Chapters Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
One - Meet The Princess...es
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Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
By Bigwig6666
"Tia... are you sure about this?" Luna asked her sister as the large, white alicorn peered over her shoulder.
"Of course, Lu, everypony does it. Even Twilight Sparkle has told me about it. All you do is put some information on the website, then send it off and poof. You have a coltfriend... or fillyfriend," Princess Celestia giggled.
Princess Luna turned scarlet. "Celestia! I'll have you know that whatever I do in my spare time is none of your business. Now kindly leave," she told her sister.
Celestia shrugged and carried on grinning. "Alright. Goodnight little sister. Have fun."
Luna turned back to the computer and stared at the screen. She tapped her chin and wondered what to write. "Hmmm." she murmured and began typing.
"My name is... Luna..." she read aloud as she wrote it. Perhaps saying I'm a princess will put them off. she smiled sheepishly. "I like... playing... video games... and... drinking..." she paused. Perhaps 'beer' was too blunt. "Wine." she said satisfied with her statement.
She deleted everything and started again.
"My name... is... NightPrincess6666" she read aloud, using her gamer tag as she did for pretty much everything these days. "I am female... I like... walks on the beach... video games... the occasional drink... and..." she stopped. "What else?" she murmured. "Fun." she smiled and hit the enter key.
She suddenly felt as if 'fun' was a terrible idea. She knew of the perverts on the internet. She shuddered as she remembered some god-awful fanfic about her and some human guy. The Princess And I it was called.
"Highly unethical. I had only just met the human after all," she murmured with a coy smile and turned away from the computer, picking up her milkshake and slurping the last of it.
It wasn't long before she got a notification on the website.
"Aha!" Luna cried happily and spun around in her chair before reading the notice. "Hey babes L-O-L. Want to meet up sometime and bang?"
She cringed in disgust. "Delete," she muttered and clicked the delete comment button.
She turned back to her T.V and picked up the controller. One of these new video game doohickeys called a Squii. She picked up the controller and began playing some Super Smash Bronies Brawl. "Good times," she chuckled in a Stalliongrad accent.
***
After a few minutes of playing, she heard the bleep of another notification.
She read the name and immediately deleted the comment.
"CuntDestr0yer," she whispered and shuddered at the implications.
She moved away from the computer and picked up the Squii controller again. She was owning this noob playing against her. "Hey, PS! She shouted at the screen. "Why don't you just ''PS'' off?" she laughed. She wasn't very good at this whole name calling thing, but when she did she always made herself roar with laughter.
She heard another bleep from the computer and turned to it. "If this was another pervert, I swear I'm going to..." she trailed off as she read the message.
"Hi, I'm Luna, what's your name? I think it would be great if we could meet up sometime. It sounds like we like the same things xxx."
She smiled at the polite response. Then frowned. "Luna? I thought only I was called Luna," she murmured and shrugged. "I suppose if we like the same things. Oh but what if Tia sees me meeting another mare? Oh I hope this is a mare. If it wasn't this would be rather creepy." She scanned the comment again, then sighed and clicked the accept button and sent a message back.
"Hello, Luna. My name is also Luna. Pleased to meet you. How about we meet at The Prancing Pony in Canterlot? I'll pay." she typed back and eagerly waited the response.
Her cheeriness was immediately demolished by the next notification.
"ASL?"
She shuddered again and deleted that comment. Then set her status to 'busy' so she didn't get any more notifications from these weirdos and turned back to her game.
"C'mon PS, put your back into it!" she shouted and drank some more of her milkshake.
***
Meanwhile, at the League of Evil. AKA Earth.
A girl called Luna was having a bad day.
The other girls, and a few boys, had teased her for being inclined to the same sex. A lesbian. Plus her bigger sister, Celeste, had been urging her to join a dating site as soon as she'd gotten home and flopped onto the sofa.
"C'mon Luna, you're a lovely young girl, it's time you should go out and meet some friends instead of hanging around, watching My Little Pony all day," Celeste urged.
Luna shook her head. "I tried that once. It didn't end well. Besides since when is a dating site a place to make friends?"
"Aw c'mon Lu. Quit being such a baby," the elder sister giggled and nudged the younger sister in the ribs.
"Don't you dare start tickling me," Luna warned.
Celeste raised her hands in protest. "I wasn't going to. Now that you mention it..." she said coyly.
Luna jumped away from her. "Get away from me!" she shouted.
Celeste chuckled. "Oh, you're such a scaredy pants. Fine, I'm going out with Twiglet. See you soon."
''Twiglet'' was Celeste's pet name for her best friend, who resembled Twilight Sparkle, strangely enough.
Luna waved goodbye and dragged herself upstairs, throwing her bag into a corner and slumping down into her chair.
Her face lit up when she saw the computer, her one true friend in this lonely world. She logged on and started browsing YouTube. When she saw the thing that made her day complete. "Ooooh yeah. It's Saturday isn't it?" she giggled and clicked on the video.
In case you didn't know. Saturday was Ponyday. Everyday, there had been a new episode waiting for her after she came home from college.
Except this one was sad. Sort of. The final episode. The final for season two anyways. She grabbed her replica Princess Luna (who was best pony) tiara and necklace and put them on (don't ask). She liked to pretend she was the princess, namely for her dark blue hair which seemed to sparkle of it's own accord.
She glanced up at the clock. "8.30," she murmured. "I suppose I could give Celeste's website a chance," she said and typed in the web address.
"God I feel like an idiot doing this," she muttered and began searching the singles list. Most of them were the usual things you'd expect to find on websites like this: "Rich, looking for a no questions asked wedding. PM me." And "Single. Horny. PM me. only F." One in particular caught her eye.
"And the user is NightPrincess6666? I wonder if she (I hope it's a she) likes My Little Pony. Hmm." She read the message again. It seemed nice enough. "But what if it was one of these weird creepers who sit around and wait for girls to reply to them? Then find them and murder them?" Luna worried.
Celeste would have called her a chicken and teased her.
"I ain't no Scootaloo," Luna said defiantly to no-one, for no-one except her was in the house. She punched in the keys and replied to the user called NightPrincess6666. "I hope she (or he, again still creepy) is nice."
About thirty seconds later, she heard the tell-tale bleep of a notification.
"She's called Luna too?"
Luna felt her heart soar. She typed back eagerly. "What do you mean ''Canterlot''?" She worried that this wasn't just another weirdo toying with her. "Or worse, some guy in an asylum who'd somehow gotten a computer and believed he was in Equestria."
She got a message back almost instantly. "I mean the city where I live, silly. Where do you live?"
She replied back. "I live in Newcastle, in England. What do you mean do you live in Canterlot?"
She read the message back. "Canterlot as in the capital of Equestria. Where is this New Castle? I've never heard of it.
Luna sat, confused at this. "Does this person really believe they live in Equestria?" she asked her stuffed plushie, Mr Bubbles. Yes she had a stuffed plushie of the Big Daddy from Bioshock. Don't ask. She typed back, "Are you a pony?"
"Yes of course. What are you?" she read out.
"Oh god, this is a crazy person," Luna thought sadly. Sad that she'd lost someone she thought could be a friend, and sad that this poor person believed they lived in Equestria. She sighed and typed back. "I'm human."
"Oh really? One second," the message read.
Luna sat, puzzled at this. "One second? What, was this person just gonna open a portal and suck me into EquetsriAHHHHHH!" she cried as a large vortex opened behind her and dragged her into it, still with her tiara and necklace on.
She crashed to the ground and rubbed her forehead.
"Oh wow. You are human," a voice said from above her. A very familiar voice. A very... regal sounding voice.
Luna raised her eyes and saw...
"Princess Luna?!" she cried and sprung up. "Am I dreaming? Pinch me," she declared and began nipping herself, turning bits of skin bright red.
The pony Luna recoiled slightly. "Calm down, you'll make somepony nervous. Like me," she said, while backed up.
Human Luna turned to her and smiled. "It's really you! You're really real!"
Pony Luna conducted herself with the grace a princess should demand. "Hmm. Yes. Quite real. As are you..." she murmured as her eyes drifted towards Human Luna's tiara and necklace. And starry mane. "How did you obtain those items? Or get your mane like that?" she demanded and stepped forwards.
Human Luna, let's call her Lulu to avoid confusion, touched the tiara on her head and whimpered. "Oh, sorry y-your majesty. I forgot I was wearing them." She took off the crown, suddenly feeling it's weight and removed the necklace, also feeling it's weight. As she placed them on the table she noticed how soft her hair was now.
"Wow," she breathed and felt her hair for a few minutes.
"Ahem," Luna coughed.
"Oh, sorry," Lulu chuckled nervously. "I just noticed how soft my hair is here," she murmured.
Luna tilted her head questioningly. "What do you mean?" she asked and stroked her own mane.
"Well, on Earth, it was soft, but here it feels like a piece of the night sky. And incredibly silky," Lulu sighed and rubbed her face on her long, flowing hair. "And it flows too apparently."
Luna laughed. "Yes, my mane does that too. So..." she trailed off and pawed at the ground nervously. "What's your name?"
The human equivalent to the princess started. "Um... Luna. But everyone calls me Lulu," she said and smiled sheepishly.
Luna's eyes lit up. "So you're the Luna from the website?"
Lulu nodded her head. "Yes. And you must be NightPrincess6666," she giggled. "Great name."
The Moon Princess blushed. "Thank you. It's the first time I've ever used a dating website. Strange place to make new friends." She smiled.
"So we are friends?" Lulu held a hand out. "Pleasure to meet you, your majesty," she giggled and curtseyed.
Luna giggled back and extended her own hoof. "The pleasure is all mine. I've never met a human before. What's it like on Earth?"
"You know of Earth?"
"Well, not personally, but I know of it," Luna explained.
"Well, do you know it sucks? And the people are mean and tease you for anything," Lulu grunted.
"Like a bigger sister," Luna said bitterly.
"Yeah." They glanced at each other and broke into big smiles.
They stayed up for a bit, long into the night and talked. It turns out that the two Lunas, or Tuna if you will, were almost like twins from different universes.
But that would just be silly, now wouldn't it?
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Two - So What Else Do You Like?
The two inter-dimensional buddy buds sat down on their cushions and looked at one another.
"You ready?" asked Luna.
"You bet," grinned Lulu.
"Let the game begin!" Luna cried as the game started. The girls had managed to get two T.Vs in the room, one for the human, one for the pony, and put them up together, back to back.
Lulu was on one side of the map, and Luna was on the other. The human gritted her teeth and knuckled down, propping a pillow beside her and leaning on it.
Luna the pony, however, grinned and raised an eyebrow at her human counterpart. She'd won this game countless times, and had no doubts about how this would end-
"You lost the lead," the voice on the game said.
Luna's jaw dropped as she glanced up and saw her friend grinning.
"Oh. It. Is. On," Luna giggled.
"Headshot. Tied the lead," the announcer said.
Lulu grunted with annoyance. "Lucky shot."
Luna laughed. "Sure. And I suppose you let me hit you?"
"Oh shut it," Lulu grinned.
The game continued for some time. Pony versus human. Princess versus princess. The battle of the century. And it took place on Reach.
Eventually they decided it was a draw and moved on to another game mode. "How about ''Zombie''?" Luna asked. That was her favourite game type on Haylo.
"Sure. If it's the game mode I'm used to then yeah," Lulu chuckled and took a drink from her glass.
Luna enjoyed having a friend round to play some video games. Suddenly, as if a light came on in an easy-bake oven, she had an idea. "Lulu, what else do you enjoy besides video games?" she asked.
Lulu scratched her head. "Not much I'm afraid. Watching television, listening to music-"
"Oh, music? What kind of music?" Luna asked excitedly. "My original plan will have to wait... for now," she thought.
"Heh," Lulu chuckled nervously. "Heavy metal mostly."
Luna's eyes lit up as she grabbed her friend's arm in her hoof. "So do I! Do you play anything?"
Lulu nodded with wide eyes. "Mhm. Guitar. Why?" How is she even doing that?!
The princess's mouth opened in a wide, Cheshire cat look-a-like smile. "Follow me," she said and released Lulu, dropping her controller for now.
Lulu rubbed her arm where Luna had grabbed her. "Wow, ponies are strong aren't they?" she thought as she followed the princess.
The princess led them through the dark palace with silent hoofsteps. Lulu on the other hand, stumbled around in the dark as she held onto Luna's tail and bumped into everything she walked past.
Luna giggled at hearing her friend stagger around in the dark. "Would you like some light?" she asked.
"Please," Lulu grunted and stumbled into a statue of the two princesses.
Luna's horn lit the darkness up with a strangely bright blue glow. "That's better." She smiled at Lulu, who smoothed her hair down. Or tried to anyway.
The human smiled and released Luna's tail. "Sorry, if that was undignified for a princess."
The pony waved a hoof. "It's quite alright. C'mon, we're almost there."
"Where are we going anyway?" Lulu asked and followed Luna.
The Night Princess shushed her and stopped in front of a large door. "This is it."
"This is what?"
"You'll see."
Lulu worried about what the princess was going to show her. Oh please let it not be some weird fetish thing she has, she silently prayed to any god that was listening.
Luna pressed her weight against the large door and pushed it open. A warm orange glow poured fourth. She took Lulu's hand in her hoof. "C'mon."
Lulu allowed herself to be pulled into this glow, a mixture of fear and curiosity taking hold of her.
She blinked as her eyes adjusted to the change in light and gasped.
"It's... a rec room," she murmured.
"Of course it is. What did you think it was? A sex dungeon or something?" Luna laughed.
Lulu blushed. "So why are we here?" she asked casually and visibly more relaxed now.
"Because, Lulu, I want to show you something," Luna giggled coyly, and beckoned her human friend to the far wall.
Lulu looked up at the wall after putting down a cute little figure of Master Hoof from Haylo. "Oh wow," she said as she realized what the wall was.
A trophy wall of sorts, lined with any and all types of electric guitars.
"I think I love you," she joked to the princess, who laughed and patted her friend on the back.
"Take one," Luna smiled, feeling her cheeks turn a rosy red at the joke.
Lulu stared at the pony for a while. "Seriously?" she asked. "Are you really just... giving me a present?"
"Of course. Take one," she repeated.
Lulu breathed deeply and hugged her friend, then strode up to the wall and placed her hands on her hips. "Hmmm... which one?" she murmured.
Luna chuckled and walked around the bar, and poured herself a drink.
The human gazed at the wall's collection. So many choices.... and such riches aplenty, she thought, giggling at the song's lyrics and the imitation of Fluttershy's voice in her head.
***
Eventually, Lulu walked back over to her friend carrying a dark red Gibson SG.
"I'd like this one," she said.
Luna chuckled ."About time you chose one, I was afraid I'd have to eat this myself." She nodded her head towards the two pints of beer and a large pizza box.
"Pizza and beer? Guitars? Luna... are you a rockstar?" Lulu asked and took a slice of pizza, putting her new guitar down gently.
Luna laughed. "Sort of. I play the drums mostly, but I used to sing for a band." She sipped her beer with a grin.
"Wow really?" Lulu asked and took a slightly larger sip from her own pint.
"Mhm. They were called Nightwish. Mainly for me, but I wasn't happy. So I left."
The human choked on her pizza. "Nightwish?" she sputtered.
The princess looked at her friend and patted her on the back. "Yes. Have you heard of them?"
Lulu shook her head. "Well, sort of. They're probably different to the band here in Equestria, but they're amongst my favourite bands on Earth."
"Really? Interesting. It seems everything on Earth has a ponyfied version in Equestria," Luna said, then burped from her drink. "Your turn," she grinned.
Lulu looked at the princess's glass and let put a single laugh: half of her's was gone already. "Oh, two can play at this game," she giggled and matched the pony's half emptiness.
***
Celestia was taking a midnight stroll around the palace, as she normally does, when she walked past her sister's rec room and heard laughter and singing. She stopped and pressed her ear against it. "Has she got company?" she murmured, thinking, "Surely she's not met somepony already?"
She pushed the door open and blinked at the orange lighting. Her gaze turned from confusion to utter bewilderment as she saw her baby sister dancing on the table, and none other than a human clapping and laughing madly.
"Oh hi Celestia!" Luna cried and bounced over to the big alicorn and hugged her. "I want *hic* you to meet my friend *hic*. Lulu! C'mover here!" she slurred and laughed as Lulu staggered over to them.
"Hello, Princess Celestia," Lulu giggled. "My name's Luna too. What's your name? Oh wait..."
This made Princess Luna roar with laughter.
Celestia gently moved her aside with her wing and looked at the drunk human. "You're... human?" she asked slowly.
Lulu nodded and giggled as Luna stumbled into her and draped a hoof around her.
"And... my sister is... drunk..." Celestia murmured.
Lulu nodded again as Luna released her and stumbled over to pour another drink.
The white princess continued to stare at Lulu. "And your name is Luna as well?"
"Yes. But everyone -pony shhh- can call me Lulu to avoid confusion." Lulu slurred and blinked her eyes like a fish. First the left one, then the right one slowly.
Celestia nodded slightly. "And how are you here?"
Lulu's lip trembled and her knees buckled. "Oh bugger," she slurred before she passed out.
Celestia, thankfully, caught her and gently lay her down. She turned to Luna and opened her mouth to bombard her with questions, then closed her mouth and smiled.
The baby sister was as fast asleep as the human now.
"Perhaps I'll ask them tomorrow," Celestia chuckled. "Goodnight girls," she whispered and closed the door on her way out.
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Three - Why Are There Two Of You?
Luna rubbed her head and groaned. "Ohhh... sat up too fast."
She heard a grumble beside her and saw Lulu with her head in a bucket.
"Morning," Luna grunted.
Lulu waved a hand and gave a retching sound from inside the bucket.
The princess winced and patted her friend on the back and looked at the bar. "Ohhhh," she groaned as she saw the bottles.
She vaguely remembered giving Lulu a guitar, and drinking. A lot. She seemed to recall a voice as well. Who's voice was it again? "Oh ponyfeathers" , she thought, rising to her full height, and stumbled over to the window to let some air in, and the smell of puke out.
"Ugggh," Lulu grumbled as she dragged herself away from the bucket and up onto a bar stool. "What did we do last night?"
Luna shrugged. "I don't remember, but please give me the bucket."
Lulu did so grudgingly and carefully placed the bucket down by their feet, where the pony decided to throw up repeatedly.
"Better?" Lulu asked.
Luna grunted and sat back down on the stool. "At least we didn't get any on your new guitar." She smiled weakly at Lulu.
Lulu's eyes lit up. "Oh yeah, thanks again by the way. I've never gotten a gift like that before."
"Don't mention it," Luna mumbled and forced a bit of sick down, clicking her tongue. "I need a drink of water."
"Me too."
The two girls walked around the bar and searched for a drink that wouldn't kill them right now.
"Agggh! How did I design this place without any water?" Luna cried and threw her hooves in the air as she sank back into her seat.
Lulu threw something over her shoulder. "Aha!" she cried happily.
Luna twisted herself around and peered down at the top of the human's head. "You found some water?" she asked hopefully.
Lulu brought her head up sharply and collided with Luna's. "Ow. Sorry, princess," she said and rubbed the back of her head.
Luna reared in pain and clutched at her nose. "Owwwww," she groaned, her voice sounding all nasally, as if she pinched her nose. The human immediately started apologising and threw her arms around her victim.
"Sorry sorry sorry sorrrrrryyyy," cried the human and massaged her friend's nose after wrestling her hooves away.
"Is it broken?" Luna squeaked.
"Nahhhh. I just hit it a bit hard. Want me to kiss it better?" Lulu giggled.
Luna shrugged her off, again feeling a hot blush spread across her cheeks. "Should we get moving then? I usually sleep when I have to-"
"Lower the moon?" a voice said from across the room.
Luna froze and slowly turned her head to the owner of the voice. "Oh... hello Tia." she smiled weakly and cowered slightly.
Celestia glanced down at the bucket and tutted.
"Tsk, tsk, Luna. I thought you better than this?" she chuckled and smiled.
Poor Luna turned scarlet. "Um... in case you haven't met. This is Lulu. She's-"
"Human. I can see. And yes, we met last night." Celestia laughed and held a hoof out. "Greetings, Lulu of Earth. I am Princess Celestia. I see my sister's already made you feel welcome." she grinned at the human.
Lulu held her hand out and shook the princess's, curtseying slightly and feeling all nervous. "H-h-hello, P-p-princess Celestia," she stuttered as her cheeks turned rosy red.
Celestia bowed. "Hello to you too, Lulu. Now that we've got official introductions out of the way, I have to ask. Why are there two Lunas?" she asked and narrowed her eyes.
Luna brought her head up after burying it in her forelegs on the bar. She glanced at Lulu, who glanced back just as nervously. "Well... um..." she coughed.
"I think... we think that...." Lulu started, and started shuffling nervously under the princess's gaze.
"That there might be a parallel universe running opposite this one," Luna finished and buried her face in her hooves shamefully.
Celestia frowned. "Why are you doing that?" she asked and put a wing around her.
Lulu moved back and decided to give the two sisters a bit of privacy. She wandered around the rec room and fully explored it while the two princesses talked. On one far wall were the words, ''Luna does it with a Jakobs''.
"Because. You're mad that I didn't tell you straight away. I just wanted a friend and someone to play games with, other than those on the internet," Luna murmured under her hooves.
Celestia sighed. "Luna, I'm not mad. Why would I be mad at you? You're my baby sister and I don't care why you do anything, just as long as it's in legal bounds and makes you happy," she said in a motherly tone.
Luna raised her head and opened one eye and looked into Celestia's. She smiled and brought her head up fully. Then groaned as the hangover hit home.
Celestia chuckled and ruffled her sister's mane. "Lulu?" she called.
The human came scurrying out from the back room, off to the left on the bar and the sisters. "Yes, princess?" she said and bowed a bit.
"Would you kindly watch Luna while I go and inform the guards of... you?" the princess asked and smiled sheepishly.
"I'd be honoured to princess," Lulu replied and bit her lip.
"Is there something wrong dear?" Celestia asked, in that same soothing, motherly tone she had spoken to Luna in.
"Well... I've just been thinking. About home," Lulu said quietly and shuffled her feet.
Celestia walked up to her and put a wing around her. "Who are you leaving behind?" she asked.
"My sister. I suppose she's the you of Earth. Except we're not princesses, just ordinary humans," Lulu said sadly.
Celestia chuckled. "I'm sure she's fine. Would you like to go back?" she asked, her voice kind, soothing, and extremely much like a mother's voice.
Lulu started. "Well... no... not yet anyway. I've always wanted to come to Equestria, and it's wonderful. But I would like to know I have -or had- the option of going back." she said quickly, hoping not to offend the princess.
The princess nodded. "A wise decision, I'll have to look into a way of reopening whatever portal Luna opened. Now, I must go and attend my duties, stay and watch her will you, dear? I think she's fallen asleep again," she chuckled and prodded the unconscious Luna.
The Night Princess stirred and grunted in her sleep, snoring loudly.
Lulu giggled and picked up her guitar lovingly.
Celestia shook her head at her little sister and waved goodbye to Lulu, who waved back and began strumming silently on the guitar.
The princess took off in the direction of the barracks, intending to address all the guards and call a security meeting about the human.
***
Luna raised her head again and looked around with bleary eyes. "What time is it?"
"Time you got up missy," Lulu grumbled. "Midday. Why?" she asked and got up.
"Ohhh. It's too early," Luna moaned back and lay her head back down.
"Oh no, I'm not waiting here for your drunk ass to fall asleep again." Lulu chuckled and picked the pony up. She was surprising light for a pony larger than the others. "C'mon, I wanna go explore," she whined jokingly and prodded Luna in the ribs.
It was weird that she felt this comfortable prodding a princess awake. "Odd, but I feel like I belong here," she thought happily.
Eventually, after some persuasion, coercion, bribery and more prodding, Luna finally got up.
"Fine. I'm up," she grumbled.
Lulu giggled nervously. "You're not mad are you?"
Luna smiled and shook her head. "No. You're my first real friend for over thousands of years. I'm not going to lose you just because I'm hungover," she laughed.
Lulu let out a sigh of relief. "To tell the truth, Luna, you're my first real friend too. Well... after Celeste."
"Were you two close?" Luna asked cautiously.
Lulu nodded her head stiffly and sniffed.
They shared a moment in which they hugged like best friends or sisters.
"Now, where do you want to go?" Luna asked.
Lulu wiped her nose and smiled, raising her arms in the air. "Everywhere."
Luna raised an eyebrow. "OK, but if you promise to play me something later." She nodded to the guitar at the bottom of the stool.
Lulu nodded eagerly. "Oh wow, I'm getting a tour of Equestria by Princess Luna. Princess Luna." She let out a small fangirl squeal as she danced happily around the room.
The Moon Princess laughed at her friend's behaviour.
Lulu sidled up to Luna as they walked out the door and were greeted courteously by two stallion guards. The girls nodded politely and began their tour of the world, starting with the palace.
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Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Five - So I Said To Her: 'Well Clearly, Your Toothbrush Is Bigger'
Lulu couldn't be happier at the minute. A best friend, living in Equestria, and a chance to play some music with said best friend. She couldn't help but feel something else for the princess. Something... different. She shook her head and cleared those thoughts, not wishing for any more on the matter as of yet.
Luna on the other hoof, was happiest she'd been in millennia. Even happier than helping the first ponies discover fire, against her sister's wish no less. And yet... and yet there was something else. The princess's eyes wandered to her human friend and slowed down a bit, her eyes tracing the human body with interest. "I wonder..." she thought.
Lulu looked back and saw Luna watching her. "What?"
"Nothing. Nothing at all. Where are you going?" Luna asked as she stopped in front of the rec room.
"Oh, right. Didn't know we've hit it," Lulu said sheepishly and watched as Luna pushed the doors open. She flexed her hand where she had accidentally touched Luna. That worried her a tad. "Not sure why though," she thought with a frown on her face.
Luna pushed the doors open and walked back into the rec room. "Rec, or wreck?" Lulu asked as she stepped over one of the bottles.
The princess groaned. "Ohhhh, Tia's going to kill me if I don't get this cleaned up soon."
"Hang on." Lulu said, confused. "Won't the servants just do it?" She thought for a moment. "Wow that sounds douchey."
Luna nodded. "Yes, but to keep up the image that I'm a good little princess," she growled, "I better do my share and at least pick the bottles up." she said gloomily.
"Well then let me help-" Lulu began and picked up a bottle.
"Absolutely not! You are a guest, both to myself, and to Equestria. And I certiantly won't have you picking up my rubbish," Luna snapped. Then smiled. "I appreciate the offer though."
Lulu was about to say something in protest, when a large rumbling rang throughout the room.
Luna raised an eyebrow and looked at where the noise had come from; Lulu's belly. "Hungry?" she chuckled.
"Heh, I suppose I am quite peckish," Lulu replied and blushed.
Luna pointed to the door, "C'mon, I'll take you to get something to eat."
"No, no, it's alright. I'll go get something myself." Lulu smiled and hurriedly moved in front of the pony.
Luna pouted and stomped her hoof. "No. I shall go."
"That pout's adorable, but it's not going to work on me," Lulu giggled and put her hands on her hips. "I'm going. You stay." she sternly told the pony.
Luna's nostrils flared and her wings rose. Lulu could almost hear the gears turning in her head as she cringed a bit, awaiting whatever the princess was going to do.
"Alright, fine. If you wish," Luna sighed and gave in, while trying to use her tail to scratch her cutie mark
Lulu saw this and watched her flank wiggle. Her eyebrows raised in a silent grin. "Alright, see you in a bit," she said and slipped out the door.
Luna sighed as she watched her friend leave.
"What is this I feel?" she murmured. "Gah. I need a drink. Drinking is best for any situation," she used her magic to grasp one of the (very few now) full liquor bottles and poured herself a glass. "Ugh. What is this?" she said to herself as the taste hit her tongue. She looked at the bottle. "Rose Of Sharon Cassidy? Never heard of it. But it's great," she slurred and poured another glass.
"Wait a minute," she said before drinking the next shot. "She called me adorable... meh. Probably nothing," she murmured and drank again, smacking her lips together.
***
Lulu walked the way Luna had shown her to the kitchens. Or tried to. She ended up at some stairs going upwards. "Gah. I don't remember," she murmured and slapped her forehead. "Stupid, stupid, stu-"
"Something the matter dear?" a regal voice asked from behind her.
She could tell the owner of the voice was smiling. "Hi Celestia." she said and turned around slowly.
Celestia was indeed smiling. "Problem finding the kitchen?" she asked in a slightly smug voice.
Lulu blushed. "A bit, perhaps," she chuckled nervously.
"Would you like me to show you the way?" Celestia laughed and extended a wing around the human girl.
"Sure. Please, I mean. If it's not too much trouble." Lulu smiled.
"Not at all. This way." Celestia guided her back the way she'd come. "So how do you like it here? Has Luna been a gracious host?"
Lulu nodded "Of course. She's been wonderful. She showed me around the castle for a while,"
Celestia smiled. A proud and wonderful smile that made the human remember so much of her parents.
"That is the smile of God," thought Lulu and hugged Celestia, bringing the princess to a sudden and awkward moment of confusion.
"Oh!" Lulu cried and jumped back, releasing the princess. "I'm sorry, I just really, really wanted to hug you then."
Celestia laughed and hugged Lulu back, leaving her stunned and with a few tears forming. "It's alright. Here." she said and stepped away from the human girl and pushed the door to the rec room open a tad. "We're h-"
"You're back!" Luna's voice slurred.
Celestia rolled her eyes. "Oh what now?" she muttered and pushed the door open fully.
Lulu stared at the sight before her: instead of picking up after herself, the Princess of the Night had decided to drink away her worries. Literally. There was a bottle on the bar with a note attached to it reading: ''Worries''.
"Well c'mon in then, you too Tia," Luna slurred.
Celestia trotted up to her sister and grabbed her muzzle. "How much have you had to drink?" she scolded like a mother warning her daughter about the dangers of drinking.
"About fmmph or fiff" Luna slurred again, her eyes blinking unevenly.
Lulu stifled a giggle as Luna gave a very noticeable wink to her.
Celestia released her sister's jaw and sat down next to her. "I'd better stay and make sure she doesn't do anything... Luna-ish," she explained as Lulu tilted her head questioningly. "So I can prevent what happened last time she got like this."
"What did she do?" Lulu asked and sat down on the other side of Luna, who was spinning merrily in her seat.
"Oh... got completely hammered and kissed all the stallions in the guard barracks." Celestia scowled at her sister, who grinned and took another drink.
"Really?" Lulu chuckled in surprise. "Way to go Luna."
"Hrrrm. But indubitably, there were questions. Lots. Of Questions," the white princess grunted.
"Hey... thur's an exshellent drink here.... I call it Rose... hello Rose, how are you today?" she giggled a the bottle and started taking large gulps from it, slipping slowly towards Lulu. "Hi." she giggled as she leant against Lulu.
"Hi." Lulu said back, trying to be polite and at the same time hold her breath. The pony's breath reeked of alcohol.
"You'll do something you regret, you know." Celestia warned and poured a glass of water.
Lulu stared at her, stunned. "Where did you get the water from?" she asked.
"Under the counter. I always leave a bottle for when Luna gets like... this." She waved a hoof at the dark blue pony.
"Hey! There's a great little place I know where we can pick up a few guys and get some more beer," Luna giggled and stumbled towards the door.
Celestia extended a wing and turned her around. "Oh no you don't. You're not leaving this room for anything. Toilets are that way." She pointed through a large red door.
Lulu nodded. "Oh. That's good then," she smiled. "I was wondering if we'd have to use a bucket or something."
Celestia smiled back and removed her wing as Luna stumbled around the bar and lay under the tap. "Turn it on for me would you?" she asked Lulu and batted her eyelashes.
Lulu glanced at Celestia, who sipped her water and watched her sister carefully. "I think you've had enough princess." she said slowly.
Celestia nodded. "Mhm."
"Aw, you guys are no fun. Girls. Whatever," the drunk princess grumbled, a few of her words blending together in the slur Lulu called ''English''. "Have you two ever noticed how hawt Discord is?" she slurred. "Tia you know 'bout him 'n 'is... thing, don't you?"
Celestia facehoofed. Audibly. "Luna," she warned. "You're blabbing again."
Luna waved a hoof and sat up and looked at her sister. "But he is!" she protested. "Especially that cute little bit of hair on his chin. Whassit called?" she asked and scratched her chin and drummed her hooves on the bar.
Lulu looked from princess to princess. "Um... bea-"
"Beard that's it! Thanksh Lulu." Luna giggled and draped a hoof around the human, bringing them terribly close. "Hey, wanna hear a secret?" she whispered in the human's ear.
Lulu looked around wildly at Celestia, who was watching them closely and mouthed: "It's alright."
The human nodded and looked down into Luna's eyes. That's terrifying. she thought as they blinked at different intervals, a touch psychotically might I add.
Luna grabbed Lulu's head, turning it on it's side and rose her head slightly to her ear. "Celestia's boring," she whispered, then fell back giggling her head off, resting on Lulu's lap.
Lulu chuckled nervously and looked at Celestia, relieved to see a small smile on the larger sister's face. "And she's normal again. Sort of," she chuckled. "Alright, I'm leaving her in your care, Lulu of Earth. Make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."
Lulu saluted. "Will do, princess."
"Here'sh an idea... let'sh put the radio on."
Lulu sighed and got up. She walked around the bar and flicked the switch for the neat little radio amongst the bottles.
Luna nodded her head as the song came on. "Ugh. Nightwish. Turn it off." she mumbled and put her hooves around her head.
"I thought you liked them?" Lulu asked.
"Pfft. I did when I was in them. Now they're alright. Bad memories though."
Lulu sighed and turned the channel over.
"Ahh! Tia's too heavy! Turn it over!" Luna cried and clutched at her ears.
Lulu laughed. "It's not too heavy, you wuss." "The pony equivalent of Týr I reckon, by the sound of it," she thought and bopped her head along to it for a few seconds.
"It is when you've drank as much as me," Luna whined. "Change it."
Lulu sighed again. At least she's sobering up a bit.
"Oh this..." Luna sighed and melted into the chair, the music washing over her.
"What's this?" Lulu asked and listened to the song, not recognizing it.
"It's Dino, you silly filly!"
Lulu looked at her with a blank expression.
The princess rolled her eyes. "Dino? Dean Maretin? The famous gryphon? Best looking gryphon ever?"
"Never heard of him. He sounds a a lot like Dean Martin though," Lulu said as she recognized the song. "Yeah I know Dino. He's a great singer on Earth."
"Hurry back, hurry back, hurry back..." Luna sang and took another swig of beer from ''Rose''.
"Oh poor Dino," Lulu chuckled. "What's that drink anyway?" she asked, eyeing the drink which Luna adored so much.
"It's called... Rose... Sh'r'n C'ss'dy," she slurred.
Lulu sighed and took the bottle from her magical grasp. "Rose Of Sharon Cassidy." she confirmed.
"Ah was close," Luna giggled. "C'mon have a glass. It's great," she insisted and poured a glass, with Lulu's assistance.
Lulu held the drink to her nose and sniffed.
Luna licked her lips as she saw the human's nose scrunch up with the smell and the first taste of the drink on her tongue. "'S great isn't it?"
Lulu smacked her lips and let her tongue hang out like a dog panting. "Ohhhh, yes it is, Luna. Yes it is," she giggled and poured another drink, the two of them singing along to Dino on the radio.
***
After a few more drinks, they began giggling and falling into a drunken stupor. I have translated their drunken slurs into English for your benefit.
"Alright, alright, your turn," Lulu chuckled and sloshed the drink in her hand around.
Luna raised a hoof. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good." she giggled and brought the hoof down, as if making a point. "So one time, an assistant of mine at the time - this was, oh... about two thousand years ago or something, so I've forgotten her name. I think it was pretty. And she asks to have a word with me privately. I nod and say of course..."
The awkward mare approached Luna cautiously.
"Um... princess? C-could I speak with you? P-p-privately?" she asked.
"Of course, dear. Come this way," Luna replied and led her to the night princess's office. "Sit down, please. Would you like any tea?"
"No thanks." the mare asked and looked around. "It's a lovely office you have here." she murmured.
"Thank you. Now what did you want to talk about?" the princess asked and sipped her tea casually.
The mare scratched her head awkwardly. "It's um... bedroom troubles," she muttered and averted her eyes from the princess.
Luna got up and closed the door quietly. "Go on," she said and sat back down, closer to the mare, and listened eagerly.
"Well." the mare cleared her throat. "I have a problem: whenever I... you know... his member... I don't choke. But when I use my toothbrush, I gag a little. Could you please explain why?"
Lulu roared with laughter at the princess's story. "And what did you 'advise' her?" she asked while trying to hold her sides together.
Luna placed a hoof over her mouth and ''shhhhed'', then took another drink. "So I said to her: well, clearly, your toothbrush is bigger."
The girls roared and howled with laughter, slapping their knees and the bar counter. Eventually, Lulu fell off her seat, and made the two of them roar with even more laughter.
The human staggered to her feet and collapsed on the stool, still clutching her sides with laughter. "Oh god, I can't breathe! Make it stop!" she howled, her vision blinded by tears of laughter.
"Tee hee. Your turn," Luna giggled and took another drink, finishing her current glass and immediately pouring another one.
"Alright. Let me think for a minute."
The game they had been playing consisted mainly of drinking after a funny story they had to share. No matter how personal or private. So far Luna was winning. They think. After the third bottle of Rose they kind of lost count.
"Aha! Got one!" Lulu cried triumphantly.
Luna tucked herself in closer, a grin still on her face as she listened to Lulu's story.
"It was waaaaaay back in middle school, when a ''friend'' came round and we had a test of sorts..."
Lulu glanced across at her friend. Perhaps ''friend'' was too strong a word. More like ''mortal-enemy-but-this-will-do''.
"C'mon then, Loopy, pour the thing in," her frienemy said irritatedly.
"You know, it would go a lot faster if you helped." Lulu scowled.
"Hmmph. I wouldn't dare," the partner snorted and turned away, flicking through some of Lulu's magazines about the usual adolescent girl stuff. "Ugh. All you read is this tasteless garbage. Got anything juicy?" the girl, who we'll call Gabby for the sake of having a name, asked.
"What do you mean 'juicy'?" Lulu asked curiously, yet a bit cautiously.
Gabby rolled her eyes. "Oh come off it Loopy! You mean your big sister's boyfriend doesn't have any of... those stashed here?"
Lulu scowled. "My name is not Loopy. And no. She doesn't. Not that I know what you're talking about anyway." she muttered and turned her head away.
Gabby stormed up to Lulu and grabbed her hand. "C'mon. Let's go find out." She grinned menacingly.
Lulu struggled to release her grasp. "Let go," she pleaded.
"Not until we find what I'm looking for. C'mon, Loopy. Unless you're chicken." Gabby grinned.
Lulu flared up and shook Gabby's hand free. "I am not a chicken. And my name is not Loopy," she growled as loudly as she dared.
Gabby tutted. "Alright, fine Loo... Loo. Let's go raid your sister's secret stash." she grinned.
Lulu showed her where Celeste's room was.
"Alright. I know what I'm looking for, so you stay here and keep a look out," Gabby commanded.
Lulu nodded, wondering if she'd finally have a friend after this.
About five minutes later, Gabby came back out of the room clutching a magazine. "Got it, let's go."
The pair of thirteen year olds giggled with glee as they fled back to Lulu's room. "So what did you get?" she asked and peered at the cover of the magazine.
A semi naked woman sat on what appeared to be a bed made of roses.
"You'll see." Gabby grinned seductively and flicked through the magazine. "Here. Let's try this one." she said and pointed at a picture of two girls kissing.
"What do you mean try?" Lulu asked.
"Oh come on, Lulu! Are you so thick in the ears that you've never kissed someone before?" Gabby asked, quite exasperated at Lulu's ineptitude.
Lulu blushed. "Well... no. Boys are icky anyway." she giggled.
"Exactly. So we do it ourselves." Gabby grinned and moved closer to Lulu, who shuffled awkwardly on the spot.
"What do you-"
She was cut off as Gabby pressed her lips up to Lulu's and ran her tongue around her teeth.
The door swung open and Celeste saw the two girls kissing. She grinned manically and motioned for them to continue. "Don't mind me girls, I'm just looking for my boyfriend's magazine. I see you two have it," she giggled and scooped up the dirty mag.
Gabby turned scarlet and fled from the house. She was never seen by our heroine again, bless her.
Lulu turned bright red around the ears and her face burned with shame. "Go away," she told her big sister.
Celeste grinned and closed the door quietly.
"And she's never let me forget it since." Lulu finished bitterly.
Luna's jaw hung open slightly, a mixture of surprise and drunkenness in her facial expression and leaned forward a touch.
Lulu looked at her blearily and felt something press against her lips.
Then it left as quickly as it came and she felt sleep take her.
***
Luna looked stunned as she pulled her face away from Lulu's. "Did I just..." she thought and shook her head, immediately facehoofing and rubbing her temples.
"Ohhh, stupid Luna. Don't shake you're head when you're drunk," she muttered to herself and looked at the now sleeping Lulu. "Aww," she said and brushed her mane away from her eyes and stifled a laugh, as a large bit of drool hung from her lower lip.
"Goodnight, Lulu," she whispered and lay her own head down on the bench, and drifted off to sleep
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Six - Something Unexpected This Way Comes
"Wake up, sleepyhead," a familiar voice giggled.
Luna felt herself falling sideways and stuck her wings out, bracing herself for a fall.
She opened her eyes slowly and looked into her friend's face.
"Hi," she murmured.
Lulu smiled back. "Hi."
Then Luna did something unexpected.
Very.
Unexpected.
***
Lulu groaned and sat up. She glanced at the sleeping princess beside her and silently 'dawwwed'.
"Ugggh," she grunted anfter she'd finished watching Luna, and reached over for Celestia's water, taking a large couple of gulps and sighed. "Oh for..." she muttered as the headache came and sank her head into her arms.
She rose her head slightly, when Luna mumbled something in her sleep.
"Luna?" Lulu asked quietly and nudged her gently.
The sleeping princess stirred and moved her lips, "Who's thur?"
Lulu frowned. "Luna, can you hear me?"
Luna mumbled something in response and turned her head over, facing Lulu.
She shook Luna gently, "Wake up sleepyhead." she giggled and rocked the princess from side to side. She may have pushed Luna a bit too roughly, and sent her toppling over sideways.
Lulu gasped and moved to catch her, hoping she was too tired or hungover to notice that she'd been pushed.
The princess's eyelids fluttered open slowly and she looked at the human. "Hi," she murmured.
"Hi." Lulu smiled back.
The pony in her arms started to raise her head slightly, opening her mouth a bit as she approached Lulu's face.
"What is she doing?" Lulu wondered, and felt her palms getting sweaty.
Luna's mouth opened slightly wider as she almost reached Lulu's face.
And then.
"Bleeehhhhh!" Luna vomited all down Lulu's top.
"Oh come on!" Lulu cried and shoved the princess back into her seat.
Luna giggled and wiped the small bit of puke from her mouth. "Sorry."
Lulu glared at her. "It's fine. But help me clean this up," she grumbled. "Ohhh, I'll have to take this off," she muttered as the puke began to stink on her t-shirt.
The princess turned bright red. "I'll just... face this way then," she mumbled and turned away, her head swaying slightly.
Lulu glanced at the back of her friend's head and tried to take the top off without getting puke in her hair or anything. "Uhhh. Luna? Could you help a bit? I'm stuck," she murmured, and turned red as the princess turned back around and giggled at her exposed naval. "Oh shut up and help."
Luna stifled a giggle and used her magic to help remove the puke stained t-shirt. She couldn't help but glance at Lulu's bra before she got the shirt off.
The human opened her mouth so say something as the t-shirt was removed, when the door swung open again and Celestia stared at the girls.
A huge grin spread over her face. "Oh my," she said and leant against the wall, propping a leg up in a nonchalant manner.
Luna turned bright red. "We weren't d-doing anything!" she cried defensively.
"Dude be cool," Lulu hissed and covered her breasts, turning just as scarlet.
Celestia just stood there and grinned manically. "I'll leave you two alone while I go find some more appropriate clothing for Lulu," she said quietly and closed the door.
"We weren't doing anything!" Luna shouted after her, visibly dripping with sweat.
"Dude chill!" Lulu hissed again and shivered.
They sat in an uncomfortable silence, during which Luna stayed bright red, her flushed cheeks mashing horrendously with her dark blue coat.
Eventually, Celestia stepped back into the room, shaking slightly as she tried not to burst out laughing. "Here," she said and produced a sweater from in between her wings. "Put this on," she said and stifled another giggle. She wiped her red, puffy eyes.
"Thanks, princess," Lulu murmured and slipped into the sweater.
"Hmm. It's a bit big," Celestia murmured as she observed the clothing.
"It's fine," Lulu smiled. "It feels like I'm wearing a cloud," she thought and rubbed a sleeve against her face.
"Now. What exactly were you do-" Celestia started with a raised eyebrow.
"Wedidn'tdoanythingCelestia!" Luna bellowed and wiped some sweat from her cheek.
Lulu and Celestia stared at her, Lulu slowly grinding her jaw and mouthed something like ''shut up or I'll kill you''.
"I have got to chill," the Night Princess murmured and hid behind her wings, her face the shade of blood.
Celestia shook her head and looked at Lulu expectantly.
"Well, she is technically right," Lulu murmured, avoiding Celestia's gaze. "I shook her awake a bit too hard perhaps, and she puked on me. It's not like we kissed or anything," she chuckled.
Luna removed her wings and turned deathly pale, earning a questioning glance from Lulu and a sudden dawn of realization as both girls turned scarlet.
Celestia raised an eyebrow but said nothing, merely shrugging and nodding curtly to them both. "I think you've had enough to drink, girls. Try and get something productive done today." she said and closed the door on her way out.
Awkward silence filled the rec room, the radio's batteries running out sometime while they slept.
Lulu glanced at Luna, who turned her head, face bright red and tried to hide behind a wing again. "So..."
Luna flinched and peeked out from behind the feathers. "...So...?"
"Did we...?" Lulu asked cautiously.
"I.... don't remember," Luna murmured and buried her face again, feeling her cheeks flush bright red.
Lulu frowned. "What exactly happened again?" she asked. "I don't remember much."
The Princess brought her head out of her wings again, still blushing furiously. "I remember... drinking... and laughing... and Dino."
"Yeah I remember Dino," Lulu laughed and nodded her head. "And I remember you singing."
Luna stayed scarlet and let out a small laugh. "Was it that bad?"
"Nahhh. Just hard to understand. I think we invented our own language shortly after that," Lulu chuckled. "Then what?" she asked, eager to know how the night ended.
"I think we played a game, where we had to tell stories." Luna said, feeling slightly more confident and comfortable. "Then you told your last one and I ki-" she stuck her hooves in her mouth and turned a deadly shade of red.
Lulu's eyes widened. "You did!" she cried.
Luna backed away from her and folded her wings over her face, clenching her teeth together, determined not to say anything.
The human folded her arms and watched the princess. "And I don't really mind."
Luna froze.
Lulu did too. "What did I just say?" she whispered.
They stared at each other for a while, then slowly shuffled a few inches forwards.
"I um... don't know what to say..." Luna murmured as they shuffled closer.
Lulu said nothing, and eyed the princess coyly as she shuffled forwards herself.
They eventually reached each other and could smell one another's breath.
Luna opened her mouth to say something, when the door flung open and made them jump apart and glare at the guard who kicked the door open.
"Sorry to interrupt, m'ladies, but Princess Celestia has summoned both of you immediately. If you'd kindly follow me," he said and motioned for them to follow.
The girls nodded grudgingly and followed him.
Luna felt her cheeks flush as Lulu's hand brushed against her cutie mark, then withdraw quickly.
Lulu turned deep red and hurried after the guard as he led them to the throne room.
The Moon Princess let her go forwards. "Mainly so I can watch her," she thought and giggled softly, earning a quick glance from the human. "Wait a minute, what am I doing?" she suddenly thought. "I don't want to drive my only friend, my best friend away by falling in love with her-"
She stopped. Both in thinking and in walking, and let the guard and Lulu walk further ahead. "Is the L word applicable here?" she murmured quietly to herself as she watched them go on ahead. She snapped back to reality when Lulu waved her over and waited for her.
Lulu worried about what the princess was thinking. "You should be worrying about yourself at the minute, girl," her own voice told her in her head. "What if something happened between you two, and you lost your best friend? Don't do anything you'd regret."
She nodded to herself as Luna joined her side, standing proudly as they entered the large throne room.
The princess carried herself like a princess should, losing all traces of the drunk version of herself a mere few hours before.
The human on the other hand, shuffled awkwardly behind the princess, feeling worried, scared, a tad excited and nervous all at the same time at being present at a formal preceding as this. "What's this even for anyway?" she wondered as Luna came to a stop and motioned for Lulu to sit next to her.
She did and sat down, feeling highly out of place.
"Now," Celestia said and cleared her throat. "Let's begin."
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Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Seven - A Momentary Loss Of Muscular Coordination
Lulu looked terribly confused as she sat next to Luna during the ceremony for whatever it was passed.
"So what's this about?" she whispered for what felt like the hundredth time.
Luna rolled her eyes and facehoofed. "It's the royal banquet planning. Now hush," she said crossly.
Lulu puffed out her cheeks and sank back into her chair as the noble spewed on about some rubbish about god knows what.
"And further more," the stuffy noble said, his voice rising above the others. "Princess Luna should not allow a guest, an alien no less, to wander the castle freely. She should be quarantined and examined for any unknown diseases."
Luna bolted upright. "What did you say?" she growled.
The noble gulped and attempted to salvage anything of what he had just said. "I meant that - gaak!" he cried as Luna made a dark purple ring of magic form around his skinny neck..
"I find your lack of personal safety disturbing. You do not speak about Lulu that way, understand?" she growled menacingly.
"Ye-esss," he mumbled and struggled for air.
"Enough. Luna, release him," Celestia commanded and slammed a hoof on the table.
"As you wish," Luna snarled and removed the magic glow from around his throat. "Come on Lulu. Let's leave these close minded idiots to their petty squabbles." she muttered and stormed out the room.
Lulu looked around. "Sorry," she mumbled and went after the princess. "Hey, hey, hey..." she murmured as she caught up with her friend. "What was that about?"
Luna sniffed and allowed a single tear to roll down her cheek. "Sorry, it's just you're my first friend and ponies just shun you like they do me."
Lulu put her hands on her hips and wiped the tear away with the sleeve of her new sweater. "You don't have to care what they say about me. I don't. People on Earth would always say mean things about me, just for being different.
Luna sniffed again. "Really? Why didn't you tell them otherwise?"
The human shrugged and put an arm around the pony. "Beats me. They just did and I lived with it."
Luna pulled away from her and walked forwards a few steps. "So... you just ignored them? I wish I could do that." she muttered.
"Why don't you?"
"Because being a princess, one has responsibilities to uphold. Even if her subjects hate and despise her." the princess replied and sniffed again.
"Oh you don't know that," Lulu said and waved a hand as she walked past the princess.
"Yes I do, actually," Luna muttered darkly and faced her friend.
"No you don't." Lulu replied and and raised her voice slightly. "Look, the point is, Luna: if you're going to sit here in the castle and mope all day, then at least have fun doing it."
Luna tilted her head. "What do you mean?"
"Here, I'll show you," Lulu giggled and took the princess's wing in her hand. "First: we get some snacks. Take me to your kitchen again, please," she said and blushed. "I've forgotten the way again."
Luna chuckled and led her friend to the kitchens again.
"Hello, girls. What can I help you with this time?" Mr Floop said cheerily as they bustled into his kitchen again.
"Hello, Floop, Lulu has a plan of sorts." Luna said and smiled at the chef pony.
"We need candy. And drinks. Lots of them," Lulu said, grinning like mad.
Floop chuckled. "Alright, here," he said and withdrew a large tub of sweets. "But take it easy on them, too many and you'll get a stomach ache. And these," he smiled and filled up two large cups of milky substance.
Lulu nodded. "I know, I've heard that speech before. Thanks Mr Floop." She smiled and took Luna's wing in her hand again, while placing the tub in between her wings and carrying the drinks in her hands..
"I hope you know that this isn't very dignified," Luna grumbled as they marched. "Where now?"
"Your room. We pull an all-nighter."
Luna cocked her head and Lulu sighed in an exasperated manner. "Video games," she deadpanned. "Maybe other stuff, we'll see."
"Oh." Luna said and allowed her face to break into a grin. "I could do that. But what does that have to do with moping?"
Lulu tapped her nose playfully with the end of the cup. "Because, my dear princess, it helps when we lock the door and ignore everything else."
Luna's eyes widened at the suggestive tone in her voice.
Lulu giggled and skipped along. "C'mon. Race you."
Luna started cantering after her, laughing and smiling all the way, until they reached the princess's room.
"Close the curtains, lock the door, and I'll set everything up." Lulu chuckled as they panted for breath, having sprinted the final flight of stairs.
"Alright." Luna nodded and floated the tub of sweets to the table and enveloped the curtains in a dark glow.
"Ahhh! Too dark!" Lulu's voice cried in the dark as Luna heard a small crash.
"Oh what did you do?" she asked and re-opened the curtains.
"Nothing. Just fell over." Lulu blushed and picked up a tin of sweets and placed it next to the tub of sweets they'd retrieved from the kitchen. "Hang on, where'd the tin come from?"
Luna laughed. "Oh that. I've always got a secret stash hidden somewhere. Never know when you're going to need some sweeties late at night."
Lulu looked at the tin and peered in. "Chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate." she murmured and looked up at Luna. "Luna are you a chocoholic?"
"Oh come off it. From one tin of sweets?" the princess laughed and levitated a small bar out and plopped in in her mouth.
"I already saw the twelve candy bars in the fridge," Lulu deadpanned.
Luna's grin faded. "Alright I might be, what's it to you?" she said suspiciously.
The human placed the tin down and put her hands on her hips. "Nothing. Just remember to share with your best friend." she giggled and batted her eyelashes, leaning over to her lovingly. "Unless you want me to leave?"
"No!" Luna cried and made poor Lulu jump. "I mean... no... I'll share," she murmured bashfully.
Lulu patted her on the back. "It's alright, I didn't mean to make you sad," she said awkwardly. "I love being here."
Luna nodded. "I know. Sorry for making you make me feel bad," she said.
The girls looked at each other slowly. Then burst into a giggle fit.
"Ooh. I know. Let's get some music too," Luna said excitedly as they closed the curtains after putting the drinks in the small fridge the princess had under the table on the far side of the room.
"Good idea," Lulu nodded her head, just as eagerly.
Luna trotted over to a dresser beside her bed, and Lulu peered over her shoulder secretly and couldn't help but notice a pair of socks scrunched up. She raised her eyebrows in surprise and said nothing.
The princess fumbled around in the drawer for a few minutes and pulled out a small iPod.
"Really? They exist here too?" Lulu asked as she gobbled down some sweets.
"Mhm. Now what do you want to listen to?" Luna responded and flicked through some songs.
Lulu shrugged. "Surprise me."
Luna nodded. Oh I will. she thought with glee as she chose shuffle, allowing some Iron Hayden to play (When The Everfree Wind Blows ) for now.
The girls sang and danced around for a while before they settled down on their pillows. "OK, so which game first?"
"Hmmm," Lulu murmured as she ran her finger along the games Luna had: "Haylo, but we've already played that, Uncharted 2: Beyond Ponies, Ponymon: Gotta Friend 'Em All: Colosseum (heh, we may have to play that later just to see what it is), Super Smash Bronies Brawl, Grand Theft Carriage: Las Pegasus, Marevel Vs Capcolt 3, Stable 2, Mare Effect 1, 2 or 3, Super Mareio Sisters..." she read off, including many others, but the puns be too great for my poor brain, so I shan't name them all.
"Let's play... Ponymon," she decided. "Actually, it doesn't matter where we begin, we've got all night to ourselves." she giggled and took another drink of milkshake, not noticing the joke she'd just made.
Luna did however, and turned bright red again. "She keeps making all these jokes... does she want me to do something?" she wondered as she watched Lulu operate the Neightendo Manecube delicately. "You act as if you've used a Manecube before. Do they have them on Earth?" she asked.
"Yeah. Except they're called Gamecubes. Very strange name I know. I half expected them to be called this as a joke, but then they actually went with it and I was like: ''well I'll be damned''," she laughed.
Luna laughed and bopped her head as a song about Raspawtin came on, the mad monk of the sphinx lands far to the west. But she couldn't stop watching how the human's hair moved, much like her own. "Beautiful..." she murmured, just barely over a whisper that would give Fluttershy a run for her money.
"OK, so how do you use this thing?" Lulu asked and picked up the controller for the Manecube. It was quite different from Gamecube controls on Earth. For one, it was shaped like a hoof. Need I say more?
"Here," Luna showed her how and played the tutorial for her.
"Ohhh right. I got it now. It's just the controller that looks different, not the controls. Gotcha," Lulu giggled and began playing.
***
A few hours and a few smuggled beers later, the girls were well on their way to Boomtown in the Ponymon universe. "Alright now what you have to do is..." Luna explained, having finished this game already. She'd finished all the games she had already. One thousand years of utter boredom drives someponies to extreme lengths of depression, where all they can do is play video games and drink themselves into a stupor.
After being beaten by the boss at the end of Boomtown several times, they decided they would play something else.
"Oh, how about Marvel Vs Capcolt now?" Lulu asked. "Me V you? Luna e Luna?" she giggled, remembering that her name was indeed Luna, just nicknamed Lulu here in Equestria.
Luna nodded. "You're on," she giggled and picked up her own controller, content with playing against her friend.
Strangely enough, MVC 3's characters consisted of ponies from Equestria: Spitfire, Twilight Sparkle, Trixie. Even the two princesses, as well as characters from their own respective franchises.
Lulu chose her team: Trixie, Megamare and Spidermare, while Luna chose hers: Soarin', Captain Equestria and Manegeto.
"Let's do this." Luna grinned at her friend, who grinned back and hit ready.
The battle raged for ages. Hours at the very least.
Eventually, Luna was down to her last character, the captain no less. She wiped her forehead free of the sweat from the adrenaline of the game.
"Ready to quit?" Lulu grunted and drank some more beer, burping loudly and nudging the pony next to her.
"Never! Never surrender!" Luna cried defiantly. "Nevah surren'ah!"
"Your funeral, little miss princess," Lulu chuckled.
"Try me, little miss human," Luna giggled back as the final round began.
"OK here we go," Lulu murmured and bared her teeth in frustration as Captain Equestria knocked Trixie out. "Great and powerful, my little toe," she muttered as Spidermare popped out, web slinging herself at the star-spangled hero.
Down to the last little smidgen of health, the timer ran out.
Luna closed her eyes and took a deep breath, then slyly opened one eye and smirked at the frustrated human. "Problem?" she asked.
Lulu pouted slightly. "How are you so good as Cap?"
Luna shrugged and giggled. "Don't know. Want another drink?"
"Nah I'm good. One of us has to stay sober to keep the other from kissing us again," she giggled.
Luna sighed. "I told you, that was just a one-time thing, I didn't mean to do it. Now can we please drop the subject?"
Lulu raised her hands defensively. "Alright, you just 'fell' onto my lips is that it?" she teased and stuck her tongue out. "Want another one?" she said and made smooching noises, turning the poor princess as red as the fields of roses outside the Dark Tower.
Luna tried to shove her away jokingly, but Lulu must have moved slightly, for the princess actually did fall towards the human, and their mouths locked for a second.
Both their eyes went wide as they struggled out of each other's grasp, realizing they were actually clutching each other intimately.
Lulu picked the princess up and flopped her on the bed, their lips still locked and their tongues working against each other, vying for control over one another in dominance of the mouths.
***
They lay on the bed, dozing slightly under the covers.
Lulu stirred and rose slightly, stroking Luna's blue fur softly. "Oh god am I a furry?" she wondered with a sudden fear. "Ah screw it (tee hee). I just sexed with a horse and it was goooood. I don't care," she decided, and laid her head back down.
Luna woke as well and looked at the human in her bed, running a silky hoof down her arm. "Hi," she murmured, smiling softly.
"Hi," Lulu grinned back and kissed her nose. "Now that time, you did fall on me," she chuckled.
"No," Luna said sternly, yet soothingly. "That, my dear... was a momentary loss of muscular coordination."
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Eight - The Morning After
As Lulu sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the sleeping face of her pony equivalent, she began to wonder if this is what actual, really-reals love was like.
"I hope it's like this," she thought, while suppressing a giggle as the princess yawned and bucked a leg out in her dream. She extended a hand and gently stroked the princess's mane and neck.
The human grinned to herself as she climbed back into bed and slipped her arms around her bedfellow. She listened with closed eyes as their bodies rose and fell with each other.
Luna stirred and opened one eye. A smile crept across her regal features as she felt the human's hot breath on her neck. "Lulu, are you awake?"
The yelp and quick removal of the limbs around her confirmed it.
"Uhhh, Luna! Hi. You're awake. And I was... cuddling you," Lulu rambled as she stared into the beautiful eyes of the princess.
Said princess chuckled and stretched her wings. "Yes. About that-"
Lulu immediately nodded. "Yeah, no, we moved too fast, didn't we? I mean, we only just met a few days ago, well personally at least, I've known about you since a year I think, and we just sort of know each other already seen as how we're from opposite universes or something and you're staring at me because I'm rambling, and I ramble because I'm nervous - it's a defence mechanism and it's stupid and-"
Luna thankfully held a hoof to her lips and smiled, suppressing the urge to giggle rather unceremoniously. "I think it's cute," she said as she brushed part of Lulu's hair away. She leant in rather intimately and pursed her lips slightly.
"Ahem."
The announcing cough made them leap away from each other and stare at the door, or more importantly, who had just opened the door.
"Tia! We-" Luna began.
"Weren't doing anything?" the Solar Princess grinned and leant against the door frame. She waved a hoof. "By all means. Continue. It's nice seeing you so happy, you know."
The Moon Princess's mouth snapped shut and a deep shade of red crossed her face.
"And hearing," the elder sister continued.
The younger sister's face changed from embarrassed to mortified. "You... heard... us...?"
The human's face turned pale as she turned away.
Celestia nodded. "Not the best thing for a princess to be screaming at the early hours."
Luna buried her face in her hooves and folded her wings around herself.
Lulu simply looked down and shuffled her feet, all the while fighting off the urge to laugh without end. It is funny when you think about it, she reasoned with herself. "Uhh," she mumbled, breaking the awkward tension.
Both princesses turned to her, one still grinning like a madpony and the other still trying (and failing) to hide herself in her wings.
"Um... what now?" Lulu said, bluntly.
Her ''beloved'' removed one wing and blinked at her. She opened her mouth to speak and looked up at her big sister and trembled. Celestia's face had changed. No more was a grin plastered to her face. Instead, there was a serious look of deep thought.
"I suggest..." she said quietly. "That you think about this. I don't want to see you alone again, Luna. Or Lulu, I'd hate to have to send you back to Earth. You seem like such a nice girl..."
Lulu shivered at the princess's unnerving tone.
Luna did too. "Sister?" she murmured cautiously as Celestia's eyes glazed over for a moment. She shook her head and looked down.
"Hmm?" she responded with that usual cheeriness, losing the previous intensity just a few moments before.
Luna narrowed her eyes. "Never mind. You want us to take things... slow... then?"
Her sister nodded. "If only for your benefit. Both of you."
Lulu nodded too and places a hand between her friend's wings. "I could do that," she said, beaming with pride. I'm going to date Princess Luna. I'm going to date Princess Luna, she excitedly thought as the princess sidled closer to her and grinned just as wide.
The Sun Queen beamed with pride and flapped her wings as she turned to go. "Glad to hear it. Come down and get some breakfast, dears. You've a big day ahead of you and you need to pack your things. You're going to Ponyville."
Luna's smile slowly faded as a look of utter bewilderment and general fangirlyness (it's a word) took over Lulu's.
"What do you mean we're going to Ponyville?" the princess asked.
Her sister turned around and frowned. "Oh, I sent Twilight a letter saying you'd be joining her in Ponyville to learn about your ''friendship'' with Lulu. I told you yesterday."
"Did you?... I don't remember."
"You were drunk."
"Oh."
Celestia giggled with sibling mischief as she trotted over to her red-faced baby sister and gave her a great big hug. "Come now, everypony enjoys a drink." She smiled and glanced over at the human in the room. "Now, I think Lulu has gone into shock. You may want to get her something to eat. Preferably not yourself."
Luna gazed at Lulu's face, stuck in mid-squee. "That's not a bad idea," she admitted and nuzzled the human's arm. Then she froze and stared at her sister with an open mouth.
No words could be spoken to convey just how mortified the princess was at that moment.
So have this.
***
The Solar Princess cackled with mischievous glee as she accompanied her sister and friend to the breakfast room. Luna was still recovering from the implications, and Lulu was practically skipping, humming the tune to My Little Pony. "I can't wait to see them all," she said as she bounced along.
"Who, my dear?" Celestia asked.
"Twilight and all them. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Rarity, heck, I'd even love to meet the Doctor, see if he's actually The Doctor or just a doctor."
The alabaster alicorn chuckled. "I'm sure they'll love to meet you too, Lulu. Just... try and keep my sister from making a spectacle of herself, would you kindly?" she grinned and nuzzled her sister.
Luna flinched and glared at the wing touching her.
Lulu frowned and sidled up to her. "Lunaaaaa?" she cooed. "Are you pissed at Celestia?"
"Maybe," The dark blue alicorn glanced at the human and frowned at the strain on the ''aaa''. She shrugged it off as a relationship thing.
"Lunaaaaa, that's not nice."
"What she said wasn't very nice."
"Lunaaaaa- OK I'm going to stop that, it was just a joke. C'mon, lets get some brekkie*. What do ponies have for breakfast anyway? I know you have pizza and cookies, but what else do you eat?"
The princess's face lit up. "Well, there's toast, sandwiches, cereal, the usual breakfast things, really. Oh!" she cried and smacked her forehead. "Things!"
Celestia face hoofed.
Lulu chuckled nervously. "Things?"
"Yes, Things. I'm not very hungry, thank you Celestia," Luna growled, "so I'll go and pack our things. Tia, make sure Lulu gets something to eat, please." She winced at the dirty imagery flooding her brain. "Thanks a lot, dearest sister."
The white princess nodded and gestured for Lulu to follow her. "I will. Good thinking about the ''things'' by the way. Better to get two gryphons with one hoof."
Luna grunted in acknowledgement and trotted off towards the stairs.
Celestia turned back to Lulu. "So tell me, what do humans eat for ''brekkie''?"
Lulu giggled as they walked into the dining room. "Well, toast, cereal, sometimes crumpets."
The princess frowned. "Crumpets? Do tell."
"Well, I'm not entirely sure what exactly it is. Pastry I think. They're really good. Especially with chocolate spread on."
The alicorn stood up all of a sudden. "Come. Lets tell Mr Floop about these crumpets. I'd like to try one." With that, she was off. Happily cantering towards the kitchens as servants sidestepped and bowed gracefully.
For Lulu, however, they jumped away and began murmuring to themselves as she stepped over, through and past some. She smiled to them as she trotted after the princess and possible crumpets.
***
Twilight received the princess's letter when she was in the middle of a book marathon. What's a book marathon, you ask? Well, it's when somepony would gather a collection of books (in this case ALL the books) and sit down and read every. Single. One of them. But for Twilight, this was a normal Sunday afternoon.
"Twilight! You've got a letter from the princess." Spike called from his bed, in the middle of his own ''marathon'', if one could call it that. Eating ice cream and cookie dough and reading... ''books'' that shall not be named by any organized society.
Twilight frowned and looked up from her book. "What about?" she asked, grumbling and protesting the fact that he was still too young for those things.
"Um..." Spike finished his mouthful of ice-cream cookie dough stuff and read the letter again. "Princess Luna and her friend called Lulu are coming to stay in Ponyville for a while. It says here that Lulu's a human. What's a human, Twilight?"
The lavender unicorn teleported up to him and grabbed the letter from his open claws. "Human?" she whispered and scanned over the letter, her pupils shrinking with delight as she focused on that little word.
Human.
"Oh, Spike... this will be the scientific journey of the century, oh think of what we might learn from her," she trailed off in her own little science world.
Spike waved a claw in front of her face. "Uh... Twilight? You OK? You zoned out on me."
She shook her head and blinked at him. "Yes, I'm fine, take a letter to the princess."
The dragon quickly moved to the writing desk and plucked out a quill from behind his spines. He licked the tip and stared at Twilight with eager eyes.
Twilight cleared her throat and began. "Dear Princess Celestia... I would be delighted to welcome the princess and Lulu to Ponyville. I think it would be a great idea, I mean, of course it would, it's your idea. We'll begin getting everything ready for their arrival as soon as possible. Yours truly, Twilight Sparkle."
"And done," Spike said as he finished Twilight's signature. "Want me to send it off now?"
Twilight nodded and was filled with excitement. "You do that, and I'll go tell the others. Oh this is going to be fun."
Spike snorted and sent the message away in a cloud of his green, magical breath. "Fun," he grunted and sat back down, enjoying his food and his magazine's content.
Twilight giggled with added glee and trotted out the door to find her friends and tell them the good news.
A human was coming to town!
***
A few doors down the street, a mint green unicorn suddenly gave a violent shudder, and started to grin. She knew not why, but she knew that whatever it was...
It was coming.
*Brekkie - It's a British thing, British/Canadian thing, British/Canadian/Aussie thing, THING. IT'S A THING FROM SOMEWHERE, ALRIGHT? Short for breakfast.
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Nine - The Revenge Of The Feels
As Luna finished packing the cases, she sat on the bed and smiled to herself. She let a hoof drift over to the still warm spot of where Lulu had slept. She smiled and levitated the nearest games console into the case. "Priorities first," she giggled as the X-Bon nestled nicely on top of the Manecube. She suddenly sat up and looked around. "Damn, drums downstairs. I'll have to be quick."
She trotted over to the open door and once again began her descent down to the rec room. On the way, she started thinking more and more of Lulu, the human she knew next to nothing about, yet loved with all her heart.
Luna giggled cheerily as she thought of the human's hair, and her skin and her general... awesomeness.
She shook her head and continued forwards, eventually pressing up against the rec room door. With a sigh, she pushed gently forwards. The door responded by promptly falling off it's hinges and clattering on the floor below.
"Well then," the princess muttered as she stepped over it. "I'll have Tia send somepony down to fix that later. For now, I must... oh..." she murmured as she lifted it up and propped it up against the door frame.
No way was the whole set going to fit in her case. Not even with alicorn science. "Hmm. What to do?"
*Knock knock knock*
Came the rapping, the rapping at the rec room's wrecked door. Said door once again fell forwards with another clatter, revealing Celestia standing there, looking at her sister with a questioning glance.
Luna shrugged and stared back. "Can I help you, sister?" she queried.
The alabaster alicorn stepped over the door and smiled. "Lulu was looking for you. We thought you'd be up in your room, but apparently you're here. Enjoying some alone time, sister?"
The Night Princess straightened her neck up. "I came to get my drums, for your information," she replied, inspecting a rather suspicious brown mark on her sister's cheek.
Celestia chuckled. "Oh you're not thinking of taking those are you? You'll scare Ponyville's ponies half to death with them."
"Well they won't fit in the case and- Tia what is that on your face?"
Celestia frowned as she raised a hoof to her face and wiped some of it off. Luna spotted some more around her lips and in the corners of her mouth as she inspected more closely. "I... mustn't have gotten it off. Whoops. It's chocolate spread, Luna. Lulu showed me some human food - crumpets. Delicious things they are.
She extended a hoof with a bit of chocolate spread on it. "Go on, try it."
Luna sniffed it suspiciously and scraped as little as she could off with her own hoof. She sniffed it again and extended her tongue, just barely grazing the substance. Her lips smacked together as she registered the taste.
"Nice, isn't it?" Celestia asked with a smile.
The Moon Goddess nodded slowly and licked her lips. "Yes. Really nice, actually. Can we go get some more? I'd prefer having it off my own hoof, not yours. I mean... off a spoon, of course," she quickly added at seeing Celestia's raised eyebrow.
The elder sibling nodded thoughtfully. "Of course you did. Come on, I believe Lulu is still looking for you. She's up in your room. Or is that her room too?"
"Tia!" Luna protested, turning scarlet.
"I'm only asking if we should acquire extra bedding. Oh wait..."
"Tia!" the younger sister repeated, turning an even deeper shade of red. "We haven't... got that far yet..."
"Really? I could have sworn I heard you two-"
"Stop talking."
Celestia tittered and inclined her head for a nuzzle. "Alright, alright."
"I meant," Luna said through gritted teeth as she reluctantly returned nuzzles, "that we haven't gotten to the point where we... discuss... things..."
"Oh. I see. Would you like some assistance?" the Sun Goddess ventured.
Luna made to shake her head, then stopped and thought for a moment. "M.. maybe," she whispered.
Celestia flicked her ear and tilted her head sideways. "I'm sorry what was that?"
"Maybe," Luna repeated again, slightly, ever so slightly, louder.
"Once more?"
"Maybe."
The older of the two mockingly let her jaw fall open and gave a dramatic gasp. "My word, Luna, art thou feeling alright?" she cried in a mock royal voice, grinning even wider as her sister's cheeks turned slightly pink. "Thou must be feeling unwell, for thou never asks us for help!"
"Oh shut up," Luna grunted and walked away from her giggling sister. With a glare worthy of Tartarus, she turned back and spoke to the white alicorn. "Do you really want to help?" she quietly asked with baleful eyes.
Celestia quickly trotted up to her, still grinning from ear to ear. "Yes. I feel I should at least offer to help," she replied, repeating her motion of nuzzles again. Her nose touched her sister's cheek tenderly. "You're my sister, Luna. I want to see you happy, no matter what, and I would like to view Lulu as my own sister too. Someday."
Luna's dark blue cheeks once again turned bright red at her sister's words.
"But for now, just work on building your relationship. That's more or less why I'm sending you to Twilight for a while. She knows more on friendship than either of us, and I believe Lulu is quite excited about meeting her."
"Mhm."
They nuzzled each other affectionately before they set off once more for Luna's room.
***
Lulu sat on the bed and gazed around at the room. She'd done a lot in this room in such a short time. And she enjoyed every single second of it.
"Mischievous face," she said to herself in a monotonous voice. Think Microsoft Sam.
She pushed herself backwards and lay down on the bed, feeling it's warmth and softness through her shirt, but her eyes suddenly welled up as an image of Celeste filled her mind. "Ugh... goddamn," she sniffed as she rubbed her eyes. She sat up and looked around the room again.
Her fingers absent mindedly drummed against the bedside as she sat there, waiting and thinking. Waiting for Luna, thinking about home.
The door opened ajar, and a disembodied head of a blue pony poked around.
"Hello Lulu, sorry I kept you waiting," the head said.
Lulu nodded and returned to gazing around the room, hoping and praying that Luna didn't see her watery eyes.
But of course Luna did and immediately rushed forwards, disregarding all meaning of the words ''personal space'' as she grasped the human's face in her hooves.
"What's wrong? Have you been crying? Are you crying?" she demanded while inspecting her friend's face.
Lulu felt the sadness in her belly rise up as another image of home and Celeste flooded into her brain. "Miss sister," she mumbled.
Luna released her friend's face and hopped onto the bed next to her, then wrapped her wings around her and held her close. "I am so sorry."
"For what?" the human sniffed as she rested against the blue body of her girlfriend.
"For being so selfish, for keeping you here. For bringing you here against your will. If you want to go back I... I could do it now, if you wanted."
Lulu reared backwards and shook her head. "Nonononono, none of that. I miss my sister, that doesn't mean I want to go back yet."
"But I should have asked first..." Luna murmured and turned away, reluctantly removing her wings slowly.
"Ashk, smashk," Lulu chuckled and waved a hand, forcing one of the wings around her again like a feathery blanket. "I would have said yes anyway... I love being here. With you."
Luna blushed and shyly brought her hooves up to her face and flexed her wing. "I love you being here too."
The door creaked, making both of them look up nervously. Celestia smiled as she peered around. "That's lovely you two, but you really must get a move on if you are to catch your train."
Luna nodded and hopped off the bed, still somehow keeping her wing wrapped firmly around Lulu. She stopped and looked around sadly. "But... my drums... I couldn't fit it in."
Lulu snorted with laughter and immediately turned scarlet. "My mind needs scrubbing."
"Don't worry, I'll send them along once you're there. With Lulu's guitar too," said Celestia with a smile.
The younger sister nodded and widened her eyes. "Yes. Lulu's guitar. Sorry Lulu I - I completely forgot about it."
"It's fine. I did too, I guess," Lulu apologetically said. At Luna's saddened glance she quickly added, "Just caught up in everything."
Luna nodded and moved beside her companion, nuzzling her arm and smiling. "Should we move then? Our cases are all packed." She patted the large luggage case next to her on the ground with a flick of her tail.
"Let's then," Lulu replied.
Celestia smiled again to herself as she stepped aside to let the girls leave the room, hand in wing. She sighed contentedly and quietly followed them, casting a glance at the soon-to-be quiet room. "It's been a while since this particular room was empty. Are you sure you'll be alright, Tia?" she asked herself.
She didn't give an answer. Merely closing the door and following her sister.
At the foot of the stairs, when Luna and Lulu were quite a ways away, their case floating behind them in Luna's magical grasp, she had an idea. A wonderful, marvellous idea, accompanied by a mischievous grin.
With this idea in mind, Celestia called out to the two in front. "I've just remembered something terribly important, girls."
Luna expectantly turned back and frowned. "Like what?"
"The council has been asking about Lulu, I just remembered I need to tell them where she's going. As a precaution. You know how they admire their rules and lists," Celestia chuckled through a lie. "Don't worry, I'll be back in time to see you off. Go on ahead without me."
Lulu tugged at Luna's wing. "She said it's OK. C'mon."
The blue alicorn twisted her mouth into a half smile, half worried expression, eventually letting her friend lead her away. "See you soon, Tia. Don't be late," she said and waved a temporary goodbye.
Celestia waved back and trotted back into the castle, towards her office and personal study.
***
The alabaster princess pushed the doors to her office open wide. "Hello Philomena. Would you be a dear and find that book about ''travel'' for me? The one I was reading before?"
The majestic phoenix, while not appreciating having her jimmies rustled from the sudden awakening, quickly flapped upwards to find the book her owner was talking about. She carried it down swiftly and flapped back to her roost, where she tucked her head under one wing and fell back asleep.
Celestia flicked through the tome and grinned again. "Oh yes... This will be fun indeed," she chuckled.
Sorry about the tediousness of this chapter. I just honestly didn't know what to write about, but plans were formed, stuff was scrapped, and now we have Tia being ridiculous. *Winky face*
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Ten - Welcome To Ponyville
The ponies of Ponyville gathered in a semi-circle around the train station. Party balloons hovered above their heads as a pink pony zipped about planting further decorations.
Twilight had spread the word rather quickly that the princess was visiting. The Apple family members had set up stalls and put on uniforms on and gone ''all official like'' for the princess's arrival, and Fluttershy had assembled a choir of birds to sing for her.
"Good, good. Everything looks good," she mumbled and ran a hoof through her mane. She was visibly on edge, everypony could tell. "Everything has to be perfect, we don't want the princess thinking we're just a group of ponies living out in the sticks, now do we?" she chuckled nervously.
Applejack rested a hoof on her friend's shoulder. "Take it easy, Twi. She won't think that, an' if she does, what then? We'll just go on back to our work and lives."
Twilight's eyes flickered around and spotted a speck, no more than the current shape of her pinprick pupil at the moment, of dust on the train platform in front of her. She immediately dropped and began scrubbing it off with part of Applejack's uniform.
The earth pony grunted in annoyance as she tugged at her clothes and forced Twilight to take a breath and sit down. "Sugarcube. You're actin' all weird for nothin'. Calm down."
"I know, Applejack, it's just... she's got a friend coming too," the unicorn whispered. "From... somewhere else."
The farmer's eyes narrowed. "Whaddaya mean, ''somewhere else''?"
"Heh... not... Equestria," Twilight whispered, her lips curling up into a mad, science induced grin.
AJ rolled her eyes. "So you mean like a griffon or somethin'? Like Gilda?"
"Noooo. Not... quite like Gilda." Twilight dropped her grin. "She's, um... human."
The orange pony blinked. "Beg pardon?"
"Human."
More clueless blinks.
"Human. Biped, live on-" Twilight continued, before she was interrupted.
"Live on Earth, also known as Sol three. Humans are bipedal, as in walk on two legs, they are very scientifically advanced and much of our own technology was designed from human technology."
Applejack and Twilight turned to see the newcomer. "Oh... hi, Lyra," the latter mumbled.
Lyra Heartstrings took a small bow. "Hello, Twilight, hello Applejack. Talking about humans, are we? Whatcha wanna know?" she giggled.
To the ponies of Ponyville, Lyra was the local ''nut''. Screw Loose came close, but Lyra was... Lyra. Mildly obsessed with humans and convinced everything they did was worthy of being called godlike. Needless to say, her ''human sense'' was a-tingling as soon as Twilight finished reading her letter from the princess.
"Whatcha wanna know?" she repeated with a gleam in her eyes.
AJ scratched her head. "Uh, what is there to know?"
Lyra opened her mouth in a wide grin. "Wellllll, there's this-"
"Ha, ha, that's great and all, Lyra, but I can see the train coming," Twilight interrupted, and pointed down the tracks to the fast approaching train. The two ponies with her turned to look at her and stifle giggles at her stressed out mane and wide eyes. "And that means the princess is here, so we all have to go get ready. Your... knowledge... will have to wait, Lyra," she apologetically told the lyre player.
"Yeah, sure. Sorry, Twilight. I gotta go get Bonnie. Big day today. Talk to you soon," Lyra merrily said and trotted away.
Twilight grumbled something under her breath, making Applejack's ears prick up. "Sugarcube? Anythin' the matter?"
"Fine," the lavender mare snapped.
AJ frowned. "It doesn't sound fine." She turned her gaze and saw Lyra laughing and talking with Bon Bon some ways away from them. She turned back to Twilight, noting the dilating of pupils and short breaths. "Twilight... do you... not like Lyra?"
Twilight shook her head. "No, no, of course not. It's just... how does she know so much about humans? There's little to no information about them in either the library here, or in the Canterlot Archives. It just... how does she know so much?" she whispered, her words laced with contempt and jealousy.
The farm pony chuckled and draped a hoof around her friend's neck. "Ah guess somethings you just can't explain. Like Pinkie Sense. Nothin' ta go about bein' jealous for."
"I guess so."
Fluttershy's bird chorus started up as the train pulled into the station.
Twilight straightened up as Applejack went to join her family.
Pinkie Pie sat with a huge smile on her face.
Rarity bobbed her mane and dashed about, making sure she looked absolutely spiffing. The gems on her new dress sparkled in the morning sun.
Rainbow Dash flexed her wings, just in case the princess asked for a sonic rainboom.
Lyra stood beside her fillyfriend Bon Bon, grinning from ear to ear. Bon Bon looked less enthusiastic, but still held a smile for the sake of royalty.
The crowd held their breath as the train's brakes screeched to a halt. They all craned their necks towards the caboose as the carriage doors opened.
***
A few hours earlier.
Lulu and Luna stood anxiously in the luxurious throne room waiting for the latter's sister to bid them farewell.
"Where is she?" grumbled Luna.
Lulu didn't hear her. She was too busy gazing out the window and trying not to laugh with excitement.
Several of the servants bustled past, dusting this and brushing that. One of them accidentally waved his duster in front of Luna's nose, making her snort, and then making himself almost dampen his uniform with fear.
"So, so sorry, princess, I didn't see you there. I am not worthy of serving your illustriousness. Forgive me," he wailed.
The Night Princess waved a hoof. "It's fine," she muttered, peering over his head. She glanced down at his whine and looked upon his horrified expression. "Oh, right. You are forgiven. It is no bother at all, I assure you."
He scurried away in shame.
Luna snorted and turned to her friend.
Lulu's raised eyebrows marked a question to be asked.
"I forget, sometimes, that the servants look upon myself and Tia as nothing more than royalty. If we address them like we would each other, or a friend, questions tend to be raised," the princess explained.
The human nodded. "I guess -HA!" She clamped her hands over her mouth.
Luna bit her lip to keep from laughing herself. her friend's red cheeks made that very hard though.
"Sorry. I'm just so excited. Ponyville! Twilight and Applejack, and Dash and Fluttershy! I've always wanted to meet them," Lulu said as she removed her hands slowly.
The princess sidled up to her and batted her eyelashes. "Oh? Am I not good enough for you?"
Lulu's eyes widened. "No! I didn't mean it like that, you twit!" she cried, moving forwards and putting an arm on the princess's wing. "I just meant that, they're all very awesome, but you're still awesome. I'd just love to meet them, though," she hurriedly said under Luna's scrutinizing gaze.
Finally, the princess curved her lips upwards into a smile. "I know what you meant," she chuckled and leant forwards for nuzzles. "I wonder where Tia is..."
The clip-clop of hooves made them turn and look.
"Speak of the devil."
Celestia happily cantered towards them with a smile on her face. "Hello, you two. Sorry I'm late."
Luna pulled away from Lulu and glared at her sister. "Hmmph. We thought you'd never show up," she retorted.
"She doesn't mean that, princess!" Lulu quickly put in, waving away Luna and starting up a sweat.
Celestia just grinned. "I know. I almost didn't, why, if Philomena hadn't notified me of the time-"
"Puh-lease. That infernal bird causes nothing but trouble," Luna snarled, ruffling her wings at the mention of the phoenix. "besides, the train is here and now we are late. Come on Lulu. Before we miss our train."
Lulu cast a cautious glance at Celestia.
"She is right," the latter said. "You will be late if you wait around any longer."
The human nodded and the two set off after the younger princess. The train was just about to pull away, and the princess in question was staring out at the crowd.
Celestia nudged her and smiled warmly.
Lulu approached and put a hand on her back, also smiling. "Ready to go?"
"Yes. It's just... all these ponies have come to see us off. It's just a bit... overwHelming."
The human blinked. "Over what, sorry?"
"OverwHelming."
"Why are you saying it weird?"
Luna frowned. "Saying what weird?"
"Overwhelming. You're putting loads of emphasis on the H," Lulu replied.
The princess furrowed her brow even further. "No I'm not. That's how we've always said it, Tia and I. Tell her." She turned to her big sister. "Tell her, Tia."
Celestia grinned. "I have no idea what you are talking about, Luna. But your train is here. Time to go." She quickly ushered the girls onto the caboose with barely contained giggles. "I love you both. Take care. Make sure you don't upset Twilight too much, play less of the games and work on... yourselves. Have fun, take care, byeeeee!" she added as the train took off.
Luna and Lulu stared at one another as the crowd on the platform whooped with joy and waved them goodbye.
"Overwhelmed."
"OverwHelmed.
"Whelmed."
"WHelmed."
"Fuck it."
"Agreed. Lets find ourselves a compartment and get some sleep. This train might take a wHile."
"Oh you are kidding me."
They glared at each other for a few moments before breaking into giggles as they walked down the train to find where they'd spend the next few hours.
Their fellow passengers stared at them with open mouths as they walked past. The Princess of the Night, and a strange alien creature, on the same train as they? Madness. Yet it was happening. And the alien thing appeared to be a friend of sorts to the princess.
Lulu waved at a group of ponies as they passed in the caboose. She even flashed a smile at them, much to their fear and suspicion.
Luna turned into an empty compartment. "This one's free."
The human nodded and followed her in.
They both nestled down on a large, comfy cushion as they prepared for the journey in almost silence, save for their breathing.
The princess reached up and stroked the human's hair, smiling as she did so. The human placed a hand over the hoof and smiled back. "How long is the journey?" she asked.
"Few hours," Luna replied with a wink. "Plenty of time -if you want to that is."
"Of course I do."
"Good. Me too."
Their heads touched together in a tender gesture. And then...
"You're it."
Lulu leapt up and dove from the room, wrenching the door open and tearing down the corridor, her friend followed close behind with a wide grin on her face.. "Sorry!" she called as she knocked over the tea-mare's tray, sending cookies and tea flying.
Luna snorted and charged after her, spreading her wings as wide as she could without knocking anypony's face off. She reached out and just touched her friend's back. "Tag! You're it!"
The chase continued for most of the journey, and most of the train's passengers fled to one end to avoid the mad princess and her alien companion.
***
"Convenience!" cried Lulu as they sat, feasting on a pile of thieved cookies.
"Mmm?" asked Luna through a mouthful of biscuits.
"We're here. Doesn't time fly with transitions?" the human giggled as she stood up and dusted herself off. "Shall we?"
"Mmm," replied the princess, still with a mouth of biscuits. They picked up the empty packets and tidied up after themselves, then as the train pulled into the station, they made their way towards the exits.
Luna took a deep breath and placed a hoof on the door. "Ready?" she asked.
Lulu nodded eagerly. The fangirl inside of her was just about to explode from sheer awesomeness of meeting her favourite characters. It took most of her self restraint to stop from squeeing all over the place as the door opened, and a sea of eyes and technicolour coats met them.
A purple pony stood at the front beaming with pride. "Hello princess. Nice to see you again," she said. "I take it this is Lulu?"
Luna nodded. "Hello Twilight Sparkle-"
*Squee*
The human covered her mouth up and turned bright red.
"Uhh... yeah... hello Twilight, this is indeed Lulu. She's a very good friend of mine and she's very excited to meet you all." The princess smiled, making a few of the crowd shiver.
Twilight extended a hoof. "Hello Lulu. My name is Twilight Sparkle."
Lulu's eyes turned to dinner plates. "H-hi... " she murmured as she tenderly shook the hoof in front of her.
Suddenly, a cry went up from the crowd. "I BUCKING KNEW IT! HUMANS DO EXIST!"
Twilight facehoofed. "Oh dear..." she mumbled.
Luna frowned. "What? What is it?"
Lulu's face lit up as she spotted the speaker. A mint green unicorn with the largest smile you've ever seen.
The lavender unicorn gaped. "Lulu, this is Lyra, Lyra this is-"
"Lulu, I know. Thanks Twi! Wow a real human!" Lyra excitedly said, practically shoving the princess out the way in order to examine the human in front of her. Several of the crowd began murmuring amongst themselves.
"Humans are real?"
"Lyra was right..."
"What else is she right about, I wonder?"
Lyra Heartstrings stopped in front of Lulu and smiled again. "My name is Lyra Heartstrings, a pleasure to meet you, Human Lulu."
Lulu's eyes went wide. "Likewise." Oh gods, she really is obsessed with humans, isn't she? "Wanna see something cool?" she chuckled, and raised a hand.
The green pony gasped as she grabbed the outstretched hand and began inspecting all the joints in and around it. "Humans are so cool!" she giggled. "We have to hang out more."
"Well, I think Luna wants us to get settled in first. Get started on our friendship lessons and all that." Lulu flexed her hand as the pony released it.
A cream coloured mare coughed nervously. "Uh... Lyra? We need to go, like, now."
Lyra sighed. "Sure Bonnie. Nice meeting you, Lulu." As she hopped towards her fillyfriend she couldn't help but giggle. "A real human! Real! I told you, didn't I say so?"
"Yes, Lyra, you did."
The two mares trotted away as the crowd began to disperse. A few remained, however.
A white unicorn, a yellow pegasus, a blue pegasus, a pink earth pony and an orange earth pony. You know who they are. Lulu did too, and nearly fainted as they all approached.
Luna caught her with a wing and up-righted her.
"Oh my! Are you alright? Oh, we didn't scare you did we, I'm so sorry..." the yellow pegasus whimpered.
The human bounced back and swooped her up in a hug. "You don't have to be sorry, Fluttershy. It's so awesome to meet you all," she cried as she buried her face in the pink mane. She didn't notice Luna scowling at them and turn away.
Fluttershy squeaked as she wriggled in the grasp of her hugger. "Um... that's... nice. Um... please let go?"
Lulu released her and stepped back. "Right, sorry. Hi. Hi Fluttershy, I'm Lulu."
"Nice to meet you," the pegasus murmured, pawing at the ground and turning pink in the cheeks.
"Nice to meet you too."
Rarity stepped up next. "Hello, Lulu. I take it as you know Fluttershy's name as to know ours too, yes?" she asked.
Lulu nodded. "Yeah. Nice to meet you, Rarity. You really do look beautiful."
The unicorn blushed. "Well, now. I do try," she giggled as she patted her mane. "Rainbow? I take it you're next?"
The blue pegasus flapped forwards. "How is it you know all our names anyway?" she demanded. "Is it like Scootaloo following me around all the time? 'Cause that's a bit creepy. No offence, Scoots."
From a distance away from them came the very muffled cry of "None taken!"
Lulu grinned. "Oh no, nothing like that. I am a fan, though."
Rainbow Dash furrowed her brow in thought. "That's cool then. I guess. Name's Rainbow Dash." She eyed the human up a bit before continuing. "Did Lyra go all... crazy on you?" she asked, making a motion with her hoof and spinning her eyes around like Derpy.
"A bit. But nothing as bad as in the fanfics."
Applejack strode up next and tipped her hat. "Howdy partner. Ah reckon ya'll know everypony else's name, includin' mine, so ah won't bother with that. How do ya do, Lulu?"
Lulu chuckled at the small rhyme, whether it was intentional or not. "No "Ya'll" don't need to, Applejack." They shook hoof and hand with smiles and friendly gestures.
"How much do ya reckon a human can hold her cider?" ventured the farm pony.
Luna and Lulu glanced at one another and grinned. "Well... we sort of... we've been mostly drunk since I've been in Equestria."
The ponies gaped.
The princess coughed and turned her head slightly. "It's allowed for a princess to indulge herself every now and then. And if she has guests, then even more so," she added with a little grin.
The human extended her arm around the princess and beamed. "And I enjoyed every moment of it."
Twilight watched as they gazed into each other's eyes and slowly put the pieces together. "Princess... are you and Lulu... dating?" she asked quietly.
Luna nodded.
Rarity collapsed.
Rainbow Dash stopped flying and stood with an open jaw next to Applejack.
Fluttershy turned bright pink in the cheeks.
Applejack tipped her hat and whistled. "Whew... my, my, princess. Ah never had you fer a filly fooler," she murmured.
Luna nodded. "It is true. A mare has always seemed more appealing than a stallion to me. Anyway, if there are no more of your friends, Twilight Sparkle, should we not move to this library? We have some things we'd like to unpack."
Twilight looked around. "Where's Pinkie? I'm sure she'd love to meet you, Lulu."
"And I'd like to meet her. Where is the little party animal?" Lulu laughed. "Actually, she's probably setting up a party for me somewhere, right?"
They thought for a moment.
"Yeah."
The girls broke into a chorus of laughter and giggles as they trotted off towards Twilight's home. Twilight pushed the door open and was immediately greeted by a large, happy and very excited pink face.
"SURPRIIIIISE!" she yelled, knocking over the purple unicorn with the sheer volume of her cheer. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie and I threw this party-"
"Just for me," finished Lulu. "Hiya Pinkie Pie! I'm Lulu."
Pinkie gasped. "How did you know what I was gonna say? Can humans read minds? Oh oh! What am I thinking now?" SHe stuck her tongue out and forced strain onto her face.
Lulu tapped her chin, humouring the pink one for a moment. "You are thinking... about cupcakes... and parties."
"Well duh! Hehehe, what else do I think about silly?" Pinkie giggled. She suddenly smacked her forehead and reached around. "Tadaaa!" she cried as she pulled a large, musical looking device out from nowhere and began to play.
♫ Welcome, welcome, welcome
A fine welcome to you!
Welcome, welcome, welcome
I say how do you do?
Welcome, welcome, welcome
I say hip hip hooray!
Welcome, welcome, welcome
To Po-ny-ville todaaaaay! ♫
Lulu laughed and gave a small applause. "Oh I've wanted one of those for a long time. Wasn't that nice, Luna?"
"Quite." Luna smiled as she tipped her head towards the earth pony.
Pinkie gasped again. "Ohmygosh! I totally didn't notice you there, princess! One second." She took another deep breath and began to sing again.
♫ Welcome, welcome, wel- ♫
"That's great, Pinkie, but we've really got to get their cases unpacked," interrupted Twilight before another song could spontaneously appear.
"Oh them? I already did that. Boooring."
They all stared at her. Luna leant over to Applejack and whispered, "How did she do that?"
"Don't ask," Rainbow responded.
Lulu shrugged too. "It's Pinkie Pie. You don't gotta explain shit."
Luna thought for a moment before agreeing. "Very well. Shall we, then?"
Pinkie moved aside to let them all in. Spike greeted them in the living room as they wandered forwards. "Hey guys." When he spotted the princess and her friend he immediately shot up and grovelled on the floor. "Hi Nightm- uhh, Princess Luna."
She waved a hoof and silenced his pleas of forgiveness.
Twilight chuckled nervously and placed a hoof on his head, scuffling his spines a bit. "Oh, you know Spike, princess. He's just a bit sleepy today. he doesn't really know what he's talking about."
Spike scowled and waved her away. His lizard eye fell upon Lulu and widened in fear. "T-Twilight! There's an alien in the house!" he yelped, and dove behind the unicorn.
Lulu giggled again and hunkered down. "Hey Spike. I'm an alien, yeah, but I'm nice. Trust me."
The baby dragon peeked out from behind Twilight's leg and eyed up the human. He glanced upwards at his hiding spot's face.
"She's fine, honestly Spike."
He gingerly stepped away from her and blushed. "Sorry. So what are you, exactly?"
"Human. Born and raised on Earth. Spelt ear-th."
Luna suddenly felt her eyelids droop as she looked out the window at the setting sun. "I must say... I am suddenly... *yawn* very... tired."
Twilight jumped up. "Oh my! Yes, of course, princess. Follow me and I'll show you your room." She darted up the stairs, practically dragging the princess behind her. "You can sleep in my bed. Both of you, if you want," she added quietly.
"That could be acceptable." The princess yawned again and smiled at her hostess. "Tell Lulu I've gone to bed early. See you in the morning, Twilight Sparkle. Send Lulu to bed soon, will you?"
"I will. See you in the morning, princess," Twilight replied and closed the door. She heard the snores almost immediately, and couldn't help but begin giggling softly as she made her way downstairs. "This should be fun. With Luna asleep I should be able to ask Lulu most of my questions about Earth, or how she came here in the first place."
Downstairs, Lulu was chatting to Spike about something. They hushed up as soon as Twilight entered the room, however. "Hello you two. Where is everypony?"
"They had to go home. It is getting quite late, you know Twilight," Spike replied. He cracked his back and stifled a yawn. "Anyway, I'm pretty beat too. See you soon, Lulu," he said as he began to ascend the stairs to his basket.
Twilight grabbed him with her magic. "Sorry Spike, that's Lulu and the princess's room tonight. We're sleeping down here."
Lulu yawned as well. "Actually, I'm tired too. Bedroom's just at the top of the stairs, right?" she asked.
Shoot, thought Twilight. Ah well. Questions can always be asked later. "Yes. Have a good night's sleep."
They parted ways. The human's footfalls made clunking sounds as she ascended to her bedroom and crawled into bed next to the princess. "I think I'm gonna love it here," she whispered as one of Luna's wings extended around her.
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Eleven - This Goes To Eleven
The sun was just barely glimpsing the horizon when the birds started to sing. The grass and the trees swayed gently in the breeze, as a few rogue clouds from the Everfree forest drifted over the still mostly sleeping town. Mostly sleeping, due to one particular, disgruntled, purple unicorn.
Twilight Sparkle, formerly the Ponyville librarian, now a princess (still Equestria's top bookworm), had grown accustomed to being awake early as to be immediately ready in case of disaster or otherwise emergency. She had not, however, grown accustomed to or even suspected that she'd be listening to her two royal guests... frolic all night in the room above hers. Approximately a year and a half had passed since they had come. Also unfortunately, she realised the walls and floors of the Ponyville library, now known as the Great Library, are made of paper disguised as wood.
She watched the space above her with wide eyes. Wide, oh so tired eyes. "How can anypony do something like that for so long?" she mumbled and blinked slowly.
From up above she heard muffled voices, apparently arguing, then silence.
"Jeez now they whisper?" Twilight muttered and turned over. "At least it's quiet now and I might be able to get some sle-"
The door burst open with a very loud bang, startling the princess and completely removing any notion of sleep.
Princess Luna, one of her guests. "Princess of Equestria, Queen of the Night. Nightmare Moon. Sister of Celestia." thought Twilight, bitterly, "and she's staying in my house ruining my sleep." She pondered for a moment as Luna made her way towards her. "Wow. Spike was right. Maybe I am a bit grumpy when I'm tired." She flexed her wings and smiled at the princess before her. "Hello Princess Lu-" she started.
"Morning Princess Sparkle," Luna grunted. She looked over her shoulder and bit her lip. "Okay, she's not coming down just yet. Good." She fixed Twilight with a stare. "Miss Sparkle. I require a favour from you."
"Anything if I can get some sleep."
"Lulu and I have had a... disagreement of sorts." Twilight spotted the princess's lip trembled and pushed all thoughts of sleep away. Luna regained her composure and continued. "So I am going to..." She struggled for words. "Go for a... walk... let's say," she finished, guiltily.
Twilight Sparkle frowned. "But p-princess, uh... Luna," she sputtered. They were equals now technically. "Surely if something's bothering you, you should both talk-"
"No!" Luna shouted, startling Twilight with the sudden raise in volume. "No," she repeated. "I just need... a walk. Can you... cover for me?" she asked. Her eyes pleaded with Twilight.
The purple alicorn sighed. "Princess, this goes against my better judgement, friends -and girlfriends-" she lectured, "should talk about they're problems, not run away from them..." she bit her lip, "but alright. I'll cover for you. But will you promise you'll be back soon?"
Luna nodded. "Oh yes, course. Thank you Twilight." She grabbed Twilight's hoof and shook it vigorously. "Alright, see you soon." She spread her magnificent wings, opened the window with her magic, and braced herself.
Twilight whispered as she left. "Back soon, please."
The Princess of the Night held back the tears and nodded in response to the Princess of Friendship. "I know," she whispered back as she galloped forwards and soared into the dawning sky.
Twilight shook her head and glanced towards the door. She could hear footsteps approaching. Then the human rounded the corner, took one look at the open window, Twilight's bewildered expression, and sank to her knees. "She's gone isn't she?" she mumbled.
The alicorn rushed out of bed and comforted the two legged, pinkish skinned girl sitting in her doorway. "Umm..." She thought for a moment. "...Yes, but-"
Lulu, also known as Luna, burst into tears and started sobbing uncontrollably, interrupting Twilight for the third time this morning.
"Ohh no, no, no Lulu!" Twilight cried as she embraced the crying human. "She's coming back, she promised. That's alright isn't it?" she said, and offered a hoof to help her up.
Lulu gazed up at the alicorn and nodded. She rubbed her eyes and fought to keep her lip from quivering. "S-sorry," she mumbled, "sorry T-twilight..." She sniffed and took the friend's hoof in her hand. She watched as her four fingers and one thumb wrapped around the diminutive (by human standards) purple hoof. "Sorry," she repeated herself. "It's just..." she trailed off.
"It's alright Lulu. Why don't we get some breakfast and you tell me what's happened?" The princess offered with a smile."
The human nodded. "Sure."
"Come on then. Oh." The princess paused. "Spike, could you-" She looked down at the little dragon, her oldest friend and closest companion. Still fast asleep in his bed, oblivious and dead to the world.
"Hnnn... Rarity..." he mumbled softly.
Twilight grinned at Lulu, who grinned back. "Let's just let him sleep," she said.
Lulu forced a smile, feeling the tears coming back. "Yeah."
***
After some hot chocolate, some toast soldiers (during which Lulu was overcome with bewilderment that the My Little Pony universe actually had toast soldiers she forgot how to breathe) and lots of talking, the princess finally understood what had happened.
"So what happened was you were feeling homesick, right?" Twilight asked, perched on the edge of her chair.
"Yes," Lulu confirmed, also perched.
"And you said you maybe wanted to have visited Earth and seen your sister, Celeste, right?"
"Yes."
"And Luna kinda went crazy and thought you wanted to leave for good?"
"...Yeah. We argued after that."
Twilight Sparkle shook her head and placed both hooves on the table. "Surely the princess realises that this is just a mistake and she's, I don't want to sound mean or anything here," she clarified, "that she's overreacting right?"
Lulu shrugged. "I really don't know. I mean, a thousand years of solitude and then suddenly she gets a friend, me, and we have a thing." She sighed and missed Twilight narrowing her eyes. "I guess it would be difficult for anyone, or anypony should I say? To have rejection issues" She sipped her hot chocolate and bit down on some toast.
The Princess of Friendship opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted a fourth time this morning by a drowsy Spike. Both pony and human smiled at him, glancing at each other, agreeing to keep this from anybody, dragon or pony, just them.
"Morning... ahhh... Twilight," the dragon yawned and rubbed his lizard green eyes. "Morning Lulu." He smiled at the human, clearly having grown used to having a human at the breakfast table. He looked around in a confused way and frowned. "Where's Princess Luna?" he asked carefully. "Is she still asleep?"
Twilight said, "No Spike, she's gone out for a walk. Said she needs to make sure..." She fumbled for words until Lulu came to her rescue.
"She said Celestia quickly needed her back at the palace for something. She'll be back soon, don't worry." She gave an encouraging smile to the library assistant. "I almost believe that," she thought to herself and felt the sadness creeping up on her.
"Oh." Spike shrugged. "Alright. Did you have a good sleep?" he asked politely.
"Oh yeah," Lulu replied. "Want some soldiers?"
"Sure. What are soldiers?"
Thus began the explanation of toast soldiers from a human to a dragon, possibly one of the strangest conversations (and sentences) known to mankind, equinekind, and dragonkind.
Twilight flexed her wings and noticed they needed preening. "Sorry guys, I have to go to Fluttershy's now," she said, embarrassedly, "I still haven't really got the flexibility to clean these myself." She giggled. "Spike can you watch the library while I'm gone?"
He nodded, mouth full of toast and egg. "Mmmhmm."
"Good. Lulu would you like to come with me?" She offered.
Lulu, a bit surprised by this, nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yeah! That'd be great Twi." She smiled, her first genuine smile fr hours. "I'd like that."
The princess smiled back. "I thought you would." She stood up and opened the door, waited for Lulu to finish her drink. Three quick gulps later, the human was ready. "Let's go then. See you later Spike," she said as she trotted away.
"See you soon Spike," Lulu called as she followed her friend.
"Mmhmm!" Spike mumbled after them, waving as he did so, quickly stealing the unguarded leftover toast soldiers.
"Such is life in the pony world," Lulu thought to herself as they set off towards the Everfree Forest.
Author's Note
To clarify.
One: I will keep updating this. Probably not immediately but I don't know when cos of life and such and whenever I get a new idea for a chapter (I've dug myself into a hole and don't particularly want to do another retcon, but if push comes to shove then we'll see). Thank you erryone who stayed and the positiveness of all the comments and supports of the peoples. Vive la peoples!
Two: Equestria Girls never happened in this universe, else a lot wouldn't make much sense in this story.
Three: I know this was a more serious chapter and more Harmful Shenanigans than Harmless, but I feel it's necessary to get out of this hole. More funny stuff on the way. Probably.
Four: Finished around 4am. Because you're worth it.
Five: Oh, no updates this week, I'm on holiday with the beautiful, amazing girl of my dreams.
Any more questions, post in comments. See you soon.
~Bigwig.
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Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Twelve - The Fiendishly Fiendish and Cunning Plan
Celestia grumpily sighed. Yet again, her sister had caused unnecessary problems for herself. This generally put a hold on all Celestia's affairs because she was a nice, kind sister, who loved her sibling and wished to help. Hence why she currently felt extremely sour at 3:15AM, having been told by the head butler that her sister had smashed several windows, yelled (in the Royal Voice) abuse at another servant, and generally causing a nuisance of herself in her rec room.
"Thank you Pennyworth," she told the old pony. "I'll go see her now."
Mr Pennyworth. A tall, pale grey stallion with narrow eyes and a receding hairline, as well as a marvellous thin, black moustache nodded. "Certainly ma'am," he said, and bowed politely. "Will that be all, ma'am?"
"Yes, thank you Pennyworth." She smiled at him as he bowed again and trotted away. "Now I need to get ready," she muttered to herself as her smile faded. She turned back and levitated a comb over to herself, and began to brush her mane. "Just one thing after another with you isn't it, Luna?" She sighed again and rolled her eyes and quietly tidied herself up before setting off to confront her sister.
***
Celestia inwardly groaned. Quite a crowd had gathered in a certain corridor, outside a certain room, containing a certain princess. Suddenly, an idea formed in her head. It was a cool, mischievous idea. It was a cunning plan. "Pennyworth?" she whispered to her butler.
Pennyworth inclined his head. "Ma'am?"
"Have a message sent to Twilight Sparkle in Ponyville. I've got a little plan..."
***
Lulu was worried. Luna had been gone for a good few hours this time. "I think she's getting worse you know," she said to Spike as he poured her a cup of coffee. "She should be back by now anyway..."
Spike shrugged "Well, maybe she's just thinking things over really hard this time?" he suggested, "Besides, you said you think she goes to Canterlot right?"
Lulu nodded and sipped her coffee.
"Well then Celestia should be able to handle it right?"
She nodded again. "I guess. I still feel really bad though." She grimaced "It is kinda my fault she's like this-" At that moment, Twilight burst into existence, scaring the living daylights out of the human, still not totally familiar with magic. Being only human that is. Magic ponies are easy to adjust to. It's just ponies that talk, can fly and do magic. Magic itself on the other hand? Not so much. "Yeezus, Twilight," Lulu exclaimed, clutching at her heart. "Warn me next time you do that!"
Twilight looked at her apologetically. "Sorry Lulu, but I've just received some important news!" she said excitedly. "I think I've found a way you back home!"
Lulu set her coffee down and nodded. "Mhm," she mumbled non-committedly. Her thoughts immediately filled of her sister, Celeste (yes she's still in this story. "Go on, but limit the science speak please."
Twilight cleared her throat, before realising what Lulu had actually said. "Oh... alright then. It involves accessing Princess Luna's personal computer." She smiled. "We're just going to put you back the way you came, from what you've told me, it started with this... website."
Lulu nodded again. "Yeah. Some... eh, dating website or some such. Weird."
"Weird is right," said Spike as he munched on some jewels.
The princess of friendship nodded. "Yeah, kinda weird but mostly exciting don't you think?" She beamed at her human friend. "In fact... I could even go with you... just for a look?" she mumbled coyly.
Lulu chuckled. "Maybe. It's up to you. I'm not sure how 'normal' humans would react to talking, magical, flying ponies." This thought actually worried her slightly as she eyed over the purple pony. What if some government types show up to take her away and almost kill her, a la E.T style? She stood up and stretched. "Sure, alright. Let's go home."
Twilight whooped with joy. "Oh yay! I'll get to try out all my new monitoring equipment. Spike, why don't you take Lulu to Rarity's and get her some new clothes? I've got one little thing to take care of here then I'll meet you at the train station in a few minutes." She looked down at the dragon, who nodded and saluted.
"Your wish is my command, princess. Come on Lulu."
Lulu gestured with her hand. "Lead on brave knight," she giggled. "See you soon, Twilight."
Twilight smiled as the two left. Then immediately dropped to the floor. "Oh my," she grumbled. "Who knew that..." She wondered for a moment. "Telling not-truth would be so difficult?" She covered her eyes with her hoof and took a deep breath. "I hope you know what you're doing, Celestia."
The not-truth in which Twilight Sparkle spoke of, was in fact a fiendishly fiendish plan concocted by chiefest of mischief-makers in all of Equestria...
Pause for dramatic effect.
Princess Celestia.
Yes the white devil had had enough. The time had come for greatest of tricky situations: an arguing couple to talk and resolve their differences peacefully. Via forced imprisonment if need be. Celestia's tricky like that.
Twilight Sparkle stood up and dusted herself off. She levitated a quill and some parchment over to her and began a brief letter to Celestia.
"She's on her way."
***
Luna sat in her rec room gazing into her own reflection. She sighed and dragged another bottle over to her. She wasn't even thirsty but she needed something to help her in this moment. A knock came at the door and she slowly turned her head to see her sister standing there. "Oh. Hello," she mumbled.
Celestia sighed. "I hate seeing you like this you know," she said. "And drinking won't help at all." She moved to her sister and put a comforting wing around her. "Will it?"
Princess Luna grumbled. "Grumble grumble. It might," she bitterly replied. "Why are you here, Celestia?"
Princess Celestia turned her sister's head with a hoof. She felt sad at seeing her sister so down and depressed, her eyes red with large tired lines under them. "Because I worry about you." Luna turned away. "I mean it, Luna. You're my baby sister and I love you, but you are so stupid sometimes."
Luna flinched. "Don't call me stupid, Princess." She warned.
The elder sister smiled. "I'll call you what I want when you're in my house, Lu. Now, put the bottle down and come on." She stroked her sister's back with a comforting hoof. "Come on. For me?"
The younger of the two sighed and reluctantly put the bottle down. "Sure okay. But what do you really want, Celestia?" She asked. "You can't have come all the way down here at 3 in the morning just to call me stupid... right?"
Celestia laughed. "No you silly filly. I've got something I want to show you."
Luna's eyes narrowed. "What kind of something?" she queried. "Any surprise from you tends to be bad. No offense."
"None taken. It's a special something just for you. Now follow me." Celestia turned and started walking out the door, casting a backwards glance at her sister, still sitting on her bar stool in her lonely room. "Trust me, Luna." Her voice sounded like a mother's reassuring her child. As she left the room and rounded the corner, she heard the rapid movement of hooves on a hard floor. She extended a wing and felt her sister nuzzle underneath. "You want to hide?"
Luna nodded, suddenly aware that she was still a princess of Equestria, regardless of how she was emotionally, and certainly did not look the part. "At least until we get upstairs."
Celestia chuckled. "Of course. The surprise is in your room anyway. Come on."
As they started walking, her thoughts turned to that of her nice, warm bed, herself snuggled up to Mr Fuzzles (her stuffed bear. Because everyone/pony has a stuffed bear), and the mischievous plan of hers which her former student must have helped put into action by now. "All will be made clear soon, sister."
She grinned a most mischievous grin, hidden from her sister. "Oh I really shouldn't grin so much," she thought. "But then, this will be fun. For a time."
Author's Note
Credits and high praise go to Sir Everbolt for coming up with the idea for this chapter and getting out of this hole
P.S. I know it's a lot more serious at the moment, but the next few chapters should be funnier. Or who knows I might actually take it in a fairly serious direction. After another 2 years delay haha.
No srsly I mean to update this, been getting back into writing past few months so yous might see new content soon.
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
"Well this is nice." Celestia said as she sipped her tea as she looked at both her guests.
In one of the royal tearooms, Lulu, also known as Luna, human extraordinaire, sat at one end of a long table, Princess Luna, formerly Nightmare Moon, existential terror extraordinaire, on the other. The tension was heavy and the silence was loud , save for the occasional sip of tea from the White One.
Luna's eye twitched. "Do you. Have. To do that so loudly, Celestia?" she snarled through clenched teeth. "It's annoying me."
"Exactly, Luna." Celestia smiled coyly and continued to sip. She smacked her lips together and let out a satisfied sigh as she gently set down her teacup. Lulu grimaced as she watched, and waited for Mount Luna to erupt. She braced herself for it as Luna started to open her mouth.
Suddenly,
BANG
The plates and cutlery shook. The table's legs buckled and quavered but held fast. This was not the first royal spat they had suffered. Nor shall it be the last.
Celestia slammed her front hooves down on the table, her demeanour suddenly becoming something akin to a god of war. Her eyes blazed with the fire of the sun itself as she glowered at the pair of them. "I am getting, sick , of this arguing you two."
Luna turned as white as a dark blue pony could. She started to stammer something out but Celestia simply held a hoof up and silence fell once more.
"You are friends ," Celestia continued, now fixing her gaze on Lulu, who squirmed uncomfortably under that piercing, fiery gaze. "More than that, you are, or at least were , romantically involved with each other. You should be ashamed of yourselves for behaving in such a way to one other."
Lulu and Luna's eyes met for the first time since entering the tearoom. They shared a look of pain, and worry. And slight terror.
Celestia noticed the look and softened her face. "Look, you two, I know how it feels to have an argument with someone you love. Believe me, I've been there."
Human and pony both blushed at this. Celestia rolled her eyes. "Oh come on guys, I'm not doing all the talking for you." She stood up and made for the door. "I am going to leave this room now, I will lock the door behind me -I've already locked the windows Luna stop eyeing them up. I've locked the door and will not unlock it until you have both made up and talked to each other." She raised her eyebrows at them both. "I'll come back in 30 minutes, deal?"
Slowly, their gaze met again. "Deal," they said in unison.
Celestia smiled softly. "Progress. See you soon. Behave." The door closed behind her. The lock clicked, and they both heard her hooves moving away from the door.
"She's right you know," mumbled Lulu, sheepishly. "We can't keep arguing."
"I know," Luna said quietly. "I don't want to..."
Silence fell, and the tension grew again. Lulu looked at Luna and Luna looked at Lulu. They both stood up. They both moved around the table, until they were a hairs length away from each other. Lulu could smell Luna's breath. "Hay" she thought and smiled.
Luna could smell Lulu's breath. "Mint," she thought and twisted her nose.
As they looked at each other they started to smile. Lulu put her arms around Luna's neck and gave her a hug. Luna folded her wings around her human and they stood in a silent embrace for a moment. "Okay," Luna said, as she unfurled her wings and took a step back. She gestured to the table and wiggled her eyebrows.
Lulu giggled. "Maybe later, we do really need to talk about this though."
Luna's shoulders fell. "Yeah... I understand. You want to leave." She said, rather coldly.
The human winced. "Not forever, I just want to see my sister and let her know I'm okay. I've been here how long? I've lost count of the days/weeks/months and whatevers." She stood her ground and folded her arms. "I understand you were alone for a long time, but you're not now. I will come back."
The princess snorted. "Everyone leaves."
Lulu felt a great sadness in her voice. "Luna, please. I want to go home for a bit, a bit I will come back I promise. I don't even know how to go back, I got sucked off though a magic portal that came from a computer, that was linked somehow to a dating website," she exasperatedly said, "once we figure out the logistics of that, we could go back and forth. You could come with me even..." she mumbled.
Luna's ears pricked up. "Come with you? And abandon my royal duties?" She furrowed her brow. "Celestia would have to do everything. or pawn it off on Twilight Sparkle or Princess Cadence..." She paused in thought. "I suppose that would not be so disagreeable."
Lulu sighed, at least they weren't arguing about it anymore. But where to go now? "Do you still have your computer?" She asked.
"No. It got... damaged." Luna turned away and grimaced. "We could study some of the arcane books my sister has in her library instead, Twilight is exceptionally gifted with magic, I'm sure she would relish the chance for such a project."
"I mean." Lulu scratched her head. "Magic's new to me, even after this time. You realise Earth, the Earth I'm from, has none of this right?" She gestured to the room. "Sure we have castles, and stories of magic, but they're just stories. Fiction. There might not be any books on how to open portals there." She paused. "Actually there probably is some occult nutter who tries to summon demons every Saturday. They also don't have magical talking ponies, unicorns, pegasi or any mythical creatures."
Luna snorted again. "What a dreadfully boring place. No magic, no ponies, What do you do all day?"
Lulu grinned. "Well actually, I watched My Little Pony a lot. And played video games."
The princess grinned back. "That's alright. Still, I suppose I would have to conceal myself somehow then? I would not want to become a science experiment."
They both grimaced at the thought of this. "You have a point, sweetie," Lulu said quietly. "We need some help with this I think."
Luna nodded in agreement. She turned her gaze towards the window. The sun was beginning to set. "I need to perform my royal duties," she said. "You should get some sleep, we'll start looking for a way to take you home tomorrow."
Lulu couldn't help but worry as she started to leave. "Yeah okay. Don't go overboard tonight will you?"
"No promises." The princess smiled softly. "Good night Lulu." She unfurled her wings and gracefully rose into the air, a silver light emanating from her crest until it enveloped her, then she was gone. Only a cold breeze was left as the moon began to rise.
"Good night Luna," said Lulu as she left the room and started down the hallway.
***
What is love? Some would say a force so powerful that all reason becomes blind to it. Blind to all things... even the truth. Loss of love can make someone desperate... desperate enough to do anything to bury the truth, to hide from its pain.
Luna thought so, in her melancholic state. She knew if she lost Lulu how easy it would be to slip into the Nightmare again. When she returned, she vowed that would never happen again, no matter what. And yet she couldn't help but think about it as she travelled the Dreamscape.
The Dreamscape. Dreamspace. The world between worlds, of dreams and nightmares. Her own realm of Oblivion. From here, Luna could see all of Equestria's sleeping inhabitants, their dreams and their nightmares. A somewhat empty void of night sky and stars, with the moon shining high above at the very centre. Pictures as if a screen floated by every now and then. Windows to a pony's sleep state, doors to some. One such door was currently open.
She shook her head in an effort to quell some bad memories of her own nightmares as she entered a nearby pony's dream. This mare was afraid she was late for school, even though she hadn't been in school for close to eight years now. "Strange what some ponies dream about" , Luna thought as she watched the mare run back and forth, clearly in distress. She lowered her horn and cast a quiet spell over the pony, assuming control over the dream and soothing her frayed nerves.
The princess smiled as the mare's dream became one about muffins and pink fluffy clouds. She chuckled to herself as she moved on.
"Overboard... Me? Ha."
Her thoughts turned to Ponyville, and the Everfree forest nearby. And the ruined castle. Her staging ground as Nightmare Moon. Twice. She shook her head again. "Ugh. Why am I thinking about that?" she lamented to herself. "Have I nothing better to do than revisit old memories? Am I that worried Lulu will never come back?" She paused and frowned. "Of course I'm not, I know she'll come back, and even if we find a way to take her home... I could go with her..."
The princess stopped mid-flight. Moonlight gleaming through the starry sky. She looked upwards.
"Lulu called me sweetie..."
She started to laugh. A long, sorrowful yet happy at the same time laugh. Thank goodness she was in her own realm, or else somepony might think she'd gone quite mad. She rubbed a tear from her eye. "Oh I have been such a fool haven't I, old friend?" she asked the moon, an everlasting companion if there ever was one. "Such a fool. An idiot."
Her wings flourished and bristled as she brushed her mane out her eyes. "I must make amends with her. With my sweetie." She smiled softly. "Once I am finished here I shall absolutely start looking for a book on arcane magics. Surely somepony somewhere must have one..." She trailed off, deep in thought.
She recalled strolling through Canterlot months ago, coming across an old bookshop, and an even older pony who ran it. Most of the tomes inside were nothing more than the average book but there was one, she remembered, with gold and silver embroidery on the binding and a symbol of some lost deity on the cover. It struck her as odd, that such a fine book would surely be more welcomed in the royal library, or even in Twilight Sparkle's study, than some dusty old shop. If only she could remember the name of said shop...
"Nevermind, I shall dispatch a servant or two to acquire it, at any price," she resolved to herself. She made a mental note to remember it in the morning. "After all, what's the point in being royalty if you cannot send servants to do your bidding every once in a while?"
The princess of night laughed as she flew off into the Dreamscape once more, in a considerably better mood than earlier.
Author's Note
Hey guys and gals. Been a while hasn't it? Finally got my life sorted out and with being stuck inside for a while due to current affairs of the world I'm gonna try and keep this going cos I've got some ideas I'd like to try but I'd need your input (to anyone who still reads these
I'd kinda like to see how the two Lunas (Tuna) would do with meeting more version of themselves, kinda like Into the Spider-Verse... Luna-verse? But that would involve hopping between realities, perhaps something more stationary? Maybe both?
Also I'm very out of date with the show lol but I am re-watching the whole thing so I'll get there.
Stay safe, stay inside. See you in a bit.
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Lulu couldn't sleep. She stood out on the balcony adjacent to Luna's bedroom, her feet bare against the cold ground, Rarity had been kind enough to fashion a nighty for her, on top of her regular clothing. Slippers designed for human feet, however, were a total anomaly to ponies. She didn't mind, the air was cold but not too cold. She overlooked Canterlot and the rest of Equestria, wondering where Luna was right now. Behind her, various clothes and memorabilia from anything and everything, were scattered about the room. Video games, magazines, comics, books, DVD cases, you name it, Luna had it. At least the pony version of it. Die Hard? Yep. Bruce Winny. She had also ever so lovingly scattered her stuff around her bedroom floor in a wonderfully disorganised chaotic mess.
As she gazed out at the starry sky she couldn't help but worry. About Luna. About Celeste her sister. They never got on very well but still. She missed her. "Family is family," she muttered. "And god knows what she thinks I'm doing or where I am." She twisted her face and scratched her chin. "And god knows how Luna's doing right now too... am I being selfish?" she wondered out loud.
"Of course you're not." A calm voice stated from behind. Lulu spun around quick as a flash, scared half to death of the sudden noise.
"Oh it's you Celes- uh, princess," she stammered, sighing with relief. "Sorry about the, um... mess," she mumbled as she glanced around the floor.
Celestia smiled. "Please Lulu just call me Celestia, or Tia. We're friends."
Lulu smiled sheepishly and apologised. "S-sorry."
"Oh no need to, I should apologise for startling you, and trust me." She laughed as she gestured to the mess. "I've seen worse." She winked.
Lulu felt more at ease for a brief moment, but that was quickly shattered by the princess's next words.
"But really." The White One narrowed her eyes. "Of course you're not being selfish, if anypony is, it would be Luna. She's too hot headed for her own good."
The human shook her head. "I don't think so, prin- Celestia," she said, "I think she's rightfully worried about being alone." She felt a fire inside her she hadn't felt before. Her jaw clenched. and her hands balled into fists. "I mean, you did send her to the moon for 1000 years, you should be lucky she even talks to you anymore, just because she felt left out and rejected by her own kingdom, and her own people." She glared at the princess with a stony expression. "Her own sister."
Celestia stared at her. Her face unreadable. A great white rock, full of immeasurable power.
Lulu realised what she had just said and her face very quickly softened. "Oh. Oh geez I'm sorry, I don't-" Her voice broke and wavered.
The princess held a hoof up to silence her, lowering her head, pointing her horn directly at the human.
"Oh god this is it, this is the end, death, or stoneification, approaches," thought Lulu as she squeezed her eyes shut, her hands jammed to her sides.
"You're right."
Lulu slowly opened her eyes and blinked. "Scuse me?" she squeaked.
Celestia chuckled. A hollow sound. "You're right. I did banish her to the moon. I should have reasoned with her more." She raised her head and looked at Lulu with a great sadness in her eyes. "I was not the best sister I could have been, and I regret that decision every single day.
"But you... you make my sister happier than I ever could. and clearly, you aren't afraid to fight for her."
The princess flourished her wings and knelt down, her nose almost touching the floor. "And for that I am grateful, and I bow to you out of respect."
"I... I don't know what to say, Celestia," Lulu mumbled, feeling uncomfortable. She was definitely not qualified to deal with an all powerful god creature like Celestia literally kneeling to her out of respect. "Is this what the hobbits felt?" she thought as Celestia looked her in the eyes.
"You don't need to say anything, Lulu," stated Celestia, her eyes soft and welcoming. "You make my beloved sister so happy, I could kiss you myself." She paused, a smile twitced at the corner of her mouth as she saw the human start to blush.
"I, uh..." Lulu stammered.
"But I won't," Celestia joked as she elegantly rose to her full height again, "out of fear that Luna might see and suspect I was 'trying to steal you away' or some such."
Lulu started to laugh. "She would probably think that, yeah."
The two of them smiled at each other. "There isn't much of the night remaining, you should get some sleep," said Celestia, "busy day tomorrow."
Lulu nodded. "I know." She turned to look over at Equestria again, her nighty flowing in the light breeze. "I'm just worried, Celestia." She glanced back at the princess, who nodded solemnly. Her brow furrowed as she made to get into bed.
"I know." Celestia ignited her horn and used her magic to tuck the human's bed covers in. "Hush now, get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."
"Yeah." Lulu yawned. "Big day..."
Just before she left, Celestia turned and looked at the human, just barely drifting off to sleep and stated, quite plainly, "If you ever speak to me like that again you will regret it." She flashed a toothy smile as Lulu bolted upright in bed. "I'm joking, I swear. Goodnight Lulu."
Lulu nodded and clutched the covers to her chest. "Night," she whispered. Her eyes wide in abject terror as the door closed, she laid her head back down and was suddenly extremely grateful she had fallen for, and was friends with, a powerful god creature that could rival Celestia's tomfoolery.
As her head hit the pillow her eyelids drooped. "Must've been... more tired than I thought..." she mumbled, as she drifted off into a deep slumber.
***
Upon waking, Lulu buried herself into her soft, warm sheets. She yawned and rubbed the remainders of sleep from her eyes as she sat up and gazed out the window at the sun pouring its golden rays over the sleepy world. She swung her legs overt he side of the bed, noting the conspicuous pony shaped indent by her side. Luna had come to bed at some point, but she couldn't for the life of her remember when. "Where is she now?" she thought as she slowly stood and went towards the open window and the balcony. As she stood and watched the world wake up, she started to hear it wake up too. Not just the birds in the treetops and the vale, but the townsfolk of Canterlot in the streets below. Ponies setting up stalls, children on their way to school. She smiled and laughed softly to herself.
"Such a peaceful world. You wouldn't think the end of everything they know would rock up every now and then."
The sound of flapping wings caught her attention. Not regular wings, as she'd grown accustomed to from her time in Equestria, but something altogether unnatural.
She backed up as the flapping grew closer. Was it a large bird? Philomena, Celestia's pet phoenix perhaps? "No, it's bigger," she thought as her hand found the edge of the bed. She braced herself for whatever it was. "Surely it wasn't a random pony flying straight to the princess's window? There must be guards that prevent ponies from doing that."
With a sigh she realised it must be Luna coming back and calmed herself. She straightened her nighty down and swept a messy strand pf hair out of her face as a dark shadow appeared on the balcony. Her nose twitched as she could smell the tint of singed hair and her smile faltered.
Before her was definitely not Luna. A tall, dark grey pony with black hair instead stood. His cutie mark was obstructed by the black as night armour he wore. He regarded her with green, serpentine eyes that held a hint of contempt.
Lulu stared at his wings. Leathery, bat-like appendages grew in place of the usual feathery wings. She took a step back as he barked in a gruff voice with a strange accent.
"My lady needs you."
She clutched her ears as his voice pierced through her, like a cold mist it chilled her to the bone. "I-" she started before the strange pony cut her off.
"Night is finished now, I cannot stay. Go to her study, my lady tells me to say. My queen needs you."
He hissed the last sentence at her as he flapped his wings and vanished in a puff of smoke.
Lulu stood bewildered. "Did he have a Transylvanian accent?" she murmured, "and queen ? I thought Luna was a princess..." Her eyes widened. She gulped and started to get dressed. "Oh hang on," she paused to think. "Where was Luna's study again? Fourth door on the left after the second flight of stairs going down?" She pondered. "of dow three flights of stairs and second door on the right?" Her face twisted with anxiety.
A knock at the door startled her and interrupted her thoughts.
"Lady Lulu?" Came a familiar voice. Lulu breathed a sigh of relief as she recognised Pennyworth, Celestia's head butler. "May I come in, ma'am?"
Lulu cleared her throat. Nobody had ever called her 'lady' before. "Uh, yea- yes please."
The door swung open, revealing a tall, thin pony with a waxed moustache and narrow eyes. He tutted at the mess and smiled at the human at the centre of it. "Thirty years I've served this household you know, and no matter how many tims I've told her she never tidies up after herself." He chuckled. His voice was warm and kind, like an old grandfather. prim and proper but stern and firm at the same time. "Now, my dear, Princess Celestia has asked me to accompany you to-"
"Luna's study, yeah," Lulu replied without thinking about it.
Pennyworth raised his eyebrows. "A gift of foresight, miss?"
