Two Hearths as One

by Candy Apples

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance
Length: 5062

Pinkie Pie and Applejack want to get married, but their families are so different. If their families can't get along, does it mean their relationship is doomed to fail? This story is based on the events of the episode "Hearthbreakers."

Pinkie Pie and Applejack want to get married, but their families are so different. If their families can't get along, does it mean their relationship is doomed to fail?

After Applejack and Pinkie Pie get engaged, their families decide to celebrate Hearth's Warming Eve as one big, happy family. But each family has their own traditions, and both Pinkie and AJ are too stubborn to compromise. When the incompatibility of their families ruins the holiday for everypony, it looks like it might be time to call the wedding off…

This story is based on the events of the episode "Hearthbreakers." Basically, it's how the events of that episode would play out in an alternate universe, which is exactly the same except Applejack and Pinkie Pie are absolutely NOT distant cousins in any possible way!

Image by LuckyShy on DeviantArt.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-20 03:06:27 UTC

Prologue

Two Hearths as One

by Candy Apples

Prologue

As Spike placed one last gift, with a bright yellow bow, onto the pile below the snow-frosted window, Twilight Sparkle looked around at the decorations she’d hung throughout the large hall.  She had to admit, she’d had fun getting the castle ready for the first Hearth’s Warming she’d spend in it.  The large hall sometimes felt cold and cavernous, but now there were swaths of fabric draped from the ceilings and hung with bows, and pine garlands were hung on the walls.  Rarity had designed the decorations for her, but Twilight and Spike had hung them all themselves.  Once they lit the fire in the hearth, the room would feel just as cozy as the Golden Oak Library used to be.

A strange rustling sound came from the fireplace.  Both pony and baby dragon turned to look at it, and then they exchanged a worried glance.  Suddenly Pinkie Pie’s head burst down from the chimney and she yelled, “Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve!”

Twilight laughed as Pinkie tumbled out of the chimney, covered in soot. Of course Pinkie Pie would come in through the unconventional route, even as her fiancée, Applejack, trotted in through the door like a normal pony.  Well, Twilight had read plenty of books that said opposites attract, and that certainly seemed to be the case when it came to Applejack and Pinkie Pie's relationship.

“Shucks, Twilight!” Applejack said, looking around.  “Y’all done it up nice and purdy in here.”

“We’re about to hang our Hearth’s Warming dolls,” Twilight told both of her friends.  “Do you want to join us?”  With her magic, she lifted the two cute button-eyed dolls that her mom had sewn, back when she was just a filly and Spike was barely hatched.

“Oh, that’s mighty kind of ya, but we’re just droppin’ in to wish y’all a happy Hearth’s Warmin’ before we ride off into the sunset.”  Twilight noticed now that Applejack was already wearing saddlebags that she’d packed for their trip.

As loving and tolerant as all ponies could be, both of their Earth pony families--the Apples and the Pies--were fairly stubborn and set in their own ways and traditions, so Twilight hadn't expected them to embrace Applejack’s and Pinkie Pie’s engagement.  Applejack and Pinkie Pie were so different, and their families had very little in common, either, besides both living on farms.  And yet, the Pies had invited the Apple family to visit for the holiday, and even old Granny Smith had agreed to go.  “I think it’s great that your families are spending the holiday together,” Twilight told them.

Pinkie Pie was obviously excited to bring all of her loved ones together, and introduce her future in-laws to her own family.  “It’s gonna be AWESOME!,” she said, draping a soot-covered foreleg over Twilight’s shoulders.  “It'll be stupendificular, times infinity!”  Her eyes gleamed, and she crossed the hall to where Applejack stood in three bounces.  “I can't wait!”  She squeezed Applejack in a tight hug.  Applejack gave Twilight a look over Pinkie's shoulder, as if to say, 'Yeah, you try to get Pinkie to stop showing excessive amounts of affection to someone she loves!'

A faint whistle sound could be heard from outside, as a train pulled in to the station nearby.  “We better move 'em out!” Applejack said.  “See you later, Twilight!”

As Pinkie Pie bounded after Applejack towards the door, Spike turned to Twilight and asked pleadingly, “Now can I open my present?”

Applejack turned around at the door.  “But it's Hearth’s Warmin' Eve,” she said.  “Everypony knows you don’t open gifts ‘til sunrise.  It's traditional.”

