Business is Good

by Cowboy Appledash

Rating: everyone
Tags: Romance, Original Character, Rainbow Dash, Big Macintosh, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 14192

Flint Easthoof, resident Hard Cider smuggler of Ponyville. Want a drink?

Flint Easthoof, resident Hard Cider smuggler of Ponyville. Born in Cloudsdale he grew up much like those of the Apple Clan who held hard work in high praise. Since discovering his talent, he was kicked out by his parents due to the nature of his cutie mark. Now he lives on the outskirts of Ponyville working side by side with Big Macintosh distilling and distributing said cider for all the alcoholics of Ponyville.

Check out the up and coming prequel 'Business Partners' by Ascended Wings himself here! http://www.fimfiction.net/story/49280/Business-Partners

Published 2012-06-12 03:44:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-09-21 05:18:07 UTC

Let's Drink On It

Blood and glass everywhere Broken jugs and distilled liquor littered the ground in front of him where the stallion lay broken and bleeding. He picked his black hat up off the floor and planted it firmly on his head. A small pool of crimson had formed around his hooves, staining his beige coat. Taking a deep breath he gazed down at the battered pony. He wiped a single tear from his eye before he spoke.

“I ever catch you ‘roun these parts again.” The stallion spit at the ground, leaving a red and brown stain on the once white tile. “I’ll make sure you don’t live to see the next sunrise…”

~

‘Just get out! We don’t want to see you ever again. You’re a criminal!’ The words of his mother had haunted him ever since the day he got his cutie mark. A simple jug of hard cider emblazoned on his flank had distraught his parents so much they had kicked him out of the house not wanting a ‘criminal’ living under their roof. Flint was sitting in the forest next to his still as he always did until his ‘crop’ was ready for ‘harvest’.

“They gettin’ to ya again Flint?” Big Macintosh, the first real friend and business partner Flint had found since his ‘banishment’ taken a seat next to him.

“Yep. Buncha damn bigots is what they is.” Flint spat on the ground and looked Mac in the eye. “You’d think they wouldn’t care since I’m their son, but what should I expect from uppity Cloudsdale folk? Respect? Tolerance? HA! Like that‘ll ever happen.”

“Y’ever thought ‘bout makin’ amends?”

“Once or twice, but knowin’ them, it’s about as pointless as getting’ your sis to sell that hat of hers.” Big Mac grunted in agreement and stood up.

“So how long ya think till this here batch is ready?”

“Bout another hour or two, you got all the buyers lined up?”

“Eeyup.”

“So… How’s AJ been lately?”

“Same as usual, stubborn, hard headed and brutally honest. Noticed she’s getting’ a bit wide roun’ her barrel though.” Flint dropped the jug he had been examining turning to face Mac.

“Come again?”

“She’s getting’ a bit wide roun’ the barrel.” Flints mind began racing, there were only two plausible reasons for this and she isn’t known to eat a whole lot and gain weight. It had to be option B, she’d gotten pregnant and there was a chance that it was Flints doing. Trying his best to keep his composure he brought the conversation back to its original topic.

“Think it’s done now, why don’t you go an gather them jugs an we can start fillin’ em.”

~

“Reverb… Didn’t he used to live in Canterlot?” Flint stepped over a fallen tree and looked back at Big Mac who had been carrying their pack for the past ten minutes.

“Did, moved out here to watch over his sister apparently.”

“I see… who’s his sister?”

“Don’ rightfully know. Said everypony knew ‘er, but that don’ help none.”

“Uh huh… Where’s his place at anyway?”

“Look ahead of you an you’ll see.” Flint turned and noticed a quaint cottage just off the road leading from Ponyville to Denmare.

“Rustic… Well lets leave his bottles on the back porch, doubt anypony’ll be snoopin’ roun’ his place an find ‘em.” Flint reached into the pack and retrieved two bottles of their 160 proof, genuine Hard Apple Cider. “Hope he likes this batch, decided to throw in some bits of Poison Joke pollen to give it a bit of a kick.”

“That… Is just sinister Flint, but I like it. Oughta have some funny moments roun’ town here shortly.” Flint smirked as he trotted off back into the woods Big Mac lumbering behind him.

“Next…” Flint scanned the list of buyers and came to the next name. “Big Mac, are you stupid or somethin‘?”

“Eenope. Why?”

“See this name right here?” Flint pushed the parchment up to Macs muzzle and let him read the names. “That pony is no consumer of Hard Cider, it’s a ruse.”

“Now Flint, Ah’m pretty sure she wouldn’t come up to me personally asking for some Cider if she didn’t drink it.”

“Mac, this is the damn Mayor for Celestia’s sake. She’s got the town guards at her beck and call there ain’t no way she wants this stuff. She wants us to get caught so she can rake up the tax bits from that crappy legal liquor.”

“Well Ah’m makin’ the delivery anyway. If anything does happen you just run on outta here.”

“Buck that, I’m goin’ with ya one way or another. Lets just get this over with…”

The duo traveled west along the outskirts of Ponyville until they reached the perimeter of the mayors manor. Seeing no guards around Flint grabbed the single bottle the mayor had ordered and took to the air. Using the leaves of the surrounding trees as cover he darted through the forest until he was mere yards from the house. Nopony in sight He thought to himself as he descended to the ground. Just gotta do this as fast and quiet as possible. Scanning his surroundings Flint found nothing amiss and galloped up to the porch. Placing the jug on the ground he flared his wings ascending upward.

“So your Big Macintosh’s partner. I should have known by now having seen you around town a few times already.” Flint lowered himself back to the ground and turned around to face whomever it was that decided to confront him.

“Yeah, and you are?”

“The one and only Rainbow Dash!”

“What are you doing here?”

“Duh, I came to get some of that hard cider you guys make, I’ve heard it’s pretty good.”

Well you’re gonna have to wait till the next batch is finished cause we only got a couple left an they already been paid for.”

“Then I’ll pay now and take ‘em off your hooves, tell ‘em the bottles got broken or somethin’. “ Dash had grown very persistent in acquiring this new product and had slowly been advancing toward Flint.

“No can do. Some may call me a ‘criminal’, but I’m a hard worker and honest at that. These jugs are gettin’ to their destination whether you pay or not. You just gotta wait till next week.”

That being said, Flint flared his wings once more and darted off into the dense forest in an attempt to get away from the seemingly alcoholic mare.

“Seems I forgot to tell you that I’m the fastest flier in all of Equestria.” Rainbow had easily flown up next to him and gave an accomplished smirk to prove she meant business.

“Fast, maybe. Nimble? Try again sister.” Flint banked and buzzed around several trees attempting to throw Dash into a confused loop. “So she’s a bit smarter than I thought, gotta step it up a notch.” He hooked sharply around a nearby tree and flew straight at Rainbow. Mere feet from colliding with her he dove downward wings nearly hitting the ground. Once more he banked this time going left then up to find the open sky.

“You’re so predictable Mr. Easthoof, you really think you could have lost me that easily?” Dash flew lazily beneath him not even a single drop of sweat to be found.

“Fine, you wanna talk business? Then lets drink on it. My place is just south of Ponyville, look for the tobacco garden in the back yard an you’ll know the place. meet me there in 2 hours and we’ll figure somethin’ out. Deal?”

“Deal.”

To be Continued…

Four X's

[A/N] Sorry bout the wait guys, as I've said before work had me real tied up for time. But good news everypony I got fired... For telling jokes if you'll believe that. Nonetheless, here's a new chapter, and as I've promised a friend of mine, I am incorporating his OC into the story. If you want your OC Pony in the story, leave a picture and detailed description about his/her personality and other traits in the comment section. I'm looking for more Earth ponies and Unicorns though, gotta balance out the raes ya know? Same with some mares, I need me some of them. Side note: Don't give me none of that 'demon/alicorn' bullshit.

“Hey Mac, what do you know ‘bout ‘Rainbow Dash’?” Flint had taken a few minutes trying to find Big Macintosh after his aerial escapade with the fancy flying filly and was a bit concerned for her interest in his ‘products’.

“She’s mah sisters best friend and worst enemy, them two’ve been competin’ in just about anything’ ya’ll could imagine. Why d’ya ask?”

“Because she wants to make a deal with us to get some cider, and I couldn’t lose her flank so we’re gonna be workin’ out all the details at my place here in about two hours.” Big Macintosh rolled the sprig of straw in his mouth a bit before continuing.

“Well, the mare sure does love her Apple Cider, maybe she wants somethin’ with a bit more kick now.”

“Better be damn well all she wants, I don’t need guards shovin’ their muzzles in my backside cause some idiotic mare decided to grow a loose tongue.”

“Ya’ll ain’t got nothing to worry ‘bout Flint, she represents the Element of Loyalty so everythin’s fine an dandy.”

