Randomzied

"Spike! Oh Spike! I got something for you!" Twilight called out from her library inside her castle.

It another one of those beautiful days with the birds chirping and all that kind of dorky stuffs. Everyone in Ponyville is outside getting the time of their lives but not for Twilight, she already found something that she really love and wanted to share it with her fellow ponies.

"What is it?" the baby dragon called out from the hallway, "I was taking my power nap."

"Oh come on, Spike. That's the fifth time this morning." Twilight says as Spike got into the library, "Surely you got enough rest for now." When she looks at him, she nearly let out a shriek.

"What, what is it?" Spike said, quickly looking around him to see anything that is the reason for the shriek.

Twilight look at Spike and said to him, "Spike, what happened to you?"

What she meant is that the way Spike look right now is, in meaning term, look pretty screwed up. His face had pocket of sore everywhere and he look like he completed his third tour in Vietnam. He looks sorta sagging and his body is the same width of a breadstick.

Spike look at himself then said, "Oh this? Well, long story short. I'd spent six days without sleep reading all the comic books that we got from the castle of the Two Sister. And from all over Equestria. And you wouldn't believe on how far I got on the book on the 'House of Ushers'. It was so terrible on graphic, I couldn't sleep for days!"

"Un huh." Twilight said, still not taking her eyes off from Spike feature.

"So what you got for me?" Spike asked, noticing a book that is sitting on Twilight lap.

Twilight lifted it up for Spike to see and said, "This here contained a lot of amazing short stories that were written in the human world. I got this while we were visiting there and it showed me a lot of valuable lessons. So, I called you here so I could share it with you."

She looks to her side and notice Spike is not even listening, just sleeping next to an armchair that she is sitting on.

"SPIKE!"

Spike woke up with a start and jump up into the air as he stammers, "What? What? Did something happen? Is there a murder because I could literally hear a heartbeat under the floorboard."

"That probably just your heart." Twilight said as Spike calm down. "Come and sit with me. You'll be fine."

When Spike sat next to Twilight, he asked her, "So, what the name of this book anyway?"

Twilight showed it to him and Spike could see the golden letters on the front cover and say the words slowly, "Randomized."

He sat back, thought for a moment then said, "Huh, I never heard it before. What it about?"

"Oh, you see." Twilight smiled as she open the front cover; flip through the index page until she at the beginning of a chapter. "Chapter one, Rapt Punzel…"

A while ago-however long it actually doesn't really matter-a poor couple lived in a shack in the woods.

They had money for a television but they couldn't afford cable. So they settled for watching the few shows they could catch on broadcast. When the wife learned she was going to have a baby, she got restless.

"Look there," she said, pointing to the high walls that surrounded the witch's home not far from their shack. "She has satellite TV. And all we have is broadcast."

"I'll fix that." her husband said. He waited until night, then took his tools and sneaked over to the satellite dish. He spliced a second cable into the line and ran it into his shack.

"Now we can watch everything." The husband said.

"Isn't that stealing?" the wife asked.

"We're not hurting anyone." Her husband said.

And so they settled down on the couch and watched the wonderful abundance of available satellite programming while they waited for their daughter to be born.

From the instant the baby girl, who they named Punzel, set eyes on television, she was mesmerized. She spent every waking moment staring at the screen, totally rapt.

So did her parent.

At night, in her cradle, she fell asleep to the comforting glow of the screen and the lilting melody of talk show theme songs.

One evening, as the husband and the wife sat at their couch, admiring their new baby and watching an ancient rerun of Doctor Who, they heard a knock at their door.

It was the witch. She wasn't smiling.

"I didn't do it!" the husband shouted. As he scream bounced back at him from walls of the shack, he realized he should have waited until he was accused of something before he started shouting denials.

"You stole my signal," the witch said, as she strode over to the crib. "And now I shall steal your daughter. You're lucky I don't turn you into a newt. Or a minnow." The witch snatched the infant from her crib and left.

She locked Punzel in a high tower with no exit except a small window.

Punzel didn't care. There was a TV in the tower. The witch got three hundred channels. And it was a BIG TV. Really, really enormous.

Each day, Punzel watched her favorite programs and surf the channels in search for new shows.

Each evening, the witch flew up to the small window and visited Punzel.

Together, they would watch reality shows and make fun of the contestants.

Years passed. Punzel grew into a young lady. And her hair grew long and full. The witch never cut it. Punzel never asked for it to be cut. She was happy watching TV, enrapt by the images.

One day, a prince heard a rumor of a fair maiden trapped by a witch in a tower. He traveled through the woods until he found her.

"Punzel!" he called.

"Shhh! Spongebob SquarePant is on." She said, not even looking over her shoulder. She'd seen this episode seven times, but she kept hoping that the evil Plankton will take the Krabby Patty formula. So far, no luck.

The prince wasn't easily dissuaded. He'd fought dragons and bested ogres. "Punzel, rapt Punzel, let down your hair," he called, "so I may climb on the golden stair."

His timing was perfect. A commercial for a miracle hair-growth formula had just come on. Punzel certainly didn't need that. And she felt it would be nice to have some company other than the witch for a change.

She grabbed an armful of hair, which by now filled nearly half the room, and tossed it out the window.

The prince, watching for below as the hair cascaded from the window, was the first to suspect this may have been a bad suggestion on his part.

Had Punzel every ventured into channels 245 through 267, where the science shows were stuck, she might have had a clue, herself, of the huge mistake she'd just made.

But as much as she knew about fashion, celebrities, entertainments and cakes, she was clueless about the basic laws of motion, force and acceleration.

Alas, ignorance of the laws of science does not protect you from them.

Her hair, all eighty pounds of it, along with another ten or twelve pounds of accumulated dust and debris, fell from the window until it was yanked to the stop, by her thick head.

Which, unfortunately, was perched on top of her less-thick neck. Which, even more unfortunately, having been weakened by years of motionless viewing and a diet lacking in sufficient calcium, snapped like a stale bread stick.

"Punzel?" the prince called after the hair had stopped falling. "Are you hurt?"

He didn't hold out much hope for an answer. Even from far below rapt Punzel's window, the sound of the snap was clear and loud enough to make him wince.

The prince left. The TV kept playing, even though nobody was watching it anymore. It didn't care.

When she finish, Spike said next to her, "How was that called a happy ending? How is this a lesson anyway?"

"Well, you see Spike," Twilight begins as she close the book, "Not all story have an happy ending. Some of them do but not all of them. And this is what happens if you don't go outside and exercise daily."

"What do you mean?" Spike asked.

Twilight pointed at him. "You haven't kept your body healthy on which by mean is that if you keep on reading your comic books like what Rapt Punzle did for the TV, you'll most likely going to get your neck snap."

As soon as she said that last word, Spike is already off, running toward his room while screaming, "Nooooooooooo!"

Twilight stared at the hallway then last a bit. That clearly gotten into Spike.

Will Spike go back to his comic books like he normally do?

Probably not.