Sir William and the Broken Alicorn

by Opium4TmassS

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Adventure, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Thriller, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 13059

The knight Sir William De Molay and his Squire Aurora Rosewater are forced to take on an evil forgotten broken Alicorn.

Once again our favorite crazy knight is back. A sequel to Lady Trixie and the Black Knight. The insane Sir William De Molay and his not insane squire Aurora Rosewater are caught up in a dark forgotten part of Equestrian history. As the Broken Alicorn raises her army of the dead to take over.

It will be a time for heroes...Any kind of hero would be good right about now.

Published 2016-02-23 16:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-02 00:40:21 UTC

The whispers of battle

It was a black place.

I mean all black and not the cool black either. Nothing like the gothic black clothing you bought from certain stores in the mall. Nor the kind of black you wear when you wanted to write terrible poems about how no one understands you, or listen to music that sings about how the corporations are wanting to buy your soul, and also to watch movies about sad beautiful vampire teenagers complaining how bad life is for being a beautiful teenage vampire. This wasn't that kind of black. The only poems you would write in this place would go something like: Gee it's really black in here, I can't see a thing. I wish somepony would turn on a light. But would probably make it all rhyme.

Except for the white spots that ran along her mane and body. The Alicorn, whose name was Constellation blended almost perfectly with the background. If it wasn't for her moving across the parapet walkway she would have been almost invisible. Which proves that she was evil. Good ponies usually find someplace nice and warm to build their sanctuaries at. Preferably near a beach where they can ogle all the cute females, (or males, depending on who you go for.) When not doing their general goodness.

As a matter of fact this place is so evil that if you take evil and multiply it by infinity with another evil infinity and then add a one to it, It would be this place. It is that evil.

Constellation at one time would have laughed her maniacal laugh over her newest threat she had planned for the two sisters. Having been imprisoned here for well over a thousand years which would have made even the mildest of villains justifiably cranky. But she did not, having long ago decided not to be that type of evil doer. The kind that after capturing the hero would tell them everything they needed to know on how to stop them, before locking them away in their dungeon, usually unguarded, with the keys easily within reach of the hero's sidekick, love interest, or trained ninja spider monkey named Eric, take your pick.

No! She learned the error of her ways. She was going to be a villain that actually gets things done.

Constellation quietly scanned the world around her. Absently watching the vortex of churning black magical energy that closed off her castle from the rest of Equestria. It was the two sisters doing in the final battle with them so long ago. Taking not only her freedom to do what she wished, but her horn and cutie mark as well. Becoming known as the Broken Alicorn before her being vanquishing from the world.

That final battle cost her more than just her armies, horn and cutie mark, but also her magic. But not completely, after centuries of concentration and willpower she had regained a lot of what she had lost. A lot, but not all of it, certainly not enough to take on the princesses again. But enough to fit her plans.

Her loyal armies of ponies that stood beside her in battle, slain and buried on the grounds around her. "Soon my friends," she said. "We shall pay them back for everything they had done to us tenfold. Soon the rivers of Equestria will run red with their blood and I shall personally wear Celestia's horn on my head. A fitting replacement don't you think."

"Ahem," said the stone small cat sitting next to her, "that was a pretty standard villain speech. Rivers will run red with their blood? Who says that? Seriously? Next you will be wearing a black cape and tying maidens to train tracks demanding that they sign over the orphanage to you, while twirling your mustache."

"Thanks for ruining the moment for me Cosco," Constellation snorted angrily. "Any other parade you want to rain on? Want to go criticize my wardrobe? Laugh at the paintings of me? Well go inside right now if you want. Might as well tear down everything else."

"Temper, temper Con I'm only trying to help," the stone cat said stretching itself. Created by Constellation a few hundred years ago when she had gained enough of her magic. It was a tool she used to help her with this new way of thinking. After spending the ages to reflect on her faults, and observe the mistakes of others various villains after her.

She realized she needed a new approach to evil. No more leaving out clues for a group of kids and their dog to find as you dress up as a monster to scare away tourists. No more leaving the two meter tall exhaust port opening of your battle station unguarded for a small group of rebels to destroy. No more stupidity. She is a villain who learned from her mistakes as well as the mistakes of others. And that meant unlearning everything she was before.

"Sorry Cosco. That was a good line and I have been waiting for so long to use it."

Cosco started to clean himself but stopped when he realized he had no fur to clean. Which kinda sucked. Being shaped into a cat had given him behaviors of a cat. Even though he had never seen an actual cat. He tried to figure out why he had an addiction for small shiny things that went squeak, or why he insisted on a litter box in the main room, that just sits there unused. "This must be one of those cosmic philosophy things," he mused, "probably a lot of math involved in it."

With a huff he walked over to his master. As she used her magic, the Alicorn's face contorted in concentration, being much harder after the destruction of her horn. But she was able to do it. Creating an altar from the stone's that made up her castle, black like the rock that formed it. It wasn't really that good of an altar, rather plain actually. She wanted some sharp pointy things to be sticking out of it, and maybe a few pony skulls too. But that is what the old her would have done, and she knows where that road leads too.

"Fetch me the book Cosco," said Constellation fighting the urge to let out an evil laugh.

"What's the magic wwwooorrdd?" her familiar asked. "You know I can sit here all day," he continued on. Ignoring the dirty look she gave him.

"PLEASE!" she ground out the word through her teeth, "would you PLEASE be a dear and fetch me the book."

"Your wish is my command my lord," he happily replied while scampering off to get what she asked for.

Her lips formed a tight smile, as her mind brooded over her carefully made plans. This was her time, her moment. And not even the two sisters and the elements of harmony can stop her. An tight shrill escaped her throat as the image of a burning Equestria laid under her hoof.

"I heard that! You're doing that evil laugh thing again," said Cosco returning.

"Sorry! Sorry! Caught in the moment," Constellation said with her cheeks flushing a bright red. The book was place on top of the altar as she began to rife through the pages. "With this book we shall bring my fallen army back."

"I saw that movie with you remember? Its amazing all these other dimensions we are able to look around in. Maybe we should check up on that internet thing that was mentioned in that other world."

"Later I promise. First things first, we raise an army of the dead, conquer Equestria, then we'll see about getting a internet provider," she said also intrigued by this google thing she saw.

The book was created from inspiration from other worlds like Cosco had said. It was such an easy thing to do she was surprised she hadn't thought of it before. Focusing herself and her magic as she chanted the words to a very dark and dangerous spell. Words that could drive a pony insane, and not the cool kind of insanity either. The words for the spell numbered in the thousands in a dead language long forgotten, but can be summed up into a few simple equestrian phrases: HEY YOU! WAKKEY! WAKKEY! THE BUS WILL BE HERE IN AN HOUR!

The last of her spoken words faded into the blackness of her domain. For a moment there was silence, an awful silence as if her world was gathering its strength, readying itself to leap at her. When suddenly green lightning flashed from the sky downwards, striking the ground, ripping ugly gashes in its wake. Stone, sand and rock were tossed carelessly aside as a dark and dead place was opened to the world of the living. "IT WORKED!" Constellation shouted triumphantly. Daring the universe to stop her.

A sound came from the opening to the dead. It was an awful sound. A sound created by nightmares, a sound that could rip the skin off of a normal pony. The sound twirled and whirled becoming words. Spoken words of the damned. "I'll ask one more time," said a voice like a thousand wendigo's crying out for the right to devour your soul. "Who ate all the potato salad?"

In Treants we trust.

The knight's sword twisted and swirled in complex movements, as it slashed, parried, guarded and stabbed its foe. Though the blade was in such a sad state a butter knife would be a deadlier tool. Sparks still showered as Sir William struck, pulled back and struck again. Which would have been more interesting if it was actually doing anything.

