Diamond Dog Country

by Dragon Emperor Geon

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Adventure, Human
Length: 2602

A Side Story in the FIAM Universe, our favorite raging German goes on an adventure to take back a powerful Rune from the Diamond dogs.

Set four years after "Friendship is a Miracle", Twilight and friends are out to visit somewhere that the map of Castle Friendship told them to visit. Meanwhile, Twilight has given Graham, our favorite raging German man from Earth, a job. What's the Job? Eh, just guard a scepter that once belonged to Star Swirl the bearded, that could very well be used by anybody for either good or evil.

And what would happen if an army of organized Diamond Dogs took it? And not only the scepter, but all the gold and shiny objects in Ponyville? And to put the icing on the cake, turn his pet dog into a Diamond Dog herself?

Well, It'd be up to Graham and his pet Diamond Dog to embark on an adventure of a lifetime in order to get life back to normal, that's what! And with a little help from a certain chaos-loving spirit of disharmony, this adventure might not be as straight forward as they hoped…

Inspired by: Donkey Kong Country Series

The Original Story: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/9924/my-little-pony-friendship-is-a-miracle

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-20 03:40:01 UTC

Chapter 1: Working from Home

It's been four years since Equestria's first human citizens crossed from earth to live with the ponies of this world. Since then, many more humans have been permitted to stay, and have since gotten accustomed to living here. They now live, work, and even play among pony-kind, and have even spread from just Ponyville and Canterlot, to all of Equestria! Of course, the first humans: Graham along with his black Labrador Gypsy, Aramis, and Jack were still living in the humble town of Ponyville, and they couldn't be happier.

A lot has changed since the beginning of their new lives. They watched Twilight ascend into Princess-hood and gain her wings. They've watched villains come and go, one in particular Graham knew: the mighty Tirek. Celestia some time ago had told them of his legend, and it was quite the sight to see the return of that centaur.

They saw Twilight's house fall, only to be presented a new one, watch as Twilight jumped dimensions after Sunset Shimmer, and the trio were even there for Twilight's stories of time-travel with Starlight Glimmer.

There were some things that changed, for sure. Even though Aramis was still hanging out with Rainbow dash, and Jack was still occasionally playing harmless tricks on ponies around town, Graham was what changed, and it was in appearance.

What was once a six-foot man with a normal body build, was now with a heavier one. He has become quite lazy recently. He's never had to worry about much of anything since staying in Ponyville, what with Twilight and the gang being able to take care of it. Even with the attack by the bugbear not too long ago, he didn't need to lift a finger to help. In fact, none of them did.

Graham not only sported a gut, but he also let his brown hair grow to past his shoulders. His beard grew out as long right to his chest, and he still wore that button-up shirt with that dragon design Rarity whipped up for him those five years ago, even if it barely fit over his white T-shirt. His Jeans were worn out a bit, and his worker's boots have seen better days. Oh, he had newer and better clothes now that Rarity knew how to fit for humans, but that would've actually meant getting up to change them. He still liked his first shirt, after all.

He would constantly sleep his days away in the castle's guest room with his pup next to him, in the hammock he made in the corner. He would come out occasionally to eat something and get his pet some food in a bowl, then go right back to sleeping. To him, life was bland, and this was how he wanted to pass it by. Not even his hat collection which he was so proud of was helping.

And Twilight was getting concerned.

"What are we going to do?" Twilight would ask as she was reading up on psychology to get a firm grasp of the situation. Spike was nabbing books left and right trying to organize as Twilight's magic would just grab what he was putting away. They were in the Castle's library, with an entire chamber of reading material, from books, to scrolls, even pamphlets were in their own category. Nothing was out of place, whether it was a sticky note, or an entire tome of knowledge. Even in Twilight's new home and her title, she had to be the librarian for the town. Who else would? "Graham's not doing anything for himself, and all he's been doing is sleeping. And the worst part is that I'm allowing him to. I think I'm being a bad friend by letting him waste his life like this."

Spike would give up on the pile Twilight was taking from, and move to the next, which was right next to the first pile. He would listen to Twilight's concerns before getting bumped behind the noggin with a floating book. Rubbing the spot of contact, Spike would voice his opinion. "Aw, come on, Twilight. I think you're worrying too much. All he does is sleep! Least he's not making any messes," He would be struck with another book with an audible 'bonk', followed by an "oof!" from the purple baby dragon. "...or hitting me with books." Twilight would look back to see Spike rubbing the same spot on his head, with a nice little bump forming. Twilight silently apologized with the folding of the ears, and stopped taking books from the piles. She would take the nearby first aid to give him a band-aid.

Maybe he was right? Perhaps it's just her being silly about the whole thing. He wasn't really getting in the way of anything, but he wasn't exactly being productive, either. She's had him help clean with spike since he was living with them rent-free, but she hardly ever sees him if it isn't about food now. He just takes whatever is on the plate, eats it, and walks off. He hardly even talks to anyone. At first, she thought it was depression, but he has proven to be perfectly happy! She found out his problem later, and for about a few days now she has been trying to find something to help him get out of his problem. Or at least, she believed it was a problem. he was more than happy enough to sleep the day away.

All that thinking made her come to realization. "Spike, as much as I want to share your viewpoint on this, I have to disagree. This isn't healthy for any pony, or human, to just...lounge!" Her mind was set. She had to figure out a way, and she would find that answer in her books! ...she hoped.

----✪----

The rest of the day went by without much else going on. Twilight and Spike took a break from hitting the books and decided to go about the rest of their day by themselves. Twilight would go outside to meet up with her friends, and Spike would take a page from Graham's schedule and sleep his day off. That was, until Twilight and friends rushed back to the throne room to check on the map. The ruckus would wake both Spike and Graham up from their naps to go check in on the matter. As they walked into the throne room, they would find all six of the ponies discussing the matter.

"It looks like our cutie marks are hoverin' 'round Los Pegasus." Applejack would say, leaning over the table and focusing on one single point. The map itself looked very much like a hologram, and their cutie marks were hovering over the far left corner of it, hovering over what looked to be a city, next to some mountains and a giant sign reading "Applewood" on it. Each pony's cutie mark on their respective flanks were glowing, just like the ones on the map, circling the destination.

"So that's where we need to go. I wonder what kind of friendship problem it's going to be?" Twilight spoke up as she sat back down, as pinkie got excited. "Oh! Oh! Maybe it's got to do with Applewood! Maybe a special celebrity left the set! Or the director got mad at the staff for messing up a scene! Or! Or--"

"Pinkie, darling, I'm sure it could be those reasons, but we'll find out when we get there." Rarity interrupted as she fiddled with her mane to get it back to its proper position. Rainbow Dash couldn't help but pipe up after her turn. "Then let's go already! we can catch the next train in forty-five minutes to Los Pegasus if we go now!"

Fluttershy did have one problem that was in need of addressing. "Uhm, if we're going now, who's going to watch the animals? They get so awfully lonely if I'm not around to brighten up their day and feed them." With that mentioned, Spike got it into his head that he could do it, for the right price. "I could do it for you, Fluttershy! All I ask in return is one single gemstone. In fact, since I was so good with the rest of your pets, I could watch them too over at Fluttershy's house! All for a gem from each of you."

"Well, Winona does need a babysitter since the family's out plowing the new field..." Applejack said as the rest were silently thinking over their choice. Within a moment's time, they would agree, but Twilight wasn't so sure. "Spike, are you sure you can handle it? You were just watching over pets last time, but now you're watching an entire farm's worth of animals." Her worries would be cured as Spike addressed this. "Don't worry, Twilight! I'll be fine! If I have any trouble, I'll have Graham there to help me, and I'll even send you a letter about it." Twilight smiled at his show of responsibility, but Twilight had other plans for Graham, knowing he would find a way not to help. No, he was going to do something else.

"That's alright, Spike. I believe you can handle it yourself. I have something else for Graham to do." Twilight would rub Spike's head, pulling off the band aid from before to see that he was fine underneath. Graham, finally paying attention from the map, looked to the purple mare, and raised a brow. In a rather deep voice, he spoke up. "I suppose I can take a break from my extra busy schedule." Rainbow couldn't help but laugh. They all knew how lazy he's become since.

Graham wasn't too keen on being laughed at. His face turning red, he would snort loud to get her attention. "I can do whatever it is Twilight wants me to! I can prove I'm good enough!" He would look back at the princess, eyes full of focus. "What is it, Twi? Gimme the details!"

Twilight would nod to acknowledge his question. "I need you...to watch over the castle, and make sure no pony comes in." The big man just stood there, as if he was looking at a two headed alicorn. "Uh...do I look like I'm  a security guard?" Hearing this, made Twilight form a smirk in her smile. "I thought you could do anything I ask you to?" She watched as he made a face of defeat, rolling his eyes and knowing very well he shot himself in the foot with his earlier statement. "Yeah, but when I said that? I was thinking you'd have something more...exciting?"

Bingo. She just found out the source of the problem. How could she be so blind! It was the lack of excitement! Ponyville, during its regular hours, was quite boring now that she thought of it. If it wasn't attacked by something, or a special event like the Star Swirl traveling museum, it was a day-to-day snooze-fest.  She was going to make him do it, but not by force.

"Ah, but what if I were to say that there is something of great importance that you'll be responsible for? Something...powerful." The rest of the girls and Spike looked to Twilight with an intrigued expression on each of their faces. They listened as Twilight reeled him in with her charisma. "Something so important, that if it was in the wrong hooves, could spell disaster for all of Equestria!" Now he got him hooked! He looked pumped up and ready to go! Until...

"Wait a second...If it's that important, why is it here, and not somewhere like, oh I don't know, Canterlot Castle? Where it would be secure by the royal guard?" Twilight could handle this. With a chuckle, she retorted. "It's because Celestia herself wanted me to give you this opportunity when the time was right, because if she found out you could handle something as large as this? She would probably give you something even bigger, and she would probably pay you! Big!"

Pay? Now there's something worth his time. Alongside doing something that could possibly be right up his alley! But that was a time to come. He needed to prove to Celestia that he was good enough for any job. Right now he was hopeful. Who knows! maybe some thief might try to take it, whatever it was...

"So what is it I'm supposed to be taking care of?"

Twilight would look to her friends and nod, allowing them to leave for the train, but not before running back to their homes to grab their pets for Spike to take care of. Spike would start making his way to Fluttershy's house. As soon as they left, Twilight would urge him to follow her. They walked through the hall, past the kitchen, and right past the throne room, until they reached the library room. She walked towards the middle of the room, and looked to her right. There, she would activate her magic to open a hole in the floor in front of her. a stand would appear, holding a staff upright, and it looked amazing...

Graham couldn't believe it! At first, he thought it was just an over-exaggeration on her part about the 'powerful' and the 'important' item he would have to guard, but this? It looked so cool! Reaching up to it, Twilight would smack his hand away. "This staff once belonged to Star Swirl the Bearded. It was said he could change from pony to dragon with this scepter alone!"

The big guy knew how staffs worked in this world. Staffs were like borrowing a Unicorn's magic, only in a material form, or to a Unicorn holding one, an amplifier. Able to cast one powerful spell that was placed upon it during the creation and enchanting procedure, it was a mighty force whoever owned one. And there was one right in front of him. "Now Graham, I want you to take special care of this staff. As I said before, anyone who uses this staff could be very dangerous! I don't know how long we'll take before coming back, but there is food for you in the fridge for a few days. Try to stay alert, please. Don't just sleep in."

Graham looked at her and chuckled. "Twilight, c'mon now, I can do this! Go on and find that friendship problem. I got it covered from here. It's as good as safe." Twilight gave him a worried look, but saw that he was actually focused. Maybe she didn't need to be as stressed out as she was. He could totally do this. With a smile of confidence, Twilight would turn around and begin to leave. "Ok, Graham. I trust you. See you soon!" He would walk her out the door, and shut it tight. Locking it, he yawned and walked back to the guest room he was sleeping in. There, he would find his faithful companion Gypsy laying down, and looking up at him and wagging her tail.

"C'mon girl, we gotta migrate to the library. We got ourselves a job to do." With that order, she jumped off the bed and walked to his side as they strolled back to the library, where Graham would pull up a chair, and Gypsy would just lay right next to it. He would kick his feet up on the table in the room, and get some shut eye not too long after getting comfortable. Little did he know, that very soon, Ponyville was about to get shaken up, and he would have one hell of a time on his hands...