Rainbow Dash is Hitting on Him

by Smg065

Rating: everyone
Tags: Second Person, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Rarity, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Drama, Original Character
Length: 4247

Rainbow Dash is having trouble getting a stallion. You, Rarity, try to help. Chaos ensues.

You are Rarity, a fashion designer in Ponyville, along with one of the few members of the Council of Friendship. Life is good, you are good, your friends are good...

Well, for the most part.

3 months. Rainbow Dash says that she'd been hitting on this stallion for 3 months now, and was getting nowhere. She needs your help! And yet, Rainbow is quite reluctant.

Pfft, khh. It's not like this happens everyday! She clearly doesn't know she needs some help with her potential stallionfriend. So you're going to go visit this 'Sunshine Sprite' character and explain all this to him, for both Rainbow and his own benefit.

After all, what could possibly go wrong?

Thanks to my editor, Android, for making sure things don't look sloppy.

Published 2016-02-21 09:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-21 09:10:02 UTC

The Greatest Gift of All

Today was another fun-filled day in the carousel boutique. Despite your sister being off on a school trip and it being a little busier than usual, so far it had been just a regular old day. Of course, this next part can be quite the pain. Cleaning up every little scrap of cloth, and yet maintaining your organized chaos. A difficult balance, but OH is it worth it. Working your flanks off pays off dearly when you get to see the face of a satisfied customer.

Your cat, opalescence, is busy playing with her mouse toy. She's so adorable! You could almost die from how cute she looks. Of course, she's shedding: not as cute.

You're about halfway done cleanup. It's just part of the process. Shame you can't use every last scrap of fabric. Makes you feel wasteful, even if they're barely more than slivers. Perhaps one day you'll learn some sort of spell to conjoin the last of the unused pieces seamlessly, that way you would be able to use every last scrap.

Yes, that would be nice, but you can't always get what you want. If you've learnt anything from working in the creative field, it's that sometimes you have to settle on your own imperfection. You wouldn't have it any other way. After all, yo-

You're interrupted from your internal monologue by a loud knock on the door. It's strange, since you closed shop for today. You wonder who it could be... You trot to the staircase while folding your fabric and tucking it into a nearby chest.

However, before you can reach the bottom step, you hear a loud crash. There's a spike of panic in your heart, as you dash down to the front door. It's been blown right down! The drywall around it has been smashed! Of all the things to happen this is the. WORST. POSSIBLE! THING!

Did you just say that out loud? Gathering yourself, you quickly grab a spare pole from the base of one of the mannequins (after all, there could be bandits), and travel the lower half of your house to find your invader. Then it hits you. Maybe there actually ARE bandits this time. You're shaking, worried sick. What if it's WORSE than bandits!? Assassins, come from a far land to take the friendship council out and take over EQUESTRIA!!!

Or maybe it's Rainbow Dash, laying face down in a bucket of your ice cream, sobbing like she doesn't have a friend in the world. You're just going to forget that she broke your door again, and that she's 'borrowed' your ice cream, since she's clearly in need of support.

"Rainbow Dash, are you alright?" You cut your melodrama, dropping the pole and trotting over to your friend.

"Yeah, I'm just peachy!!" Rainbow said, sniffling a bit as she lays there, shaking. What in the wide wide land of Equestria could give her this much trouble?

"Rainbow, darling, if something's wrong you can talk to me about it... I'm truly concerned for your well being!" you reply, stroking her mane with a hoof. "Please, I want to hear it."

"Well..." Rainbow stays silent for a moment. You understand how headstrong she can be, so you're ok with waiting for her to gather herself. You can help her deal with this issue like a mature, reasonable grown mar-

"There's this stallion...." she sheepishly admits. A stallion!!?? No! It couldn't be!! You have so much you need to do! To say! It just..

Squealing like a teenage mare, you grab a chair, whip it over, and sit down next to Rainbow.

"TELL. ME. EVERYTHING." you demand, leaning forward to Rainbow, who is no longer crying, but not moving her face out of the bucket either.

"E-everything?"

"EVERYTHING."

"a-alright.. wehl ther's thes stahlion, nahmed Sunshine Sprihte..." she says. she says, munching on your, or rather, her ice cream as she talks.

"Please, darling, don't talk with your mouth full." you say, taking out a notebook and scribbling down the name 'Sunshine Sprite'. If this fellow is causing Rainbow this much heartache, you're going to need to have a word with him. "You mentioned his name, Sunshine Sprite, I believe?"

