Fun With Derpy

by Rainbow Chaser

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Random, Derpy Hooves, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 8392

Ever since you moved to Ponyville, you've had a bit of a crush on the mailmare. After a while, you muster up the courage to do something about it.

After a long day of thinking and weighing over the outcomes, you've finally decided that now was a good time to ask your crush out, after a little show this morning she makes the decision to do so, a lot easier. Who might it be you ask? Well Derpy Hooves of course!

(Warning: contains sex, a bit of attempted bondage, butt sniffing/ rimming, self sucking, and all around derpy cuteness.)

Published 2016-02-20 01:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-08-24 07:33:31 UTC

Here goes nothing....

Author's Note

This is probably the only clopfic I write and there will be more chapters along the way. I might write more stories if you guys like this sort of thing. Just keep in mind there will be a lot more clop in the next chapter. (Or at least I'll try to have more) also, this is a short chapter but the next one I work on, will be a bit longer.

Here goes nothing....

It's a beautiful day in Ponyville... Birds chirping, bees buzzing, and every pony trotting around town going about their business for the morning. You sigh as you look out your window, eating breakfast and sipping orange juice. It's been almost a month since you've moved to Ponyville from Manehattan and you're still not used to the country lifestyle yet. However, it's not all that bad, on your first day here you were greeted with a nice song and a welcome party hosted by the residential party planner Pinkie Pie, which was very nice indeed even if her confetti cannon shot cake batter all over you. You chuckle at the thought just as a knock comes from the door.

"Just a minute!" You yell from the other side of the door. As you make your way to the door and open it up only to be greeted by her... The mail mare of Ponyville: Derpy Hooves.

"Oh g-good m-m-morning Derpy...." You stammer as you stare at her with lustful eyes. Sure she's not the best looking mare in Ponyville, but she has a cute bubbly charm that goes well with her look. One other thing that you like about her are those eyes. They're crossed in their usual way, but something about them just makes you fall in love.

"Morning Anon!" She says, snapping you back to reality. "I brought your mail, and you got a package!" She turns and bends down reaching into her mailbag and as she does, your eyes widen. As she is bent over, you get a good view of her mare hood and plot. You get a good look at her body when she's not looking, being a mail mare, she gets a good amount of exercise keeping her flank nice and toned combine that with a diet of muffins, and her flank is perfect with a bit of jiggle to her rear end. The more you stare, the more you realize your stallionhood is starting to harden. After a minute of this, she turns around and gives you your package and letters.

"Here ya go anon! Do you have anything you need sent?" She asks with that beautiful voice of hers. Yeah... I got a package for you personally... you think to yourself. "Uh.... N-no.... I think I'm all set." You smile nervously. As she turns to fly away, you stop her. "Uh Derpy?..." You start to ask. She turns to you, her mane whipping you in the face, but you didn't care. "Yes Anon? What is it? Do I have muffin crumbs in my mane again?" She asks shaking her mane from side to side.

"Uh no.... I.... You see..." You begin as you try to find the words. As you do she's staring down at your still hard member, and she's blushing. Dammit.... She's seen it. Well here goes nothing.... "Uh.... You want to have dinner tonight?"

She looks up at you with a huge blush. "My place... Tonight..." Then she turns around and flies off. As she does you couldn't help but notice her move her tail aside giving you another grand view of her lovely marebits. This time... She did it on purpose.

As the day went on you couldn't get your mind off of what you saw this morning. It makes you hard everytime you picture it, and the more you imagine it, the more you can't help but wonder what it feels like. Imagining her sweet smell filling your nose with a natural high as you give her the ride of her life, fucking her like no tomorrow while she screams your name with that beautiful voice of hers, tongue hanging out as she drools, her mind lost as she rides your cock.

Your mind wanders further and next thing you know, you're standing in the middle of the floor clopping yourself. You take your hoof away and blush as you look around at the windows to see if any pony was watching you. When you lived in Manehattan with your parents, masturbation was always a big risk. Sure you've clopped dozens of times but you've been caught enough to realize it's a big risk if any pony were home or just so happened to be flying by. In Manehattan, you never had this issue. Pegasus flight traffic was kept at 30 feet above the ground and your parent's apartment was on the top floor. So the only way you'd get caught, was either if you did it in public, or if your mom happened to be home early and was doing laundry.

Now that you live on your own, it was easier to get away with it. But in a town with no skyscrapers or air traffic limits, it's hard to clop and go unnoticed unless you lock your door and close the curtains. Especially in such a friendly town where every pony knows your name after the first day. Looking down, you notice you still have a huge erection poking out, with a bit of pre still leaking from the tip of your 14 inch member. Not as big as most stallions in Ponyville, and certainly not as big as that red stallion from the apple farm just down the road.

After a few moments it becomes too much and you make your way to the Windows shutting each curtain and locking the front door. Now you can finally take care of yourself in peace. Laying on your back you move your hoof down and start gently stroking your shaft, all while getting lost in your fantasy from earlier. Picturing Derpy and all her equine curvaceous glory, with her perfectly soft toned flank, and dripping mare hood, imagining how warm it would feel around your cock. Picturing her bouncing up and down looking you in the eyes with her beautiful face as you both get lost in an act of pleasure.

As your stroking quickens you start to imagine more fantasies about her. One in particular where she is tied up with her rump held high in the air just begging you to come and have a taste. "Hnnh.... D-Derpy.... You're so h-hot" you start to moan as you feel yourself getting closer and closer to release. After a few moments your hips jerk upward as you start to cum, the first thick rope flying over you and landing right behind your head, the second spurt of cum squirts out and hits your face and chest, after a few moments of orgasmic bliss you start to loosen up, your hoof dropping away from your cock as it starts to soften.

"Th...that was.... Amazing...." You said to yourself almost imaging that the mailmare herself were actually in the room. You start to stand and begin cleaning up the mess you've made, and upon doing so, you can't help but feel like some pony was watching you at that very moment. As you look to the window you could have sworn you saw somepony on the other side of the curtain, but when you opened it and unlocked the door, no pony was there.

Realizing you're still covered in cum from your mastabatory fantasy, you jump in the shower, again, thinking about that cute little mailmare. All while imagining what she has planned for you tonight...

A little help?...

Author's Note

I might make one more chapter or an epilogue for this story. It's hard trying to write stuff on the fly. But I hope you guys enjoy it.

A little help?...

As the sun sets, you keep going over the scenario in your head over and over again. Tonight, after eyeing after her, and after that little show she gave you today, you were going to ask Derpy to be your mare friend. After talking with some of the stallions about who they'd been with, who they want to be with, and so on... You remember that conversation perfectly... You and a bunch of stallions in a bar sipping back cider, swapping stories. A few of em you'd recognized purely by reputation.

"Well ah'd have to say, my best lay, was mah sister's best friend fluttershy.... However if ah were to pick any mare in Ponyville, it would be that miss cheerilee from the schoolhouse. She can teach me a lesson any day...." As you look up you see who was talking. A large and rather muscular stallion: the farmer from Sweet Apple Acres. A few of the other stallions chuckled, yourself included. "Well golly Big Mac! Ah thought you always said AJ-" Just then the larger pony hoofed the other one, a smaller pony with a blonde coat and orange mane wearing a cowboy hat and vest. No doubt another Apple farmer.

"Braeburn ah told you once and ah'll tell ya again! Nothing happened between me an AJ. That was a rumor made up by Rainbow Dash as a crude prank." The red stallion replied. "Well sorry cuz... Ah didn't mean nothin by it." The younger one responded. As you sip your cider another stallion pipes up.

"I'll tell you who my best lay was. It used to be spitfire, but recently I started seeing one of the reserve members from the academy, Rainbow Dash. By celestia that mare will make you feel good a million times over in ten seconds flat!" Exclaimed the stallion. "Right is that because y'all can only last so long Soarin?" The older stallion said chuckling. You couldn't help but almost spit out your cider laughing at this response. Also looking over in surprise to see that it was very much indeed the same Soarin from the wonderbolts. "No it's not like that! Anyways... I guess if I were to pick any other mare out there, I'd probably pick princess Twilight. Wouldn't mind really teaching her how to use those wings." He said with a smirk. Just then the older stallion from before, Big Mac looked over and sees you looking in his direction.

"What about you city boy? Y'all got a story to share?" You realize he's talking to you and after a few moments you trot over to their table, and sit down. "Well I guess the best lay I've ever had was my girlfriend back in Manehattan before we broke up. She was real sweet but always too wrapped up in her dress making and costume designing. We only had sex once." As you tell your story you remember how you both felt, she was a virgin and so were you. You chuckle thinking about how hard it was to line yourself up the first time and wound up missing and cumming all over her. She was really pissed because you messed up her favorite skirt. "I guess if I were to pick any mare here in Ponyville, I'd probably go with that cute mailmare.... Derpy." The others stare at you in confusion.

"Out of all the mares in Ponyville let alone equestria. You'd choose Derpy Hooves? What's the point? She's not as hot as rarity or twilight, and don't even get me started on the eyes..." Soarin said. You think for a moment, then smile. "Yes... Yes I would choose her. There's something about her that makes me happy... I think I'm in love with her..." The others laughed at this response which leaves you a bit red in the face. But you take a deep breath. "I can't explain my feelings. They're just there." You respond. Then Big Mac takes a good look at you. "Well have ya told her yet?" You start to blush. "N-no I haven't..."

