Full Circle

The

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Webley: “Welcome to my show. Webley’s World of Wonders. Miracles, marvels and more await you. I am Impresario Webley. You see before you waxwork representations of the famous and the infamous. Anybody here play chess?”

(The Doctor puts his hand up.)

Webley: “Perhaps you, young man?”

Artie: “Actually, I’m in my school chess club.”

“Could I play?” I asked, coming out of my hidey hole.”

Webley: “Ah. Follow me.”

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“84.” I said, incapable of hiding the small tremor in my voice.

The Doctor immediately took ahold of my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. I squeezed it back, letting him know I had been just as afraid as he had been. I had almost died, like really honestly died. Rose would have had to watch. Then, she would have to tell the Doctor that I died, and then anything good he had ever done to me after would have been from pity and not because of who he was.

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Webley: “Now, let demonstrate to you all the wonder of the age, the miracle of modernity.”

(Sitting by the chessboard is something covered in a satin cloth.)

Webley: “We defeated them all a thousand years ago, but now he’s back, to destroy you. Behold, the enemy!”

(Webley whips the cloth off a slightly tarnished silver coloured robot, which raises its head.)

The Doctor: “Cyberman! Get down!”

Webley: “No need to panic, my young friends. We all know there are no more living Cybermen. What you are seeing is a miracle. The six hundred and ninety ninth wonder of the universe, as displayed before the Imperial court, and only here to destroy you at chess.”

(The Doctor is scanning and investigating.)

Webley: “Careful now. An empty shell, and yet it moves. How?”

Angie: “Magic.”

Webley: “That might well be, young lady, but a single penny wins you five Imperial shillings.”

(Two tiny slim metallic bugs with a flashing blue eye are watching from a waxwork Blowfish head. Something is using them to watch the scene.)

Webley: “If you can beat this empty shell at chess.”

Artie: “I haven’t got a penny, but I’ve got a sandwich.”

Webley: “All right, take a seat. It is free of all devices, and yet it has never been beaten. Would you like to make the first move, young man?”

(Artie moves his King’s Bishop’s pawn one space. The Cyberman counters by moving its King’s pawn two spaces.)

The Doctor: “Oh no, Artie. No, don’t do that, it-”

(Artie advances his King’s Knight’s pawn two spaces. Up comes the Black Queen to end the game.)

The Doctor: “That’s a fool’s mate.”

Webley: “If you can tell me how it works, I’ll give you a silver penny.”

Angie: “I think you do it with mirrors?”

The Doctor: “Hmm. Mirrors. Clever girl. Well, let’s see, hey? Low tech. It’s a puppet. Monofilament strings, which means the brains are in.”

(The Doctor opens a door in the Cyberman’s chair to reveal a little man with a control box.)

Porridge: “Hello.”

The Doctor: “Hello.

Porridge: “I’m the brains.”

The Doctor: “Hello.”

Porridge: “Give us a hand.”

(The Doctor helps Porridge out of the small space.)

Porridge: “They call me Porridge. Oh, it’s good to be out of that box.”

Webley: “For you, Miss, an Imperial penny.”

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Webley: “I have not one but three Cybermen in my collection.”

(The exhibit is labelled The Great Enemy. The Doctor checks that they are inert. Angie looks at another waxwork, a tall man with a familiar face.)

Angie: “Is that the King?”

Porridge: “Emperor. Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, etc, etc, the forty first. Defender of Humanity, Imperator of known space.”

Clara: “He looks a bit full of himself.”

Porridge: “Don’t say things like that about the Imperial family. You can end up on the run for the rest of your life.”

Artie: “They don’t sound very nice.”

Porridge: “Go on. If the kids want to ride the Spacey Zoomer, then I can operate the gravity console.”

(Angie compares the image on the coin to the waxwork.)

Artie: “Angie!”

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Artie: “Wow!”

Clara: “Smile! Say, Spacey Zoomer.”

Artie: “Look at us, Doctor. We’re flying!”

The Doctor: “Having a good time?”

(Porridge turns off the anti-gravity.)

Artie: “I think that was the most fun I’ve had in my whole life.”

Angie: “It was (pause) okay.”

Artie: “Clara, I think outer space is actually very interesting.”

Clara: “Right. Wonderful day out, Doctor, but time to get the kids home.”

(The Doctor is scanning with the sonic screwdriver.) The Doctor: “Yeah. Er, no. Not actually ready to leave.”

Clara: “Why not?”

The Doctor: “I don’t know. Reasons.”

Clara: “What reasons?”

The Doctor: “Insects. Funny insects. I should add them to my funny insect collection.”

Clara: “You collect funny insects?”

The Doctor: “Yeah, I’m starting to, right now.”

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Angie: “How long do we have to stay here?”

The Doctor: “Not long. Have a nap. I’ll wake you when we’re ready to leave.”

Porridge: “Comfy?”

Clara: “Sleep well.”

Porridge: “Good night.”

(The Doctor turns the lights out as he leaves. Clara and Porridge follow.) The Doctor: “Don’t wander off. Now, I’m not just saying don’t wander off, I mean it. Otherwise you’ll wander off and the next thing you know, somebody’s going to have to start rescuing somebody.”

Angie: “From what?”

The Doctor: “Nothing. Nobody needs rescuing from anything. Don’t wander off. Sweet dreams.”

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Porridge: “Cybermen. Technologically upgraded warriors. We couldn’t win. Sometimes we fought to a draw, but then they’d upgrade themselves, fix their weaknesses and destroy us. It’s hard to fight an enemy that uses your armies as spare parts.”

Clara: “You beat them, though. Beat them or you wouldn’t be here. How?”

Porridge: “Look up there. That corner of sky? What do you see?”

Clara: “Nothing. It’s just black. No stars, no nothing.”

Porridge: “It use to be the Tiberion Spiral Galaxy. A million star systems, a hundred million worlds, a billion trillion people. It’s not there any more. No more Tiberion Galaxy. No more Cybermen. It was effective.”

Clara: “It’s horrible.”

Porridge: “Yeah. I feel like a monster sometimes.”

Clara: “Why?”

Porridge: “Because instead of mourning a billion trillion dead people, I just feel sorry for the poor blighter who had to press the button and blow it all up.”

The Doctor: “Clara, did you tell Angie she could go to the barracks?”

Clara: “You know I didn’t. She hasn’t.”

The Doctor: “She’s just gone in there.”

Clara: “Come on.”

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Clara: “Angie! Angie!”

(Clara and the Doctor enter.)

Angie: “She always has to turn up and spoil everything. I wasn’t doing anything. Why can’t you just leave me alone?”

(A big crash, and enter a Cyberman.)

The Captain: “Cyberman!”

Clara: “Angie!”

The Captain: “Attack formation.”

(The Cyberman moves faster than a blur while the platoon try to sort themselves out. A fat man - Ha-Ha - runs forward whilst another man with a pony-tail grabs a chair. The fat man gets swatted aside.)

The Captain: “No! Attack formation, quickly.”

(They start shooting at the Cyberman.)

CYBERMAN: “Upgrade in progress.”

Clara: “Angie!”

(The Cyberman moves through the group as if they are standing still and puts Angie over his shoulder, carrying her off.)

Clara: “Angie!”

The Doctor: “Clara. Clara!”

(He drags Clara back.)

The Captain: “That was a Cyberman. But they’re extinct.”

The Doctor: “Listen to me. I will get her back. The Captain, a word please. Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I take it your platoon doesn’t do much fighting.”

The Captain: “What do you expect?”

Clara: “What?”

The Captain: “We’re a punishment platoon. It’s why they sent us out here, so we can’t get into trouble.”

The Doctor: “Right, right, well, okay. As Imperial Consul, I’m putting Clara in charge.”

(The Doctor pins the The Captain’s insignia on Clara’s jacket.)

The Doctor: “Clara, stay alive until I get back, and don’t let anyone blow up this planet.”

Clara: “Is that something they’re likely to do?”

The Doctor: “Get to somewhere defensible.”

Clara: “Where are you going?”

The Doctor: “I’m getting Angie, finding Artie and looking for funny insects. Stay alive. And you lot, no blowing up this planet!”

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The Doctor: “Artie?”

(He spots a mini-Cybermat and speaks to it.)

The Doctor: “Firstly, if anybody’s watching this, those children are under my protection. I’m coming to get them. And secondly, little metal machine, you are beautiful.”

(He sonicks it into dormancy and picks it up.)

The Doctor: “Not even a Cybermat any more, eh? Cybermites.”

The Doctor: “Now, there’s a local transmat link open to your home. If I can just find the frequency

(Zap.)

The Doctor: “Hey, that really shouldn’t have worked.”

Artie: “Doctor, help us.”

The Doctor: “Angie? Artie?”

(Both children are unresponsive.)

The Doctor: “Webley.”

Webley: “We needed children, but the children had stopped coming. You brought us children. Hail to you, the Doctor, saviour of the Cybermen!”

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Webley: “As the battle raged between humanity and the Cyberiad, the Cyberplanners built a Valkyrie, to save critically damaged units and bring them here, and one by one, repair them.”

The Doctor: “The people who vanished from the amusement park, they were spare parts for repairs.”

Webley: “We’ve upgraded ourselves. The next model will be undefeatable.”

The Doctor: “Nothing’s undefeatable.”

Webley: “We needed children to build a new Cyberplanner. A child’s brain, with its infinite potential, is perfect for our needs. But we no longer need the children. The Cybermites have been scanning your brain, Doctor. It’s quite remarkable.”

The Doctor: “Also completely useless to you. Cybermen use human parts. I’m not human. You can’t convert non-humans.”

Webley: “Well, that was true a long time ago. But we’ve upgraded ourselves. Current Cyberunits use almost any living components.”

I jumped in front of the Doctor, the Cybermites hitting me instead.

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Story damn, this hurt!

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Terra’s head snapped up, revealing intricate metal workings on the left side of her face and drifting towards the right.

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(They get inside and she screams. Terra acquires some silver components on left side of her face. She is now a split personality. Cyberplanner Terra will be designated Ms. Clever. Resistance is futile.)

Ms. Clever grinned. The Doctor noted the cold look in her amber eyes. “Incorporated. Yes. Ah. Unfamiliar pulmonary set-up. Nervous system hyperconductive. Remarkable brain processing speed. Ho, ho. Amazing.”

Terra: “Get out of my head!”

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(Terra confronts the Cyberplanner in cyberspace.)

Terra: “Stop rummaging in my mind. This stuff is highly private!” She grimaced. “And, also, ew. I looked weird as a half robot.”

Ms. Clever: “Just you try and stop me. Ooo, who’s Clara? Why are you thinking about her so much?”

Terra: “Enough.”

Ms. Clever: “Fascinating. A complete mental block. Highly effective.”

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Ms. Clever: “Relax, relax. If you just relax, you will find this a perfectly pleasant experience. You are being upgraded and incorporated into the Cyberiad as a Cyberplanner.

Terra: “Get out of my head!” Terra argued, whacking the side of her head.

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Terra: “What is this place, a network? A hive? The changelings would like you bunch. You’re getting signals from every Cyberman everywhere. Just how many of you are there?”

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Ms. Clever: “Oh, this is brilliant. I’m so clever already, and now I’m a million times more clever. And what a brain. Not a human brain, not even slightly human.” Ms. Clever paced around the room, testing her new body. “I mean, I’m going to have to completely rework the neural interface.” She stood on top of the table in the centre of the room, holding her arms up high. “But this is going to be the most efficient Cyberplanner!”

She frowned. “Not a great name, that, is it? I could call myself Miss Clever. So much raw data.”

Ms. Clever looked at the Doctor, laughing maniacally. “Time Lords. There’s information on the Time Lords in here. Oh, this is just dreamy!”

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Terra: “Right, I’m allowing you access to memories on Time Lord regeneration.”

(The ten known faces of the Doctor flash through behind them, as well as Romana and the Master.)

Ms. Clever: “Fantastic!”

Terra: “I could regenerate right now. A big blast of regeneration energy, burn out any little Cybermites in my brain, along with everything you’re connected to. Really don’t want to. I happen to like this face. Use this me up, who knows what we’ll get next?” I looked at Ms. Clever pointedly. I even pointed my finger to add emphasis. “But I can.”

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Ms. Clever rolled her eyes, pouting. “Stalemate, then.” She climbed down off the table. “One of us needs to control this head. We’re too well-balanced.”

The Doctor watched his wife’s body move, taking notice of how her posture changed when she was Ms. Clever versus Terra Song. Terra’s shoulders were more firm, confident. Ms. Clever almost had a cliche slouch. Terra frowned just a teensy bit, in pain from the Cyberman’s control. Ms. Clever was grinning and laughing like mad.

He hated when Terra did things like this, getting herself hurt when it was almost someone else. The Bad Wolf, Chloe Webber’s drawing, Cassandra’s psychografting, the execution in Venice, the Dream Lord, Amy and Rory. Those were just the ones he remembered off the top of his head.

The worst part was that the Doctor knew why she was like that, why she always leapt headfirst to protect people. She was always too hard on herself, picking at even the smallest of her own flaws. She kept pushing herself, trying to be the perfect person who could do no wrong, who protected instead of harmed, who loved instead of hated, who was warm instead of cold. She was trying to live up to the image of perfection her mother pushed into her head.

The Doctor would never say this to Terra’s face, but he was dreading meeting her mother. As of late, he didn’t not have a good record with mothers, and doubted Terra’s would be any better. Terra’s mother had put ideas in her head on being the perfect person, of having something to live up to.

And the thing in the Pit, it had thrown all of those insecurities back in her face. It made her feel worthless, that no matter what she did she would never be as good as her mother. The Doctor hoped that one day Terra would realize that she was a brilliant person all her own.

The woman winced. “What did you say?” Terra asked, shaking her head. the Doctor was brought back to the reality that his wife was now becoming a Cyberman. “No, no, no, no, no. I heard you. Rhetorical device to keep me thinking about it a bit more. Almost had me. Stalemate?”

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In the infinite cosmos that is my mind, Ms. Clever and I were debating our precarious situation.

Ms. Clever frowned at me, looking serious as ever. “We each control forty nine point eight eight one percent of this brain. Point two three eight of the brain is still in the balance. Whoever gets this gets the whole thing.”

Terra: “Do you play chess?”

Ms. Clever: “The rules of chess are in my memory banks. You’re proposing we play chess to end the stalemate?”

“You’d play the Doctor.” I said. “It’d be a real challenge, and I bet you want that just a bit more.”

Ms. Clever thought on it, looking like she was about to agree.

“To sweeten the pot.” I added. “You can also use your mites to take over the Doctor’s mind, should he lose.”

Ms. Clever seemed a bit pleased by this offer, darkly pleased. “You’d give up your husband that quickly?”

“Believe me when I say the only way you’ll survive killing me is if you kill him too.” I warned. “Winner takes all. No one can access the unclaimed portion of my mind, and no one touches the Doctor.”

“What?” Ms. Clever gaped at my new term.

“Oh. It wouldn’t do you any good to have the smartest man in the universe dead.” I said simply. “Plus, if you kill or harm him in anyway, I blow us both sky high.”

I held out my hand. “Do you agree to my terms?”

Ms. Clever looked down at my hand, taking it in her’s. “But will he?”

“Trust me, I’m his wife. He better.”

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Terra snapped back to attention. The Doctor ran to her side. “Alright. What’s the plan?”

“The two of us play chess over the point two three eight unclaimed percent of this brain.” Ms. Clever explained, her voice detached and cold. The Doctor glared at her, realizing it was the Cyberman talking. “Terra has also offered your brain with her’s.”

The Doctor kept up his angry look. He almost hated looking at Terra’s face with this much rage, like when they lost the Ponds, but he kept reminding himself this wasn’t his wife. It was a Cyberman.

Then he realized what Ms. Clever said at the end. “She did what?”

“She claims the only means for the continuation of the Cyberiad are to take both of you after my victory.” Ms. Clever explained. She grinned arrogantly. “That fool. It’ll almost be too easy.”

The Doctor thought over this new arrangement. Terra had some agenda, offering both their brains instead of just her’s. If they were playing chess, it would make sense for him to play. Terra had gotten better, the rare games the two would play showed her improvement over her long lifetime. Offering up his brain would be the only way the Cyberman would agree to the Doctor playing.

“I accept the terms.” The Doctor said, somewhat confident in his own victory. He couldn’t lose, it would mean losing Terra.

Ms. Clever scoffed. “You can’t win.”

Her head whipped to the side, coming back to reveal a look of pure determination. “Try us.”

Ms. Clever: “You understand, when I do win, the Cyberiad gets your brains and memories. All of it.”

The Doctor: “When I win, you get out of her head, you let the children go, and nobody dies. You got that? Nobody dies.”

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They had the chess board teleported in. The pieces had moved slightly with the change of location, but Ms. Clever quickly laid them out proper.

“There. That was easy.” She grinned at the Doctor, who only gave her a challenging look back. “The game has just started.”

“Doctor, why is there no record of you anywhere in the databanks of the Cyberiad?” Ms. Clever paused, then grinned again. “Oh, you are good. Oh, you’ve been eliminating yourself from history. You know you could be reconstructed by the hole you’ve left.”

The Doctor blinked. That idea had never come to him. “Good point. I’ll do something about that.” He moved his piece.

The game continued on for a few minutes, at a slow pace. Terra had come out during the brief instances where it was the Doctor’s move, only to have Ms. Clever force her way back. The Doctor would have stalled in between moves, but the longer they spent there the longer the children were in danger as well as Clara.

Plus, the faster the Doctor saved Terra, the more impressed she’d be.

Ms. Clever was the first to restart the conversation. “The rules of chess allow only a finite number of moves, and I can use other Cyberunits as remote processors. He cannot possibly win.”

Her head whipped around. The Doctor made a note to have Terra checked in the medbay after this for neck damage. “He can.” Terra said, smiling up at the Doctor. “We know things you don’t.”

She leaned over the table, toying with one of the pawns. “For example, did you know very early versions of the Cyber operating system could be seriously scrambled by exposure to things, like gold, or cleaning fluid?”

The Doctor smirked as he realized her plan. He started searching his bigger on the inside pockets.

“And what’s interesting is.” Terra explained to the Cyberman in her head. “You’re still running some of that program.”

Her head whipped again. Ms. Clever scoffed. “Really. That’s your secret weapon? Cleaning fluid?”

The Doctor: “Nope, gold.”

(And slaps the golden ticket onto his implants.)

Terra gasped, shaking her head as if waking up from a nap. She grinned at the Doctor. “Woah! Badda booma! I needed that.”

The Doctor: “Oh ho, ho! Like a charm. Right, you, Cyber Webley, and you kid things. I’ll bring the chessboard. Let’s get out of here.”

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The Doctor: “Argh! Don’t shoot, don’t shoot, we’re nice! Please, don’t shoot. Hey, Clara, you haven’t let them blow up the planet. Good job.”

Clara: “Did you get the kids? Are they alright? What’s going on?”

The Doctor: “Er, a bit of a good news, bad news, good news again thing going on. So, good news, Terra’s kidnapped the Cyberplanner and right now she’s sort of in control of this Cyberman.”

I tapped a finger on the intricate metal designs. “She calls herself Ms. Clever.”

Clara: “Bad news?”

The Doctor: “Bad news, the Cyberplanner’s in her head. And, different bad news, the kids are, well, it’s complicated.”

Clara: “Complicated how?”

The Doctor: “Complicated as in walking coma.” (He hides behind the chess board he is holding.)

Clara: “Please tell me you can wake them up.”

The Doctor: “Hope so.”

Clara: “Other good news?”

Terra: “Well, in other good news, there are a few more repaired and reactivated Cybermen on the way, and the Cyberplanner’s installing a patch for the gold thing. No, wait, that isn’t good news, is it?”

The Doctor: “Er, so, good news, I have a very good chance of winning my chess match.”

Clara: “What?”

The Doctor: “I’ll explain later. In a bit of a hurry. Get us to a table, and somebody tie her up! Need hands free for chess.”

“And immobilise me, quickly.” I warned, half glaring at Clara.

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The Doctor tightened the rope just the slightest bit more. “Right, that’s good. You won’t be able to move, but hands free. Good.”

“Is it bad that I like this?” Terra asked, looking down at her bindings.

The Doctor paused. “No idea.” He answered. Terra paused, then shrugged.

Clara: “You’re playing chess during a Cyberman invasion?

The Doctor: “And I’m winning.”

Terra’s head jerked, her head lowering towards her lap. She tore away the golden ticket, tossing the golden paper to the ground. Her eyes were cold, hard, and glaring at the Doctor. She was pissed about that gold ticket thing. Clara gaped at her friend in concern. “Actually, he has no better than a twenty five percent chance of winning at this stage in the game.” Ms. Clever smirked dangerously. She glanced at Clara. “Some very dodgy moves at the beginning. Howdy, flesh girl. Yee-haw. I’m the Cyberplanner.”

Clara: “Terra?”

Ms. Clever: “Afraid not. Ah’m working the mouth now. Biscuits on a Friday Mornin’. Oh, you should see the state of these neurons. She’s had some cowboys in here. Dozens of complete re-jigs.”

The Doctor frowned at Ms. Clever’s terminology. Nothing about Terra was rejectful.

Clara: “You aren’t Terra.”

Ms. Clever: “No, but I know who you are. You’re the impossible girl. Oh, they’re very interested in you.”

Clara: “Why am I impossible?”

Ms. Clever: “Oh you haven’t told her? You bad boy. Oh, dear me. Listen, soon we’ll wake. We’ll strip you down for spare parts, then build a spaceship and move on.”

Clara: “More Cybermen.”

Ms. Clever: “They’re waking from their tomb right now. You can either die or live on as one of us.” (Meanwhile, her right hand is writing Hit Me on a notepad.)

Clara: “The Doctor will stop you.”

Ms. Clever: “He couldn’t even stop this.”

Terra: “Argh! Ow! Oh, that hurt. You’ve been holding back on me!”

“Enough. Bit of pain, neural surge. Just what she needed. Thank you.”

Clara: “Why am I the impossible girl?”

The Doctor: “It’s just a thing in her head. She nicknames people. I’ll explain later.”

Clara: “Chess game. Stakes?”

The Doctor: “If she wins, Terra gives up her mind and mine, she gets access to all our memories, along with knowledge of time travel.”

“But, if he wins, she’ll break her promises to get out of my head and then kill us all anyway.” Terra blinked, then winced. “She mixed up the bad news/good news again, didn’t she?”

Clara: “That’s not reassuring.”

The Doctor: “No.”

Clara: “Please tell me you can fix whatever happened to the children.”

The Doctor: “Children. Yeah. They’re fine. I mean, right now their brains are just in standby mode.”

Clara: “That is not fine!”

Ms. Clever: “Listen, right now they have a much better chance of getting out of this situation alive than you do.”

Clara: “Which one of you said that?”

Ms. Clever: “Me. Cyberplanner. Miss Clever. Now, if you don’t mind, I have a chess game to finish, and you have to die, pointlessly and very far from home. Toodle-oo.”

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“He doesn’t really like you.” Ms. Clever taunted. “He just keeps you around out of guilt.”

I made a curious face. “Well, that’s not gonna work.”

“What?”

“My husband loves me.” I stated. “Nothing you say or do will make me question him.”

Ms. Clever tilted her head. “I can think of a few things.” She leaned forward. “He knows how to get that thing off your arm.”

“But he won’t because I still have days to play.” I smirked. Ms. Clever’s confidence fell for just a second. “He told me that himself. Nothing you say or do will make me stop believing that.”

“He’s been lying.”

“Rule One.” I reminded. “We both lie.”

Ms. Clever shook her head. “Ah, no.” She leaned forward. “He saw you die.”

“The Eternity Gate.” I shrugged. “I died, came back a Time Lady.”

“Oh? Is that what he told you?” Ms. Clever almost laughed. “No. You died long before that. On your 100th adventure, so the legend goes.”

I blinked. Okay. This was starting to win me over. “I die, and the manipulator comes off.” I shrugged nonchalantly. She would not win me over. “Was probably pretty painful too. Okay.”

“There is just one thing you should know.” Miss Clever said, smirking dangerously. “The one thing the Doctor really doesn’t want you to know.”

(The CyberDoctor gets jolted into cyberspace.)

Terra: “Stop that. I felt that.”

Ms. Clever: “Of course you did. It's time to get up. Wakey, wakey, boys and girls. Wakey, wakey.”

(Somewhere, a army of Cybermen activates and marches forward from their multilevel cryogenic tombs)

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Ms. Clever grinned at the Doctor. “One little mention of her, in one little file.” She leaned closer. “The day she dies.” The Doctor’s felt his body freeze. “It was a lovely day, a Saturday. According to the file on record, she loves Saturdays. Not her favorite day of the week, but definitely in the top two.”

The Doctor glared. “Don’t you dare tell her.”

Ms. Clever ignored the glare, giving a challenging smile back to him. “Alright, but on one condition. You’re going to call Clara back in here, and I’m going to destroy that bomb.”

The Doctor hesitated.

Ms. Clever rolled her eyes, letting out an almost disappointed sigh. “Well, I guess I’ll have to tell her.” Her shoulders slumped. “The death of Terra Song was the result of cardiac-”

“Oi, Clara!” The Doctor called out, using everything he had not to sound angry.

Ms. Clever grinned. “Good boy.” She purred. The Cyberman possessing Terra’s body leaned back in the chair, resting her arms on the rests. “My move.”

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Terra: “Hey! Clara, there you are. Now, quick rundown. What’s our weapons strength?”

Clara: “One big gun, five of those hand-pulser units and a shiny black bomb that implodes the planet.”

Terra: “Yeah. Yeah, that one. Now, tell me, does it happen possibly to have a remote triggery thing?” (Clara takes it from her jacket pocket.) Terra: “Brilliant. Pass it here.”

Clara: “No.”

Terra: “Why not?”

Clara: “In case you’re not you right now. Or even if you are, just in case.”

The Doctor: “Oh, don’t worry. Ms. Clever’s hibernating between moves right now. Shush.”

Clara: “Prove you’re you. Tell me something only Terra knows.”

“Oh Clara. Clara, Clara, Clara.” Terra sighed, looking deep into the companion’s brown eyes. “I suppose I’m the only one who knows how I feel about you. How funny you are. So funny. And pretty. And the truth is, I’m starting to like you in a way that is more than just-”

(She hits her.)

Terra: “Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Yes! It’s me. That really hurt. Biscuits on a Friday mornin’. How did you know that was her?”

Clara: “Because even if that was true, which it is obviously not, I know you well enough to know that you would rather die than say it. Finish your stupid game.”

“Actually, Clara. I hate to say she was right-”

(CyberDoctor grabs Clara’s arm.)

The Doctor: “What are you doing?”

Clara: “Terra, let go.”

Terra: “I can’t. She’s got control of the left arm. Argh, argh, no! No!”

(The CyberDoctor gets the remote trigger and destroys it.)

“I should’ve thought this through.” Terra commented.

Clara: “Doctor?”

The Doctor: “She got what she wanted. She destroyed the trigger. My move.”

Clara: “What do you mean, she got what she wanted?”

Ms. Clever: “He means, good news, boys and girls. They’re here!”

(More)

==FC==

(More)

Ms. Clever: “I’ve learned so much from you, Doctor. It’s been an education. But now, it’s time for the endgame.”

(More)

Ms. Clever: “They’re nearly here. Now, you can take my bishop and keep limping on for a little longer, or you can sacrifice your queen and get the children back. But it’s mate in five moves, and I get your minds.”

The Doctor: “Take my queen, and give me back the children.”

Ms. Clever: “Emotions. Can’t you see what a foolish move that was? You’ve lost the game.”

The Doctor: “Kids back now.”

(Angie and Artie crumple.) The Doctor watched, not noticing the slight twitch from Terra.

Ms. Clever: “Emotions, Doctor, all for two human children you barely know. And it was a pointless sacrifice anyway. So, Doctor, do you think the children’s death will affect your relationship with Miss Clara?”

(Porridge runs in with the bomb. Clara and the platoon are retreating under fire.)

Webley: “Welcome to Webley’s World of Wonders, children. Now presenting delights, delicacies, and death.”

Angie: “Doctor!”

(Porridge grabs at Webley’s leg with the hand-pulsar but gets thrown off, landing under the chess table. Sparks fly from Webley’s cybernetic bits.)

The Doctor: “Angie, are you okay? Just look after Artie, okay?”

The Doctor: “Your move. But before you take it, just so you know, sacrificing my queen was the best possible move I could have made. The Time Lords invented chess. It’s our game. And if you don’t avoid my trap, it gives me mate in three moves.”

Ms. Clever: “How? How?”

The Doctor: “Oh, come on. Call yourself a chess playing robot?”

Ms. Clever: “How!”

The Doctor: “You figure it out. Or don’t you have the processing power, hmm?”

(More)

The Doctor: “What are you doing?”

Ms. Clever: “Doctor. Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor, Doctor. I’m pulling in extra processing power. Three million Cyberbrains are working on one tiny chess problem. How long do you think it’s going to take us to solve it?”