Screaming his battle cry he attacked the treant again, in his full armor which he insisted on wearing at all times. Never mind how hot the day got. You could almost see the steam coming out from the slits in his armor. As he continued hacking and slashing at the tree creature. While the creature stared down at him motionless.

Aurora Rosewater sat on the rock a distance away from her master, enjoying the midmorning sun on her. It was a rare day that she could do this, with Sir William's regiment of getting up just before the sun comes up,. breakfast, then packing up their camp before some, what he called training, which usually was her hitting plants is different ways. Conveniently forgetting she can use magic. She wasn't sure how she would fight if a real enemy approached her. But by golly if a dangerous bush or shrub jumped out at her they would be dead in seconds.

"How long has he been attacking it?" asked the young stallion. He was one of the farmhands who wandered over to investigate the noises. Sitting down next to Aurora he gave her an apple to eat as they watched Sir Williams impressive swordsponyship.

"Since morning when we woke up and found it had planted itself next to our camp," said Aurora savoring the fresh apple. Most of their supplies were dried goods. Hearty but tasteless for the open road. She had almost forgotten how wonderful a simple apple could be."

"I don't think he's doing any damage to it," said the young stallion. "Looks to me he is just tiring himself out."

"Yeah, I'll probably collect him in a few," she said stretching her body, "maybe after lunch."

"I have never seen any pony attack a treant before. I can see why. Just what did he do make him angry?"

Aurora shrugged her shoulders. Who knows what went on inside his little mad pony head. Maybe he saw Draxtar the keeper of the Underworld. Maybe it was Kirrah the devourer of souls. Or even Lash the stealer of muffins, there was no telling what goes on in that world of his. It is a burden to follow him across Equestria. The score from their travels went something like This. Saving anyone: 0, chased from towns or villages: 138. More than one night went by when she contemplated just packing up and sneaking away from him, striking out on her own. But every time she had her opportunity she always made excuses. There was always something there that kept her from leaving.

"Soooo," said the young stallion moving closer to her while awkwardly trying to put his limb around her, "What is your relationship to him?"

Aurora Rosewater said nothing, looking downward as she bit into her apple again. Her body language explaining everything to him.

"Oh." he said. Pushing himself a few feet away from her. Yes she had things going through her whenever he was with him. From wanting to follow him to the ends of Equestria, to wanting to gut him for all the insanity he caused.

"I haven't seen the treant do anything," said Aurora wanting to change the subject. "Is it even aware of him?"

"Oh yes," replied the stallion, "treants are just so slow, it takes awhile to register a change in anything. But sooner or later they will. Look see." He pointed towards the knights foe.

Ever so slowly the treant opened its mouth as a low rumbling poured forth. "OUCH!" it finally said as it continued to stare down at the knight.

Sir William was visible sagging as the exertion was finally getting to him. It was apparent how his limbs drooped and seeing the rapid rise and fall of his chest. Once more the knight raised his sword over his head, and with both limbs slash downwards, following the momentum from the swing. Crashed face first into the ground. Aurora and the stallion watched the exhausted knight lay there quietly panting.

"I have to say he has a lot of stamina lasting that long. Too bad he's crazy," said the stallion.

"Mmmm," she murmured Looking away from him. Any minute he would start asking questions she really didn't want to answer. Thankfully was stopped as alarm bells began to ring, followed with shouting. To far away to be properly understood. But obvious in their intentions. It was a warning. "What's going on?" asked Aurora.

"Trouble," said the stallion while Jumping up, "I need to get going. It was a pleasure to have met you Aurora Rosewater. Good luck to you and your friend." he said. Taking off towards the town.

"HA! Evil is afoot!" said a muffled Sir William still lying face first on the ground. "Squire prepare yourself. We move soon to confront his new horror," he said as he lifted his limb. "But first can you give me a hoof up?"

Sighing Aurora got up slowly. "It was such a nice day too," she thought to herself giving Sir William some help.

Hours later after everyone had left the camp site, and everything was finished. The treant once again rumbled another noise. "Stop!" it said finally. Wondering where everyone went.

****

"Hello everyone," said the raiding leader standing at the entrance of the small farming community, "my name is Rotgut and we are the mercenary group, Momma never loved us."

The raiding ponies behind him waved their limbs and muttered hellos while cheerfully smiling at the frightened townsfolk in their mismatched armor, as they held up very efficient and deadly weapons in their hooves.

"And we shall be invading your town today," he continued on producing a small scroll. "I have completed a schedule of what we will be doing to your community if anyone would like to read it. Also at the end of the list is a survey asking you to rate our attack. We would be very appreciative after we're done destroying your village, if you would take the time to fill it out."

Rotgut took a moment, to observe the villagers setting up a poorly made barricade before continuing. "I see that you are justifiably busy right now, so allow me to read off the highlights. At ten a.m. well start with the burning of your houses, as we steal anything of value in said houses, followed by a rather savage beating of any townsfolk i.e. you all, that attempts to get in our way. After that we will burn your fields while stealing all of your food. Also, before I forget, if you would be so kind as to rate, which mercenary was the most vicious and dangerous, for the contest we are holding, we would really appreciate it."

"Does anyone need to use the restroom before we start?" asked another mercenary. "Once we attack you won't be able to go until after the raid. So now will be the best time."

The villagers looked around at each other before a general no was said. "Okay then," said Rotgut, "and can you please put some effort into your defense. Don't be like the last town we invaded, they practically rolled on their backs when we attacked." continued Rotgut as he drew his own sword. "At the count of three: One, two, th..."

"Doers of evil I shall smite thee if you take one hoof closer with your illest of intent," said Sir William standing between the town and the small army. With a very nervous Aurora Rosewater behind him. "Today thou will not harm anyone." Raising his well worn sword at them.

Their was a small pause as the group went into a huddle to decipher what was actually said to them. After a few moments of heated discussion Rotgut finally came out, "We do believe in respect of our veterans. So as a sign of goodwill we will not kill him. Just kick him a bit in a humiliating way as we run past. FORWARD!" shouted Rotgut. As his troupe marched towards the town.

"M-Master. I think we might be a bit out of our element with this one," said Aurora. "Maybe a tactical retreat wouldn't be such a bad thing."

"Never!" cried Sir William slamming down his visor, to him the world was only black and white, "a knight never retreats, never surrenders. What kind of pony would I be if I did that?"

"A live one sir."

"Your gloom and doom attitude is noted squire," said Sir William. "But as long as I breath they will not step one hoof in this town."

"Yay! A whole two minutes of peace before being invaded. Probably have enough time harvest their fields before it is all destroyed. Might even build another house or two, give them something else to burn to the ground."

"SQUIRE!"

"Shutting up sir."

Sir William saluted his adversaries, as he swung his sword, preparing to charge. It was then when the world changed. Well not change more like work off a different script that nopony else was given.

Aurora Rosewater saw it first. A blur of gold catching the light of the sun. Becoming a bright pointy ball of pain to the mercenary group. Moving like liquid striking, stabbing, throwing, and doing a lot of other things that ended in ing. The bright golden force brought down the raiders in a furious rage of skill and vengeance. Filling the air with screams of pain, and short sentences crying on about so-and-so's part of the body shouldn't be bent to another so-and-so's part of the body.

And then it was over. Except for a few of them crying while offering lots and lots of money in exchange for assistance in the removal of certain items that had magically embed themselves into certain parts of the body during the attack. Most that were still conscious kept quiet incase their attacker suddenly realized they were still aware.

