Randomzied

by BlazingAngel

Rating: everyone
Tags: Anthro, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Slice of Life
Length: 6258

Finding a twisted story always mean a good story.

In this slice of life, Randomized wanted have have the most funniest and twisted short stories that everyone want to have a good laugh at.

Heavily inspired by the Weenies Short Stories.

I do not own some of the Weenies Short Stories and My Little Pony.

Just for a laugh.

Published 2016-02-23 21:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-22 15:40:25 UTC

Just a Game

Author's Note

Welcome to the world of Randomized! Usually for twisted and funny story, I got nothing to lose!

Anyway in this chapter, I want to tell you that there is no telling of what this chapter is about [though I can't tell you it] but here the beans; it use a boy wanting to play games but ended up playing the old console but something happen that was caught on his gameplay.

The rest is for you to find out so that all I'm going to say for now.

Enjoy.

Just a Game

Somewhere in Equestria…

"Please, Mom," Button Mash said, "Everyone else has the Game-Jammer system. Can't we get it?"

"If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you jump?" Button Mash's mom asked.

"Yeah," Button Mash said, "I mean-no." He realized there was no safe answer to that question, so he stopped trying to find one and went back to pleading, "Come on, I'm the only kid in school who doesn't have a new system. All I got is dad old Atari and that's from last century."

"If it was good enough for your father, then it good enough for me." His mom said with that tone that meant no more discussion.

Button Mash shook his head and stomp up to his room.

It wasn't fair. Every single one of his friends had the new Game-Jammer system. They got games streamed into their box right off the cable-real games, with 3-D worlds and awesome audio-while he stuck with that ancient machine.

The resolution was so low; you could see the pixels and the sound were a joke. Just beeps and buzzes. Half the time, the cartridges didn't even work unless you put them in just right or blow them real hard to get the dust off.

Button Mash plunked down on his bed and stared at the stupid old game. He felt like smashing it. Then his eyes wandered to the box and the game outlet.

Why not?

He opened the box to see if the power inside it would work and attached a couple of wires to the converter on the side. It was a tangled mess of wires and cables but he figured something interesting would happen.

"Here goes." He switched on the power.

Somewhere between Mares and Stupiter…

"It is a rich planet, and it will soon be ours," Mexplatle said as he examined the data flowing into the bank of instruments on the panel in front of him.

"Excellent," Rubnupshti said, rubbing his nose together in glee. "Any sign they will resist?"

"No." Mexplatle wagged his elbow. "Once we have landed and set up our shields, their primitive magic will not be a threat."

Before Mexplatle could say more, a warning flashed on his control panel. "Hang on to your fleexbriddle," he said. "We're heading for a field of asteroids."

Somewhere in Equestria…

"Unbelievable." Button Mash said as the game came up. "This is cool."

He grabbed a joystick and started playing. He'd never expected to actually get a game off the cable on the old system. But this looked great. There were asteroids all over the place, zooming toward him at high speed.

The resolution seems a little higher than any of his dad's old game, but it was still pretty primitive.

"Wow, that was close." Button Mash barely avoided the first huge rock.

He got the feel of the game pretty quickly and started making his way through the obstacles.

Somewhere between Mares and Stupiter…

"Franzleglip!" Mexplatle swore, yanking the controls with all his strengths.

"What is wrong?" Rubnupshti asked.

"I'm not in control. We are doomed. The ship is flying itself." He closed his eye and folded his ears as an asteroid shot right past them, just missing the view port.

"I knew I should have stayed home." Rubnupshti said.

Somewhere in Equestria…

"That was close." Button Mash said. He'd barely avoided a collision as three asteroids crossed his path with only a narrow space in between. But he was getting through the game.

An hour later, he finally saw an end to the asteroids field. Six more big rocks to get past, and he'd be finished.

Two asteroids, side by side, came at him from the top of the screen. He just managed to fit between them. He angled to the left to get past the next three.

