My Little Pony Six Word Biographies

by Godslittleprincess

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Original Character, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Other, Anthology, Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2971

Inspired by the SMITH Magazine Six-Word Memoirs Project. I basically took as many characters as I could from six seasons worth of this show and described them each using no more and no less than six words. Enjoy.

The following is a collection of biographical works written by the noblestallion, fourth wall breaker, and amateur historian and poet Sir Witty Quill. Following the reformation of the changeling race, Sir Quill made it his life's mission to record the legacy of Equestria's greatest heroes and their affiliates with as much wit and brevity as possible. Unfortunately, Sir Quill died of ponymonia sometime prior to the founding of the School of Friendship and then faded into obscurity, leaving his writings unfinished, unsorted, and unpublished. I, his descendant Calligraphy "Callie" Brush, have taken it upon myself to rectify two of the prior three problems.

Author's note: I am taking characters from My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and summing up who they are using no more and no less than six words each. I am fully aware that some of my biographies may not do a character justice, but I'll do my best. Also, I don't take requests. I will write about who I write about. I will not cover every single character that appeared on the show, only the ones that made an impression on me. This collection will only cover up to season 6. Inspired by SMITH Magazine's Six Word Memoirs.
EDIT: Most of the stuff in this collection was last written and edited back in season 6. I'm sorry if things have changed since then, but I'm not messing with what I've already got.

Published 2018-10-08 22:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-10-08 22:00:01 UTC

Mane Cast

Princess Twilight Sparkle
Friendship brought out the princess inside.

Applejack "AJ"
Integrity and family are her core.

Fluttershy
Timidity and meekness hide her strengths.

Rarity
Bringing out the beauty in others

Pinkamena "Pinkie" Diane Pie
Life and laughter are for sharing.

Rainbow "Crash" Dash
Rough exterior hides a loyal heart.

Cutie Mark Crusaders

Sweetie Belle
Combine sugar, spice, mischief, and volume.

Apple Bloom
Late bloomers can be awesome, too.

Scootaloo
She don’t need wings to fly.

Babs Seed
The cycle of revenge stops here.

Gabriela “Gabby” the Griffon
Proof that griffon-y sunshine is possible

Apple Family

Big McIntosh
His few words hide many talents.

Granny Smith
Who you callin’ senile, you whippersnapper?

Cousin Braeburn
Never trust this goofball to babysit.

Auntie Applesauce
Putting the “lady” in “old lady”

Apple Rose
Favorite cousins keep the heart young.

Goldie Delicious
Lover of cats and various heirlooms

Callie's Notes: In the process of researching and writing about the Apple family, Sir Quill was unable to discover the identity of Big McIntosh, Applejack, and Apple Bloom's parents due to the Apple family matriarchs being wary of sharing the more checkered parts of their family history with a stranger, so Sir Quill chose not to press further.

Canterlot and Crystal Empire Royalty

Princess Cadance
Her love lit up the shadows.

Shining Armor
Friends and family are worth protecting.

Princess Celestia
Even the best leaders aren’t perfect.

Princess Luna
Guardian of dreams, mistress of moonlight

Princess Flurry Heart
I can’t stop being this cute.

Prince Blueblood
Your Prince Charming’s at another castle.

Callie's Notes: Princess Flurry Heart and the Cake twins were still infants at the time this collection was being written. It seems that my ancestor, in his eccentricity, thought that writing biographies for babies would be a good idea.

Author's Note

Yes, he's a pain in the butt, but I can't bring myself to classify Blueblood as a villain in any way. This was the best category that fit him.

Dragons

Spike the Dragon
This baby dragon is concentrated awesome.

Princess/Dragon Lord Ember
Tougher and nicer than I look

Dragon Lord Torch
AGREE WITH ME! I command you.

Author's Note

I was originally going to have Spike with the Mane Cast, but I didn't have enough dragons for one chapter.

Pets

Owlowiscious the Owl
Every library needs a trusty owl.

Winona the Collie
AJ! I ruv roo so much!

Angel Bunny the Rabbit
This mean bunny’s capable of niceness.

Gummy the Alligator
Life with Pinkie does not suck.

Opalescence “Opal” the Cat
I am no Hello Kitty. Mrowr!

Tank the Tortoise
I won’t forget about you, Dashie.

Philomena the Phoenix
I love messing with other ponies.

Boulder the Rock
Maud: the cheese to my crackers

Callie's Notes: Being the barely sane eccentric that he was, my ancestor fancied himself to be a fluent pet whisperer. The truth or falsehood of that belief will forever go unconfirmed.

Reformed Villians

Author's Note

The villains in this chapter are the ones that were reformed in the show and/or the movies. If a villain appeared on the show but was reformed in expanded material, then he/she is not going to be here.