Rainbow slowly nods, the chocolate mint bucket sticking to her face. "I-i just.. I've been hitting on him for a while now.."

You look up from your notebook, putting the tip of your quill on your lips introspectively, like they do in the novels. "How long exactly?"

Spitting out some of the ink that landed on your lips, you quickly find that just because it happens in novels, and seems smooth there, doesn't mean it works in real life.

"... 3 months?" Rainbow guessed.

"3 MONTHS!? 3 MONTHS!?!?" you scream "Why darling, that's just unacceptable!"

"I know!" she replies, laying on her back. "I've invited him to my house, flirted, played games, EVERYTHING! He just doesn't like me!!"

She goes right back to sobbing, leaving you with a mixture of determination and concern.

"Now Rainbow, I'm sure he-"

You are quickly interrupted by Rainbow hugging you close, still sniffling into the bucket. You wonder how it's even sticking to her face at this point. "But-t.. i just.." she sighs "You're good with stallions, help me!"

"Now Rainbow.." you reply, petting her mane softly "It isn't that simple. Different stallions have different needs. There's no ONE way to get a stallion... Tell me a bit about this 'Sunshine Sprite'. What's he like? Why do you like him so much? It's truly the only way I'll be able to help."

"... well.. He's so cute. And innocent. He's kinda timid... He looks up to me, like everyone..." she states, almost like it's fact. Clearly she has the ego the size of Manehattan. "He isn't really sleazy, like a bunch of other stallions are. But like, he isn't really smart.. Like, not smart at all. But he's just so happy! He works really hard at work, and his fur is so soft... I just wish that he understood how I feel, you know?"

"I know the feeling, darling." you sigh, writing down these personality traits. "From what I gather, and my own experiences, he has no clue that you're hitting on him. The way I usually go is just being blunt about it." you admit, resting your hoof on the back of her head.

"But I can't! If I admit that I like him before I get him to like me, I've lost!" she yells, flinging her hooves up.

"Lost? Lost what?" you ask, clearly confused.

"My pride! I can't just admit that I like him like that, HE has to admit that he likes ME!" she blurts, crossing her hooves.

".. Dear, that's a silly way of looking at it. Love is a game, sure, but you're both on the same team. Nopony is the loser OR winner in true love, you're both-"

"Did you get this speech from a romance novel!?" Rainbow sharply snaps.

"Oahahaha, of course not! I got this from time and patience." you lie. "Look darling, the point is that you're not going to get anywhere being subtle about it: Be blunt. Cut right past the games and admit it to him."

"But I caa-a-a-aaan't!" she cries, curling up into a ball on the floor in front of you. The poor thing, she must truly be torn about this.

".. Alright, Rainbow, I can cut you a deal." you say, getting the most brilliant idea. You can't help but smile at the thought.

"w-what is it?.." Rainbow asks, still shriveled up and shaking.

"It's simple, dear. I'll go tell him how you feel, so you can save face." you say.

"Y-you can't!" she screeches, clinging back onto you.

"Why not? Don't you want him to know?" you ask.

"I've already told you! Just.. I.. I just... just I..." Rainbow lets out a sigh of defeat. "You know what?.... fine."

You give her the tightest hug of your life. "Oh, don't worry Rainbow. I promise you, by the end of today, you will have that Sunshine wrapped around your hooves!"

A bold promise, of course. But one you're sure you can fulfill. Rainbow slips out of your iron grip slowly.

"j-just.. can you at least try not to say it right away? Please don't say it right of the bat..." rainbow pleads.

"Why of course!" you respond, helping Rainbow up to her hooves, and peeling the bucket off her tear-stained and mint-smeared face.

"After all, what could possibly go wrong?"

After helping Rainbow clean up and shooing her out of the Boutique, you could finally focus on helping the poor mare. The romance, the chaos, THE DRAMA! Oh, it just melts your heart... You throw away the tear filled bucket that once held your favorite brand of mint chocolate chip (and it was so expensive too...), and gather some paper and an envelope. On it you quickly request that Applejack, another friend of yours, come to fix your front door. Again.

Now that you've got THAT out of the way, you gather everything you need. Your bags, some bits, a notepad, a quill, and a bucket of cherry ice cream. After all, you don't know WHO's going to bawl their eyes out next, better safe than sorry. You pack everything, saddle up, and head off.

It then occurs to you that you forgot to ask where he lives.

Great. So first you need to find Rainbow Dash again, THEN you need to find Sunshine. Unless you ask around Ponyville for his address. It's a small town after all, and you've heard the name once or twice.

