The Conversion Bureau: Convict

by Da Bunnana King

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Original Character
Length: 1625

Ponies in convict land... how horrifying.

Like most convicted felons from London, Daniel Wickerham is sent of to a convict colony in Australia to mine for gold and coal. But he drew the shortest stick and wound up helping at the local Conversion Bureau for the rest of his four year sentence. So how will he fend for himself in this ever changing world? Only time will tell, for he is in for a wild ride.

Published 2012-06-11 19:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-11 19:14:01 UTC

Chapter One: Off the boat

The Conversion Bureau: Convict
By Da Bunnana King

Chapter One:Off the boat

The young man sat in the leaky boat that was bound for the new land. He was blue eyed, strong blond hair and a fair complexion and his clothes were black and white. He would've loved to wear anything else but sadly that's what most convicts wear when they are being shipped off to a new land called ‘Australia’.

“LAND HO!” cried a man from the deck of the ship.

‘Well this is it, a new life on a god forsaken island in the middle of nowhere. What cruel man would sentence someone to work in a god forsaken land?! Well I did burn down an orphanage.’ I thought to myself as I stroked my beard which made my shackles chink.

“Hey mate do you know what’s going to happen to us?” one convict whispered to another,

“I think we’re going to be digging for coal and making living better for the colonist that work there,” the other one whispered back.

“You’re both idiots. They're going to make us dig for gold so that her royal majesty gets richer while we die of starvation.” a different voice said,

“Well I hope we see the last of ‘em ponies... they fucking creep me out.” the first one said,

“Whatcha do? Burn down one of those centers where they scoop out your brain and put it in a pony?” the third one joked.

“No, I burned down two of those centers and robbed a bank to get fuel, to burn down a third.”

“Lightweight!” I yelled, “I burn down an orphanarium with ponies and small kids in ‘em.”

“Ha! You’re all woman compared to me!” a new voice yelled out, “I stormed one of those bureaus and stole their potion thing and poured it in the towns well, and everyone turned into ponies.”

“YOU LOT SHUT UP! WE’RE GOING TO HIT LAND SOON AND THERE YOU’LL BE GIVEN YOUR JOBS!” the ships warden bellowed at us.

I stood there in the massive blob of people that were being attacked by the unforgiving sun on the red stained dirt of Australia. The dirt beneath my feet felt warm and really... dirty. I had only ever played with the dirt in the very outskirts of London, while I stole wallets from the rich to fund my obsession of playing with fire.

“And now the convicts in division three will be working to excavate the coal, and division four will help maintain the colony.” the fat man on the podium said,

‘Why haven’t they mentioned division five yet?’ I questioned myself,

“Those in division five will help run the local Conversion Bureau, now you all have your order so get to it or you shall receive ten whips from the cat o nine tails.”

‘Shit, I am division five... I don’t want to work at some place where I scoop out people's brains. It’s hard work getting the blood stains of my clothes.’ I thought to myself as I began to walk into the small town that had a very large building nearby the docks... it was none other than a Conversion Bureau, the place where I will be forced to work for the rest of my jail sentence.

I pushed through the large pair of wooden double doors into a decent sized waiting room that had wooden chairs, tables and a few potted plants to make the room feel less drab. There was a man in a blue pair of pants and a white cotton shirt. He looked up at me wondering what this strange convict wanted.

"So you’re one of the new convict workers sent here to make my life easier? Well let me get you a proper pair of work cloths and the head of the bureau to meet you here to explain your job." he said in a depressed monotone voice.

I sat down on one of the wooden chairs that lined the walls and waited as I could hear the faint clippity clop noise of hooves hitting the wooden floor.

"Hello there. I’m Water Shimmer and I’m the head of this bureau. I hear you’re going to be one of our new lab technicians.” said the cyan unicorn with a dark blue mane that extended its hoof for me to shake.

“I guess so.” I said shrugging as I towered over the small horse when I stood up to shaking its hoof.

“Alrighty then, well let me find the forms for you to fill out and I’ll give you the grand tour of the place.” she said as she held a small piece of paper attached to a hard piece of wood in her mouth. I took it out her mouth which had a small stain of saliva, but when I looked over the sheet there words on it... and I couldn’t read thanks to never being taught while I lived on the streets.

“Ummm... I can’t read.” I said as I hung my head low in shame,

“Oh well then, let me help you then.” she said, as she sat opposite side of the table and picked up a pen with her magic... wait MAGIC?!

“Uuuuuu... how are you doing that witchcraft?” I asked as pure fear coursed through me as I wished I was in the mines digging for gold.

“Oh this is just my magic, all unicorns can do it.” she said reassuring me as I began to calm down.

“O... okay, well how do I fill this thing out?” I asked intensively eying the paper with the english looking letters on it. Some of them I knew like, name and age but the rest I didn’t have a clue.

“Well what is your name?” she asked as she put pen to paper,

“Daniel Wickerham.”

“And do you know your age?”

“I think I'm 20 something.”

“I’ll put you down as twenty, but the last important one is do you agree to serve the Princesses and help in the operation of this bureau?”

“Well I don’t have a choice so yes.” I said rubbing the back of my neck.

“Alright then let me take you to your work post where you should be able to help Doc Holiday and Sky Dancer with the first conversion of day.” she said as I followed her through a pair of swing double doors.

“So Mr. Norman could you please remove your garments so we can begin the-.” said a deep baritone voice, as we entered the room to see two men both deeply tanned by the hot Australian sun and a orange pony with a pink mane and a tattoo of a... well it looked like a stick with a red ribbon coming off it that curled around the stick.

“Oh I didn’t know convicts could be converted.” said the man with a thick black mustache, all he wore were his one piece underwear.

“Oh hush you,” said the doctor in his white suit with the sleeves rolled up, “So I guess this is my new technician Water?”

“Yes, and just in time to learn the skills of the trade.” Water replied,

“Well it’s quite simple really, all you do is take the potion off the shelf,” he said as he reached for a veil off a shelf filled with purple beer, “Fill this cup up to the line and give it to the newfoal.”

“What's a newfoal?” I asked, as the man on the granite table had removed the clothes and waiting to recive the potion.

“It’s what we call the people that get turned into ponies. Now remember Mr. Norman to drink every single drop.” he said as the man did as he was told and passed out.

“DEAR GOD YOU KILLED THE MAN!” I screamed as the stories were true and they were going to eat his brain.

“No we haven’t he is just knocked out otherwise the change from human to pony would be more painful than a dip in a scalding lake of water and look.” Holiday said pointing to the changing man.

His fingers began to retract into his hand and his skin turned all gooey. I watched in terror and awe as a short fur began to form on his skin of black, and a small tail with an equally dark blue color. As his face began to shrink but also his jaw and nose began to extend to make a muzzle and his ears began to pop out of his head and become more pointed as they moved to the top of his skull. He no longer had skin or finger but a shiny black coat with hooves. He no longer was a man but a small black and blue pony with a horn sticking out of his head.

“In all that is good what in God’s name did I just witness?” I said, as I began to back up to a wall.

“That is the process of ponification my good friend, and you’ll be seeing quite a lot of in your four year contract here.” said the doctor checking the reflexes of the pony on the table by snapping his fingers near his ear to see if his ears would track the sound.

“Well you might want to take a seat Daniel because it’s going to be one hell of a ride.” said Sky Dancer as she put the clothes into a basket.

“Why did I have to burn down that orphanage?” I questioned myself as I took a seat on the wooden chair near the corner of the room.

Author’s note: I wrote an Author's note, what Uganda do about it? #YOLO