There was that Earth pony predilection for stubbornly following traditions and rules to the letter, Twilight thought, smiling to herself.  “On Spike's first Hearth’s Warming Eve,” she explained, “he couldn’t wait 'til morning to open his presents!” She thought fondly of how tiny he'd been then, and how he wouldn't let her get any sleep that night, either.  “So we opened our gifts to each the night before, and ever since, we’ve always exchanged gifts on Hearth's Warming Eve.”

“It’s kinda like we invented our own tradition!” Spike chimed in.

Even still, Applejack frowned.  “That’s not how the Apple family does it, and I reckon it can’t be how the Pie family does it, either.  Is it, sugarcube?”

“No sirreebob!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Twilight shrugged.  “To each their own.”

The train whistle blew again, and Pinkie Pie leaped at the sound.  “Gotta go!  Toodles!”

As they bolted out the door, Twilight hoped that the couple’s first holiday as one big family would be full of joy.  Twilight had been so happy when they had announced their engagement, and couldn’t wait for the wedding.  She thought about the two large families all together, and briefly wondered how they’d get along.  Well, both families worked very hard on their respective farms, so there were probably some things they had in common.

Then she turned to Spike, happy to have a moment with just the two of them—their own little family—to experience their own traditions.  The next day, the castle would be opened and full of guests from all over Equestria—which she thought would become one of her new traditions, as the princess of Friendship.

Spike couldn’t wait any longer, and reached towards the present Twilight had set aside on the hearth earlier.  Twilight helped him get it down, and he tore at the paper.

Spike looked at the gift and sighed.  “A book… what a surprise.”

Twilight grinned, pleased at herself for finding the treatise on historical dragon migrations for Spike.  She was sure he would find it fascinating!

Part One: Introductions

Two Hearths as One

by Candy Apples

Part One: Introductions

Pinkie Pie thought Applejack looked cute wearing her saddlebags.  Of course, she thought AJ always looked cute, but the green bags really brought out the green in her eyes.  Pinkie noticed, as they walked from Friendship Castle to the train station, that those eyes looked worried.

"Sugarcube," Applejack finally said.  "Won't this be the first Hearth's Warmin' you spend with your family, since you moved to Ponyville?"

"That's right," Pinkie said.  "There are always so many parties in Ponyville this time of year!  And Sugarcube Corner gets so many orders!"  She was grateful that Mr. and Mrs. Cake had insisted she take some time off.  Mrs. Cake had nearly teared up while reminiscing about back when they had been first engaged, and their families had gotten together and made wedding plans.  "This will be such a happy time for you," she had told Pinkie, "so take the whole week off!"

"And last year we put on the play in Canterlot," Applejack said.  Pinkie Pie remembered how adorable AJ had looked in her Smart Cookie costume, and smiled.  "But, honeybuns," Applejack continued, "don't you think there's another reason you don't usually go home?"

Pinkie Pie slowed down, and cocked her head toward Applejack.  "What do you mean?"

"You once told me that life on the rock farm was 'no talkin', no smilin'--nothin' but rocks,'" AJ continued.  "Do you think maybe you've been... avoiding going home for the holidays?"

"But I love my family, Applejack," Pinkie said.

"I'm not sayin' that you don't," AJ told her.  "I'm just saying..."  she sighed.  "Well, I'm not really sure how to put it inta words."

Pinkie Pie felt, somewhere deep inside, that maybe this was one of those times where Applejack needed her to say something serious instead of silly.  But she wasn't exactly sure what words she would use, either, so instead she said, "C'mon, cupcake!  Your family's already on the platform.  We don't want to miss the train!"

“Candy crystal Windigos!” the pony pushing the snack cart down the center aisle of the train called out.  “Gingerbread ponies!  One bit apiece.”

Apple Bloom bolted out of her seat and ran over to drool over the colorful, sugary treats on the cart.  Applejack wondered if her little sister would have any pocket money left by the time they got to the rock farm.

Across from her, Granny Smith was snoozing next to her older brother, Big McIntosh.  Pinkie Pie was on the seat next to her, and they sat close, touching hooves.  Despite the occasional apprehension Applejack had about Pinkie's relationship with the rest of the Pie family, she was still incredibly happy to get to spend time with them.  And she was excited that her whole family was coming along to get to know them, too.  “It’s gonna be a hoot gettin’ both our families together under one roof!” she said.