There was only one more asteroid to go.

Somewhere between Mares and Stupiter…

"We've made it," Mexplatle said. "One more asteroid and we are past all danger. Then we can claim that planet for ourselves." He imagined all the wealth that awaited him.

He'd be famous. He'd be rich. It was wonderful.

Somewhere in Equestria…

This is it, Button Mash thought.

The last asteroid didn't even look that tough. In a couple of seconds, he'd win the game.

"Oh, Button Mash." His mom called from the hallway.

"What?" Button Mash asked, not looking up.

"Sometimes I forget what it's like to be a kid. I've got a surprise for you."

Button Mash glanced over. His mom was holding up a brand new video game system.

"Wow!" Button Mash dropped the ancient joystick and leaped up. "Can we get the Game-Jammer system, too?"

"Sure." His mom said.

Button Mash glanced back at the old Atari. On the screen, his ship hit the asteroid and exploded into a billion pieces.

Button Mash shrugged.

It didn't matter. The old machine didn't have very good graphics. He was sure the new games were a lot more realistic.

Sweet Soap

Time Turner, the world's youngest inventor, stood before his greatest invention, ready to run the first test. Built from an assortment of old parts he'd found in the basement and a few new pieces he'd bought from his allowance, the Transubstantiator would change the world. Time Turner was sure of that.

"So, how does it work?" his trusty assistant, Derpy, asked.

"Very complicated," Time Turner said, "Hard to explain."

"So you mean, in other words," Derpy said, "you really don't know."

Time Turner shrugged. "I guess you could say that. But it doesn't matter whether I know how its work. As long as it works, I'm happy."

Derpy examined the machine at every angle then asked, "I have one question."

"Ask away!" Time Turner said from behind the machine.

"Can it make muffins?" Derpy smiled, thinking about the deliciously smell and taste of homemade muffins. She should've gotten some at Sugarcube Corner when Time Turner came around and invited her to watch this experiment that he was about to make that will change the world forever.

It will change Derpy world if the machine actually makes muffins and she will love Time Turner forever. At least that the case.

Time Turner seems to teleport next to Derpy as he chuckle and place his hoof on Derpy shoulder, "Ah Derpy, you are so funny. You've been my trusty assistant for a long time now and I must say; you do have a knack of telling jokes."

"Um… thank you?" Derpy said with crossed eye.

Time Turner walks away from her and said as he approach the machine, "Like I said before, I do not know what this machine will make once I place a substance within the machine itself. Quick, hand me that soap."

"Okay." Derpy said, picking up a bar of soap on a table next to her and handed it to Time Turner.

"Thanks." Time Turner put the bar of soap into the container in the middle of the Transubstantiator. The soap was an extra-large bar that Time Turner had snatched from the spa bathroom cabinet in town. The container was an old butter tub. There was no longer any butter in it.

"Ready?" Time Turner asked.

"Is it dangerous?"

"I have no idea!" Time Turner put his hoof on the button, then froze. He realized that last statement was pretty unimpressive. He really needed to make a great and memorable quotation on this special occasion. He took a deep breath, and then said, "I do this for all of my fellow ponies." Then he pressed the button.

The Transubstantiator sprang into action, chugging and huffing and making a wide assortment of sounds normally associated with a wagon that is about to stop running or explode. When all the grinding and buzzing faded back into silence, and the last moving parts became motionless, Time Turner reached inside the container and removed the soap.

"Well?" Derpy asked.

Time Turner sniffed the soap. "I think it isn't soap anymore. I think it's candy." He took a bite.

"Well?" Derpy asked again. She wasn't alarmed. She'd seen her friend/mentor put things far more dreadful than soap in his mouth.

For a moment, Time Turner was so excited, he couldn't speak. This was fabulous. He'd succeeded beyond his wildest dreams.

"Here, try it."

Derpy, less eager than Time Turner, took a sniff. "It does smell sort of good." Then she took a small bite. An instant later, she took a huge chomp. "This is great!" she said between mouthfuls.

"Sure is. It tastes like all of my favorite candies mixed together." Time Turner ran through the house, collecting more soap. After he and Derpy had eaten their fill, he started sharing his invention with the world. Soon, every home had the Transubstantiator, even the royal castle in Canterlot and all the other capitals in the world.

Around the world, ponies were turning soap into candy. It was fabulous. It was delicious. It was great.

For a while.

Then Time Turner noticed that he'd gained a few pounds. He noticed that almost everyone he saw had gained weight.

Worse, everyone smelled. Very few bars of soap escaped the Transubstantiator. Very few folks took shower or bath anymore.

"I'd better do something about this," Time Turner told Derpy.

"Mmffff," Derpy said, trying to speak with her mouth full of candy.

Time Turner got to work and came up with the perfect conversion strategy. He constructed a modified model of the Transubstantiator. As the word spread, people flocked to his home, eager to see what he'd done.

"Watch," Time Turner said when he'd tightened the final bolt and was ready to test his invention.

He struggled to lift the old wheel he'd found behind the garage and put it in his new machine. Then he pressed the button.

The new machine sprang into action, chugging and huffing and making a wide assortment of sounds normally associated with a washing machine that is about to burst into flame.

When all was still again, Time Turner reached inside and pulled out an armful of soap, neatly cut into perfectly shaped bars.

That had been the hardest part of his new invention-getting the bars cut so neatly-and he was really proud of how well it worked.

"Soap." Time Turner said.

"Soap!" the crowd shouted. "Yay!"

They rushed forward and grabbed all the bars.

I did it, Time Turner thought as he posted the modification plans on papers to be posted all over Ponyville.

He was happy for the rest of the day. The next day, he learned that people pull all the soap they taken into their Transubstantiators. They didn't wash. They made more candy.

The ponies grew so fat and stinky that nobody ever invited them to visit. Not that it mattered, since they didn't have any wheels for their wagons or chariots, they couldn't go anywhere, even if they wanted to.

"I've got it," Time Turner told Derpy after a full week of brainstorming. "I've figured out how to turn chairs into wheels."

"Oh boy," Derpy said.

Time Turner hurried to the garage to start looking for parts.

Derpy hurried into the kitchen to find a chair to sit on.

She realized it might be her last chance.

Rapt Punzle

"Spike! Oh Spike! I got something for you!" Twilight called out from her library inside her castle.

It another one of those beautiful days with the birds chirping and all that kind of dorky stuffs. Everyone in Ponyville is outside getting the time of their lives but not for Twilight, she already found something that she really love and wanted to share it with her fellow ponies.

"What is it?" the baby dragon called out from the hallway, "I was taking my power nap."

"Oh come on, Spike. That's the fifth time this morning." Twilight says as Spike got into the library, "Surely you got enough rest for now." When she looks at him, she nearly let out a shriek.

"What, what is it?" Spike said, quickly looking around him to see anything that is the reason for the shriek.

Twilight look at Spike and said to him, "Spike, what happened to you?"

What she meant is that the way Spike look right now is, in meaning term, look pretty screwed up. His face had pocket of sore everywhere and he look like he completed his third tour in Vietnam. He looks sorta sagging and his body is the same width of a breadstick.

Spike look at himself then said, "Oh this? Well, long story short. I'd spent six days without sleep reading all the comic books that we got from the castle of the Two Sister. And from all over Equestria. And you wouldn't believe on how far I got on the book on the 'House of Ushers'. It was so terrible on graphic, I couldn't sleep for days!"

"Un huh." Twilight said, still not taking her eyes off from Spike feature.

"So what you got for me?" Spike asked, noticing a book that is sitting on Twilight lap.