Reformed Villians

Sunset Shimmer
Never going back, never backing down

Starlight Glimmer
New friendships are chances worth taking.

Trixie Lulamoon
Sacrificed actual skills for dramatic presentation

Discord
I’m wild but can be tamed.

Diamond Tiara
Meanness is inherited, well, not really.

Silver Spoon
Snobbery’s only fun for so long.

Gilda the Griffon
Too cool, except when I’m not

Major Villains

Nightmare Moon
What happens when dreams become nightmares

Queen Chrysalis
Feeds on love but possesses none

King Sombra
Shadows were no match for light.

Tirek
Power hungry and proud of it

Adagio Dazzle
Trapping you with webs of song

Aria Blaze
My malice hungers for your submission.

Sonata Dusk
I’m proof that evil airheads exist.

Abacus Cinch
Only dreaming of winning is wrong.

Midnight Sparkle
Never underestimate the power of insanity.

Gaea Everfree
No one is taking my land!

Callie's Notes: According to Sir Quill's research notes, he found out about the Mirror World when the Bearer of Laughter, Ms. Pinkamena Pie, let it slip during a rather fast-paced and long interview full of tangents and side stories. He was even actually able to visit the other world thanks to a combination of unicorn magic and his fourth wall breaking abilities. Of course, he had the foresight to create the portal in a secluded area and to reseal it after he finished his research. No, I will not publish the details of his methods because they were dangerous and risky. I am well aware that some of these villains are corrupted versions of other figures who already have biographies. However, Sir Quill chose to treat them as separate entities, and his reasons for doing this will forever remain unknown because I was unable to find any mention of his motivations for doing so in his notes, at least the sections that were still readable.

Author's Note

I realize that Nightmare Moon, Midnight Sparkle, and Gaea Everfree are corrupted forms of Princess Luna, EG-verse!Twilight, and Gloriosa Daisy. I'm treating them as separate entities because I wanted to write about them. Also, I'm not writing about the EG-verse versions of the main cast because I think that the biographies that I wrote for the pony versions can apply to the EG-verse versions, even Twilight and Spike. (Granted, EG-verse!Spike isn't a baby dragon, but he's still concentrated awesome.)

The Wonderbolts

Spitfire
Lead with fire; bring the heat.

Soarin "Clipper"
I’m one awesome, kick-butt goofball.

Fleetfoot "Flatfoot"
Making cool breezes on hot days

Wonderbolt Hopefuls

Sky Stinger
Learning to work for my shot

Vapor Trail
Even wingponies deserve some spotlight time.

Angel Wings
I’m just glad to be here.

Keys of Harmony

Coco Pommel
Inspired to weave together a community

Cheese Sandwich
Meet your hero; don’t go overboard.

Seabreeze
Tiny guy toughs out long journey.

Silver Shil
The truth has set me free.

Cake Family

Carrot Cake
Baking and dadding until I’m ragged.

Cup Cake
What would hubby do without me?

Pound Cake
A tiny tornado of mass destruction

Pumpkin Cake
Sugar and spice and unicorn magic

Episode 100 Major Characters

Cranky Doodle Donkey
I smile on the inside, sometimes.

Matilda the Donkey
He was bound to find me eventually.

Muffins/Derpy Hooves
Klutzy body, wonky eyes, sweet heart

Doctor/Time Turner
Great whickering stallions, am I scatterbrained!

Lyra Heartstrings
Sitting on benches, LIKE A BOSS!

Bon Bon/Sweetie Drops
Best friends will forgive your secrets.

Octavia Melody
Cellos are a mare’s best friend.

Vinyl Scratch/DJ-PON3
Escape into the music with me.

Steven Magnet
Paying it forward, fabulous mustache style!

Pie Family

Igneous “Iggy” Rock Pie
Four daughters, one wife, life rocks.

Cloudy "Big Mama Q" Quartz
Rock solid mares raise amazing families.

Limestone Pie
Rough mare runs smooth rock farm.

Maudalina "Maud" Daisy Pie
My poems are all about rocks.

Marble Pie
I’m only a rock farmer’s daughter.

Callie's Notes: Thanks to a bout of eccentricity, it never occurred to Sir Quill to ask the Pie family what Marble and Limestone's full names were, and by the time that he made this realization, he was already bedridden with ponymonia.

Other Fashion Ponies

Photo Finish
Using film to capture “ze magicks”

Sassy Saddles
Fashion is more than just sales.

Plaid Stripes
Great ideas can be weird sometimes.

Author's Note

This chapter only exists because Unsorted Characters was getting full. If you're wondering why Plaid Stripes is here, the chapter title says "Other Fashion Ponies." It doesn't say that they're all good at it.