"So let's see Rarity... where do you go first..." you speak to yourself. It's quite the bad habit, you really should learn to kick it. You're sure if you focus on removing that habit, it'll go away in due time.

"AHA! Rainbow Dashes workplace! They both go there all the time, SURELY I can find one of them there!" you yell. Again, to nopony but yourself. Clearly you aren't focusing enough. But alas, that habit will have to wait in the face of this pressing issue. You feel so happy for Rainbow, and yet so bad.

You wonder what their foals name is going to be... Something that takes after both of them. Clearly it was going to be female, probably take after her mother, but me more restrained.. Something like: Sunny Skies!!

Wait, isn't that a name of another pony?

You're getting ahead of yourself. After all, how can you tell if they're even going to HAVE children. At least, not right now. Once they are in a relationship.

IF, IF... You should keep in mind that you have a bad habit of assuming. For all you truly know he's uninterested.

...

But how could he be uninterested? How tragic, the sorrow on Rainbows face as you explain something so heart wrenching, the tears.... What sort of monster would do that to Rainbow! Why, you oughta-

Stop getting ahead of yourself. You stop trotting for just a second to take a breath in, then out. You must be even more nervous then Rainbow is at this point. You need to keep a clear head, go forward with stride.

You begin trotting again, to find you're at the front door of Ponyville's Weather Control Center. You must've gone MUCH faster then you thought you were. Time flies, after all.

Trotting inside, you go out to the reception desk, clearing your throat.

"Excuse me?" you ask, looking at the mare idly scribbling.

"... yes?" she asks dryly, clearly focusing on her work more than you. No need to take it too rough, after all, she MUST be pretty busy.

"Could you direct me to.. 'Sunshine Sprite'?" you respond, reading the stallions name off your notepad.

"Pfft... oh.. I'm sorry, he was sent home early today. The daft thing hurt himself with a thunder cloud."

Oh sweet Celestia. ".. Is he ok?" you question. Clearly, it was rhetorical, since he was sent home in one piece, but by asking you'd get some more detail about what happened.

"Doesn't seem too bad honestly. The doctors patched up his left wing. He only left 15 minutes ago."

15 minutes, great. This means that he may still be on his way, thanks to that injury.

Well, it isn't GREAT. The poor thing got hurt! But you digress.

You quickly thank her, and trot out. So you're looking for a Pegasus with a broken left wing. Ponyville's a small town, it shouldn't be hard to spot such an injury.

It then occurs to you while you leave: Rainbow had work today. She was skipping her weather duties! Why, that was just!...

Acceptable. You understand she's in a rough place. In the same situation you would've shut down shop for a while as well. You're SURE she talked to somepony about it...

Right?

You've been asking around Ponyville for Sunshine Sprite for a while. Most ponies had one of two responses:

Sunshine Sprite? Never heard of him... I'm sure if you showed me a picture of him, I could point him out for you....

Or

You're looking for THAT idot!? Wow, did anypony ever tell you about the time he trapped himself inside of a cloud?

Really, it just made your situation much harder than it needed to be. Seems ponies saw Sunshine as a bit of a joke. That's quite sad, he seems to be unintelligent and unlucky, but that doesn't mean he doesn't deserve respect. You've heard plenty a tale about this pony while searching; on how he'd glued his wings together, how he's missing these super obvious signals from his boss, the time he froze his muzzle shut and they had to break it open with a ice chisel...

As mean as it was, you couldn't hold back your laughter from the last one. Granted, you felt bad right afterwords, but none the less, it's quite the sight to imagine. A bright, yellow Pegasus flapping around in panic, maw shut solid...

You're getting distracted. You're sure that SOMEPONY must know where he went...

You just noticed something. A bright, yellow Pegasus, bandages wrapped around his midsection with a cutie mark of the sun, shining proudly with two black beady eyes.

It's him.

Running past a few ponies to catch up with him, you can't help but wonder WHY he's out and about instead of at his house.

"Hello!? Are you Sunshine Sprite?" you ask him. You notice his head, tail and ears all hang low. Maybe he's doing pretty bad after all.

"Why?" he asks. "Need directions to the closest ice pick? Oh, even better, you want to hear the funny joke everypony's been talking about: Me! Ahaha, ahaha, HA." he growls, trotting faster.

"Oh, no no no, I'm here because Rainbow Dash wanted me to tell you something." you respond, looking worried for this poor stallions well being.

"Let me guess: I'm fired?" he responds flatly. "She left for ONE second to talk to her friend, and I go and make a mess of everything. I hurt myself, and I promised her I wouldn't... And now I can't even find my way home! This has been the worst day ever."

Good, so she didn't skip the ENTIRE day. Still, the fact she left work to talk to you was a bit troubling.

"No no, but... You.. can't find your way home? Haven't you been here for over 3 months now?" you ask, more confused then before. He can't find his home? In such a small town like this, you were almost sure it was impossible to lose your way. And yet here this Ditzy stallion stood, lost.

"Yes, I did. Go on, call me a featherbrained ditz! Everypony already has." he snaps, trotting to avoid you.

"I can clearly see you're not in the best of places right now.. Tell you what, I'll help guide you home." you offer, smiling.

"... really?" he pauses, looking up a bit.

"Sure. I've lived here all my life, I know this town inside out." you state proudly. "Know any nearby buildings to your house?"

"There's this place called 'Carousel Boutique'. It's 5 houses away from my home. Apparently a mare named Rarity owns the place, do you know her?"

"... why, yes. I'm her." you flatly respond. "Just.. Follow me, alright?" you say, trotting off to your home. He lived 5 houses down!? How did you not notice?

"Of course you are! Who else would you be? Of all the ponies to ask that too... ugh, I'm so stupid..." he groans, following you.

"Oh, no dear, you're not stupid.. You're just unlucky." you halfheartedly reply. You didn't want to sugarcoat it, but it was clear he wasn't in his normal mood.

"But I am stupid. I glued my wings together. How does somepony even do that!?" he sighs "I just.. I need some rest. Maybe if I'm lucky Rainbow Dash will come by."

Rainbow. You almost forgot. "Oh, right, Rainbow. I want to ask, what do you... Like, about her?"

"Hmm? Well, she's a pretty good boss.. Kind, funny, daring, stronger than I am.. She's really nice to me. Nicer than everypony else that is... Maybe excluding Pinkie Pie. She's really nice."

"She is, isn't she?" you respond. "Pinkie seems to get along with everypony in this town."

"Yeah... she's the only reason I even knew ponies were making fun of me behind my back..." he glumly murmurs.

"I've heard about that.. I'm sorry, that must feel awful..." you reply, looking out at him.

"But it is! It almost makes me want to move away, back home.. I thought the ponies would be much nicer here..." he admits, rubbing the back of his head.

"NO!" you scream. ".. Ehe, that is, you shouldn't make any drastic judgments based on everything so far. I'm sure ponies will warm up to you."

"3 months is an awfully long time.." he says.

"But what about Rainbow? And Pinkie? I could even become your friend.." you mention.

"Yeah.. that would be nice..." he hummed. "Thanks, Rarity. I needed really needed that." he cheered.

"It's the least I could do.." you say, stopping at your house. "But before you go, Rainbow. Have you noticed anything in particular about her?"

".... she thinks I'm weak and mareish?" he asks.

".. No, that's not it. Perhaps something to do with the things that she likes about you?" you hint, staring right into his eyes.

".... she thinks I'm weak, mareish AND clumsy?" he replies.

"ANYTHING POSITIVE SHE LIKES ABOUT YOU?" you growl, starting to get a bit frustrated. When ponies said he was daft, they were being serious.

".. Hey, are you hitting on me?" he questions.

That's it.

"NO!!!" you screech, picking him up with magic and shaking him violently.

"RAINBOW DASH!!! RAINBOW DASH LIKES YOU!!!"

"A-as a friend?.." he trembles.

"MORE THAN A FRIEND!!!"

".. a... best?... friend?.." he whimpers, curling up as you continue to shake him violently. It's clear he's vary scared, but you don't care, he needs to hear this.

"RAINBOW DASH IS HITTING ON YOU!!!!" you shout, making him flinch in your magical grip. "Do I need to spell it out for you!? She's been hitting on you since you moved here!! It was SO ABUNDANTLY CLEAR, HOW DID YOU NOT NOTICE THIS!? And sweet Celestia, pull yourself together! Are you going to let me shake you down like this!?" you shriek.

"y-yes?" he timidly squeaks.

"THAT'S IT!" you holler, pulling him along with you as you trot to Rainbow Dashes house. Work should be over by now, you're not waiting another second, you're going to get this done, go to the spa, and sleep for 3 days straight.

You stop outside of Rainbow's house. He's still quite alarmed, but has seemed to calm down. You whip out the ice cream, take a page out of your notebook, scribble some words on it, and turn to Sunshine Sprite.

"A-are you going to hurt me?" he asks timidly. Well, Rainbow was right, he IS quite adorable.

"What? Of course not! I'm just going to help you up to Rainbow." you say, putting the cherry ice cream in his hooves, along with the note.

"Thanks, I was getting hungry." he chirps, trying to open it.

"It's not for you, it's for Rainbow. Also don't read the note." you demand.

"Tell me how it goes... signed, Rarity." he reads.

".... I'm going to forget you just did that. Give these to Rainbow. And remember, I'm going to spell this out one last time in the odd case you didn't catch it, Rainbow Dash wants to be your marefriend. So buckle up, hold on tight, and pray to Celestia I don't miss."

"D-don't mis-s-s what?" he stammers.

You spin Sunshine around you rapidly with your magic, before tossing him full speed right up to Rainbow's house. Lucky for you, he managed to land. Unlucky for him, it was face-first against the front door, and caused the entire house to shake a bit.

He'll live.

Now that all that is over, you decide that you're done with all this for the day. Trotting away from the house, you stretch your head and smile. Congrats! You've just done a wonderful thing for your friend. You're sure they'll have 3 children and name one after you, round of applause, you're going to the spa.

Hurriedly trotting off towards the spa, you straighten out your frizzled mane. You may have been a bit violent earlier. Honestly, you feel bad. He's just clueless, the poor dear. Well, you ought to hurry up before the spa closes.

"Let's see.. I think I'll just stick with the usual.." you say to yourself.

"You know, talking to yourself is a bad habit." Sunshine replies. Your jaw hits the ground, you gather yourself after a second and slowly turn to face the Pegasus.

"... what are you doing? Shouldn't you be with Rainbow?" you ask.

"... err.. i-i can't. Now that I know she likes me, I just feel like it'll be awkward.." he stammers, looking down at the ground.

You stare at him, rainbow water dripping off of him. He must have used the rainbow fall to get down.

"... But you must. I won't have it any other way." you state, glaring down at him. "So go back."

"I can't!" he squeals. "I can't fly up there!! My wing!" he starts to back up a bit.

"..." you swiftly pick him up with your magic, and trot back. "If you go back down after this, I'll use your wings as an ironing board." you threaten, glaring right at him. "I've had a long day, Rainbow's suffered too much heartache, you're just going to have to do it."

"o-okay.." he shrinks in your grasp as you get back to Rainbows house. You can't believe this. At all. Of all the things for him to do and say...

You spin him around again, and toss him right back up, sweating a bit from the stress. Using that much magic is taking quite the bit out of you. Lucky for you, he ISN'T going back down.

He smashes against the front door again. This time you hear the door open, and hear Rainbows voice. You can't make out words, but you can hear something happening. Good. Kids, name after you, yada yada feel good, spa.

You hurriedly trot off towards the spa, taking out all the bits you need. That Sunshine... he really is a character. But it's over. Breath in... And out... Relax yourself... You've done all you can.

The first time you threw him, you felt pretty bad about hurting him. This time, you feel thankful that Rainbow noticed. Surely they'll be able to work something out.

Sunshine Sprite is right in front of you, shaking violently, and covered in ice cream and rainbow water.

"You! Hide me, quick!" he demanded.

"What?" you stammer, confused. "Where?"

"Anywhere! Just hide me before she-"

"HEY!" Rainbow yells, diving down to catch Sunshine in her grip. He squeaks, and curls up a bit as she holds him. "Stop running, alright!? I'm not going to hurt you."

... Something tells you not to get involved, and to go RIGHT to the spa.

You quickly race off, just feeling... done, with the day. You burst in, take out all your bits, and say to Lotus:

"I. WANT. EVERYTHING."

"E-everything?" she responds.

"EVERYTHING."

You're trotting home. It's pretty late at night now. You're sure Applejack has finished the door by now. You're sure Sweetie Bell is enjoying her trip. You're sure all your customers are pretty happy. There's one thing you weren't sure about.

Did Rainbow get Sunshine?

Of course, you wouldn't let that absorb you. Right now, you're just so relaxed... As a matter of fact, this entire day would make an interesting entry to your diary. You recollect the day silently in the night, before stopping before the door. There's a page from a notepad, with an ice cream stain on it, with words written messily. It's taped to your front door.

Thank you Rarity.
- RD

Author's Note

Thank you guys so much for viewing my last story! Special thanks to Android for preventing this story from looking like trash. I hope you all like it! :pinkiehappy: