The Apple Tree of Life

by PonyThunder

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad
Length: 3348

Upon Granny Smith's death, Applejack finds herself remembering repressed memories she thought she had dealt with before.

Upon Granny Smith's death, Applejack finds herself remembering repressed memories she thought she had dealt with before. In the time following the bad news, Applejack is forced to face them all over again.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-24 04:00:01 UTC

The Apple Tree of Life

The birds did not sing amidst the treetops, nor did the woodland creatures chatter and talk to one another. Rain drizzled down from the darkened skies, falling onto the wooden rooftop of the Apple family's home, spilling messily off the sides. The air was wet and cold, filled with nothing but the soft applause of rain pattering against the damp, muddy ground.

Inside, the Apple family were going through one of the more depressing times they had ever experienced. Applejack and Big Mac had dealt with the loss of family members before, but for Apple Bloom this was a first, and she wasn't taking things as well as Applejack had hoped.  Everypony knew that Granny Smith was getting fairly old, but never once gave it a thought that she would ever be gone. Nopony would want to think about death unless they were forced to by circumstances out of their control.

The news of Granny Smith's death came in a quiet whisper during the night, discovered in her bed only by Applejack in the early morning when she did not stir from Applejack's awakening. A chilling silence drifted through the air as she realized that Granny Smith had become deceased in her sleep. Looking down on the peaceful face of her beloved granny, a million thoughts raced into her mind, all of them obscured by an aura of emotion that welled up inside her, threatening to seep out in a mournful wail that made her throat tighten and face become warm. Not now, Applejack thought to herself, pushing back her emotions into herself. Not now, not now, she repeated, audibly whispering the words. She needed to be strong, not for herself, but for Apple Bloom. She knew what it felt like to lose her parents, and when she did, she didn't have a big sister there to comfort her in her time of need. Apple Bloom needs me to be strong, she thought, but wasn't sure if she could be.

Applejack broke the news as best as she could as everypony came into the kitchen for breakfast. It hurt more than she could have ever imagined, seeing Apple Bloom and Big Macintosh come into the kitchen with smiling faces, knowing that she had to be the one to transform them into frowns.

"I...have some, well...news that you need to know," she said awkwardly as they came into the kitchen. The tone in her voice was somber and deep, Apple Bloom noticed. She hardly ever heard her sister talk in such a way before. "I don't know how to put this delicately," she continued, "so I'm just going to go out and say it: Granny Smith didn't wake up."

Big Macintosh immediately understood, and a mixture of surprise and dread spread across his face. Apple Bloom looked confused and dazed. "Whadd'ya mean, she didn't wake up? Ain't she always the one who's up real early?"

Oh, Apple Bloom, Applejack thought. Please, don't let this hurt you so much. There was no way of dancing around the subject, she realized. It was better to get it over with than drag it out painfully. "Apple Bloom...Granny Smith is deceased," she said with complete dead-pan.

"..wha--no, she can't..."

"It's okay, Apple Bloom. We all knew this day was comin', it was just a matter of time--"

"But she--she--she's just fine!" Apple Bloom's voice became more distraught. "Just yesterday she was showing me pictures from--she's fine!"

"Sugarcube..."

Tears welling up in her eyes, she ran into Granny Smith's room and stopped dead in her tracks in the doorway.

"Apple Bloom," said Applejack as she approached slowly behind her. "I know it's tough, but these things happen. To everypony." She paused and took a long sigh.

"But why," Apple Bloom replied and looked up to her sister, a surprising amount of tears in her eyes.

Stay strong, stay strong, Applejack repeated her mantra in her thoughts. Watching her little sister having this horrible experience was worse than experiencing it for herself. Looking down at this filly, she saw herself many years ago on the day their parents had died. Apple Bloom was just a baby at the time, but for Applejack, the experience was very real in her mind. All of the emotions flooded back to her, and once again she repressed them as deeply as she could. It's what she'd always done since that day. Emotions clouded judgement, and without proper judgement, bad things could happen. Everypony thought Applejack was as tough as a rock, but in truth she was as broken and tattered up on the inside as anypony else, if not more.

"Death is just a part of life," Applejack replied. "You just can't have one without the other. Come on now, let's not stay here." She led her little sister out of the room.

"I...need to go be alone," Apple Bloom told them both.

Applejack nodded to her sister.

Huddled up in her room under several layers of blankets and pillows, Apple Bloom lay curled up in a little ball, unsure of what to do with herself. She was more mature now, and growing up watching her granny get older and older, she thought that she would have been more prepared to face the facts when the time finally came. But she wasn't. The news had hit her like a train that had gone off the tracks, and continued to for several agonizing minutes until she had no tears left to cry out. She wanted to deny it -- deny that Granny Smith was actually gone for good. The idea seemed so bizarre and distant to her, but she could not escape it.

"Apple Bloom," said the low, concerned voice of Big Macintosh from a crack in the doorway.

She tussled her way out of the mound of blankets she had buried herself in to face him with dried tears on her cheeks.

"I know how tough this must be on 'ya," he continued, "but I want you to know that it's okay for you to cry and let it all out."

Hearing her big brother's soothing voice immediately brought calmness into her mind. She sniffled and replied, "But don't I need to be strong?"

"There's nothing wrong with letting yourself go sometimes. It's not healthy to bottle up your emotions. You can come down whenever you're ready to and we'll be there for you."

"Okay," she replied once again with another sniffle, and Big Macintosh left the room to go back downstairs and meet with Applejack to figure out what to do now in this situation, and couldn't help but wonder what emotions Applejack might be hiding underneath the surface.

The next few hours of the morning passed by slowly and painfully as Applejack and Big Macintosh were going through the details of the terrible task of removing Granny Smith from her bed and into a more suitable setting. The two stood by her bed, gazing at the sight of their beloved granny laying peacefully underneath the covers. She looked so at peace. It felt surreal to Applejack, thinking about the entire lifetime that she had lived, and how suddenly it had ended. She silently thanked nopony in particular that Granny Smith had died painlessly in her sleep. There were countless other ways that could have been worse. She decided not to think about that anymore.

"I never thought twice 'bout it," she said, breaking their solemn silence. "Just like that, it's just us three again."

A few more seconds passed and Big Mac replied with a wispy 'eyup' under his breath. He never was much for words, Applejack thought to herself. When their parents had died that tragic day, she remembered how he turned into a stoic shell of a stallion, unable to cope with the emotions that he simply didn't feel or say anything at all, and Apple Bloom was too young to comprehend. So, it was up to Applejack to be strong in the face of such dark times, and Granny had been the only source of comfort that she had. The memories surrounding her parents' death began to flood back to her. The eerie silence of Granny's entrance into their home with the rain pattering softly outside. The deep look of sorrow on her face, amplified by her numerous wrinkles and baggy skin. It was the look of devastating news, much like the news Applejack had to deliver just this morning. She wondered briefly how she must have looked to Apple Bloom and Big Mac. Now wasn't the time to let her mind dawdle, she told herself. Once again, she shut out her memories for fear of them escaping. Not now, she repeated once more.

"Come on," she continued. "Let's get this over with."

Un-tucking and pulling the lifeless Granny Smith out from beneath the covers, they slid her off the bed and onto a small wooden platform with two poles attached to the underside so that two ponies could carry it from underneath. Normally, it was used for livestock that had breathed their last breaths to take to their final resting place, but today it was to be used to carry Granny Smith to her coffin. There were to be no ornate or fancy decor, no frills or immaculate dressings. No spectacular ceremony or exciting party put on by the likes of Pinkie Pie. No, the ceremony would be short and sweet. Applejack knew that would be what she wanted. She would be buried out amidst the apple trees, where her heart and soul could live on forever.