Assorted Equestrian Cooks and Bakers

Gustave le Grand
Eclairs are love; eclairs are life.

Donut Joe
Have a donut with extra sprinkles.

Mulia Mild
Your competition’s stiffer than my mousse.

Saffron Masala
Put some love in that spice.

Coriander Cumin
Happiness is cooking with your daughter.

Our Town Residents

Sugar Belle
True friends give life true flavor.

Party Favor
Real friendship is bouncy and colorful.

Night Glider
Friendship takes you to the skies.

Double Diamond
A true friend lifts you up.

Twilight's Magic School Friends

Moon Dancer
Friends make mistakes; they’re still friends.

Minuette
I’m friends with the princess, really!

Twinkleshine
You need to make some friends.

Lemon Hearts
One time! That was ONE TIME!

Hooffields and McColts

Grub Hooffield
Plant an abundant harvest, not strife.

Piles McColt
Build a home, not a battlefield.

Ma Hooffield
From food fight to potluck party

Big Daddy McColt
Time to rebuild a burnt bridge

Equestria Boys

Author's Note

If you're a Flash Sentry hater, I strongly advise you to refrain from reading this chapter. If you choose to read this chapter, please refrain from posting hateful comments. All hateful comments will be deleted.

Equestria Boys

Flash Sentry
Be there. Do right. It matters.

Microchips
School just got a lot weirder.

Sandalwood
Just the guy with the dreads

Timber Spruce
I’m one hey of a charmer.

Crystal Prep Academy Shadowbolts

Sour Sweet
I’m nice. DON’T DISAGREE WITH ME!

Sugarcoat
Bringer of verbal blunt force trauma

Lemon Zest
Live to jam, love to rock

Indigo Zap
Love to compete, ready to win

Sunny Flare
Here because I have to be

Author's Note

Yes, I realize that Sunny Flare's biography is painfully uninspired, but other than her "dearie" comment to Fluttershy and calling out the principal, the movie didn't really give me much to go on about her or her personality.

Seasons

Season 1
The adventure of friendship has begun.

Season 2
Everypony takes part in friendship’s journey.

Season 3
Finished chapters lead to new beginnings.

Season 4
Friendships are like plants, always growing.

Season 5
There’s always room for new friendships.

Season 6
Everypony does something pretty darn awesome.

Callie's Notes: If it wasn't already evident, my ancestor and I are fourth wall breakers.

Author's Note

If I choose to continue this onto Season 7 (and that's a big IF), I'm probably going to post it on a separate series. I know the seasons aren't ponies, but I just thought it'd be fun to attempt to sum up each season in 6 words.

Introduction

Author's Note

I had to add this part because the moderators wouldn't let me publish this because it isn't a story. :ajbemused: "sigh" I worked so hard on everything too, so this frustrates me to no end.

Introduction

Hello, readers from beyond the fourth wall, my name is Calligraphy "Callie" Brush. What you are now reading is a collection of biographical writings written by my ancestor Sir Witty Quill of the Canterlot nobility.

After the reformation of the changeling race and the subsequent defeat of Queen Chrysalis, Sir Quill made it his life's mission to immortalize the legacy of Equestria's greatest heroes and their affiliates. In order to do so, Sir Quill, like the barely sane eccentric he was, set out to write biographies of every single one of the following characters that you are about to read about. Fortunately, also like the barely sane eccentric that he was, Sir Quill decided that he would devote only six words to each biography in honor of the six Elements of Harmony and their Bearers, no more, no less. Unfortunately, Sir Quill died of ponymonia prior to the founding of the School of Friendship, leaving his collection of biographies unfinished. After his death, Sir Quill faded into obscurity, and his writings were seemingly lost.

However, in the last two years, I have discovered my ancestor's writings and set out to make them known to the world. Unfortunately, in the process, I ran into two problems. Firstly, the collection was completely disorganized. I ended up using up a better part of a year to make it readable. Secondly, both my ancestor and I have a condition that allows us to have an awareness of the fourth wall, and it seems that that condition has affected my ancestor's writing and my organizational system, making the collection unpublishable in Equestria. Thankfully, with the help of the Lord of Chaos Discord, I was able to send it to your universe. I hope you enjoy.

Minor Baddies

Flim Flam brothers
They’re always trying to sell something.

Ahuizotl
Stuff he loves: villainy and cats

Garble the Dragon
Thick scales, thicker skull, terrible personality

Lightning Dust
I’m gonna obliterate the competition, literally.

Dr. Caballeron
He’d rob his own mother’s grave.

Suri Polomare
I get what I want, mmkay?

Wind Rider
My records were unbroken, until now.

Spoiled Rich nee Spoiled Milk
Anything to climb up the ladder

Svengallop
I sell music to get perks.

