Celestia is wearing a Skirt

Celestia x Anon

Canterlot. A place of luxury where all dreams can be true, home of the most expensive restaurants and markets in all Equestria where you could live a great life if you paid for it of course. However, you being the first human that arrived in this land with miniature horses that called themselves ponies caused a big scandal around everypony (that's how they taught you to say) and they didn't hesitated to lock you down until they knew you were harmless, of course you having somewhat sharp theet and your carnivore nature it removed some points to gain their friendship, but everything changed when they brought a canary Pegasus mare with pink mane named Flutterbutter or something to see you personally and after she assured them that you were no threat you were released on the world with a proper vigilance of course, only a few months of living with those nose up nobles they welcomed you with open arms or forelegs. And now that your personal issues were put to the side your next problem to solve was the whole 'getting a house and a job' because you couldn't live in the castle and use the royal treasure to live like a spineless worm and pay your stuff and shit. So to solve your problem came the very Princess Celestia and advised you to work in the castle as a Royal Guard, she was impressed to see your fighting skills and in less than six months you were accepted in the Royal Guard. Now with that problem solved you could pay your own home to live peacefully, that's why you were wearing a full golden armor sitting on a rounded table playing a friendly card game with your fellows off duty guards.

"You picked up yet?" A guard at your left said looking at his cards, you recognized him as Hard Stone a unicorn pony.

You hissed looking at your cards, this was a new game called 'Hot Hoof' where only four cards are served to everypony and you can have only four all the time, not three or five, and you must drop one every time you pick up one. If you consider useless one card drop it and grab another from the pile or from another player, if one player thinks he had a good Hoof he must risk a chance and drop his move and immediately the other players has to drop their cards whether they're finished or not. The one with the higher number on his cards or if you have the four princesses on them wins.

"Hmmm how about you Fire Storm?" You asked the Earth pony across you and he sighted shaking his head focusing only in his cards.

"Well..." you scratched your neck at the folded pile of cards in front of you then at the remaining players.

"Ufff, it's so hot in here..." you fanned with your cards grasping the neck part of the armor to let some air in.

"I'm in" on your actual cards were a Princess Cadence, Princess Luna, Princess Twilight Sparkle and a red five. You grabbed the red five and dropped it to grab another.

"Go on" Hard Stone said looking at you nudging your side with his magic.

"How many times I told you not to do that anymore? Hot damn..." you needed a Princess Celestia to win and by the looks of his face it seemed that he had a good hoof in his hooves.

'Shit! If he risks it I'm going to drop my cards and I'll lose! Celestia if you love me please grant me this little wish...'

You reached the card and Hard Stone smiled looking at your troubled face. 'No! Chill out Anon! Focus in the game only'

"Here I go..." you slowly slid the card over the table and you lifted one of it's sides peeking what you chooses. It showed a small part of a Rainbow Mane, you silently gasped turning the card fully showing Princess Celestial in all her form and glory winking playfully at you with little hearts on her sides.

'Hell Yeah!'

You smiled and your face changed from a worried one to very very pleased. Hard Stone looked at you with a raised eyebrow as you chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Hmmm... I think I may have you this time Hardie"

"Hey! Only my wife calls me like that! If you have a good hoof then risk it!" he snapped angrily.

"Calm down dude, no reason to get a stick up your flank"

"Sorry... this new shift is driving me nuts! When is this new supposed to come!?"

"I'll see what I can do to help man but focus in the game now okay?"

"Right" he took a small breath calming his senses then looked at Fire Storm and you.

"Hot Hoof!" he say placing a five red, six black, seven red and a eight black. That was a good hoof indeed, Fire Storm dropped his cards showing a one red, three black, four red and a seven red.

"So Anon what is it?" He smirked leaning back in his seat pulling a cigarette, lighted it and took a small breath.

"Hmmm I think I'm going out with... THIS!" you placed your cards on the table "Watch and cry ladies!" Your fellow player’s jaws literally fell to the ground at the sight of your cards and the four Princesses on them.

"I-Impossible..." Fire Storm finally said spending the game completely on silence because, as he said so, talking made you sidetracked and vulnerable to potential failure.

"No way...you must have cheated!" Stone pointed an accusatory hoof in your direction and you raised an eyebrow.

"Me? How come I cheated? No horn remember?" You pointed to your forehead and the lack of a horn on it.

"Doesn't matter! You must be using a weird hooman thing to won that hoof!"

"Now now, that's a little racist don't you think?" you held your index finger tutting lightly "and just because I had a little bit of luck you call me a Cheater and throw down the table?, I must remind you that this is a friendly game between friends so there's no need to say those things at eachother"

He calmed himself sitting down in his chair

"I'm sorry man... you know I'm stressed with this shift problem and all..."

"Nah, Don't be" you gave him an apathetic smile "I would be very pissed myself if I had to work 36 hours nonstop 'Cause my replace didn't show up in time. No prob bro"

At that he smiled picking up the cards with his magic and mixed them ready for another round and mixed them ready for another round until another unicorn guard came in the room.

"Is Anon over here?" He said looking left to right looking for you.

"Yo buddy over here" you waved your hand at him and he walked up to you.

"Are you busy?"

"Eenope, just chilling with my fellas here"

"Good. The Princess requested you to assist her in the Royal Chambers now"

"Right now?"

"Yes"

"Better go and see what she wants then" you stood up lifting your arms over your head until you heard several *pop* sounds in your back before turning to him offering your chair.

"You game?"

"Yeah. I'm on a break now" he smiled sitting in the chair getting confortable.

"A pleasure playing with you guys I'll see ya later!" You went to the exit with your other friends waved goodbye to you.

"What a lucky bastard" fire Storm said after a while you left the room tidying his cards.

"He's the favorite of the Princess, what would you do?" the newcomer guard said shrugging his shoulders.

"I don't know... what I give to have such a chance to be near those flanks of her" Fire Storm said wiping his lips with his hoof.

"Couldn't be more right"

"Totally"

Hard Stone looked at his cards grinning like an idiot seeing two red nines and two black eights.

"Gentelcolts... do you feel lucky today?" He placed his cards in the table sighting contently not caring about everypony’s else groans.

"God damn Stone you start to talk like Anon, maybe you two should fuck eachother silly" Fire Storm say with a chuckle.

"I'll say... that is somepony else is being fucked today" Stone said tiding the cards "Who's up for another round?"