Miss Independant

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“What are you doing over there?” Gray asked.

I glanced up at my brother. “Working.”

“On?” Gray pressed.

“Work.” I answered curtly. I continued working on my Plans, with diligence. These years were my best chance of some down time.

Thinking back, I had never had as much free time as I do now. Most of the Plans I wrote on Christmas were done now, so I had the rest of my universe to sort out. Oh, it was OCD paradise.

“You know the phrase around here.” Gray began. I glared at him. “All work and no play?”

“That makes Jack a dull boy. I’m cool.” I lifted up the notepad. “This is my play.”

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“It says someone named Ellen Williams is dying.”

==NE==

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==NE==

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Pulling out a chair, I sat at Ellen’s bedside. She was sleeping, looking more exhausted than ever. Her skin was pale, and weak. She was barely awake at all these days. It wasn’t because of Prisoner Zero, I had checked.

The sky turned dark, reminding me of the dangers of even being here. There was a chance the Doctor would find out I was here, and then tell Rory about me. Rory would hate me after the Doctor told him about this, about Meredith Gafford.

I wanted to tell the Doctor about me, I wanted to have him give me one of his great big hugs that never stopped. I wanted to have the Doctor show me the that I was good, that I wasn’t a monster.

But, I couldn’t. The Doctor would never give me the chance. As far as he was concerned, I was the person who told Terra to save Donna. I was the person who got Terra killed. The only reason Jack liked me at all was because I was able to explain myself to him, and Gray was a completely different story.

Meredith Gafford was a monster. Meredith was a killer. Meredith was nothing but evil.

What was I, really? The Doctor’s heart was broken because of me, because I died. Now I was being blamed for my own murder because I couldn’t lie about that to the Doctor. I technically killed myself.

Now, here I was, with Terra’s friend. The friend that reminded her to be strong. How would the Doctor see it? I was trying to get rid of any positive in Terra’s life. That way, when the tune came, Terra would give into anything I said. Putting a rift between the Doctor and Terra was the first thing to do, and Harry’s death could be that rift. Next would be to ruin the ones with her friends, her family. Ellen would be a great place to start, then the other companions. The people that Terra trusted more than anyone, so River and Jack were next. Rory would go once I had Ellen.

This isn’t even my plan, but I’m doing way too good a job at being evil.

Maybe that was who I really was. That was who Meredith Gafford really is, a monster.

“Stop that.”

My eyes snapped up to Ellen’s sickly form. She was looking tiredly at me, but with that Ellen flare thrown in.

“You need to rest.” I chided.

“Stop it, Terra, now.” Ellen argued.

I sighed. She had always been able to see through my walls. “How did you know it was me?”

“I don’t know how you changed your face, but you have that look in your eyes. It was the same one you’ve had all the times I met you.” Ellen explained. “When you think you’re a monster.”

I frowned, feeling tears prick at my eyes.

“And you’re not.” Ellen stated firmly. “You never could be.”

”I poisoned the water supply, burned the crops, and laid a plague onto your houses.”

Ellen’s eyes widened. “You did?”

“No, but the Doctor’s not gonna wait around until I do.” I joked, adding a sad laugh.

“That man.” Ellen scoffed. “What’s he done to you now?”

“He hasn’t done anything.” I defended him. “Nothing I wouldn’t do if I were in his shoes.”

Then, I explained everything to Ellen. I explained the Crucible and my part in it, I explained my subsequent years back Home and later regeneration. I explained to her all the things I’ve done to my own past as Meredith because that was the way I remembered it being done. I justified the Doctor’s angry towards me.

At the end of it, Ellen gaped at me.

“I know.” I sighed. “I think poisoning the water would actually make him less angry at me.”

“He’s an idiot.” Ellen stated.

“What?” I reeled back.

“How can he not know it’s you?” Ellen continued on, as if ignoring my comment. “I’ve known you two minutes, and I knew it was you.”

“To be fair, you’re the only one of the two who has seen my ‘guilt eyes’.” I defended him again. “It’s fine, Ellen.”

Ellen didn’t share my sentiment. “You shouldn’t have to make yourself lower, just so the Doctor doesn’t.”

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“I’ll call him tonight.” I promised, grabbing Ellen’s hand. Tears were pouring onto my cheeks as she coughed. “I’ll call him and we’ll talk. Okay? I promise. Just please don’t die.”

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It stopped, just as the Atraxi flew away.

==NE==

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“Tell the Curator I want to speak with him.” I said, keeping my head under my head.

The secretary tsked. “Who do I say is coming?”

I looked up at her, a tired but determined look in my pale green eyes. “Tell him Meredith Gafford wants to talk.”

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==NE==

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The Curator hadn’t changed since I saw him last.

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“Terra.” The older Time Lord smiled at me.

I tried to mask the pain at that name. “I go by Meredith these days.”

“You’ll always be Terra to me.” The Curator said, which made my hearts flutter.

I tried to push the feeling away. It was harder in this body. She was more emotional than any other body I’ve had.

“For my sake, please.” I asked. My voice was low, and it came out as a plea.

The Curator sighed, walking closer to me. The hand not holding a walker cupped my cheek. My eyes fluttered, my knees became weak. Body from the 52nd century, I officially hate you.

“For your sake, I won’t stop.” The Curator said, brushing some of my loose blonde strands away.

I stepped back before I could moan. Damn, I hated when Future Doctors just tore me open like that. I needed to make a Rule against this treatment.

To get us back on track, I took a deep breath to get back to my original point. “After you learn the truth, do you think I’m a monster?”

The Curator sighed. “I had almost forgotten how little you thought of yourself, back in those days.”

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