“Apples and Pies,” Pinkie said.  “It’ll be like… apple pie!  Who'd have thought those two things would go together?!”  Her eyes widened with amazement, an expression that Applejack always found endearing

Apple Bloom trotted back to their seats.  “Have you tried the crepes shaped like the Equestria flag?” she asked with her mouth full.  “The fillin’ is blueberry!”  Applejack felt she could have guessed that, judging by the blueberry smeared over her sister's face.  Apple Bloom snuck a glance at the snoring Granny Smith, and lowered her voice, even as she crammed more candy crystals into her mouth.  “Don’t tell Granny I peeked, but her suitcase is full of presents!”

“Now hang on, sugar,” Applejack said, putting on her best older-sister voice.  “You know Hearth’s Warmin’ isn’t only about sweets and presents, right?”

Apple Bloom swallowed her mouthful.  “Uh-oh.  That sounds like you’re gonna start lecturin’.”

“’Fraid so!” Applejack said.  She couldn’t let this teachable moment pass by, so she cleared her throat to begin a history lecture.  “Way back when, Earth ponies, Pegasus ponies, and Unicorn ponies didn’t get along.”

Pinkie Pie grabbed cookie versions of the three types of ponies from Apple Bloom’s haul from the snack cart, and used them as puppets to illustrate AJ’s point.  “I don’t like you!” she made the unicorn pony say.  She held up the Pegasus pony and said in a different voice, “And I don’t like you!”

Applejack smiled at Pinkie, grateful for the element of fun that she was adding to her story.  That was one of the things Applejack knew she could always count on her partner for.  “But then, the evil Windigos came, and they almost iced up everythin’,” she continued.  Pinkie added a candy crystal Windigo to her puppet show.  Applejack continued, “So all three types of ponies decided to work together.  Their cooperation drove them nasty critters away.”

In her squeaky Pegasus voice, Pinkie said, “Scram, Windigos!” Then she ceremoniously disposed of the icy spirit-creature by chomping its head off.

“They raised a new flag to celebrate the coming together of all three tribes, and that’s how Equestria was made.”  Pinkie held up an Equestria flag crepe.  Applejack turned toward Apple Bloom, ready to drive home the moral of the story.  Then she was distracted by a crunching noise, and she looked at Pinkie’s puppet display.  The ponies were still there, but the flag crepe had disappeared.  “Uh… where’d the flag go?”

“I don’t know,” Pinkie Pie said, but her voice was muffled by the blueberry filling in her mouth.

“Is that why we always have a flag raisin’ on the mornin’ of Hearth’s Warmin’?” Apple Bloom asked her sister.

“Mm-hmm!  And tonight, we’ll have the traditional supper to remember the shared bounties of our ancestors.”

“We do that, too!” Pinkie Pie said.  She looked like she’d never even considered that other families might have the same traditions as hers.

“Then we’ll hang our Hearth’s Warmin’ dolls—one for each of us—over the fireplace.  That’s to remind us of the warmth shared on that fateful night.”

“That’s what the Pies do, too!!” Pinkie said, getting even more excited.

“And tomorrow, we’ll exchange presents!”  Applejack added.

Pinkie was so excited that she leaped out of her seat.  “That’s also what we do!!!”

Applejack chuckled.  “Sounds like the Apples and the Pies have all the same traditions,” she said affectionately.  And if so, Applejack thought, then she'd have nothing to worry about, after all.  This Hearth's Warmin' would be just as joyful as all of the ones she'd celebrated with her own family at Sweet Apple Acres.

When they got off the train, Pinkie was still so excited!  She bounced alongside the Apples on the train platform as they made sure they had all of their luggage with them.  She was so happy, she felt like she could stand up on the rooftops and shout about how happy she was and how much she loved Applejack!

Pinkie thought that Applejack had seemed to perk up on the train ride, so she'd assumed that AJ had forgotten about her worries.  But something must still have been nagging at her, because Applejack pulled Pinkie away from her family so that only she could hear her.  “What if… our families don’t get along?”

Pinkie Pie didn't think there was anything to worry about.  “We love each other, Applejack,” Pinkie said confidently, “and after tonight, our families are gonna love each other, too.  Everypony will love everypony else.”  She paused, and then said, all in a rush, “Do you know what that means?  There will be so much love that our hearts will fill up and then we’ll explode and they’ll have to come and pick up all our pieces and try to stick them back together except they’ll mix them up and you and me will be like one pony and we’ll have just one heart squished together and we’ll always be together and never can be apart!”  She paused for a breath, and then added, “That might make the wedding a little awkward, though.”  Her point, Pinkie knew, was that this Hearth’s Warming was going to be as awesome as any of the most stupendously spectacular parties Pinkie had ever thrown!