Zesty Gourmand
True flavor is painfully minimalist. “Facehoof”

Gladmane
Ain’t nothin’ but a false friend

Callie's Notes: Yes, Sir Quill's biography for Zesty Gourmand does indeed include "'Facehoof'" as the sixth word. I did say that my ancestor was a barely sane eccentric.

Author's Note

I really did not like Zesty Gourmand and her philosophy on what makes good food, at all. :facehoof:

Other Ponyville Residents

Mayor Mare
I keep this town running, somehow.

Cheerilee
Teaching: somepony’s got to do it

Zecora
Friend that’s true, potions she brews.

Snips and Snails
Just Ponyville’s resident pair of clowns

Bulk Biceps
Big impressions make all the difference.

Aloe and Lotus Blossom
Life could use some more pampering.

Lily Valley, Rose, and Daisy
More fragile than their own flowers

Filthy Rich
Just call me Rich, just Rich.

Pipsqueak “Pip"
Small colts can have big expectations.

Featherweight
Born to work in the press

Tender Taps
Dancing my heart into every step

Callie's Notes: In the process of writing Snips and Snails's biography, my ancestor greatly lamented his inability to include Snails's skill in buckball in the six words that he allotted himself.

Author's Note

Yes, I know the opening description to this said six words for each character, but I had a hard time writing about Snips, Snails, the spa ponies, and the flower ponies without lumping them together. The show doesn't really tell as much about their personalities as individuals. This is also why I only wrote one biography instead of two for the Flim Flam brothers in the "Minor Baddies" chapter.

Shy Family

Fluttershy’s Mom/Mrs. Shy
Watching my kids grow and blossom

Fluttershy’s Dad/Mr. Shy
I supported my family on clouds.

Zephyr Breeze
The Breeze does magic with manes.

Callie's Notes: In his research of Ms. Fluttershy's family, Sir Quill was actually able to discover the names of her parents. Unfortunately, every single mention of their names in his notes was somehow rendered unreadable. On a different note, when he discovered that Ms. Rainbow Dash did indeed have living parents, he scheduled to meet up with them for an interview, but he suddenly became ill and was unable to write anything about them. Hence, they are not included in this collection. A sudden illness also prevented him from interviewing and writing about Princess Twilight and Prince Shining Armor's parents.

Author's Note

Fluttershy's parents seriously need their own official names. :ajbemused:

Unsorted Characters

Sapphire Shores
Perfection and pizzazz in every performance

Daring Do/A.K. Yearling
Go on adventures and write books.

Iron Will
I’m a minotaur! Hear me ROAR!

Ms. Harshwhinny
Trust me. I am THE professional.

Tree Hugger
When in doubt, make whale music.

The Smooze
Loves shiny things and whale noises

Troubleshoes Clyde
Can’t let luck run my life.

"Countess" “Rara” Coloratura
My voice is all I need.

Sunburst
Not a wizard, just a nerd

Buried Lede
Write everything down; leave nothing out.

Quibble Pants
Life in Equestria equals contrived coincidences.

King Thorax the Changeling
Not draining love for her anymore

Gloriosa Daisy
I’ve got this, maybe, I think.

Callie's Notes: Sir Quill wrote Iron Will's biography before his crimes against the royal family came to light. Who knew he could be capable of such atrocities?

Author's Note

Before anyone asks why Iron Will is under "Unsorted" instead of "Minor Baddies," it's because he doesn't come of as a bad guy to me. To me, he just comes off a motivational speaker who gives ponies bad advice.

Afterword by Callie

And that dear readers, concludes Sir Witty Quill's collection of six-word biographies. Unfortunately, despite having lived through the return of the Pillars and the defeat of the Storm King, for some reason, Sir Quill was unable to write about any of them. Possible reasons for this could be his busy schedule and fluctuating health. However, if I could give my two bits on the matter, I personally believe that, despite their brevity, researching for and writing these biographies took Sir Quill a long time and that he was probably still working on this collection of biographies when those events happened. I have considered completing my ancestors life's work by writing about the other ponies and creatures that the Element Bearers met after the changeling reformation; however, my work as a historian and a professor at Canterlot University has left me little time to do so. Furthermore, as you know, Sir Quill's writing includes information regarding the Mirror World, and the methods he used to access that world without Princess Twilight's mirror were horribly risky, and I quite enjoy living. Thank you very much. Despite my reservations, perhaps, I will write my own collection of brief biographies myself someday, but until that day comes, I hope Sir Quill's collection will inspire you to examine your own lives and histories and to exercise your own wit through brevity and the written language. With that my dear readers, I bid you good reading.

Calligraphy Brush

Author's Note

Hopefully, the introduction and afterword somehow magically makes this a story. :ajbemused: