Plans Change

I dropped to the ground, brushing away tears. I let out a sigh. That was scary as shit. I just needed a breather. A chance to inhale and exhale. Absorb this latest episode. That would get me ready for whatever happened ne-

Who am I kidding? I need a corner to go sit and cry in.

The Ponds are dead, and it’s all my fault. What the hell was wrong with me?

“Morgan Spencer, oh how the time has flown.” A voice echoed in the room.

I jumped back. No one in this reality knew my name, just the Doctor and Darcy. “Who are you?” I asked.

There was a dark laugh. “I am surprised you haven’t figured it out.”

I raised a brow.

“Oh. Sorry. I forgot. You change your name so many times.” The voice admitted. “Oh...what was it...Frederica Rose?”

My eyes widened. A horrifying thought came to mind. If it was who I thought it was...

“No. No. Megan Quinn? No.” The voice mulled over in thought.

“Not him. Not him. Please oh Great Merciful Storyline don’t make it be him.” I pleaded.

“Machiko? That one was a fun discovery. So many versions of you with that name. What, no creativity? Well, you did name the Created after her scale color.”

My throat closed. Only one person spat out Created like the word was a sin. “No. No, please no. Not him.”

I stared at the door. A strange feeling was filling my spin. It was getting stronger. “He died. He died. I know he died.”

The door creaked.

“Let’s not forget my absolute favorite.” The voice said, as a hand appeared in the opening door.

A tear burned in my eyes. “Someone please tell me it isn’t him. It can’t be him.”

The man entered the room, almost making me scream.

“Raspberry Stardust.” The man smirked.

“Dominic Chamberlin.” I gaped. My mouth was open in a silent scream.

Dominic grinned. “How did you get here, Terra?” He asked almost mockingly.

I realized where he thought I was. “Made a portal. I jumped away.” I was aware words were coming out, but couldn’t control how.

“A coward, even in death.” Dominic’s grin was dark. “No matter. You will return. You care too much about those pathetic Createds to leave them behind.” He taunted.

I gulped.

“We are here to observe.” Dominic said. “Never interfere.”

“That’s wasting a perfectly good gift.” I spat, finally finding my voice.

“A gift? You think this life is a gift?” Dominic scoffed. “It is a harsh curse.”

“It is a gift because it brings us things and shows us wonders we would rarely see at Home.” I defended. “Why would we be given such abilities if not to use them?”

Unbeknownst to me, he had been walking closer and closer to me as I spoke. Dominic hit me, a slap right across my face. It was so strong, I hit the floor with a loud thud.

He pulled me up by my ponytail. His lime green eyes bore into my amber ones. I didn’t want his green eyes. I wanted manboy’s. I wanted my Manboy. But, he hated me. I killed his best friends.

I was just useless...

“I have better plan in mind this time.” Dominic sneered.

A shiver went down my spine, resting in my gut. ‘I’m not even worth saving.’

==PC==

“My name is Ellen.”

I stared blankly forward, not listening to the girl in the cell beside mine. It had been days since I had been brought in, and each day was worse than the last. Dominic had beaten me to a pulp that first night, ‘breaking me in’ he called it.

Then he-

I winced, curling in on myself. It still hurt, it always hurt now. His dirty hands on me, practically wiping away any of the Doctor’s gentle touches. Dominic used a cat o nine tails, leather belts, and one time he just poked me with a burning fire stoker. It was torture. He was never kind like the Doctor had been. I bled for days after, for a while I thought I would bleed out.

Then Dominic brought me out into the public for his club. A BDSM club, called Dominic's House of Pain. A part of me laughed at his lack of creativity, then I remembered I named my daughter after her scale color and did the same for myself. Every Sunday (unless someone paid extra), I was a punching bag. You could hit me as hard as you wanted, for as long as you wanted. The rest of the week I was your run of the mill stripper.

Dominic insisted he be called Master, making me think of the Master which made me think of the Doctor. That made it hurt all over again. Dominic was my Master, but he wasn’t the Master. The Master was a Time Lord driven mad by his own kind, forced into doing horrible things because of those drums in his head. He was eight years old.

Master Dominic used me almost every night, as well as giving some of the clients a chance to have a turn. I wish I could say I lost count of how many men I was forced to be with. I wish I could say I didn’t know how many times Master Dominic had tortured me, used me. My mind didn’t let me lose track.

I didn’t fight against Dominic, I never could. He was the thing I was most scared of. I did, however, fight the clients. A little spitting here, biting there, and kicks to the groin to spice things up. Dominic beat me twice as hard those nights, but I couldn’t change my ways. Only one guy could touch me, and the Doctor was out.

Today, it wasn’t Sunday. Master Dominic had left me behind in my cell, letting my wounds at least scab over or let some wounds heal so his new ones would show.

There were other girls here, all looking in the same boat I was. They didn’t want to be here. Some nights you could hear them crying, or screaming to be sent home.

“What’s your name?” The girl in the cell on my left tried to make conversation.

“Punching bag.” I answered before I knew the words were in my throat. It was Master Dominic’s main name for me, others were useless, whore, slut, and cunt.

The girl grabbed her bars. “That’s the name he gave you. I asked you for your name.”

She said it so kindly, that it didn’t even sound like a command. It sounded like something I would say if I was in her shoeless feet.

“Terra.” I almost whispered.

Ellen hummed. “That’s a wonderful name.”

I leaned back in my cell, the cool metal on my back like heaven after today. “Ellen is too.”

There was a moment of silence.

“How did Dominic bring you here?” Ellen asked.

I winced, letting out a sigh.

“I’m sorry.” Ellen said. “I know it hurts, but you’ll go mad if you don’t talk to anyone.”

I snorted, already feeling the creeping claws of depression in my bones. “Can’t lose what you never had.”

Ellen paused, then laughed. “True.” She agreed. “Which is why I don’t understand, Terra, how Dominic got you-”

I winced, letting out a small hiss. “P-please. Don’t say his name.” My voice was a whimper.

“Okay.” Ellen said quickly, almost apologetically. “Okay. I won’t. I’m sorry.”

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. If one of the guards heard I was panicking they might bring Master in here. I didn’t want him in here. He still gave me nightmares from our first encounter.

“Tell me about your life.” Ellen suggested.

I scoffed. “I’m in a BDSM club with no hope of getting out.”

“Your real life.” Ellen corrected.

My heart ached as I thought about it. I had finally become used to it, used to be with the Doctor and saving the day. Now I was here, because of what I did.

“What does it matter?” I sighed, looking down at my new outfit. “This is my life now. I’ve earned this.”

“I doubt that.” Ellen lightly teased. “No one earns this.”

“Well, I’m a rebel.” I barked. “And I don’t want my old life. It’s just that. An old life. I don’t want to think about it. I don’t want to think about how I killed Rory and Amelia. I don’t want to think about how I’m gonna kill Rose, and Donna, and the Master, and the Doctor, and River, and who knows? Maybe I’ll kill Clara too. You never know with me. People just die around me and it’s my fault. So no, I don’t want to talk about my old life. I would much rather stay here as far away from my loved ones as possible!”

The speech left me panting, not so much at how much I was saying but the memories that came with. The Ponds dying, River’s ghost on Trenzalore, Clara jumping into his time stream, the Silence taking Melody away on my First Day.

“Did I say you could talk, you whore?”

My heart stopped. Oh no...

==PC==

He had his guards drag us to the Pain Room. That’s what I called it, apparently it was where I teleported in. I was forced onto my knees, my arms handcuffed behind me. Ellen had her arms chained over her head, exposing her bare back to Master Dominic.

I knew what he was going to do to her, it was the worst part of my brain. Years of my life spent training it to think five steps ahead of the other person, of putting myself in the minds of monsters to decode them. It was my job to get inside Dominic’s head and figure out how to bring him down.

I had done it once before, and it led me into this mess.

Master Dominic whipped Ellen’s back with the nine tails. She screamed in pain, probably still reeling from wounds she had before. I let out a plea for him to stop.

“This is what you do, you worthless slut!” Master Dominic yelled, whipping her again. “People get hurt because of you!”

“Stop it!” I pleaded, trying to pull on my restraints. “I’ll take her place, just please stop!”

Master Dominic sneered at me. “No. You need to learn what happens when you forget your place!” He raised his arm. “And I don’t remember saying you could talk!”

He whipped Ellen so hard it shook in my ears. She let out a loud scream of pain. That one had to have cut through her skin. Some drops of blood plopped onto the floor, only making it that much worse. I had done that to her...she was in pain because of me...they were all in pain because of me.

My mouth was kept shut. When I talked, he whipped her harder. The only way to keep from being hit to stop making yourself a target.

Woah. I hadn’t thought like that since I was twelve years old. The thought came back almost like a temptation. Should I give into it? Should I ruin all the hard work Darcy and Lilac and the Mane 6 put into rebuilding me?

Master Dominic whipped Ellen again. I knew then that yes, I did have to give in. This was my punishment for all I had done. Maybe once the Doctor knows how sorry I was for the Ponds, how I punished myself for the wrongs I had done, he would let me back in. Maybe River would too, I had killed her parents in front of her.

The only way to keep this from happening to Ellen again was if I stayed quiet, if I became a victim again. I needed to let go of Terra Song, I needed to be the Punching Bag.

I may not be able to save Amelia and Rory, but I would be able to save her.

It was the only way.

With that decided, I lowered my head. My mouth was clamped shut, my eyes stayed firmly on the black marble floor.

Master Dominic was about to whip Ellen again. He walked closer to me, his rubber boots rubbing the floor in a way that almost made them squeal. Ellen’s blood had done little to help.

“You have another show tonight.” Master Dominic said, dropping the whip by my side. “Best behavior, bag.”

His tone didn’t say he wanted a response, so I kept my gaze on the ground below me.

“Good girl.” Master Dominic sneered.

He kicked me, his boot hitting me so hard I knew a bruise would appear.

Doctor, please save us.

==PC==

The Doctor brought out his psychic paper, feeling it buzz with a message.

Doctor, please save us. The message was repeating, like it had with the Face of Boe on New Earth.

The Doctor sadly thought back to the death of the giant head. Terra had been there, nearly crying. Something he had only seen her do a handful of times. She never really showed her emotions, closing herself off to anyone and everyone.