As the two trotted off to finish up their deliveries, Flint couldn’t shake the feeling that somewhere in the woods there was a pony thoroughly studying the duo from the brush.

~

‘What is she doing?’ Reverb thought to himself as he watched his younger sister gallivanting around with some unknown Pegasus pony. ‘She doesn’t even know him and here she is friendly as could be.’ Reverb dove to the ground as a light green blur whizzed over him followed by a rainbow contrail.

He took to the sky in pursuit of his sister to insure she wouldn’t get hurt, what he saw didn’t surprise him so much as impress him. There she was hot on the stallions tail not missing a eat whenever he’d maneuver around, it was almost as if she knew his next move before he did.

“Well hot damn Rainbow, it’s a wonder the Wonderbolts haven’t recruited you yet…”

~

True Hook, a light brown Pegasus sat on the edge of Denmare Reservoir watching his line as it swayed to and fro with the waters current. It wasn’t a high paying line of work, but given the fact griffons didn’t make much money in the first place he understood quite well that they too needed food in order to survive. His rod twitched violently and in the blink of an eye Hook had the pole clenched in his teeth and was reeling in the first catch of the day.

“C’mon now, don’t fight too much. You ain’t the first, an you sure ain’t the last.” He could tell by the way this fish was fighting that it would fetch a good price down in Stalliongrad. The fish jumped out of the water, a massive fourteen inches in length, there was no way True Hook would let this one go. “Get on up here, there’s a hungry griffon just waitin’ for ya.”

“Seems every time I go lookin' for ya yer out here catchin' these here fish.”

True hook nearly jumped out of his hide as he hadn't heard Flint land right next to him. “Damn flint, ya always gotta sneak up on ponies like that?”

“Nah, but yer funnier than hell to scare. I tell ya what.”

“Tell me what?”

“It's an expression dumbass, now ya'll want a piece of this here new batch of cider or what?” Flint reached around to his saddlebags and produced a cream white bottle with 4 X's marked on the side.

“C'mon now Flint, you know me. Of course I do. Question is though... Why's this one got four X's on it instead of the usual three?”

“Cause I put a little somethin' special in this here batch, that's why.” Flint shook the jar around a bit enticing the currently sober fisherpony. “Same price though, 20 bits an she's yers.”

“Yeah yeah, just hand it over already.” True Hook grabbed a bag of bits from the sack he had set next to him and tossed the currency to Flint. “If this kills me, I'm gonna come back an ring your neck you hear me?”

“Sure, have fun ya drunken fish monger.” With his business done Flint beat his wings and rose to the sky, but not before flashing his trademark wink to his oldest customer.

Sure he can put up a decent facade when the time called for it, yet somehow he still felt the fur on the back of his neck standing on end the entire time he made the transaction. Was he being tailed? Or was it just getting chilly, he didn't rightly know but there was only one way to find out. By getting the hell out of Dodge. In the blink of an eye he accelerated toward Whitetail Wood to see which of his theories would hold true.

In the past Flint has had many people on his tails for reasons he couldn't count. Yet the number one reason was the simple fact that they didn't take kindly to his operation. So out of instinct when things got heated his first option was to run, if that didn't work there was always plan 'B', kill them and hide the body, luckily it hadn't come to that quite yet but Flint knew it was only a matter of time in this risky business.

Weaving between tree's Flint knew the easiest way to know somepony was after him was the fact the couldn't run through the forest without making a hell of a lot of noise. Sure enough he could hear twigs snapping and the sound of hoofseps behind him. Just bucking great, he thought, might have to deal with this guy the hard way...

“I ain't stupid, I can hear you back there, ya'll couldn't sneak up on a deaf an blind pony if'n ya tried!”

“That's cause Ah'm not sneakin' ya paranoid idiot.” A red figure emerged from behind a nearby tree breathing heavily.

“Dangit Mac, why didn't you just tell me in the first place, I thought I had a tail there for a while.”

“Ya did, Ah took care of 'em though.”

“What when?” Flint descended down to Big Mac's level and dropped rather unceremoniously to the ground.

“Just after ya'll came through these here woods, Ah was waitin' in the treeline cause Ah seen him followin' ya earlier. Knowin' exactly where you'd go when ya sensed him Ah waited till he got to the edge an knocked him out cold. Had a camera too, grabbed it before Ah came back after you.”

“Oh hell no, he's gotta be with the guards! We need to destroy that ASAP Mac!”

“Don't ya'll fret, Ah got it taken care of.” That being said Big Macintosh tossed the camera to the ground and stepped on it breaking it into multiple pieces. “The sun'll destroy all them pictures, so we don't gotta worry bout them findin' it an still havin' evidence.”

“They damn well better not...” Flint turned and looked to the west, noticing the sun was about to go down he turned back to his 'partner in crime'. “It's getting' late Mac, s'alright if I crash at yur place tonight? Don't really feel like walkin' all the way back to mine tonight.

“Sure thing buddy, under one condition.”

Flint gave Mac a skeptical look and leaned closer to him. “And these here conditions are...?”

“Gotta help lil' Applebloom with her homework when we get there.”

“Sometimes I really hate you ya big ugly Clydesdale.” Flint brushed past Big Macintosh in the direction of the farm.

“The feelin's mutual 'Whiskey Slim'.”

Flint turned his head and shot Mac a 'fuck you too' look. A few more seconds passed until he began laughing like a deranged idiot. “I like that, thas a new one. Oh man, I gotta find some stupid nicknames for you now...”

Do I Look Fat?

[A/N] Ya'll better be happy, it's nearly 8 a.m. here, I've been up all night tryin' to figure out what to write for this here chapter an I just pulled this out of my ass for you guys! Hope you like it, sorry it's so short though... :/

“Hey RD, can Ah ask ya'll a quick question?”

“Sure AJ, what's up?” Rainbow Dash as per her usual mid-day routine had been napping on one of the tree's at Sweet Apple Acres, and as always she always chose a tree with ripe fruit, one which had been scheduled to be bucked by Applejack herself. Long story short, she got knocked out of the tree, and was now tail up under the tree looking at AJ.

“Do Ah look... Fat to ya?” Applejack blushed and looked away, not sure whether or not she wanted an answer from her polychromatic pal.

“Honest truth or obvious lie?”

“Truth.”

Dash took a quick deep and looked AJ in the eye. “You look a teeny bit bigger than usual. Been taking extra slices of pie lately?”

“Nope. Same as usual, I ain't changed nothin' bout mah diet or mah daily routine.”

“Maybe it's just... Ya know... That time.” Rainbow, like any other mare had been around long enough to recognize the signs of menstruation, and bloating was definitely one of them. “If it's got ya that concerned maybe you should go see Twi about it.”

“That's just it though, Ah ain't had that in nearly six weeks!”

Rainbow's eyes grew to the size of dinner plates as she was fed the new information. “AJ... Is there some stallion you ain't tellin' me about?”

“Not that Ah know of!” Applejack had begun to panic as all the pieces began falling into place.

“AJ, I think you're pregnant...”

~

Flint woke up to the sound of crying and dry heaving in the next room and being the 'good samaritan' he is, he decided to go check it out. He trotted out into the hallway and went up to the door where the noises were coming from. The hell... This is AJ's room, why would she be cryin'? Turning the handle he peeked his head into the room. What he saw completely shocked him, the strongest mare he'd ever known was rocking back and forth on her bed sniveling like a heartbroken school filly. “Hey AJ, whas' goin' on?”

“Ah... Ah'm... Pregnant!” Applejack nearly shouted through a cascade of strained breaths and sniffs. This was all Flint needed to hear, he couldn't react properly so instead, he decided to pass out then and there on the spot. “Flint?”

~

“So you and Rainbow think you may have gotten pregnant?” Twilight Sparkle had her nose stuck in yet another book and wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to what the tomboyish duo were babbling on about. “What makes you think you got kno- I mean... 'fertilized'?”

“LOOK!” Applejack motioned to her belly with a hoof. “Ah'm all big an Ah ain't had my 'you-know-what' in six weeks!”

“But we don't know who the stallion is or how it happened.” Rainbow interjected.

“Well luckily for you, I know of a spell that will let me know if you are indeed pregnant or if it's just a screw-up in your system.”

“Then just do yer crazy magic already!”

“Ok fine, geez.” Twilight set her book down and motioned for AJ to sit down. Doing so, AJ couldn't help but start shaking from the anxiety. “This may take a couple moments so bare with me.” Mere seconds after Twilights horn began glowing it stopped. The look she wore before had dissolved into one of both shock and confusion.

“Well?!” Applejack had begun to weep at this point, even Rainbow Dash looked a bit frightened.

“Well... You're definitely pregnant, but that's not everything.”

“What do you mean that ain't everythin'!?”

“The foal is a pegasus...”

