'member when...

by RarityEQM

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Shining Armor, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1975

Twilight spends a quiet holiday night at home, drunk with her siblings.

Twilight is home for the holidays, and she and her brothers have a special little tradition between them as they reflect on the events past.

Published 2016-04-05 15:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-05 15:40:01 UTC

Remember when...

"I got one, I got one," Shining Armor mumbled enthusiastically. He was laying on his back, staring into the darkness with a wide drunken grin stretched over his lips. He clutched the bottle of cider in his hooves and took a long, burning pull.

"Ugh, that is spicy. Okay, okay, Twilight. Do you remember, when Dad took us on that camping trip to Moossachusetts, and when we first got there, you'd never seen a moose before and you asked: "If squirrels lived in the branches that come out of your head?" He sputtered, listening to the darkness around him burst into quiet giggles and snickers.

"I'd never seen Dad take a step away from you so fast in my life! He was like: "This is not my child, I do NOT know her!" A voice snickered next to him. He glanced over fondly at the little dragon who continued the story.

"Yeah, and Mom was even worse! She started turning so red, and she was apologizing, and, you know, like, how she'll apologize, and then cut herself off mid-apology and apologize again?" Shining Armor chuckled. To his left another voice burst out into a shrill drunken cackle.

"I remember that! Rai-rai-right! And Mom said, "No they don't, and that's an impolite question to ask," and I said 'Okay, if I can't ask about squirrels how about birds?!" Twilight laughed helplessly. Spike rolled onto his side, trying to laugh as quietly as possible. After all, it was three o' clock in the morning.

"I KNOW! But I thought it would be so cool to have antlers. Like I imagined you could build a bird nest in each, and have a family of birds living on your head! They'd like, talk to you n' stuff, and like help you study for tests," Twilight giggled, kicking her hind legs out while she talked.

Outside the wind howled, and a frost-ridden zephyr danced through the town. Years ago, on a night just like this one, Twilight had stumbled into Shining Armor's room deep in the hours of the evening, with a fresh coat of tears across her cheeks. To him, she lamented. To him, she confessed her fears. Her real true fears; the one's she could never force herself to say in front of her parents. How worried she was she would fail Celestia. How she knew Celestia wanted her for something incredibly important, but didn't know what. How everyone would hate her if she failed. How her parents would be so disappointed in her. Everypony was expecting so many great things from her, and what if she blew it? She sobbed into his arms. She'd never asked for this destiny, and now it was all so big and happening all so fast and she had no idea if she could handle it.

Shining Armor had held his tongue, listening to every sobbed word and hiccuped worry. In the end, he pulled her into a hug, rocking her back and forth in the darkness.

"Do you remember that time when you had tried to make Mac n' Cheese using chocolate milk?" He had asked her. Out of the blue. Her stream of tears had turned to quiet whimpers, but now she sat up curiously with her ears perked. "I don't know. "he continued. "The memory just popped into my head." He added with a sly grin.

"It was the most disgusting thing I had ever tasted, but I kept trying to convince you it was delicious," They laughed, much to Twilight's amazement. She had thought her ability to laugh had abandoned her by that point, and her brother revived it with an errant comment about food. No. Not about food. He was reminding her of something. Some silly event they had shared together. That would always be there, buried in their memories no matter what the future held. It was comforting to know some things would never change. She peered at the dorky smile on his face. Or maybe he was just a big dumb goofball. She loved him anyway.

Tradition. That's when it had become a tradition she decided. The moment she laughed after all that heartache. She had asked him if they could do this again, and he eagerly agreed. Of course, the easiest way to do that would be when they were all together. Hearthswarming eve, she theorized, would be perfect. And now here they were; to her left was Shining, and to her right, Spike. Across the hall, their parents slept soundly in their beds. In Twilight's room, the three of them quietly passed a bottle around in the darkness, -Shining's addition to the tradition, which brought her back to the present. She reached over and plucked the bottle of booze from Shining Armor's hooves and tilted her head back, drawing in a mouthful of the cheapest cider they could get.

"Okokok, do you remember, Spike's fourth birthday party? When he accidently set my bookshelf on fire, while he was trying to blow out the cake?" Twilight snickered. In the darkness, she was certain Spike turned a warm shade of red. Her brother gave a snort and grinned.

"You were SO mad. I didn't understand what the big deal was, but I'd never seen you freak out like that, " Spike chuckled quietly.

"You set my first edition Harry Trotter book on fire! I'd never raged before that point in my life! I remember looking through spell books trying to 'quell' dragon's fire for a month after that, I wanted to make a potion so you couldn't talk, I wanted to learn how to cast curses, I remember even thinking I could duct tape your mouth shut!" Twilight chuckled. A sharp snort burst out of the darkness, followed by Shining writhing on the floor from giggles.

"You never did let me live that down," Spike grumbled.

"FIRST EDITION Toaster-breath!" Twilight snarled, before the three of them burst into giggles once again.

"Gimmie that!" Spike snapped, and suddenly the bottle of cider was gone from Twilight's hoof tips.

"Alright, so 'member when," He paused to take a swig and shuddered. "We were at Canterlot park with Mom, and she had just bought that huge bright red kite for us to fly?" Spike cooed. It was Twilight's turn to blush. She knew where this story was going. She could feel Spike grinning in the darkness.

"And it blew away, and Twilight squealed "MY FLAPPITY FLAP!" both Spike and Shining Armor laughed in unison. Twilight's cheeks burned and the unicorn gave a bashful giggle.

"I was little. I had forgotten the word for kite, and I was panicking." She admitted, to a chorus of snickers.

"Yeah, so she tried to grab it with her magic, but she used the wrong spell, and it took her with it!" Spike grinned. Shinning cackled and kicked his hooves against the floor as the memories flooded back to him.

"Right! RIGHT! I had left to find a bathroom. I gave you the kite to hold for a minute, Twilight, just a minute! You had one job. And when I come out of the bathroom, I see Twilight shooting across the park, kicking her legs, screaming and still attached to the kite!" He hollered. Twilight's blush grew in intensity, and she tried to snatch the bottle from Spike, but as long as he held the cider he got to tell the story.

"That was horrifying," Twilight grumbled.

"You mean hilarious," corrected Spike.

"Alright, you want to get cruel? We can get cruel. Gimmie that," Twilight grumped, snatching the bottle from Spike's claw and took a pull followed by a deep breath. She glared at Shining for a moment, as she rooted through her memories, searching for the perfect one to relate. She paused, grinned, and took another pull.

"Do you remember, when we went to Shining's Graduation from the Guard Academy?" Twilight asked slowly. Spike's eyes lit up like stars. Shining's face turned lobster red.

"And, Princess- " Twilight began, but Shining gave a growl.

"Stop," Shining pleaded.

"And Princess Celestia herself handed out the certificates," Twilight's grin grew wider

"Please," Shining begged.

"And everypony replied: "Thank you princess," Twilight's grin grew wider still.

"I hate you," Shining sighed.

"But, my dear sweet brother Shining was top of his class, with honors. I think this was the first time he actually got to talk to Princess Celestia, and he was so nervous that when she got to him he let out the loudest fart I have ever heard. Dead silence as it echoed through the auditorium! It was amazing," Twilight snickered, Shining grumbled something and snatched the bottle back with a huff. He paused for a second and took a drastically long pull.

"Mmmph alright. Spike, do you remember when I was...like...mmmmmmmust have been nine...and I thought it would be the coolest thing in the world to fly on a dragon," Shining began. Spike rolled his eyes, but his cheeks twisted into a helpless grin anyway.

"So, I tried to get your wings to grow by pitching you off the roof. I don't know WHY I thought that would work, but I'm so sorry," He added through sputtered chortles.

"I was into it! I wanted wings and I thought you were right! A unicorn shooting off magic, riding a flying, fire-breathing dragon would be the coolest thing ever! So I kept begging you to throw me off the roof, and Dad found out," Spike grinned. Twilight quickly nodded her head.

"As I recall he wasn't even mad, just really confused, like: "What is WRONG with my kids," Twilight giggled.

"See, I think Dad thought it would be awesome too, but then Mom found out, and she came outside screaming: "SHINING ARMOR ARE YOU THROWING A BABY OFF THE ROOF?!" She was so mad!" Shining raved helplessly.

"I don't know why we both got grounded for that one. You're the one who threw me off the roof...and Cadence off a roof...and, and, annnnd Twilight into the pool when we were at Grandma's that one time...What is wrong with you?!" Spike snickered, leaning against Twilight.

"Hey, I've got one, do you guys remember HOW ANGRY I WAS LAST YEAR YOU WOKE ME UP PLAYING THIS STUPID GAME?! GO, TO, BED!" Twilight Velvet screamed at the top of her lungs from Twilight's door.

"Yes Ma'am!" The three snapped instantly as if an automated response. And it was. They dove for their respective bedding, and climbed under the blankets, huddling as if awaiting the stern tongue lashing that would have come next in their youths. Twilight Velvet, satisfied her three stupid kids wouldn't make another peep, turned and sauntered back to her bed. She sighed. Some things would never change.

Author's Note

Unedited and commercial free. I wrote this at 5 am. Ugh, thank you insomnia. I liked this idea reflecting on when they were kids. I like the idea that Spike is treated like the baby brother. I wanted to explore the relationship dynamics behind them. Specifically, with Shining Armor and Spike to be big brother and little brother, respectively. That sort of deal. I imagine they hung out a lot when Twilight was a pupil of Celestia in classes, but no one else seems to consider this sort concept. Twilight had two brothers growing up, and this story was supposed to be a touching and humorous one.

Come on, everyone played 'member when' at some point in their lives. :)

Toilet humor really isn't my thing, but I write comedy, and that includes testing all types. Slap Stick, Joke, and Crude Humor are all parts of what makes someone laugh. It would be unfair to myself if I didn't at least nod towards it. It however, left a bad taste in my mouth, so let's call it a failed experiment