Twilight lifted it up for Spike to see and said, "This here contained a lot of amazing short stories that were written in the human world. I got this while we were visiting there and it showed me a lot of valuable lessons. So, I called you here so I could share it with you."

She looks to her side and notice Spike is not even listening, just sleeping next to an armchair that she is sitting on.

"SPIKE!"

Spike woke up with a start and jump up into the air as he stammers, "What? What? Did something happen? Is there a murder because I could literally hear a heartbeat under the floorboard."

"That probably just your heart." Twilight said as Spike calm down. "Come and sit with me. You'll be fine."

When Spike sat next to Twilight, he asked her, "So, what the name of this book anyway?"

Twilight showed it to him and Spike could see the golden letters on the front cover and say the words slowly, "Randomized."

He sat back, thought for a moment then said, "Huh, I never heard it before. What it about?"

"Oh, you see." Twilight smiled as she open the front cover; flip through the index page until she at the beginning of a chapter. "Chapter one, Rapt Punzel…"

A while ago-however long it actually doesn't really matter-a poor couple lived in a shack in the woods.

They had money for a television but they couldn't afford cable. So they settled for watching the few shows they could catch on broadcast. When the wife learned she was going to have a baby, she got restless.

"Look there," she said, pointing to the high walls that surrounded the witch's home not far from their shack. "She has satellite TV. And all we have is broadcast."

"I'll fix that." her husband said. He waited until night, then took his tools and sneaked over to the satellite dish. He spliced a second cable into the line and ran it into his shack.

"Now we can watch everything." The husband said.

"Isn't that stealing?" the wife asked.

"We're not hurting anyone." Her husband said.

And so they settled down on the couch and watched the wonderful abundance of available satellite programming while they waited for their daughter to be born.

From the instant the baby girl, who they named Punzel, set eyes on television, she was mesmerized. She spent every waking moment staring at the screen, totally rapt.

So did her parent.

At night, in her cradle, she fell asleep to the comforting glow of the screen and the lilting melody of talk show theme songs.

One evening, as the husband and the wife sat at their couch, admiring their new baby and watching an ancient rerun of Doctor Who, they heard a knock at their door.

It was the witch. She wasn't smiling.

"I didn't do it!" the husband shouted. As he scream bounced back at him from walls of the shack, he realized he should have waited until he was accused of something before he started shouting denials.

"You stole my signal," the witch said, as she strode over to the crib. "And now I shall steal your daughter. You're lucky I don't turn you into a newt. Or a minnow." The witch snatched the infant from her crib and left.

She locked Punzel in a high tower with no exit except a small window.

Punzel didn't care. There was a TV in the tower. The witch got three hundred channels. And it was a BIG TV. Really, really enormous.

Each day, Punzel watched her favorite programs and surf the channels in search for new shows.

Each evening, the witch flew up to the small window and visited Punzel.

Together, they would watch reality shows and make fun of the contestants.

Years passed. Punzel grew into a young lady. And her hair grew long and full. The witch never cut it. Punzel never asked for it to be cut. She was happy watching TV, enrapt by the images.

One day, a prince heard a rumor of a fair maiden trapped by a witch in a tower. He traveled through the woods until he found her.

"Punzel!" he called.

"Shhh! Spongebob SquarePant is on." She said, not even looking over her shoulder. She'd seen this episode seven times, but she kept hoping that the evil Plankton will take the Krabby Patty formula. So far, no luck.

The prince wasn't easily dissuaded. He'd fought dragons and bested ogres. "Punzel, rapt Punzel, let down your hair," he called, "so I may climb on the golden stair."

His timing was perfect. A commercial for a miracle hair-growth formula had just come on. Punzel certainly didn't need that. And she felt it would be nice to have some company other than the witch for a change.

She grabbed an armful of hair, which by now filled nearly half the room, and tossed it out the window.

The prince, watching for below as the hair cascaded from the window, was the first to suspect this may have been a bad suggestion on his part.