That Smelly Smell

Yet another mundane day in the quiet Equestrian town of Ponyville, birds chirped and flew around without a care. A light breeze flowed through bringing with it the scent of apples from Sweet Apple Acres. Through town strode a lone Pegasus, well what WAS a Pegasus at one point. Now after some extensive surgery and genetic bionics he was once again able to fly, but his iron clad wings were hard to miss with the way they contrasted his pale blue coat. Ascended Wings, captain of the Cloudsdale guard, was here for one reason and one reason only: To snuff out and eliminate the 'moon shining' that had been brought to his attention.

One could ask 'Why is he here?', but they would likely not receive the gratification, or even a casual glance in their general direction, for at this moment he was headed to town hall in search of records for current Ponyville Citizens, one in particular. He pushed open the simple wooden doors leading into the lobby of Town Hall and approached the front desk.

“I presume you are the Mayor’s receptionist?”

“Why yes, how may I help you sir?” A young pale green mare sat behind the desk looking rather bored.

“I need to access your records for the past ten years.”

“You'll have to get that cleared with the mayor, you can make an appoint-”

“I have been requested by the mayor to snuff out an illegal operation within Ponyville,” he interrupted. "And I intend to do so. Now if you would be so kind as to show me to them. That would be greatly appreciated.”

“Yes sir, right this way.” The mare seemed a bit unnerved by Ascended Wings assertiveness but he shrugged it off as he always did. “Here you are. This book here will tell you where to locate anything you are looking for.”

“Thank you, I'll be a while so you won't need to check up on me.” The receptionist nodded and backed out the door leaving Ascended to his duty. “Alright Easthoof, where can I find you...”

~

“I smell a smelly smell... It smells, smelly...” Flint took the cigarette from his mouth and sniffed at random intervals. “You smell that Mac?”

“Eeyup.”

“Whacha think it is?” Flint tossed his cigarette to the ground and grabbed his flask containing a bit of Cider from a previous batch.

“Dunno, might wanna go check it out though.”

“Go for it, I'm watchin' the still.” Flint waved his hoof as if to dismiss Big Mac while he sat back on his haunches. “Make sure nopony follows you back though.”

“Ah know Flint.”

“If ya see her bring AJ back here, I haven't seen her in a while an’ I bet she'd be interested in this operation we got goin'.”

“Will do if'n I see her.” Mac pushed the shed door open and trotted outside. “Flint ya'll need a real job. Somethin' that won't get you tossed away for doin' everyday... Like buckin' apples an’ such.”

“Ya know you ain't that quiet when ya whisper!” Flint yelled from inside the shed having overheard Macs short lived monologue. “An’ you know I can't buck apples for shit!” Big Macintosh laughed quietly to himself and set out to 'sniff out' the unknown odor that had piqued their interests.

~

“A PEGASUS?! What in tarnation are y'all talkin' about?!” Being pregnant was in fact a rather odd thing for Applejack, but the fact the foal she was carrying held the traits of a pegasi it stirred up numerous questions inside her that she wasn't sure she wanted to know the answers to.

“I'm afraid so, and as I'm sure you're aware, there's only one way for this to have happened.” Twilight looked her country friend in the eye, calm as ever. “You slept with a Pegasus and you're carrying his child.”

“Ah ain't slept with nopony! Ah... Ah'm still a virgin!” Applejack had grown both confused and frightened at the prospect of being a mother, something she wasn't ready for yet.

“You're wrong on both accounts I'm afraid. Knowing you, you probably got drunk and went to bed with a rather unsavory character.”

“Ain't there somethin' y'all can do to make it stop?”

“APPLEJACK! How could you ask such a thing? From ME of all ponies! You KNOW I would NEVER practice black magic even for my best friends!” Twilight, for the first time since their friendship began, was infuriated with Applejack; she had never been known to make such dark requests even during her most stressful of times. “I know you don't think you're ready to take on this responsibility but you have to, there's no other way.”

“Ah'm sorry Twi, Ah'm just scared, what if Ah ain't a good mother? Or Ah can't take care of it, what then?” AJ had begun to shed tears now and was crying almost as hard as she did when she lost her father.

“That's what friends are for.” Twilight moved over to Applejack and wrapped her foreleg around her. “Whenever you need help, we'll be there. No matter what you're struggling with, we'll do our best to help, especially Rainbow; she is the Element of Loyalty after all.”

~

Flint sat alone in his shed as his still went through its steps to create the intoxicating elixir he and Mac had brewed. The only sound to accompany him was the boiling liquid inside the pot and the soft breeze outside coaxing the leaves on the trees.

Opening the flap on his shirt, Flint studied the small golden trinket pinned to the inside. “Sure hope you're enjoying the high life Spitty. Wish I could've made it to the big times with you...”

Memories Both Vivid and Faded

A/N Thanks to my good buddy Ascended Wings, this chapter will include some pictures for your viewing pleasure.

“Easy-eyes, Eastern, Ebony... Where the hell is Easthoof? He should be in here between Eastern and Ebony...” Ascended Wings stood up and pushed open the door, the tome clenched tightly in his teeth. He trotted up to the receptionist and slammed the book down in front of her sleeping form startling her to an alert and awake state.

“HEY! What gives?”

“Easthoof, Flint Easthoof. Why is he not in the ledger?”

“Uh, probably because he doesn't live in Ponyville, duh.” The receptionist eyed him angrily and set her head back down.

“Then where is the mayor?”

“Upstairs in her office, go have fun.” The receptionist waved a hoof dismissively and closed her eyes. Turning tail, Ascended trotted up the wooden staircase to locate the mayors office to share a few choice words with her.

“I. Am a Maaaaare, of constant sorrooooooow!” A rather unpleasant tone was emitting from a nearby room, one that resembled singing but was so poorly done, one could not do it justice with such a title. “An I... forgot the woooords to this soooong!” Ascended located the source of the racket and nudged the door open. Behind her desk sat the Mayor with a half empty bottle of Whiskey and a face flushed deep red, she seemed to be bobbing back and forth trying to find her equilibrium.

“There had better be a damn good reason you're drunk off your flank at this time of the day Ms. Mare.”

“There'd better be a damn... a damn good reason you're not over here taking adva... vantage of me... Miiiister Wings.”

~

This one fits better in the previous chapter but eh.

“Sure hope you're enjoying the high life Spitty. Wish I could've made it to the big times with you.” Flint studied the Golden pin on his lapel, it still shone like the day he got it, pristine and perfect. The pin was in fact very simple in design but held a higher sentimental value than some other more intricate pieces, a bolt of lightning with a pair of wings extruding from the top, the very same symbol used by the Wonderbolts. “And to think I was so close to making the cut, but Soarin beat me by a mile, that's for damn sure.”

He stood up and sauntered over to the table where his pack of Mareboro cigarettes rested. He flicked the box open and pulled one out. “I should really stop smoking these.” Shrugging he leaned in close to the flame heating the pot and lit his smoke. “But I don't really want to.”

“So you ALMOST became a Wonderbolt, is that what I'm hearing?” Rainbow Dash stood in the doorway of the shed a mocking smug plastered across her face.

“The hell? Do you know how to knock?” Flint carried a look of utter surprise as Dash casually glanced around the room.

“No. But you told me to meet you here, and you weren't in the house so I figured I'd check in this shed. You didn't answer my question though.”

Flint eyed the young mare before he spoke. “Yeah, almost. Soarin is way better than me though, if he hadn't been there I would probably be living it up in Canterlot or somethin' right about now. No hard feelings on my end though.”

“You know, I'm next in line to become a Wonderbolt.” The polychromatic mare stood proud as if she expected a hail of praise from the sarcastic stallion. After he failed to do as she hoped her expression returned to normal.

“Is that so? Tell me, what makes you think you can make it? Sure you're fast, but you gotta be smart too, it's not just a bunch of loops and twists, it's all about synchronization and teamwork.”

If he hadn't known any better, Flint could've sworn that if looks could kill he'd be six feet under this very moment. “Yah, I know.” Rainbow snapped. “I can work in a team just fine, in fact I do better that way.”

“Damn, calm your ovaries you crazy filly.” Flint reached into his jacket and produced his flask. “Take a drink, maybe that'll calm you down a bit.”

“I'm good, it's only 3 in the afternoon anyway, not drinking time yet.”

Flint laughed quietly to himself, here this mare was about to make a business deal to acquire alcohol and she wasn't even going to drink in the process. “I'm not sure if I can sell my product to somepony who ain't even willing to try it first.” The smirk he flashed Dash both aggravated her and somehow managed to rouse a sense of attraction.

“I... Okay, not too much though. I, uh... I gotta train later.” If it weren't more obvious she was lying Flint would've thought she had a stuttering problem. He poured a bit of Cider into a shot glass and stared at the liquid for a bit.

