My Guiding Light

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Sniffle…sniffle…gasp…

The pegasus shivered as another wave of waterworks came pouring out his close to stinging eyes.

Gasp...kah...kah…sniffle…

He wiped a hoof across his face to renew it in preparation for yet another cycle.

Chisel…chi-sniffle….chisel…

The strokes of graphite were barely visible as the artist continued to apply unordinary light pressure on the pencil. It felt so loose in his hoof that occasionally he would drop the implement completely. His hoof would reach for it, then retract as his insurmountable unhappiness asked it what the point of it all was.

I must draw…anything...Anything…please…

He would take the tool back in hoof and continue his gentle strokes before releasing it yet again a wee while later and asking his right hoof the very same question. The resulting product of this repeating torture was nothing more than a couple of wavy lines overlapping each other with varying intensity; clearly highlighting when he had been close to dropping the pencil and when he had just picked it up.

Although Greenfly’s head drooped towards the somewhat moist paper below, his eyeballs endeavoured to look as upward as possible. It made it seem that although his attention was fixed elsewhere he was still able to see the things below him if he wanted to.

They sat eerily still though, budging only when a hoof came up to tend to their water level. Even when the frequent wood vs. wood sound occurred in his ears, the artist’s naturally observant eyes would make no effort to move towards the pencil.

All the while his relentless thoughts reverberated in his head.

Draw…draw anything…

And so Greenfly’s facial parts persisted in working independent of one another; his eyes staring blankly somewhere, his nose scrunching up continuously, his mouth uttering quick breaths and gasps while the pegasus’s hoof struggled without the appreciated help of its anatomical colleagues to grasp the pencil once more.

Something…anything…please…

Even if an idea were to suggest itself, his bawling mind would never have apprehended it. At the moment, Greenfly could only understand two words; draw something. It was all that could fit into the miniscule part of his brain that wasn’t submerged in sorrow. And the flood level was rising ever faster.

Please…please…

Greenfly wasn’t going to hold out much longer. His regular order of watery coolness only doubled in pace as the pegasus desperately pleaded with his drowning mind for something to take his mind off of what had transpired today.

Her cutie mark…I…I can’t believe it…

Why had he let that in? Greenfly was close to breaking point now.

I’m really proud of you…

Sister.

That did it.

As if by fate, the left hoof which the pegasus had been using to prop his frantic face upon slipped down as the lubricant force of the gouging waterfall eased into the tiny gap between the contact of skin on skin – sending Greenfly’s head on a collision course with the desk.

His cries of pain muffled through the wooden worktop; his uncountable tears seeping into the many cracks and splinters in the timber. By now the pegasus had let go of the pencil once more and let both his hooves slide off the table as he simply emptied his water banks into the table.

He cried and cried to the point where he began to suffocate from lack of oxygen. Coming up for air, the tears slowed as Greenfly’s mouth stopped quivering but remained on the verge of whimpering. The artist’s sharpened senses began to return to him as he relaxed back into his chair.

He decided to risk a look around to check nopony had openly seen him breakdown as he did.

Cough…sniffle…That’s good I g-

The water again began to form in the desolate pegasus as his eyes stood riveted at the sketch on the wall.

Loyal Light…

No…NO!

With that, Greenfly jerked his hooves to lay on the table in front of him and buried his head into them – his moans and wails evidently much louder this time. He spluttered constantly as the continuous stream of water began to engulf him. His thoughts ringed in his head; becoming ever louder.

WHY?!! Why did you have to leave me? We were all so happy…SHE was happy. WHY?!!

Greenfly continued sobbing uncontrollably into his hooves, not even caring if anypony were there to judge him – in fact the thought never occurred to him. He didn’t even realise he was shouting.

“I FAILED YOU, LOYAL LIGHT!! I CAN’T EVEN WATCH AFTER MY SISTER FOR A DAY!! THE ONE THING THAT YOU WERE ABLE TO DO FOR ME FOR YEARS!!”

“I NEVER EVEN CAME TO VISIT YOU AGAIN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! WHAT KIND OF HEARTLESS PONY DOES THAT?!”

He lifted his head to look at her, tears still pouring out his stained eyes.

“YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME! Cough…WHY COULDN’T I BE THERE FOR YOU?!”

He slammed his head back down to soak his hooves again. He continued to splutter and cough constantly. Just then however, a sweet innocent infant voice in the back of his mind said two crucial words,

“Dra someting, hehe!”

Greenfly’s crying ceased abruptly. He sniffled occasionally as he brought his head back up to look at the sketch of Loyal Light again.

An idea. He finally got an idea.

Shakily, he reached his hoof across for a nearby piece of paper as the old one had by now been disintegrated by the mountain of fluid that had leaked onto it.

Breathing slowly, the pegasus took the pencil back in hoof for the hundredth time – this time intent on not dropping it…for the hundredth time.

His creative composure returning, the sketcher went to work.

A modest sniffle came from the pegasus now and again as he diligently worked away at his much needed distraction. He could still feel that his muzzle was full of snot and that his eyes stood ready to gush out at the slightest provocation. Still, Greenfly was managing quite alright to control his emotions.

What he’d be like after he was done however, the green pegasus couldn’t be sure.

He sighed deeply and braced himself as he drew the heart-breaking outline of Loyal Light – the artist made sure to etch it just right so that the dome kissed the dark night sky; rising far above the sea of puffy clouds. He sketched it as if he was looking at the front and towards the white ocean; the night sky splitting down evenly across both sides of its cotton stack.

Greenfly stifled a whimper as his artistic mind realised the luminous musk emitting from the lightcloud would make the perfect background for the four familiar ponies that he would soon draw.

He suddenly averted his gaze from the table and spun to his right to allow his eyes to discharge the pooling liquid on the floor rather than on his artwork. It needed to be perfect after all – otherwise the pegasus would never forgive himself.

These four ponies meant the world to him…even if his world was much smaller now.

Greenfly took a deep breath in as he shuffled back into his sketching position; having given his eyelids a little respite. He hesitated once again before his trembling hoof prepped for what perhaps might be its most strenuous creation yet.

He began by drawing two pegasi, hooves extended in an arch – ready to scoop up another-

Sniffle…whimper…

A…Another couple of special pegasi.

The male stood on the left while his partner was held in an embrace by his remaining hoof. It was obviously returned; creating a symmetrical effect between the two lovers.

He had a purple coat with strands of both orange and red in his mane. The m…mother-

Gasp…

She sported a light green coat with a violet stream of hair which curled up over the forehead. Both of them stood beaming at him as if still watching him after all these years.

If…(sniffle)…only…

He would have added their cutie marks if the angle of perception didn’t prevent him from doing so – he wanted so much to draw them in anyway. Anything at all he could add would stop him from adding the two missing ponies.
Sighing deeply again, the artist pressed on.

“Greenfly! Are you done yet? You’ve been in your room for hours!”

The light green mare’s voiced concern made it up the spiral stair to the teen’s room with little difficulty.

“Just finishing up! I’ll be down soon!” Greenfly shouted in reply.

“I should hope so, mister! Dinner is in 5 minutes!”

The young artist chuckled – had he really been working on this sketch since lunchtime? Though, it was unsurprising considering how much concentration he put into even the tiniest of pictures.

Ever since he got his cutie mark years ago, Greenfly rarely spent much time doing anything else than either draw or think about drawing. Well…that and Loyal. But she wasn’t going anywhere after all.

After making a final adjustment to his newest creation, the pegasus slipped off his stool and started to walk onto the first floor landing. He then proceeded to the stairs.

“Greenfly?”

He paused at his mother’s question.

“Yes?”

“Can you please check on your sister? See if she’s still asleep?”

Greenfly smiled. “Sure thing!”

The green pegasus retreated from the tip of the stairs and trotted back in the direction of his sibling’s room. He edged the door open quietly so as not to wake the potentially sleeping infant.

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And asleep she was. Through the bars of her cot, Greenfly spotted his sister curled up in a snug ball and snoring peacefully. He lay his front hooves over the side of the cot and watched as his sister’s fuzzy orange fur rose and fell in a humble rhythm.

She was too cute to resist a small nuzzle. With that, Greenfly leant his head down towards his sound asleep sister intent on giving her just that.

Hey, Scoo-

RRRUUUMMMBBBLLLEEE!!!!

Thunder slammed into the shaken home causing Greenfly to abandon his plans for affection. He shot a look at the window which featured nothing but the dark clouds that he had expected to find with occasional streak of lightning illuminating them.

Damm! That sound must have…

He gaze quickly darted back to his still asleep sister. She hadn’t even stirred.

Woah…you really are a heavy sleeper aren’t you?

Not wishing to disturb her further, Greenfly retracted his hooves from the cot and trotted out the room; leaving his sibling to her slumber.

His mother was lifting dinner onto the table when the teenage pegasus descended down the stairs. It smelled like hayburgers.

Suddenly, a nearby window swung violently open; taking away the aroma of the burgers with it as the cold wet air from the raging storm drafted in.

“Celestia, it’s wild out there tonight. The weather ponies really outdid themselves this time!”

Greenfly grunted firmly in reply; flying off to close the window and secure it with the latch. As with most buildings in Cloudsdale, the walls and its accessories were all made up of clouds and so likewise was the window and latch funnily enough.

At least it didn’t make a thud like windows here do…

“I sure hope nopony is out there in this storm,” Greenfly’s mother stated worriedly.

There isn’t Mom…believe me…

“Now let’s eat before this dinner gets cold. Your father should be down shortly.”

The green pegasus didn’t waste any time – he was starving. Turns out sketching for half the day works up quite the appetite. He slid onto the chair and began munching away on his hayburger.

It wasn’t until Greenfly had finished his second burger that his father came down the stairs.

“Oh there you are honey, I put your hayburgers back in the oven…Is everything alright, dear?”

Greenfly had too noticed that his father looked a little bit sterner than usual.

“I’m afraid dinner is going to have to wait, dear. I just picked up a SOS on the tower radio from a pegasi convoy not far from here. I’m going to aid them if I can.”

“Are you sure?” Greenfly’s mother retorted, a touch of anxiety on her tone. “This storm looks very dangerous; it may not be worth the risk, dear.”

I agree, listen to Mom. Please.

His father simply shook his head and pointed a hoof towards his cutie mark – a lone eye on a silver shield.

“It is our duty as lightcloud keepers to respond to those in need. I must go,” he affirmed.

No…don’t...

“Then…”

No…Mom…

“…I’m going with you, dear. I can’t let you go alone.”

She trotted over to her husband and held him in an embrace before separating and confirming her intentions with a confident nod.

Greenfly’s father turned to him. “Son, I trust you can watch over your sister while we are out?”

No! Don’t go!

“Of course, Dad,” Greenfly answered with a smile.

“Thank you, son. We should return soon.”

As the pair of them headed for the front door, Greenfly got up and also began towards the door. The front door groaned open as the gale force outside encroached on the homestead – the tufts of their manes rippling in the ferocious gust.

Greenfly’s mother was taken aback slightly but nevertheless flexed her wings and took off into the storm.

NO! MOM!

“Be careful!” Greenfly said while waving a hoof at his father.

“Don’t worry, Greenfly. We’ll be back soon.”

NO YOU WONT! DON’T GO!

The two of them shared a hoof bump. Greenfly smiled; well assured as he watched his father extend his wings to join Greenfly’s mother in the search.

NO! GREENFLY! DON’T CLOSE THAT DOOR! GREEN-

The whole room shook as the pegasus tumbled off the chair and onto the floor, utterly flooding it with a new pool of tear water. His conscience kicked in as his memory faded and Greenfly became aware once again of his emotional breakdown.

He hadn’t thought about it this much in years. Why now?

Because I’m a failure to my parents, Loyal and my sister.

The pegasus continued sobbing into the mostly soaked timber floor – making sure every last drop had leaked before getting back to his hooves to finish the sketch. Greenfly let out a sigh which caught in his breath as he attempted to relax himself on the chair again.

Looking down at this drawing – having been spared the flood – he observed the green teen pegasus and the ecstatic orange purple-maned filly in his hooves; wrapped around the comforting embrace of their parents.

He grimaced as he tried to stop a tear leaking down onto the image. He couldn’t stand to see it any longer. Fumbling for his nearby eraser, he slid it roughly across the outlines of the elder pegasi, leaving only the brother and sister.

Greenfly waited patiently in his sister’s room for his parents to return home. He sat there reading a book which he had been given for his last birthday while trying to block out the intrusive sounds of the raging storm outside.

He could just as easily have read it on the kitchen table or in his room but the tranquillity of the young filly’s room was as good as atmosphere as any. Plus it meant that he could keep a closer eye on his younger sis and make certain she had been watched over like his father had asked him.

The fact that he was close to her always made Greenfly feel happy. He would often sneak into her room to energize his creative vibes for something to draw before his mother came and pulled him out barking “She needs her sleep! You don’t know how long it took me to get her to sleep this time!”

Greenfly grinned at the memory. He supposed that he was allowed to be in here this time, considering he was the only one in the house after all.

The pegasus hummed in satisfaction of finishing yet another chapter. The fourth one so far. He eyed the clock in the room before continuing to read.

It was nearing midnight. His parents had been gone for hours now. Greenfly would have been lying if he said he wasn’t getting a little bit edgy about it. Still, he found comfort that his favourite little filly lay asleep in the cot across from him.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

Woah…Strike that!

Greenfly had only just taken his eyes off the numerous lines of words in the book when the unexpected outburst exploded around the room. The pegasus put the book aside and hurried over to soothe the wailing filly.

“Shhh…shhhh it’s OK, I’m here now…”

He reached his hooves over and picked the orange filly up; hugging her up against his cheek. She continued to wail but it sounded ever so slightly softer.

What had caused her to awake so suddenly? Could have been the storm but she had slept through it for hours before. As Greenfly patted the filly’s back, all he could do was wonder.

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Please…anything Loyal…give me anything…

The pegasus stared out towards the endless expanse of clouds; determined to find any glimmer of hope to reignite that in his head which had been long extinguished. His parents had not returned that whole night even though the storm had abated by around three in the morning. Greenfly had expected them to return tout suite after that but they were still absent when the sun broke from its slumber.

And it had been that way for near three days now.

His sister was becoming difficult to quell as she constantly pleaded for the one thing Greenfly could only imagine she would want – her mother’s affection. He had hardly even left her side all week and only just scarcely managed to put her to sleep to allow him to scour the view surrounding the tower as he was doing just now.

Nothing….

Greenfly sniffled slightly as he turned his gaze from his current view and flew to another position in the circular tower – allowing him to keep watch of all angles and viewpoints that Loyal could give him.

He relaxed himself into the warmth of Loyal’s elements; trying to escape all the panic that was filling his mind. He was beginning to fear the worst.

“We’ll be back soon. Don’t worry, Greenfly.”

The assuring words of his father maintained Greenfly’s optimism, keeping up his search while the latter of him begged the pegasus to accept the inevitable.

His surveying yielding again no results, the green pegasus sighed and drooping his head he wandered slowly over to the third recurring viewpoint that formed the final corner of the triangle in which he continuously went.

Greenfly couldn’t help it as his pessimism was starting to get the better of him and soon his eyes began to water. He had never been this long without his parents and not even knowing where they were was even worse.

Before reaching the third spot, Greenfly halted and instead turned towards the control panel for the magical aura of the Loyal’s luminescence. He increased the light beam’s intensity.

DING-DONG!

The pegasus went off like a shot. The first sound other than either his whimpering or his sister’s wails just came through the house. Before he even knew it, he was downstairs and reaching his hoof for the door. His excited smile however fell at the sight of the stranger dressed in black.

“Good afternoon, Greenfly,” he said solemnly.

Greenfly stood motionless, unsure of what to say. How had this pegasus known who he was? His thoughts were soon broken however as the stranger kept on speaking.

“Did you know that the light is on in stark daylight?”

Greenfly felt stupid for saying it. “Yes.”

“Oh…umm.” The pegasus in black dress shook himself all over as if he had just got side-tracked.

“Greenfly, I’m afraid I have some bad news to tell you…”

Bad news?

…

Something in the teen’s mind clicked as he noticed the nature of the stranger’s black clothing.

No…please…no…

“Greenfly, your parents are…”

The last word hit Greenfly hard in the chest but the wail that had exploded out didn’t escape his lips.

It had come from the orange filly in the cot upstairs.