Well, everyone except the Doctor.

“What is it?” Martha asked.

The Doctor looked over to the new companion on the TARDIS. Well, not really a companion. She was only here for a few trips as thank you for saving him and Terra’s life, then he would take her home. He had taken her on three trips already, and a fourth would just be over the top…

Then again. He had been running into Terra at each of the places they had gone together...and the two of them had nearly mended fences back in New New York. Terra might appear on this adventure as well!

The Doctor grinned at Martha. “Psychic paper, remember?”

“Shows you want you want it to.” Martha recalled.

The Doctor nodded. “Someone is sending me a message on this. A call for help.”

Martha read the repeating message. “Is it an emergency, like some space 911?”

“I’d say so.” The Doctor said, putting the paper in his coat pocket. He started dashing about the console. “You need a lot of telepathic power to reach us here in the vortex.”

Martha nodded, trying again to try and understand how space travel worked in this mad box. She did remember one thing, as she braced herself on the handrails, just in time for the TARDIS to start shaking with the Doctor’s familiar horrid driving.

It took about a moment for her to land, Martha said it was the Doctor’s personal best. The Doctor had a different theory. The TARDIS had been running to this place as well. She was as concerned about the message as the Doctor.

Barely a second passed after the landing before the Doctor was out of the TARDIS.

“January 20, 1979.” The Doctor sensed.

Martha stumbled out, looking around where they were now. It seemed every place the Doctor took was in someway a dump. The TARDIS landed in an alleyway, that smelled of mold and cat pee.

“Aberdeen.” The Doctor went on.

“Aberdeen?” Martha asked. “Why did the paper send us here?”

The Doctor walked towards the street, trying to find the source of power from the message. A message with that much peer behind it had to be easily noticeable, he should see it from here. The TARDIS would have parked herself as close as she could.

“Aberdeen is good.” The Doctor said. “Had a friend who lived here once.”

“Really?” Martha asked, skeptic. That friend was Rose, she was willing to bet.

“Well.” The Doctor pulled on his ear. He had remembered the friend in Aberdeen. “Not live here, exactly. The TARDIS had been a little off on the navigation back then.”

He paused, as if waiting for Terra’s witty joke. None came. He hated that most, the silence after she was gone.

The Doctor finally caught sight of the psychic trail. It led into a large dark building, blocked by a large guard.

(More)

==PC==

(More)

“Who could be calling us here?” Martha asked.

“I don’t know.” The Doctor said, giving his companion a brief look. “And I don’t say that often.”

(More)

A woman walked up to them, dressed in a black leather corset dress. Her blonde hair was held back in a tight bun, and her face was covered in makeup. Around her neck was a black choker with a metal ring attached, almost like a collar.

She spoke in a calm, sultry voice. “Welcome to Master Dominic’s House of Pain. How may we serve you tonight?”

“Hello, ladies and gentlemen!” A loud voice shouted from the stage.

The Doctor watched a man, around six feet tall with thin limbs, almost peach skin, and brown hair. The Doctor was barely able to see his green eyes. The man was dressed in a tight black shirt, long thin trousers, and black slacks.

“I am Master Dominic Chamberlin.” The man said. His tone was firm, demanding. The Doctor was put on edge just with that. Who needed saving? Who could have sent him that message? “Welcome to my House of Pain.”

The audience applauded.

The man accepted in all with a smug grin. “It’s eight o’clock, everybody.” The man said. A few men began to cheer. “And you know what that means.” More men cheered. “It’s time for the main event.”

The Doctor looked over them in disgust. Humans. Some were great, others were like this. They gave in to their deepest instincts, and treated each other like this.

“Bring in The Bag!” Dominic ordered.

At this commanded, a young woman walked into the stage. Her hands clasped behind her back and her gaze on the ground.

The Doctor’s eyes widened in horror.

“Oh my God.” Martha gaped. “It’s her.”

Her skin was pale, almost sickly. She was thin. He could see her ribs. Her Raven black hair, usually held back in a ponytail and full of life, looked dull and lifeless in the ballerina bun it was in. Her lips were pale, and frowning. She was looking down at the ground in shame, as he noticed from all the years spent with her.

She was wearing barely any clothing. A bright red lace set of bra, looking brand new, with matching underwear.

What made the Doctor horrified, were the injuries.

Bruises. In every color. Yellow, black, brown, purple. They were all over her skin. Her stomach had the biggest ones. Her arms were fresh, up near her shoulder as if someone had grabbed her there repeatedly. Her legs were bruised, with some mended cuts. It looked some people had kicked her.

Faded pink marks littered her arms and stomach, like someone had been cutting into the flesh. The worse one was definitely a thin one over her stomach, to the left of her belly button. It was old, at least ten years. It looked like it received no medical attention once she got it.

The Doctor wanted to retch. That means she was injured in such a way as a child.

To top it off she had burn marks arms, varying in sizes. Some were small, like from a fire stoker. A few were from tasers, and there was an electrical burns on her legs. The Doctor looked closer and he saw old burns on her arms, faded and at least a few months old.

It was Terra.

“The Punching Bag, ladies and gentlemen!” Dominic announced.

The crowd cheered.

She had sent that message, she had to have. The Doctor knew Terra had some telepathic abilities, and she had been around more than enough to reach the TARDIS. She had called for him to save people, but was he just saving her?

“For those of you who are new.” Dominic began. “Let me explain.” He walked up to Terra. The girl tensed, if only slightly.

The Doctor almost ran up there. She was so afraid. That man did this to her. He made his Terra sick with pain, and made her a show for these horrid people. He could feel the Oncoming Storm brewing inside him. The Doctor had to save her!

“Who are you?” Dominic asked.

“Nobody.” Terra said. Her voice was weak, and strained from disuse. She was probably dehydrated on top of that.

That word broke the Doctor’s hearts. That was the furthest thing from the truth. Terra was beautiful, stunning, and a shining light. He can barely remember a time where she wasn’t helping someone else. Terra was so important to so many, but to none more so than him.

“That’s a lie.” The Doctor stated. It took everything he had not to run over there and save her. He didn’t want her getting hurt anymore than she already was.

“Good.” Dominic congratulated. “What are you?”

“Whatever my Master wants me to be.” Terra responded.

“What’ve they done to her, Doctor?” Martha asked. “She looks sick.”

“She is.” The Doctor shook his head, growling. “She is sick. These people made her sick.”

Dominic took this all in pride. “I want you to be a punching bag tonight. That a problem?”

“Never, Master.” Terra never looked up. “Thank you for letting this useless nobody be a punching bag, Master.”

“She isn’t a nobody.” The Doctor snarled. This made his blood boil. “She’s someone important.”

Dominic just smiled. “Why do you like being a punching bag?”

“Because I deserve it.”

The Doctor growled. Terra did not deserve this. She deserved to be treated with kindness, and love. She deserved to be happy. She deserved a life with Matt, the one she craved to return to whenever she was with him.

“You bet you do.” Dominic replied, punching Terra in her stomach.

She doubled over in pain. After a moment’s pause, she returned to her early stance. Her face was void of all emotion.

Martha held the Doctor back. “Docto-”

“They are assaulting her!” The Time Lord hissed.

Martha met his hateful brown eyes. “They’ve also got guns trained on her, so she can’t run. We go up there, she’ll get shot.”

The Doctor reeled back. Sure enough, three of the guards had their weapons pointed at her. Dominic had a long stick in his belt, that Doctor guessed was an electric torture device. They had ways of keeping Terra there.

“For those who are new.” Dominic lurked behind Terra. The girl just kept staring forward, her eyes foggy like she was lost in a memory. “Let me add some background. It’s their favorite part.”

The Doctor admitted it, he wanted to know too.

Dominic grinned. He stood at Terra’s left side. “The Punching Bag used to go by a name, used to have a family, but then, tell these lovely gentlemen what you did.”

“I ruined it, like I ruin everything.” Terra said, her voice flat. “I put them in harm’s way. You tried to save them, you tried to get them to run away from me, but I was stubborn.”

“Yes you were.” Dominic said. “And what happened to them?”

“They died.” Terra said, her voice cracking near the end.

Dominic grinned, darkly. “Even her own children were put into danger. Tell them what happened to your daughter.”

Terra almost cried. The Doctor could see it in her eyes. If she wasn’t so broken, she might be crying right there on stage. “She is to be de-constructed as part of the Created Removal Process. I was foolish to bring her to life.”

He had never heard Terra speak about her children in such a way. Any time they were brought up, she spoke of them as if they were more precious than gold. She loved them, and became violent towards others if there was even an implied damage done to them.

The same protective ferocity was applied to her sister, and her friends. Terra had done many things to keep Rose and him from being hurt, most of the time it meant she herself was injured. She would do it with a smile on her face, not a dead frown. She would do it with fire burning from every pore, not with this cold icy exterior.

Was...no...this wasn’t her first day. It couldn’t be. The Doctor knew it was a dark day, from her brief explanation. This was pretty dark by his standards. But the manipulator was already wrapped around her wrist, chaining her to his timeline.

There would be a day darker than this?

“Yes.” Dominic grinned. “But don’t worry, you can repay your mistakes here.”

“Thank you, Master.” Terra said.

“Remember everyone.” Dominic walked closer to Terra. Both she and the Doctor tensed. “Nothing on the face but slaps, and no touching.”

The vile man grabbed her rear. “That’s all mine.”

The Doctor decided. Dominic would end up dead by the end of this.

==PC==

Dominic walked into his office, proud. His top guard had come to him, a silent alarm had triggered in his office. Dominic knew it wasn’t Terra, was mildly disappointed with that. He never needed a reason to beat her, but having one made her much more terrified.

He had a simple office. Well, simple for a narcissist. Dark brown walls, black tile floors, a big black desk covered in paperwork and his 70’s laptop. It was outmoded for him, but it was all this decade had.

One of his walls was Windows, allowing him to keep watching Terra’s Sunday Night Show. You could still hear her screaming, the whoosh of a whip that cracked her back. It helped when he was bored.

The wall across the window was covered in framed photos. Some were of his accomplishments, legal documents proving his power and some of the girls.

What got his attention tonight, was the man sitting and playing on the computer.

“Hello!” The Doctor cheered. “Sorry. I got bored, and this computer has Pong!”

Dominic glanced at the woman standing behind the Doctor, dark skinned with her black hair held back into a messy ponytail.

“Not many people come up to this room.” Dominic said. “The door’s locked.”

The Doctor kept grinning like an idiot. “I have a key.” He lied.

Dominic smirked. “I suppose you do, Doctor.”

The Doctor dropped his smile, instead leaning back in the big chair. It was one of those boring grown-up chairs, no wheels. He liked the wheelie chair. Martha nervously shifted in her seat, feeling a bit like a stray dog between two wolves. “Not a lot of people know who I am.” The Doctor commented.

“Of course I know who you are. Both of you.” Dominic said, glancing back at Martha. “You both mattered to her.”

Martha’s eyes quickly went to the stage, where Terra was currently being shoved down to the ground after a harsh punch.

“Whatever she was to you, I suggest you just leave.” Dominic explained. “The bitch doesn’t exactly like company, not unless I’m around.”

The Doctor tensed. “Don’t call her that.”

“Oh.” Dominic grinned. “Struck a nerve?”

“I will get her out.” The Doctor stated. His voice became dark. “You can’t stop me.”

“Go ahead and try.” Dominic challenged. “She won’t get far.”

The Doctor kept himself very calm. This man was his only way of getting Terra back.

Dominic grinned, confidently walking over the wall of photos. “She was so confident when I met her, so long ago. Now she’s as she should be, weak and at my mercy.”

“Because of your abuse!” The Doctor argued in a growl.

“Ask her about Matt.” Dominic grinned. “And you’ll see I barely had to lift a finger to whip her into shape.”

“Matt?” Martha asked.

“Her boyfriend.” Dominic said, adding an eye roll. “Her first time, if she told the truth.”

Oh, now the Doctor was pissed. It didn’t help that you could still hear Terra screaming. A part of him scolded him that he should’ve known Terra wouldn’t have just been beaten. Dominic had crossed a line! No matter how angry he had ever been at the woman, or whatever harsh words he said in the heat of the moment, Terra never should have gone through this.

She may have faults, she may have a darkness about her, but she had the biggest heart the Doctor had ever seen.

“Enjoy the show tomorrow night, Doctor.” Dominic sneered. “I plan on making her dance.”

==PC==

(More)

“Doctor?” A voice asked.

The Doctor and Martha stopped in their steps, looking in the dark cell to find a young girl, at least nineteen, dressed in a black version of Terra’s clothes. She had dirty blonde hair, which had probably once been very light, brown eyes like coffee, and very pale skin.

“The Doctor?” The girl repeated, pointing curiously at the Doctor.

The Doctor walked up to her cell. It was the one right next to where Terra’s had been. This girl’s voice was stronger, not scratchy like Terra’s had been.

“That’s me. Hello.” The Doctor grinned widely, almost like an idiot, waving at the girl. “Do you know me?”

The girl admitted. She motioned with her head to Terra’s cell. “Terra talked about you. You know, back when she actually talked.”

The Doctor almost frowned. He was positive that this regeneration took his impossibly big gob from Terra. Lord knew how fast she talked when excited.

Martha was more shocked than anything. Terra was sometimes quiet, but only when she was scared. Really scared. Martha remembered back when she met Shakespeare how quiet Terra had been once they went into that asylum. She stayed within three feet of the Doctor at all times.

The girl looked at them with pleading eyes. “Tell me you’ll get her out. Promise me. Please.”

“We promise.” The Doctor swore.

“Thank you-”

“Ellen Cassidy.” The woman said. “My name is Ellen Cassidy.”

The Doctor gave her an appreciative smile, walking over to the next cell. Martha followed, after briefly looking at Ellen’s fresh wounds.

==PC==

The door to my cell opened, far too early for Sunday night’s private dance for Master Dominic.

“Terra, Terra! It’s me!” A man shouted. A man I could never forget, even though I tried.

I couldn’t look up. Master Dominic never said I could look up. Besides, what were the chances it was actually the Doctor?

“Terra, please. It’s me. The Doctor.” He pleaded.

I flinched away, not wanting another one of Master’s tricks to attack. I shook my head. He never liked it when I spoke when he didn’t give permission.

There was a pause, and it made my heart break. It was a sad silence, strengthened by the tears building in my eyes. What was his game? What did he want? I did that dance as he wanted. Did I not do a good job? Was he giving me hope just so he could take it away? Didn’t he know I lost hope before I even came here?

“Terra, it’s the Doctor. That rude and not ginger Doctor, with the gob that won’t stop.” The Doctor’s voice went on. “Do you know who I am?”

‘Just stop, please just stop.’

“Doctor, hold on.” Martha? No. That couldn’t be Martha. Why would Dominic use Martha? I would sooner believe it was Rose with him, or even Donna, not Martha. Martha could never come here. She was better than this place.

The man in front of me got up. I could feel the absence of him, as air replaced where he had previously kneeled. What were they doing? Was I going to be beaten for something? Did they want me to react? Did they want to punish me? Master usually tells me when people get a personal session...

“She’s scared.” Whoever was using Martha’s voice explained in shushed tone to the Doctor. “Look at her. Who knows how long she’s been like this. Forcing her to talk might make it worse.”

“Martha, she’s-” The Doctor half growled.

I shrunk back. I was right. I was right, he was angry. He was a client that wanted to hurt me. They always want to. I remind them of some wife, or rebellious daughter, or haughty coworker. I was a punching bag. My only purpose was to take the punishment, like a good girl would.

“I know, Doctor, I know!” The female client snapped. “But I’ve seen girls like her before. You’re angry, and she can tell. They always can tell when a male is angry around them, and prepare against it. We can’t help her if she closes off. She doesn’t need that, she needs to know we can be trusted.”

I wanted to believe it was her. I really, really did. What if she wasn’t? She could just be one of the client’s, made to make my life even more like hell. Or maybe I finally snapped. Was this my psyche in a last ditch effort to save me? Why wouldn’t my own body agree with me? I was doomed in here.

The Doctor was never coming for me. River was never coming for me. My friends were never coming for me. I don’t want them to. I got Amelia and Rory killed. How can the Doctor forgive me for that? How can River forgive me for killing her parents? She was my wife and I murdered my in-laws. They died because I failed.

Another figure walked up towards me. I tried to back away.

“It’s alright.” Martha’s voice soothed. “My name is Martha Jones. I just want to help, alright?”

My hope came up. That was a voice filled with emotion. Master couldn’t fake that.

“Ma-Martha?” I asked, tentatively. “Is-Is it r-really you?”

Someone put their hands on my shoulder. I winced. The hands stilled, only slightly. They were gentle, not looking to bruise me. “Yes. I’m here to get you out of here, and the Doctor’s here to help.”

I flinched. No. Not the Doctor. “H-He hates me.”

Martha sucked in breath. I felt her hands let go of my shoulders, moving to my forearms. “Why would you think that, Terra? The Doctor’s your best friend, your partner in crime. You said that to me.”

“I ruined his life.” I hiccuped on a side. “I can’t do anything right. I don’t know why he hasn’t gotten rid of me yet. It would just be better on everybody if I was just gone.”

“Don’t say that.” Martha said, her voice soft.

“It’s true. My friends got hurt because of me. All I ever do is get people hurt. I failed, Martha. I failed them, I failed my family, I failed the Doctor.” My voice broke on the last word.

I never wanted to fail him, ever. He was the Doctor, and I fell in love with him. I fell hard. He was the Doctor. He loved me even when he was Twelve, the old Scottish magician with a knack for being goddamn hilarious. He stole my first kiss, and I loved it. He held my hand when I was in doubt, and was my only constant now. Story, I even gave the idiot Time Lord my virginity!

He knew the pain of losing your friends, time and time again. He knew what it was like to be alone for so long, only every now and then getting a glimpse at true family. The Doctor was the father of one of my children, dramatic little Maxy. He liked old timey (wimey) cartoons, Jammie Dodgers, making up words, fish fingers and custard, bananas, converse, leather jackets, pinstripe suits, long beautiful speeches, and don’t even think about touching his tea!

He was my friend. The Doctor was the Doctor. He doesn’t have a tank, he has a blue box that’s bigger on the inside. He doesn’t carry a gun, he has a screwdriver. He doesn’t have three heads or tentacles, he had two hearts. He is the Doctor, the man who makes people better.

Loving him, that was the help I needed. To love someone, and have them love me back. It felt so good to know he loved me like that.

And I had to go and stab him in the back. I had to go and killed the Ponds. How could I do that to him? It was a betrayal, a complete and utter betrayal.

“Just g-go.” I asked, curling my arms around myself. “Please. If h-he finds you both here, he’ll-he’ll k-k...hurt you.”

Martha gave me a reassuring squeeze on my arm, telling me what I already suspected. There was a long pause. The Doctor walked towards me, kneeling down on Martha’s level.

“You could never let me down, Terra.” The Doctor promised.

“I did.” I whimpered. “Don’t you see? I let you down. I am always letting you down. It’s all I know how to do.”

“You’re only human. Even humans make mistakes.” The Doctor said. “I don’t know what happened, but even I know that you did everything you could to stop it.”

I bit my lip to keep the sob in. He was right. What with the chapter title, and dead Rory, and the marked grave. I still could have tried. Silencio was a fixed point, and we worked around that. There had to be a way to get the Ponds out of New York.

The buzzing of the sonic screwdriver echoed in my cell. The sound of my chains falling to the floor made me slowly turn my head to try and detect where they were, eyes clamped shut.

“Terra, please, look at me.” The Doctor pleaded, cupping my cheeks in his hands.

“I don’t want you to see.” I said, looking down again.

The Doctor kept his hands on me. “Terra, what else is there to see?”

“My eyes.” I admitted, feeling ashamed that I had let myself become like this again. That I let Dominic have control over me again.

I kept my eyes shut tight as he made our faces eye level. “I see your eyes all the time.”

I shook my head, feeling comfort in him holding me. “Not like this.” I whimpered. “Never like this.”

My arms wrapped themselves around me. There were a lot of scars on my body, ones I didn’t want him to see. Not this young.

“Terra, I promise. I’m going to get you out of here.” The Doctor said.

“I deserved it.” I said, automatically. “I’m not Terra, I’m a punching bag.”

“No. No you are not.” The Doctor denied. He sounded angry, just underneath the surface. “You never could be.”

“I failed, like I always do.” I said, trying to get him to run. I would never forgive myself if Dominic got to him. “I deserve this, I earned this.”

“That...That is nonsense, Terra, absolute nonsense and you know it!” The Doctor argued. “You should be treated so much better than this.”

I shook my head.

“You do.” The Doctor argued. “You do, Terra.”

“No, I don’t.” I snapped at him. “You don’t know anything, Doctor.” I wanted to stand, but kept myself curled in a ball. My voice stayed soft in case Dominic was listening. “Dominic and I have a complicated past, how he’s treating me is nothing compared to how I treated him.”

The Doctor was shocked. “You knew him before?”

I closed my mouth, trying to look strong as that week flashed in my mind.My gaze lowered to my shoes. I grabbed my chains, locking them over my wrists. “Master is coming soon for my dance. You need to leave.”

“Terra, I am not leaving you in this place.” The Doctor said firmly.

“Master will kill you.” I said, my voice cracking. “It’s what he does. He takes the people I love, forces me to put them in dangerous situations, and then he kills them. That’s what happened last time. That’s why Ellen’s all bruised. That’s how I lost Darcy..”

Just saying her name in this instance brought back the phantom pain. The blade running through her neck, the agony of my heart turning to dust in my chest. The monster that followed after. My friends seeing me like that.

All because of Dominic.

“Darcy? She’s alive.” The Doctor said, confused.

“I can explain later.” I snapped. “Master is coming, and you need to go!”

The Doctor was about to argue, when the main doors opened. They could be heard all the way from down here. I could hear Martha inhale sharply.

“She’s right.” The Doctor said to Martha. “If the guards find us in here, they’ll kill us and her.”

“I don’t want to leave her like this.” Martha argued.

The footsteps were getting louder. “I think we don’t have a choice.”

With that, the Doctor and Martha left my room. They were far quieter than I have ever seen Ten. I heard them open the cell door across from mine, hiding in their until the guards passed.

It was a safe bet. That cell was empty anyway.

The Doctor was safe for now. But people always get hurt around me. People always will get hurt around me.

==PC==

Once the guards were gone, the Doctor and Martha snuck back into the main room. It was safer to hide in the crowd than the dungeons.

They sat at one of the booths, trying to stay at least somewhat hidden.

“Who’s Darcy?” Martha asked, delicately.

The Doctor was just staring off in the distance. Dominic and Terra had met before? He suspected as much with the backstory Dominic told everyone. He hadn’t killed Darcy or Lilac, so why were they both saying he did?

“Darcy is Terra’s sister. Her twin.” The Doctor said, almost absentmindedly. He leaned forward on the table, scrunching up his face in thought. “Thing is, I’ve met her. Darcy’s alive and well, same for her daughter Lilac. Neither of them are dead, but Terra talked about them as if they died.”

“She might think they have. Dominic could’ve lied to her.” Martha tried.

“No.” The Doctor said. “Terra doesn’t believe someone is dead unless she sees it with her own eyes.”

Martha frowned at that. She had been wracking her brain too, and one thing kept sticking out to her. “What about that girl, Ellen?”

“What?” The Doctor asked.

“What about that message on the psychic paper?” Martha asked. “Terra had to have sent it to you, but why?”

The Doctor considered it. “Doctor please save us.” The Doctor frowned. “Terra wasn’t asking for me to save her, she wants me to save all of them. Every girl trapped here.”

“But we can’t just leave her here!” Martha argued, trying to stay quiet lest security hear. “That message said save us. Terra wants us to save her too.”

The Doctor found himself glaring at Martha with such intensity that it worried his companion. “I would never leave her in here to rot.”

Martha flinched back at the ferocity Doctor’s voice, and in his eyes. Terra meant a lot to him, she had seen it in the two days she knew them. It wasn’t exactly a friendship, but Martha saw all those glances Terra sent the Doctor and vice versa.

“I’m not saying we do.” Martha said. “But, I’m just asking, how do we?”

(More)

Terra was dressed in red again. A red lace corset, a red miniskirt, and knee high red leather boots. Her hair had been pulled up into a ballerina bun, exposing a bruise on her neck.

Not one human’s could see. The Doctor only could because of his Time Lord superior biology. He could see handfuls of other bruises on her arms, legs, neck, and face. They had used makeup to cover them, hide them for the show.

The Doctor could see it in her amber eyes, the ones usually shining as bright as the twin suns on his home planet of Gallifrey. She was in pain, but she was still fighting. Terra never backed down from a fight, ever. He fondly remembered one such argument, it led to the two of them rolling on the floor laughing. To this day, the Doctor wondered how he and Terra had gotten anything done.

The music changed to add a drumbeat. Terra changed her dance in tune with it, swinging faster around her pole.

(More)

“Why, Martha Jones.” The Doctor said. “I just came up with a plan.”

==PC==

(More)

Ellen nodded, determination in her eyes. “You don’t have much time.”

“Where is she?” The Doctor asked, panicking. “She’s not in her cell.”

The young woman frowned, almost in pity. “She danced tonight.”

“We saw.” Martha admitted, feeling her heart breaking seeing Terra like that.

“You don’t understand. She never dances.” Ellen explained, worried. “She’s always too hurt after being the punching bag. She only dances when he comes.”

“What do you mean ‘when he comes’?” The Doctor asked. “Dominic’s always here.”

Ellen shook her head. “The only nights she dances are when the Tiger comes in. I don’t know his real name, none of us do. We call him Tiger because he likes to scratch. Terra turned into his favorite girl pretty soon after she showed. Like, the next day.” She ran up to the bars, looking between the Doctor and Martha. “He pays extra so Dominic will make her dance.”

“How do you know all this?” Martha asked, suspicious of the woman.

“Dominic likes to brag about Terra to us.” Ellen explained. “She’s the girl he likes to hit most, and hardest.” She tripped the bars tighter. The Doctor took in the new information, planning on asking Terra later. “Dominic picks her up after the dance, closes up any of her bad wounds, and gives her to Tiger. If you hurry, you can get to her in the med room. When Tiger shows he has her at eleven.”

“Ellen, you have to listen to me cause this is important.” The Doctor said, a wild look in his eyes. He was on to something. “Just how many of the women here are his victims?”

“Right now, the only one who isn’t is your friend there.” Ellen nodded at Martha. The future doctor’s face dropped in shock. There were a lot of girls in this place...almost thirty.

“So he took all of them from their lives?”

“Yeah.” Ellen said. “Me, I was a barmaid not too far away. Heard some trouble down the block, so I go check it out. Next thing I know, I’m stuffed into this cell. Lots of the girls here have similar stories.”

“Alright.” The Doctor said, determination in his brown eyes. “And there’s something I need you to do.”

The Doctor soniced her lock open. Ellen looked at him in shock. “What are you-”

“I need you to get as far from here as you can.” The Doctor said. He turned to Martha. “Same for you. Get all the other girls out of here and run.”

“But the guards-” Martha reminded him.

“Come on.” The Doctor said. “Gather the masses. Those idiot guards against all of you?” The Doctor encouraged. “I’d be terrified.”

Martha stood her ground. “I’m not leaving without Terra.”

“Listen, if you go in there with Terra then I can’t promise you’ll come out.” The Doctor said. “These girls need to be saved, and I can’t be in two places at once. Okay, I did one time, but it was very complicated circumstances. Actually, there was five of me in one place-”

“Alright. Fine. How do I get thirty or so girls out of a place with the same amount of guards and guns?” Martha asked. She was trying to sound skeptic, it came out that way unfortunately.

“The roof.” Ellen piped in. “There’s a door on the roof. Some of the clients go up there to smoke. I went up once, it wasn’t that far a jump to the next building.”

“There we go. Everything straightened out.”

(More)

(More)

==PC==

(More)

“The girls are all gone.” The Doctor said. “All of them.”

My head shot up. Ellen? He saved Ellen? My breathing slowed, as if finally able to take in air.

“My guards-” Dominic growled.

“Gone.” The Doctor said, in a sort of cheer. That dangerous cheer that I recognized from The Idiot’s Lantern. I don’t like it. It made me nervous. My skin felt prickly, as did the air around me.

The Doctor was angry.

“Left with the girls. Martha may have even told some of them to bring the police.”

(More)

The Doctor wrapped an arm over my shoulders, holding me close. I felt his hearts beating under my palm, making a gentle smile grow on my face.

The man chuckled, making my hair stand on end. Nothing good happened when the bad guy laughed. I didn’t turn my back, cause I knew that if I faced him I would end up killing him.

“How does it feel to know you failed?”

Oh, my Story. His words stabbed me right in my heart. The air left my lungs with the realization that he was right.

The Doctor held my hand, giving it a tight squeeze. “I’ve got Terra back, all of your girls are going home, and most of your clients are going to jail, so how is that a failure?”

“Who said I was talking to you?” Dominic hissed. I felt his eyes burn the back of my head.

The Doctor’s protective hand gripped tighter on mine. I almost whimpered, trying hard not to cry. “Leave her be.” The Doctor warned, his voice low.

“You failed. The one thing you are supposed to be good at, and you failed.” Dominic taunted.

I started to shake, my knees felt weak. My Doctor held me up.

“No. She didn’t.” The Doctor snapped. He leaned down to my ear. “You stayed strong, Terra. He didn’t break you. You never failed.”

I intended to glance up at him, but the Doctor’s brown eyes had me locked. They were being honest, they were full of love. Damn that Doctor and his emotional brown eyes.

“Then why are they dead?” Dominic said.

A loud cry emerged from my mouth. I knew exactly who he was talking about. Amy and Rory were dead. I killed them. They were dead, and Dominic knew that. I don’t know how he knew, but he did.

I killed the Ponds. I would be seeing them for decades and they had died because of me. I would see River and know I killed her parents. I would see ClaraEleven and know I cost him his best friends. I would see Twelve, and my heart would shatter.

Story, how could I face them? What would I even say? I would get closer to them with the guilt of being their killer. My special talent was helping, why couldn’t I help them?

The Doctor wrapped his other arm around me, holding me in an embrace. His duel heartbeats a harsh reminder against my own chest. Dominic was right, I killed the Ponds. The Doctor didn’t know how horrible I was. I killed his friends. Why was he being nice to me?

“How many times have you failed, Terra? Or did you prefer Frederica?” Dominic taunted. The man looked down at the podium in front of him. “She was fun. Cost this boy his life, melted right in front her.”

“Freddie.” I choked. My clone. He had been unstable, parts of him turning to goop if he got too emotional. “No. Not Freddie. Please not my Freddie.”

“Terra, don’t listen.” The Doctor comforted, holding me closer. My face pressed into his shoulder, taking a deep breath. “He’s lying. That boy is alive.”

I almost snorted. Freddie was half dead when he was born.

“Oh. Sorry.” Dominic laughed darkly. “Wrong name again. Megan Quinn. One of the BAU’s best and brightest.” He glanced at me. “How is Spencer? Still going to support groups after you got him addicted on Dilaudid?”

“Tobias fucking Hankel got him on that shit.” I mumbled.

“Ah, but you had a chance to stop it.” Dominic reminded. “Same for Aaron Hotchner, and Elle, and Gideon, and Derek, and Prentiss, and Garcia-”

“Touch Garcia and I end you!” I snapped. The Doctor held onto me, as if to keep either of us from running up and punching his stupid face.

Dominic laughed. “Just how many people have you let down, Raspberry?”

I froze. He wouldn’t dare.

The Doctor kept holding me. He recognized the name, he knew Dominic was talking about me. He knew Dominic was breaking me down.

“How are those girls of your’s?” Dominic looked at the podium. “Lilac, Cookie, and Hannah. Can you name anything right?”

“Why do you keep looking at that podium?” I asked, glancing between Dominic and the podium.

“What’s on it?” The Doctor added.

Dominic grinned. “Oh, this old thing?” He patted the side. “It shows me everything your little girlfriend did wrong. Helps with some of my other girls, keeps them docile. Terra never needed the extra kick until tonight.”

The Doctor didn’t let me go. “Everyone makes mistakes. You shouldn’t have been forcing these women-”

“They came here and decided they wanted to stay.” Dominic explained away. “Why, if some of them needed to be reminded, then I feel I have to help.”

“Really? Thirty women signed for this?” I snapped. “To be physically and mentally tortured for the rest of their lives?”

“Some people have extreme tastes, Raspberry.” Dominic said, leaning on the podium. “Those three girls. You really fucked up with those three. I mean, letting one be used as a hostage, by me? Another was attacked by a demon?” He chuckled. “Dear God, what are they doing to Hannah?”

I lashed out, trying to kick the Doctor to get him to let me go. “Don’t you say her name!”

Dominic chuckled. “She’s being sacrificed. Holy shit!”

“No she wasn’t!” I reminded myself. “We got her out in time! She didn’t die! She was saved.”

“But not by you, you huge fucking screw up.” Dominic said. “Oh. I was wondering when Darcy would show up on this thing. And damn this is a long one.”

The Doctor started moving me towards the door. “Come on, Terra. We need to leave.”

“How did it feel, your sister dying?” Dominic asked.

The Doctor tried to unlock the door. “It’s deadlocked, isn’t?” I almost growled. Dominic needs to stop talking about her.

“Some twins say it’s like losing half a lung, or your heart stops beating. Was it like that? How many times has your heart stopped?” Dominic said in absent thought. “How many times have you let people down?” Too many. “How many have died because of your inaction?” Too many. “How many have you saved?” Never enough.

The Doctor was guiding me to another door, not too far from the other one. “Don’t listen to him.”

“But he’s-he’s right.” I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

The Doctor stopped, turning to me and holding my shoulders in his hands. “No. He’s not. He is telling you lies-”

“But I have killed. And there were people I could’ve saved but didn’t.” Tears burned as the fell down my cheeks. A girl made of fire, putting herself out with her own tears. Poetic. “And no matter how many I save it’s never enough.”

“You saved everyone in this building.” The Doctor assured. “You! Martha and I would never have known about this without you.”

“Dominic only did all of this because of me.” I argued, my voice weak. “He wanted to show me that I always fail. That I can never get it right, and I can’t.”

“Yes you can. I’ve seen you do it!” The Doctor encouraged. “Terra, please, I know what you’re feeling and I know you think you need to be punished, but you’re wrong. No one, least of all you, has done anything worthy of this.”

“Really? After what happened to Rose, you still think I’m innocent? After what happened to you? To those friends you have in the future that I let die? All those lives I ruined, even before I met you. I can’t do anything right. I can’t save anyone. I can’t-”

The last words died on my tongue, but I still knew what I wanted to say.

I can’t help anyone.

==PC==

“I can’t help anyone.” The words came out as a defeated sigh.

“Terra, that’s not true.” The Doctor assured. “It has never, ever been true.”

Terra fell to her knees, her face void of emotion.

The Doctor looked at her worry. While the sadist only looked at the broken girl with glee. A gray halo appeared over head, slowly falling down her body. The parts on her body it passed became gray. The Doctor watched in horror as her beautiful amber eyes changed to dull gray.

He glared at Dominic, the Fire in his eyes blazing. “What did you do?”

The man only grinned with devilish pride. “I only heard legends-”

“What did you do?!” The Doctor shouted, running up to Dominic. He grabbed the man by his shoulders, holding him up. The Doctor’s face twisted into a mad snarl. “Tell me! What is wrong with Terra? Why is she gray? Tell me!” He demanded.

Dominic laughed. “The Gray.” He said in a dark undertone. “It’s Equestrian magic. It only happens when you stop following your cutiemark.” He tried to look at Terra. The Doctor shook Dominic’s gaze away.

“How do you stop it?” The Doctor barked. Dominic took longer than he liked to answer. “How do you stop it?!”

Dominic met the Doctor’s heated gaze. “You can’t!” Dominic laughed madly. “Equestrian magic is all based on the user! The more powerful the emotion, the more powerful the magic. She’s the most powerful user I have ever seen, and now the magic is turning on her! Cutiemark Madness is the one thing not even Terra herself can cure.”

The Doctor glared at Dominic, defiantly. He held up his sonic screwdriver. “Well, let’s just reverse the polarity then.”

He aimed it at the podium, letting it do it’s work. Another click of the screwdriver activated the mental wavelength sent the images straight to Terra’s mind.

It played her moments of greatest achievement. The Doctor watched them, smiling.

‘Terra busted open a car window, freeing the crying baby inside.’

‘Terra watched a man take photos down from his wall, tossing them in the trash. LDSK, one of the papers read.’

‘Terra held a little girl’s hand, telling her a story that made the girl’s purple eyes twinkle.’

‘Terra hugged a small girl with blue hair, watching her blow out birthday candles.’

‘In a small hotel room, Terra brushed a small kitten’s fur.’

‘In a damp dark basement, Terra held a newborn child close to her chest. Darcy stood by her side, brushing the newborn’s black hair.’

‘Two teenagers walked up to Terra, guns in their arms and military garb on their bodies. Terra stood tall, smirking at them.’

The rest of the memories had gone too fast for the Doctor to catch. The last one was the biggest. It glowed bright white, though the Doctor would later say it was pink.

‘“I love you.” Terra said into a cellphone. She smiled, freely. “That’s the first time I’ve said it to anyone. The next one I say to your face, got it Doc?”’

The Doctor looked over at Terra, notching a blush on her cheeks that she tried to hide using her hair.

“You son of a bitch!” Dominic growled. “Do you have any idea what you’ve done? Her buyer demanded that she’d be broken! You’ve ruined everything!”

“Shut your damn mouth.”

The Doctor felt a smile come on his face. He knew that voice.

“What?” Dominic gaped at the speaker.

Terra looked up at him, eyes an almost glowing amber. “Shut. Your damn. Mouth!”

Her body exploded in a rainbow glow. Once it faded, the Doctor was shocked to see to had changed her form much like his own regenerations.

Her hair looked brushed out now, falling onto her shoulders in beautiful elegant curls. Resting on her head was a golden tiara, decorated with sapphires and pink pearls. Instead of red lingerie, Terra was wearing a raspberry pink medieval dress. It had silver dressings on the bust, as well as silver tassels.

Terra glared at Dominic. For a split second, the Doctor was reminded of the Bad Wolf. Her eyes glowed that same amber, as if the Time Vortex itself was running through her head.

She ran towards the dark hearted man. She took ahold of his shirt collar, slamming him against the wall.

“Don’t you ever say that to him again!” She screamed. “No one talks to the Doctor that way! Not on my watch!”

“Mercy...” Dominic pleaded.

“Why should I? You never did.” Terra snapped. She slammed him against it again.

“Terra!” The Doctor called out.

The woman with goddess like power snapped her head to the Doctor, so fast some of her hair brushed over her face. Her face, twisted into a snarl, fell into a gentle smile. She dropped Dominic to the ground, backing away to give him space.

Dominic was sputtering. “He-He said your magic-”

“Only comes out when you threaten what’s important to me.” Terra explained calmly, almost sweetly. “And you threatened him. He’s important to me, wouldn’t you say?”

Dominic sputtered for a second more, then growled. “You won’t kill me.”

The Doctor watched as Terra raised her hands, which started to glow in a bright amber light. “Correct, dearie. Killing you makes a mess.” Terra said. “And I happen to know the best way to get rid of the dark in the least messy way possible.”

She took a step back, holding out her hands palm up. She shut her eyes in concentration. “You’re never gonna bring me down. You’re never gonna break this part of me. My friends are here to bring me ‘round, not singing just for popularity.” Her hands started to glow with prismatic energy. The Doctor and Dominic stared in shock. “I’m here to let you know that I won’t let it go. My music is a bomb and it’s about to blow.”

Her eyes opened, revealing nothing but white light. “And you can try to fight, but I’ve got the light of friendship on my side!” The dress billowed, an strong breeze somehow appearing in the room. Terra floated up into the air, inch by inch. “Got the music in our hearts! Here to blow this thing apart! And together we will never be afraid of the dark!”

“No.” Dominic shook his head. “No! Impossible!”

Terra smirked. “I think of six impossible things before breakfast!” She shouted, raising her arms above her head. The rainbow glow got brighter. “Here to sing my song outloud! Get you dancing with the crowd, as the music of our friendship survives!”

She threw her hands down, sending a rainbow blast straight at Dominic.

“NO!” He screamed.

==PC==

The Doctor had to look away when the beam hit Dominic. There had been a bright white light at the impact, like a small explosion. When he could look without going blind, Terra was back on her own two feet and in that red lingerie. A dazed look on her face, and an exhausted sway to her body.

He got to his feet, rushing to get side. The Doctor barely managed to catch her before she could slam into the floor.

In a small act of tenderness, the Doctor brushed away a loose strand of her black hair. She looked peaceful, something the Doctor knew she hadn’t had in a long time.

There was a slight shimmer on the right side of her body. The Doctor saw a strange, intricate black tattoo form on her skin. They almost like new veins, or ivy. He could only stare in slight awe as the markings appeared along the side of her body, all the way from her shoulder to her hip bone. Something about them made him feel ferocious, protective.

His finger reached out, lightly touching one of the intricate curves. The instant his skin touched her’s Terra moaned loudly. She arched her back, falling back down with a whimper.

The marks started to fade from her skin. The Doctor, previously panicking over their arrival, panicked at the absence. Terra’s skin returned to that pale skin, slightly decorated with scars.

He heard the distant calls of the police. He had wondered when they would show. The Doctor needed to check Terra in his TARDIS, with proper medical scanners.

And yet, for the first time in awhile, the Doctor couldn’t find it in him to scold himself. Not when it concerned his feelings towards her.

But...what if her tattoos came back? The thought of letting anyone see her in that state made him feel dangerous. No one else needed to see them. The Doctor knew it in his hearts that those tattoos were for his eyes only.

==PC==

I held his jacket tighter around me, taking a deep breath of the Doctor’s scent. He smelled ancient, of dust after rain and hair gel and some of his favorite biscuits. There was also the faint metal smell from the TARDIS.

Martha was by my side. She seemed a little worse for wear, at least on the inside.

(More)

“Majesty, we need to take your statement.”

I frowned. “Doctor-”

“We need to get you to the-”

“They’re talking to me.” I said, pulling myself from his grasp.

The Doctor and Martha gaped at me.

I sighed, walking over to the woman who had been calling for me.

“Your Majesty.” Tracy spoke. “My name is Henrietta.” I giggled. Of course she would get the stupidest name. “Your statement?”

“The victim is one Dominic Chamberlin.” Tracy’s eyes widened. “Keep writing.” Tracy nodded, writing it all down. “This was a BDSM bar run by Dominic. Yes, I was the star attraction. No, I was unwilling in the whole thing. Yes.” I gulped. “He did sexually assault me, every night. I’ve been here for three weeks.”

Tracy nodded. A cold expression on her face.

What was I expecting? “I was called the Punching Bag.”

Tracy scribbled. “We’ll need to take some pictures of the injuries.”

“If you want to take pictures, take the camera and shove it up your ass.”

Tracy gave me a look. “Eloquent as always.” She commented. I only smirked. “How did he die?”

The medical people pulled away the body bag, wheeling it to the ambulance. I put on a cold face. “A rainbow killed him.” I said, impassively look back to Tracy.

She was just writing on the notepad. “And who controlled this rainbow?”

I shrugged. “Rather not say.”

Tracy nodded. “I have to tell your bosses.”

My eyes widened. “No. No please don’t. I will give you twenty bucks if you don’t tell them.” I pleaded.

“You have bosses?” Martha asked.

“No.” “Yes.”

I glared at Tracy. I huffed, noticing one figure standing by the ambulance. “Ellen?”

“It’s Henri-”

“Ellen!” I shouted, wrapping the coat tighter around me as I looked at the girl I thought dead.

The girl snapped her head up at me, brown eyes wide. “Terra?”

“Ellen!” I cheered, running as fast as my tired legs would carry me.

The girl smiled, brightly. She held her arms out as I met her, wrapping then around me in a hug. I hugged her back, which was harder than you would think with a blanket on. The two of us started laughing, though I had no idea why. Maybe it was that I knew that Ellen hadn’t died because of me.

“You’re okay.” Ellen half whispered into my hair.

I squeezed her arms, the only thing I could reach with this blanket. “We’re okay.” I corrected. “Get your pronouns right.”

Ellen laughed, I joined in. It was that relieving laughter. The kind you have when that weight is lifted off your shoulders, almost like crying. She hugged me tighter, like she was making sure I was alive.

“I knew he would save you.” Ellen sighed, then laughed. “Right when I saw him I knew he was going to save you.”

I was a bit confused, until I heard the unmistakable sound of the Doctor’s converse hitting the black top.

“Ellen!” The Doctor cheered. “Hello!”

Ellen let go of my arms, letting me turn to face the Doctor. He was smiling giddily at Ellen.

I looked at Ellen, shocked. “Ellen, Dominic could have killed you.”

She gripped my shoulders, looking me in the eyes. “He would have killed you.”

I hugged her, tightly. “Please. Never do that again. I’m going to lose people I care about one by one. Don’t make me lose you too.”

Ellen squeezed me back. It didn’t feel like she was saying yes…

I knew I liked this chick.

==PC==

Immediately upon entering the TARDIS, the Doctor brought me to the med bay. Martha gaped at all the futuristic technology in here, whereas I was silently panicking over...well the shock was wearing off.

The Doctor started me off by using some medicinal cream from the 47th century on my back. It stung, but according to him it would keep any of those scratches clean as well as clean the ones already there. He also said they smelled like bubblegum, which I thought was pointless. Why have flavored cream if I can’t lick it?

Then again, future of earth, dancing.

Once the cream was done, the Doctor used some patches to cover up some of the bad bruises. They felt warm, almost too warm.

Then, Martha brought up an interesting point. My bones. Who’s to say one of them hadn’t healed properly? I’ve been hit with a baseball bat more than once, it was bound to happen. So the all mighty Time Lord of Gallifrey admitted that he had forgotten about that.

He’s an idiot, but he’s my idiot.

The scanner looked a lot like the computer Eleven used as a screen, except it was brown. As it scanned me, I sent a small message to the TARDIS asking her to hide anything about my powers. The last thing I needed was for the Doctor to see that, especially so soon after Rose. I just survived that hell, rather not jump into a new one.

The TARDIS sent back an acknowledging hum. She would do it, but only because I was uncomfortable about it still.

The scan completed, making a loud ding noise. The Doctor was

“Terra...” The Doctor dragged out.

“What?” I asked, trying to look at the screen. “What does it say?” The Doctor hesitated. “You sent away Martha. It had to be bad. What does it say?”

“How long’s it been since you’ve seen Matt?” Was what he said instead.

I gave him a wary look. “Why?”

The Doctor gaped at me. He started to smile. “Terra.” The Doctor apologized. He walked up to me, looking his brown eyes into my amber. “You’re pregnant.”

A part of me wanted to laugh at him. “No. No way. No.” I shook my head. “No. I couldn’t-” Then I frowned. It had made a bit of sense. I mean, we did have some pretty intense sex. “I’m not.”

The Doctor frowned. He showed me the screen. I could barely understand the mumbo jumbo until I found the word ‘pregnancy’.

I read the sentence twice.

‘Two and a half weeks pregnant.’

“I’m...” I gaped at the screen. “Having a...” The words were stuck in my throat. “And I...” I sighed. “My life just gets better and better.”

The Doctor hugged me. I pushed my head into his shoulder, trying not to cry. As with most things, I failed.

We couldn’t be having a baby. This just couldn’t be possible. It could be the result of the TARDIS in transit, but that couldn’t be right. That just didn’t sound right. We couldn’t have created another River Song, she’ll never let me hear the end of it. Plus the pregnancy wasn’t old enough. It had been three since I saw My Doctor.

It couldn’t be his...and that only left one other person who could be the father.

Did I even want to bring this baby into the world, knowing who it’s father was? There was no chance in hell I was going to abort it, not now or ever, but what if the Doctor found out? What if he knew that the baby wasn’t his?

This baby, it could have died in there. Dominic, with all his beatings and torments and other crap could have killed her. That was terrifying. What would I have done then?

This was all just so messed up.

I stayed still, just holding him close. For a second, I could pretend things were okay. I could pretend Martha-Ten wasn’t angry with me. I could pretend January never happened. I could pretend I wasn’t...yeah.

It was a long time before the Doctor spoke.

“Terra, the things Dominic said...”

“It was in the past.” I said.

“He said you were abused.” The Doctor said.

I pushed the Doctor away. My jaw had dropped. “No! You would never hit me! I hit my head on a gravestone, that was it! I swear! Dominic is a liar!”

Oh, it was horrifying to even think about. The Doctor abusive? Dominic has done a lot of horrible things, but saying the Doctor that he abused me in the future was just too far!

The Doctor hadn’t meant to push me, not that hard. He was angry about the Ponds, about how I hadn’t saved them. It was easier to be mad at me than himself.

Only now...he actually was even more heartbroken. The Eleventh Doctor was off on a cloud in Victorian London with the Paternoster Gang, without me. Oh Storyline, my heart hurt thinking about him alone. The Doctor should never be alone. It’s why he had them, the companions. They kept him together when I wasn’t around.

It occurred to me that the Doctor had been entirely too quiet. I brought myself back to attention, seeing the Doctor look at me with an almost shocked expression.

“Doctor?” I asked. “You really don’t hit me. Ever. You’d sooner admit you can’t fly the TARDIS.” I tried to joke.

The joke was enough to bring him back. “Terra.” The Doctor said, his voice serious. He walked closer to me. My hand went to grab his as if an instinct.

The Doctor’s hand melded into mine, almost like magic. It was bigger than mine, and surprisingly manly fingers despite his matchstick body. My hand felt like it always was supposed to be with his, like all those goofy couples on TV who were always giggling and smiling.

I didn’t want that. That was a pipe dream for naive teenage girls. I wanted something real. I wanted us to fight like a married couple, talk like best friends, flirt like we were each other’s first, and protect the other like siblings.

More than anything, I wanted this Doctor to realize it. I wanted him to know I love him, with all I had.

The Doctor seemed just as in proud at our joined hands as I was. He was smiling like an idiot, making me laugh (really laugh) for the first time in three weeks.

That thought hit me hard. It only made me laugh harder, so much my shoulders started to shake. The Doctor started laughing too.

The two of us laughed for a couple more minutes. It felt good to laugh with my Doctor. In the midst of our laughter, he wrapped his arms slowly rocking us back and forth on the med bay table. My arms wrapped around his neck, pulling us close together.

Nope. I was wrong. I never wanted to stop hugging him. I’m not one for hugs, but hugs with the Doctor felt like magic. This was magic.

“Why are we laughing?” I said, as our laughter slowed.

The Doctor backed away, officially ending the hug. I almost pouted, already missing his arms around me. He didn’t seem to be getting over the laughter, stupid Time Lord biology.

He leaned down, kissing my forehead. I smiled, letting out an appreciative hum. “I was your first, wasn’t I?”

I was a bit surprised that he figured it, almost horrified. What did that mean for us? When that night actually happened, did he only do it because I told him my first time was with him? “How did-”

The Doctor held me tighter. “You can hide a lot of things about yourself, Terra. Who you are, where you came from, and what you are.” He pressed his nose into my hair, giving my forehead another peck. “But you can’t hide how you feel.” A pause. “Neither of us can.”

I bashfully looked down at my hands. “It was you.” I glanced up at him, scrunching up my face with a fake scowl. “Plus, if I told you, it would only boost your already over inflated ego.”

The Doctor chuckled. “So, it was that good huh?”

I blushed. I whacked his chest. “Asshole.”

The Doctor paused, as if holding back. “Stop swearing, Terra, nasty habit.”

“You love my habits.” I shot back.

There was another pause. “Yes, I do.” The Doctor admitted, still pressing his face against my head.

I giggled. “I love your habits, too. All of them.”

The Doctor leaned back. He was still hugging me, so I couldn’t look in his eyes. That was the only flaw in my profiling powers. I needed to look at him to see if he was lying. “Really?”

“Yep.” I said. “Totally and completely.”

“Totally and completely.” The Doctor murmured.

He didn’t know what meaning those words had, not yet. Or, if he did know, he just wasn’t saying it with enough emotion to fully grasp.

I was gonna show him. One of these days, I was gonna show him.

==PC==

The library was a safe haven for now, at least until I could get this shit storm in my head to calm down. The TARDIS had my favorite book series, Grey Wolf Series by Quinn Loftis, even the ones that hadn’t been published yet.

I had just finished the eighth book in the series when Martha came in. I put the books in my bag, so as to keep it for later. You never when you’ll need a good book.

“There’s something that’s still bothering me about all of this.” Martha said.

“The library is bigger on the inside. Time Lord science.” I motioned to the enormous library. “Well, he says that, but I have this bag that proves otherwise.”

“No. Not that.” Martha walked closer to my watch. “It’s about...what happened.” I paused, looking at her with hesitance. “In...there.”

“I know. I was making jokes.” I said, grinning.

“How did you meet him?” Martha asked.

I winced.

“Sorry.” Martha added immediately after. “It’s just...you said you earned it because of what you did to him.”

There was a long pause. It wasn’t hard to remember, that week (commonly referred to as January) had been in my nightmares for decades.

“I was fifteen.” I mumbled, curling my fists around my bag. Martha sat next to me, encouraging me to go on. “I...I thought I was the only one...I had been alone for so long.”

“You’re an alien too?” Martha said.

I shook my head. “Closest thing I heard was a subspecies of the human race.” I mumbled. “There’s thousands of them, millions. I never really paid attention to the numbers they used.” Wow, did I really just say I missed those boring meetings? I must be going crazy. “But, for a while, it was just me. My parents aren’t like me, my brothers aren’t like me, not even my twin sister is like me.”

Looking up at Martha, my eyes had to be showing my real age. “Do you have any idea how much that hurts a person’s soul? Being alone for all of those years, with the only people who should understand you have no idea what you’re talking about? I remember trying so many times I tried to tell Mom what I was going through, and she would be talking on the phone or with my dad. They never paid attention long enough for me to tell them.”

“I’m sure that’s not true.” Martha said. “Your parents love you, Terra.”

I snorted. “Really? Cause the day they found out it was all restricted. Everything I did was monitored, reported back to them. That woman, Henrietta? The one with as much expression as a wall? She’s the one who reports it to them. I’ll never be let out of the house again, much less see the Doctor.”

Martha smiled, bittersweetly. “You really love him, don’t ya?”

My lower lip trembled. One of my hands loosened on my bag, instead wrapping around my stomach. My now pregnant stomach. “I don’t really know how to stop, or that I even want to.” I admitted. I looked up at her, adding a small smile. “Sorry for asking, but, where did we just come from?”

Martha hesitated.

“You don’t need to tell me every detail, just name a place. I’m good at figuring things out, but not so good that I can say everything that happened just because you name it.” I said, hoping it would encourage her.

The doctor in training paused again. “Manhattan, 1940’s.” She finally said.

I kept emotion off my face, but remembered the episodes she had to be talking about. The Daleks in Manhattan. Great. It was an early Martha. I mean, I could tell from her clothes but I hadn’t guessed it was that early. This is going to be fun, when I go to the Lazarus party.

Trust me, I’m going to that party. It’s going to be amazing.

What wasn’t amazing was that I had just come back from a Manhattan, where the Ponds had died.

“There, ya see?” I said. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” The sentence was broken up, choked in my throat.

“Terra, what’s wrong?” The doctor in Martha asked.

“I just came from Manhattan.” I admitted, sucking in a pained breath. “Lost some good friends in that Storyline forsaken town.” It came out much harsher than intended. “The Doctor hates me now because of Manhattan. His future self had only be sympathetic with me because he thought I would maybe find some way of changing it. I tried. I tried so damn hard and it all failed. Their future was carved in stone, a fixed point just like he said.”

Martha held my hand, squeezing it. “Terra, stop it.”

“But don’t you see, Martha?” I growled. “I killed them. I let them die. I let them die twice. He has to hate me for that. I killed his best friends-”

“You’re his best friend.” Martha stated.

“I lost that right.” I argued.

“Since when is friendship a right you have to earn?” Martha challenged.

I paused, thinking back onto some very bright people who taught me about the right kind of friendship. The keys to good friendship were; generosity, honesty, laughter, kindness, loyalty, and a bond to tie it all together. The Doctor and the Ponds had that, and I stole it from him.

“I cost him so much.” I said. “I see it every time I meet someone new in his life.” Martha looked surprised. “Seeing you, I know I cost him Rose. Seeing his tenth self, I know I cost him his ninth. The same for his Eleventh and Twelfth faces. Seeing Donna told me I cost him you, and seeing the Ponds told me I cost him Donna. Seeing Clara told me I cost him the Ponds.”

“And you saw that just by meeting them?” Martha said, disbelievingly.

“My brain doesn’t work like your’s does.” I said. “My people. We see the world like...like you see a parade from overhead. We see all the twists and turns it could take, and then see all the ones it does. We see the speed bumps and speed limits miles before you do. My people chose to let it happen, to let you hit the bumps.” My hand reached up to my heart. “I saw that, and could hardly stand it. My friends were in pain, complete agony, and I was just supposed to sit there and let them take it? What kind of human being does that?”

I sniffled, remembering all the times my friends were in that pain. Some happy memories came, of saving them from that. The Doctor’s heartbroken face after Amelia said goodbye was the biggest face in my mind.

“So, that’s why I’m here. Even if I can’t stop the pain, I can at least lessen it.” I explained to Martha. “That’s why I chose the name Terra. It was my promise, that I would watch and protect you all like a mother would.”

Martha shook her head, looking heartbroken at the revelation. “But how does Dominic tie into this?”

Clevely little butterfly, saw right through that whole speech. “Dominic used to lead my people. He had killed their Queen, and in the broken pieces of the kingdom he ruled over a portion of it.” I explained. “No one knew what he did until I came along and told them.”

“But how did you know?” Martha asked.

“Their Queen died September 17, 1997. She died in Tulsa, Oklahoma, at 2:37 in the morning.” I said. “That’s when I was born. That’s why no one in my family is like me. That’s why Dominic wanted me dead.”

Martha’s jaw dropped. “He thought you were the Queen?”

“No.” I said. “I am the Queen. She cast a spell giving her soul to me.”

Martha paused a moment, absorbing all of that information. It took her a minute. “That’s why you believe in magic, you’re proof that magic is real.”

“Living and breathing.” I added. “Last I checked.”

My friend stood up, pacing the room. “And Dominic wanted to kill you because he knew you were the Queen?” I nodded. “How did he know?”

“He knew because-” I stopped. Wait...how did he know? “Huh.”

“Terra, how did he know you were the Queen?”

“I...don’t know.” I admitted, wracking my brain trying to figure it out.

“What?” Martha asked.

“I have no idea.” I said. “That is such a weird sentence. I’m surprised I knew how to pronounce it.”

The two of us relaxed on the couch, thinking over that latest development. How had Dominic learned I was the Queen? Anyone with basic hacker skills could look the information up online, but Dominic wasn’t nearly paranoid enough to think that Danielle had been born again as me. There was no stressor. An outside force had to have told him about me. Darcy was the only one at that time who knew, and she would never have told him. She didn’t even know who he was.

“Anyway.” I said, deciding I’ll figure it out later. “Dominic tricked me into thinking he was going to tell me about our people, but instead he tied me to a chair with a gun to my back. I got out, and became a more powerful Traveller (my species name) because of it.”

Martha nodded. “You said Darcy died.”

“Getting to that.” I said. “After the chair, my friends and I broke into his building to try and bring him down. He had a plan for that, locking us all up in a dungeon. My friends were let go, Dominic just saw them as useless humans. My daughter and sister...they didn’t get out as easy.” I shook my head, unable to look Martha in the eye as I finished my story. “Darcy disguised herself to look like me, knocking me out so I couldn’t argue. When I woke up she was about to be executed.”

Martha gasped.

“I couldn’t do it anymore.” I said, sucking in a pained breath. “It hurt too much. My people had betrayed me, my friends had left me behind. I was going to be as dead as Darcy was soon enough. Why even fight it?” Another pained breath. “Twins are connected, some science says. I felt Darcy die, felt like my heart was being crushed in my chest.”

“That’s horrible.” Martha said. “You were just kids.”

“We looked fifteen.” I admitted. “I was able to get out after that.” I purposefully left out what I did to get out. “Took a couple of years, but I found a way to bring Darcy back. My daughter was safe, same for my friends. My people crowned me Queen, seeing as I was her in a past life.” I clapped my hands. “There. That’s Dominic and I’s story, right where I left it.”

My friend squeezed my hand. There was a long pause. “The Doctor was about to take me home, before we found you.”

“I won’t let him.” I promised. “You’re a companion as far as I’m concerned.”

Martha looked touched. “Really?”

“You’re helping him a lot more than you realize, than both of you do.” I explained, proud of Martha Jones later Smith. “He needed someone after Rose, and I can’t be that person because of my part in him losing her. You became that person by being his friend. You’re his support, and I can never thank you enough for that Doctor Martha Jones.”

Martha bashfully looked away. “I’m not a doctor yet. I need to pass my exams.”

“You’ll find that I don’t give a fuck.” I joked, laughing. “You’re a doctor, best doctor I know. I can’t trust the Doctor with a toaster, okay? He can’t even drive the TARDIS properly.”

Martha started laughing, too. “He is a rubbish driver.”

“Well, he thinks he’s driving. Really she’s letting him think he’s the pilot just to give him an ego boost.” I patted the wall. “A woman after my own heart.” I blew the TARDIS a kiss. The wall hummed, lightly.

“What are you doing?” Martha laughed.

“Showing the TARDIS my love.” I said, pretending to sound sultry. “How dare you, dark maiden, come between my love and I?”

“You’re talking like Shakespeare.” Martha doubled over in laughter.

“Nah, I just like Old English.” I shrugged, laughing with her.

Man, it actually felt good to tell someone what happened.

Now I just need to tell the Doctor. Yay.

==PC==

It was a week before anything else happened. The TARDIS seemed content just letting them coast in the vortex.

The Doctor was thankful, since it gave Terra a chance to heal. The bruises on her arms and legs were gone, but the ones on her stomach were only just turning a healing yellow. Some of her injuries would become scars, ones he has seen on occasion but never really knew before now.

He would admit, he had been avoiding her since her revelation in the medbay. Martha had been more than happy to take over Terra’s care. The Doctor just hadn’t wanted to see her, get himself in order.

His TARDIS had other ideas. That was how the Doctor found himself in front of the closet. Terra was inside.

She was wearing a period dress. It was dark pink (a color he noticed she wore often) with a long skirt and long sleeves. A darker pink covered her chest going down to the skirt line, brass buttons decorating this portion, as if to make it out like a vest. The sleeves ended in small ruffles, which the Doctor knew Terra loved.

Her hair was no different. She had worked it up into an Athen’s bun. The Doctor was nearly floored at how the dress looked on her. The Doctor remembered her wearing that dress before, of where she would go next. It had explained a lot, if he was honest.

Also, Terra looked gorgeous in it. The Doctor was struck as speechless as when he first saw her in it.

“I had a dream about a burning house.” Terra started to sing, leaning back against the wall. “You were stuck inside I couldn’t get you out. I laid beside you and pulled you close, and the two of us went up in smoke.” She slumped down to the floor, eyes staring off in the distance.

The Doctor listened to every word. A lot of Terra’s songs were unemotional, or just a bit dead. This one was somehow different, it almost sounded alive.

He leaned against the corridor. He didn’t want to talk to her, not while she was singing. The Doctor quite liked it when she sang.

“Love isn’t all that it seems, I did you wrong.” Terra curled her arms around herself, giving herself a hug. The Doctor faintly heard music playing. It didn’t sound like the TARDIS. “I’ll stay here with you, til this dream is gone.”

The Doctor realized something as the corridor darkened. This was who Terra really was, underneath all of the sarcasm and quotes. She wasn’t a powerful goddess from parts unknown, she wasn’t a villain in some lunatic’s dark game, she wasn’t a girl with a heart full of love. Terra was a lonely little girl, who wanted someone to say they loved her with all they had.

Terra had her powers back, if only for a few days. Equestrian Magic Dominic had said, and the Doctor was hesitant to believe, was magic that relied on the user. The more powerful the emotion, the more powerful the spell. This song she was singing as that magic pouring right out of her soul. Terra was so much older than he had thought, the Doctor saw it in her bright sunshine filled eyes.

The Doctor briefly wondered what this meant for her future self. How old was she? How much of what he saw was from this moment?

“I’ve been sleepwalking, been wandering all night. Trying to take what’s lost, and broke, and make it right.” Terra’s voice drifted back into the Doctor’s ears, like a dandelion seed in the breeze. “I’ve been sleepwalking to close to the fire, but it’s the only place that I can hold you tight, in this burning house.”

The Doctor smiled at that. There was a warm feeling in his hearts, as if the magic had poured onto them. He briefly looked to Terra, partially in awe over her. Terra was smiling fondly, eyes closed in the bliss. She almost seemed to be glowing.

Then he remembered. She was carrying a child, with a man who wasn’t him. Any him. The Doctor would eventually have moments like that with Terra, of their first time, but who knows if anything would ever come of it. This life was too dangerous for children. No little Time Tot with his eyes and her smile, his hair and her sense of humor. It was a damper on his otherwise good mood.

The child would be Dominic’s. Terra would always have proof that this happened to her, of what Dominic did. The Doctor couldn’t find it in him to blame the child, parish the thought. That child was Terra’s as well, and her heart was more than big enough to cover Dominic’s share.

“See you at a party and you look the same.” Terra rolled herself over, making the dress bunch up around her knees. Some strands of her curly black hair fell over her freckled face. Terra brushed them back, but the Doctor wished it had been him. “I could take you back, but people don’t ever change.”

He almost got up and ran in. It took practically everything in him not to barrel up to her, wrap her up in his arms, breath in the smell of Terra, and never let her go. She was saying she loved him.

Oh that darker part of him was saying that it could very well be another version of him, or another person entirely, but the Doctor just knew. That warm feeling in his hearts told him otherwise. This song was his.

“Wish that we could go back in time. I’d be the one you’d thought you’d find.” Terra smiled dreamily.

She loved him back. Terra loved the Doctor back. This emotionally scarred girl, who had gone through things the Doctor might never know, who had lost things he could never understand, loved him.

“Love isn’t all that it seems, I did you wrong. I’ll stay here with you til this dream is gone.” Terra got up, walking to the center of her room.

Then, she started to dance. The Doctor gaped. It was like Terra had become light as a feather, dancing in tune with the music in her head as well as the faint song playing in the corridor.

“I’ve been sleepwalking, been wandering all night. Trying to take what’s lost, and broke, and make it right.” Terra sang. “I’ve been sleepwalking, too close to the fire, but it’s the only place that I can hold you tight. In this burning house.”

The Doctor didn’t trust himself with her, not the way Terra trusted him. He had done such horrible things, things he could never be forgiven for. He had treated Terra poorly in some of their early days, like a traitor.

Every Christmas, she would sing any carol she knew. Terra would always crack jokes when they were almost dead. She would dress in period clothes, like she was now. The Doctor had yelled at her for it. She had only been herself, the Doctor realized. She felt secure enough with him to show the Doctor who she was.

Terra loved him, felt safe with him, which is why she had been so broken thinking she had let him down. The Doctor understood that pain. Looking back, he had let her down. He had rubbed some of her defeats in her face, practically in the same manner as Dominic.

“The flames are getting bigger now, in this burning house.” Terra sang. “I can hang onto you somehow, in this bur-”

The song faded, abruptly. The Doctor wondered if the song had been that short, when he noticed the warmth in his hearts had vanished. They had become cold, almost to the point of pain.

“Wherefore was I to this keen mockery born?” Her voice broke through his slight concern.

The Doctor stopped, instead actually looking at her face. She was facing him, revealing her amber eyes full of hurt and pain. He recognized that look, he knew that look from when it came from his own eyes.

“Terra?” The Doctor spoke for the first time in minutes. His personal best, let’s admit.

“When at your hands did I deserve this scorn?” Terra asked, quoting Shakespeare. The Doctor wondered when she had memorized Midsummer Night’s Dream. That question was pushed away when Terra spoke again. “Is’t not enough, is’t not enough, young man, that I did never, no, nor never can, deserve a sweet look at my family, but you must flout my insufficiency?”

Terra choked on a sob, apparently holding back on just completely shattering in front of him.

The Doctor stepped towards her, wanting to offer a hug as comfort. “Terra-”

“Good troth, you do me wrong, good sooth you do.” Terra continued, not even bothering to let the Doctor speak. “In such disdainful manner me to woo.”

Okay. The Doctor knew enough about Terra to know that she would never tell you what she was feeling. She would hint at it, give you clues so you could figure it out yourself.

Why was she using Shakespeare? It got his attention, if anything. It could have been her way of making sure the Doctor actually paid attention. Terra hated when she quoted and the Doctor didn’t hear it.

Why that scene? In the play, Lysander had been tricked into falling in love with Helena, who then saw it as a big joke. She thought Lysander was laughing at her lack of love, so he shoved it in her face.

Did Terra think that was what the Doctor was doing? Laughing at her pain?

“But fare you well: perforce I must confess.” Terra said, adding a sorrowful laugh. “I thought you a lord of more true gentleness.”

She had twisted an earlier line. Instead of ‘a sweet look from Demetrius’ eye, it was ‘a sweet look at my family’. She had lost her family, he learned that a while ago. He never learned how.

The Doctor had brought up her title as Queen, asking what she was Queen of. Was that it? Had the Doctor just touched a nerve? Worse yet, the Doctor remembered that look of complete pain in her eyes. The only time he had that look was-

The Doctor’s brown eyes widened at the revelation.

After he destroyed Gallifrey.

After he lost his home.

Terra had lost her home, and the Doctor had been reminding her of that loss. Dominic had done no better, talking about she had failed her family and failed at keeping them safe.

She had lost her home, as the Doctor lost his. She was a drifter, the Lonely Goddess without roots, just like him. The Doctor knew that feeling better than anyone, he should have seen it sooner.

“O, that a lady, of one man refused.” Terra half growled. “Should of another therefore be abused!”

The Doctor looked at her in shock. Something inside of him was screaming, demanding that he do anything to get that look of utter betrayal from her tear filled eyes. Terra should smile, she should be teasing him and laughing at him and calling him Lucky.

It hurt him to realize she hadn’t called him that even once since this all started.

“Terra-”

There was a beep, and Terra vanished in a bright flash of light.

Once again, Terra had left before the Doctor could apologize.