It was to be a simple ceremony, but Applejack reflexively took responsibility for organizing the entire thing. She remembered the family reunion a few years back, how she had overdone it and made everypony uncomfortable in her attempts to make everything the most memorable. She vowed to herself to make sure everything about this event would go smoothly without a hitch. She would need to gather up everypony herself instead of by mail, for obvious reasons that the ceremony would need to take place in the afternoon and not in several days. Her mind wandered for a moment, then she left the house with nothing but her hat and made her way to Ponyville in the calm drizzle of rain pouring down from the sky. It was going to be a tough day, and she would have to continue being the bearer of bad news.

Applejack returned back several hours later, her mane drenched from the downpour of rain and no longer in a pony tail. But she had spread the news and informed everypony when and where the ceremony would be held. She had a couple hours to herself to prepare a speech for the funeral. She hadn't even given it a second thought that she would be the pony in charge of that, and for once she wasn't sure she could handle the responsibility. It was one thing organizing and overseeing a family reunion with happy ponies enjoying each other's company, but a funeral was no place for such things. She hadn't even been to a funeral before, she suddenly remembered. Nopony talked much about that kind of stuff.

Applejack sat down at a small wooden desk and took out a pen and piece of paper to write her thoughts.

Okay, you can do this,, she thought. Just write what comes to mind.

Granny Smith was the greatest granny I could ever have. She was always there for myself and my two siblings, through thick and thin.

Applejack struggled to continue further, but nothing would come to her mind. Come on, think!

"Ughh," Applejack groaned out loud in her frustration. Why was it so hard to talk about this? She loved her Granny with all of her heart. That's good, she thought to herself.

I loved her with all of my heart. We all did. She lived a long and prosperous life full of many adventures and hardships, but she always came through in the end.

Getting somewhere, she thought, but the next hour or so proved otherwise as she struggled to get more than a few more lines out of herself. She knew there was so much more to say, but couldn't place what it was, or why she couldn't say it.

A knock sounded on her door. "Applejack," said the sweet voice of Apple Bloom, "it's time to go." Applejack glanced at the clock and a surprised look washed over her face. She immediately picked up the paper riddled with scratch and erase marks and opened the door.

"Thanks, sugarcube. I lost track of time." Applejack looked down at her sister. "You okay, sis?"

"Yeah," she said with a sigh, "I'm alright."

"I'm glad you're okay," she replied, "and I'm proud of you for being so strong."

She looked up at her sister, whose hair was still damp and looked tired. "Are you okay?"

"Me? I'm fine, don't you worry 'bout me. How's Big Macintosh?"

"He's fine, I think. Can't really tell since he don't talk all that much."

"Yup," she replied with a small smile, "that's our brother alright."

The weather outside had fortunately stopped raining, but the skies were still a sea of grey casting a layer of shadow across Sweet Apple Acres. Situated near the top of a gradual hill, ponies from all around Ponyville sat on bales of hay arranged neatly in front of a tall apple tree that had been planted at the highest point, overlooking the entire orchard. Her five other friends were sitting together on a couple of hay bales.

Applejack nearly didn't notice them since they were all dressed in black. Pinkie Pie looked so stoic and neutral, wearing such non-exciting clothing. Rarity wore a funeral veil and a simple black dress to fit the occasion, as did Fluttershy. Twilight looked almost uncomfortable, sitting with her hooves at her side. Applejack realized after a few moments that the reason was probably because she and the other allicorns were practically immortal, and reasoned that she probably felt some level of guiltiness. Rainbow Dash fluttered down from the sky to meet them, and even she was wearing a black funeral dress. The casket lay next to a hole Big Macintosh had dug next to the apple tree.

For a moment, Applejack nearly cried but quickly caught herself, surprised at how easily she was beginning to break apart. Now now, not now. Applejack walked slowly up through the aisle between the hay bales past everypony as they quieted down and found their seats. Apple Bloom and Big Macintosh sat in the front row together, sharing a single hay bale.

"I want to thank y'all for coming out here today, 'specially in this terrible weather."

Okay, you can do this. Just read the speech and speak from the heart.

"Granny Smith was the greatest granny I could ever have. She was always there, in thick and thin, for myself and my two siblings, Big Mac and Apple Bloom. I loved her with all my hea--"

Her emotions struck her like a freight train carrying twenty tons of coal.