A gray pony with heavy eyelids came around the corner of the station.  “Maud!” Pinkie squealed, bounding over to hug her sister.

Maud Pie didn’t react to Pinkie’s hug.  “Congratulations on your engagement, Pinkie Pie,” she said without inflection.  “You too, Applejack.  I hope you had fun skiing yesterday.”

AJ looked taken aback.  “How’d you know I went skiing?”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Maud asked.  “There are specks of extrusive basalt in your mane.”  When Applejack still didn’t seem to get it, Maud sighed, “It’s a rock.  The only place you can find it around Ponyville is in the mountains.”

“She’s good,” Granny Smith said, impressed.

Pinkie thought that introducing their families was going well already.  “How’s school?” she asked her sister.  Maud had recently started studying for her degree in rock science.  Studying, shmudying, Pinkie thought, but she was proud of her big sister nonetheless.

“If you thought quartz had a symmetrical crystallization pattern, wait ‘til I tell you about garnet.”  There was still no inflection in her voice, but Pinkie, who was very highly attuned to these things, thought she could hear just a hint of excitement.

And when someone she loved was happy, that made Pinkie Pie happy.  “It’s so good to see you!” she said, giving her sister another hug.

As they crested the ridge, Applejack saw the farmhouse and rock-silo, both lit up with strands of twinkling lights against the early twilight.  This was her first view of the home Pinkie had grown up in.  She felt her worries start to slip away again, as she saw the bright, welcoming windows nestled against the snow.  “It’s as purdy as a picture!” she said.

“C’mon, everypony!” Pinkie said, beginning to bounce down the hill.  “Meet my splenderiferous, wonderifical, super-fabulous, and just plain awesome family!”  The rest of the Pie family came out of the front door as they approached the house.  “Everypony,” Pinkie said, indicating the Apples, “meet everypony!”  She gestured towards the Pies, who had arranged themselves in a row in front of the farm house.  Maud went over to join them.

Applejack had briefly met Pinkie’s parents, who she already thought of as Ma and Pa Pie, before, but of Pinkie’s three sisters, she’d only interacted with Maud.  She smiled shyly at Limestone Pie and Marble Pie.  The colors of their coats and manes were just as dull and muted as Maud, Pa, and Ma Pie.  Applejack wondered, not for the first time, how the bright and bubbly Pinkie she loved so much could have come from this rock-farming family.

Pa Pie, wearing a dull black hat, approached the matriarch of the Apple family.  “Good morrow to thee, Granny Smith.  Thou shalt know me as Igneous Rock Pie, son of Feldspar Granite Pie.”

His wife, her mane pulled back in a no-nonsense bun, trotted up to stand next to him.  “Prithee call me Cloudy Quartz.”

Igneous added, “May thou comfort our humble homestead bring.”

Applejack held her breath as she watched this first meeting between Granny and her future in-laws.  She felt her heart drop as Granny grimaced and said, “Y’all’s got some real funny-like words.”  AJ wasn’t sure that Granny Smith would take to the Pies.  But then Granny smiled and said, “What didja say them thar’ names were?  I’m just gonna call you Iggy,” she said, pointing a hoof at Igneous Rock Pie.  “And you,” she squinted at Cloudy Quartz, “Big Mama Q!”

The Pies glanced at each other, eyebrows raised, but then they looked back at Granny and smiled welcomingly.  Applejack let out her breath.  It seemed like the ice was broken, and Granny and Pinkie's parents would get along just fine.

The Pies then turned to Applejack.  "Welcome," Ma Pie said to her.  Applejack smiled at her future mother-in-law.

Suddenly, Limestone Pie trotted forward and gave all of the Apples a fierce, scowling look.  “I keep things running on this farm, so you better make sure you follow my rules," she said.  "Rule One: Nopony enters the mine without permission.  Rule Two—”

“Okay, Ms. Crabby Pants!” Pinkie interjected, ruffling her sister’s mane.  “Nopony’s gonna mess with your mining operations!”

