Chapters It was as good as a place to start as any. Draped in an inexpressive gray landscape, the Pie Rock Farm lay as dormant and sediment filled as ever. The weather above looked as happy and sun filled as ever. And, as ever , he could feel the ponies celebrating in their Harmony.
He would have to change that.
There were too many things that were uniform, and as he walked nonchalantly through the melting sea of chocolate dirt, he took some delight in the feeling of goo on his scaly tail. Slipping his head around, he sampled his newest creation with a quick lick, face melding to that of some deliriously happy child. Slipping his head between his legs, he kept walking with his body arched into a circle. He took a rock into his hand and examined it, chuckling with mild enthusiasm when it quacked. “Now now, you’ll make a terrible ruckus if you don’t keep a lid on it,” he shushed the stone, before slipping the rest of his body around until he was upright. Reeling back, the draconequus spun on his heels, chucking the rock into a neatly organized pile. “So be sure to share with your friends!”
Laughing heartily, Discord was rewarded by the sound of every animal under the sun emanating from the pile of previously inanimate rocks. Hopping about, the lovely formations did their best to imitate what animal noise they claimed, many swimming in the chocolate slurry that Discord had provided them.
“Who goes there!?” a strong, stern voice called out. Standing at his doorstep, a grizzled brown stallion with a graying mane looked about at the sea of disruption, the multicolored draconequus standing royally in the center of it. “Who are you? What are you doing with my rocks?”
“Oh, joyous of joys, a pony talking to little old me!” With a flash, Discord was mere inches from the elder Pie’s face, his body contorted around the doorframe to the old house. “It’s been absolutely ages since one of your kind has been so lovely as to give me the gift of conversation like an intellectual equal .” Discord slipped a clawed talon around the surprised stallion’s face, punctuating his point by bopping him in the noggin. Slithering on the ground, Discord slid up into a standing position with his lion’s paw outstretched. Before the pony could even consider shaking hooves with the beast, he had already retracted the offer in order to show off his improvements. “About your little rock farm – love it, completely useless. I wouldn’t change a thing . So I did.” With an unapologetic shrug, Discord materialized a normal looking rock into his hand, bringing it close to the Pie’s nose. “Bit too drab, I can’t have a glorious empire of chaos with something so... gray.”
Shaking his head furiously, the gray maned stallion approached Discord, only to halt as his hoof slipped into the chocolate stew underneath. “N-now you listen here, you! I want you off my farm, and back to normal!”
Discord pulled a long face. However, a moment passed before he brightened again. “Oh dearest Celestia of the Sun itself, I do believe I’m being rude!” Rocking his head back with his paw over his eyes, Discord decried his folly. Falling to his knees, he grasped his paws over the stallion’s hoof before he could question Discord’s motives. “Do forgive an old fogey. I just broke out and I really don’t know where my manners have been the past thousand years!” As Discord stared unceasingly into the rock farmer’s, the pony couldn’t help but feel smaller by the moment. “The name is Discord ,” he slipped out, making sure each syllable had its due. “Master of Chaos and purveyor of all that is fun and glorious!” Releasing the eldest Pie, Discord towered over the stallion far more than he had previously. The father gasped in surprise. His head barely reached Discord’s ankle, and even then only thanks to the hat he wore upon his head.
Picking the miniature pony up by the scruff of his mane, Discord set him neatly inside his own mailbox. “Now, daddy Discord is going to need a few words with your wife about a certain pink party pony and I really don’t need an extra set of teeth yammering about ‘get out of my house’ this and ‘don’t turn my farm into sauce’ that. It’s all so routine.” Slapping the mailbox shut with an unceremonious bang, Discord disposed of the thing with a snap. All at once, the mailbox grew legs and sprouted from the ground, its spindly legs bent as if ready to bolt in any given direction. Discord patted its little red flag like a dog, picking up a vaguely bone shaped rock that clucked like a chicken. He could hear the inflated voice echoing inside his unorthodox prison. “Now now, my sweet little Pie, you’re in no position to make threats.” Flinging the rock into the horizon, Discord slapped the back of the mailbox with a hearty laugh. “Fetch!” With a howl, the mailbox took off running, its body flailing this way and that as its unfamiliar legs sank into the gooey muck.
“Now then, where was I?” Turning about, Discord saw a pair of eyes quivering in the window before darting away from the curtains. With a smirk, he decided he was sort of in a hurry and without further ado, he watched the walls sink into the ground, the roof completely intact above them, exposing the huddled trio of mares. Discord happily sauntered into the house, feigning hanging up some illusionary jacket before he walked into the kitchen. “Hoooooneeeyyy! I’m home !” Shooting the family a winning smile, Discord sat comfortably upon a stool, holding his knees with his hands as he leaned back. “Oh, what a day I’ve had. Woke up in stone like the past millennium, real boring job. Really stuck in a rut, if you know what I mean.” Grabbing a handful of fruits in his giant lion’s mitts, he smashed them all together, flinging the mush into his mouth as he continued. Needless to say he hadn’t the manners to remember to swallow before continuing. “Then I saw three little fillies fighting in the streets, and I thought, woe is me, what a horrible sight! I really must do something about all this fighting and disharmony at my doorstep. Ohhhhh, kids these days, am I right?”
Leaning forward with a loud gulp, Discord slammed his elbows into the table as he leaned close to the Pie girls, the same happy smile planted on his face. A long silence followed as Discord’s happy grin slowly degenerated to boredom, the family hiding their faces as the mother whispered words of solace to her children. “Really now,” Discord said, his finger flicking an apple across the ‘room’, “I’d be placated with a simple yes or no.”
Swallowing what fear she could, the elder Pie sister stood up, her legs wobbling as she faced Discord. “I-I’m not a-a-afraid of you!” Her amber eyes shot daggers into Discord’s, something that only served to give him humor.
“Afraid of me? Who said I was trying to frighten anypony?” Belting out a belly laugh, Discord took to the air, floating impossibly over the table as he flew about the wall-less home. “If I wanted to strike fear into a pony’s heart then I would, oh I don’t know...” Discord trailed, his gleeful glide slowing down. Opening up the refrigerator, the sister Pie could only watch as horrifying eldritch tentacles burst from the door, prompting Discord to close it quickly. “Whoops! Sorry about that, that’s a whole new world of terrifying that’s really not my style.” Sliding back to the table, Discord shot the mare a grin. “I’m just here to talk . Really.”
“I don’t wanna talk! I want my dad back!” The gray mare was persistently attempting to get on his bad side, Discord reasoned.
Snapping his fingers, Discord called the eldest Pie to appear before them, a look of surprise plastered over the pony’s face. Before he could open his mouth, Discord whipped about the room, taking a seat on the stallion and shoving some fruity mush into his mouth. Slamming his jaw firmly shut, the father only had a moment to taste the food before it turned to stone in his mouth, shortly followed by a stiffness in his legs. Then his chest. Soon the entire pony was petrified, frozen in place as if time itself had stopped for him. “There, the big man on campus is home and look at how he’s enjoying his dinner!” Spinning him around, Discord used the father as his new throne as he talked with the Pie women.
“Papa!” screamed the amber-eyed mare, but Discord cut her off with a wave of his claw.
“Now that daddy’s home, I’m sure he’ll want to be left alone. He’s feeling a bit stiff from playing fetch. Now, I’ve fulfilled my end of the bargain, let’s see yours.”
The elder sister took a reluctant step forward, her eyes darting between her father and Discord. “M-monster! Turn him back!”
Discord brought his arm up to his chest, his face contorted into pain. “Oh, you wound me! Your father is fine, really! He doesn’t even know what’s happened to him. Ponies should be so lucky .” With a flash of light, Discord disappeared. Reappearing alongside the elder sister, he sent an unamused look toward the mother and her youngest daughter. “Now, I’m here to ask about the missing member of your family. There is a disturbing lack of pink in your lives.”
The mother finally raised her head. Looking down at her daughter and sending a pleading look to the other, she opened her mouth to speak. “That’s enough!” She shakily brought herself up to her legs with a slowness that Discord wasn’t sure whether she was frightened or just old. The thought brought a warm smile to his face as he pushed himself off the eldest daughter. She seemed to relax slightly, her hooves slowly finding their way back to her sister. “You big – brute !”
“Such language,” Discord said flatly, his legs finding the ground. “Tell me, Miss Pie, do you speak to your daughters that way? I haven’t even said a cross word to your family,” he laughed.
“Get out, ruffian!” the mother shouted, her daughters looking up in fear as Discord approached her.
"I’m learning all sorts of new insults today,” Discord mused, tapping a paw on the mother Pie’s head. The matriarch crumpled to her knees, streaks of pink running through her mane. “Look, if you’re going to use such colorful language, I think you should match it. It certainly is nicer to look at than that awful grey.” Cyan eyes looked up at Discord in terror as blue started to leak out of her hooves, followed by reds and greens spreading over her tail. A swirl of color started to leak into her eyes, causing the pony to rapidly look about as her world started to contort with the colors that filled her vision. “I gave you a new outlook on life for free, too! How wonderful is that? No need to thank me, my little pony, I do believe you’ll find a new life waiting for you, in say, the Manehatten Circus!”
With a dreadful snap, the last parent disappeared before the sisters’ eyes. The youngest gave a shout of dismay, hugging her sibling even tighter. Discord chuckled as he brought his hands together into a square box, making sure to give the Pie girls a good view. “Don’t fret, little ponies! Look at how much fun she’s having!”
In the impossible box Discord made in his hands, scenes of their mother performing degrading acts flashed between his fingertips. Yelling the strangest vocabulary either of them had ever heard, their mother danced about. She slammed into poles and dunked her head into water barrels.
Dismissing the imagery, Discord put his arms akimbo. He stared at the girls, his face frozen. “I really only came here for one thing, and that was to ask a few questions...”
Hugging her sister close, the amber-eyed pony glared up at Discord, tears streaming down her eyes. “I’m not gonna tell anything to you! You’re a horrible monster! I won’t tell you anything about Pinkie!”
Discord rolled his eyes. In a flash of light, the older sister was miniaturized in his palm, scrutinized under his gaze. “I believe I’ve already talked to you. You bore me.” Closing his fist around her, he leaned back, winding up a baseball pitch. With a lightning fast throw, the sister screamed as she collided into a portrait that hung in space on the wall. Instead of slamming into the painting of their rock farm, she entered the portrait, her pony features replaced with acrylic paints as she landed among the fields. Amused with his work, Discord’s ear twitched with a strange sound.