"HEY!" Yelled Sir William finally registering that a great battle went on right before him and he didn't get to join. "I was supposed to have done that."

Her armor was gold in color with many ornate etchings carved on it, glinting from the rays of the sun catching it in that right way. She wore a helmet with a long red tied plume that dripped almost all the way to her back, it had a visor to protect her eyes, but it left the face open. She stopped, finally noticing the other knight. With a quick flick she unlatched and removed her helmet.

An extremely localized gust of wind just happened to appear as she swung her head around, letting her mane fall free, while a passing storm cloud, for some unexplained reason decided to shoot out a flash of lighting. Adding to it all a passing dragon felt an unknown need to belch a spurt of flame. All of it was done in case any fantasy artist just happened to be wandering by and was looking for inspiration.

"Thank you for your assistance noble veteran," the female knight said. "But as you can see I have the situation under control." bowing slightly while stomping on the head of one of the bandits who made the mistake of trying to get up. "My name is Morgana Knight of the Dawn. Commander of Celestia's elite squad of knights the Celestial Ray's." A ray of sun hit her, while a flock of doves felt the need to fly close by. Aurora swore she heard angelic music in the background playing as all of this was going on.

"I never heard of this Celestial Rays before. I thought we just had the Wonderbolts," said Aurora.

And then the moment was gone. The doves suddenly felt very foolish, changed course. As the sun in a look of embarrassment decided to drift behind some clouds for awhile. "Well..." Morgan said drifting off, "officially there is no group, other than myself. But I'm sure when the Princesses hear about me they will make it happen."

"I'm sure they will," said Aurora ignoring Sir William stomping his hooves in frustration from not being included in the conversation. "Anyway we thank you Morgana. My master Sir William and I really app..." her words like Aurora were shoved aside as Morgana pushed her way past her.

Sword humming, as bits of magical energy sparked off. Morgana thrust out her sword as she charged at him. Face a mask of anger, she let out a throaty growl as her attack was stopped by Sir William's blade. In a clash of steel both of them glared at the other a few inches away. "My good lady," said Sir William, "I cannot possible imagine what I have done to irk you so."

"Does Nestle and the enchanted chicken ring a bell?" she asked.

"That town was under the influen...," the knight began.

"The dark wizard of Manehattan?"

"He was a most foul sor.."

"The possessed goat of Shire hills?"

"Why was I the only..."

"Face it! You are a crazy little cowardly pony playing dress up, that causes chaos wherever you travel," raged Morgana barely keeping her anger in check. "I was sent out to find you and bring you back to Sunshine Hospital," Upset that the task didn't have A GREAT EVIL! attached to it.

"HEY!" shouted Aurora grabbing Morgana and turning her around to face her, "how dare you call him a coward. Sir William is the bravest pony I have ever known, You take that back this instant!"

Sir William's chest filled with pride, hearing his squire's compliment. "Why thank yo..."

"Sure he's a hay fry short of a pony meal. But that is no reason to call this insane pony a coward..."

"Squire."

"I'll grant you he's not even mentally living in Equestria most of the time and should probably be placed in a padded cell in a very dark place, to make macaroni pictures and hoofpaint butterflies..."

"Squire."

"And I'll even agree with that he'll probably be wearing on of those tin-foil helmets so he can communicate with the space ponies or moon ponies, whichever the case may be, in a short time. Why on a scale of one-to-ten on the sanity level, one being normal, he's at least a thirty-seven..."

SQUIRE!"

"Oh. Sorry sir, got a little carried away," Aurora said. Looking sheepishly downwards.

Sir William gave Aurora a, Were-going-to-have-a-talk-about-this-later-on, look. Before speaking again to Morgana. Too involved, the three of them didn't pay attention to the townsfolk behind them approaching the grounded raiders with rope, wires and anything else they could get their hooves on.

"Lady Morgana," Sir Williams said, "I simply have no idea what you are talking about. These accusations are entirely false. My squire and I done nothing but rid this land of the many evil that threaten our glorious land. And why are you laughing squire?"

"Not laughing sir just, just stubbed my hoof on a root. Ow! Ow!" She said doing a poor performance of hopping on three hooves.

"Looks like you're laughing to me."

"Couldn't tell you why sir.”

"Anyway as generous as your offer stands, I have no intentions of going anywhere with you. I'm afraid you must return to whoever summoned you and tell them it is all a grave misunderstanding and a smirch on my good name as a knight."

"I'm afraid you have misunderstood me," said Morgana. "This wasn't a request. One way or another you are going back to that hospital."

The two ponies faced each other when the world changed yet again. A bright green haze lit the sky over them, cause you know, evil. Twisting the mist formed to shapes, then dissolving then reforming again. Until the image of an Alicorn appeared over them. She was a jet black with a black mane and tiny spots looking like dots covering her body. The most noticeable thing about her was her was the broken horn she sported on her head. Words poured from her mouth as she spoke a command well known to all who dabble in this kind of magic.

"Hello? Hello? Testing. One, two three, testing. Is this thing on?" she said looking towards someone unseen in front of her. "Greetings Everyone." she started off with a wicked smile spreading across her face. "I know you don't remember me, but I no trouble remembering all of you. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I just couldn't resist doing a little gloating. Princesses it's me Constellation remember? The Alicorn you hurt and imprisoned in this barrier oh so long ago after destroying my armies. Well I'm back again. I bet you're excited to see me, and guess what? I'm bringing some friends with me. You might remember them, the soldiers you slaughtered. Anyway I just wanted to let you know were coming, and no matter what you do, who you bring, where you go. We will find you. Besides that have a wonderful day and enjoy it before I rip Equestria and everything you love away from you....Aaaannddd we're done," said the Alicorn swiftly moving her hoof across her neck. "I think that went pretty good. What do you think?" she said talking to someone off screen, "I bet Celestia and Luna are just peeing themselves with concern...What? Their not going to see this? You told me this would be seen all across Equestria. Then what was the point of us doing this? Of course this was my idea, but...What? Were still on? Son-of-a.." The projection cutting itself off suddenly.

"What was that all about?" Asked Aurora finally. "Does anyone have a clue to what we just saw?"

"Looks like a threat to Equestria," said Morgana jumping up-and-down excitedly, "Eeeeeeeeeeee! At last! At last! Finally a chance..." she stopped remembered herself. "I see a new evil is threatening us," she said putting on her serious voice, while looking down at the both of them, and with a dismissive wave she spoke again. "The both of you are not important right now. Their is a far worse foe coming. But this isn't over! Not by a long shot!" And with that she galloped off. Leaving the both of them their to watch the clouds of dust.

"Just who is this Constellation?" asked Aurora, "and why is she so mad?"

"I have no clue," said the farmhand from earlier. "But I do feel I know the answer to that. In the next town over their is a store that sells all these supplies. He's also a history buff with the local legends and stories around these parts. I'm sure if you talk to him he'll probably give you the information you need."

"You heard the alicorn. We must stop her at once," said Sir William. "We march now." And with determination he marched forward ready to face this dire threat. Suddenly stopping and changing directions after Aurora took the time find out where they should go.

Aurora wondered if they were doing the right thing. This was something way over their heads. Beyond the imaginary cows and mice they usually faced. This was a real threat, and a real evil.

***

Rotgut awoke slowly. The harsh light from the sun making it impossible to continue on in the land of the unconscious. As he tried to put his hoof over his face to help block out the harsh light, He began to realize he couldn't, slowly as his mind began to click to the on position, Rotgut found he was immobile, while a smiling face of a pony began to float in the world in front of him.

"Hi their," said the smiling pony, "I am the mayor of this small town, and we represent the village retaliation committee. We have prepared a busy schedule of what we plan to do to you and your group. I know you're busy right now, but if you want we could just read off the highlights for you if you would like to hear it?"

Rotgut noticed the other ponies behind her. All seem to have the same bright scary smile as the mayor. Making it even more frightening was the way some of them held their farming equipment, indicating that these tools weren't going to be used in any farming in the very near future. Rotgut felt the world was going to be a very interesting place in a short time.

Owllings and Knock-Off Ponies

Owllings and Knock-Off Ponies

The plastic figure of Celestia traveled across the cardboard paper colored an off puke shade of green. Normally the poorly made doll wouldn't be able to do much of anything, let alone move. However with the help of the black hoof speckled with white spots holding it. The cheap crappy toy awkwardly hopped along the paper.

"La-la-la," said a high-pitched voice coming from above it, "what a beautiful day it is." While another hoof came next to the first one, holding a just as badly made Luna doll. "Why hello princess Luna," The voice above the figures said again while wiggling the Celestia doll. "I was just saying what a beautiful day it is."

"Yes it certainly is Princess Celestia," said Constellation becoming gruffer as it shook the darker pony. "I certainly hope nothing bad happens."

Their was a slight pause as another figure was placed on the paper. This one was of better quality than the other two. Painted black with white dots the third toy was walked to the others. "Mwahaha," said the voice again, "I Constellation has returned. and now princesses I will take my revenge." The hoof pushed the dark Alicorn over the cheap knockoff of Celestia, gloating while making the black doll danced on the white one. "Victory is mine."

"Hey you can't do that to my sister," said Constellation going back to her gruff voice again as her hoof jiggled the Luna doll around. "Me and the other princesses will stop you." Two more cheap dolls were placed upon the paper. The forth was painted lavender and smaller than the other ones, the fifth was a light pink. "Get her!" said the gruff voice shoving the three dolls at the black one.

"Ha!" the voice shouted in triumph, "no princess can stop me." And with a flick of her hoof, the black Alicorn doll tossed the other three dolls, scattering them all over the place. "Equestria is mine!" the voice insanely laughed.

"Noo! Not the Princesses! Not my wife! You defeated them all!" said Constellation using a more manly voice this time, while a sixth doll was brought in that looks a lot like Shining Armor. Better condition than the others, but still not as good as the Constellation doll. With the help of the hoof holding it the toy moved closer to the black one. "What have you done evil Alicorn that I find myself strangely attracted to."

"Haha! Now that I have defeated all the princesses, Equestria is mine, and you and me will be together forever," she said moving the two dolls together. "Well you did destroy my wife and my sister, but okay." said the Alicorn going back into her manly voice once more. Constellation made kissy sounds, while making the two dolls touch faces. This went on until Cosco entered.

"Master I...," said Cosco catching Constellation quickly grab some items and pull them under her, "you're doing it again aren't you." said Cos. More of a statement than a question, "We talked about this."

"I don't care, its my stuff," whined Constellation moving her back towards her companion. "I can do what I want with them."

Cosco rubbed his temple. Even though he was made of stone he could feel a terrible migraine coming on. "Constellation," he said in a voice as smooth as honey. in order to conceal what he was really wanting to say. Which was. "I'm gonna find something sharp and heavy if this keeps up"

"It would be really embarrassing during the planning if we had to stop everything and tell your legions of undead armies that the battle is placed on hold, because you wanted to play with your dolls."

"Their collectables!" Said Constellation. "I can do both!"

"That is IT!" Growled Cosco holding out his stone paw. "Give them to me THIS INSTANT!"

"NO! I don't wanna!"

"Constellation!"

"Fine! Fine!" She said pouting as she gave her toys to her companion.

Cosco took them while glaring at her master, "You can have them back after we're done conquering Equestria. Now pull yourself together." And with that he took off, leaving her alone on the parapet.

Downcast Constellation looked outwards towards the barrier that separated her world from the other, alone and silent. This went on for a few moments until she brought up one of her hooves.

"I have a confession to make Constellation," she said using her manly voice again. "What is it?" She responded back. Bringing up her other hoof. "I never really liked my wife and sister. I always had a crush on you. Even if I never heard of you before."

"Why Shining Armor, you say the nicest things," said Constellation bringing the two hooves together, as she starting to make kissy sounds again.

"Con!" shouted Cosco.

"I'm just sitting here!" she shouted back.

****

Hoover Hoovington was part of a small race of owl-like humanoid creatures that living near the edge of Equestria with a terrible reputation. While not evil, the race of owlings are well known for their cruelty. Mainly because their culture has such strenuous traditions that would drive even the smallest infraction made by any outsider on their way of life, into a savage fury of eye-gouging retribution. It didn't help matters that genetics had created one of the most adorable species in Equestria. Making a ponies first encounter with them overcome with a desire to grab them and give them a great big hug. Which to them was one of their biggest blasphemies.

Usually the conversation, upon seeing one for the first time went something like this: "Aww.You are just the most adorable thing I ha...AHHH! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! HE'S PECKING OUT MY EYES!"

And so down throughout the history of Equestria the ponies and the owlings have never gotten along because the ponies have unwittingly either insulted the race: "Greetings! I am part of a delegation from Canterlot wishing peace upon you...Aww well aren't you just the cutes....MY EYES! MY EYES! GET IT OFF!"

Insulted their way of life: "Greetings! Princess Celestia apologizes for any transgressions we might have accidently done, and wish only to learn about your....GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!

Insulted them by making peace on a Tuesday: "Celestia would like to resolve the rampant eye pecking around these parts. Surely we can fig....MY EYES! MY EYES!"

Or they just found it funny: "Princess Celestia humbly request that you please stop peckin....HE'S PECKING OUT MY EYES! STOP IT! STOP IT!"

Princess Celestia was about to quarantine the area, writing off the species as hopeless. When the owlings discovered something the ponies had that they didn't. Money! And with the finding of said money. They starting relaxing most of their harsh taboos. Much to the happiness of the pony population who all of a sudden started enjoying an upswing of ponies with their eyeballs still in their eye-socket.

Hoover Hoovington ran a small store on the outskirts of the wild frontier, selling everything any adventurer or average do-gooder might need in their quest for general do-goody..er...ness...thingys. Magical Swords from long dead conquering kings and queens lined one of the walls glinting from untapped potential. Armor that has seen a thousand different battles were arraigned along another. Some ring you were supposed to toss into a volcano in order to stop a great evil that no one really paid attention to sat on a display case in the middle of the store collecting dust. Shiny shields that silently spoke of the horror's of wars. Along with food, Medical Supplies, clothing, guides maps. and of course the most well known Adventure's book "Is that a Borworm Parasite digging through your Stomach or are you just Happy to see Me? And other humorous What-Not-To-Do Adventuring Tips."

Surprisingly most of his business had nothing to do with adventuring. Instead Hoover Hoovington found a great deal of his income from the sale of highly specialized female armor. The kind that was composed of two leather strings and a small metal triangle that barely covered anything, yet somehow manage to deflect any arrows or sword strikes to the entire body, while also giving curves to a pony that never had curves before. More surprising than that, was the fact it wasn't even bought by adventurers. Usually it was purchased by snickering couples, blushing and giggling madly as they would look over each one meticulously. Hoover was sure most of the ponies that bought it never went on quests or adventures. If they did it would be very localized ones that happened in their bedrooms. Like the quest for the hidden sock kind of adventure.

The bell above the door rang sharply as Sir William and Aurora Rosewater entered, bringing Hoover out of his dozing. It had been a slow day for him and the warmth of spring had lulled him into a little nap. The scent of more bits into his wings activated his Five bits for my grandmother. Ten if you don't want her to peck out your eyes. smile.

"Welcome! Welcome all to Hoover Hoovington's House of Heroes Supplies," He said using his special Let's-just-give-me-all-of-your-money-now-and-save-time voice. "What can I do for you on this fine Equestrian day?"

"Merchant we are in need of some dire assistance for a grave and terrible evil that threatens this good and noble land of ours," said Sir William. "Any help you give us will be greatly appreciated in this darkest hour."

Hoovington's eyes glazed over, with his mind working full steam to understand what is being said to him. "Does he uh talk like this all the time?" he finally said asking Aurora. "Or did he eat some of those purple mushrooms that grow out in the fields. I try to warn ponies who are new to this area about that. After all they grow from cow sh..."

"Anyway," Aurora interrupted, "we came here looking for help. I was told you had information about local legends and stories."

"Oh I see. I must have put out the wrong sign today," said Hoover looking disappointed.

"Which sign? What are you talking about?"

"The one that says I give anything away for free," Hoover said glaring at the two ponies. "Now if you aren't buying anything I suggest you get out of my store this instant."

"Rude Knave!" bristled Sir William, "how would you like to feel the flat of my blade Truth upon you." Drawing out his sword, that made a sound like a rusted can slowly moving across a blackboard that had parent issues.

"How would you like to spend the next three days looking for your eyes," Hoover Hoovington shot back feathers standing up.

"Both of you stop it," growled Aurora. "Mr. Hoover we will buy something. But you have to tell us everything. And you," she said turning towards Sir William. "Since when has your sword been named Truth?"

"It has always been named Truth, or rather TRUTH was always its name," said Sir William proudly.

"Not it hasn't. You just named it," Aurora shot back.

"Never! Ever since I defeated the unnamed creature of in the cave of No Return..."

"We found the sword in a trash bin after escaping Sunshine Hospital. You know right behind that old theater that performed all those great plays."

"Nonsense. TRUTH was handcrafted by the Queen of Nazeroth in her eternal quest to destroy the conquering darkness."

"Whatever," said Aurora giving up, "just let me know next time. So I guess Truth, sorry TRUTH is the name of the sword"

"Excuse me," said Mr. Hoover butting in, "as much as I am enjoying this. You did say you would buy something."

"Yes, yes I did. But first I want you to tell me about Constellation."

"What? Those stars in the sky thing? I'm afraid that never interested me. I know about the big dipper but that's about it."

"No. I meant what do you know about an Alicorn named Constellation? She apparently was some evil alicorn that Celestia and Luna beat a long time ago and now she's returning. Is their any information about her?"

"Hmm," said Hoovington rubbing his chin, "I do remember something. Let me go check." And with that he went behind some curtains that separated the front and the back where the living quarters were. It was short time before he came back holding a book under his wings. It was an old tomb, obviously handed down from generation to generation. On the cover in faded gold lettering was the title which read "Bosses and Baddies. A guide to low level monsters." With a loud thump Hoover Hoovington slammed the book down on the counter, causing a small cloud of dust to rise overhead. "Let's see," he mumbled to himself while pouring through the pages, "Ah here we go," he said. As he began reading.

"What does it say?" asked Aurora.

"Says here that Constellation arriveth after the falleth of Discord," said Sir William. "With her armies of dark knights and mercenaries. She attempted to conquer Equestria but was stoppeth by the two Princesses, at the Battle of Ruby Canyon."

"Stop that please," said Hoover Hoovington, "all those thees and thous are giving me a headache."

"Why this is how a knight properly communicates to the commoners around him. And no one is more proper and I."

"Rrrriiiggghhttt," said Hoover Hoovington turning towards Aurora, "from now on I'm just going to be talking to you.

"Her armies were defeated and she was imprisoned in a magical cage cut off from the rest of the world that was created by the Elements of Harmony," said Aurora Rosewater reading along while ignoring both of them.

"And that's really it," said Hoover Hoovington closing the book with a snap. "There's not much to her it seems. More of a footnote in Equestrian Conquers and not an interesting one at that. Now about you buying something."

"But what was the deal with that message she sent? She obliviously feels she has something over the princess. Something that makes her unstoppable. If we can find out what it is we can warn them."

"HA! HA I say!" Said Sir William, "it would take weeks to reach Canterlot from here. Whatever the danger it is up to me to stop it...err stoppeth it."

Their was a moment of silence as Aurora and Hoover stared at sir William standing their with his chest proudly puffed out.

"Why do I get the feeling he doesn't get a lot of fresh air," said Hoover Hoovington eventually. "But their is something we can do to find out." And with that he left the counter, walked over to a section of the store that sold magical items. After a bit of rummaging through an old chest he smiled in triumph as he produced a small grey globe. "Ah. I knew I still had it around here somewhere."

"It's a pretty glass ball," said Aurora, "but what does it do?"

"Before I tell you what it is. I want to state for the record that I did NOT find it next to a small pile of ash from a young wizard who wanted to test out her new fireproof robe by making fun of a dragon. I was NOT following her because I needed a good laugh. It was given to me by a little old mare who only used it on a Sunday. But anyway this is a bona-fide one hundred percent crystal ball. That can be used to see the future. Or one of the futures anyway. They tried to tell me about how it works, but honestly I got lost with all that math."

"That's all well and good, but how do we use it?" said Aurora.

"You know I'm not sure. But I do have a theory," said Hoover Hoovington. Taking the globe to the counter, he produced a small cloth he began to polish the globe till it shone brightly. "Now then let's see if this works." And slammed it on the counter repeatedly. WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! "HELLO CAN YOU HEAR US?" WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! "SHOW US THE FUTURE OF CONSTELLATION!" WHAM! WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

Whether it was the correct way to activate the crystal ball or it just wanted to live. A magical wave of swirling grey rushed out from the ball enveloping the room. For a moment the three were lost in what was apparent smoke. Confused as to what was happening and what was going on, they stumbled around lost for a short while. The smell of burning filled their nostrils, mixing with the smell of an unseen horror going on around them.

"Foul magic," said Sir William, "where has this globe brought us." Turning around and around in the mist trying to get his bearings.

"I can barely make heads or tails of this place," said Hoover. "If I listen I think I can hear something."

The three of them stood silent, listening. It was faint but unmistakable. The sounds of fighting, screams of pain, clashing of weapons. Somewhere close by a battle was going on.

"I think I'm starting to see something," said Aurora pointing to her left. The other two looked at where she was pointing. At first they couldn't see anything in the fog except more fog. But then, slowly the smoke started to clear. A part of a castle pierced the mist of war. Rising out like a ship in the night. But a heavily beaten ship. Scorch marks and rubble piled up around the wall and on top of it stood a well known flag. Tattered, burnt, ready to fall apart from the smallest of gust. the flag of the two princess stood still in the windless sky.

"This is Canterlot?" questioned Aurora. "But this doesn't make any sense. I don't understand any of it."

"This must be Constellations doing," growled Sir William. "She has conquered Equestria."

"But, but how? What does she possess that can stop Celestia and Luna in their tracks?"

"I'm not sure," said Hoover Hoovington, "but I'm willing to bet that if we follow the bodies I'm sure we will find out."

"What bodies I don't see any...," said Aurora stopping as she final saw what Hoover Hoovington was talking about. A short distance away a figure laid on still on the field. Obviously the fighting had brought her down as the body sported arrows and sword strikes across her body. Approaching it the corpse it started to become clearer as the heavy fog began to drift away. "OH no! No! No! NO!" Cried Aurora picking up speed. Fearing that she knew who was dead on the field of battle.

Twilight Sparkle lay dead from her wounds, staring out at things only the dead can see. It was apparent she died fighting, considering the state she was in. But regardless it was all for a lost cause. The three of them stood their silently for a moment. Contemplating what this meant.

Aurora put her hoof up to her face fighting her tears and her nausea. She never liked Twilight Sparkle, becoming the symbol to everything she hated in Equestria. The symbol that eventually drove her to Sunshine Hospital. But she didn't want her dead either, especially like this. "Oh my Celestia! Oh my Celestia! Oh my Celestia! Oh my Celestia!" She chanted over and over again. Too stunned to move. Too much in shock to think."

Sir William was the one who brought her out of it. Gently holding her up away from the corpse. "Aurora stay with me," he said with surprising compassion, "I need you here with us. We need to figure out what she is doing so we can stop this. Can you go on?"

It took a few moments for Aurora to finally settle down. Taking a few deep breaths to relax her. nodding she gathering herself up, reached over and closed Twilight Sparkles eyes. "I'm ready," she said finally letting herself become numb to everything.

Twilight wasn't the only one she spotted. Along the path they found other ponies that died in the war. Some too disfigured to know who they were. But their was quite a few she did know or knew. Almost losing it again when she saw Rainbow Dash's body lying broken on the ground. "How could she...how could anyone possess this kind of power?" Asked Aurora finally.

"From the way it looks they didn't even have a fighting chance," said Hoover Hoovington.

"This wasn't a battle, this was a tragedy," said Sir William

"But how can she do this?" said Aurora

"Over their is our answer," said Sir William. Pointing further away.

Two armies were massed further away from them. One was a huge army in black armor marching slowly and deliberately onwards towards a smaller army in white and gold growing smaller by the minute. In the middle of the smaller army, even from this distance it could be plainly seen. Celestia and Luna were their. Fighting with everything they had.

Aurora wasn't familiar with the tactics of battle but she knew a last stand when she saw it.

Their in the back of the invaders stood Constellation. Charging her army forward, laughing with each pony killed on the field.

"But what is so special about them? What makes them better than Celestia?"

"Besides the fact their not as fresh as the other army," said Hoover Hoovington, "or their surrounded by a green aura. Other than that I haven't a clue."

"I don't follow you," said Sir William.

"I forget you ponies don't have as good of as us. Really look at them. I mean really, REALLY look at them."

Squinting Aurora Rosewater and Sir William tried to pay more attention to them. It wasn't easy trying to get a good look through the thick fog. But in snatches and glimpses they were able to piece together what he was talking about. The lack of skin, the old worn armor, the missing limbs and rotting bodies.

Constellation's troops didn't so much as fight but more fall upon their enemies, ripping them apart one by one. Taking any damage to them in stride as they went from one pony to the next."Their dead!" shouted Aurora, "She's commanding an army of the dead. How is she doing this?"

Which apparently was the wrong thing to say as it brought unwanted attention from Constellation and her soldiers. "Uh-oh," said Hoover Hoovington as a small force began to disengage from the others and shamble towards them, "I think running would be a good thing right now."

Hoover and Aurora sprang upwards preparing to dash away from the undead ponies, unfortunately they were stopped by Sir William who had rose to face them head on in battle. The three of them collided with each other, tumbling downwards...

The greyness receded back into the crystal ball and Equestria resumed its normalcy.

And back into the shop they were, forming a pile on the floor. "I'm certainly glad Owlings don't wear trousers," said Hoover, "because I would be needing a fresh pair right now.

"What was it we just saw?" asked Aurora, "I mean is that really going to happen? That's horrible! We must tell Celestia at once!"

"With what?" Said Sir William, "their is no way we can get her the message in time. It just us, and that will have to do."

"You two?" said Hoover Hoovington face in a weird expression as if he was trying to hold something back. "Against that? Hold on just...just one moment. I'll be right back." Hurriedly he rushed behind the curtain again. The sun shined brightly through his windows silhouetting his body onto the curtain separating the rooms. Clearly Sir William and Aurora Rosewater watched Hoover Hoovington clutch his stomach, bend over and start to laugh.

A loud peculiar sound the owlings made as he guffawed loudly in the other room. As the ponies could clearly hear and see what he was doing. After a moment, Hoover Hoovington started to call to someone else further off. They listened to another sound of running feet approaching Hoover. and another owling was clearly seen on the curtain.

The both of them chattered away in their language for a moment when the curtain was pulled away slightly. Aurora watched two heads peek out at the both of them for a short moment before they disappeared back to the other room, and more shrieks laughter was heard. This went on for a short while until finally Hoover Hoovington reappeared. Approaching the counter as he wiped the tears from his eyes. "Sorry about that," he said, "I just remember something important I had to do."

"I bet you did," grumbled Aurora.

"I'll tell you what. You don't have to buy anything from me. As a matter of fact, I'll even loan this crystal ball that can be used to track her down."

"How do we useth it?" Asked Sir William.

"Stop that!" said Hoover Hoovington, "first, no more talking like that around me. Second, if you succeed we get to use your likeness in the promotion of our store, and ditto if you fail."

"You mean if we both die you still want to have us endorse you? How?" Said Aurora

"Publicity is still publicity. As in don't be like these two when fighting off a dark and twisted evil. Use Hoover Hoovington's House of Heroes Supplies. I can already see the promotions for it. And I promise if we find your bodies we'll bury you in the front of the store. More of an example of what not to do when adventuring."

"I can see no fault with your reasoning," said Sir William, "agreed." as they shook. Picking up the crystal ball Sir William looked it over, running it along his hooves. "How does one work such an object as this?"

"I do know how that works with it. Just ask it where you want to go and it will point you in the direction. And if it doesn't just give it a good smack."

****

The wind was starting to pick up as the left the store. Carrying a chill in it that went right through Aurora. Was it a foreshadowing? Was it telling her this is way over her pretty head? She didn't know. But she did know it was time to put her hoof down.

"Well he was a strange one," said Sir William. "One ant short of a picnic. But it taketh all kinds to move the world as they say...eth." Wisely ignoring the glare coming from Aurora "Anyway let's see if this thing works."

Holding the crystal ball next to his head, he whispered. "Take me to Constellation."

The crystal ball vibrated slightly while changing to a bluish color. They watched a blue dot slowly fly out, hovering right in front of them. "Well then I guess we follow that thing," said Sir William, "FORWARD!" he cried drawing his sword as he marched on.

"No," said Aurora stopping the glorious campaign in a few feet.

"What?"

"I said no," Aurora said again unable to look at him in the eyes. This was much harder for her than she thought. "You saw the future, you saw what she can do. She has magic, she's an Alicorn, she has this terrifying army with her. And what are we? A crazy pony who thinks he's a knight. And a unicorn who can use a bit of magic." Turning away from him, looking at the forest looming in the distance. "This isn't like the enchanted chicken of Nestle, or the sorceress of whateverville, or the monster goat from noplace. This is real magic, real evil...I don't...I don't want to lose you," she said almost whispering the last part.

Sir William stood their silently for a moment, watching the blue dot. "Maybe you will get to Celestia in time," he said finally. "Somepony needs to warn her." And with that he strode on.

"You're just going to get yourself killed," she shouted at him watching as he walked away, "Crazy pony."

"Never Surrender! Never retreat!" Sir William said to himself following the floating dot.

It was when the shop disappeared by the trees that he heard the sound of hooves pounding the ground. A slightly panting Aurora Rosewater appeared in front of him.

"Well I can't have you facing your death along," she said catching her breath. "I still say you're insane. And maybe I am too for following you. But come Tartarus or high water we're a team you and I."