Limestone tried her best to continue to look fierce, even with frizzled flyaways framing her face.  She was not very successful.  “Or Holder’s Boulder!” she said, gesturing towards a huge rock, as tall as six ponies, that stood on the edge of the cliff that dropped down to the quarry.

Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes.  “Nopony touch Holder’s Boulder.  Happy now, Limestone?”

Limestone continued to try to scowl.  To divert everypony's attention elsewhere, Applejack turned toward the final member of the Pie family, who was standing back behind everypony else, with part of her mane covering half of her face.  “And you must be—” she started to say.

“This is Marble Pie, my baby sister who was born only a few minutes after me but she’ll always be a widdle biddy baby to me, isn’t that right?” Pinkie said in a rush, grabbing Marble’s face and pinching her cheeks.  Marble looked mortified.  “She’s so excited to meet everypony!” Pinkie continued.  “Oh, and she wants to wish you all a happy Hearth’s Warming!”

Everypony looked at Marble and she blushed, her face turning almost as pink as Pinkie’s.  Finally she said quietly, “Mm-hmm.”

Applejack wondered if growing up, Pinkie Pie always did the talkin’ for her.  Then she wondered if the Pies would show her photo albums of Pinkie as a filly.  She hoped so--Pinkie Pie had probably been pretty cute when she was young!

Pinkie bounded up to the top of the huge rock, and gave a sharp whistle.

“What’d I say about Holder’s Boulder?” Limestone grumbled, though gently.

Pinkie Pie ignored her.  “Everypony get settled in!  You all have bunks in the guestroom upstairs.  And then it’s time for Hearth’s Warming Eve dinner!”  This announcement was accompanied by an explosion of Pinkie’s signature confetti.  Applejack smiled, glad that the introductions were over.  Ma and Pa Pie looked relaxed, and Limestone had stopped scowling.  Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were smiling.  Big Mac hung behind them shyly, but he also looked content.  Everypony seemed to be in a good mood.

“So far, so good!”  she whispered to Pinkie as they followed their families into the farm house.

Part Two: Rock Soup, Rock Dolls

Two Hearths as One

by Candy Apples

Part Two: Rock Soup, Rock Dolls

Applejack shared a guest room with Granny Smith, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom.  Two bunk beds were set up for them.  Applejack would have preferred to share a bed with Pinkie Pie, but Pinkie had told her before coming that her parents wouldn’t approve of it ‘til they were married.

As they were unpacking their saddlebags, Applejack felt that she'd been silly to worry.  The introductions had gone well.  Her family was settling in, and the Pies had been welcoming.  (Okay, so Limestone Pie was cranky, but she knew from Pinkie Pie's stories that that was just the way she was most of the time.)  And Pinkie Pie seemed to be having a great time so far.  Maybe it hadn't been awesome, growing up on a rock farm, but Pinkie's family really did love her.  How could she not have happy memories of past Hearth's Warming's celebrated here?

Plus, there was the feast to look forward to!

Apple Bloom climbed up to one of the top bunks.  “I can’t wait to eat fresh sweet rolls at supper!” She bounced up and down on the bed, testing out its springiness.  “They’re my favorite Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve dish.”

Granny paused in emptying her trunk to say, “I’m more of a seven-layer bean dip filly myself!”

“That’s delicious, too!  Applejack, do you think their sweet rolls’ll be even tastier than ours?”

“When it comes to Granny’s sweet rolls, those are some mighty big britches to fill,” she said, “but it wouldn’t surprise me in the least."  Yes, she definitely was looking forward to the feast.  "Y’know what a good baker Pinkie Pie is," she added.  "I reckon it runs in the family!”

“Are you excited to eat?  Because guess who is?!”

“You?” Applejack asked.

Pinkie Pie was shocked.  “How’d you get it in one guess?”

Entering the dining room, Pinkie grinned at the sight of the rest of her family gathered around the large table, soup tureen in the center.  It was just like she remembered from when she was a filly, except for the additional bowls set out for the Apples.

She sat down next to Maud and lifted the lid to the soup tureen as Applejack settled herself next to her on the austere wooden bench.  The rest of the Apples sat at the bench on the other side of the table.  Pinkie Pie served AJ first, ladling soup into her bowl.

Applejack looked down at her bowl, which contained a gray lump surrounded by a thin, olive-green liquid.  Pinkie Pie grinned broadly at her.  She couldn’t wait for AJ to taste it!  She loved living in Ponyville, but you sure couldn’t find good rock soup there.  Just think, AJ had probably never tried rock soup in her whole life!  She was excited to introduce all of her future in-laws to this dish from her childhood, too.

To Pinkie’s puzzlement, Applejack’s face seemed to fall.  “This… is it?” she asked.  “What about sweet rolls?  And corn puddin’?” she asked.

Pinkie’s grin started to fade.

“And where’s the seven-layer bean dip?” Granny Smith asked.

Pinkie looked around the table.  Apple Bloom and Big Mac were also frowning at their soup.  The Pies were staring at the Apples.

“There’s rock soup,” Maud said.

Pinkie Pie felt a bubbling feeling starting in her chest; maybe it was panic.  “To-may-to, to-mah-to!” she said, much more confidently than she felt.  “Corn pudding, rock soup… Dinner is dinner!  Am I right, or am I right?”  She looked around the table again, hoping that the tension would break.

To her relief, AJ seemed to compose herself.  “Yeah, um, Pinkie’s right,” she said.  Pinkie Pie felt Applejack shift beside her, and she was pretty sure she’d just kicked Apple Bloom under the table.  “Rock soup!  Just what we were hoping for!  Right, everypony?”  She gave a forced, pleading grin across the table to the rest of her family.

Granny Smith and Big Mac grunted noncommittally.  Apple Bloom just looked at AJ with her mouth open, shocked that her older sister, who represented the element of honesty, could be telling such a blatant lie.

Pinkie Pie looked at Applejack gratefully, as the Pies seemed to accept Applejack’s statement and began eating their soup.  Pinkie felt a twinge of disappointment that AJ had seemed to be expecting something else from this dinner—but Pinkie never let twinges get in the way of her appetite.  She slurped her soup noisily.

Setting her empty bowl down on the table, she looked at AJ.  She hadn’t seemed to have touched hers yet.  “You feeling okay, Applejack?” Pinkie asked.

AJ gave an awkward laugh.  “’Course I am,” she said.  “I’m just being a pokey li’l puppy.”  She seemed to brace herself, and then slurped from her bowl.  She nearly gagged, but swallowed, and then gave a weak grin.

Pinkie looked at her sisters.  Marble looked concerned.  Limestone was sneering.  And Maud… well, Maud’s face was as unreadable as ever.

“More soup, please!” Pinkie said brightly.  She was determined that this weekend would be a success.  And if the Apples were just picking at their rock soup, well, she’d just have to eat thirds and fourths herself so her Ma wouldn’t feel offended that it wasn’t getting eaten.

As Ma ladled more soup into Pinkie's bowl, Pinkie thought that both families looked like they needed some encouragement.  “Eat up, because Hearth’s Warming dolls are next!” she said.

“Now that’s somethin’ well within my ken,” AJ said, with visible relief.

“Time for Hearth’s Warming dolls!” Pinkie exclaimed.

Applejack stared incredulously at the rock that Pinkie was holding up.  This was all wrong.  They should be gathered in the living room with a roaring fire in the grate, not standing around outside in the cold.  She looked around the quarry.  Marble Pie and Limestone Pie had already started chipping at their rocks with their picks.  Ma Pie, Pa Pie, and Maud were examining their rocks from different angles, as if to figure out where to start.  Granny, Big Mac, and Apple Bloom had each been presented with their own rocks and picks, and they looked confused.

After the rock soup, this was almost too much, but she looked back at Pinkie Pie, whose soft curls were framing her smiling face, and knew she had to make an effort.  “Are you sayin’… that rock is a Hearth’s Warmin’ doll?”

“Don’t be a silly goose, you silly goose!” Pinkie said.  Well, that’s good, Applejack thought, though she still didn’t understand what they were doing out here.  Pinkie set down the rock, and then, with just one carefully-placed tap with her pick, split the rock apart.  Small fragments tumbled away, and, in the center, there was what looked like a tiny pony statue carved from the piece of rock.

“This is a Hearth’s Warmin’ doll!” Pinkie said.  “Isn’t that right, Marble Pie?”

Marble looked up from her own crude mini-statue, and blushed when she realized that Pinkie and all of the Apples were looking at her.  “Mm-hmm,” she said, without removing the pick from her mouth.

Applejack saw that all of the Pies were now chipping away at their rocks.  Granny Smith bravely lifted her pick and tried to strike her rock.  It simply rolled over.