Spinning on his heels, he looked down at the last Pie, huddled with her hooves over her head. Her hair parted over one eye, but he could plainly see that both of them were closed. “What’s this?” Discord muttered, his ear spinning to hear what the youngest sister was saying.
Rather, singing.
“G-giggle at the ghoooostie.... Guffaw at the g-g-g-grossly... Craaack... crack up at the creepy!” she sobbed, a puddle forming around her face as she continued to try to remove herself. Discord put a hand to his chin, listening to the little pony’s song.
“Ha!” Discord shouted suddenly, getting the Pie daughter to yelp in fright. “Isn’t that what you do? Ha ha ha !” Grinning down at the young mare, he chuckled alongside his combative laughter. “Come on now, laugh at me, please! I’m a funny guy, really!”
“That’s...” she choked out, shaking her head. Purple eyes shimmered as the pony pawed the ground. “That’s not right! That’s mean laughter! You’re a mean person!”
“Oh, come now, Pie! Laughter is laughter, any way you slice it!” To punctuate his point, Discord snaked into the air, a jaunty laugh accompanying him with a chorus of all sorts of pony laughter flowing across the fields. “Listen to that laughter! Why, if I was such a bad guy, wouldn’t I go away?”
With nowhere to run, the little gray mare could only return to huddling down, throwing her hooves over her ears. “It’s not the same! Granny Pie knew the difference! It can’t be the same...!”
Discord grinned over the filly, considering a new bit of chaos to add to the mix. With one final snap of his fingers, the walls rose back up into place, the laughter of disembodied ponies disappearing as they snapped back into place. Looking up, the last Pie saw that she was alone. Discord had disappeared, her father with him. A mailbox had taken his place. Looking about, she chanced her voice to the home. “P-papa?” Sniffing, the young mare stepped toward the painting on the wall. “Mama?” Nopony answered her.
Approaching the portrait, the youngest Pie put a hoof on the painting. There, on a farm that was still made for rocks and the ponies that farmed them, stood her sister, shouting wordlessly at her sister, her hooves outstretched as if asking to pull her out. Hooves hitting the solid glass pane, the pony tried again in vain. “Sis? Sis!”
Outside, Discord leaned against the wall, a rock in his paw as he casually peered into the window to watch the young mare. Taking a bite out of the stone, he chewed on it thoughtfully. He pried himself up, stretching as he blew a bubble out of sediment. He got what he wanted out of the family, after all.
Walking among the sweet syrupy fields, Discord considered laughing.
Discord swirled the clouds around him, a gleeful chuckle escaping his lips as the spun clouds started to turn pink. Floating them above his head, he clapped his mitts together as the new cloudforms took off into the sky, finding their white brethren and infecting them into a delicious treat. Satisfied that the problem would take care of itself, Discord’s newest target made herself clear to him with a scream.
Up above, a griffin spun around her cloud nest, trying desperately to keep the home from falling apart. Wooden sticks, perfectly placed on hard-packed cloudstuff started to sink into the hastily sweetening surface, large chunks of personal belongings and furniture plummeting to the ground, shattering mercilessly nearby. With a cry of dismay, the cloudy home broke apart, the sticky residue coming off as chocolate rain as the floors spit out the last of the griffin’s home.
“What is this stuff!?” Gilda shrieked, a picture frame grasped in one claw and her signed Wonderbolts poster in the the other. Shifting the rolled up poster to her back leg, she reached out to some of the last fleeing clouds, grasping the pink mass in her talon. Giving it a cursory sniff, Gilda stuck her tongue out and lapped at it. “What the –” On reaction, she chucked the sticky mess away from her, the cloud rocketing away. “Is this some kind of prank!?” Spinning about, her eagle eyes caught sight of some patchwork creature below. Soaring down to meet with the creature, Gilda raised her voice. “Hey! What’s the big idea, freakshow! This your lame idea of a joke?” Pointing an accusing claw at Discord, Gilda quickly exchanged which claw she had outstretched, bringing the picture frame close her chest instead.
Tittering his tongue, Discord shrugged in complete nonchalance. “My, whatever do you mean? I’m just a lost, wandering passersby, but my oh my do I ever seem to be in luck!”
“Can it, dweeb!” Gilda interrupted. Discord reeled back in mild surprise, his face quickly shirking back to its usual calm smile. “I know you had something to do with it!” she lied. “Something as stupid looking as you can’t be up to any good.”
“Pot calling the kettle black, aren’t we Gilda?” Discord said, his smile growing.
Gida’s wings stalled for a moment, forcing her to land on the ground as she took a step back. “Wha– How did you know my name!?”
Discord slipped close to Gilda, his face practically rubbing up against hers. Pinching her cheeks, Discord patronized the griffin. “You’re like a little proto-me , what with your two creatures! Get with the program, lady, you have to have at least five different creatures to be considered cool !” With a cry, Gilda quickly swiped at Discord’s head, but a flash of light blinded her as Discord appeared directly above her. “Well now, that wasn’t very nice, but you never were really considered one of the nice ones!”
“Shut up, freakshow! You don’t know me!” Gilda shrieked, her giant wings flaring.
“Oh, don’t I, Gilda? Let’s see here...” Without missing a beat, Discord produced a long ledger and a pair of reading glasses. Peering disdainfully over the records, he started to read off the list. “Gilda does not play well with others. Frequently gets into fights over speed and foregone conclusions of what can be considered cool . Poor influence on other Flight Camp attendee, Rainbow Dash. Request formal apology from the Junior Speedsters. Ooohoo , a request for immediate suspension, that was signed and delivered by the head of the camp!” Discord squealed, his eyes taking in Gilda’s shocked expression.
