A Different Kind of Jealousy
"I don't understand," said the draconequus for what seemed like the umpteenth time.
Fluttershy sighed. Explaining the concept of friendship to Discord was difficult at the best of times, but it was even harder when he was emotionally distraught. She'd come to learn that about the draconequus; He seemed to ride on his emotions and when he did it was without reigns. He also seemed to be very paranoid, a fact he was unlikely to admit any time soon.
"I've explained it to you, Discord," she said in a soft tone that belied her seemingly infinite patience. "She didn't understand what true friendship meant. She was lonely, and hurting. Like you."
"She's nothing like me," he growled. "Do you really think I would make ponies even more boring that most of them already are?"
He had said "most ponies" instead of "all ponies" because he was including Fluttershy in that equation. And Pinkie Pie. And possibly Sparky when she wasn't being an insufferable know-it-all book worm. He had only just started to get to know the others. There had been one particular weekend where everyone had laughed at his jokes and the incident with the hose had brought everyone out of their shells and they had all ended up laying on haystacks at Sweet Apple Acres, their bellies and heads full of cider, looking up at the stars and laughing as Discord made the constellations into shapes, some very rude. Even the demure Rarity had snorted cider out of her nose at that one.
Then she had come along and ruined everything. And they had all accepted her instantly. She didn't have to learn anything. Instead it was open arms instantly.
This was different from Treehugger. This was the principle of the thing. Treehugger had been a friend he was jealous of for a silly reason. This other pony didn't deserve Fluttershy's kindness. He knew only too well how freely she offered it to all beings. Someone was bound to take advantage of it at some point.
"How do you know you can trust her?" he said.
"She seems genuinely sorry for what she's done."
"You thought I was genuinely sorry for what I'd done."
"Aren't you?"
"Of course I am! But...maybe I was unsure before. So how do you know she isn't unsure?"
"If anything I think we should have shown you more trust. It's clear that you needed it or you wouldn't have betrayed us."
He laughed at her. "That makes no sense you daft bird-horse!"
"I would have thought that would appeal to you."
"Touché. But...surely you see my point, Fluttershy? You can't let your guard down. She messed with time. I've only known of two other beings in history that can do that properly, and one of them is me. You didn't even see the versions of Equestria she put Twilight and Spike in. I went back and had a look at them. They aren't pretty. Except perhaps for the one with the unicycle."
"Unicycle?"
"The unicycle's not the point!" said Discord quickly. "The point is she's got a lot of power, and I don't want anyone getting the sharp end of that, especially not you." He had coiled his body around the pegasus as he said this.
"Discord, you're worrying too much."
"Oh, the irony! She tells me I'm worrying too much."
"But you are," said Fluttershy. "Starlight Glimmer was in a very similar position to Twilight once, but she was unlucky. She didn't have a good mentor like Twilight does with Celestia. She didn't have anyone to guide her and help her. She didn't have the education. In fact, she's self-taught. Do you know how hard it is to learn magic on your own?"
Discord cringed when he heard the pony's name. He didn't like hearing it on Fluttershy's sweet voice. "I wouldn't have a clue," he said, deadpan.
"Oh...sorry," said Fluttershy. "I didn't mean...It's just you make it look so easy that I forget."
That was enough to soothe his hackled feathers when it came to his magical skills, but everything else still felt up in the air. He began pacing across the room, up the wall, and across the ceiling of Fluttershy's cottage. "It's just..." he was saying, gesticulating his forelimbs wildly as he spoke, "...I know a lot Fluttershy. I'm not bragging, I just mean that over centuries I know what ponies that do bad things are capable of. A lot of them will even go so far as to seem completely normal; they'll put on a facade. Are you really sure she's a "nice" "normal" mare, Shy? That could just be to reel you in."
"I'm not being reeled in," she said firmly, looking up at him while he looked down at her from the ceiling.
"But you wouldn't realize it if you were being reeled in," Discord insisted. "That's part of it, and then when you have your guard down completely she'd probably try and take Twilight's throne or something. I mean, have you guys even discussed this?"
"We did deliberate for about an hour."
Discord laughed. He sounded even more unhinged than he usually did. "An hour? Is that all? How many hours have you deliberated about me? I mean, I know I am a truly fascinating specimen and entire books have and should be written about me, but that hardly seems fair, does it?"
"Fair?"
"Well, sure. How come she gets forgiveness right away and I had to have those...those...things threatening me for years?" He shuddered and she knew he was talking about the Elements of Harmony. They no longer needed them, and Discord no longer posed a threat anyway. She also realized why he was taking this so hard all of a sudden.
"Discord, it may not seem fair to you, but we're actually doing with Starlight Glimmer exactly what we should have done with you. We should have given you more of the benefit of the doubt. All of us should have."
"No! You are missing the point", he said. He was now swinging back and forth on the ceiling like an agitated bat. "I...I know kindness is what you are. It's your thing. But it's also very attractive to predators. At some point you're going to offer kindness to someone who will totally use it against you."
"I have my friends to support me if that happens."
"You think it's that easy to get over it? It isn't." He flipped down from the ceiling and landed in front of her. "It would leave a lasting mark."
He was speaking as if he'd had it done to him. "Besides, you're the one who exposed her at the village, so she'd probably go after you first. Especially you." His paw was on her shoulder now.
"Discord, I appreciate your concern, but I really don't think that's going to happen. I really think you should give her a chance."
His feathers rose again and he turned away from her, his tail swishing back and forth.
"You might find you actually have a lot in common..."
This was the wrong thing to say, and Discord reacted almost instantly. "I'm nothing like her! She's all about sameness and being static and boring! I would never make ponies all be the same. Do you know how messed up that is? When everyone has exactly the same ideas and nothing is ever challenged and everyone even tries to look the same. You may as well all be dead!"
He was shouting now and looked distraught.
"I didn't mean...and anyway she's changed. She's not like that anymore."
Discord laughed. "Ponies don't change, Fluttershy, not really. There's always something about them that will remain at their core. Something integral."
"But that wasn't really who she was. It was a coping mechanism she'd adopted to not allow herself to feel pain."
"It's pathetic, really," said Discord. He was suddenly wearing a wig that looked very much like Starlight Glimmer's hair. He spoke in a high pitched voice. "Boo hoo hoo. My friend got her cutie mark before me and left town so I adopted the path of evil and created a town that would have made the Bullsheviks proud and stole the thing that made everything creative and special because I wasn't special enough myself. Oh, pity me. Pity me, society." He dabbed his face with an orange hanky covered with pictures of Starlight Glimmer's face.
"It's not pity," said Fluttershy. She was beginning to feel extremely annoyed with him. "Discord, surely you of all people can relate to what it's like to be alone and friendless and have no one understand you? I really hope you don't think I'm your friend merely out of pity".
He sighed. "Of course not. But...Fluttershy." He hesitated.
"Yes?" she said softly.
"Nothing," he said. He wanted to ask her why it had taken so long for everyone to accept him. He wanted to ask her why even she had balked sometimes when he wanted to be included in something, why she seemed to think that he knew more about friendship that he actually did at times and she seemed to think this was all very easy. He wanted to ask her if she still found his chaos scary sometimes. How dare that upstart mare suddenly seem to have everything fall into place when he still felt like he was struggling with all of...all of...whatever this was! He liked having friends. He actually liked it more than turning the world upside down, which was the only reason it currently wasn't. But that didn't mean he still wasn't confused about a whole lot, especially with regards to his pegasus friend.
Instead he said: "I don't trust her."
"Of course you don't. But if you got to know her, maybe you could."
He looked down at the small pegasus, looking up at him with her hopeful and encouraging eyes.
"Mmmph!" he grunted, balling his fists. "Fine. I'll try," he said tersely. Though he made a mental note that he was only going to put in minimal effort. Why should he be the one to first extend the paw of friendship? Let her do all the work, like he had.
Fluttershy's arms snaked round his cylindrical form from behind and he felt her head resting on his back. "Thank you, Discord."
He patted her head with his paw. He really wanted to change the subject. "Can we have tea?"
"I'll get the cups and plates," she said.
He sat down on the couch, looking around at her living room. He really hoped Tuesday Tea would remain between him and Fluttershy. He wasn't sure what he would do if another pony came into that. If Starlight Glimmer started arriving at their tea parties it would destroy a special activity that he had only reserved for Fluttershy. What other special things would she destroy, with her need to make everything equal? His heart hurt just thinking about it, and he felt sick.
Fluttershy came through with the tea tray.
"Hope you like macaroons!" she said, cheerfully. Discord forced a smile. He would enjoy it while he could. The unicorn couldn't take that away from him, at least.
Author's Note
I don't know for sure, because I'm not psychic, but since Discord gets a two-parter in Season 6, I must assume he's going to meet Starlight Glimmer and logic would dictate that the Spirit of Chaos would lock horns with the former leader of a village where everypony is equal and "boring."
Discord is super jealous and desperate for attention and he hasn't quite mastered being a "grown up" when it comes to friendship yet, though he probably thinks he has, therefore seeing immediate acceptance of someone who did things (some just as bad) as him by the Mane 6, and especially by Fluttershy grinds his goatgears.
"Bird-horse" is a phrase I totally ~~stole~~ borrowed from taterforlife.