Putting his hoof on her shoulder. The two of them stood their for a moment before letting go. Words weren't said because words weren't necessary. It was the emotions and memories that was most important between the both of them

The two of them marched forward.

Constellation's really pleasant castle of Torture and Death

Constellation's really pleasant castle of Torture and Death

Morgana's way to anywhere is usually picking a direction that looks like the best way and following it to where it took her. Surprisingly this works out better than you would think. As if Equestria would rearrange the land around her to accommodate her travels. "You need to go where? Okay. Mountains? What mountains? I don't see any...Oh those mountains. I'll be damned. How did they get their I wonder? Lemme just move those for you."

Following a path taking her through some very old caverns, she saw hints that proved she was on the right road. It was the little clues like the piles of pony skeletons, the broken rusted weapons that hasn't been used for over a millennium. The wooden sign that was so old it was pretty much stone now. With the words "This way to Castle Constellation" on it, was the biggest giveaway.

Her sword extended, illuminating the underground, making even brighter by reflecting off her golden armor, turning her into a bright little ball of moving light, cutting its way through the darkness.

Morgana tingled with excitement. This was her time, her moment to show Equestria, more important Celestia who she is and what she could do. Ever since she was young she envisioned a special order of knights under Canterlot's banner. A group to rival the Wonderbolts, with her as its leader. All she needed was something big to get everyponies attention. Unfortunately world threatening villains are few and far between, and those that do pop-up are usually stopped by this Twilight Sparkle and her friends. (Thanks girls.)

Not this time, she was going to personally bring Constellation's head back to the princesses, the rest of her is optional. She was going to get the recognition that was owed to her, she was going to save Equestria, she was going to have Celestia officially see her, She was going to have her name know throughout the land. Surpassing Princess Twilight and her friends. But first she needs to stop daydreaming and pay attention the where she is going or else she might walk into... SLAM! Went the door in front of her stopping her from continuing. ...A trap.

The sound of another door being slid down made her look behind. Turning her head she saw a roughly carved rock-like hand pulling a slab over the way she just came in. Carved from the stone round it that made them almost perfectly blend into the background, the two stone golems detached themselves from the wall. "Haven't seen a pony here in ages," said one of the golems smiling wickedly.

"Maybe she got lost?" Questioned the second one sneering, "I wonder if they are still just as breakable."

"We will certainly find out," said the first golem as the door rumbled to a stop. Leaving the three of them in total darkness.

For a moment there was silence except for the quiet drip of water slowly dropping off stalactites no other noise was heard.

It is a beautiful day in Equestria. Somewhere in the world above them, Celestia is shining the sun over the land, somewhere ponies are singing songs about friendship, or flowers, or cupcakes, or whatever the hell ponies sing about on days like these. Somewhere a pony is learning valuable life lessons that would expand her views infinitely.

Here a loud thumping sound of something large and heavy being slammed against a wall repeatedly followed by a high-pitched feminine squeal , followed by more loud banging, more screams of pain. Accompanying the scraping sound of a door trying to be hastily open, as if someone was frantically trying to escape. Suddenly stopping with more noise of an object being dragged back. With more banging noises, sounding like a head being slapped against a wall, with yet another screaming and even the slight hint of crying. Then silence again.

Somewhere overhead a pony and her friends are visiting her brother and wife to see her newborn niece.

Ever so slowly the door was finally opened, filling the room with much needed light. Calmly walking out Morgana wiped the bits of stone off of her sword before sheathing it, wondering if she might have gotten a little carried away in their. Checking her appearance to make sure everything was in place. Morgana galloped onwards towards her goal.

****

"Rise," said Constellation standing over the glowing pit.

Churning waves of black and green almost a fog hung over the pit, Making it impossible to see what lies beyond. Constellation felt like a god Standing next to the realm of the dead. A kind of god that you paint pictures on ceilings, and leave plates of fruits on some hidden temple in the forest. Not the other kind that leaves a trail of slime wherever it goes, and no one knows how to spell correctly without looking it up in a dictionary, not that kind.

Dark waves of magical energy poured out of the hole caressing Constellation and Cosco, illuminating the both of them briefly in a greenish light before passing away from them in their travels. She was enjoying this, this feeling of power, of being beyond the skills of others. Equestria was going to be hers, she could just taste it.

"Come to me," she said watching the pit with glee. "My armies are needed once more."

"We follow again," said a voice like the opening of a coffin. The sounds of many hooves slowly marching in unison could be heard from beyond the pit growing louder both in closeness and bodies. Damned. An army of the damned was assembling, ready to conquer the world of the living.

"Yes my loyal undead. Follow me too...Eww! Eww!" said Constellation jumping backwards in disgust. As a limb broke through the blackness.

"What?" asked Cosco, "its just the dead."

"But do they have to be so dead-like? Eww! Eww! Gross! Gross! Gross!"

"That's not very nice," said the voice from the pit.

"Yes," said Cosco, "names hurt Con you should know that."

"What if we said you had a big butt. Would you like that?"

"My butt isn't big," snorted Constellation. "I'll have you know I have a very shapely plot."

"Their are planets that are smaller than your butt," said the voice. "Fat ass."

"Hey!" Screamed Constellation as she prepared a magic beam.

"Both of you stop it," shouted Cosco losing patience. "If this keeps up I will cancel the invasion and send you both home. I swear I'll do it."

Even the hole managed some semblance of embarrassment with Constellation standing next to it.

"She started it," said the voice.

"I don't care who started it, it ends now. Do I make myself clear."

Mumble, mumble, mumble.

"I didn't hear that."

"Yes we'll behave," both of them said at once.

"Now I want you both to shake on it."

A partially decayed hoof emerged from the blackness surrounded in a green aura. It wavered in the air moving slightly, waiting for a response. With a great show of disgust Constellation brought her own hoof out briefly shaking it as they touched. "Ewwwww!" she moaned softly while turning her head being unable to look. "Gross! Gross! Gross! Gross!"

"Their now, was that so hard?" asked Cosco.

"Now that we got that out of the way," said Constellation, "can you pretty please release the seal surrounding my palace?"

"Okie-dokie," said the voice. As a flash of green lightning erupted from the pit, traveling upwards higher and higher, it blasted its way through the ceiling, still traveling up, finally hitting the swirling barrier that imprisoned Constellation.

Traveling outwards from where lightning struck the magical wall began to disappear,spreading outwards as it went. For the first time in over a thousand years sunlight began to pierce her land. Constellation found she missed the sun, seeing it and feeling on her made her almost want to jump around with joy. "This feels amazing," she said. "Cosco join me."

"I will Con but first I need to do a few things," said Cosco. "I'll be back in a short time." And with that he got up and walked away.

"Fat ass," mumbled a voice to softly to hear.

****

"Are we their yet?"

"Five more minutes."

"You said that five minutes ago."

"Five more minutes from when you asked."

"I'm tired."

"Keep going."

"I'm thirsty."

"We'll be their shortly."

"I have to go to the bathroom."

"You can hold it."

Aurora Rosewater and Sir William continued walking through the forest following the blue dot not talking to each other for a moment.

"Are we their yet?"

"Five more minutes."

"You said that five minutes ago."

"Five more minutes from when you asked."

Their stimulating conversation was interrupted when a black vortex began to appear a short distance in front of them. The both of them watched the swirling dark energy dissipate, leaving a black castle suddenly appearing over the forest of trees surrounding them. With the blue dot from the crystal ball pointing directly to it

"Five more minutes," said Sir William pushing his way through the brush while using his sword to cut away at the growth. It would have been helpful if he has sharpened his sword at times, once would have been really good. But he was able to clear away a somewhat of a path for the two of them. Branches falling off more out of a desire not to depress Sir William than any labor on his part.

