Miss Independant

It had been three days since I saw the Doctor, and I was feeling antsy.

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Peri walked in, and a small part of me started to fangirl. Peri had always been one of my favorite characters in the series. Even better, she was even more beautiful than the books described.

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It was Ten.

His brown hair had been styled back, like it had been in Idiot’s Lantern. His deep ancient brown was boredly looking about, as if wishing he were anywhere else but here. His outfit wasn’t as natural as Peri’s, it had more brown tones and some reds.

The fae looked right at me. For a split second, I saw the Doctor in his eyes. That small light of love, of endless care, of never ending excitement in the world around him. That spark faded, leaving Puck in it’s place. The fae looked back to Peri as if he hadn’t even looked at me.

He didn’t know who I was. My Doctor, mi Amore, didn’t know who I was.

Well, now we have two mates with memory issues. Mine was just going to take some more convincing.

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“What’s your name?” I asked.

Ten looked at me, bored. “Puck.”

I snorted, trying to cover it with my hand. My shoes suddenly became the most interesting thing in the world.

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“Cause you and I both know, Sally, that if she were here she wouldn’t be calling him Puck.”

Sally paused, then chuckled. “She would totally calm him that.”

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So, with all that said, I glared back at Puck. He was too proud to show that I had just whipped his ass. “There” I snapped. “That good enough for ya, Puck?”

The name came out like an insult. The fae got the message, looking away from me.

Why that face? Why, of all the faces the Story could have given him (or just plain made up like they did mine) did she choose his? The face that has looked at me with the most hate, the most disdain, the most tender love? The last face, and first face I saw in that life. The one who saved me, who reminded me that loving him was worth the demons?

There he is now, acting like I’m nothing higher than the dirt he walked on.

“I’m waiting.” I said to Puck, sitting back in my chair.

Puck didn’t even glance at me. “Waiting for what? Nap time?”

Sally shook her head, covering her face with her hands. Costin snorted.

I took a calming breath. When Doc came back, he was not off the hook for that. “Thank you, Penelope, for your insight. Though I could’ve done without the sarcasm.” I said in a voice similar to his, including the accent. He gave me a look. I mockingly gasped, my hand flying to my chest. A giddy smile was forced onto my face. “Why, thank you Pucky! It was no trouble.” I clapped my hands, the smile vanished. “I’m waiting for that.”

Puck was apparently amused by my comment. He snorted.

‘The Doctor will not.’ I recalled. The memory only hurt my heart. I pushed it away, not daring blow my cover. Storyline, this was just like Meredith Gafford all over again.

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‘I’m 597 years old, get it together!’ I scolded myself. A part of me wanted Doc to hear so he would take away the pain.

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“Alright.” I said, hopping up from my seat. “Pack, let’s go get our bitch.”

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Even though he wasn’t really in there, I was still able to read him. He was easier to look through than a window pane.

He followed Peri here because of the adventure. He was just as bored as before, being stuck in his realm with a bunch of ass clowns. It was like the Time Lords, and him being the only one brave enough to follow. Puck was bored, and the wolves were his adventure.

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“He’s not here.” I said, almost in a whisper as I sat by Jen’s side. The blonde tried to hide the small sliver of pain. “Hey.” She looked up at me. “I’m probably the only person in this entire house who knows what you’re going through right now. No hiding it from me.”

Jen looked skeptical. “How can you know what this is like?”

“Every time he looks at you, it’s feels like he’s looking past you.” I said, almost coldly. “Or worse, that he’s not even looking at you at all. So you start to pray, ‘please just see me’. You don’t even care at this point how he sees you; happy, sad, scared, hell let him even be furious at you because at least then all he would be focused on is you.”

Jen gaped. It was even weirder seeing her shocked, with her being so sickly. I still wasn’t done ranting, apparently. “And when he talks to you, it’s not him anymore. The one who would tease you, joke with you. The one who would talk to you like you were his everything, because you are his everything. The man he is now doesn’t. He talks almost like he’s annoyed with you. He can’t imagine himself with you, for whatever reason he made up in his stubborn fae head.”

Jen squinted her eyes. “Fae?”

I reeled back, unaware of the Freudian slip. “Uh, stubborn werewolf head.” I corrected myself.

Jen was still hung up on my comment. “Fae head? Just what has been going on while I was out?”

I snorted. “That’s a story for another day. Let’s get through the story of Jen and Decebel first.” I said. “Now, I told you I knew about what you’re going through.”

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“Yes Alpha.” I said, keeping my eyes down as I walked out.

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It was the Doctor. He was here. He’d come back to me! It was really him!

Before I could get anymore excited, I saw into his eyes. Puck was standing there. He was dressed in more brown than before, like the Doctor’s pinstripe suit. His hair was still brushed down, and he wasn’t looking at me. Even when Doc didn’t trust me, he still kept his eyes on me like a hawk. It’s what made the game that much more us.

They were all my Doctor, but right now he wasn’t even that. He was the Template. How long did I have to wait to have my husband back? How much did he have to break my heart?

No. I am done. Done with this heartbreak. I was 597 years old, fuck him if he thought this much pull over me! I’m an Alpha female, I’ve battled with supervillains and come out with scratches. I’ve dueled the Master and won. I had befriended the raging God of Chaos. I was the Bad Wolf herself!

I am Queen Morgan Annie Spencer! I do not get all whiny about a boy!

Time to work.

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“Did you find your mate?” Sally asked, gaping.

I stared at her, trying to keep my face cold and uncaring. Really my heart was shattering inside of me. Yes, I had found him. I spent three hundred and forty years with that breathtaking Time Lord. He loved me back, treating me with care even when I felt like garbage.

But, I lost him again. After waiting a decade for him, the Story ripped him away from me and put Ten’s face over his. Ten, the one who had been there for me after Dominic and held my hand as I died in his lap.

“No.” I said, sounding hurt as I felt. “You and I are the only two left out of the Furball Club.”

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“She’s Jen.” I said, even though parts of me doubted. “And Jen knows that if she dies a virgin, I’ll laugh at her when I join her.”

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“I’m starting to think I’m a psychic werewolf.” I cheered, laughing. “Pucky, is that possible?”

Puck, however, had this lost look in his eyes, like he was remembering something.

My smile dropped as I wondered if this was the minute he would Wake-up. “Puck?” I asked, half wanting to see him confusedly glare at me. Maybe he’d think I meant a different -uck word.

Instead Puck brushed off the memory, glaring at me. “No. It’s not possible for you to be psychic.”

He had been there. For a second, my Doctor had been there in those brown eyes. What the hell had happened to him? Did Puck force him away?

The thought that my Doctor had been ripped away from again wilted my heart. “Thanks for killing my dreams.” I mumbled, marching towards the others.

Puck coldly laughed. Well, it sounded cold to my breaking heart. “Melodramatic much?”

“I wasn’t talking about being psychic.” I spat out, not even looking back at him.

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“I never doubted!” I piped in before anyone could shush me.

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“Hello my child.” The Great Luna said.

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“Why his face?” I asked in an almost heartbroken sob. “Why Ten? Why not someone random who I have never met? Why not Twelve who I am in love with? Hell, I’ll even take Eleven!”

The Great Luna gave me a gentle smile. “Because you need to say goodbye.”

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I followed behind the two girls, watching them with concern.

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“Gavril smells another wolf.”

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“When did you get here?” Jen asked.

“I’ve been following you the whole time.”

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“This key. It has magic.” I said, holding up my TARDIS key. “No one can see me, or sense me, unless I want them to. Touch the key, lose a tooth.” I warned, hands clenching into fists.

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I growled, tossing the birds aside with a flick of my wrist. “Stupid freakin’ bats.”

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Elle held my key in her hands. “What kind of magic is this?” She lifted it up, trying to look at it from all sides.

My eyes glowed. “Can I have it back?” I asked, struggling to keep from leaping at the fae.

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“How old are you?”

I smiled innocently. “Eighteen.”

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“It was fae boy’s.” Jen said. “That key. He gave it to you, and then something made him forget you like with me and Dec.”

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“Yes.” I whispered, clenching the key tightly in my hand. “Congrats, blondie, you figured me out. Want a damn prize?”

“If he forgot you, why hasn’t he remembered it?I mean,

“You don’t think I tried?!” I barked. “I called him by every nickname I gave him! I talked about shit that only the two of us would know! He doesn’t fucking care!”

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“Shove off Puck.”

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I fought dirty.

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Puck appeared at my side, fighting off the animals with his magic. Not gonna lie, seeing the Tenth Doctor fight with magic was hot. Was this how he felt when I

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“I was told to come after the birthday party.” The pup said.

“By who?” Vasile asked.

“The shiny lady in the sky.” The pup answered. “She said her name was Luna.”

“And who are you?” Vasile asked.

The pup steeled himself. “Someone who’s lost, and wants to go home.”

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“Harry.” The pup answered. “Harry Song.”

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“Penelope Henry.” Harry answered. “She knows where my mother is.”

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Puck went to the Fae World,

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“I’ll only talk to Penelope Henry.” Harry stressed.