“Take a sit down, you ain't doin' anything later.” Dash obliged and slowly sat back on her haunches next to Flint. “So tell me. Why is it that a young mare like you wants to purchase some vile concoction like this?” Flint lifted the jug to exaggerate his point.

“You don't need to worry about that.” Reaching over, she took the shot glass and quickly threw back its contents. The expression on her face told Flint everything he needed to know about her and cider.

“I don't think I can sell this to you.”

“What?! Why the hay not?”

“Because for starters, you can barely keep it down.” After seeing the look Dash gave him after his comment he hesitated a bit. “And for two, you don't want to spend your hard earned bits on this... Stuff.” In a huff, Rainbow trudged out of the shack making it painfully obvious that she was infuriated. “And lastly, because I knew that if you really wanted to buy some you wouldn't have left like that...”

~

Applejack paced back and forth in her bedroom racking her brain and trying to find an explanation as to how she got pregnant, and when for that matter. Minutes passed and she was no closer to coming up with a solution. She collapsed to the floor and gazed under her bed, there underneath the mattress sat an empty jug of Hard Cider. All the pieces had finally come together. She couldn't remember because she was inebriated at the time, the last time she had seen him was roughly six months ago and to top it all off HE was a pegasus, just like her foal. “Ya dirty winged mule.” She suddenly remembered something that would've helped her figure it out sooner, the only morning she ever woke up with a hangover she vaguely remembered a stallion trying to sneak out of her room.

She stood up and quickly nudged her door open scaring the wits out of a curious Applebloom. “Sorry Applebloom, Ah got some business to take care of!” With that she rushed out of the house and in the general direction of Flints home. “When Ah get through with him I swear...”

The Beginning of a Bad Tomorrow

After a brief and rather odd confrontation with the Mayor, Ascended exited the office in a huff slamming the door behind him to demonstrate his mood. “How one like yourself could become Mayor of this rustic township is beyond me.” he said under his breath, “Very well, since you have no records of Mr. Easthoof, I suppose I must do this the old fashioned way.” Decided it was best to make good time with the little daylight he had left, Ascended trotted to the local post office. Considering his current state and his investigation he could kill two birds with one stone. First he could search for postal records and Easthoof and he could make contact with his old friend Alana in Stalliongrad.

Opening the door leading into the post office, Ascended was greeted by the ringing of a bell and the faint scent of cardboard.

“Welcome to Ponyville Postal where we take your mail and send it an all direc...” From the back room a grey pegasus mare appeared. When she saw Ascended she stopped dead in her tracks. “Uh... Hi... I'm uh... I'm Der- I mean Ditzy Do...” She turned her head slightly, hiding one of her eyes from Ascended a slight blush on her face.

“Good evening ms. Do, can you by chance allow me access to the postal records I'm trying to find somepony.” Ascended seemed unfazed by the mares reaction and kept his composure.

“I... I don't think I'm allowed to let you look at them, but I could probably help you find the pony you're looking for if you tell me their name.”

“Easthoof, Flint Easthoof originally from Cloudsdale. Any information on the stallion?”

“Oh him? Yeah he lives right outside Ponyville, to the East to be precise about two miles out.” Ascended, for the first time in a while, had grown utterly bewildered. This mare had recalled all the details he needed in a matter of seconds without even going through the records.

'if only I'd come here sooner' he thought to himself. “Thank you kindly ms. Do, that's all I needed. Have a good rest of the day.”

“Wait!” Ditzy called out “Um... Mr... I never did get your name.”

“Ascended Wings, Captain of the Cloudsdale guard. Did you need something?”

“Well, not really no. I was just wondering. Would you by chance want to, I dunno... Meet me for dinner tonight?” She turned to face him doing her best to keep her lazy eye under control.

“Well...” Ascended paused and thought for a bit. “What did you have in mind?”

~

Sitting atop one of the few clouds in the sky, Rainbow Dash sat fuming. How could Flint deny her some cider? She was willing to pay, but just cause she wouldn't drink with him he refused to cooperate? Her thoughts added fuel to the fire as she neared her boiling point, she almost hadn't heard somepony call her name... Almost.

“Rainbow Dash!”

“What the flying feather do you want?!” She screamed over the edge of her cloud.

“Ya'll best knock that tone off right now before Ah knock you out mahself!”

“Applejack?” Rainbow stood atop the cloud and peered over it's edge. Just as she had guessed, Applejack stood below. “What's up?”

“Ya'll know Flint Easthoof right?”

“Yeah, I was just talkin' to his sorry flank like ten minutes ago. Can you believe he refused to sell me some hard cider?”

“Do ya'll remember where he lives? Ah need ta have a word with 'im.”

Rainbow leaped off the cloud and soared downward to meet her friend. “Yeah, I'll take you to him right now. What do you need to talk to him about anyway?”

“Oh you'll see here in a few.”

Taking it as her cue, Dash hovered above Applejack leading her to Flints abode. On the way there, Rainbow had told Applejack all about her attempt at a business deal and how it had gone sour. This merely instigated more raw emotion from the orange earth pony, who not only made it a personal mission for herself, but also for her friend, to give Flint what he had coming.

~

Flint figured Big Macintosh would start heading back now. He knew it would still be a while so he poured himself a shot and threw it back letting the liquid make it's way to his belly, burning the whole way down. After a few brief seconds, Flint opened his lapel once more and fished for the old photograph he always had with him.

There in the picture stood him and three other pegasi, his first love, a yellow mare with a fiery mane and orange eyes. His first friend, who he always competed with, light blue coat, dark blue mane and that cocky grin always plastered on his muzzle. Then there was him, the other blue colt almost identical to the other save for those ice blue eyes that seemed to bore into ones heart.

“Spitfire, Soarin and Ascended... I sure miss those days back at flight school. I wonder what ever happened to you?” Flint said to himself looking into the eyes of a young Ascended Wings. Did you ever join the guard? Or did you end up a lowlife like me?”

“He prolly made a life for himself an settled down, somethin' you shoulda done a while back as well.” Big Macintosh sat next to Flint, how he managed to sneak in their being bigger than a house was beyond Flints imagination.

“How in the hay can a big lug like you be so quiet?”

“Dunno, but did ya'll hear a lick of what Ah just said?” Mac reached for the half empty jug of cider and a shot glass.

“Yeah I heard ya. It ain't exactly easy to 'settle down' If I'm single you know.”

“If'n my gut's tellin' the truth, you ain't gonna have a choice in the matter here soon.”

“What do you mean?” Flint eyed Big Mac suspiciously.

“Word is ya done knocked up mah little sister, an from the sound of things, she ain't too happy.” Big Macintosh turned his head to match Flints gaze. “An if ya'll don't take responsibility for what ya did, Ah'll kill you...”

You Poor Thing

“You can't be serious.” Rainbow Dash eyed Applejack suspiciously, hoping that in some way it was all a terrible joke when she knew all too well the intentions of the Element of Honesty.

“Ah'm afraid not, that's why Ah gotta go talk to Flint.” Applejack trotted behind Rainbow Dash, her breathing gradually growing more and more labored.

“So you're telling me he got you drunk, knocked you up and just left without a word?”

“Thas how Ah remember it.” Applejack shook her head. “Ah don't know what Ah'm gonna do RD, the whole prospect of havin' a foal kinda scares me.”

“Well duh, Sweet Apple Acres isn't exactly rolling in bits and having a newborn foal around isn't gonna do you guys any better. You should probably just pawn it off on Flint, let him raise it.”

“Rainbow Dash! How could ya'll say such a thing? Ah know it's gonna be hard but I can't just take the easy way out. That ain't the Apple family way, ya'll should know that.”

“I don't know what to tell you then, it's the only thing I can think of aside from having you and Flint raise it together.”

“Ah never actually thought of that.” Applejack put a hoof to her chin and began pondering the possibilities.

“Thought of what?”

Applejack remained silent walking alongside her friend. She mulled everything over in her mind, all the pros and cons that could and most likely will, come with being with Flint. She looked back up at Dash and grinned halfheartedly.

“Gettin' to really know Flint... Lettin' this here youngin' a grow up good an proper.” Applejack looked down at her swollen belly and smiled. “He can't be that bad of a guy when ya get to know him right?”

~

“Mac. You do realize who you're talkin' to right?” Flint stood up and eyed Big Macintosh warily. “The lil' shit will be better off without me around, you know that just as well as I do.”

“Flint, Ah don't rightfully care, it's you responsibility since ya'll gave into your carnal desires an slept with AJ. Ah reckon she's on her way here right now to have a couple words with ya.” Mac turned around and opened the door to the shed. “I'll be right outside this door, you ain't goin nowhere till the two of you talk this out. Understand?”