Had Punzel every ventured into channels 245 through 267, where the science shows were stuck, she might have had a clue, herself, of the huge mistake she'd just made.

But as much as she knew about fashion, celebrities, entertainments and cakes, she was clueless about the basic laws of motion, force and acceleration.

Alas, ignorance of the laws of science does not protect you from them.

Her hair, all eighty pounds of it, along with another ten or twelve pounds of accumulated dust and debris, fell from the window until it was yanked to the stop, by her thick head.

Which, unfortunately, was perched on top of her less-thick neck. Which, even more unfortunately, having been weakened by years of motionless viewing and a diet lacking in sufficient calcium, snapped like a stale bread stick.

"Punzel?" the prince called after the hair had stopped falling. "Are you hurt?"

He didn't hold out much hope for an answer. Even from far below rapt Punzel's window, the sound of the snap was clear and loud enough to make him wince.

The prince left. The TV kept playing, even though nobody was watching it anymore. It didn't care.

When she finish, Spike said next to her, "How was that called a happy ending? How is this a lesson anyway?"

"Well, you see Spike," Twilight begins as she close the book, "Not all story have an happy ending. Some of them do but not all of them. And this is what happens if you don't go outside and exercise daily."

"What do you mean?" Spike asked.

Twilight pointed at him. "You haven't kept your body healthy on which by mean is that if you keep on reading your comic books like what Rapt Punzle did for the TV, you'll most likely going to get your neck snap."

As soon as she said that last word, Spike is already off, running toward his room while screaming, "Nooooooooooo!"

Twilight stared at the hallway then last a bit. That clearly gotten into Spike.

Will Spike go back to his comic books like he normally do?

Probably not.

Playing Solo

Human World

Button Mash fired a mortar round at the cluster of aliens. Perfect! It hit their group dead center, and blew them up in a geyser of brown soil and green flesh.

"Nice!" Whirlwind said. "I'll flank the other squadron while you distract them."

"Got it," Button Mash said into the microphone of his headset.

He pushed the right thumb stick to rotate the camera toward the other group of enemies. Then he tapped the D-pad to switch weapons. No use wasting mortar shells. He fired short bursts from his plasma rifle, knocking chips of stone off broken statues that sheltered the enemy. They responded by sending hail of blind fire in his direction.

"Almost there." Whirlwind said.

Button Mash pinned the camera back, but couldn't spot his friend.

"As soon as you attack, I'll move closer," he said. "Okay?"

Instead of answering, Whirlwind screamed, "Aliens!"

"Ouch! Stop that." Button Mash lowered the volume. "Of course there are aliens. That's the whole point of this game-to fight the aliens."

"No. Real ones!" Whirlwind yelled.

Button Mash rotated the view all the way around until he got back to the starting point. He didn't see anything that hadn't been there before. No new enemies had shown up on the radar map, either.

"Aaggggg! Noooo!"

A message scrolled across the top of the screen.

Connection Lost. WhirlRocks720 has dropped out.

"Very funny." Button Mash muttered. He had no idea why Whirlwind had quit, but he was happy to play the game all by himself. He switched back to the mortar, slipped closer, and took out the second group of aliens with another perfectly placed shot. Then, he headed over the ridge, where he suspected he'd find ammo crates and health pickups.

"I knew it," he said when he saw the stockpile of supplies.

Now that he had full health and plenty of ammo, he decided to keep going. According to the walk-through he'd checked before starting this session, there only five levels left. It would serve Whirlwind right if he missed out on the ending.

Half an hour later, Button Mash felt someone tugging his sleeve. "Can I play?" his little brother, Ruben asked.

"Go away." Even if Ruben had any chance of lasting more than five seconds in the game without getting vaporized by an explosive bow or blown to pieces by a Boomer, Button Mash wasn't going to put up a split screen, which was the only option for two players on the same console.

"Please…." Ruben said with a puppy eyes.