“We can’t let you talk to her alone.” Vasile stated. “

“Fine. Have other people. Make it another Story damn party. I need to talk to her.”

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“He says he’ll only talk to you.” Peri rolled her eyes, annoyed. “Cause you apparently know where his mom is.”

“He came to me looking for his mom?” I asked to make sure I heard it right.

Jen glanced at me. “Uh. Why would you know some random furball’s mom?”

I shrugged. “I barely remember the furballs from the mansion party last year.”

“What’s his name?” Sally asked. “He might be one of the wolves from the Gathering.”

“Yes! That’s what it was called.”

“Harry Song.” Peri answered. Jen snorted, meanwhile I was between shocked and murderous. “I know, it sounds fake-”

“Take me there.” I ordered, rising up from my chair. “Now.”

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He was dressed up like a weird Han Solo. He had black hair in a curly mop on his head, the shade matching his father’s. He had the green eyes, though they were round like mine. He had the cherub chin from my side, but the hard cheekbones from Dominic’s.

This was him. I wanted to believe it, my heart demanded that I go over and hug the boy I had believed dead.

“Penelope?” Harry said.

Wow. My son’s first word to me.

“Um. Yes. Hello. That’s me.” I nervously waved, trying to hide my shock.

‘Question everything in case it’s a lie.’ The Doctor’s voice remind me.

“Looking for your mom. Who is she, just out of curiosity?” I asked. If this was some truck, the witch using any means to bring me down or some galactic joke, there would be hell to pay.

“Terra Song.” He answered without hesitation. “Please. I need to find her.”

“Why? Danger?” I asked, keeping mind of Vasile, Peri, and Alina. “Try chasing down a dark magic wielding witch.”

Harry shook his head. “No trouble. I just...I just want her.”

I was intrigued by the comment. It was almost like something a child would say. “Why? What makes you think I even know who she is?”

“The bad man said.” Harry explained. For a moment, all I could see as the pain in his green eyes. He was scared, and alone. He was a boy looking for his mummy. ‘There isn’t a little boy born who wouldn’t tear the world apart to save his mummy.’ “He said you knew Mom, that you knew where she was.”

“The bad man?” I asked, walking a few steps closer to him. The bad man, again in the words a young child would use. He was a Traveler, could he be a little boy with the body of a man? Like how I was? I wanted to wrap my arms around him in a hug, squeeze him tight enough to chase all of his monsters away.

Harry nodded. “Yes. He’s the one who took me away from Mom. I was too little to do anything about it, even when she started crying. She’s gotta be worried about me. I want to go home.”

I remember that. The sobs that I cried when Naismith said he murdered my boy, a boy I was planning a whole childhood for.

“Penelope, do you know his mother?” Vasile asked.

“Please say no so we can move on.” Peri complained.

I gave each of them a glance. Harry was still looking at me with pleading green eyes. “I know her, yeah.”

The grown ups looked at me in surprise. Harry, on the other hand, was relieved.

“She didn’t talk about you much.” I went on. “But you were on her mind a lot.”

“Can you tell her that I’m here?” Harry asked. “Please? She thinks I’m dead. I want her to know I’m okay and I want to go home.”

I almost nodded. “Sorry, Harry. I can’t. Not without proof.”

“Proof?”

“That your the real Harry.” I said.

He was hurt by my words. “I’m not proof enough?”

“Your mother thinks you’re dead. She won’t trust her eyes, or mine. She needs proof. Question everything in case it’s a lie.” I said, feeling horrible about it.

“Sounds like a pretty shitty chick.” Peri said. “Where did you meet her?”

I shrugged. “Old friend, before the Fellowship.” I joked, turning to the boy. “Sorry. I want to believe it’s you-”

“Why not?” Harry asked, looking like his were about to start watering. “Why can’t I be enough?”

‘Am I not enough? Is that the sort of man you want me to be?’ John Smith had asked me once.

I sighed. Alina came up to my side, helping me I guess. “Harry, I am sure you are more than enough.” She turned to me. “Why would she need proof?”

The words felt like ash in my mouth. “Cause Harry died when he was born.” I choked out, feeling centuries of pain come back up. “She...She never got to hold him, or hear his first cry. She was looking forward to that.”

Vasile walked closer to Harry, making the boy submissively expose his neck. “If he was dead, how could he be here?”

My pup almost whimpered. I sent a small glare to the Alpha for scaring my pup. “The bad man said I was bad. He took me from Mom. She was crying, and I wanted Mom, but the man wouldn’t let me go. He put me in here, and I don’t know how to get out. I’ve been looking for two years, and I don’t know how. Mom would know. She knows everything. I want to go home!”

I sucked in a pained breath, unable to contain it. “What did the bad man look like?” I asked Harry, my voice small.

Everyone was looking at me, tears probably shining on my cheeks as I stared at my boots.

“Scary eyes.” Harry answered, hesitant. “They were black like the dark. He had yellow hair, and he never brushed it.”

Logan. Harry was telling the truth on that part. Logan did kill Harry, but why take him away?

“You said he put your here?” Peri pointed out. “You’re telling us he just dropped you off in the forest?”

Harry shook his head.

I was right. He was like me, a child stuck in a grown-up’s body. He must still be young, possibly even a newborn. He had been here two years, so that was it. My baby was at least two years old, trapped in a body he wasn’t ready for. No wonder he was so scared.

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“He said the Doctor was my dad.”

My eyes shrunk. “Get out.” I ordered, scared. Harry opened his mouth to plead. “No, you stay. Everyone else, out.”

“Penelope. We are not leaving you alone with this man.” Vasile growled. “Who is this Doctor?”

Hearing his name again, it felt mixed up. It was like air was finally coming back in, only to have my respiratory bypass kick in and stop it. The Doctor wasn’t here, at all.

“Trust me, please. I need to be alone with Harry right now.” I stressed. “I will explain this to you all once I understand, Alpha. Please accept that. Ten minutes, that’s all I need.”

@

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He remembered me, and the Doctor. He remembered that I called the Doctor his father.

I hugged Harry, showering him around the chest and letting my tears fall on his shirt.

“Uh. Penelope-”

“I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom to make it all better.” I sang through my tears and his shirt. “I want a mom that will last forever. I want a mom that will love me whatever.”

Harry stopped. The song was familiar to him.

“I want a mom to take my hand and make me feel like a holiday. A mom to tuck me in at night and chase the monsters away.” I was crying into his Han Solo style shirt.

“I know this song.” Harry mumbled.

“I want a mom to read me stories, and sing a lullabye.” I hugged him tighter, wiping my cheeks on his shirt. “And if I have a bad dream, to hold me when I cry.”

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“M-Mom?” Harry had tears on his cheeks, his bottom lip trembling.

I kept holding him, rubbing soothing circles on his back. My boy burst out in tears, hugging me back for the first time. Oh, it felt nicer than any hug I’d ever gotten, ever. He buried his face in my hair, while I kept rubbing circles on his back.

Storyline, how was I going to explain this to Puck?

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“She came to me in a dream.” I began. Everyone was looking at me like I was telling them something sad. “She told me about the Doctor.”

“Who is he?” Jen asked.

I shook my head. “I can’t say. I’m sorry, but I swore an oath. I have to keep the silence.”

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“Harry is the Doctor’s son.” Vasile reminded me.

“And he was nearly murdered for it.” I pointed out. “And I’m the only person in this room who even knows who he is. The secret must be kept, Silence must fall.”

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“What about Harry’s mom?” Sally asked. “Did you actually know her?”

I had to hide the urge to laugh. “Yeah. She didn’t answer her phone, so I left a voicemail. Though, knowing her, I doubt she’ll call back before shit hits the fan.”

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“So, what? We’re basically babysitting him?” Jacque asked. I nodded. “What the hell? We already have enough trouble keeping watch of Jen.”

“Feeling the love, Red.” Jen said.

“Where is he even staying?”

“Once I explained Harry’s situation, Vasile gave him a room.” I said, smiling openly. “Harry was fine with it.”

Actually, he had a lot of problems with it. He wanted to stay in my room, but I told him I couldn’t tell people he was my son. No one would believe me, for one thing. I could say he was my mate, but that would get awkward fast. There was no real way of keeping him in my room that wolves would allow.

I promised to sneak into his room at night, comfort him to sleep. It was the only reason I agreed to this, his room being close to my own. Harry had those proper newborn months, instead he was turned into a man and was forced on his own. No pack, no family, just the clothes on his hide.

Harry Song. My boy.

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I brushed calming circles on Harry’s back. The boy turned man was curled into a ball, almost whimpering.

“And you’ll love it, Harry.” I assured in a relaxing whisper. “You’ll have siblings, almost a dozen of them. I told you about some of them, right?”

“My sisters.” Harry murmured, half asleep. “And my brother.”

“Yeah. You got three more since then.” I said. “Two sisters and another brother. Blythe Ellen, she’s your sort of big sister. The twins are the newest bunch. Evelina Penelope and Scott. You’ll love them so much, Harry.”

“Are they dad’s?” He asked tiredly. He even ended it in a yawn.

I smiled, kissing his forehead. “Yes. All three of them.”

He looked up at me, curling tighter in a ball. “Do you like them more than me?”

The question surprised me. If the Doctor had said that, or Puck, I would’ve slapped them so hard Jackie would wince. I wrapped my arms around him, brushing circles on his back.

“Harold Idris Song. I gave you those name because you are so unbelievably important. Harold, after Harold Saxon. Idris, after the TARDIS. Song, after River Song. Those are the people most important to my life.”

Harry was confused by that. “But what about Dad?”

“H. I. S. His. You’re his, and mine.” I explained.

My boy cuddled closer to me, one of his arms wrapping around my waist. “I love you, Mommy.”

‘And just like that, my heart melted.’ “I love you, wolf pup.”

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“How much longer do you have to stay?” He said low.

My eyes watered. “Five minutes.”

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Now, I sat in a clearing in a pixie filled forest. Puck was very, very far away.

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It was easier to ignore him than I thought. He was just another annoying guy, or at least that was what I told myself. Puck was a pretty cool guy, once you got over the fact that he was an annoying fae.

I missed my Doctor now more than ever.

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He looked at Penelope, and he just felt this instant need to keep her safe. It wasn’t just that she was one of Peri’s wolves, or that she hadn’t been wearing an appropriate coat for this weather, it was just this feeling in his chest. She was the only thing Puck could focus on.

Puck didn’t admit it to himself, but he loved the she-wolf.

She spoke, oh the first time he heard her voice. It was deep, soothing. It took him a second to realize she had asked for his name.

“Puck.” He had said.

Then she laughed. Her laughs were as beautiful as the rest of her. She turned and told her friend that joke, and Puck learned of her unique sense of humor.

“What’s your name?” Puck had asked her back.

“Penelope.” She answered, still chuckling at his name.

The word soon filled him with what he could only describe as light. Days went on, but Puck hid his true feelings from her. She had been somewhat friendly towards him, and whether she was flirting or plain teasing his never could tell.

He had been having the weirdest memory flashes, of things he could not possibly have remembered.

They were of him and Penelope, well, he thought it was Penelope. Puck would see a girl-sometimes a woman-with black hair. She would be singing, or telling a joke, or just smiling at him and it lit up Puck’s world. She called him Doctor, and he called her Terra.

Just thinking her name brought up so many memories in Puck’s mind. Of Terra and him dancing, of him and Terra running to danger, of Terra grabbing him by his tie and kissing the air out of his lungs.

He remembered when they had come strongest. Penelope had joked about being psychic. It brought a memory of him and Terra, standing in a Roman villa. She was dressed in the finest cloth, hair pulled up into a bun, adorned in golden jewels. Her amber eyes were faded off, like the oracles of the past.

Puck had been pulled out harshly, so he snapped at Penelope. The girl had looked at him like he kicked a puppy.

That had changed their strange enough relationship. The teases stopped, the little smiles stopped, the nicknames stopped, the strange offbeat jokes stopped. Penelope had been more interested in her friends than him. Puck knew this was deliberate, that Penelope would hold him out that far if Puck had done something to earn it. He didn’t know how he knew that, he just did.

Penelope had full of control of his heart once she revealed that key. “I know what it’s like. It’s like, when you fancy somebody and they don’t even know you exist.” That had been the memory that had come to him. His voice, but he had never said the thing before in his life. Point was, Penelope had no idea he existed. Puck was falling in love with her, finding it harder and harder to be away, and she hadn’t given him the time of day.

That had been weeks ago, almost months.

Now they could have mates.

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Puck saw Penelope, and he remembered everything. Terra was real, and she was Penelope. The Doctor was real, and it was him.

He felt his consciousness merge with the Doctor’s, the Time Lord quickly overpowering him. The Doctor thought it was like waking up from a chameleon circuit.

He shook his arms a bit to get out the nerves. He recognized some of this body, hating the idea. It was his tenth face? Terra must have loved that, he thought with a eye roll. The Doctor missed his so called magician’s wear, in place of this red and brown mess.

The Time Lord turned Fae looked back out into the Pixie clearing, trying to remember where in the stories he was. The Doctor reading the books Terra had left behind when he abandoned her with Clara. They were all he actually had of his wife, but they spent decades gathering dust in her old Planning room.

Pixies. Forest. Somewhere in that fifth book. He was there, teleporting after hearing something about mates. So near the end of book five. That’s wonderful.

The Doctor tried to identify the other people in the clearing. It was incredibly difficult with only descriptions. The Alpha, Vasile, and his mate, Alina. Their son, Fane, and his mate, Jacque. The single one, Crina. The older gypsy healer and her boyfriend.

Then, her.

Penelope/Terra had her hair brushed up into a bun, exposing her neck to the cold air. She had on thick brown boots, black leggings, a pink sweater, a white scarf, and her usual messenger bag. She was shivering, though only just.

The Doctor knew she liked the cold, three hundred years on Trenzalore proved that. She had worn warm clothing, though only enough so she wouldn’t constantly be sick. She had always said it took less time to undress for him.

There was something off about her. She had her bag, she had her TARDIS key, she had her infinity necklace, and she had-

She had tears in her eyes. She wasn’t shivering from the cold, she was shaking from her sobs. Penelope/Terra never cried in public, only when she was with the Doctor. She only cried it public when it was too much to hold in.

Jacque, the red haired friend of Penelope/Terra, came to her side. “Penelope? What are you feeling?” She put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, only to have Penelope/Terra flinch away.

The Doctor didn’t like that. Having anyone that wasn’t him by her side drove him nuts. He was the only one Terra came to when she was crying, and the same for him.

Penelope/Terra let out another choked sob. She pressed her jacket to her face to soak up the tears. “He’s right there, but he doesn’t see me. He sees her.” Penelope/Terra cried.

She sucked in a sob before it could come out.

“What do you mean, Penelope?” Jacque asked.

“I want him back. I want my mate back.” Penelope/Terra hiccuped. “He left me behind again. Why does he always leave me?”

‘No.’ The Doctor thought. ‘No. I always see you. When have I not seen you? You, my Morgan.’

Penelope/Terra paused in her crying. She sat up, almost hopeful. ‘Pondar?’

Her voice, it felt like a drop of water in a burning desert. It was even better to hear his real name from her. The Doctor let out a breath he hadn’t even known he was holding in. Whatever these fae were, they had no respiratory bypass did they? How rubbish was that?

‘I love you. How could I not?’ The Doctor thought to her. ‘I love it when you sing, when you dance, when you joke, when you scream and swear at me. Oh, I missed that most.’

Her tears stopped, the only from sadness. ‘Is it really you? Please tell me I haven’t actually gone crazy here.’

The Doctor chuckled. ‘What is it you say? You were born crazy, dear.’

They were happy tears now. She was smiling beneath her sweater sleeve.

The gypsy healer-Rachael, the Doctor remembered-came up behind her. The Time Lord held back the urge to pounce out and attack her.

Penelope/Terra yanked herself out of the hug. She glared at the she-healer. “Stop. Hugging. Me.”

‘You still there?’ She called out to him.

‘Never left, Morgan.’ The Doctor found himself smiling a bit at her worry. She always worried about him, it was how she felt about everyone.

This was apparently just the right thing she needed. Well, maybe not right to everyone else. Penelope/Terra fell to the grass, cradling her arms around herself. She started crying again, happy or sad he could only guess.

==MI==

He was awake. He was awake!

I heard more things happen around me, though I tuned them out. The Doctor had come back to me. Happy tears poured from my eyes, only coming out because of the pixie magic in the air. It was just so…good.

The forest air lifted, making it easier to breath. I had stopped crying, wiping the tears away with my sweater.

There was a warm body walking to mine. I felt the lump in my throat fall away, leaving only peace. I smiled, contently, as a hand rested softly on my cheek.

“All better?” My Doctor asked, keeping a firm hold of my cheek.

Both of my hands grabbed his, squeezing it tightly. I smiled, feeling like I could float away I was so light. “Yes. Yes. All better.”

The Doctor grinned, that dumb grin Ten had. I couldn’t stop that teary laugh that came out. “No no no, oh please no crying again. I couldn’t take it a second time.”

My arms went out, wrapping around his torso. I pressed my face into his neck, taking a deep breath of pure Doctor in a fae body. ‘Petrichor and copper. Holy crap, why is there not a candle of this?’

“Morgan?” The Doctor whispered. His arms wrapped around me. He pressed his face to the side of my head, almost kissing my ear. “Please tell me you’re okay. I need to know.”

‘Please just let me hold my mate.’ I pleaded, not letting him go for anything.

The Doctor shuddered. “Good god. Say that again.”

I let out a relaxed sigh. ‘Let me hold my mate.’

The Doctor just held me tighter. ‘Oh, I needed you in my mind again, Morgan. I missed you so much. I am not going to let you go now. Never again.’

I snuggled up to him, feeling a small loss at the lack of two hearts beneath that very firm chest. ‘Good. I’d kill you if you did.’

‘I would let you.’ The Doctor joked.

The two of us laughed, having forgotten we were in the exact opposite of a private place.