“Yeah sure whatever...” Flint watched as his friend lumbered out the door and quietly closed it behind him. He waited until he was sure Mac wasn't listening before he finally broke down. “Shit shit shit shit shit shit SHIT! What am I gonna do? I can't take care of a foal, much less a mare! Shit!” Flint was in a dead-set panic trying to find some sort of alternative solution to his dilemma.

“But I can't run either, that's not right. GAH!” Flint buried his head in his hooves and collapsed to his rump. “I'm screwed, there's no way for me to wiggle my way out of this one.” Just then, a gloriously terrible idea came to Flints mind. “If I just take the kid under my wing, I won't have to worry about paying AJ any money!”

Standing up, he sauntered over to a nearby bench and sat down, awaiting Applejacks arrival.

Outside the door, Big Macintosh sat quietly thinking about the whole situation. He knew Flint, he knew of all his shortcomings and personal flaws. Flint was, in his opinion, not the most honorable or noble of ponies, something that had always backfired on him throughout life. Sure, the pegasus has his moments, but even then those were rare occasions.

“What am I gonna do with you Flint?” Mac mumbled quietly to himself. “Yer one of the few true friends Ah got...” Big Macintosh heard footsteps and immediately looked up to find Applejack and Rainbow Dash headed straight for the shed. He decided it best that he go meet them halfway to give them a small margin of time to discuss the situation.

“So Ah take it the little feathered rat is in that there shed?” Applejack stated rather blatantly. “No offense RD.” Rainbow simply shrugged it off and kept to her hovering.

“Eeyup.”

“Alrighty, well Rainbow, I hate to ask. But could ya'll stay out here with Big Macintosh? This conversation is gonna be pretty personal.”

“No problem AJ, I can probably show Mac here some of my tricks anyway.” Rainbow turned to make and gave him subtle wink, one that hadn't phased him on the outside, yet on the inside, seemed to set his heart ablaze.

Applejack waltzed through the door, a minute later, Rainbow and Mac bared witness to a one sided shouting match that would rival Princess Luna’s 'Royal Canterlot Voice'.

“So... Dash. Can ya'll show me some o' them fancy tricks ya'll like to do so much?” Rainbow couldn't see it, but Big Mac was blushing harder than a school filly who had just been asked to Prom.

~

“So what time do you get off work then ms. Doo?” If Ascended was trying to be smooth, Ditzy was the only pony that would have noticed as she seemed to cling to his words for dear life.

“Oh I can leave right now, all the important stuff is done already.” It was all too apparent that Ditzy was head over fetlocks for this new stallion, even if Ascended himself couldn't quite tell.

“Oh... Well where would you like to go? I don't know of many places in this town, so you'll have to be my guide of sorts.”

“We don't have to go anywhere special, I'm a modest mare who likes the simple things in life. So if you'd like, we could just walk around town. Maybe get to know each other a little better.” At this point, Ditzy had walked out from behind the desk and was edging ever closer to Ascended. She wore a look of pure sultry desire on her face, yet to Ascended she just looked a bit sleep deprived.

“I'd like that. Shall we go then?” Ascended trotted over to the door and opened it motioning for Ditzy to take the lead.

“And a gentlecolt too. Oh Mr. Wings, could you be any more of a charmer?”

“I don't know, I'm just doing what every stallion should do.” Ditzy gave a soft smile and traipsed out the door, making sure to flip her tail up beneath the nose of Ascended. The result was a slightly flabbergasted Captain of the Guard watching the backside of a mare sway to and fro in an almost hypnotized state.

“Well, are you coming? Or are you just gonna stare at my flanks all day?” She elicited a slight giggle shaking Ascended from his stupor.

“Ah... Yeah, I- I'm sorry...”

“I don't mind. Not one bit.” She waited for Ascended to catch up to her. When he had finally matched her pace, she took the initiative to lean against him, it was time to bring out her 'A game'. “After all, I'm sure being the... Captain... of the guard must be a VERY lonely profession. Am I right?”

“Well, there are some nights where-”

Time to play the trump card, she thought. “Oh you poor thing!” she nuzzled closer to him, giving him as much affection as she could possibly muster. “What ever can I do to make your stay here a pleasant one?”

Why Doesn't it Bother You?

Applejack glared at the door in front of her, if she could it would have spontaneously combusted from the pure fury in her eyes. Sighing heavily she slammed the door open and stomped inside startling Flint. He knew right then and there that now was not the time for a smart mouth, now was the time for answers and honesty.

“YA LITTLE BUCKIN RAT!” Applejack exploded as she made her way to him. “HOW IN CELESTIA'S NAME COULD YA'LL GO AN GET ME PREGNANT.”

Flint bit his tongue, one wrong word and he'd be fertilizer for next years growing season. “Applejack, you an I were both drunk.” He swallowed a breath of air and continued “I wasn't thinking and I made a mistake.”

“NO SHIT YA'LL MADE A MISTAKE!” AJ snorted heavily expressing her disgust with the stallion “HOW THE HELL AM AH SUPPOSED TO FIX THIS, hmm? DO AH JUST RAISE IT ON MEH OWN?”

“We're gona have to figure out somethin', but could you please stop yelling?” Flint stood up and reached into his pocket for his flask. At least a drink should take some of the edge off. “Here, have some cider and calm down a bit.”

Applejack grabbed the flask and emptied 3 quarters of it's content down her throat, glaring at him the whole time.

“Now can we talk...” He paused as AJ tossed the flask back to him “Normally?”

“Ah suppose.” Applejack sighed once more knowing that yelling wasn't going to help her any.

“So what exactly do you want me to do?”

Applejack looked up at Flint, a glimmer of hope in her eyes. “Maybe, Ah dunno... Help me give this here youngin' a good an proper foalhood?”

“I honestly doubt I'd be a good father, an besides,” Flint trotted over to the still and began checking all the valves and gauges to make sure nothing had gone wrong. “we don't know anything about each other, how would that work out?” Taking a drink for himself he sat down again in front of Applejack.

“Maybe we can do things right this time. Instead of... Ya know, rollin' in the hay from the start.” She looked at Flint with pleading eyes and it was apparent that she would prefer this over him not being there for their foal. “Can we at least give it a shot Flint?”

He looked closely at the mare before him. Studying her, looking for any hint of treachery or malice. Sure, she had barged through the door wailing like a banshee, but that was merely in the heat of the moment. Now that she had time to calm down, her true emotions should be coming into play.

Yet, all the while he stared at her, he couldn't find it. She no longer conveyed that harsh aura that threatened to behead him mere moments ago. What was then the face of death itself, was now Cadence at work. Gracefully guiding his emotions and feelings for the better. “I... Yeah, I suppose we can.”

~

Rainbow floated down to Big Macintosh's side having just performed an aerial display, free of charge, for the stoic red behemoth “Geez, that didn't last long. Did she go all black widow on him already?”

“Nope.”

“What makes you think that.”

Big Macintosh turned to Rainbow Dash shooting her a nearly unreadable but obviously 'knowing glance'. “She's mah sister, Ah just know.”

“Oh...” Rainbow looked away quickly, racking her mind for just the right way to approach the subject on her mind. “Hey Mac. Can uh- Can I ask you something?”

“Eeyup.”

“Do you, how should I put this. Do you have a ma-”

“Nope.” He drawled rather quickly.

“You didn't even let me finish!”

“Didn't need to.”

Dash was as puzzled as ever, how did he know she was going to ask him THAT question? “How did you-”

Big Macintosh turned and flashed a humored smirk. “Ya'll ain't the only mare that's wanted to know.”

“Oh...” Rainbow dropped her head slightly dejected.

“But Ah'm glad you finally asked me.”

“Wha-WHAT?!”

Mac did his best to suppress a twitterpated laugh. “Rainbow, Ah've waited a long time for a chance like this, Ah ain't never been on any dates or nothin'. Ah've been waiting for this moment to come cause Ah knew ya had to be the one.”

Dash's jaw nearly struck the dirt as she sat dumbfounded on her haunches. She stared in disbelief at Ponyville's most wanted stallion, he had refused to court with every mare in the hopes that the fancy flying filly would come to him! It was the most back assward scenario Dash had ever bore witness to, and the more she thought about it, the more she loved the prospect of being his first and only, special somepony.

~

“I can honestly say Ms. Doo, that this is one of the better dates I've been on.” He gazed casually at the mare across from him only to find something he hadn't noticed before. His gaze transformed to that of an intrigued, studious colt “Well now, I didn't see that earlier. Tell me Ms. Doo what is that-”

“Yes I have a lazy eye! I'm sorry, I can't help it okay? If you wanna leave now go ahead, be just like all the other stallions!”

Ascended looked taken aback at Ditzy's outburst. “To be quite frank, I didn't really notice something so minor, but now that you bring it up, I feel it accentuates your features and personality for the better.”

“Wait what? You don't mind that my eyes go all derpy?” Ditzy was dumbstruck. Never before had she met a stallion with such an indifference to her, disability, if you could call it that.

“Not in the slightest my dear, it's rather unique and cute in my honest opinion.”

“Why doesn't it bother you?”

Ascended stood up and flared his wings outward, the evening sun reflecting off the bronze hinges and bolts casting a rusty glow about him. “This is why. Why would I judge somepony from something so minor when I am burdened with the memory of my own short comings and ignorance?”He folded his wings back down to his side, his eyes refusing to waver from the mare before him “Those eyes of yours are what make you special, you were born that way for a reason. Sure they may have been the cause of unbearable suffering, but in the end, it's those hardships that made you the strong beautiful mare that you are today.”

A single tear streaked down from her eye as Ascended's words sunk in. Any doubt about herself that Ditzy held once before had shattered, it as that moment when she realized that no matter what her faults may be, she is still a pony like any other. She rushed over to Ascended wrapping him in a hug, the kind he had ever received since his days of youth. “Thank you Ascended, that means a lot to me.” She brought her head back and smiled, her tears now ran freely as she locked eyes with Ascended. Casting away all inhibitions she leaned in planting a kiss firmly on Ascended's lips. “Thank you so much...”

Taste the Rainbow

He refused to move. This was the best thing that ever happened to him, and if he was to have it his way, it would stay like this forever. Ascended Wings relished in the ecstasy of the moment, the tingling sensation on his lips and the faint taste or blueberries was almost too much for him. Lost in the moment and completely oblivious to everything around him, Ascended didn't realize that the mare in front of him was beginning to look more worried by the second.

“I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me, I-” Ditzy Doo was cut short as she noticed the once perplexed expression on Ascended's muzzle change to that of a giddy colt. “Ascended Wings!” She half shouted, snapping him back to reality.

“Huh?”

“Nevermind, let's just get going.” Ditzy pushed forward motioning for Ascended to pick up the pace.

Following closely behind, Ascended retreated to his thoughts to contemplate matters of a different level. He knew that somepony in Ponyville had to know about Flint aside from Ditzy, somepony that could get him evidence to subdue the rural ruffian. The question was, who? Who would be willing to walk into the lions den and emerge with a claw? It was then that the thought struck him, the one pony he cared about and trusted more than any other. But would she be willing to turn on an old friend? “Ditzy?”

“Yes?”

“Since I have no accommodations for the evening I'll be leaving tonight, I will be back within a week though.”

“But I just met you.” she moped “what if I can't see you again?”

“I know where you work, I'm certain I can find you when I get back.”

“Oh...” sighing she trudged forward, she was obviously downtrodden which came across as odd to Ascended.

“Is there something wrong?”

“No. It's nothing.” If she wasn't a bad liar she sure wasn't a convincing actor.

“Hold up. Tell me whats wrong.” Ascended trotted up to Ditzy and placed a hoof beneath her chin lifting her head. He took note of the few tears that had made their way down her cheek, although he didn't know what caused them, as a stallion, it was his job to help cheer her up and clear them away.

She didn't want to tell him, but there was a part of her that felt he needed to know. Whether it effected the relationship they've built or not, she knew she would have to inform him eventually. Composng herself and taking a deep breath, Ditzy steeled herself for any reaction she might receive.

“Ascended, I...”

~

“No dammit, just because she won some competition out in Stalliongrad, doesn't mean she's team material!” A rather plump unicorn pony dressed rather too formally, sat in his office taking a verbal assault relatively easy. “Don't give me that look, you know damn well it takes more than a couple of cool tricks to land a spot on Bravo Squad, let alone Alpha!”

“Are you quite done Soarin? We need this pony on the team, she'll be a great addition and you know it.”

“Doesn't mean I have to like it.”

“Actually it does, or you're fired.”

“If he's fired, I quit.” Spitfire had taken to standing off in the far side of the room quietly examining pictures and assorted Wonderbolts paraphernalia. “I can't work without Soarin and this team can't survive without the two of us, so there's your ultimatum. Take it or leave it.”

“N-no need to be rash Spitfire, I believe we can work out some sort of deal to allow this new pegasus on the team right?”

“Afraid not” Soarin interjected “This team relies on compatibility, not ability. We can't have just one fancy flying filly outshining the whole team. We are a team for a reason, we're in sync. This isn't a one trick pony kinda show, and until you realize that I'm not sure we want you around.” With a quick turn, Soarin headed for the door “Contact us when you pull your head out of your ass.”

Outside the office, Soarin waited for Spitfire, he had some things to speak about with her as well but it would have to wait until they could speak in private. It wasn't the most important of matters, but due to the ponies it involved, she needed to know and she needed to be prepared to make decisions. He could hear the muffled voice of Spitfire talking to their manager, what she was saying her didn't know, it didn't really matter in the end as every decision that would affect the team came down to them and nopony else.

“Way to stick it to him Soarin. He was in shock when you left.” Spitfire appeared next to Soarin , she continued walking down the hallway with Soarin quick to follow.

“I need to talk to you about something Spits.”

“Shoot.”

“You remember Ascended Wings from Flight School yeah?”

“Of course I do, he was one of my best friends.” Spitfire stopped and turned to look at Soarin. “What's going on?”

“He went to Ponyville the other day.”

“So? What's wrong with that?”

“He's looking for Flint.” Soarin deadpanned “You and I both know how that's going to turn out.”

“Yeah.” Spitfire sighed heavily. “Flint might just kill him. What ever happened between the two of them? I figured they would have grown up and patched things up like real stallions.”

“I think it's mainly due to Flints upbringing, his step father wasn't the most, caring, of stallions.” He shook his head and continued down the corridor. “If he asks you to come to Ponyville for whatever reason, I think you should, there's a chance you might be able to get them to make amends.”

Spitfire thought for a moment, it was true that she had a way of calming the two of them down long enough to talk things over, at least she used to. But with her being out of the picture for so long there was a good chance her leverage was no longer there. “I really hope I can get them to work it over.”

“Me too Spits, me too.”

~

Two shot glasses, a flask of hard cider and a pack of Mareboro cigarettes sat on the table in front of Flint, they were mocking him, teasing him. They almost spoke to him, if the could, they would be saying things like 'smoke me!' and 'come on, take a sip, let the mare have a couple too.' Eventually his habits got the better of him as he stewed upon the request that had been thrust upon him. He poured a shot and threw it back just as fast as it had filled the glass and to top it off he lit a cigeratte and inhaled deeply.

“So you want me to stop my operation and start working on the farm is that it?” Flint exhaled a plume of toxic smoke and eyed Applejack suspiciously, hoping that her suggestion was just a joke and not a legitimate suggestion.

“Well yeah, Ah figure you'll do good out there with us. We can work together and build our relationship the good n' proper way. That and you're less likely to get into trouble buckin' apples.”

“You have got to be kidding me, this is my life, this is what I'm good at. How about this, I work the farm and do this at the same time. It's more money and we both get what we want.”

“Ah don't much like the sound of that Flint, what if ya'll get busted? Ah don't think it would make a very good impression on a youngin if'n his daddy's locked up.”

With no argument in hand Flint sat pondering the request for a while. He knew that on one hand life wold be harder living on the farm, there'd be less money coming in and if it couldn't get more complicated he had a foal on the way. On the other hand, this is what he was used to, he'd grown accustomed to living a life of paranoia and criminal behavior. Despite his lifestyle he'd always tried to stay kind, honest and loyal no matter how hard it was.

“Ah tell ya what, you can keep makin' your hard cider, just gotta do it the legal way. By getting' a license, payin' the taxes and selling it under the Apple family name.”

There it was, the 'golden ticket' of sorts, the one idea that guaranteed a sway of opinion.

“Well hell, if I can keep up my cider business without gettin' busted then lets do it.” Flint grinned wide. Something inside of him had changed for the better, he was going to be a father, a better one than his own even if it killed him. Another thought crept into his mind at the moment. “Is it a colt or a filly?”

“Don't rightly know, Ah figure Twi could figure that out though.”

“Got names picked out?”

“No... Ah just found out today.” AJ looked away sheepishly, “But it's a pegasus.”

“Well slap my flank an call me a filly, that's great!”

“Ya reckon we should start workin' on names then?”

“I think we can save that for later.” Flint sighed contendtedly and whispered to himself “A pegasus foal...”

“Let's go see if Rainbow hasn't givin' Mac a stroke.”

Applejack got up and motioned for Flint to follow. He made it to the door and opened it. The second it was open and he peered outside he was greeted with an odd but somehow appropriate sight. There on the ground before him lay Big Macintosh, above him a rainbow pegasus pony wings spread to their fullest extent.

“Can ya taste the Rainbow Mac?”

~

'Come on Rainbow, just do it. You're a hot mare, and he only wants you!'

'Don't act on emotion, if she wants to do anything she'll do it.'

'No, he'll come around when he's ready.'

'Dangit Mac, you've never had a good mare in your life, and if you don't act on your love life now, when will you?'

'Just do it Rainbow!'

'Kiss her Mac!'

In a moment of lust and passion two hearts connected and two heads met with a resounding thump.

“OW! Dang Mac, you've got one hard head!”

“Ah'm sorry miss Dash, Ah don't know what got into me.”

“Shut up and kiss me you big lug.”

No more needed to be said as Big Macintosh leaned in for the first kiss of his life. A quick peck on the lips and nothing more. It wasn't enough for Rainbow, she tried to push Big Mac over, multiple times. Eventually he gave in and found himself pinned to the dirt with a hot and bothered mare above him grinning mischievously.

Letting passion take control once more, Rainbow leaned downward pressing her lips to those of her big red source of affection. Not a second later did the door to the shed behind them open. Big Macintosh broke the kiss and looked to the doorway to find Flint on the verge of laughter.

“Can ya taste the Rainbow Mac?”

Story Time

The events of the day had dwindled down into emotional embers of a once great fire. The romance between Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash had been smothered and relocated, leaving the moonshiner pegasus and farm pony to themselves.

“Ya know, ya’ll never did tell me how ya’ll got yer cutie mark.”

“Stud stamp, thank you. An I doubt you wanna hear that story, ain’t all that wonderful.” Flint stared intently at the night sky, Applejack by his side.

“I ain’t gonna judge ya’ll,” She said “It’s what ya’ll are good at.”

“Yeah, that’s true” he sighed “I guess ya’ll should know from the start, it took me a long time to get my cutie mark, and that day changed my life forever, and not in the good ways neither.”

Applejack lay silent, listening intently as her stallion began spinning his tale.

~

A young pegasus colt ran through the streets of cloudsdale, his fathers cowpony hat loosely atop his head obscuring his cerulean eyes from taller ponies. He was skinny and slightly taller than most his age, but he was also the latest bloomer having no cutie mark yet when everypony else did.

“Hey Spitfire!”

“Sup’ Flint?”

“Oh you know, just sayin’ hi to the prettiest filly in Cloudsdale.” He tipped his hat brim up and winked at his lifelong friend.

“Shut up, I’m not that pretty.” The young Spitfire blushed, despite being used to Flint’s Coltanova-esque antics.

“Yeah, an I must be Princess Celestia too, right?” He galloped up to Spitfire’s side and matched her pace toward the Flight Camp main building. “Face it Spits, you’re the coolest, fastest, prettiest pegasus around. Even that Rainbow-y filly got nothin’ on you.”

“You tell me this every day Flint,” she stated matter of factly “In fact, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you rehearsed all this to yourself in the mirror every night.” She teased

“Yeah yeah whatever. Anyway, I got that book we needed, should be about two weeks after we get everything set up. Graduation is gonna be a blast!”

“Hay yeah it is! But listen, just to stay safe, I don’t think we should let A-Dub know about this. I have a feeling he’ll rat on us an get us expelled,” Spitfire said through clenched teeth.

“I feel ya.” Ever since I hit him with that hoofball the day we met him, I’ve been trottin’ lightly around him.”

~

“Who’s ‘A-Dub’?” Applejack inquired.

“Old buddy of mine, well acquaintance is more like it. Back at Flight School, he transferred from Canterlot and ended up on our Hoofball team.” Flint sat up and readied a cigarette. “I’m sure you know Spitfire.” Applejack nodded and let him continue “Soarin too. Anyway, me an them two was the stars of our hoofball squad, undefeatable in our league.”

~

‘There goes number 85, Spitfire, down the south end of the cloud, ball in tow!’ A yellow streak streaked past two defenders, leaving many more in her wake. ‘Ooh! Blazed right through thirteen and thirty four, Fodder and Maple Block! She’s making her way down the field at unimaginable speeds! But what’s this? Number sixty seven, Firefly, is catching up!’ The yellow bolt chanced a look back, slowing slightly, she watched as the sky blue pegasus galloped hard toward her. The away crowd cheered as their soon-to-be heroine caught up to the fiery filly and put her down on the cloud bed.

“You’re one fast filly there Spitfire, but I’m faster,” The blue filly chided through her facemask.

Spitfire watched as the blue wonder turned and trotted back to her team, still lagging far behind. “Damn Spitfire, I bet if you didn’t look back, she’d-a never caught ya.”

“Sometimes we gotta play to win, isn’t that right Soarin?”

“Yeah buddy,” Soarin bragged, clad in his maroon and gold Cloudsdale Falcons jersey and helmet with the number fifty five printed on his back. “Let’s go all the way this time.”

“Be sure I get the ball this time.” Flint hissed, letting Spitfire and Soarin behind as he trotted off.

“So Spits, ya hear the news? We’re gonna be getting a new player, from Canterlot.”

“Oh some big city hotshot eh?” Spitfire giggled “I can’t wait to see him and Flint butting heads.”

“Yeah, that’ll be quite the show.”

~

“So ya’ll were a star hoofball player huh? Why’d ya quit?”

“Had to.”

“Why,” Applejack voiced her concern

“You’ll see.”

~

“Oi, Soarsie... ‘Mere.” The beige pegasus motioned for his blue buddy to follow, making sure nopony saw him heading toward the abandoned shack. “You got them sacks an jugs right?”

“Yeah, right here.” Soarin turned and showed the two sets of saddlebags to Flint. “You really think there’s that much in there?”

“An then some. C’mon, ‘fore anypony see’s us an starts to gettin’ snoopy.”

Flint trotted through the brush, making very little noise as opposed to Soarin who could have woken the dead with all the noise he made. Before Flint could chastise his friend for making such a racket, they neared the shack. He could faintly hear the small fire burning within, and knew his creation was ready.

“Alright, let’s go get these filled and split. Fast and efficient, ya hear?”

“Yeah, gotcha.”

With that, Flint broke through the brush and opened the door, motioning for Soarin to head inside first. When his partner got inside, he too went in, shutting the door quietly behind him.

“Dang Flint, this is gonna be the best homecoming dance yet! I’m not gonna drink before the game though.”

“I hear ya there. Throw a jug down in there an pull that lever. Once it’s full throw a cork on it an do your other three. Soon as your done, get the hay out of here.”

“Sounds good...”

~

“Wow, started out young huh?” Applejack looked impressed, not many ponies knew how to make alcohol while they were still in school.

“Yep, that wasn’t the night I got my mark though, that came later... Much later”.

~

“Shhhh, quiet! We don’t want nopony to know we’re in here!”

“Hey, I ca- *hic* I can be as loud as I want.”

“Dammit Spitty, you really gotta stop bein’ so pretty an such.”

“An you need to shut up and kiss me Flint.”

“Ya’ll can’t hold your alcohol all too well can ya?” Flint questioned, unsure of whether or not he should take advantage of the moment. “ You know as well as I do that if I get to kissin’ ya, it’ll lead to other things.”

“Exactly! Now get over here.” Without a moments hesitation, Spitfire wrapped a hoof around Flint’s neck and pulled him into a passionate embrace.

~

“Whoa whoa whoa! Hold up there!” Applejack interrupted. “Ya’ll really got down an dirty with Spitfire?!”

“Yup, an boy howdy was it good.” AJ glared at him, “‘Course, I was drunk, an so was she... Come to think of it, I ain’t never done nothin’ like that without my product bein’ involved somehow.” He began tapping a hoof to his chin in thought. “Why d’ya think that is?”

“Hate to break it to ya sugar cube, but Ah’m probably the only pony that’ll ever find you attractive.”

“Ouch...”

Author's Note

I hope this works for now. I started this chapter out around the time I joined PonyFall an never got to finishing it up. If it sucks, let me know, if not, cool. Either way, I hope this tides you guys over for a while.

The Plot Thickens

Author's Note

At long last! Another chapter of 'Business is Good'! I know it's been a hot minute, what with PonyFall and BCT in Benning and my schedule being tighter than a teenage schoolgirl in Montana. In any case, here it is for your reading pleasure. So, I'll keep working on my stuff when I can. Until we meet again.

-Cowboy Appledash

The Plot Thickens

‘Seems I chose to leave just in time’, Ascended Wings thought as he banked to the left of a small cloud. He had taken a quick glance behind him and noticed a large thunderhead rolling in toward Ponyville from the east, which would have delayed his plans for the night if he hadn’t left when he did. He reached into his saddlebag and pulled out a small piece of paper with the address of Ditzy Doo written on it in barely legible handwriting along with a note that said ‘Write me when you get to Cloudsdale’.

“Will do, Ditzy.” He said quietly as he stuffed the paper back into his bag and veered to the right of yet another small cloud. It wasn’t much but a small white speck began to form in the distance, this, he knew, was Cloudsdale in all it’s floating glory. It wasn’t until he got to the Wonderbolt Stadium that he encountered turbulence.

“Give me three damn good reasons why I, Ascended wings, Captain of the Cloudsdale Guard not gain an audience with Spitfire?” the pale blue pegasus demanded as he stood in front of the stadium entrance where a particularly bored looking stadium security pony barred his entrance.

“You need a season pass to come in after show hours along with written consent to visit,” the pony intoned. “So unless you can provide those two things, I’ll have to ask that you vacate the premises.”

*THUD*

“How’s that for proof of admission?” Ascended asked as he pushed the guard out of his path, neglecting the dent he left in the security pony’s helmet. “By the way, say goodbye to your job, you’ll be fired by the end of the day.”

He stepped over the moaning pegasus and proceeded through the open gateway where he was greeted by a large open expanse with specialized cloud platforms littered the field and an abundance of suited pegasi flew about.

“SPITFIRE!” He shouted as loud as he could. One of the pegasi stopped and turned to look in his direction. In mere seconds, the fiery pegasus flew toward him and landed silently in front of him.

“A-Dub? What are you doing here? How’d you get in?”

“First off, it’s Captain Wings. Second, I require your assistance. Thirdly, I thumped your ‘security’. Any more questions?” He asked with a crack of his neck.

“Yeah, why me?”

“Simple. You can get along better with a certain Mr. Easthoof better than I and as such, gain his trust.”

“I don’t like how this sounds,” Spitfire said skeptically. “Just what are you planning?”

“I’m planning on bringing a criminal to justice, does that work for you?”

A sort of fire ignited in Spitfire as these words reached her. “No. No it doesn’t,” she stated matter-of-factly making sure her words were laced with a bit of venom. “In fact, It’d be much appreciated if you took your ugly, treacherous flank out of here and never spoke to me again!” She finished with a huff.

Ascended was unfazed by her reaction and continued calmly. “Spitfire, if you recall item 24-G of the Equestrian Armed Forces Code of Conduct, then you should be well aware of the fact that I, as an Officer of the local precinct in which I hold the second highest authority over, may ask of the assistance of any and all members of said Armed Forces, to assist me in whatever matters desire my attention that also happen to fall under my jurisdiction. Now unless you were hoping to lose your position and be barred from the Wonderbolts as I achieved rank long before you did, I highly suggest you do as I say.” He smiled a bit as he ended his small monologue. “Do I make myself clear?”

Spitfire said nothing as she did her best to scare Ascended away with her best ‘I’m a bucking Drill Sergeant’ look... To no avail. She eventually gave in with a sigh. “Yes sir.”

“Splendid, now, lead me to your office so that we may discuss this in private.”

As they walked, Spitfire couldn't help but feel that she'd be betraying the trust of a very old friend, and in doing so, crush any hopes of reconciliation after the matter. After all, Flint was quick to distrust anypony if he caughte even the slightest hint of foul play. She knew that somehow, she would have to botch the plans of the azure Ascended trotting along smugly next to her.

~

"Ouch... Do ya really mean that? I mean, I can't be that not very prettyful..."

"Lemme put it this way, Ah can see past yer, oh now how do Ah put this... Yer rough exterior. Ah'm sure you understand what Ah mean." Applejack did her level best to reason with Flint, but it seemed her words had struck quite the note on him. "Ah know you've got some good in ya, and yer just as honest as me, brutally honest in fact, which is one reason why most ponies don't exactly like ya."

"Wow... So what you're sayin' is, I'm just an unlikeable pony." Flint cast a downward glance at his hoof as he pawed the dirt in thought. "So then what else got you? I know that my 'honesty' ain't exactly the kinda stuff that'd make a pony like you swoon, so there's gotta be somethin' else goin' on."

"Y'ant it hard or easy, sugarcube?" Applejack asked earnestly.

"Buck it, hit me with the hard stuff."

"Ya got pretty eyes." Applejack smirked, knowing a comment like that was sure to make him smile.

"Well, they've been known to seduce a few mares."

AJ's adopted a more stern look. "Don't kid yerself, buckaroo." Applejack smiled once again "Now, continue yer story on how you earned that there 'Stud Stamp'."

"With pleasure. Anywho, after canoodlin' with the fiery fox herself..."

~

The graduation went off without a hitch, for the most part. Some of the more rowdy young stallions had thought it a good idea to sneak into the school after hours and 'decorate' the principle's office with an amazingly colorful array of profanities scrawled on every available surface. Which then led to the arrests of five of Flints teammates who seemed smart enough not to rat out their resident redneck for the copious amounts of alcohol in their systems. Which was good, as that had kept Flint from behind bars and offered some other ponies to request his services, with payment of course. Soon enough, Flint had a decent moonshining set up going on. Every two weeks he would fly down to his shed and then back up to Cloudsdale to distribute his products in the middle of the night.

It may have made his life a little bit harder when he started attending the University of Central Equestria, located in Cloudsdale, but it didn't stop him from doing his work and performing for the Hoofball team. Up until the day the authorities caught wind of his operation and started snooping about. Flint had long since learned of their movements against him and had begun changing up his routine every delivery night along with when they happened.

The authorities were for the most part, utterly clueless, but every now and then they would get a hot tip pointing them down to the surface to specified locales that had been freshly abandoned. Their source of information was reliable, just not timely enough to help them catch the elusive bootlegger.

"Ah need to find out who keeps on snitchin' an fast," Flint growled as he lugged his still through the woods with the help of a big red farm pony he had met three weeks back.

"Eeyup," the big one replied monotonously.

"Just wish I had some way to find out who it is... Got any ideas?"

"Ah reckon it may be one of the last ponies y'all would expect to be doin' it. Best keep tabs on them flighty friends o' yers," the massive earth pony drawled through a sprig of wheat.

"Well, I know for certain it ain't Spitfire, she's too into me to be the one. Soarin, slight chance, but still plausible. Wingsy though..." Flint stopped dead in his tracks. "That's it! Mac yer a genius!"

"Eeyup." Wheat rolled from right to left.

"Just gotta catch him in the act an he's toast!" Flint clopped his hooves together to exaggerate his point. "Mac, you an me make very good business partners, I hope you realize that."

~

The nights had started growing cold as autumn wore on into winter. Finally, Flint had managed to tail Ascended Wings for a full three hours without losing him, and it seemed as if he'd reached his destination. A secluded park bench near the edge of the cloud bank. As he waited, he noted that it may be a while until the contact would arrive, Flint opted to take a swig from his flask and pack a dip in and settle down for his stakeout.

The wait wasn't as long as he'd anticipated, however, as just when he went to take another swig, he spotted another pony trotting up to the bench. He watched as Ascended Wings stood up to greet the pony and begin conversing. A few minutes and half a flask later, the other pony handed Ascended Wings an envelope then took off into the night.

"So they're paying him to snitch huh?" Flint murmured as quietly as he could. It didn't seem to work however, as he noticed AW had quickly turned his head and ears in Flints direction then quickly took off. "Oh no you don't!" With a stumbling leap, Flint tore off into the sky toward the fleeing blue pegasus. "You get on back here ya snivelin' coward!"

"Buck off!" Ascended shouted back from far ahead. Flint kicked up his speed and dashed onward toward his target. It was now a match of speed, one Flint was sure he would win. Then, before he could take another breath, three Cloudsdale Guards appeared in front of him and went to apprehend the slightly inebriated and irate Cowpony.

"Oh sh-" Flint couldn't finish his exclamation as a quick hoof tothe gut cut him off and sent him careening down to the cloud bank below. He managed to recover just in time to bounce off the surface and go about evading the guards. The chase went on for a good ten minutes until he had finally managed to lose them in the industrial district of Cloudsdale near the weather factory. It was then that he had noticed a quick flash erupt behind him. There, emblazoned on his flank sat a jug with three X's on it. Forever casting him as a distiller and smuggler of illegal alcoholic products. One that would get him kicked out of his parents house and the University the very next day.

~

"And that's how it all happened," Flint sighed, he didn't like being betrayed, and the fact that he had been betrayed by Ascended Wings so long ago still got to him even today.

"Well, Ah don' rightly know what to say. You had it comin', that's for sure, but yer friend up an doin' you in like that, well, it just ain't right."

"You're tellin' me. Since then, I've been running around keeping under the radar as best I can. Got a feeling somethin' bad is comin' though. So we gotta keep our eyes open for anything outta place."

"Ah don't like the sound o' that, but Ah'll do it for you Flint." Applejack offered an earnest smile. It was just enough to convince him that, no matter what, she'd be there for him and to help keep him out of trouble.

"Thanks AJ. Now, Howsabout we head on back to the house? I'm gettin' real tired an I figure it'd be nice to spend a sober night with you."