Aurora yipped as another tree limb swatted her on her plot. She didn't trust the trees here, they had an entirely too innocent look on them

Making their way onwards Aurora noticed Sir William getting more and more excited. He was enjoying himself, making it even scarier for her. She wondered would their be enough of the both of them for Hoover Hoovington to bury once this Constellation is finished with them. Probably something small like a lunch box that together they will be placed in.

Kicking herself for following him into certain death. The images of the undead knights tearing apart Celestia and her army still flashed through her mind. A part of her mind was already calculating how far she could get away before everything was destroyed. But...there's always a but in these things. She couldn't ignore everything she saw, couldn't turn her back on her friend, no matter how insane he is.

The black castle loomed closer as Sir William fought the forest, hacking it into submission as he traveled. He could start to see the outlines of her territory through the breaks in the woods. Laughing at the thought of all the evil he would destroy he pushed himself onwards. Almost running as he broke through the last of the trees.

"FOR GLO...Wait this isn't right," said Sir William seeing how wonderful the place was.

The place was beautiful in a if you love-the-color-black kind of way. Black exotic sculptures of ponies tastefully placed along a checker boarded lawn of different shades of black. Off to one side was a small black lake with an island tactfully shaded black in the middle. The whole place gave off a relaxing evil atmosphere. Like a bed and breakfast that would kill you in a horrifying yet polite way.

"I was expecting something more...," said Aurora.

"What? Evil? Sinister?" said a voice coming from a stone chair with its back towards them. "Something from the dark pit of a ponies heart? Why can't we have nice stuff as well."

"Are you Constellation?"

"No I am just her servant, you can call me...uff...call me...call me...grrr...excuse me but this chair doesn't swivel. Could you do me a favor and put your hooves over your eyes for just one moment, I would really appreciate it."

Shrugging their shoulders Aurora and Sir William did what was asked of them. They could hear grunting of someone wrestling with something really heavy that was being moved. This when on for a moment until the voice talked again, "Okay you can open them now."

In the chair sat a stone cat smiling at them with an evil glint in its eye. On its lap sat a rubber mouse squeak toy which he slowly stroked. "You can call me Cosco and I will be your death for today," said the stone cat.

"You expect us to fight?" said Sir William.

"No I expect you to die," said Cosco saying the words again silently under his breath, "You know I like that phrase. I expect you to die, that's a good one I'll have to remember that."

"Ha!" said Aurora, "Rock or not you will have to do better than that."

"Oh I intend to," Cosco said jumping down.

Swirls of powerful magical waves enveloped him, caressing his stone body. Growing larger the stone feline became more menacing, more dangerous. His face elongated as its razor-sharp diamond like teeth protruded from its lips. Claws extending from his now huge paws raked the chair. Leaving deep gashes and still they grew longer. "Will this do?" said Cosco now a lethal instrument of death as he jumped onto the ground.

"I'll handle this," said Sir William drawing his sword, "Demon or not I will still stop you."

WHAM! Went Sir William's sword flying out of his hoof from a flick of Cosco's paw. The sword flipped through the air making a poor swooshing noise His blade wasn't sharp enough to cut the air around it more like move it politely to one side as it traveled, finally sticking into the ground a short ways off.

"What are your plans now little pony?" said the stone cat turning its attention back towards the knight. Which had just enough time to get a nice view of Sir William's hoof punching his face.

"Outh! Thath wathn't thery nith," growled Cosco nose already swelling from the blow, "I'll makth youth patyh thor that."

Crouching downward hind legs extending he prepared to pounce Sir William when a bright flash of magical light hit him in the face. Momentarily confused while fighting the spots in his eyes and the pain. His vision had cleared enough to see Aurora hit him again with another blast of magic from her horn. Then another as he started to shrink back.

"I tham gething theally thired ofth this," said Cosco letting his rage get the better of him. "Die thupid ponth!!" he roared while leaping in the air. Extending his stone claws he was prepared to slice that dumb unicorn in half.

Or would have if not Sir William got to her first and shielded her with his body.

His claw racked downward across his rusty armor, leaving a deep gash running down its back. Too big for Sir William the claw passed inched from his skin, making a horrible noise that made Cosco's body stand straight up.

Aurora wiggled her head from under Sir William's body. With a clear shot she fired another blast of magic from her horn.

"Thath itths!" raged Cosco, "I am gointh tho thear the both ofth you aparth." And with a backhanded swipe of it's claw, Sir Williams flew a short distance in air while tumbling head over heels. Hitting the ground with a loud clang, causing a gentle rain of rust to float down all around him. "Than nowth thits yourth thurn." Cosco said to Aurora who cowered on the ground.

She saw the giant, feral, stone cat flex his paws extending his razor sharp and very lethal looking claws even further. She imagined her death a thousand times as she traveled with Sir William and his insanity. Granted being disemboweled by a giant demonic cat made of rock wasn't on her list but she wasn't surprised with all that has happened since she join Sir William and his craziness. But more than that as her eyes fixated on the claws that will shortly end her, she found herself unable to stop laughing.

First it came out in a short giggle, then to an infectious laughter. Clutching her sides she squeezed her eyes shut as tears started rolling down her cheeks. Each giggle brought out more laughter as she clutched her ribs, chest already sore from her uncontrollable glee. This was crazy and she knew it but she couldn't stop. She really hoped that her final moments on Equestria would be more than insane laughter as she was destroyed.

"Thop That!" yelled Cosco with his nose already swollen considerably, with a mixture of anger and confusion over this pony who was surely going to die. "Whath isth wrong with youth poniths?"

Which only made Aurora laugh harder, "If I survive this I'll probably need lots of therapy," she thought to herself. Aurora remembered reading about his high stressful situations has produced a phenomenon where some ponies have had fits of laughter as a way of coping with it. She wondered if certain death constitutes as one.

Cosco was too busy with the strange pony having the laughing fit to notice Sir William sneak behind him. Sword too far away he was forced to take the fight in another direction. Picking up the giant cats tail he gripped it tightly with his hooves, put the tail into his mouth and bit down hard. He was surprised how the rock bended easily in-between his teeth.

Aurora watched the demon cat jump into the air screaming in pain, with her friend holding on for dear life. The sight of the insanity would have made her laugh even more, too bad she was tapped out in the funny department. But she have enough sense that her friend needed help. Unfortunately her laughter was making everything harder to focus. Trying to concentrate was like trying to tap dance on a bear trap. Granted she knew that didn't make sense but it was the best she could think of at the moment.

Letting her magic reach out from her horn, she grabbed the first thing she could get, which happened to be the stone chair. Lifting it up was hard work, moving it was harder, her laughter was subsiding with her strain. She could see Cosco still fighting with Sir William, trying to get him to off. Nimbly he avoided the attacks, but he couldn't last forever, sooner or later his claws would get him.

As the two fought she brought the chair around and using every ounce of energy she slammed it into the giant cats head, making him drop like a light. Cautiously the two of them got up, readying themselves in case another attack was immanent. "I hope that will put him out for awhile," said Aurora.

"I wanted to stop him," cried Sir William.

"I'll tell you what. You can stop the next monster we fight, is that okay?"

"I guess so."

"So umm where do we go next exactly?" asked Aurora looking around.

As if some cosmic cue was answering the call. A flash of green lightning poured out from a nearby tower. Rising upwards as if to assault the very sky, it showered the air above them with dark evil energy. Because, you know evil, it's what they do.

Grabbing his fallen sword truth, the pair approached the tower.