So now here you are, you have made a decision. With a bouquet of daisies in hoof, you make your way to Derpy's house. But as you reach her front door, you start to get nervous. What if she says no?... What if this is all a joke to her like some kind of game?... No. You've put it off for far too long. It's time to saddle up and grow a set. You take a deep breath and knock on the door. After a few minutes a voice is heard from inside.

"Come in!" You open the door and your jaw drops. There, right in front of you in the middle of the living room, is Derpy, all tied up, Rump in the air presented to you. "Oh anon! I've been expecting you! Please come in and close the door." She stares at you with a cute but lustful gaze knowing exactly what you want, and seeing just what she wants as your cock springs fourth to full hardness the closer you get to her.

"Derpy did.... Did you do all this for me?...." You say as you get close, eyeing the prize she has presented to you. You get a closer look and you can already feel yourself dripping pre as you get a good whiff of her wet pussy which, to your surprise smells just like blueberries. Well blueberry muffins to be exact. You get another whiff and she giggles, feeling your hot breath on her folds.

"Well... Don't just stand there, have a taste." She says with a voice that sounds bubbly and sexy at the same time. You happily oblige, and start licking her mare hood and plothole with delight. The taste of her juices, much like her scent, reminds you of blueberry muffins, and it only makes you want more. As you continue to lick, she lets out cute little squeaks and moans, and next thing you know you're caught off guard as you feel a sudden warmth envelope your shaft as she starts sucking on your cock. This sends you into a frenzy which causes you to bury your muzzle in her pussy as far as you can and lap up more of her feminine juices.

Feeling yourself come close, you pull away after a moment to compose yourself. By this time, she's become untied and is now on all fours, raising her ass in the air wiggling it at you. "Little help?..." She says staring back at you. You immediately mount her and line yourself up. "Ready?" You ask so as not to surprise her. "Mhhn! Just put it in me! Mount me! Fuck me! Fuck me until I can't walk!"

Hearing this, you immediately thrust into her leaving yourself completely hilted for a moment. Her wings immediately go stiff and her tongue hangs out of her mouth, her face twisted up in an expression of euphoric pleasure. You hold it a bit longer savoring the warmth and wetness of her pussy wrapped around your cock. After a few minutes of this, you start thrusting in and out of her, squeezing her flanks as she starts to moan. After all of your fantasies, all of your clopping sessions dreaming about this.... It's finally happening. It's real. Here you are, fucking the mare of your dreams and this is a dream come true.

After ten minutes, she pulls away and puts you on your back. "Sorry anon... But after hours, all deliveries must be made in the rear...." As she says this she straddles you and positions your cock right against her plothole. When she's done teasing you feel yourself enter her, feeling tighter than before, but still just as pleasurable. She looks right at you as she rides your cock, those beautiful, cute crossed eyes locked with yours, and she bends down to kiss you for a good five minutes before pulling away.

"I've been waiting for this all day. I couldn't stop thinking about you... Haah... And your big cock... I even came back to see you again when I saw you in your living room." When she said this you completely lost it. You thrust hard into her unloading your seed right into her anal passage. As you do this she screams out and squirts her feminine juices all over, moaning loudly in an orgasmic high.

Once you both come down from your orgasms, she gets up, your softening member sliding out of her with an audible pop, as your seed spills out of her in a steady stream. "Were you really thinking about me today?" She asks as she starts to clean your cock. "Hnnh.... Y-yeah.... And the day before that, and the day before th-that..." You say in between moans. At this point, you don't care if she knows. You decide to make your move. "D-Derpy.... I... I've fallen in love with you.... Ever since the first day I met you." She looks up at you with sparkling eyes. "R-really?...." You nod.

"Yes really.... Ever since I moved to Ponyville I've admired you from a far... I've always dreamed about this... Often. And now I finally have my chance.... Derpy Hooves, I am madly in love with you and I want you to be my mare friend." You say proudly. At this she looks at you and tears come to her eyes. "N-no pony has ever wanted me to be their mare friend... They've always looked at me like I was messed up in the head..." When she says this you feel real bad for her. "I don't think that... I think you're the most wonderful mare I've ever met." She kisses you for another five minutes then pulls away. "Yes... I'd love to be your mare friend."

You lay your head back smiling in delight as she cuddles up to you cutely, slowly falling asleep. And as your eyes start to drift off, you realize you can finally say, you have finally lived your fantasy...

You really love me this way?...

Author's Note

Well, I've received a some very positive feedback from you guys. Thank you very much. I was nervous about writing and posting this because I don't normally write anything let alone clopfics. But I'm glad you enjoy it even if it's a little fast paced.

You really love me this way?...

It's been a few days since that fateful night at Derpy's house. You finally got the mare of your dreams, and nothing could get any better. Just as you were about to hop in the shower, you hear a knock at the door.

"Coming!" You yell, as you trot downstairs. Wondering who it could be, you answer the door only to be greeted by a very sad looking Derpy. Her mane looks messy and her eyes look red and pussy almost as if she's been crying. "Derpy?... What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"Anon... I..." She starts to speak before more tears come to her eyes. "I don't know if we can be together anymore..." Hearing this, you feel your heart sink. Tears start to form in your eyes but you wipe them away before you start to lose it.

"B-but... But I thought.... We were perfect together.... Wh....why are you breaking up with me?..." You ask as more tears form. You were prepared for anything to happen today. Stampede, plunder vines, even another ridiculous bug bear attack. But you weren't prepared for this.

"Anon it's not you... You're perfect in every way. You make me so happy... But.... It's me. I'm not good enough." She explains. "I'm a klutz at everything I do, I'm not as pretty as the other mares in Ponyville, I can't even deliver mail to the right addresses... Truth is, they fired me at the post office but they felt so bad they let me keep the mail bag and give me fake boxes and letters to mail to ponies." This answers why some of your letters were blank or the "packages" you've received were empty. "I can't do anything right... I'd just weigh you down." You put a hoof up to her chin and tilt her head up to look at you.

"Derpy... I fell in love with you not for your looks, not for your brains, but for your personality. You're bubbly and sweet and a bit misunderstood. It doesn't matter to me what you can and can't do. What matters is that you're you, I'm me, and at the end of the day no matter what you look like, I'll still love you." As you say this more tears come to her eyes as a smile forms on her cute little face.

"Y-you really love me like this?... You're not ashamed?..." She asks coming closer. "No matter what you'll still love me?" You look at her and kiss her on the cheek.

"Of course I will. No matter what..." You say, reaching in to kiss her again, this time on the lips.

She looks at you wiping her tears away. "I love you too anon...So what were you doing?" You step aside and invite her in.

"I was about to get in the shower. I like to relax with a nice hot shower after a long day." Then she asked what you... And your hardening member were hoping she'd ask.

"Mind if I join you? I reeeeeally wanna show you how much I love you." She looks at you with her lustful gaze and immediately you're at full hardness. You take her hoof and lead her to the bathroom, both of you climbing in the shower as the warm water rains down on Derpy, getting her mane all wet and dripping. She looks at you and gives you a cute smile. "Would you mind washing my back?" She asks turning to you. As she does, she moves her tail aside giving you yet, another show. You want to just mount her then and there, which is what she might expect, but you decide to tease her a bit.

"I'd be happy to sweetheart." You say as you grab a bottle of sweet smelling shampoo and slowly pour some of the cold liquid over her back. As you do she jumps, her wings springing out with arousal, knocking down your shower curtain.

"Whoops! My bad! I'll fix it for yo- haaah! Ohhhhhh~" just as she was apologizing, you take her by surprise by sliding your whole length into her pussy, making her shiver with delight as you lather her back up with soap. "A-anon... That feels sooooo good~" You start to slowly thrust into her as the both of you start to get all slippery and soapy.

"Oh sweet celestia I love you so much Derpy!~" You say between thrusts. Just then, you stop thrusting to rinse her off, savoring the feeling of her pussy squeezing down on your cock, making you shiver. Just at that moment, you remembered something that will push her over the edge. Thinking back to your younger days you remember your first clopping session, seeing a video of two Pegasus mares making love. Half way through one of the mares start nibbling her partner's wings, and within moments, her partner, (and you in your room) had the wildest orgasm you've ever seen, causing her to squirt all over the other mare.

"Derpy I have a surprise for you." You smirk and lean forward toward one of her erect wings.

"I love surprises! What is it? Muffins? A ballo- AAAHHH!!! OHHHHHHH~" just then, you gently bit down on her wing causing shockwave after shockwave of pleasure through out her body, causing her pussy to go into overdrive, eager to milk your cock dry. As you nibble on her wings, you start thrusting hard into her. Feeling yourself coming very close, you continue thrusting, throwing your head back with your tongue hanging out, a bit of drool coming from your mouth.

"Derpy I'm gonna... I'm gonn-" just as you speak she slams her hips back hard, pushing you over the edge.

"Do it anon! Fill me with your hot seed! Glaze my muffins!" You ignore her muffin pun as you start to cum hard, spurting load after load of your seed right into her pussy. After a few minutes you turn the water off, the both of you dripping wet and breathing heavily.

"B-best... Sex... Ever..." You both say as you nuzzle each other. As you dry off you see her start to yawn. As she does you can't help but smirk knowing that you're the reason she's tired. In a good way of course.

"Hey sweetheart? Did you want to stay the night? I'd hate to have you fly home if you're tired." She smiles at you as she walks by, kissing you on the cheek and playfully swatting your ass with her tail.

"I'd love to. Thank you anon..." She trots into the bedroom and you follow right behind, the both of you laying down to get a goodnights sleep. As you drift off to sleep, you smile as you hold your mare. Knowing that this was only the beginning...

Muffin butt lovin!

Author's Note

This chapter might be a bit different than the previous ones. Be warned: this will contain some butt sniffing, and bondage. So if either of these things aren't for you, steer away. And while you're at it, go check out my other story. :raritystarry:

Muffin butt lovin!

The next morning, you wake up to a great amount of pleasure in your groin. You try to ignore it to go back to sleep, but it becomes too much and your eyes fly open only to be greeted by a sexy gray ass hovering just inches above your face. You look down to see Derpy slowly suckling on your cock. "H-honey what are.... Y-you doahh... Doing?" You ask between moans. She looked back and smiled.

"Morning anon... I read somewhere that the most romantic way for a mare to wake up her lover, was to give them a blowjob. So that's what I'm doing..." You reach your head up to return the favor, only for her to pull her ass away from you.

"No no no anon.... I don't want you to lick it yet... I want you to sniff it." She said grinning.

"You want me to what?" You know exactly what she asked. But you never thought of her being that kinky. Sure she tied herself up, but that's the only thing she's done so far.

"I want you to smell my dirty little plothole and pussy until I tell you to stop." Just then, you feel a bit of tightness wrapped around your balls. "Oh and you're not allowed to cum until I say so." Just then, you try to move but can't. Looking around, you see that she's tied you to the bed. You don't want to admit it, but this is kind of hot. You've had several fantasies of your nose planted right between Derpy's supple ass cheeks taking in her scent after a long hot day of delivering mail.

"If you do what your told, I'll let you cum. Okay?..." You nod as she lowers her ass down onto your face. "Now sniff..." She said as she slowly starts to jerk you off.

You do as you're told and start sniffing. You can distinctly smell her faint blueberry scent, paired with the slightly sour scent of ass sweat and the faint smell of shit and as you sniff, you come to the conclusion that she must fart in her sleep. Normally you probably would have gagged. But there was something that was turning you on about smelling a mare's ass. But not just any mare's ass. Derpy's ass.

You would have found this weird if it were anyone else, but because it's Derpy, you are in heaven. Just then, she lifted her ass away giggling.
"You like sniffing my dirty ass don't you?" She asks, still jerking your cock. You can't help but nod.

"I hate to admit it sweetheart, but yeah I do. This is fucking hot. Derpy where did you learn to do this?" You can't help but ask.

"I learned a few things here and there. I also learned to be a bit more assertive thanks to some self help books. When a stallion shows his cock, show him that you rock! Now lick me clean!" With that, she lowered her ass down again and started sucking on your cock. As she does, you start licking her pussy, then her ass. The taste, surprisingly was still sweeter than the smell. Knowing this, you go to town on her butt, inserting your tongue into her tight ring, and begin to tongue fuck her anus, savoring her sweetly bitter juices.

After a few minutes of this, she releases the binding on your balls and turns around to face you.

"Special delivery big boy~" as she says this, she rises up, and slams her ass down hard on your cock, hilting your shaft all the way in her warm velvety walls. You let your tongue hang out as she starts riding your cock like no tomorrow.

"Hnnh that's right Derpy... Take my cock! Take it you beautiful mare you!" You moan as she grinds against you.

"Anon you're so big! Fuck me like our lives depended on it!" She said as she unties your front hooves. "Spank me! Spank my muffin booty!"

You do as you're told and start smacking her ass hard. With each smack you give, her pussy clenches on your cock as she furiously humps you. "Anon I'm so close! Cum in me! Do it!" She moans and nips at your neck.

Just then you give her ass one last smack and it becomes too much. She tenses up and screams as a powerful orgasm overtakes her, squirting love juices all over you. The pleasure becomes too much for you to handle and you start to cum, blowing your load deep in her pussy.

After a few minutes, you both come back to reality and she looks at you and giggles. "Anon did you really like sniffing my butt so much?" You nod.

"I'll be honest Derpy... I wasn't too keen on it, and it caught me by surprise, but I loved it. I love sniffing your ass. It turns me on." You answer truthfully. She kisses you on the cheek and nuzzles you.

"You can have this ass anytime you want, anytime of day." She says smiling. She looks up at the clock, and bolts out of bed. "Oh no! I'm late for my mail route!" Then kisses you on the cheek and flies out the door. "Bye anon! I'll see you tonight!"

As you hear her leave, you get out of bed and make your way to the bathroom for a shower. But something catches your eye. You trot over to the counter next to the sink, and your jaw drops. Sitting on the counter, was a pregnancy test. It was opened up and looked like it had been used. As you look closer, your eyes widen. It reads positive.

Dandelion hunting.... (And self sucking)

Author's Note

I'm glad you guys really like my story. I never thought I'd actually write a clopfic that was actually enjoyable. That being said, I'll start taking requests at some point down the line.

Dandelion hunting.... (And self sucking)

You have been thinking about this all day. How is it that she didn't tell me? you wonder to yourself as you go about your day. She's pregnant for Celestia's sake! She'd rather wake you up with a blowjob than tell you? But why? you can't help but feel happy and guilty at the same time. Happy because you're going to be a father, but guilty because you didn't expect it to happen so soon.

You decide to cook her a wonderful meal tonight, so you make your way to the market, looking around at all the stalls. Then it hits you... What does she even like to eat? Other than muffins, you don't even know what she likes. So you decide to wing it, and prepare a meal of cooked veggies, and a dandelion salad. For dessert, home made apple fritters, just like your mother used to make you back in Manehattan.

A half hour later, you've gotten everything to make the perfect dinner. The only thing you're missing are the dandelions. Wild dandelions tend to grow outside Ponyville in the field near the river. Wild dandelions are also better tasting and much more rare. Which would make for a perfect salad. As you make your way to the fields, you start to think about this morning again. Derpy was full of surprises from time to time, but tying you up, and making you smell her rear end? That was something you wouldn't have expected even from pinkie pie, the mare who pretty much defines both kinky and party in the same sentence.

But that scent... there was something about it that drove you wild. Sure you've had fantasies, and you've even seen a few pictures of mares farting and pooping, usually on another tied up stallion or mare, but this was different. You've experienced it first hoof. Feeling her soft supple cheeks press down on your face while you smell her musky blueberry scent mixed with... Other scents. You kind of wish she was here to let you smell her again. As you think about it more, you start to feel your shaft start to harden. The breeze of this beautiful day just feels wonderful.

You decide to take a break before looking for the dandelions to relieve yourself. Setting your saddlebags down and sitting by the river, you take a quick look around. No pony was in sight, so you decide to try something new. You've used this technique before, but never in public. Normally you can do this standing, giving how flexible you are, but you decide to find a rock to prop yourself up. Once you do, you lay on your back with your hind legs in the air, your throbbing cock smacking you in the face as you bend your hips down. Being flexible and having an exceptionally long cock made this all the less difficult.

You blush as you feel your own hot breath on your tip as it starts to slowly leak precum onto your snout. You then take your cock into your mouth and begin sucking, the feeling of being sucked off and doing the sucking drives your senses wild. You start thrusting into your own mouth, wondering what Derpy would think if she saw you doing this. You start to fantasize about her walking in or even flying by to discover you sucking on your own cock. You can picture her watching with a euphoric smile on her face as her hoof slowly and steadily rubs her wet, dripping mare hood, moaning as she does.

Then you imagine something even more kinky. In your fantasy, as you suck your cock, she slowly saunters over to you, and she starts to lick your anus, as she does, you start to shiver, imagining the feeling of her warm tongue on your tight flesh ring, after a few minutes of rimming you, she bends down to suck on your balls.

While you continue to suck, you massage your anus with your hoof, shuddering as you gag on your shaft. Thats right Derpy... Massage my asshole you dirty slut. Suck on my huge balls... in your fantasy, you look up to see her standing over you with her hoof massaging her pussy as she continues to suck on your nutsack. After a few minutes of this, she tenses up and squirts her juices all over your face, moaning as she does.

Finally, you're yanked back to reality as you start cumming into your own mouth, shooting rope after rope of sweet, salty cum down your throat. You savor every drop of your own nectar and sigh happily letting your softening member release from your mouth with an audible 'pop'. You're not gay, but you really love to suck yourself off from time to time when clopping tends to get boring. There's just something about the feeling of having your own cock in your mouth that makes pleasuring yourself feel much better.

You stand up and stretch, looking around once more. As you look up you notice Derpy flying overhead. As she does you duck behind the rock so you don't get spotted. Did she see me? How long was she up there? you wonder to yourself as she flies by. Guess she didn't see me after all. you look around to see that the coast is clear. Then your eyes light up. Right by the river, yellow as Celestia's sun, sat a patch of dandelions. You make your way over and pick as much as you can, placing them in your saddlebags. On your way back to your house you can't help but smile. Today really was a good day, and it's only going to get better.

You walk up the path to the house and stop. Listening behind the door, you hear somepony inside. It sounded like someone was hurt. You open the door, and your saddle bags, and jaw both drop. Derpy was in your living room propped against the couch, laying on her back, and licking her own pussy. You close the door behind you and she stops, scrambling to get to her hooves.

"Oh anon you're home! I was just..." She starts to say, but she immediately looks down and sees your hardening cock and smirks. "Happy to see me?"

You nod and blush, as you stand there slowly massaging your cock with your hoof. She trots over to you and kisses you on the lips. "I saw you in the field today..." As she says this you blush.

"Y-y-you did?" You stutter, she trots behind you and puts her hoof on your flank, rubbing very close to your plothole.

"Oh yeah... Just watching you go to town on yourself like that, sucking on your own cock like no tomorrow..." She moves her hoof down and massages your balls. "I was so horny I landed on a nearby cloud and just started hoofing myself while watching. Rubbing my clit and licking my juices while you sucked yourself off... You're such a naughty stallion.~"

Then, she circles around to your front and raises her plot to you. "Go ahead big boy... Fuck me and help me get off. That's what I was trying to do before you came home. Go on anon.... Rut me like the dirty slut I am!"

You happily oblige and mount her, thrusting yourself in all the way. You hold yourself there and let your tongue hang out as her pussy pulsates around your cock, slowly and steadily milking it for every ounce of seed that you have. After a minute of this you start thrusting in and out as she starts moaning, she grabs something from her bag and holds it up. As you continue to fuck her you see that it's a big dildo shaped like a stallion's cock, she takes the whole thing in her mouth to get it all lubed up before giving it to you.

"Stick it in my ass! I want both holes filled!" She said moaning. You take the dildo and plunge it deep into her ass while continuing to fuck her pussy. "That's right! Just like that! Mmmm fuck me harder!" She screams out and bucks back into you.

Soon, Derpy screams out and tenses up as her juices coat your cock and balls just as you start cumming hard. Finally, you both release from your lovemaking embrace and kiss as your seed slowly leaks from her folds. "That was amazing.... So- aahhh!" Just as she speaks, her body is rocked by a second orgasm as the dildo slowly slithers from her anus, falling with a 'pop' and landing on the floor. "A-amazing..." She picks up the dildo and licks it clean before putting it away.

You gather up your bags and bring them in the kitchen, putting your groceries away for tonight. "Derpy we need to talk about something. But not now. I'm making dinner toni-" as you walk back in, you find Derpy asleep on the couch. You chuckle and kiss her cheek. "Until tonight my love..."

You place a blanket over her and trot right into the kitchen to start cooking. As you do, you remember the pregnancy test. Hopefully, you can get the answers you're looking for.

The Question

Author's Note

This chapter is going to be a bit serious. It's based my relationship in real life. (Just this chapter not the whole story.) Also, I'm really sorry to keep everyone waiting on this story. I've just been super busy with both of my jobs and I've had bad writers block. But I'm back, and slowly getting back into it.

The Question

As you finish cooking and setting the table, you can't stop thinking about this morning. 'I really need to get an answer from her. Is she deliberately trying to avoid telling me?' The more you thought about it, the tighter the knot in your stomach became. Why can't she just tell the truth? Why was she distracting you with sex? 'Maybe she thinks I'll freak out?' You thought. Just then you hear her start to wake up in the living room. 'Dinner can wait. I need to know now.' You thought as you make your way into the living room.

Derpy yawned and stretched her self out before sitting up. "Hey cutie... something smells good." She said looking at you seductively. You avoid her gaze and clear your throat. She looks curious. "Anon?... Are you okay?" You look at her and sigh.

"Derpy... are you pregnant?" Her eyes widened in shock as she looked away. "Um.... uh.... I'm hungry!" She said trying to change the subject. "Is dinner ready?" She asked. You step closer to her.

"Answer the question derpy. Are you pregnant?" You ask once more. She stands up and looks at you again with the same seductive eyes.

"Hey cutie, why don't you and I have a little fun?" She said. After she speaks you snap. "DERPY THIS IS SERIOUS! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME!" You yell. She is completely caught off guard by your yelling. Like a deer caught in the headlights of a passing carriage, she freezes up. She doesn't say anything, and she doesn't look at you.

"Well?! I'm waiting!" You yelled once more. This time, she starts to get tears in her eyes and she runs out the door. This wasn't what you were expecting to happen at all. You had just yelled at your marefriend causing her to run away crying. "Derpy wait come back!" You yell as you chase after her. She stops and turns around, both sadness and anger in her eyes.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" she yelled before running away again. You sat there, speechless. She screamed at you. The mare who never got angry, actually got angry.

You sigh as you make your way back home. When you walk through the door, you immediately make your way to the kitchen to start packing up all of the food you had cooked. "Well, guess I have leftovers for the week..." you say to yourself. As you go up to the bathroom to turn on the shower, your mind keeps thinking of derpy.

Only this time, instead of sexual fantasies, it was thoughts of sadness as well as images of her yelling at you. Now, you shower alone, you eat alone, and you sleep alone....

The next day, you wake up and immediately go outside waiting for derpy to deliver the mail as usual. Ten minutes go by, then twenty minutes, thirty minutes.... Finally an hour later, the mail pony finally arrives. Only this time it wasn't the beautiful mailmare you fell in love. Instead, it was a stallion he had never seen before. "Uh are you a. nonymous?" The stallion asked.

"Yes, although I just go by anon.... Um where's derpy? She delivers the mail for this route." You explained. The stallion thinks for a moment.

"Oh yeah Derpy Whooves. Yeah she called in sick today. Also said something about changing routes. I'm the new mail carrier for this route now. Anyway here's your mail." He said handing you your mail. 'Atleast it's the right mail this time' you thought. However it just wasn't the same.

"Thanks, have a good day I guess..." you said sadly as you went back into your house. You sat on the couch and stared at the floor for a while. It was the spot where derpy had fallen asleep before you cooked dinner last night. After an hour, you stand. "I have to talk to her..."

After stopping to get the most expensive flowers from the shop, as well as a fresh batch of blueberry muffins from sugar cube corner, you make your way to derpy's house.

As you walk up the front path to the door, you start to get nervous. 'What if she doesn't love me anymore....' you shake your head free of that thought as you knock on the door.

After a few minutes, derpy opens the door. She looked horrible. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her mane was a mess. "What do you want..." she doesn't look you in the eye.

You clear your throat. "Derpy listen... I'm sorry I yelled at you last night. I.... Im just tired of the games. I'm tired of beating around the bush. I want to... No I need to know. Are you really pregnant?" You ask.

Derpy starts to tear up again. "Y-yes.... I'm pregnant.... but there's something I never told you." She said. "I.... I can't get pregnant."

You look at her in confusion. "So you're pregnant but.... not pregnant?" She shakes her head.

"No anon. I am pregnant... but I shouldn't be." She said. "Because of my condition, I'm mentally incapable of having children... the only reason that I still have dinky, is because a social worker checks up on her monthly. Other than that, the doctors told me that having more than one child as a single mother would stress me out, making my condition worse." She explained. "I didn't tell you because I was scared. I was scared about what was going to happen if anypony else found out."

After hearing that, you pull her into a tight embrace. "Derpy you aren't a single mother.... because I'm here. I love you deeply and I'll never leave you. I'm ready to be a father. I'm ready to have a child." You say before kissing her deeply. After you pull away she smiles and sniffles.

"Do you really mean that?..." she asked. You nodded, smiling as a tear formed in your eye. "I do... I promise."

After a few minutes of silence, she sniffs the air. "I-is that?..." she starts to ask. You cut her off by pulling the box out of your saddle bag.

"Yep, blueberry muffins." You said smirking. She squees and hugs you tight. "MUFFINS!" She said excitedly.

You couldn't help but chuckle as she invites you inside to enjoy the delicious baked goods. 'This is the one....' you thought. 'The one I want to spend the rest of my life with.'

Epilogue

One year later.....

You wake up to the sound of giggling on the floor beside your bed. As you wake up and stretch, you can see a little lump below. You smirk and speak out loud. “Oh I hope somepony doesn’t try to scare me today....” just then the lump pops up to give a cute little roar. It was a baby filly with a blonde mane and white coat staring up at you with crossed eyes. Eyes like her mother’s. You pretend to be scared and play along.

“Oh no! A vicious monster has come to eat me! Somepony help me!” You lift up the filly and tickle her causing her to giggle. “I’ll have to defeat you with my tickle power!”

You hear Derpy call up from downstairs. “Breakfast is ready!” The filly jumps out of your grasp and crawls out of the room. You follow her downstairs to greet your family. Derpy is setting the table and serving up her famous muffins and dinky is pouring the juice. “Morning girls...” you say as you enter the kitchen. You place the filly in her high chair after giving her a kiss on the forehead, then you kiss dinky on the cheek and derpy on the lips. “What’s on the agenda today?”

“Well, I was thinking we could all go to the zoo and have a picnic?” Derpy suggested. “We can teach Lily about all of the different animals and such.” She said.

“Yeah we can do that.” You say in agreement. “She especially seems to be on a bear kick lately. Just then, Lily lets out a little bear growl as she plays with her teddy bear. You laugh a little and give her a cup of juice. “That’s my girl...”

Derpy smiles and sits at the table. “She loves her daddy. So do I.” She winks. You can’t help but blush, knowing what she means. It still feels like you had just gotten married yesterday. But it never changes. It was a long wild rollercoaster of emotions getting to this exact point. But looking back, aside from a few rough patches, you wouldn’t change a thing.

“Well I love my family too...” with that, you proceed to enjoy your breakfast with your family. Happy that this beautiful, ditzy mare fell into your life. Even if it meant never getting the right mail.

The end....

Author's Note

Now that this story is done, I just want to thank everyone for being so patient. It was very hard writing things because of how all over the place this story is.

Dare I say it was a.... Derpy format? :derpytongue2: :pinkiecrazy:

Seriously though, thank you for Reading and all the upvotes. I look foreword to getting back into writing and working on stuff.