"I loved her with all my hear--" She struggled to get the words out of her mouth.

"I loved..."

Tears welled up in her eyes, her throat swelled up, and her face burned with an intense warmth. Not now, not now, not NOW, her thoughts chanted at her relentlessly. You've just gotta be strong and push through this!

She attempted to continue, but her voice came out weak and high-pitched. "We all loved her so very much--"

It was over. She could hold it in no longer, and the tears flowed like two broken streams down her cheeks. "I'm sorry--" she choked. "I'm sorry everypony..."

Applejack left from the front of the audience and made her way to a nearby apple tree, far away enough from everypony so that she could be alone, or at least she wanted to.

"Sis, are you alright?"

A weak 'no' escaped her mouth and she winced in sadness causing the water in her eyes to squeeze out even more. Apple Bloom sat down close next to her.

"You know, it's okay to cry."

"Well, maybe for someponies, but not for me."

"No," she replied. "For everypony. Including you."

"But..." Applejack stammered. She was starting to feel incredibly embarrassed in front of her sister, crying her eyes out. There were countless times where she was there to comfort Apple Bloom, but nopony had ever had to comfort her. Not like this.

"Why are you so 'fraid of showin' how you truly feel? You ain't got nothin' t' hide."

"I'm not afraid, I'm...I'm just...I just need to be strong."

"For who?"

"For you and Big Macintosh, and for anypony else that needs me for that matter."

"And what about when you need somepony?"

"Well..."

"...Applejack? When...mom and dad died...what did y'all do? You, Big Mac and Granny?"

"Well," Applejack started. Her eyes were starting to clear up. "When Granny delivered the bad news, your brother and I were devastated. It's not normal for ponies to go through somethin' like that at such a young age, but we had to. The farm wasn't going to tend itself, and Granny wasn't in the proper shape to do any of the hard-liftin'."

"That's it?"

"Well, mostly. I can't put it much plainer than that. Big Macintosh turned all stoic-like. He used to be such a blabber-mouth, you'd a' thunk he was a stranger if you met 'em today. But after that day, he didn't say so much anymore..."

Applejack frowned. "And I, well, I just knew I had to get to work. Nothin' was gonna get done around here if I didn't do it myself. It was my responsibility to take over runnin' the place."

She stopped for a moment. "And I guess that's why I am the way I am, sugarcube. I had to grow up in just a couple days."

"I never thought about it like that," said Apple Bloom, pausing for a few more moments, "but that don't mean you have to be strong all the time, 'specially now. We can take care of the farm, together."

More tears welled up in Applejack's eyes, but this time from pride in her little sister.

"Come on," continued Apple Bloom. "We need your help to finish the ceremony."

The sun began to peek its way through the clouds, sending scattered rays of warm light across the rolling grassy plains. Lowering the casket into the hole, Applejack and Big Macintosh softly slid it onto the soft, damp dirt.

"If it's alright with everypony, I'd like to finish my speech," said Applejack. "Granny Smith lived a long and prosperous life, full of countless adventures and many hardships, but she always came through in the end." She put her hat to her chest and lowered her voice. "She was the comfort in my greatest time of need when mom and pop passed away. She was the greatest Granny anypony could've ever asked for. And now that she's come and gone, she'll be free to look over Sweet Apple Acres for all eternity. It's what she would've wanted."

As more sunlight pierced through the clouds, they filled in the hole with fertile dirt until it reached the grassy ground above and patted it down gently. After a few moments of silence and contemplation, they dispersed from the area to leave the remaining Apple family to themselves.

Applejack sat down next to the apple tree overlooking their orchard. "It sure is beautiful, ain't it? The way the sunlight shines down on the farm?"

"Eyup," replied Big Mac, sitting down next to her. The birds in the trees nearby began to chirp and sing as the air became warm and bright from the sun. Apple Bloom joined them, squeezing between her big brother and sister as they sat together in a row against the trunk of the apple tree overlooking the orchard and shading them from above.

Granny Smith was the apple tree.