"I mean it," Button Mash said. "Go away!"

Ruben stormed off. Button Mash didn't even look up. He couldn't even care less about his little brother at the moment. He'd just discovered a laser optical weapon called 'The Hammer of Dawn' that shoots down a giant laser beam from an overhead satellite. Button Mash knew this weapon will be perfect when he attacked the stronghold at the end of the level.

Ten minutes later, Ruben started screaming. "Aliens! Help meeeee!"

Button Mash heard footsteps race through the living room, along the hall and into the kitchen. The back door slammed as Ruben ran into the yard. There was another scream, but Button Mash didn't pay any attention to it. His little brother was always screaming. Button Mash had more important things to deal with.

Finally, two hours later, Button Mash watched the credits scroll down the screen. "I did it." He'd beaten the game on his own, clearing the last five levels without any help from Whirlwind.

Button Mash dropped the controller from his half-numb hands and staggered to his feet. His back ached from sitting in one spot for so long, and his legs tingled. He didn't care. He'd just finished the game. That was the important thing. He needed to brag to someone about his accomplishment. Not just someone-he wanted to brag to everyone. But he'd start with the most convenient, and easily impressed, person.

"Hey, Ruben, where are you?"

No answer.

Button Mash walked out to the backyard. Instead of grass and a swing set, he found an enormous crater, like someone had set off a bomb. He went around the house to the front yard and looked down the street. Half the houses were on fire. A bunch of others were just gone, like a giant had scraped them up with a spatula.

Button Mash didn't see any people at all.

"Hey," he called, in case someone could hear him. "I beat Gears of War 3. All by myself. On the hard setting."

After a moment, Button Mash gave up and went back inside.

Might as well play another game, he thought.

There was no point wasting the day. He called a couple of his friends, to see if anyone wanted to play online, but nobody answered.

So Button Mash played by himself, and he was totally happy, until the electricity went off, the water stopped running, and the invaders made a second pass through town to wipe out stragglers.

Despite all his gaming skills, Button Mash didn't turn out to be a challenging opponent when he fought against real aliens. The battle was brief.

And then it was GAME OVER forever,

Gorgonzola

Pony World

Silver Spoon P.O.V.

I watched the blood drain from Diamond Tiara's face. Her mouth dropped open like her jaw muscles had been slit. Her eyes bulged as if someone had jammed high-pressure air hoses into both her ears and her snout. She pointed a trembling hoof at my parents' kitchen table.

"That is the most horrible thing I've ever seen. Or smelled." She clutched her snout and ran out of the kitchen.

I really couldn't argue. Even when they changed their way of personally, my parent ate some totally disgusting stuff. "Wait for me," I called.

"What was that?" Diamond Tiara asked when I caught up with her in the living room.

"Gorgonzola," I said. "It's kind of like blue cheese."

"Ugh, it smells like someone blew out their butt." She shook her head. "Who'd make something like that?"

I shrugged. "Not a clue."

But the question got me wondering. That night, after the cheese was safely wrapped up, I opened the fridge and looked at the label, Gorgon Farms Gorgonzola. The address was on Ponyville-Bayerton Road, the two-lane highway that, no surprise, ran between Ponyville, where we lived, and Bayerton. I told Diamond Tiara about it the next day in school.

"Hey, you know what a Gorgon is right?" she said.

"Nope."

"That's like Medusa." She said with an expression that I couldn't read.

This wasn't clearing things up at all. "Who?"

"Medusa. We read about it in last week during history class."

"Oh, it quite amazing that you actually paid attention for once."

"Well, it actually a cool story." She said it with an evil smile across her face.

I really hated that smile so I kept at it. "And you're going to tell me, no matter what I say. Right?"

"Right."

I didn't try to fight it. Diamond Tiara loved telling me stuff. So she told me about Medusa, who was so ugly that ponies who looked at her turned to stone. This stallion named Perseus killed her by using his shield as a mirror. When she saw her own face, she turned to stone. Then Perseus cut off her head. I didn't bother asking Diamond Tiara how you cut off a head when somepony's turned to stone. Perseus must have a decent sword.

"We are totally going to check this place out." She said."

"No, we don't. It's just some stupid farm. Probably a bunch of old hippies or something, living with cows or goats. Smelly ponies with smelly animals making smelly cheese. There's nothing to see."

"There must be," she said." A cheese that horrible has to come from a horrifying cheesemaker. We're going there right after school."

I knew better than to argue. Once Diamond Tiara decided to do something, it was easier to go along. So, after school, Diamond Tiara and I caught the bus to Bayerton.

The whole was there, she kept touching her backpack, like she had something important inside.

"What's in there?" I asked.

"Nothing."

"It has to be something."

"I'll show you later."

I could tell she wasn't going to give me a real answer. I sat back until we got close to our stop. Finally, the bus pulled over to the side of the road next to a small wooden sign for Gorgon Farms.

"This is such a total waste of time," I said as we got out.

"You have no sense of adventure." Diamond Tiara said.

"Adventure isn't always a good thing." I looked past the sign.

There was a gravel road curving out of sight beyond the trees.

Diamond Tiara led the way. I followed her along the road, which ran through a dense forest of trees. Eventually, we reached a field.

"I told you there'd be goats." I said.

Sure enough, behind a fence, I saw goats and cows. Chickens, too. The cows were grazing near a barn. There was a brick building behind the barn that looked like a small factory.

"Let's check it out," Diamond Tiara said, nudging me in the shoulder to follow her.

We walked up to the building, then crouched on either side of a window.

"Someone there," Diamond Tiara whispered.

A mare, dressed in a long white robe that reminded me of a bedsheet, was in the room, with her back to us. She had thick, wavy hair that reached past her shoulders. A large cage on a table held three chickens. The mare reached into the cage, pulled out a chicken, and raised it up in both hooves so it was level with her head.

The chicken jolted and jerked, like it had seen something startling. It let out a really pathetic squawk. And then it froze.

But that wasn't the weird part. It didn't just freeze. It changed color. The chicken wasn't brown and yellow anymore. It was white, with green and blue veins.

"Cheese!" Diamond Tiara gasped. I slapped my hoof over her mouth before she could say anything else. I didn't want the mare to hear us.

In the room, the mare took the cheese chicken to a table and started to cut it up into pieces. It wasn't bloody. There weren't any guts. The thing was solid cheese. Solid Gorgonzola.

I think guts would have been less disgusting.

The mare's mane wriggled and writhed. I realized it wasn't thick curls-it was thin snakes.

"We have to get out of here." I whispered.

"Not yet." Diamond Tiara put her backpack down, unzipped it slowly enough that it didn't make much noise, and pulled out a mirror. It was about the size of a sheet of typing paper. "I borrowed this from Ms. Cheerle."

"Are you crazy?" I couldn't believe she was going to try to turn the Gorgon into stone. I mean, cheese.

"I have to see what happens so that way ponies will recognize me for saving Ponyville from this horrible monster." She held the mirror in front of her face, stood up and shouted, "Hey! Look here!"

Not very subtle, but I guess it got her attention. I heard a pathetic squawk from inside.

Diamond Tiara grinned at me. "I knew it would work." She tilted her head downward and raised the mirror a little bit. So she could see beneath it. I looked away, just in case.

"Cheese feet," Diamond Tiara said. She raised the mirror higher. "Cheese legs."

She raised the mirror all the way. Then she let out a pathetic squawk and froze.

"Diamond Tiara!"

I touched her arm. My hoof sank into something soft and creamy. It was solid Gorgonzola. I guess the Gorgon was still too horrifying to look at, even after she was turned into cheese. Maybe she was even more horrifying now.