“Penelope?” Jacque asked me.

“Busy. Leave a message.” I mumbled into the Doctor’s shoulder. My mate laughed.

“Penelope.” The way the Doctor said the name made me sigh happily. It wasn’t my name, but it was here and that made it all the more special. Does that make sense? Probably not, I wasn’t thinking with this brain.

“How can this be?” The other single wolf, Crina, asked the Alpha. Oh yeah. She had a fae-boy too.

The Doctor hadn’t let me go, not even a little bit. It was getting uncomfortable on the dirt.

‘Can we please go over to sit on a log?’ I asked him. ‘I love you, but these are my good winter pants.’

The Doctor rolled his now brown eyes. ‘You always worry about lesser things.’

‘Alright. I’ll just go change into different pants.’ I tried to stand up, only to be lifted up bridal style.

‘Logs sound like a perfect idea.’ The Doctor thought, moving me to my previous seat.

I smirked. “I won.” I bragged. He lowered us to the bench, but kept us in his lap.

The Doctor scoffed. “I let you.”

“Sure.” I lightly clapped on his cheek, pouting playfully. “Right, I believe you.”

The Doctor rolled his eyes, making me snort. The sure to be sarcastic reply was stopped by Vasile’s statement of “We need to talk.”

==MI==

The Doctor and I ignored Vasile’s speech, choosing instead to talk mentally. It was small stuff at first, like me telling him all the fun times I had with Puck.

Then, came reteaching him some of the Fae Magic. It had been awkward to do with everyone else around, especially the part on keeping it hidden. The Doctor had been a fun student, although he denied ever being such a thing.

Once Vasile speech had stopped, the Doctor immediately cradled me up in his arms again. He took me off to deeper in the forest, not bothering to explain to the others.

“Be right back!” I shouted to them. “Or not, there’s no telling with him!”

The Doctor gave me a look, making me snicker. ‘Honestly, I can’t take you anywhere.’

(More)

“I’m so sorry.” I started to cry. “It’s so bad, Amoré. It’s so bad.”

The Doctor brushed away my tears. “What happens?”

I sobbed on his chest. “The males all go to the In Between.”

Puck’s memories had taken their effect, because the Doctor pulled me so tightly to him I felt bones creak. The Doctor pushed his face into my neck, the same side as my mark. He breathed in my scent.

“No.” He said. Ten’s voice making it sound stern.

“You’ll get lost in the In Between, for a week!” I sobbed, letting myself be exposed in his arms.

“None of it is real.” The Doctor said. “It won’t be happening. You’ll be here, safe.”

I snorted, a bit angry. “Yeah? You think you can last a week of seeing your worst fears play out before your eyes?”

(More)

==MI==

(More)

It had been complete hell.

Jacque and Morgan had both gone into the lake. The Doctor could still remember the exact moment Morgan knew she was going to follow her red haired friend. The look of pure terror she had given the Doctor, the dismay he had felt over their newly formed bond. She only said one sentence, and he knew she wasn’t going to be there. ‘Be my Doctor.’ It was horrible.

Then, the look and dismay vanished. Morgan was smiling, the smile was too soft to be real. The Doctor watched as she danced away from the group, following after her. She didn’t hear him calling out, she didn’t stop in her dancing, even when she was too deep in the water to move properly she didn’t seem phased.

That was when the cold came back. They had only been reunited for a few short minutes, but to have his mind empty again was agony.

Morgan had come back from the lake, coughing and gagging. She had gotten three steps out, nearly falling to the ground under the sleeping curse. The Doctor caught her in his arms, brushing away her wet brown locks.

“Penelope. Penelope!” He pleaded, using the fake name. “Come on. Wake up.” Her eyes stayed shut, like she was asleep. “You’re clothes are ruined. You’ll have to change.”

Nothing. Not even a little twitch. Morgan was stuck under that spell. The Doctor tried to reach her with his mind, but there was nothing but cold.

He demanded whatever creatures dragged his mate down there bring her back up. He did not reunite with his wife to have her snatched away again. No one took away the Doctor’s wife!

The pixie king, the Doctor didn’t care for his name, demanded all the males of the group follow him. The Doctor saw all of Morgan’s friends collapse to the ground in pain, including the pregnant one. He could practically hear Morgan screaming in his ear to save them.

He didn’t have any control of the Fae magic he had in this universe, which was bad news to the pixies. The Doctor almost unleashed it all out onto them, until he remembered Morgan’s last plea. He couldn’t unleash magic he didn’t understand, it could kill everyone in the clearing. So he held his magic in, using it only to attack the ones attacking him first. Then, it wasn’t his fault.

It was all for not. The pixie king trapped them in magic, saying it was pointless. The others males could say goodbye to their females, and then go to the In Between.

The Doctor didn’t have anyone to say goodbye to. He knelt by Morgan, taking her scarf to wrap it over her bun hair. She had always been self conscious about her hair.

That fae female, Peri, had come up. Apparently they were friends. He didn’t know why. He couldn’t see him around anyone who wasn’t Morgan.

“Puck, I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through-” She tried to comfort him.

“So don’t try.” The Doctor snapped. Really? My name is Puck? No wonder Morgan was laughing all the time. She knows how much I like Shakespeare.

He brushed a hand over her cheek. Her skin was still damp from the lake, and the cold air hadn’t done much good either. Why couldn’t the Doctor remember one of those drying spells he was sure the fae had.

“She was scared, and they took her away from me.” The Doctor said, feeling enraged. He was doing everything he could not to unleash the Oncoming Storm out of that witch that did this. “Her last words to me were that I not kill every last thing in this forest to get her back.”

This Peri’s eyes widened. “She’s a wolf. Didn’t she understand how strong this bond is?”

“She understands it perfectly, and that was why she told me not to.” The Doctor almost growled, his voice dropping to a whisper. He cupped her cheek, meeting only cold skin. “She never liked the idea of people dying because of her.”

The other fae frowned. “I’m sorry Puck. We’ll get you both back.”

“No.” The Doctor said. “You get her back first.”

Peri frowned. “Puck, I don’t know if-”

“No. You’ll do it.” The Doctor ordered. “You’ll bring her back, because if I get out of there and she isn’t awake, I’ll tear apart every inch of this forest until I find the witch and kill her myself.”

@

(More)

==MI==

The first thing he saw was blackness, just a long stretch of emptiness and cold. Usually, he would use his time sense to see what had happened. He didn’t have that as a Fae, so he improvised with this fae magic. Again, there was only darkness. Cold, empty, darkness, that clung to his skin like oil. The Doctor tried shrugging it off, but it only made more come on. The memories from Puck (Phantom Memories, Terra had once called them) had come to him, telling the Doctor his new magic wouldn’t work in the In Between.

Hell. I’ve finally been dragged to Hell. The Doctor remarked dryly.

The second thing he noticed was that he was in his Twelfth body, including the red lined suit. He reached up, feeling the short gray hair on his head. His skin was wrinkled, and the Doctor could feel his second heart beating in his chest. This felt much better than that ridiculous singular vascular system.

The Time Lord turned Fae didn’t have to wait long to realize why it was Hell. Off in the darkness, the Doctor saw a bit of color.

It was Morgan, with her long curly black hair pulled back in a ponytail, and dressed in a gray baggy t-shirt with a sequin heart, jean shorts, and her raspberry pink sneakers. She was smiling, happily. The Doctor ran up to her. “Terra!” He yelled.

Then, in a flash, she was gone. The Doctor felt himself wanting to growl. He turned back, seeing her stand where he had previously been. It had been another one of her games on Trenzalore, she liked him chasing her around before grabbing her and taking her to the bedroom.

The Doctor chuckled at that. He had rather liked that game. “You know, Terra, these old bones can’t do this for long.” He joked.

Immediately, his frown fell. A figure appeared behind Terra, wrapping his arm around her waist. Her eyes widened in fear. The Doctor watched a face appear in the space behind her, leaning to whisper in her ear. “Dominic!” The Doctor snarled, running to her only to find he was rooted to the spot by the dark magic in the air.

The dark man grinned sadistically at the Doctor, while tears filled Terra’s eyes. The Doctor blinked, and she was naked. He tried fighting the magic, even going as far as to hit his own feet, but the result was always the same.

For hours, the Doctor listened to Terra plead and scream and cry as she was taken by Dominic. She had been beaten, and at times killed. Dominic making sure to look the Doctor in the eyes when life drained out of her’s. The Doctor met his gaze, promising that as soon as this magic let him loose Dominic would die.

The nightmare became worse once he said this. It changed from Dominic killing Terra, to his Eleventh self (dress in the purple tweed Terra liked) killing her. The Doctor stared in shock as his previous body wrapped his hands around Terra’s neck.

The most horrific part wasn’t that it was him killing her, it was the look on Terra’s face while he did. She smiling that sad smile at him, accepting death as she always did. She was letting him do this, thinking it was deserved.

“No!” The Doctor angrily shouted at his old skin. “Put her down you floppy haired wuss!”

Eleven only turned to Twelve, grinning as Dominic had. Terra coughed out the last of her air, dying again.

The new cycle went on for Rassilon knows how long. Terra being murdered by Eleven, and other unspeakable acts. It changed to Ten at one point, and the Nine and the War Doctor and Eight and Seven...it went down and down the line until he saw every version of himself killing her. It didn’t take him long to realize where it was going.

The Doctor saw his double’s wrinkled fists pound onto his crying wife. The anger in his eyes was the same kind of anger back with Rusty, hatred purely directed at Terra. “Get yours hands off my wife!” The Doctor shouted.

His double sneered. “You married this thing?” Terra sobbed. “You really are an idiot.” He swatted at Terra, hard enough to echo in the darkness.

This whole place was designed to show him his fears, and this had to be his biggest concerning her. The Doctor couldn’t protect her, not even from himself.

The murders continued, changing from Doctor to Doctor for the longest time. The image changed, Terra chained up to an old dirty bed, dressed in rags. Her hair a curled rat’s nest, her cheeks caked in tears, and her lips covered in smeared red lipstick. She looked up at the Doctor, in tears.

“Why Pondar?” She asked, sobbing. “Why did you let him touch me again?”

The Doctor shook his head, horrified. “Terra, no, please. I...I didn’t-”

“You let him take me again.” She hiccuped, using her hand to cover her mouth to hold back more cries. “I called for you. You never came for me.”

“Terra, please. I didn’t know-” The Doctor tried to explain himself. Why hadn’t he been there? What had been so important he let her be taken again?

“You never know.” Terra sobbed. “You never care. It’s always about you and what you want. I’m just another toy for you, until you get bored.”

The Doctor felt agony in his two hearts. Terra was never a toy, or a game. She was the woman he loved, the woman he was ready to tear worlds apart for. He never wanted her to believe any different, it was never true, it could never be true.

The image changed, though only slightly. Terra was only in a white tank top, her legs covered up by a blanket. The blanket from their bed in the TARDIS. Her hair was brushed back into a ponytail, her face clear of any sadness or grief. She wasn’t chained to the bed, no trace of it ever having existed.

She looked behind the Doctor, the Time Lord almost turning back to see who was coming. The dark magic had frozen his body, he could only watch as his younger self (it changed every few minutes) climbed up beside her in the bed.

“Hello Pondar.” She teased, kissing his cheek.

His past self kissed her’s. “You look beautiful tonight.” His double purred. His hand reached under the blanket for her hips.

The Doctor growled as Terra giggled. “Get your hands off of her!” He snarled. His fought against the magic again, some feral instinct in his new body hating her being touched in that way by anyone. She was his. It wasn’t important that it was just a him from the past, the Doctor had seen that same man choke her to death just minutes (or had it been hours?) ago.

The double ignored him, although Terra glanced back. She sneered, looking him over with disgust. She turned back to the double, smiling darkly. She leaned up to the double neck, kissing it noisily.

She made love to his younger selves, sneering whenever she made eye contact with him. At times, she would complain about him to his other selves. She hated his Scottish complaining, she hated his old skin, she hated his burly eyebrows, she hated everything about Twelve. The other doctors would laugh, agreeing with the assessment.

The Doctor knew that Terra would never say that. She never talked about the other Doctors when around him, it was always just him. She never complained about how Eleven treated her like glass half the time, or how Ten was constantly belittling her, or how Nine would flat out ignore her if he was annoyed with her. She just enjoyed whichever Doctor she had.

And even if she believed in any of those things she was saying, she would never actually say them to his face. The Doctor remembered Terra telling him about her school years, how people always talked down to her and treated her like a nobody. She never wanted anyone else to feel like that, especially someone she loved.

He had been waiting for it to change to his previous self (if it went in a pattern, then Fourth Doctor was next) when the image shifted.

She wasn’t in their bed in the TARDIS. It was a bed with black silk sheets. She was dressed in dark red lingerie, a sultry look in her bright amber eyes. “You comin’ to bed, or am I just going to be by myself tonight?” She purred.

“I don’t know.” A familiar voice said teasingly, making the Doctor growl. “I think it might be more interesting seeing you alone.”

It was Logan. She was making love with Logan.

“No.” The Doctor shook his head, the only thing he could move apparently. “No. Stop this. Terra would never, not with him. She hates him. He tried to murder her sister, murdered her child. She would never sleep with Logan!”

There was laughter coming the bed again. The Doctor turned, seeing Logan climb up beside his wife. The woman looked so happy, so much safer there. The man was looking at her like she was perfection.

“But I would miss you.” Terra teased.

Logan wrapped his arms around her, kissing her forehead. “Tell me you love me again.”

Terra giggled. “I always loved you.” She whispered conspiratorially, although the Doctor could still hear her. Logan chuckled. “I was just using the Doctor, he brought me to you again and again.”

“You married him.” Logan pointed out.

Terra rolled her eyes. She lightly shoved the vile man’s arm. “All an act. I needed his time machine to bring me to you. I married the time machine, technically.” She leaned in closer to him, making sure to look Logan in his black eyes.

The Doctor growled as she traced a finger up his neck. That was for him, only. Not that black hearted beast.

“Besides, he’s not even a Traveller, like you are.” Her face scrunched up in disgust. “How could I ever love someone who wasn’t the same species as me?”

That was Logan took her, over and over again. This went on for a long time.

Suddenly it went back to Dominic killing Terra, way back at the beginning. The whole thing was a cycle. Killing her, raping her, hating him, loving Logan, and then dying again.

The Doctor didn’t know how much longer he could take this.

==MI==

(More)

For a week, I was dead to the world. Briefly, I would get flashes as to what the Doctor was seeing. Me, lying in a pool of my own blood with Dominic standing over me. Logan and his hands all over me, sometimes with fight and sometimes without. The worst one was me standing before the Doctor and telling him all the things I ‘thought’ about our relationship.

When I woke up, the first thing I did was scream. My Doctor was in agony, just like I feared.

“Penelope!” Sally’s voice called out. “Penelope, it’s alright!”

“Doctor!” I screamed, rising to my feet. I scanned my surroundings, trying to find him. I couldn’t feel him anymore, I couldn’t find my mate. “Doctor please!”

“Cynthia, she’s calling for you!” Sally shouted.

I turned to the group of females, the memories easing back as sleep left me. “What? Where’s?” My words faded off.

The doctor wolf came up to me, leaning to my side. I flinched away. “Penelope, I need you to stay calm.”

My eyes changed from panicked to cold. Cynthia nearly flinched away. “I just woke up from a fucking nightmare coma to find out my mate isn’t here.” I said in a calculated tone, my voice dropping a few octaves to sound more authoritative. “Do not tell me to be calm right now.”

Cynthia steeled herself. “Yes, but we need to be strong. The males-”

“My male.” I said in same voice. “Is watching me be raped, murdered, and then belittle him in all the ways he is insecure about. I am always strong for him, never question me again.”

(More)

“We’ll get Pucky back.” Jen said, patting my back.

I sucked in tears. ‘I nicknamed him Lucky.’ I thought. ‘That face, Lucky boy. I hope that luck is still there.’

(More)

I closed my eyes...

...then opened them to darkness.

I gasped, seeing the Twelfth Doctor fighting the air. He was shouting and screaming at someone I couldn’t see.

“Uh, Pondar?” I said dryly, hoping to add a bit of comedy into this horror. Lighten the mood, so to speak.

The Doctor didn’t notice.

“Yo Ja’crispy!” I screamed. “Are you gonna keep talkin’ ta air all night?”

He noticed. The Doctor turned to me, and immediately we ran to each other. I hugged him, only to be met with a bone crushing one in return.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The words kept flying out of my mouth, like a mantra.

The Doctor moved his head from my shoulder, choosing instead to kiss me. I let him, reaching my hands up to grab at his shoulders for balance.

“Pon-” I tried speaking, but every time I managed to break away the Doctor pulled me back. “Hold-Would you-I have-Doc!”

The constant kisses stopped. He lowered his forehead onto mine, just holding us there. He held me (somehow) tighter than before. I waited with bated breath for what he would say. Twelve never hugged unless it was important.

“Are you alright?” He asked me.

“No.” I admitted. “I had a nightmare that my husband wasn’t there. I woke up and it was true. How can I be alright?”

The Doctor sighed, that depressed sigh he always had when thinking down on himself. “I’m so sorry, Morgan. Please-”

“Don’t you dare apologize.” I snapped. “I should have been-”

“No. This wasn’t your fault.” The Doctor assured.

“It wasn’t yours either, you magician.” I argued.

The Doctor almost retorted, when he laughed. I laughed too, relieving the tension. We were still hugging, I thought to myself. “You called me Ja’crispy again.” The Doctor pointed out.

“Got your attention, didn’t it?” I questioned.

The Doctor chuckled, pressing a kiss to my forehead. I sighed contently

“I’m coming to get you.” I promised, holding his body to mine. The Doctor let out a relieved breath, almost smiling. He had a dazzling smile. “Nothing you see is real, Pondar. Question everything, cause it’s all fake. Alright?”

“I’m not a complete idiot.” The Doctor commented, making me snort. “Morgan Spencer, laughing. Now I know everything is going to be better.”

I smiled, looking up into his deep blue eyes. He was so hurt by what he was seeing. I only hoped I could bring him back from this.

The magic keeping me here was fading.  My lips went to his, giving a chaste kiss. “Totally and completely.” I promised.

He kissed me back. “Totally and completely.”

“I’m waking up.” I said, before something stopped me.

“No.” The Doctor was starting to lose control. He hugged me tighter, hiding his face from mine. “No.”

I frowned, gripping his shoulders reassuringly. “I’ll be there soon. A day, maybe two.”

“Please. Stay with me. I can’t lose you again.” The Doctor pleaded.

I shook my head, feeling tears burn. “If there was a way I could be in both places-”

“No! I changed my mind.” The Doctor said in a firm tone. “Don’t come here. Don’t ever come here.”

“Too late!” I barked. “Now that I know you’re here, nothing is keeping me away!”

The Doctor lifted his hands off my back, cupping my cheeks instead. He bore his deep blue eyes into mine, almost making me melt. He was afraid, honestly and truly afraid. “A realm of nightmares, of your worst fears played out in front of you on a loop. I’ve seen what you are afraid of, and you spent five weeks with him.”

I started shaking my head.

“I’m not risking you.” The Doctor pleaded. The magic waking me up came back, stronger. “Please. Don’t come here.”

“Would you leave me?” I argued.

The Doctor’s frown told me all I needed to know.

That was when I woke up.

==MI==

(More)

I kept my mind clear, like in the bank of Karabraxos.

“This is our summer jam cause it’s the summertime.” I sang, closing my eyes to concentrate. “The world is gonna end, but we will never die.”

“We’re in the key of G, cause that’s an awesome key, and the BPM’s are at 120.” I sang. “Brazil, Portugal, Amsterdam, New Jersey.”

“I need money for weed, I need north for trees. I need money for bail and legal fees.” “Got a boogie board and I’m riding the waves, and I slap my brother right in the face.”

“Fly to Toronto, in a speedo. Visit my Grandma, who’s not a Guido!” “Gonna eat sardines in St. Louis, gonna make pot brownies in Camp Wanae!”

(More)

I

The Doctor looked just as he did after the Master had been shot. He was crying, on his knees, in pain.

My heart ached. I ran to him, kneeling down so that we were face to face. My hands cupped his cheeks, brushing those tears away. He let out a growl, and for the first time I didn’t flinch away.

“Pondar.” I said in a low voice.

My voice didn’t reach him. I reached down, taking ahold of his hands. He shook at the touch, trying to rip his hand from mine. I gripped tighter.

“Pondar come back to me!” I pleaded, looking at his clenched eyes. “Please! I need you!”

That made his eyes open. Those brown eyes that were just so open, showing me the Doctor inside. He was in such pain.

“It’s me.” I assured him, gripping his hand tighter. “Penelope Henry. Terra Song. Morgan Spencer.” I said all of my names, hoping they would get through to the Doctor.

The Doctor seemed to be coming out. He let out a small growl.

“And you.” I brought his hand up to my head, pressing them to my pain filled smiling cheeks. “Are the Doctor. My Doctor. My leather wearing big eared Doctor. My rude and not ginger lucky Doctor. My raggedy manboy of a Doctor with a love for bow ties. My Magician dressed Doctor, my Amore. Pondarianagoresimaiana.”

I blinked away tears. “Come to me, my sweetest friend. This is where we start again.”

Like words from a spell, they brought him back to me. The Doctor shook my hands from his, grabbing the sides of my head. He pulled me to him, pressing those wonderful lips to mine.

I moaned, my hand going to his hair. They went to work bringing him back to that sticky uppy look. Ten always looked his best when he had wind blown hair, every Doctor did.

(More)

I was panting on his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath me. The Doctor held me close, like I was a dandelion floating on air about to blow away. The arms were welcomed, demanded is a better word actually. The Doctor leaned down, deeply inhaling the scent of me, I bet I smelled like woods and mold.

“Mine.” The Doctor swore.

“Always.” I said into his chest. The Doctor shivered, somehow holding me tighter. If he held me any tighter I might just merge with him.

The two of us stated like that for a long time, just holding each other. The outside didn’t matter to us right now, I just kept him close. I pressed my forehead against his shoulder, just enjoying his warmth close to mine.

Story, I missed this. Just this, a moment of quiet and calm with my Doctor. I was so happy I wanted to sing.

“Tonight I wanna drive so far we’ll only hear static on the radio.” I hummed. “Can’t see those city lights, and I love the way you look in a firefly glow.”

The Doctor kissed my forehead, leaning down further to kiss my neck. I smiled, content. My hand took ahold of his shoulder, the other wrapping around his neck.

“Saying everything without making a sound. A cricket choir in the background. Underneath a harvest moon.” I kissed his cheek, laying my head on his shoulder. The Doctor was bound to leave a hickey on my neck at this rate. “Standing on your shoes in my bare feet, dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat. Oh whoa, and we’re dancing to the rhythm of your heartbeat.”

The Doctor relaxed, only slightly. “Don’t stop singing. Please.”

I smiled. We had all the time in the world. “And I wanna feel it like a kick drum, beating faster in your chest. I wanna feel you holding onto me and make me hold my breath.”

“You pull me closer, my head on your shoulder, baby, we won’t need a song. We’ll make a fallen star wish, one more slow kiss, what are we waiting on?”

(More)

Peri looked over at me. “Penelope?”

I looked over at her, giving a nervous smile. “I got him.” Carefully, I nudged the Doctor. “Yo, Shakespeare, get up.”

He didn’t budge.

I sighed, resting my head on his shoulder. “Look Doc.” I whispered. “Our way out won’t be open much longer. I can’t let this happen to you again. Please. I can’t let you get hurt again.”

The Doctor looked up at me, pressing his forehead to mine. Using the still stable mental bond, I sent him as many calming waves of reassurance as possible.

(More)

==MI==

(More)

“So, what do you have to say?” The Doctor asked. I threw a glare at him. He only looked at me with those smug eyes. I half expected him to pull out the glasses, our maybe put his hands in his pockets. “Cause everyone of your other little friends has gone, had their say. You like talking last, so make your peace and then leave me behind.”

I glared harshly. The others did have their eyes on me, Peri more than anyone. She was friends with Puck, and him losing his mate was probably not a thing she was happy to watch. I opened my mouth to speak.

“You’ll probably start talking about how we’ve done this whole thing before.” The Doctor began. “Or, that you’re of the few people I trust with everything. You might start quoting all of their speeches verbatim. They were good speeches, I’ll admit.”

I raised an eyebrow, wondering if he was done.

“But you forget, that you’ve hidden things from me.” The Doctor said. I was ashamed that he was right, because I was hiding something even now. “And based on the look you’re giving me, there’s more you haven’t said. So, I think it’s pretty even. You don’t need to go over there, you can stay here and we can both keep our secrets.”

I shook my head at him, surprised. “Wow. Just...just wow. That wasn’t even close to what I was gonna say.” The Doctor scoffed. “It wasn’t. We do keep secrets from each other, we’d be idiots not to. You just saw all of your worst nightmares play out in front of you. There’s nothing I can say that would make it all okay. Except, maybe, that you’re stupider than I thought.”

Jen snorted. “Real good idea, Penelope. Tell the guy he’s an idiot.”

“I was trapped in a sleeping curse, as I’m sure you know.” I ignored Jen.

The Doctor nodded. “Hard to forget you lying near dead in my arms.”

“In the dream, I could see your nightmares.” I said, much to his horror. “Not all of it, but I felt what all of it was doing to you. Saw manboy, celery, and scarfy.”

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I stood up, walking away from him. My jaw was dropped, berating myself for forgetting what the Doctor was doing.

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“Don’t.” I snapped.

The Doctor’s eyes widened. I rarely spoke Gallifreyan, but it was just something he wanted me to know. The rest of the pack watched the Doctor and I with confused looks, waiting for something to make sense.

“This is what I wanted to avoid.” I stressed. “You hiding from me again. Why? When have I ever showed you even the slightest shred of hatred? You think whatever you saw in there would make me think of you less?”

The Doctor made his face stern. Ten had been so open with his emotions, it was easy to pick. He was still hiding from me, but again it was supposedly for my own protection. “Logan.”

The name sent a chill down my back. My arms wrapped around me, to provide some level of comfort. “Well whatever you saw, I would never do any of it willingly. The only one I want is you. Totally and completely, remember?”

“Why wouldn’t you want him?” The Doctor said. “He’s your own kind.”

That made me stop. This was the first I had ever heard of that argument from the Doctor. Logan used it any chance he got, saying he and I were unavoidable. Logan had said that argument, saying our children would be the most powerful Travelers in creation. Logan whispered it in my ear as he abused me, marked me.

The Doctor had never even broached the subject, because he knew where my heart lied. After Ten, I told him about the mate bond and how it was his. I told him I loved him, and that I would never ever stop. Eleven knew I would always chose him, that nothing Logan ever said would make me give my mate up. Twelve didn’t need the constant reassurance. If I ever thought about choosing Logan, then he would show me why Twelve was my only choice. (He was always right)

But Ten...with Ten it was new and dangerous and exploration. Ten never knew about the mate bond, and if he did he didn’t understand it.

This wasn’t Ten. This was Twelve wearing Ten’s face. This was Twelve being shown his worst fears. It may have started out as Logan assaulting me, like he had at Dominic’s pain house, then it evolved into me giving in. Knowing his occasion self deprecating, it problem involved some yelling on my part filled with lies.

And the Doctor bought that bullshit!

Of course, none of my conflicting emotions showed on my face. It was pure shock. I was in shock. “Well. That’s good.” I said, flatly. “You see it fair to limit my information, so I’ll limit your’s. Your touch is not invited.” I somehow said with confidence, walking towards the girl side.

The Doctor looked at me pleadingly. “No please-”

“And your mind isn’t either.” With that, I cut off our mental bond. “Oh. And that thing I was hiding? I wanted it to be a surprise for when we got to the mansion.” I leaned in, saying in a stage whisper “Harry Song is alive.”

The Doctor gaped at me. “What?”

I ignored him, turning away.

“What?” The Doctor repeated.

He was doing the triple what’s, but it wouldn’t work on me this time.

I walked over to a tree, leaning against it in anger.

“What?” The Doctor said, and then silence.

The girls looked sympathetic, probably recognizing the look on my face. They didn’t know what the Doctor said earlier, but they got a feeling it was bad.

Sally put a comforting hand on my shoulder. I looked at her, seeing her give a reassuring smile. Well, at first I could see it. Stupid tears were making it a bit too blurry.

==MI==

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“You know you want to tell me.” The Doctor called out. “And you want to tell me every last detail.”

I kept my mouth shut.

Jacque same up to my side. “So he knows Harry too?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

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“Still alive but I’m barely breathing.” The words flowed out from my mouth. That Equestrian Magic, y’all. “Just praying to a God that I don’t believe in. Cause I got time while she got freedom. Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even.”

The Doctor gave me a look from across the clearing. It wasn’t of scolding, more of a plea. He didn’t want me breaking my own heart, or his heart. The song came out anyone, unwilling to stay trapped inside.

“You can stop whenever you’d like.” The Doctor said.

I closed my eyes, lying down on the tree. I sang louder, hoping it would tune him out.

“Her best days are some of my worst. She finally met a man who’s gonna put her first.”  “While I’m wide awake she’s no trouble sleeping, cause when her heart breaks no it don’t break even. Even. No.”

“What am I supposed to do when the best part of me was always you? And, what am I supposed to say when I’m all choked up that you’re okay?” “Yeah, I’m falling to pieces. Yeah, I’m falling to pieces.”

“They say that bad things happen for a reason. No wise words gonna stop the bleeding.” “She’s far gone while I still breathing. Cause when her heart breaks no it don’t break even. Even, no.”

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“Puck, what the hell are you wearing?” Peri asked.

My mind paused, quickly working out the only thing he could be wearing to get such a reaction. I glanced up, seeing him in a pinstripe suit and the sexy glasses.

He smiled smugly at Peri. “Just something a little more comfortable.” The Doctor glanced over, noticing me immediately. “Do you like it, Penelope? Thought I’d give it a go.”

He stuffed his hands into the jacket pockets. His grin said innocence, but closer analysis showed satisfaction. I steeled my features, squaring my shoulders.

“It’s alright.” I shrugged it off, being nonchalant about the utterly lustful feelings burning at my core. “Didn’t know you needed glasses.”

“I don’t. I just think they add an...element, to the suit.”

‘The element I will push you into and ride your body until we leave an imprint.’ I thought, quickly checking to make sure my shields were holding. “Yeah, they make you look like a physics teacher.”

He grinned again, a inside joke between us. “Time was, this suit made you fall to your knees.”

Again, I shrugged it off. My hands went into my own pockets, so they wouldn’t fidget. I made calming steps towards my mate, my expression steeled.

“You wanna talk about falling to your knees.” I leaned in, close enough so that only he could hear it. Not enough to touch, I wasn’t stupid. “Pondarianagoresimaiana.”

And just like that, the Doctor fell to the cold ground.

“You started a sex war with me, me. Friend of Captain Jack Harkness, wife of River Song, and who’s spirit animal is her.” I pointed at Jen, who smirked and waved. “You really think you can win that?” (More)

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“Oh, don’t tell me you’re still angry about Elizabeth.” The Doctor sighed, shaking his head.

“No. That implies I ever got over it the first time.”

“Okay. Fine. Charles Dickens!”

“Marilyn Monroe.”

“Shakespeare.”

“Queen Nefertiti.”

“.”

“M.”

“What? Nothing happened with her!”

“She showed you her boobs!” I shouted. “And let’s not forget Astrid!” “That’s right. I know about her!”

“Not that this isn’t entertaining.” Jen said, gesturing between the Doctor and I. “But what the hell are you talking about?”

“It’s nothing.” I said. “Just tune us out. Most people learn to.”

“Nothing? I wouldn’t call kissing Mickey the idiot nothing.”

“Never kissed Mickey, and you kissed Martha.”

“That was a genetic transfer!”

Jen snorted off to the side. “I bet you exchanged genetics.”

“Jennifer.” Decibel growled in a warning.

The Doctor gave her a withering look. “Yes, thank you. I’ve been trying to get her to stop calling it that-”

“Then how about you stop calling it a fucking genetic transfer!”

“Rory!” The Doctor suddenly said. “You kissed Rory!”

“He’s my godson!” I argued. “Why the hell would I kiss my godson?”

“Oh please. Don’t tell me you spent all those years around him and never kissed him.”

“Unlike some people, I don’t kiss my friends!” I argued. “Like you kissed Amy!”

“She kissed me!”

I scoffed, walking back to my tree.

“Alright. Fine. Robin Hood.”

“Rose Tyler.”

“The Master!”

“The Mistress!” I said. “Oh, sorry. Not a kiss. That was a ‘3W welcoming package’.”

“Ah!” He started to say more, but winced. “Uh...uh...”

“Cassandra, Jabe, Madame de Pompadour.”

“Clara!” The both of us shouted, making us pause. Had we both kissed Clara? That’s awkward.

“River.” I added. “But we both kissed her too, so it’s okay.”

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I shook my head as the Eleventh Doctor (dressed in purple) wrapped his hands on my neck. “This is not real. You are a dream.” I said, like a mantra.

“Oh, I’m plenty real, dear. Watch this.” The illusion only smiled darkly as his hands constricted over me. I found myself gasping for air, clawing at the hands on my neck.

In the forest, the Doctor watched as Morgan fought off an unseen attacker. He didn’t know which one she was fighting until she begged, that was what cinched it. His previous self.

I clawed at Eleven, watching in slight horror as it changed to Ten. Then Nine, and Eight, and down the line until ending up back to Twelve.

‘Morgan, none of it is real.’ The Doctor spoke in my mind, breaking through the small fog.

I was shaking in fear as another Doctor I hadn’t met tried killing me. ‘Celery. Makes me wanna laugh. Must be why he’s choking me.’

The Doctor couldn’t even crack a smile. Did she always have to joke when she was being murdered?

I flinched away when the scene changed to a more horrific one. Dominic Chamberlin was leaning over me, hands grabbing my body. I started shouting ‘dog’ as loud as I could.

The Doctor could see it in her eyes before she screamed. It was the part of his nightmare with Dominic. He almost snarled as the image replayed in his mind. She was shouting about dogs now, which told him she was ready to have this over with.

He marched up to Peri, who was still panicking. “The wolves.”

She huffed. “I know Puck. They’re pissed off that they can’t touch their mates.”

“No, not exactly. The males can’t touch their mates.” The Doctor said. “But their wolves could.”

Peri and the female wolf turned to him, surprised. “What?” Peri said, surprised at how they had figured something like that out.

“The males were in their human form when the females cut off contact. Their wolves won’t be bound by the females wants.” The Doctor explained, growing more and more frustrated with every second. “Have them phase, then have the males carry the females to the mansion.”

Out of nowhere, Morgan screamed at the top of her lungs. “LOGAN!” Morgan screamed. “Doctor help me!”

“I’m working on it!” The Doctor shouted in her direction.

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“You’re the Doctor?”

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“I can’t phase to touch her.”

“Neither can I.” The man Adam said.

“So how do we carry them back?” The Doctor snarled.

Peri stared at her friend. “I’ll carry Penelope, and Cynthia will carry Crina.”

The Doctor’s eyes narrowed.

“Well you can’t, and if anyone else does you’ll snap their neck or worse.” Peri reminded him.

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Penelope grabbed Peri’s arm, wincing in pain. “Harmony...harmony...harmony...”

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“A cleansing spell?” Peri asked Puck.

The fae nodded. “A cleansing spell, with the fae stones and the other Fae Council, would cancel out the dark magic.”

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The Doctor kept his eyes on Morgan as she painfully twisted and turned. She was seeing every horror and feeling every pain that he had seen, only this time she was participating in them.

That was why she had been so adamant about him telling her what he saw. So, that when this happened, at least he could have been able to hold her. He would have been able to take those fears and doubts from her.

But he couldn’t. He couldn’t touch her because she had used some weird werewolf magic to keep him away. To make it worse, Terra had taken away their mental link. The thing that has truly brought the Doctor comfort. Terra would always be sending him waves of comfort, or reassurance, or endless love.

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“I need to get her in clothes.” The wolf doctor said.

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The Doctor wanted to brush back her hair. She whimpered, pushing her face into the pillow. “Morgan, I need you back.

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The Doctor put his hand on Peri’s shoulder.

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The other fae had done some strange magic, allowing the pain to stop.

The Doctor felt some air get into his lungs after Terra stopped screaming. It was just whimpers now, those horrible whimpers of heartbreak.

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She wouldn’t look at him.

“Morgan.” The Doctor said, feeling dampened by having his tenth self’s voice come out. “Please let me in.”

His wife shook her head, letting her ponytail fall over her face briefly. Her face was still scrunched up in agony, eyes leaking tears.

It was as if Dominic had happened all over again. That thought made the Doctor want to scream.

“Please.” He stressed, walking up to her bedside.

Then, she looked at him. The Doctor felt himself ache at seeing the emotion in her eyes.

“How?” She whimpered. “How could you want me after seeing me do...do that.” She shuddered, wrapping her arms around herself even tighter.

“Because it wasn’t you.” The Doctor stressed. He brushed his hand over her hair, it felt like silk under his hands. Morgan rubbed her head against the hand, like a cat. He climbed onto the bed, staring into her amber eyes. She refused to look at him, submissively staring down at the bed. “I’m sorry. It was ridiculous to hide it from you, to hide me from you. You’ve always been the only person who’s helped me through everything.”

Terra’s closed eyes leaked tears, bunching together under the Doctor’s hand. “It was stupid to think you would go to him. You have too big of a heart.”

She whimpered, curling tighter in on herself. She felt his hand on her cheek, that cool hand of his that she utterly loved. It had that gentleness she had forgotten he had, that she had yearned for amidst all that pain. Flashes of Logan came to her mind, as well as the darkened bodies of other Doctors.

They hadn’t said anything cruel to her, they had said cruel things of him. The Doctor’s bragged about how they were the one she chose, that Twelve had no idea how to love her, that Twelve couldn’t protect her. Terra had heard the Doctor’s talk crap about other incarnations, but that had gone too far.

The Doctor touching her now, loving her now, was the one she wanted. He had Ten’s body, but she still saw Twelve deep inside. It warmed her heart. She had been forced to be cut off cold from him, in that nightmare.

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He wrapped his arms around her in a hug, something he had found strangely pleasant with her.

“Mark me.” She murmured.

The Doctor looked down at her in shock. “What?”

She looked him in the eyes. “Mark. Me.” She said more like a demand.

The Doctor stared at her with that possessive glint in his brown eyes. He kissed her as if to promise her that, oh, he would mark her, and it would be good.

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Morgan moaned loudly. Her head tilted back, allowing him more access to her throat. The Doctor growled.

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The Doctor let out a relieved sigh. She was his. She was in his arms, not screaming in agony. Oh, and her moans were as heavenly as they always were.

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He claimed her, in all of the ways he had been dying to since finding her again. The Doctor had to admit, he rather liked this place. No wonder Terra saw it as her favorite book.

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“Pondar.” Terra gaped.

The Doctor looked down at his shoulder, seeing the markings just like Terra’s.

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The Doctor pressed his lips on Terra. The woman laughed happily.

“Stop laughing.” He said, trying to keep his lips pressed onto her’s.

Morgan only laughed. “Can’t.”

“I can’t make love to my wife if she’s laughing at me.” The Doctor said, moving his lips to her neck.

She shivered, but still laughing. “With you, not at you.” She corrected. The woman put her hand on his arm. “Told ya ya’d get the mark.”

The Doctor stopped his assault on her neck, sitting up on his elbows to give his wife a look. She only laughed harder. There was a part of him that was happy to see her smiling so brightly, to hear her laughing freely without pain or fear. The rest of him wanted to make her scream.

Morgan rolled her eyes, playfully smacking his arm. “You do remember that I’m in your head right now, and I heard every bit of that?”

The Doctor did not, but he wasn’t telling her that. “Good.”

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“No.” Her hand brought his to her stomach, pressing down on it like there was a child inside. “Harry.”

The Doctor stopped, it clicking in his head. “Your son?”

Terra nodded, looking as surprised as the Doctor was. “He’s alive. That bastard Logan kept him alive.”

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“So he remembered you?” Jen said, smiling.

I smiled back, and it was my first real smile to her in awhile. “Every precious second.”

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“Some language we heard in a mutual favorite show.” I shrugged, sipping my cocoa.

The Doctor sent me a wave of amusement. ‘Not a technical lie. You’re incredible at this.’

‘It’s called experience.’ I teased. ‘Do the job long enough, you figure out the right way to say things. The proper half truths and lies. I can even spot them in other people.’

‘Cause you cheat.’ The Doctor snarked.

‘What? Innocent little me cheat?’ I mentally gasped. ‘I am offended, good sir.’

I smiled, using the mug to hide my slight blush. “I said a phrase from the show, he heard, and we found out we both liked it.” I toasted the mug his direction. “Ten points to Penelope, for the amazing mate pick!”

“Please. We already get enough Potter references from Jacque.” Jen groaned.

“You’re only saying that because you didn’t get any points.” I joked.

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“We don’t mean to pry.” Sally said, turning the mug in her hand. “But, what did he say?”

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“And he told me to go out with that man, because he was my own kind.” I hissed. The mug shattered.

The women all flinched, jumping out of their chairs. Scalding hot cocoa covered my hand, as well as most of my arm. The whipped cream did little to help the burn, instead creating a bigger mess.

“Damn it.” I growled. Sally came to my side, using paper towels to clean the cocoa. “I liked that mug.”

“Oh my god! Penelope, are you okay?” Sally asked. Jacque and Alina came up next, using various towels to dry it up. Sally held more paper towels, as if to dry my hand.

I shrugged, lifting my hand to shake off the cocoa. “Still figuring that out.”

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‘Morgan, what’s wrong? Are you hurt?’ The Doctor asked.

‘Sorry. I just got a little angry.’ I frowned, ashamed that I had let my anger control me.

The Doctor was feeling some slight joy, then concern. ‘And how did you vent your anger?’

‘May have squeezed a mug of cocoa until it shattered.’ I said. ‘Over my hand.’

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“Hey M-Penelope.”

I turned to the door. Even though I knew it was Harry, it still surprised me to see him alive and well.

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“This is the Doctor.” I introduced. “And Doc, this is Harry.”

My mate looked at the boy warily, as if unsure of what to do. There wasn’t a book for what to do when meeting your wife’s son from a sexual assault, that had supposedly been murdered when he was born, only to appear in werewolf world.

Welcome to Doctor Who, enjoy your stay.

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“Terra, let’s go home.” The Doctor suggested, with a bright smile.

I smiled back, taking ahold of his hand. “Yeah, Ten is great.” I pulled him closer to me. “But, I miss my Doctor more.”

The Doctor growled, pressing his forehead to mine. “Keep saying things like that, and we might never leave.”

“Don’t tempt me.” I warned, giving his lips a quick peck.

He pulled me back to him, biting my lip. I moaned, melting into his arms. ‘I miss the feel of Twelve’s fingers on my body.’ I thought in a sensual voice.

The Doctor growled, holding me tighter to him in a scolding and looking at me with heavy lust in his eyes. It was hot. ‘Morgan.’

‘I miss the way Twelve would tease me, until I was lying on our bed, or any flat surface, screaming.’ I purred, rubbing my head against his shoulder. He was still taller than me, but I guess that was a given.

The Doctor made through with my flirt, carrying me over to a nearby wall to press me against it. I gasped, my legs automatically wrapping around him. My arms braced themselves on his shoulders.

“I said, not to say things like that.” The Doctor warned.

“No. You didn’t.” I half moaned. “You wanted to fuck me in this room again.” The Time Lord turned Fae pressed his face against my neck, sensually kissing me. A loud noise, probably a groan, flew out of my mouth as I melted into him.

The Doctor chuckled, adding a small bite that made my hips thrust into his. He gripped tighter on my hands, almost growling. “Fine then. You bloody started this, and I’m gonna bloody finish it.”

I bit my lip. “About time.”

My husband tried using that fae magic again, about to snap his fingers to remove my clothes. ‘What? You don’t want to rip my clothes off? I always liked when Twelve would make me work for it.’

The Doctor growled. ‘No. No strip teasing from you.’

‘You would be the one taking them off.’

‘You would still make it a tease.’ The Doctor pulled my scarf off with magic.

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“Fuck!” I shouted, holding tightly to him. “Pondar. Pondar.”

The Doctor growled while thrusting faster inside me. “Morgan.”

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“So.” Darcy smirked. “How was dog land?”

The Doctor and I exchanged looks.

“Alright.” The two of us answered.