The Doctor: “That’s cheating.”

Ms. Clever: “No, no, no, no, no. Just pulling in the local resources.” Ms. Clever: “There’s no way you can get to mate in three moves.”

The Doctor: “Three moves. Want to know what they are?”

Ms. Clever: “You’re lying.”

(The Doctor picks up Porridge’s hand pulsar.) The Doctor: “Move one, turn on sonic screwdriver. Move two, activate pulser. Move three, amplify pulser. See you.”

(After a brief struggle with his other arm, the Doctor gets the pulser to the cybernetic implants on his face.)

Ms. Clever: “That’s cheating!”

(Clara, Brains and Ha-Ha run in. The Doctor sits up, and Terra is without implants.)

The Doctor: “Just taking advantage of the local resources. Ah, hello. Can someone untie her, please?”

Clara: “Do you think I’m pretty?”

Terra gaped at the girl from Blackpool, jaw dropping and rising. “Qu...Que...” She was trying to talk, the Doctor realized.

“Terra?” The Doctor said in worry. He went to her side, gently holding her shoulder. He brought out his screwdriver, scanning her. “Terra, what’s wrong with you this time eh?” His screwdriver buzzed, telling him the scan was complete.

Terra let out a wheezing noise. “Q-Queen.” She groaned.

The Doctor looked at his wife with worry after reading the results. No...no she can’t mean.

“What’s she saying?” Clara said.

“In the game, I sacrificed my queen to save Angie and Artie.” The Doctor explained.

“Wow. Great. What does that have to do with Terra?” Clara asked.

The Doctor frowned, trying not to panic. “The Queen is what people sometimes call Terra. The Doctor’s Queen.” He turned to Terra, who was starting to go pale. Clara’s eyes widened as she realized what that meant for Terra. “So, Ms. Clever installed a virus in Terra, deleting her from the inside.”

“The Cyberplanner’s killing her?” Clara asked, horrified.

The Doctor: “No. She’s out of her head and is being redistributed across three million Cybermen right now, and about to wake them all up, kill us, and start constructing a spaceship. The Cyberplanner just left a little something extra inside Terra to keep us from winning. We need to destroy this planet before they can get off it.”

“But what about Terra?” Clara asked, worried for her friend,

“Destroying the Cybermen should be enough to get rid of the virus.” The Doctor ran over to the bomb. He scanned it, hoping that there would be some way of blowing the planet. “Okay, it has a fallback voice activation.” He rolled his eyes. Just his luck, next they were going to tell him the only person who could do it was dead.

Ha-Ha: “The Captain, but she’s dead.” The Doctor thought he should just keep his big mouth shut.

Angie: “I think you should ask Porridge.”

Clara: “Why?”

Angie: “Well, he is the Emperor. I bet he knows the activation codes. Oh, come on. It’s obvious. He looks exactly like he does on the coin, and on the waxwork, except they made him a bit taller, but look, am I the only one paying attention to anything around here?”

Clara: “You are full of surprises. Porridge?”

Porridge: “She’s right.”

Clara: “So you can save us?”

Porridge: “We all die in the end. Does it matter how?”

Ha-Ha: “What do we do?”

Porridge: “I don’t want to be Emperor. If I activate that bomb, it’s all over.”

The Doctor: “And if you don’t, my wife will die in excruciating pain and agony. Isn’t that worth dying for?”

Porridge: “Doctor-”

The Doctor: “My wife is far more precious to me than this planet! Any planet! And if she dies today, I will find a way to blow this planet and every other planet in this galaxy myself.”

Porridge: “The bomb, the throne, it’s all connected. I just have to say this is Emperor Ludens Nimrod Kendrick, called Longstaff the forty first, the Defender of Humanity, Imperator of known space. Activate the Desolator. And it’s done.”

(The bomb is armed.)

Porridge: “It’ll blow in about eighty seconds. Easily long enough for the Imperial Flagship to locate me from my identification, warp jump into orbit, and transmat us to the State Room.”

(More)

==FC==

(More)

The Doctor: “Oh yeah. Nice ship. Bit big. Not blue enough. Listen, there is a large blue box at coordinates six ultra nineteen P. I need it transmatted up here right away.”

Porridge: “Right. Did you get that?”

(The officer nods and works her console. The Cyberman walk past Webley in the castle Throne room as the bomb countdown passes 11.)

Porridge: “And that’s that. Seventy six, seventy seven, seventy eight, seventy nine.”

(The planet goes KaBOOM, rocking the Imperial spaceship.)

I swayed on my feet, but the Doctor was able to catch me before I could fall. I looked up at him, smiling. “Hey.” I said weakly.

The Doctor looked at me in complete adoration. It would’ve made me blush if I wasn’t sore. He brushed back some of my black hair, holding the sides of my head. “Hello, dear.” He kissed my forehead.

“Ah.” I groaned, glancing over at Clara. “It’s like being a licked by an overexcited puppy, Clara. My head is covered in drool!”