Lulu blushed and mumbled an apology. "Somebody already told me." She gestured to the window.
At this Pennyworth crossed the room and peered outside. His nostrils flared as he peered observed the world and smelled something burning.
"A pegasus but with, like, bat wings?" Lulu offered.
He scowled. "Ah. I see you've met the old guard." He turned to face her. "Unsavoury characters, I don't know why the princess tolerates them."
"What are they?"
"Dark pegasi, simply put. An amalgamation of a Pegasus infused with dark magic. Created originally to serve-" He hesitated and sighed. "To serve Nightmare Moon."
Lulu tensed up. Every time she'd asked Luna about 'The Nightmare' Luna clammed up and wouldn't go into detail. "Oh... I see."
Pennyworth nodded. "Unsavoury yes, but loyal to a fault. They worship their princess, their 'queen' with unwavering fanaticism. However being creatures of the night, they cannot exist for long periods of time, hence the burning smell."
The human's eyes widened.
"Yes, any longer and whoever you spoke to must have been about to burst into flames," Pennyworth continued. "Now." he pawed at the ground with a hoof, inspecting a fine speck of dust. "Now I've taken up far too much of your time already, this old goat does like to waffle on." He smiled and gestured to the door. "Shall we?"
Lulu scrambled forwards to join him. "Would you mind if I ask you some questions about the princesses, and this castle?" she hesitantly asked.
Pennyworth beamed. The creases under his eyes tripled in number as he did so. "I'd be more than happy to give you a brief tour as we walk. Always happy to see the youth take an interest in history."
She smiled at him as they set off.
The old pony gestured upwards. "Now, this castle is about as old as Equestria itself..."
***
"Which brings us to where we are today." Pennyworth finished as they stood outside Luna's study.
Lulu couldn't help but gaze up in wonder at the historied paintings and walls around them. She realised that she hadn't actually a single clue about any of pony history, and desperately wished she'd brought a pen and paper.
"Thank you for that tour, Mr Pennyworth."
"Oh pish," Pennyworth waved a hoof. "Thank you for letting me give it. Not enough ponies care about the past these days, it's nice to see a change."
He smiled at her and gave a small bow. "It has been a privilege talking with you, Miss Lulu. One day we shall have to converse on human history."
She nodded enthusiastically. "Oh yeah, definitely." She curtsied, making the old pony chuckle.
"Such decorum, my lady." He rapped his hoof on the door. "The princess is surely in good company."
Celestia's voice came from inside. "Yes?"
Pennyworth's smile faded as he resumed his proper duties. "Pennyworth, ma'am. The lady Lulu awaits, as requested."
"Send her in, please Pennyworth." Her voice was soft and kind.
He nodded and opened the door. He bowed to Lulu before ushering her in. "It has been a pleasure, Miss Lulu. I hope we meet again soon."
"Me too, Mr Pennyworth."
With a curt nod, the old pony turned and trotted away. Lulu turned into the room and squinted in the light. At first she couldn't make out much, but as her eyes adjusted she saw Luna beaming at her, a large suitcase clearly stuffed to the brim at her side. She grinned uncontrollably as she patted the seat next to her.
"Whaaat's going on, Luna?" Lulu asked as she crossed the room, still squinting a touch from the brilliant light in the middle of the room. She sat and placed her hand on Luna's outstretched hoof.
The princess quivered in excitement. "We found a way to take you home!" she squealed.
Lulu's eyes widened. "Wait, really? And you're okay with it?"
Luna nodded vigorously. "Aha!" She calmed herself and looked Lulu in the eyes. "For you, my sweetie, anything."
The human giggled and gave the pony's face a light shove in embarrassment.
Celestia cleared her throat. "Yes, Lulu, we did." She gestured to the bright light at the centre of the room. "I asked Twilight Sparkle what she knew about portals and dimensions and the like." She paused. "She cast a spell and created that light. She tells me if you were to step through it, you would return to your world, approximately seven minutes after you left the first time."
Lulu gaped. "Seven. Minutes? So it would be like I haven't even been gone?"
Celestia nodded. "Precisely."
The princess next to her nudged her and wiggled her eyebrows at the suitcase. "I've already packed our things. I'm ready when you are." She bit her lip to keep from beaming so much.
Lulu's eyes welled with tears. Luna's smile faltered as she went to embrace her friend. "Is this not what you wanted, Lulu?" she asked as she stroked the human's hair.
"Of course it is, it's just nerves," the girl sniffed. "And relief. I'm so glad you're okay with this."
Princess Luna smiled. Her eyes twinkled in the light. "I've realised how stupid I've been. I... think I love you, Lulu. You're my best friend, my other half, and I want to be with you, as long as you'll have me."
Lulu gasped. "Of course I do, you silly filly!" She threw her arms around the pony and kissed her on the nose. "Of course I want you to be with me, I think I love you too. I'm so happy you'll get to meet my-" She stopped. her mouth trembled. "Did we just get engaged?" She asked quietly.
Luna's smile broadened, if such a thing were possible. "I think we did." They hugged. They kissed. A deep, long passionate kiss. Their foreheads touched and
Celestia cleared her throat as her eyes welled up with tears of joy. "I am so proud of both of you two." She rubbed her eyes. "You've grown so much since you've known each other." She extended her hoof to Lulu, who grasped it and smiled. She shook. "You're a part of the family now, Lulu."
Lulu cried as she rubbed her nose and gazed at the glowing portal still in front of them. "Shall we then, sweetie?" she asked as she took Luna's hoof in her hand.
The princess sniffed and smiled. "Yes let's." They took at step together. Lulu cast a look back at Celestia, who smiled and waved. She waved back.
"Deep breath" she thought as light engulfed them.
***
In the portal, time seemed to slow down, still they pushed through, as if moving through jelly or a thick mire. Everything went dark for a brief moment, before colour exploded into their vision. They cried out together as they tumbled forwards onto a soft surface.
Lulu looked around and laughed. She was in her bedroom again, there was Mr Bubbles her stuffed Big Daddy, there was her video games and her DVDs. She breathed in and gazed at the familiar sights.
The princess groggily rose to her feet and looked around. Her mouth turned upwards in a smile as they looked around together. Then they started to laugh.
Luna and Lulu embraced, just as the latter heard the familiar jingle of keys in their house's door. She quickly stood and ran to the door. "Celeste?" she called out.
"Yeeahh?" Came a voice form below. It was without a doubt her older sister.
"Come here!" lulu shouted, struggling to hide the excitement in her voice.
Luna stood and flourished her wings as she straightened her crown. She felt nervous, but an excited kind of nervous.
"I forgot something," Celeste shouted up. "I'm not staying long I just came to-"
"Just come here you idiot!" Lulu almost screamed, biting her lip in anticipation. She heard her sister sigh and heard her footsteps on the stairs.
"I'm gonna be late this had better..." Celeste rounded the corner to Lulu's room. She froze and stared at the pony. "Be... important."
Lulu looked back and forth between them, suddenly feeling extremely anxious. "Uh, Celeste, this is... Luna," she mumbled quietly.
The princess bowed and flashed a smile at Celeste. "A true pleasure, Lulu has told me so much about you."
Celeste was frozen. She shook her head and stared at Lulu. "Okay, I'm gonna cancel my plans. And you, missy," she jabbed a finger at her sister. "Have got some explaining to do."
"Fair," mumbled Lulu, who looked at the ground awkwardly. She glanced at Luna who just smiled back. "I have no idea if she feels as awkward as I do, but holy dicks this is gonna get messy quickly I think" she thought as Celeste punched in some words on her phone to her friend.
The elder sister beckoned them down the stairs and into the living room. She gestured to the sofa and sat down in her chair.
Lulu and Luna took a seat as Celeste placed her fingers on her lips. "Okay," she sighed. "Explain this then."
And with that, Lulu began to tell her sister everything. About the website, getting sucked through a portal, spending months and possibly years in Equestria, all their time together. Their plans for the future, which caused Celeste's eyebrows to almost hit the ceiling. And everything and anything up until that point.
The elder sister didn't say anything, she just listened, and looked back and forth between them. She listened.
And listened.
And listened, to her batshit crazy little sister, who had apparently had wondrous adventures in other worlds these days. She laughed as they took turns explaining parts. It was cute, she thought. Her phone buzzed and buzzed but she just continued listening.
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Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Fifteen - Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Dear Diary,
It's been a year since the wedding. I'm loving life in Equestria, I'm technically part of the royal family now so that comes with extra bonuses of course, that doesn't hurt at all. 👑
Every day there's a new thing to discover, or a new crisis to solve for the princesses. Most of the time I'm next to useless, but that's okay with me. More video games and stuff for me!
Celeste was surprisingly okay with it all, and she regularly comes to visit. I always look forward to when she does, as she's slowly learning to appreciate magic as much as I do now. Last time she came the three of us went hiking in the mountains. That was one of the best holidays I've ever had. 😎
Luna is lovely. She's been so sweet and tender as our anniversary approaches. I think she's got something super special planned for us. I look forward to it more and more each day.
Not much else to say right now. I can hear her humming as she comes up the stairs so I'm gonna go.
Love you diary.
Lulu put her book down and swivelled in her seat. She gazed around the room she'd grown so accustomed to and smiled. She really did enjoy her time in Equestria. She rarely, if ever, felt homesick these days, as she came to the realization home is where her princess is. She giggled to herself.
The door swung open and Luna trotted in, a bouqet of flower in her mouth."Mmmhm," she mumbled.
Lulu stood and took them from her. The princess beamed. "For you, sweetie."
The human laughed and stroked the pony's head. "They're lovely, thank you sweetheart." They embraced briefly and looked out the window together.
"I've been writing a book." Lulu said quietly.
Luna gasped. "No. Where? Show me!" she demanded, her eyes gleaming with mirth.
"No it's not finished yet, and hidden."
"Hidden where? What's it about?"
"Nowhere. Us."
"US?!" Luna squealed with delight.
Lulu giggled and gave her wife a shove. "Quit being such a pest, I'll show you when it's ready."
The princess pouted. "Pwetty pwease?" She fluttered her eyelashes.
Her wife blushed. "Don't do the face."
Luna smushed her face and stuck her lower lip out and pouted, whining ever so lightly as she did so.
"Hnnnnnn you know I can't resist that," Lulu laughed. She reached under the bed and grabbed a large book with a light purple cover. "I got it from Twilight, as a wedding present, remember?"
The princess grinned with glee. "Yes I remember, what have you wrote about us so far?"
"Just us. Our daily lives as we go on together, it's kinda like a diary but about us." Lulu opened and showed her the contents. "I just figured out the title last night."
Luna looked at the book and laughed. "Oh this is so interesting, you've written about everything in here. Look here's a chapter about the first time we... you know." She blushed.
Lulu laughed. "There are still some pages left you know. I reckon at least..." she counted on her fingers, watching her wife's expression turn to worry momentarily, before breaking into a smile. "I'm joking you fool. I'll just start a new book when this one is finished."
The princess pouted and closed the book, reading the title on the front cover out loud. "Harmless Shenanigans With Princess Luna. Cute, but-" She frowned and used her magic to bring a quill over from the desk, making one small adjustment:
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna.
She nodded, satisfied with her addition and gave the book back to Lulu. They both broke into laughter
Their laughter floated out the window and into the courtyard below, where old Pennyworth's ear twitched. He broke into a large smile and, as he looked up at the sky and the sun shining bright, sighed, quite content with life.
Author's Note
It's over. It's done.
I had a bigger plan involved for these two but in the end I decided a nice happy ending would be best.
Thank you for staying with me all these years, and for coming back if you did.
The emojis in Lulu's diary are to be taken as doodles, or stickers if you want.
Harmless Shenanigans(?) With Princess Luna
Four - State Your Name, Rank And Intention
"And this is the kitchen," Luna said as they reached the large kitchen.
Lulu looked around in awe. "Wow. It's big," she murmured.
Luna nodded. "Mhm. Come. We are about to reach my favourite part," she giggled and beckoned Lulu over to a shelf. A shelf, lined with goodies.
"Ooooh," Lulu giggled as Luna removed the lid to a large jar and reached into it.
Luna scrunched her face up as she felt around for whatever treat she was looking for. "Aha," she said. "Here they are," she chuckled as she drew out a packet of cookies.
Lulu's jaw dropped. "Seriously? Cookies exist in Equestria?" she asked and took some after Luna wiggled the packet in front of her.
"Of course. What, did you think we only eat hay and plants?" Luna asked and frowned.
"Well..." Lulu scratched her head. "Sort of. Cookies just aren't your typical pony food," she admitted.
Luna sighed. "Well, we're not meant to eat these. Especially not me, Tia's got me on a diet. But I figure I'm showing my best friend around, so we'll have some cookies while we're at it," she giggled and took her own cookies, then put the packet back and closed the lid.
They giggled for a bit and munched on their stolen snacks, when they were silenced by a grumbling voice.
"Shhh," Luna whispered and stifled another giggle.
Lulu nodded and clamped her hands over her mouth and watched to see what the princess was up to. "Is he singing?" she whispered.
Luna nodded and slipped into the shadows, where she waited for the owner of the voice, the chef no less, to come into view.
"Oh, oobee doo... shooby do. I wanna walk like you, talk like you too-oo-oo-" he stopped when he saw the lid of the cookie jar at an angle. "Who's there?" he called out, suddenly very afraid somepony had heard his singing. "I'll get Princess Celestia on you!" he warned.
Luna moved in the shadows and grinned.
The chef started back. "State your name rank and intention!" he demanded and regained his composer at somepony stealing into his kitchen.
Luna stepped into the light. "Princess Luna. Princess..." she paused and rubbed her chin. "Fun." she grinned like a madpony.
The chef's knees buckled and he collapsed to the floor and grovelled. "Oh s-s-sorry pp-princess, I swear I d-d-didn't know it w-w-was you!" he wailed at her hooves.
Luna looked at him with a bemused expression and started laughing.
Lulu emerged from the shadows and her hiding spot and scowled at Luna. "That wasn't very nice. It was hilarious. But still a bit mean," she said.
Luna's face fell and nodded. "Mr Floop," she addressed the chef, who was staring at Lulu.
He snapped back to attention and bowed at the princess again. "Yes, miss?"
"I apologise for scaring you like that. And for stealing the cookies."
His face flared up and hopped up and down. "So you did steal the cookies," he jokingly growled.
Luna nodded and grinned again. "Yes. And might I add, they were delicious as per usual. Oh excuse me, I don't believe the two of you have met," she turned to Lulu. "Lulu, this is Mr Candy Floop. He's the head chef here. Mr Floop, this is Lulu. She's a friend of mine," she said proudly. "And a human, from Earth."
Mr Floop visibly let out a sigh of relief as the alien watched him. He bowed respectively, "Pleasure m'lady," he said and kissed Lulu's hand like a gentlecolt.
Lulu giggled and curtseyed. "Pleasure is all mine, Mr Floop."
Neither of them notice Luna's face turn green with envy. "Yes, well. We should get moving Lulu, if you still want to that is. Or perhaps I should send an order out for you two to get a room together?"
Lulu turned scarlet, as did the chef. "Yes, let's. Been nice meeting you, Mr Floop."
He smiled and nodded as they turned to go.
"Where now?" asked Lulu.
"Hmmm... this way. The gardens." Luna said after a while contemplating where they should go next. "So that's the rec room, the throne room, the kitchen... and now the gardens. Almost done." she smiled.
Lulu hurried to catch up to her. "How much is left?"
"You'll see," Luna chuckled as they trotted along.
***
They reached the gardens and the large, see-through doors swung open as two guards trotted inside and held the door open for the ladies.
"Thank you, kind sirs," Luna chuckled and bowed.
They turned slightly pale and their knees buckled as they smiled and blushed.
Luna sighed and trotted past them, Lulu following suite and nodding to the guards politely. They stared after the human and tilted their heads slightly.
"You alright, Luna?" Lulu asked and put a hand on her friend's wing.
"Mhm," Luna grunted.
Lulu sighed and removed her hand. "When she's ready. She'll talk," she thought and followed the princess through the gardens.
"And that's Victory. She was a fine mare in her time," Luna said as they stopped in front of a statue.
The human gazed up at said statue. "She looks beautiful. What did she do?"
"She led a revolt against Celestia and I."
"Oh, that sounds- wait what?" Lulu gaped at the princess. "She led a revolt against you two?"
Luna nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on the statue. "Shortly after Celestia and I first came into power, many ponies saw a chance for a dispute. Victory led one under false pretences. You know our nephew, Blueblood?"
The human nodded. "Yeah. Lieutenant bastard Blueblood. I know of him."
The princess chuckled. "Haven't heard that title before. Yes, our beloved nephew. He is descendant from Victory. He claims royalty, yet he and everypony in his family, knows that he is descended from a line of traitors."
"So, if you don't mind me asking, why is there a statue of her here?"
"Statue?"
Lulu gaped, suddenly quite fearful of the statue and it's unblinking eyes. Her unblinking eyes. "Oh, that's... oh..."
"It is an uncomfortable subject, I understand if you wish to move on," Luna said, nudging her friend's arm.
The human shivered. "Yeah, just... oh..."
They set off once more, leaving the gardens and the rather morbid statue on her own.
***
"So where are we going now?" Lulu asked as they trotted along to whatever surprise Luna had in store for her.
"You'll see," the pony giggled and pushed open a large pair of ebony doors. "This way," she said and led the two of them down a dark corridor.
Lulu began to feel uneasy as the light grew dimmer and dimmer, until they eventually reached a point where Lulu had to grab hold of Luna's tail again.
"Just try and stay behind me," Luna warned as she led the human through the darkness.
"Mhm," grunted Lulu as she stumbled over something.
"Alright, we're her-" the princess ceased speaking mid-sentence when she felt Lulu's fingers brush against her plot. The warmth lingered for a few moments afterwards.
Lulu slowly removed her hand from the base of the princess's tail and turned bright red. "Never speak of this?" she slowly asked.
"Never speak of this," Luna slowly answered and pushed the door open. "Welcome. To..." she paused dramatically. "The Music Room!" she bellowed, making Lulu stumble backwards in surprise.
The human shook her head as Luna giggled and helped her up again. Lulu looked around the room and saw posters of heavy metal bands around the walls: Iron Hayden, Pinkie Floyd, Van Hooflen, Aerogriff and many others. And the large poster above a set of badass looking drums: Dethklop.
Luna showed her around, showing her the countless musical experiments Luna had and did. "And there are my babies." she said proudly as they reached the drums. "Mama's missed you," she said and placed her head on one, rubbing it lovingly.
Lulu laughed at her friend. "You silly filly, you."
Luna blushed. "So you want to get your guitar and jam for a bit or...?"
Lulu gasped as she finally realized the princess's plan. "Of course I do, let's go get it now!" she said and bounced up and down happily.
The princess chuckled and let out a sigh of relief. She didn't really doubt that Lulu wouldn't want to play with her, and her plan became more and more solid as she saw how excited she was. "Alright. Let's go." She turned back to the drum kit. "Now you be good, mama'll be right back," she said sternly and laughed with Lulu as they went in search of the rec room again.