“Our dolls are… rocks?” Apple Bloom said dubiously.

Big Mac also tried to strike his rock, but he only succeeded in breaking the handle of his pick.

Applejack didn’t want to let Pinkie down, so she lifted her own pick and tried to strike the rock as Pinkie had done.  “I dunno,” she said.  She felt sad that Pinkie Pie had never experienced the joy of holding a soft doll that your great-great-great-great-grandmother had made, feeling all of the love that had been instilled in it over the many years of Hearth's Warming's past it had been a part of.  “I think I prefer traditional crocheted dolls that’ve been passed down for generations.”

Pinkie came over and peered at AJ’s lumpy piece of rock.  “Aww, you’re just Grumpy McGrumperson because you got a funny-shaped rock,” she said.  Applejack looked down at the lump, and wasn’t sure that it looked any funnier than any of the “dolls” the Pies were sculpting.  How sad, to only have these cold, hard stones instead, each and every year.

“Cheer up!” Pinkie told her, putting a foreleg around Applejack.  “I’m sure you’ll do great at Find-the-Flag!”

Applejack did not find this cheering.  In fact, she felt even more disheartened.  “The whosit whatsit now?”

Pinkie Pie stood in front of Holder’s Boulder and made sure everypony’s eyes were on her.  Okay, so dinner had been less than super-mega-spectacular.  And it turned out that even Granny Smith, who Pinkie had been fairly positive was an expert at absolutely every subject, didn’t know the first thing about sculpting rock dolls.  But Pinkie was determined to show her future in-laws a good time at the Pie Family Homestead.  A little friendly competition was just the thing to cheer Applejack up.  Pinkie knew that Granny, Big Mac, and especially Apple Bloom all shared AJ’s competitive spirit.

“Limestone Pie, you’ll be the referee,” Pinkie said.  She headbutted Marble towards Big Mac.  “Big Mac, Marble Pie, you’re Team One!” she told them.  Both ponies looked at each other, and then looked shyly away.  They really had a lot in common with each other, Pinkie thought.

“Apple Bloom and Maud, you’re Team B!” Pinkie continued.  Apple Bloom and Maud already knew each other, so they’d be fine.  This was a chance for them to get to know each other better.  Pinkie was starting to feel fairly confident that this was going to work.

“Ma, Pa,” she said to her parents, “you’re gonna be on a team with Granny Smith.”  She considered the three older ponies.  “You can be Team Gray.”

Then she trotted over to AJ and nuzzled her.  “And of course, me and Applejack are a team.”

AJ didn’t return Pinkie’s nuzzle.  Nor did she seem to be as happy as Pinkie had hoped.  “So now that the teams’re settled, mind lettin’ us in on what we’re doin’?” Applejack asked.

Pinkie trotted up to the top of the boulder to announce the rules.  “As everypony knows—”

“Get off Holder’s Boulder!” Limestone Pie yelled.

Pinkie rolled her eyes, but she hopped down nonetheless.  “It’s tradition to raise a flag on Hearth’s Warming to celebrate the three tribes uniting to form Equestria.”

Pinkie saw nods from both Apples and Pies.  She was thrilled to see the families finally agreeing on something.  She continued, “But who gets to put the flag on Holder’s Boulder?”

“You mean on the flagpole?” Applejack asked.

Pinkie Pie laughed.  AJ could be so ridiculous sometimes!  That was part of why she loved her.  “No, silly goose,” she said. “It goes on the highest point!  So who’s the lucky pony?”

Applejack started to object again.  Pinkie was starting to get frustrated.  She’d been sure that the Find-the-Flag game would cheer AJ up, but so far, Applejack seemed to be objecting to it as strongly as she had to rock soup and rock dolls.  “Traditionally, the youngest pony—” Applejack began, but Pinkie Pie cut her off.

“Ready, get set, GO!” she shouted.  Better get this competition underway so that Applejack could start having fun and stop being such a grumpypants.  Pinkie Pie hated seeing Applejack in a bad mood, and never failed to do everything in her power to try and cheer her up.

“Pinkie Pie, will you please inform us what’s goin’ on?” Applejack asked, failing to hide the note of irritation in her voice.

“I’ll fill you in on the way!” Pinkie said cajolingly.  This was not going according to plan.  Desperately, she pulled AJ along the path down towards the mine, while the other teams also began to disperse.