Porridge: “Farewell, Cyberiad. You know, it was good to get away. Good to be a person and not to be lonely, or Emperor of a thousand galaxies with everyone waiting for me to tell them what to do.”

Artie: “Can’t you run away again?”

Porridge: “They’ll be keeping a close eye on me this time. That’s what happens when you’re Emperor. Loneliest job in the universe.”

Clara: “You don’t have to be lonely.”

Porridge: “I don’t. Clara, will you marry me?”

Clara: “What?”

Artie: “He said-”

Angie: “She heard what he said.”

Porridge: “You’re smart and you’re beautiful, and I’ve never met anyone like you before. And being Emperor won’t be as hard if you’re by my side. And you’d rule a thousand galaxies.”

The Doctor: “This sounds like an actual marriage proposal. Tricky. Now, if you want my advice-”

Clara: “You, not one word. This is between me and the Emperor. Porridge, I don’t want to rule a thousand galaxies.”

Porridge: “Yeah. Silly of me.”

Clara: “I’m really sorry.”

Angie: “But that’s stupid. You could be Queen of the universe. How can you say no to that? When someone asks you if you want to be Queen of the universe, you say yes. You watch. One day, I’ll be Queen of the universe.”

Porridge: “Of course, I could have you all executed, which is what a proper Emperor would do.”

The Doctor: “You’re not actually going to do that, though, are you? Oh, you’re. Hey?”

Porridge: “Go on, get out of here, all of you, before I change my mind.”

(More)

==FC==

(More)

Artie: “Thank you for having me. It was very interesting.”

The Doctor: “My pleasure. Thank you for coming. Now, I’ve got something for you. It’s not from me, it’s from the TARDIS. Ah. New phone.”

Angie: “Thanks.”

The Doctor: “You’re welcome.”

Angie: “Sorry I said this box was stupid.”

The Doctor: “Bye.”

Angie: “Bye. Thanks, Clara.”

Artie: “Thanks, Clara’s boyfriend and girlfriend.” (Angie and Artie leave.)

Clara: “Thank you, Doctor.”

The Doctor: “For what?”

Clara: “Kid’s day out. Getting us off the planet alive. Whatever you were doing with the Cybermen. Good night. See you next Wednesday.”

The Doctor: “Well, a Wednesday, definitely. Next Wednesday, last Wednesday.”

(Clara leaves.)

The Doctor: “One of the Wednesdays. Impossible girl. A mystery wrapped in an enigma squeezed into a skirt that’s just a little bit too tight. Oh yeah. What are you?”

(More)

I shrugged, pretending not to care. “Ms. Clever showed me this file.” I let the info drop.

The Doctor paused in his excited jumping about. He looked up at me, clearly knowing what I was talking about. I gave him the look, warning that he better tell me the truth. He quickly avoided my gaze after that. “What kind of file?”

I took a breath, holding back any rage. He knew damn well what file! “Didn’t get to see the whole thing.” I admitted, and his shoulders relaxed slightly.

“Ah. Must not have been that important then.” The Doctor rushed over to my side, holding my hand before I could argue. Instead, I glared at him. “Psych! Now that’s a show we haven’t seen in awhile. Want to go watch it in the movie room?”

I took another breath. “Torchwood agent, and co-head of Torchwood Three, Meredith Gafford.”

His green eyes almost turned steely, his hand gripped mine tighter, his shoulders tensed back up. The name set off alarms in his Time Lord head. It did nothing to help his case.

“Ms. Clever threw in an extra bit.” I went on. “That you’ve been on a witch hunt trying to track Meredith down.”

If he wanted out of this intact, the Doctor would’ve looked ashamed of what he had done. He would’ve felt bad, and instantly have begun apologizing for that. Instead, he squared his shoulders. He was ready to defend his position on the matter, ready to defend his actions.

“She went missing in 20-10.” I went on. My hand went to my hips, the other gripped the console and glared at the Time Lord. “No warning. Just up and left the day after Christmas. Jack wrote that Meredith had been distant before the disappearance. In his words ‘it was like there was a shadow hanging over her head, and she couldn’t run fast enough’. Wanna explain, Chinny?”

“You shouldn’t have looked at that file.” The Doctor stated.

“You shouldn’t have looked at the file from the Teselecta.” I argued. “The one that had your death day in big white letters. Why do you get to look at your’s, but I can’t look at mine?”

The Doctor frowned, sternly. That face meant nothing good. “It’s too early for you.”

“I’m on 84!” I shouted.

“You don’t understand what she’s done.”

“Make me understand.” I walked closer to him, giving him my best pleading eyes. “Tell me why you’re doing this.”

“Why do you need to know so badly?”

“Because back in my world, there was no Meredith Gafford.”

“What?”

“There is a spinoff of Doctor Who called Torchwood. Jack doesn’t have a co-head. Meredith Gafford didn’t exist, so the girl you’re hunting is one of my friends!”

(More)

(More)