“W-where did you get those!?” she stammered. Shaking her head roughly, Gilda steadied herself. With a ferocious flap of her wings, Gilda tore through the sky after Discord, again taking a swipe at the documents in which he read. With another flash of light, Discord himself disappeared, but Gilda was rewarded with the shredding of paper between her talons. Looking about for her prey, she spotted Discord still reading from one last page.
“Well well, a Missing Ponies report from Flight School. Seems like little Rainbow Dash proved forever loyal to her friend and left the school with you.” Discord’s smile dripped with poison. “I do wonder how that turned out in the end.”
Gilda’s eyes narrowed, her breaths became quick yet labored. “Hey! I’m warning you, if you don’t clear out of here, I’m gonna make you regret it!” Brandishing her sharp talons, it took her a moment to realize that she was no longer holding the picture frame. Looking sharply to the ground, instead of seeing the discarded photo, Discord had somehow appeared below her, chuckling mercilessly at the picture.
“Really now, this is too good .” The frame held an old photo of Gilda and Dash standing side by side, the torn and scratched out faces of the rest of the Junior Speedsters beside them.
Gilda’s face turned stark red as she realized what he was holding, her face strained. “Give that back you freak! ” Slamming down on all fours, the Wonderbolt poster crumpled underneath her weight. Ignoring the lost collector's item, she seethed with every breath.
Discord’s eyebrows shot up, his expression a mask of mock surprise. “Give this back?” Discord dangled the picture in front of Gilda, his face slowly melding to that of grim amusement. “Of course! It’s not even mine.” Tossing it limply over to Gilda, Discord smiled disarmingly. “I wouldn’t even know what to do with it!”
Gilda snarled in response, taking up the picture in her claw. Looking down at it, she made sure it was okay. There she was, same as always, but – she gasped. Dash had completely disappeared. “What? How did –!?”
Discord played with a little filly in his palm, the rainbow pegasus looking like she had stepped straight out of the picture. Every time she flew out of his hands, Discord snapped up the pony by her tail and dragged her back down, pinning her under his finger before letting go, repeating the process until Gilda recovered. “She really is a tenacious little one, isn’t she?”
“Let her go! She doesn’t belong to you!” Gilda shrieked, her pupils shrinking. Discord caught the filly by the tail, this time bringing her close to his eyes. The miniature pony huffed at him, trying to punch his nose as she hung uselessly from his grip.
“Belong to me?” Discord echoed easily, his voice unattached to his mouth. Slowly the light around them started to fade. Gilda looked away from Discord a moment to see if her eyes were playing tricks, but by the time she looked back, he had gone. “Oh, Gilda, are you trying to say something?” Beside her, Rainbow Dash stepped into view, Gilda’s jaw dropping as the pony glared at her. “That, perhaps, she belongs to you?”
“She –” Gilda started.
“You should find some friends someplace else!” Rainbow Dash said.
Gilda shook her head. “Dash, come on! Look, I’m sorry! Okay?”
Discord’s laugh surrounded her as another Rainbow Dash stepped forward. “Now you show the loyalty to a friend who followed you? Oh, dear me, how touching!” Another Rainbow Dash appeared, Gilda looking this way and that. Everywhere she looked, another Rainbow Dash came to view.
“H-hey! She made a choice! Them, or me! She picked wrong, okay?” Gilda screamed, looking the first Rainbow Dash in the eye. “I’m important too! Cloudsdale, remember Dash? All those times, you just want to throw away? Me ‘n you!”
“Gag!” Discord shouted, the Rainbow Dashes that had gathered starting to disappear. Holding the filly in his hand, Discord shook his head. “I’m not here to make you discover yourself. I really could care less about you.” Above them, the sky which had been only peppered with white and pink clouds started to overcast in a deep, pink hue. Out in the distance, he could see pegasi trying to buck the clouds away, but to little avail. “But you have given me a lot to think about about our little miss Rainbow Dash.”
Growling, Gilda made as if to charge Discord, but soon found she couldn’t move. Looking down, she saw that she no longer possessed the legs to even charge, instead she sat upon a sealion’s tail, flapping uselessly about. “Wh-what did you do to me?”
Discord smiled, spreading his arms wide. “Oh, I just thought you might like to see how the other lions live.” Looking down at the struggling filly, he amusedly watched as the pony bit at his talons. “Hm, I guess I won’t be needing this anymore.” Releasing the Rainbow Dash, Gilda allowed herself some relief to watch the miniature photo-Dash escape the clutches of her captor. However, as she flapped her wings to join the pegasus in the air, the thick and heavy sealion tail slowed her up. As she strained herself, Dash continued to fly away, her small size becoming microscopic in the skies.
“Yeah? Well turn me back before I... no!” Gilda shouted, having noticed the tiny Dash continue to fly away from her. She flapped as hard as she could to get into the air, but it was nowhere near the speed of the miniature mare. “She’s getting away! She’s leaving! She can’t leave! Not again!”
Discord chuckled. “Didn’t I make this clear, Gilda? You made your choice, as she’ll make hers . It’s all a matter of framing the right decision .” Pointing a finger toward the last streaks of a rainbow mane, Discord snapped his talons together. “Annnnd... Pow!” Gilda watched uselessly as the Dash from her photograph erupted into a small tuft of flame, disappearing almost as instantly as she had appeared. Her wings froze, the half eagle/half sealion slumping hard against the ground in a heap, her expression frozen in shock and anger.
Bringing his hands together, Discord parted the ground below her, opening up a channel of water for the new Gilda to dwell in. Pieces of flotsam from her cloud nest floated benignly around her as she instinctively tread water. “Really now, I thank you for your time, but I really must be going. I have a few more places to stop by and then a date with royalty. What do you wear in front of a Sun Goddess? It’s been so long.” Gilda splashed angrily, her tail kicking against the water as she struggled to get at Discord. “Oh, what do I care, she prances about naked anyway. I might as well return the favor. No use covering up such a perfect picture of chaos!”
Discord spun on his heels, ignoring the shouting ex-griffin behind him. Considering for a moment to dry up the pond he had created, he thought better of it.
He at least owed her that much.
A cyan earth pony slammed the door shut to her and her sister’s establishment in an exhausted huff. Through the glass door, she could see the mass of ponies walking dejectedly away from their spa, heads hung low and dripping with chocolate. “This may be a spa in which we beautify the ponies of Ponyville, but we are not a place for free baths !” she groaned, putting a hoof on her forehead and shaking it. Her pink mane fell over her eyes as she freed it from her hairband, putting an early end to a busy day.
“Don’t worry about it, Aloe!” a happier voice chimed in. Staring up, Aloe could see her sister above, staring out a window on the open loft above. Her sister was the exact opposite in coloration than Aloe, sporting a pink coat that led up to her cyan mane and tail. It was easy for most ponies to guess their twin sisterhood. “I’m sure once all this weird weather clears up, we’ll be back to beautifying ponies instead of washing them!”
“Lotus...” Aloe breathed. Making as if to give her sister a rebuttal, Aloe instead sighed and made her way to the front desk. “I think it’s best to close up for the day. Nopony is going to think of beauty at a time like this. Chocolate is absolutely horrid on a pony’s coat.”
Lotus bounded down the steps, a look of wonderment on her features. “Yes, sis, I agree. I do not believe even Rarity will be coming in today.” Tittering her tongue, Lotus gestured to the chocolate storm outside. But it isn’t all bad!” Lotus perked up, trotting to one of the baths nearby. Picking up a bucket in her mouth, she placed it on the front desk with a smile. “Let’s say you and I set some buckets out to catch the rain! If it keeps up like this, we’ll have a ton of chocolate milk to last us for weeks!”
Aloe looked up from her magazine, her face awash in mild annoyance. However, the hopeful look on her sister’s face melted her chagrin enough to pry her back up to her hooves. “Well, I do like chocolate...”
“And so do I !” Kicking the door in, Discord posed expectantly as he looked over the mare’s who ran the spa. “It’s simply one of my favorite things, second only to wrecking unbridled chaos upon the world. Oh, and when ponies work my beautiful mane just so .” Aloe and Lotus shrieked at the sight of the draconequus, quickly abandoning their buckets and instead latching on to one another.
“It’s a demon!” Lotus screamed.
“From the gates of Tartarus!” Aloe yelled in dismay.
“Oh woe is to us!” Discord appeared in a flash of light between the two girls, their hooves latched awkwardly around his sinewy body. “Whatever will this stranger do? ” Aloe and lotus scrambled to get away from Discord, regrouping on the other side of the front desk.
Discord had kept his finger pinned to his chin, legitimately pondering the question he had posed. “I wasn’t expecting twins. I love twins!” Slithering across the floor, Discord pressed himself over Aloe’s back running his claws over her terrified features. “They’re like mirrors,” he said, whipping under Lotus and curling himself between the mares. “Although I hate mirrors.” With a shriek the girls galloped away from Discord’s touch, intent on making it to the door. With a loud snap, The doors themselves turned to diamond, refusing the sisters’ escape, their worried gazes met with shimmering, jagged reflections.
“Really now, ponies, must you always cut and run? When will you just stop and realize I just want to talk, maybe get a little makeover?” Discord wailed, putting his talon over his eyes woefully. “I am meeting with royalty later and I want to look my absolute best!”
Lotus gulped, her sapphire eyes shimmering as she met the similarly hued eyes of her sister. Together, they wheeled about to face Discord, who was busying himself with their legion of wall to wall mirrors. Each one no longer possessed the ideal flatness that was required for a pony to look fabulous, but instead their spa resembled that of a funhouse. “Stop that!” Lotus yelled.
Discord paused. Swirling through the air, he smiled gainfully at the filly. “Stop? ” he drew out, “Well, that’s certainly old hat. Why doesn’t anypony tell me to keep going? Or to eat an ice cream sundae?” In a flash of light, a small bowl appeared next to Discord. Taking the bowl in his hands, he ate thoughtfully from his ice cream, taking a moment to reach out and grab various shampoos and body washes as syrup. “It’s always stop.”
Swirling down to the huddled fillies, Discord gave them a large, toothy grin. Leaning close to them, his voice lowered. “I’ve stopped before. Over a thousand years I stopped. I don’t ever want to stop again.” Something hung on his voice, some insipid coating over his words that betrayed his jaunty expression. “Now, my little ponies, let’s say we keep going !” Without warning, he thrust his arms out and grabbed Aloe, tearing her away from her sister. “Think of this as your own, new, personal play place! Fashion is so overrated these days!”
With a scream, Aloe wriggled as best she could against the sure grip of her captor, but to no avail. Lotus shouted after them, but Discord was already snaking himself through the air, putting a fair distance between the sisters. “Now, please, tell me this isn’t a vast improvement!” Placing Aloe down in a surprisingly gentle fashion, she could only stare in horror as the mirror that once showed off her once perfectly kept visage was now twisted in front of her. Instead of her pony shape, instead her legs had been fattened and shortened, her face squished and squashed in the reflection. Discord chortled as he stared down at the pony. “Oh, what fun! I’ve always said the pony shape could use more variation!”
“Aloe! Aloe!” Lotus cried, rounding the reflection pool as she approached them. “Please tell me you’re alright!”
“Lotus!” Aloe cried, but she quickly slapped her hoof over her mouth. Or she tried. A large, stubby cyan club came up much faster than she had expected, nearly knocking her off her feet as it collided with her face. Staring at the stubby weapon, she stared once again at her reflection in the mirror, the same club that hit her face now reflected awkwardly. It was her hoof– her hoof. Looking at her own body, Aloe screamed, her voice altered to match her new funhouse appearance.
Lotus entered the room, mirrors along the walls showcasing her arrival by shifting into new and horrid shapes. “A-Aloe!?” she said, her eyes falling upon the shapeshifted pony on the ground. Instead of her mirror-image, her sister mimicked the reflection on the wall in physical appearance. Looking up, the jolly laughter of the trickster God echoed around them as Discord slid his paw in front of every new mirror, taking great delight in watching it change with each passing mirror. “You! You did this! Change her back, this instant!”
“Oh?” Discord said, his eyebrows shooting up. “But where’s the fun in that? I think you’re missing the point here, girl! I mean really, you run a spa!” In a flash of light, Discord was gone from where he was. Looking around, Lotus yelped in surprise as a lion’s paw connected with her rear end, pushing her further into the room. “I would think you of all ponies would understand that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I...”
Lotus never stood a change. In a brilliant flash of light, she was no longer standing in the middle of the room. She stared, transfixed, at her own unmolested reflection. Her eyes were wide, and she could she her tormentor standing behind her, but a quick look back showed nothing at all. “I think you can be beautiful. Tell me, what do you know about beauty... Lotus, was it?”
“I...I...” she felt her head forcibly turned back toward the mirror. Slowly, painfully, she watched as the mirror itself started to wobble and change. “P-please... don’t do this.”
“I’ve seen your work. Rather boring, really, but it has such potential. I think you just need a new view on life. Something, oh, I dunno, like you. But different. So much more.” The Lotus in the mirror started to smile, despite the real Lotus’ protests. “Yes, I can see it now.”
Aloe wept in the corner, her giant hooves covering her eyes. “Lotus!? Lotus please, I don’t want to see anymore!”
The Lotus in the mirror started to melt, just a little bit, along the sides of her face. Her mane seeped down toward her cheeks, melting and mixing with her natural color. “Don’t worry about the makeover, really. It’s on the house.” Discord’s visage appeared once more in the mirror, spouting off from one of the corners as he admired her new appearance. “Oh, I really have outdone myself. You’re starting to look fantastic. Full of new, fresh ideas ready for the spotlight!”
Lotus shook her head, but she couldn’t look away. She reached up to her face, but her reflection did not follow. “N-no!” Her reflection started to smile.
“No? Are you sure? You could bring out a new line of fashion! Get that white unicorn to really help you shine, after I’m done with her, of course...”
Lotus’s eyes bulged. “Please! You leave Lady Rarity alone! she is the kindest, most generous pony I know. She does not deserve such treatment as this. Nopony does!”
Discord slipped around her reflection, and although she could see him outside of the mirror, she could feel him on her as he sat himself down on her back. “Hm, sorry, no. You see, I’m in the mood to stick around for awhile, and I don’t need some set of pretty little ponies raining on my parade. They’d probably use water or something equally boring. Gag.” She watched him slink his face up to hers, feeling his breath along her cheek. “No, everypony has their price. She’ll make an excellent agent of chaos. Generous, though. That’s good.”
“I’ll be sure to make her a rock star.” Discord laughed, receiving nothing but a cool glare from his captive. “Oh, you’ll see what I mean later.” Waving his hand about, Discord disappeared from her back, and Lotus could feel his weight lift off her.
Sighing deeply in relief, Lotus turned away from the mirror, her hooves tripping up over their changed appearance. “Aloe! Aloe please, answer me!” Looking around the room, Lotus couldn’t find her sister anywhere. As she passed every mirror, she could feel her body changing to reflect the image.
Her hooves felt backwards. Looking down at her, currently very spindly, legs, she made an effort to move her left forehoof.
The right one moved. She tested her other forehoof. The left one moved. Shaking the strange sensation off, Lotus kept moving. Locating the mirror her sister was at on the other side of the room where it should have been, all that remained of her sister was a puddle of tears where she had rolled up into a ball. “Aloe...!”
“Sis... is that you? Please, where are you?” Aloe’s voice called.
“I’m here, Aloe! I’m in front of the first mirror you were at. Where are you?”
“I don’t want to look anymore, Lotus! Please don’t make me look anymore,” she cried in between sobs. The puddle on the floor started to grow larger. Looking about, Lotus gasped as she finally found her sister.
On the other side of the mirror. “Aloe! Aloe, how did you get over there!?”
“Lotus... Lotus I haven’t moved. I’m too scared to move. Please, can you just take me out of here?”
“I can’t! You’re in the mirror. Aloe, I can’t... I can’t...” Lotus trailed off. In the mirror was her sister, but she couldn’t see herself. No Lotus met her gaze in the reflection. Looking around the room, she didn’t seem to see herself anywhere in the glass. “Why... What’s going on?” But there, as she stared into the mirror with her sister, she could see her.
Her reflection. The other Lotus. Melted, smiling. She was smiling the most serene grin she had ever seen.
And she took a step toward her sister.
Author's Note: This was going to be DeviantArt exclusive, but I ended up writing a complete tone change and suddenly it fit back into the story proper. Enjoy!
Tossing aside paper after paper, Discord grunted in annoyance. Who knew that getting the sitch on the Harmony girls would have so much paperwork involved? Still, all this confounded harmony and order sure did make hostile takeovers and espionage much easier. Within the Ponyville archives, the veritably bored draconequus started to lift the lines right off the paper, his arms turning the entirety of the documents around him into lasso of literary language. “I really don’t have a lot of time to spare until the darling little ponies get on the train to Canterlot. Find me a little something on a pretty little pony by the name of...” The word lasso hit a snag as Discord wheeled it about. Glaring at whatever offender may have stopped his nonsense, he was met by the bulging eyes of one very legal looking mare.
Discord noted that up until this point in life he hadn’t even considered ‘legal’ as a way a pony could look, but he was always in the market for something new. Snaking down to the beige mare’s level, Discord smiled his one-fanged grin at the mayor. “Oh, hello there! I didn’t even hear you come in!” Reaching out towards the frozen looking mare, Discord removed the line of letters from Mayor Mare’s hair with a delicate touch. “Sorry about that. You know how all this legal speak can be, am I right?”
“H-h-h-how c-can you–” Mayor Mare stammered out, before shaking her head ruthlessly. Stamping her hoof down, the fidgeting old relic suddenly straightened herself out, her eyes closed. “Ahem, excuse me, but this area is off-limits to non-employees. If you want to get information on anypony, you must go through our staff.” Having stated her intentions, Mayor Mare opened her eyes to see Discord flying in the air, his nose unamusedly poked in a book.
He looked down at her, slamming the book closed with a resounding tweet. “You’re not– serious , are you?”
Mayor Mare nodded in the affirmative. “Very serious. You’re lucky I’m letting you off with just a warning. The work on putting all these words back in the books alone is going to set us back a month.” Shooting Discord a smile that could-and-subsequently-had won elections, the elder pony started to shoo the spirit of disharmony out of her Archives. “Now, our usual hours are between nine and four, and you’ll have to set up an appointment with our receptionist–”
“Okay, no. ” Discord halted in his tracks, quite tired with all the legal mumbo jumbo. “Do you know who I am?” His body arched over the Mayor Mare’s, his horn tussling her gray mane. After a moment of silence, Discord snorted.
Mayor Mare ignored it. “Well I’d like to know all of my constituents, but you must have somehow slipped my memory. Quite a deed for somepony who looks so... I hope you don’t mind me saying, unique .” Slipping right through Discord’s sinewy body, Mayor Mare trotted busily toward the door. “Although it doesn’t matter who you are , nopony is above the law.”
Discord stared in stark silence, the Mayor’s blue eyes scanning over him with practiced civility. “You’re joking,” Discord said, shaking his head. However, Mayor Mare kept a level eye on him. “You’re serious.”
“Absolutely. Now if you excuse me, I have a meeting to get to. If you’d like, I could escort you to the front desk,” Mayor Mare offered. In response, all she got was a long silence. Discord stared, his face pulled taut, resting it on his elbow.
Grimacing, his feet grazed the ground. Drawing himself to his full height, he sparked himself out of existence and reappeared in front of the Mayor. “I don’t really think you’re fully understanding the gravity of the situation here, little pony,” Discord began, “but I’m not in the market for any sort of laws or appointments .” Puffing out his chest, he made sure to flash his very imposing fang at the official. “I certainly am in no mood to deal with a receptionist—”
“Oh, you should!” Mayor Mare beamed, cantering around Discord as she went through the door. “She is such a sweetheart. And don’t worry about her eyes, they are quite unique. Not much unlike yourself, Mr...?”
Thoroughly deflated, the Spirit of Disharmony could only grunt out his name between exasperated sighs. “Discord. God of Chaos.”
“And I am the Mayor of Ponyville, you may call me Mayor Mare, as it’s my title for as long as I have office.” With the most professional smile, she opened the door to the front of the courthouse, Discord numbly following behind as she led him to the front desk. “Screwball! Be a dear and get this stallion an appointment, dear!”
Ears flipping up, Discord looked over to the receptionist. “Screwball? What a wonderful name!”
“Thanks mister!” A delightful mare called, her purple and white locks bouncing in the air as she appeared from under the desk with a clipboard. “My momma gave it to me when she saw my eyes and they were all screwy!” With a clear laugh, Screwball opened her eyes, revealing that they were just as wild as her mane, more spiral than iris. “What can I help you with?”
Opening his mouth, Discord raised a claw to request an appointment, but as soon as the words tried to come out of his mouth, he shook his head violently. “Wait, no. No . I didn’t come here to speak with anypony! I came here to get my hands on information regarding that animal-loving pony and cause as much chaos as possible while I’m at it!”
A long silence.
Suddenly, Screwball brightened up. “Oh! You mean Fluttershy? She’s the big animal lover around here!”
Discord stared at her. “I– yes. I suppose that’s her name.”
“Well! I don’t think she’s running any services from her cottage today, but if you’re here with the Photo Finish group, I’ve been informed to tell you that Miss Fluttershy has taken out a restraining order on Ms. Finish.” Screwball looked up and down, taking in all of Discord with her eyes before adding, “You certainly look like you’re from one of her magazines!”
Discord opened his mouth as he tried to retort, but he quickly took a look at himself. “Me? In magazines? Well, I don’t hardly doubt you, I am a magnificent specimen!” Aheming loudly, Discord snapped his fingers. “Well, I suppose I got what I came here for.”
“I’m always happy to help!” Screwball smiled, waving her hoof at Discord. “Let me know if you need any further assistance!”
Shoulders slouched, Discord shook his head. Walking away, he went over what just happened in his head. He had gotten what he wanted through sheer force of good will and the bureaucratic system available to him. His lip twitched, and he spun back around. “Well then! Thank you most kindly! For your help, I’ve decided to reward you!”
“Oh, thank you, but helping is it’s own reward.”
Her words sounded like fingernails on a chalkboard in his ear. “Yes, well, but I have something more than that!” Snapping his fingers again, this time with his lion’s paw, a small beanie hat appeared on Screwballs head. Almost immediately, the propeller on the top of the cap started to spin, propelling the earth pony into the air. “For how you’ve lifted my spirits today, I thought I’d give you a lift of your own!”
“Oh! My! This is–! Woo!” Screwball wiggled her limbs about, trying to stabilize her trajectory. However, as she laughed and soared, she made absolutely no attempt to stop her sudden flight. Discord’s smug smile would have lasted much shorter if it weren’t for the scream of the Mayor as she reentered the front hall.
“Screwball! What are you doing?” Mayor Mare called, galloping toward the center of the building. As she ran, the ground beneath the courthouse started to rumble with every step. Locking eyes with Discord, she kept her expression as neutral as possible. “Discord, sir , I can’t help but guess you have had something to do with the sudden aerial acrobatics course my receptionist has taken.”
Discord looked taken aback, putting a hand over his heart as if to recover from the shock of her statement. “I’m flabbergasted you could say such a thing! What if your constituents heard you make such baseless claims. I had expected a pony of your status to be above such smear campaigns!”
Huffing and puffing her cheeks out, Mayor Mare shook her head. Beneath her hooves, the shaking had started to worsen. “Yoooooou, I think I’ve seen and heard enough out of you to have more than enough base for my claims, thank you very much, sir . Now I demand you put my receptionist down before I contact the authorities!”
“Really now? I should think you would be much more focused on getting yourself down than her.” With one final groan, the entirety of the courthouse found itself detached from the ground below, rising into the sky with gleeful abandon. “Oh, isn’t this wonderful! Your own mobile airship, depositing your law across all of Ponyville!”
“Mr. Discord! Please, put this building down right now . I order you, with power granted to me by the Ponyville council, to cease your– Screwball, get back here!” During her speech, the pinkly pony had jettisoned out the front, taking the entire door with her. However, as she stepped forward, her balance started to shift as the building started to teeter in the air.
Discord stood still, moving upside down as the entire courthouse started to point at the ground. Mayor Mare, on the other hoof, was quickly moving to the ceiling from the northernmost wall. “Really, I think it’d look more intimidating if we had it pointed down, don’t you think? Like a pinpoint needle, ready to pick off any pony opposing your law!”
Mayor Mare’s eyes were bulging in her head as she looked up at Discord, who was still serenely smiling from the ‘floor’. “What do you want, Discord? Why are you doing this!?” she asked, her voice still maintaining just enough mettle to prompt Discord to respond.
Releasing himself from the floor, Discord started to drift in a dreamlike manner towards the chandelier, his eyes never quite leaving the Mayor. Even as he spun, she could feel his eyes on her, flipping and snaking with impossible turns and, more than once, rolling himself into a knot only to slip right through his own body. Approaching the Mayor, Discord slid across the ground on his stomach, before reeling up like a viper as he reached her. Smiling and, of course, flashing his one good fang, Discord eyes glowed a terrible color. “You want to know why I’m doing this?”
His breath smelled of garlic and oranges, his humid breaths causing her to blink multiple times as it stung her eyes. Leaning close, Discord put his forehead to hers. His arms, long since forgotten by the Mayor, reached up and seized the air around her. His paw reached her cutie mark and his claw tickled her neck. His tongue slipped in and out of his mouth, as if tasting her fear. “Because I need to change everything .”
Releasing his grip, Discord poked the Mayor’s nose with his paw with a fleeting laugh. “By the way, your mane’s pink.” And in a flash, he was gone.
Heart beating in her chest, Mayor Mare quickly pulled a piece of hair down to her eyes, staring at the most offending pink color she had ever seen. All facade of appearance fell from her as her eyes’ narrowed and she screamed over echoing laughter. “Scandal! ”