As sad as it was to lose a friend, there wasn't any point sticking around. It's not like I could do anything for Diamond Tiara.

I thought about breaking off a hunk of her for my parents, but that just seem wrong, somehow.

It took a lot of willpower not to sneak a peek at the Gorgon for myself, but I managed to keep turning my head toward the cheesy fate as I hurried away from the building.

I didn't relax until I got back to the road. Then, without thinking, I licked my hoof.

Hmmm. Not bad. Kind of tangy and buttery. It tasted a lot better than it smelled. Actually, it tasted really good. I'd bet it would be great on crackers. But I was pretty sure it would never become my favorite cheese. Not now I knew where it came from.

Blowout

The moon was full, but despite its light, the stars were bright. Yes, it was poetic. But poetry wasn't on young Shining Armor's mind. Power was on his mind. And his mind was full of power. From the time he'd first stared at the sky, he'd used his mind to tear apart the clouds. He'd made leaves fall from trees, and icicles plunge from rooftop gutters. He'd once caused a bird to drop from the air, but that had seemed wrong, so he concentrated on things that didn't walk or crawl or swim or fly.

Now Shining Armor was ready for something grander than clouds or leaves. "Watch this." He told his younger sister, Twilight. "You'll be amazed." He aimed his finger at a star and blew out a sharp burst of air, as if he'd been struck full force in the stomach.

The star flickered faster than before, dimmed for a moment, then it returned to normal.

"Cute," Twilight said. "But not amazing."

"Wait," Shining Armor said before Twilight could walk away. "I'd almost got it."

He puffed again, changing the forces to subtle ways. This time, the star vanished as if someone had splashed a blot of ink across it. The star itself, and all the light it cast, no longer existed.

"Gone," Shining Armor said. "Snuffed for good." He gave Twilight a dark smile, then pointed toward another star, brighter than the first.

"Stop," Twilight said. "You're always ruining things."

"There are countless stars," he said. "Nobody will miss this one."

"But what about Princess Luna? Surely that she will notice that the star is gone."

"Who care? It not like she will have the time to look at these stars anyway." He puffed it away.

"Or that one." He pointed toward the eastern horizon.

As he puffed, Twilight put her hoof in front of his mouth.

"Doesn't matter," Shining said as the star vanished. "It's like an X-ray, or a powerful thought. Nothing can block it."

He walked over to a large maple tree on their front lawn, put his face an inch from the trunk, and puffed right through it, erasing another star.

"Stop it," Twilight said. "Please."

Shining laughed and faced the west, turning his back on Twilight. "No. It makes me feel strong. I feel like I'll outlast the universe. Oh, there's a pretty one, all red and twinkly." He pointed toward the sky and drew in a breath.

"No!" Twilight tackled him. He was older and taller, but Twilight was motivated and she understood leverage.

Shining went down hard, with Twilight shoulder on his back. "Oof!" he puffed as his body struck the ground. The blast from his lips parted the grass.

Something changed.

Twilight rolled off her brother, wondering why the stars were suddenly so much brighter and the world around her suddenly so much darker.

All was black except for the stars.

"The moon," Twilight whispered. It was gone.

"How-?" Shining said.

Twilight pointed where the moon should have been, all full and bright. "I don't know. You didn't aim that way."

Another thought hit her, striking with more force than a tackle. "The moon doesn't make its own light."

They looked down at the ground. Twilight imagined the path of Shining's power. It had shot through the earth, just as easily as it had passed through her hoof or the tree. And it had struck a star on the other side. A star that warmed the earth and lit the moon.

Shining had snuffed the sun.

"Oh boy." Twilight said as she face-planted herself. "We're doomed."

"Hey, at least we give Nightmare Moon a favor." Shining said. He knew he'll regret this.

The stars overhead twinkled in an endless night. On Earth, the air grew cold. Shining outlasted the sun by several hours, but he didn't come close to outlasting the universe.