Whodunit

Chapters

She's Got A Golden Ticket
Like Sisters
Prank King
I'd Like To Play A Game
The Eyes of A Killer
Just A Joke
Down, down to goblin-town
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like...

She's Got A Golden Ticket

The sun blazed brightly in the sky over Ponyville, caught up in a busy day. With Nightmare Night fast approaching, everyone was roaring through the streets in preparation. Banners were going up, booths were being erected, and games were being constructed. It would be a night to remember for anyone there to experience it. However, six regulars at the event would not be attending this year, as would be explained by one very excited pony racing towards the park.

Twilight Sparkle and her friends were all gathered in the park for their weekly Pony Pet Play Date. As much as they’d all like to be preparing their costumes, there was simply nothing to be done about it; they wouldn’t dream of missing this day, as it was the only guaranteed time all of them would be free to spend time together in the same place. That was why the purple mare was so perturbed that Pinkie Pie hadn’t proceeded to present herself. The other mares had noticed her absence as well, and kept a sharp eye out even as they played.

“Any sign’a Pinkie yet?” Applejack called out, lazily tossing a ball as she relaxed under a tree. Rainbow Dash swooped in from above, her little aviator turtle puttering behind her. The pegasus shrugged, indicating that she hadn’t, before snatching the ball from Winona and rocketing into the air. Tank followed, leaving Applejack and her dog to shout up some very irritated curses and barks at the pair.

“Goodness, I hope she’s all right.” Rarity said, trying to coerce Opal down from the tree she’d gotten herself stuck into. A little telekinesis usually did the trick, but the uncooperative cat was getting smarter, and clutched to the bark by way of her claws. As she pulled, Fluttershy tried to assure her that Pinkie was likely fine; but the yowling, hissing and generally sour demeanor of the cat drowned her out.

“Relax, girls, I’m sure she’s fine.” Twilight said for her timid friend, sitting on a bench and turning through a few pages of her latest book. Owloysius sat vigilantly beside her, on the lookout for Pinkie.

“Hoo?”

“Hm?” Twilight asked, looking up at her little nocturnal friend. His head was twisted most unnaturally, and was looking down the pathway to the park. She strained her eyes to see what he saw, and made out what could only be described as a pink bullet zooming towards them. Distant at first, a high-pitched noise could me out as she got closer.

“…eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—“

With a bang, a smack, and the sorest snout she’d ever suffered, Twilight went somersaulting halfway across the park with Pinkie Pie, who’d been moving so fast she’d hardly noticed the other mare before she crashed. “Oof! Ow! Eek! D’oh!” A dozen different, varyingly humiliating sounds came out of the unicorn’s mouth, a fresh one with each impact on the ground. Finally, she rolled to a dizzying halt, birds and one very befuddled pink pony circling around her head.

“Yoo hoo?” Pinkie said in a singsong voice, twirling around Twilight’s vision. “Silly filly! This is no time for a nap, I’ve got extra-special news for everypony!”

“Ergh… what news?” Twilight asked, standing up and trying to use a hoof to rub away her headache along with the death glare she was sending Pinkie’s way. Then she noticed she was lacking a certain companion. Rainbow Dash swooped down first as the others began to approach, and voiced her opinion.

“Hey, uh, Pinkie? Did you forget what day it is? Where’s Gummy?”

Pinkie Pie stared up at her own bush of hair in offsetting glee as it rustled, and a little green alligator poked its head out of the cotton candy clouds. Dash just shook her head, her and her tag-partner Sanity throwing in the towel as Gummy hopped to the ground and joined the other pets. Applejack took a step away from the critter as it passed; any animal owned by a reality-warping pony like Pinkie was best treated with caution.

“So, uh, now that that’s answered,” AJ said. “what’s this big news you’ve got for us?”

Another rustle, and Pinkie pulled a letter out of her poofy mane. She unfolded it and proceeded to not read a single word of it. “You girls are NOT gonna believe this!” she said. “But, we all got invited to UNCLE NICKIE PIE’S ANNUAL NIGHTMARE NIGHT PARTY!”

In the background, Fluttershy conversed with a few chirping crickets as the other mares looked at their friend confused beyond explanation. “Are we… supposed to know him?” Rarity asked.

“Well, duh!” Pinkie replied, barely containing her gleeful giggles. “Uncle Nicodemus only throws, like, the BEST Nightmare Night parties EVER!”

Something clicked in Twilight’s brain, and her jaw dropped. “Wait a minute. Pinkie, did you say your uncle’s name was Nicodemus? As in, the Nicodemus A. Pie?”

“Yep-a-rooni!” the earth pony happily chirped back, and now the other mares were staring at Twilight.

“Uh, care to fill us in, sugarcube?” Applejack requested. Twilight looked at AJ and zipped from where she stood, clasping her friend’s face with both hooves.

“You’re telling me you don’t know Nicodemus A. Pie?!”

“…Ah reckon?”

Twilight, eyes burning with newfound determination, cast her gaze back to where she’d been sitting before Pinkie arrived. Her saddlebag opened up, and over a dozen large volumes came flying out of it, joined by the one she was reading before. They swamped the other mares, reading the titles as they passed. The Brindlehoof Ichor, Shadow Over Innsnout, The Colt Who Called Himself King. As they passed, Twilight elaborated. “Nicodemus the Inkwell is the greatest horror and mystery writer in Equestrian history! I’ve got a whole shelf dedicated to him at the library, his works have been chilling readers for over fifty years! He’s a master linguist, weaving images with his words and sending chills down your spine with every page! He’s…”

Applejack was trying to catch Twilight’s attention. “Uh, sugarcube? We get it. You can stop now. Twilight you’re goin’ fanfilly on us. CUT IT OUT!”

Try as she might, nothing she said got through to the mare, now caught up in her own little reality as she recalled every story she’d ever read by the old stallion. Applejack called over to Rainbow Dash, “Will ya take some dang responsibility an’ get Twilight under control before—“

Then she saw that it was hopeless on that front as well. Rainbow Dash was over by the bench, analyzing Twilight’s modestly-sized saddlebags with astonishment and perhaps a little twinge of fear. “…How did she FIT that many books in here?!”

Applejack groaned, feeling like the last sane pony in a growing cloud of crazy. Luckily for her, Twilight had set the books down and was now just lobbing questions at Pinkie Pie like grenades. “What’s he like? Where does he live? Is it far? When do we go?!”

Almost on cue, Pinkie’s back right hoof began to gyrate in circles, kicking up dust, and at the same moment her ears began to twitch. “Ooh!” she exclaimed.

BOOF.

In the middle of the park, a sudden upheaval of earth and grass alerted the mares that something had just crashed into the ground at breakneck speeds. They gathered around it to look closer, and were greeted by a sight that Twilight immediately defined as “macabre”.

It was a carriage, by a loose definition. Its lacquered wood was as black as midnight, with blood red trim leading to carefully-carved batlike wings on the top four corners of the stylized vehicle. There was no bench for a driver, and no horses or animals of any variety to pull it; but the subtle crimson glow on the entirety of the carriage told them that it was being powered by some spell. There were no traditional doors, only a single open entrance covered by a heavy tapestry colored indigo. Pinkie zoomed over to the side of the carriage, sweeping a hoof in front of it in presentation.

“We can leave now!”

The girls spent the next few hours hastily packing, and trying to find somepony to watch all of their pets and things while they were away. Once they’d finished, they reconvened at the park to find Pinkie standing vigilantly by the carriage. It was as if she’d never left; frankly, nopony was quite sure she had left. She lifted the curtain and beckoned them all into the carriage. Twilight was the first in, and immediately recognized the stylings of one of her favorite authors.

The seats were plush, sinking down into a state of pure bliss as Twilight took her seat. The colors chosen were a pleasing palate of burgundies, reds, and other warm colors. A single, magically-fueled lantern dangled off the ceiling and gave them precious light for what would likely be an evening trip. Pinkie Pie had explained to them earlier that even with a magically-powered carriage, they would only arrive tomorrow afternoon. The other mares were shocked to hear that Pinkie managed to keep in contact with a relative living on such a far edge of Equestria.

Rainbow Dash was the next one in, immediately claiming the seat next to Twilight and stretching herself out, laying her head on Twlight’s lap and placing her back hooves squarely where Applejack was about to sit. The farmpony glared at her rival, and with a simple swing rotated Rainbow Dash into a proper angle to give AJ a spot in the carriage. A gleam of triumph was in her eye as the orange mare fell back on her haunches; Dash just grumbled and wished death on her in silence. Rarity and Fluttershy entered without any incident, sitting on the opposite seats from the first three, and Pinkie Pie was the last in.

As she took her seat, Pinkie pulled a little switch on the ceiling. All the other ponies felt a shift as the carriage slowly cranked to life, little unseen flecks of magic dusting themselves off and going straight to work. The wheel’s groaned and turned, propelling the vehicle out of its self-made ditch and down the street towards the far edge of their little village. Ponies had to stop and stare at the strange sight, beating out even their more creative Nightmare Night decorations. Inside, the girls had already split off into their own little conversations.

“So, Pinkie,” Rainbow started off. “why hasn’t your uncle invited you to one of these things before? You love parties.”

“Actually, he does invite me! Ever year!” Pinkie explained. “But I’m always so busy-busy-busy helping all the little foals celebrate, I never have the time to come! So I write him a month or two before-hoof not to bother with the carriage and all.”

“Huh.” Dash scratched the top of her head, leaning back into her seat. “What changed this year?”

Pinkie’s face was immediately plastered with a grin made of nothing but obliviousness and childlike joy. “I forgot to write him!”

Dash buried her face into her hooves, trying to suppress a scream. To her side, Twilight Sparkle was buried into The Eyes of A Killer, the latest book from N.A. Pie. It was about a young swindler stallion in Trottingham who made a living faking his and other ponies’ deaths to scam victims out of all their bits. But one night, he discovers all of his past clients have been brutally murdered, in ways mimicking and mocking the ways he faked their deaths; and as he carries out his latest job he’s assaulted by a crafty, pale pony in a white mask. He'd have to use his wits and all his talent and experience as a swindler to analyze his own strategies and stop the killer before it was too late. She hadn’t gotten far enough to find out the killer’s deal or motives yet; or even if he was a living pony. It was mostly just something for her eyes to do while her brain fretted over leaving the library to Spike. She’d left him in charge before, but he was still her little assistant; it’d be criminal not to worry about the poor dragon, left all alone in that tree house.

Then again, he was a big boy. He could handle himself; she, on the other hand, was about to meet one of the most acclaimed authors of the last century! Any thoughts of Spike were pushed aside as she tried to arrange a cohesive set of questions to ask him, rather than babble like a lovestruck filly the first time she saw him. What to ask, what to ask… she pulled out her saddlebag and took a journal out from it, which immediately drew the attention of Rainbow. “There’s MORE in there?!”

The pegasus stopped herself before she completely lost her grip on reality, and decided to speak with Applejack instead. The most down-to-earth, sensible pony she knew. No way she’d go crazy talking to her. Dash sported a devilish little grin as she asked, “So, farmfilly, feeling the jitters yet? Gonna be one heckuva party, lots of spooky stuff. ‘Fraid ya might get scared and run off?”

Applejack knew a challenge when she saw one, and glared right back with her own daredevil smile. “Oh, ah know you’re not challenging me. You can’t even take a clap’a yer own thunder, much less some of the REAL scares me an’ the big colts’ll be dishin’ out.”

The mares leaned across the aisle, butting heads and barely restraining the excitement as they carried out their daring rituals.

“That so?” Dash asked. “Fine then, what say we call it a bet?” She stuck her hoof out and said “First one to scare the other ‘til she screams wins! And if I win, you’ve gotta give me your hat!”

Applejack froze, clutching her Stetson unconsciously as she weighed the risks. Would she dare let the opportunity to lose her hat come about, just to show up and embarrass Rainbow Dash?

Oh, wait a minute. Hay yes, she would. “All right, fine.” AJ came back with a mischievous shine in her smile. “But if AH win, you’ve gotta die yer mane! Gray.”

Rainbow gasped with all the hammed-up shock she could provide. “You’re on!”

Fluttershy was silent through the trip. Nightmare Night, being in her humble opinion the single worst night of the entire year, was not a prospect she enjoyed. But at least she’d been able to hide in her home before. Now, she was being dragged to some sort of party that was even scarier than the usual holiday fare. It was all she could do to keep from crying in anticipatory fear. “Luckily” for her, she’d brought Angel Bunny for emotional support. At the moment he was sitting on her head, munching on a carrot and looking quite ready to smack someone.

That left Rarity to discuss the upcoming event with Pinkie Pie. The unicorn had to admit, this whole thing was intriguing her greatly. She’d never been this far northeast in Equestria, and she wondered what the fashion scene and customs were like up here. “So, darling, how much of your family will we be seeing? Is this the day I finally get to meet your parents?”

Pinkie Pie covered her mouth and giggled. “Hee-hee, don’t be silly! My parents may be happier now, but they’re still rock farmers! Nightmare Night’s not really their thing. But I do think my cousin might be there. I haven’t seen her since the Gala!”

Rarity was dumbstruck by that one, and immediately decided to forgo further questioning to figure out who in Equestria had been present at the Grand Galloping Gala with even the slightest similarity to Pinkie Pie.

The night passed peacefully, with all the mares drifting off to sleep one by one. The carriage was surprisingly not bumpy in the slightest. A smooth ride took them all the way up to their destination. They all awoke the next morning to find their silent transport wheeling them through a downright eerie section of wilderness.

Outside the windows, they could see that they were in some sort of forest, but it was less wild overgrowth like the Everfree Forest, and more of a sparse, cold and wet sort of place. Mist hung a few feet in the air, clinging to every object its white tendrils could reach. Distant, echoing bird calls could be heard, deadened by the thick air. About this time, the mares began to really question their host. What kind of madpony lived all the way out here? It felt dangerous to even be there. They levied their concerns to Pinkie Pie, who just gave a flippant wave of her hoof and giggled again.

“Oh, you girls are just being silly-willies!” Pinkie told them. “Uncle Nickie Pie’s the coolest old pony, ever! I’m his favorite niece, ya know, ‘cause we both love parties and tricks and stuff! I Pinkie Pie promise, he’s awesome and you’re all gonna love him!”

A little chiming noise inside of the carriage caught everypony’s attention, and a second later the carriage stopped moving. Pinkie’s eyes lit up as she shouted, “We’re here!”

Taking no time to let the others out, Pinkie tore out the exit, leaving the bewildered curtain to flap helplessly and confused in the wind, letting the other mares step out. Excitedly, they began to follow Pinkie up the trail. They stopped when they actually looked where they were going:

Like a careless little filly, Pinkie Pie was traipsing up to what had to be the most horrifying home in Equestria.

Like Sisters

The five mares, still standing by their carriage let their eyes follow the path in front of them. It was a simple cobblestone road, flanked by pairs of dimly-lit lanterns accentuating the fog that was descending. A few hundred feet ahead of them was a simple courtyard, where the cobblestone formed a thirty-foot diameter circle, and on the side opposite them was a small staircase leading up to a truly massive home.

As best as they could tell, the once-whitewashed house was four stories tall; a pair of turrets at the back corners raised an extra two. The windows were covered by crimson curtains, denying anyone a peek at the interior. The house itself had been exposed to the mist for so many years, its pristine color had faded into a dull, lifeless gray. In the towers, roosts of owls, crows, and various other birds sat snugly. All of this was given an even darker, morbid coloration as a stormcloud rolled in from the west.

“Uh, we’re sure this is the right house, right?” Applejack asked, a hoof nervously tapping on the ground. Rainbow didn’t let that pass by, and jabbed a hoof in her rival’s side.

“Not scared, are ya?” she asked with a taunting grin.

“Ah am not!” AJ shouted back, looking a little flustered. “’S just… who in the hoof would wanna live out here?”

“Somepony who writes horror stories.” Twilight explained, partially to herself as much as the other mares. “A place as creepy as this would be great inspiration!”

“Maybe a little too great.” Rarity replied, casting a glance at particularly large spider weaving its web in the tree to their left. The five of them were about to head after Pinkie Pie when a clacking noise caught their attention; another carriage was coming. They turned and sure enough, its crimson aura was visible before the wooden beast itself rolled out of the mist, stopping on the opposite side of the road to theirs. A shadow shifted behind it, and a blue hoof pushed past the indigo curtain. The five ponies’ jaws dropped as one as Trixie stepped out of the carriage and dropped down to the cobblestone.

“And,” the “great” magician asked. “just what in Equestria are you commoners gawking a-ah-aaah…” Her eyes went wide as she recognized who she was talking to. That glimpse of shock faded fast, and was replaced by the haughty air they’d gotten used to in her first visit to Ponyville. Now, somehow she was the one looking offended. “Hmph! What are you fillies doing at an event as illustrious as this?”

Rainbow Dash’s eye twitched, and she took off like a bullet. She stopped only a precious few inches from Trixie’s face, glaring at the magician extraordinaire as she said, “Pinkie’s uncle is the one running this stupid thing, so ya better show some respect! A better question is, what’re YOU doing here?”

Trixie scoffed at the blue pegasus, and with a zap of her horn Dash went spinning like a top off into a nearby tree; specifically, the one holding the spider. The not-so-little arachnid dropped down onto Rainbow’s face, and motivated her into taking off into the air at nigh-supersonic speeds. The rest of the girls barely saw her transition from a pony to a speck in the air, and they could almost hear the silent screams of the spider as it was tossed over the horizon.

As all of this occurred, Trixie explained with a smug satisfaction, “I would have you know that I was personally invited by Mr. Nicodemus to provide the entertainment for tonight’s event. If it’s half as successful as my warm-up with your friend, this will be a night you’ll remember for the rest of your lives!” She took the moment to let out a particularly hammy evil laugh, and with a swish of her purple cape trotted off in the direction of the house.

Twilight glared and called out after her in a falsely friendly tone. “Careful walking this path by yourself, Trixie! I hear there are bears in these woods!”

It was almost imperceptible at that distance, but there was more than a little twinge of fear that went through Trixie as she walked away. The remaining four ponies shared a laugh with each other over Trixie’s acquired phobia, only to catch the faint sound of a hoarse pegasus screaming at the top of her lungs. It got louder and louder, until Rainbow Dash finally returned to ground with a solid impact on the cobblestone. She had a hoof to her chest, taking colossal breaths every few seconds, and wiping the sweat off of her brow.

She felt someone staring at her, and looked over at Applejack; the farmpony had an expression so smug not even Trixie could match it. Rainbow glared and panted out “That huff didn’t huff count!”

“Hehe, yeah, whatever.” Applejack replied. Now that all of them were gathered, they unloaded their bags from the carriage and started up towards the waiting house. As they approached the courtyard, the mist cleared, and even in the darkness, they could make out several other figures. Trixie, obviously, was standing close to the house, solitary and trying to look as distinguished as possible. There was at least one griffon, currently conversing with a light blue earth stallion dressed in business casual.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity immediately tried to split from the group and head towards the pair of stallions to the left side of the courtyard. Hoity Toity and Soarin, of all ponies, were attempting to have some sort of conversation. Sadly for the two fanfillies, a violet aura snapped them back into place, and Twilight frowned at them. “There’ll be plenty of time for socializing later. Right now we need to find Pinkie.”

Luckily, that wasn’t difficult at all. The pink mare was hopping up and down a short distance away, in front of a gray pony who looked very displeased to see her. Twilight and company approached and overheard Pinkie yammering about some story or other.

“…and I thought it had to be one of the bakers, but it turns out it was my friends the whole time!” She turned around and noticed the other five, before overdramatically gasping and grasping her companion by the neck, dragging her over to face her friends.

“And these are them! Weird coincidence, huh?”

“…Sure. Why not.” the other mare responded in an affected Trottingham accent. “It’s not as if you told me five minutes ago that they were here with you, or anything like that.”

Rarity observed the newcomer carefully, and it finally clicked in her head that this mare had been at the Gala. A string bass player, to be precise. “Oh, darling, is this that mysterious cousin you were telling me about?”

Pinkie’s face lit up like a star as the word “cousin” was mentioned. The mystery mare, on the other hoof, soured like spoiled milk. “Absoloonilutely!” Pinkie exclaimed. “This is Octavia!” She wrapped her other hoof around Octavia’s neck and hugged tightly; the poor gray mare looked like she was choking to death. “She’s Uncle Nickie Pie’s daughter, and my favoritest cousin ever!”

Once Pinkie finally deigned to let go, Octavia took a cautionary step away and stood on her hind legs, carefully adjusting her pink bowtie to its white collar; a fashion accessory entirely that Rarity appreciated in silence. Applejack, coincidentally, wondered why a pony would wear a collar with no shirt. The music mare coughed a bit, clearing her throat before falling back onto her front hooves and giving a polite and practiced smile.

“Yes, well, to be honest I'm not so sure Pinkie and I weren't switched at birth. It’s a pleasure to meet you all. Pinkie’s told me so much about you.” She noticeably cringed at that last part. Twilight couldn’t help wondering if she meant today specifically, or if Pinkie had been writing her constantly these last few years. “As my dear cousin said, my name is Octavia, and Nicodemus is my father; we’re very glad to have you all here. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’d really best be getting back to my friends before they start fretting.”

“What, without introducing me?” asked somepony behind her, in a slightly raspy mare’s voice. The others saw a white unicorn trot over, practically beaming behind her purple shades. Octavia’s misery only seemed to multiply her enjoyment. The gray mare sighed and gestured to her in defeat.

“Everypony, this is Vinyl Scratch. She’s a… close friend of mine.”

Scratch’s smile wavered for a second, for some reason; but that was dispersed as she greeted the others, reaching out a hoof to Rarity first. “Sup, Rare? Still doing the dress thing?” The unicorn nodded, shaking the DJ's hoof, and Scratch’s grin grew a bit. “Wicked.”

She looked over at Octavia, who was giving her an odd stare. Vinyl shrugged. “I’ve done some gigs for her. So, I’m guessing you’re the guest of honor?” the DJ asked, pointing a hoof at Pinkie Pie. The earth pony nodded vigorously. Vinyl nodded back, closing her eyes like she was contemplating something. “Sweet. Gotta say, you definitely look a whole lot more like the old colt than Tavi over here.” She smacked Octavia on the back with her hoof. “You’re smiling, for one thing!”

Pinkie giggled, and Octavia gave her such a glare that the other mares present could feel the wedge being driven between them. She snapped out with a hoof and grabbed Vinyl Scratch by her mane.

“Yowch!” went the DJ as her friend pulled her away.

“Sorry to cut this short,” Octavia called back to what Twilight suspected was everypony but Pinkie. “but we’re going to head inside. I need to have a little talk with Daddy.”

“So… why’m I going?” Vinyl asked, still trying to wriggle out of her friend’s grasp. Octavia just glared at her, which caused the unicorn to shrug, and give a calm wave to the other mares as she was dragged into the foreboding house. The door slammed behind the pair of mares, leaving Twilight and the rest sharing a few confused glances.

“She seemed nice.” Fluttershy said with a surprising lack of sarcasm. Angel Bunny shook his head in disappointment.

“Are you joking?” Rainbow Dash asked her. “That girl’s got a MAJOR stick rammed right up her—“

“—Assuming nopony minds, I think we’d best be heading inside.” Rarity alerted the others, looking up at the encroaching storm. A few drops of rain were starting to fall. But more interesting than the precipitation was the strange billowing shadow in the clouds. They seemed to disperse on command as the shade passed through them, until it finally broke free and descended towards the manor. The darkness seemed to grow darker around Princess Luna as she lightly placed her hooves on the ground in front of Pinkie and her guests.

“Luna?!” Twilight asked, in apparent shock. “What are you doing here?”

“Why would I not be here?” Luna asked, smiling with apparent surprise at meeting her sister’s student this far out of the way. “Any event such as this, by default, leaves an open invitation for my sister and I; we may attend at our pleasure. I am, however, more than a little surprised to see you this far out from Ponyville, Twilight. What brings you and your friends northeast?”

Pinkie Pie interrupted, jutting herself in-between the two mares and exclaiming “My uncle Nickie Pie’s the one that owns this awesome house! Isn’t that neat?”

Luna stopped mid-thought, and stared at Pinkie Pie. Her pupils widened a bit. “Nicodemus is… your uncle?...”

Her horn suddenly produced a strikingly bright light, ripping Pinkie Pie from the ground and dragging her up close to the Princess, who by now was smiling like a filly.

“Do you think you could introduce me?!” Luna squeaked. Pinkie was taken aback for maybe half of a second before she agreed, which elicited a squeal from the alicorn. “Oh, thank you! His Abyssal series is the most amazing thing I have read in a thousand years!” Nopony present seemed willing to alert the Princess she’d spent most of that thousand years trapped on the moon, presumably lacking books of any sort. Not even Twilight. She was far too busy sharing her boundless enthusiasm with the Princess.

They began naming off book titles to each other, each time squealing in unison as they both recognized it. This went on for nearly a minute until Twilight realized she had a shortcut. “Wait a minute, Princess, I’ve got his entire collection in my bag!”

Rainbow Dash averted her eyes from the insanity she knew was coming. The other mares watched in helpless confusion as an impossibly large number of books came out of that small saddlebag and swirled around the pair of fanfillies. Luna gasped and grabbed one of the books out of the air. “Twilight, do you think that Nicodemus might sign these for us?!”

The purple mare squealed. “I hadn’t thought of that! Maybe—hay, wait a minute.” Her horn still glowing brightly, the books she’d lifted were lined up in neat rows in front of her. She examined them closely, using that analytical stare to figure out what looked wrong with her.

“Horseapples. I think I forgot The Eyes of a Killer Limited Extended Release back at the library. This is my spare copy. Hmm… do you think I could take a copy from here and have him sign that?”

Applejack groaned loud enough for even the two mares wrapped up in their worshipping to hear her. “Girls, Ah can understand this is somethin’ ya both love. But can we please at least get in the hoofin’ house before ya go loopy-brained on us?”

Luna and Twilight shared a quick glance, and tried to blush as little as possible as they fell out of their stupor. AJ shook her head and asked Pinkie, “Anything we’re waitin’ on, Pinkie?”

“Nope!” Pinkie told her, looking up towards the front door. The porch was wide and, if not for the house it was attached to, it would look rather inviting with its pleasant summery decoration. The large brown doors remained shut, however. “Everything should be ready by now; Pompadour should be letting us in any second.”

“Good.” Rarity responded, pulling an umbrella out of her bag to repel the rapidly increasing downpour. “All this rain’s going to just ruin my poor mane if we don’t get inside soon. Wait a moment. Darling, who is Pompadour?”

“Oh, silly me!” Pinkie said, forgetting she hadn’t mentioned him. “Pompadour is—“

CREEEEAK, THOOMP

Every pony in the courtyard turned their attention to the big brown doors as they opened wide. Through it walked an olive green unicorn in a finely-pressed tuxedo, the aged stallion looking distinguished with his well-waxed pencil moustache and his balding but meticulously-combed white mane. His angular features were the definition of composure, and with a bow he gestured a hoof to the door, speaking to the guests with a posh, but surprisingly humble accent.

“Mares and Gentlecolts, please accept my gracious master’s sincerest apologies for making you wait in this dreadful rain for even a single moment. If you will please step inside, I shall escort you to the dining hall; Mr. Nicodemus will join you shortly.”

A roll of thunder passed in the sky above, motivating the guests to get a move on.

Pleased to get out of the rain, everypony approached the door as quickly as they could without degenerating to mob mentality. Ponies lined up, putting on their most regally-upheld stances as they trotted past the butler, presumably Pompadour. As they walked into the lobby, the luxurious crimson and maroon decorations caught their eyes.

They caught them so strongly, in fact, that no one noticed Pompadour’s withering gaze towards the rainbow-maned pegasus as she passed by.

Prank King

“On behalf of Master Nicodemus, I welcome you to Brindlehoof Manor. My name is Pompadour, and if you’ll all follow me, my master has had me prepare the dining hall for tonight’s festivities.”

The butler, apparently the Pompadour Pinkie Pie spoke of, was giving the guests a proper introduction as they admired the brilliant entrance to the manor. The outside, as dark as it had been, provided a perfect contrast to the striking, if overly-rich colors in this lobby, or parlor. Instead of a small hallway, or a more reserved sort of entrance, Nicodemus had been bold, and crafted a high-ceiling hall that stretched back a good forty feet from the front door. The interior was in many ways similar to the carriages that had delivered them. Everything was trimmed in black, adding a sort of emboldened pop to the warm red hues. In various corners and sides of the hall clusters of positively luxurious-looking chairs beckoned. Art from the greatest of the Renaissance ponies hung from the walls, framed and complemented by tapestries imported from the far eastern borders of Equestria, and their zebra neighbors. Even the more affluent guests were taken aback.

“I really must say, I admire his style!” Luna whispered to her sister’s student as they looked around. “You should have seen the homes of writers of his stature a thousand years ago; they’ve gone from dreary stone castles to… to this!”

As the ponies gossiped, commented, and chatted to each other Pompadour began to walk along a maroon carpet stretching from the door and all the way down to a door on the opposite side of the hall. A luggage cart was dragged by his side, with all the larger baggage the ponies had brought with them. Only Twilight remained with her saddlebags.

The guests followed the butler, slowly shifting into various cliques. Luna and Trixie, being a princess and a mare who thought she was as important as one, moved to the front. Octavia and Vinyl, seemingly joined by a teal unicorn and a cream-colored earth pony with a two-tone mare followed close behind. Then came Hoity Toity, the mystery blue pony, and Soarin came after. In front of Pinkie and her guests went the griffon and a yellow mare with an orange mane.

As they walked, Pinkie leaned back to her friends and whispered “No time to explain. Just follow my lead!”

Twilight and the others tried to question her, but the pink mare became silent and stoic after her little message, intently watching as Pompadour opened the next door in their path. The hallway that revealed itself was significantly darker, lit by a few carefully-placed lanterns in contrast to the vast multitude of lamps hanging above and around the entrance hall. He walked straight down, and the guests followed. But when Pinkie went through the door, she hung a left.

The other five looked as they came into the hallway, and saw the path branched off in that direction, leading to a staircase leading up. Pinkie was quickly hopping up the steps, about to leave them behind. The mares shared a look, and shrugged in resignation. They couldn’t get in THAT much trouble if it was Pinkie’s uncle’s house, right?

Outside, muffled by the dozens of feet of wall and home between them and it, another roll of thunder made its slow call, and shook the house and the air. A bad omen if Twilight had ever heard one, but it was too late now. They followed Pinkie Pie up the stairs, curious as to what she was doing.

As it happened, she had stopped off at the second floor, and was now crouched in the hallway. The mare looked back with a shockingly severe look, and shushed them as they stepped into view. On reflex, the ponies crouched, and slowly crept up to the same spot as their friend.

“Pinkie!” Rainbow hissed. “What in the hoof are you doing up here?”

“W-we should really be getting back to the others…” Fluttershy faintly protested. Even Angel Bunny seemed a bit on edge. This hallway was not quite so tastefully arranged as the first floor. It was simply dark. The reds had been replaced by darker burgundies and blacks. The only light came from where Pinkie pointed as a response to Dash’s question.

A dozen feet down the hallway, one door on their left was ever-so-slightly cracked open, and the orange glow of candlelight poured through the crack. The mares all shared another glance, and silently communicated the agreement to check it out. All of them save for Fluttershy, who simply kept silent, in both the verbal and communicative sense. There was no arguing with her friends right now.

Pinkie Pie nodded and took the lead, moving in exaggerated sneak-steps down the hall. Rainbow Dash and Applejack followed, practically trying to fight each other off to be second in line. Twilight stuck herself in as fourth, leaving Rarity to coax Fluttershy into coming with.

Pinkie stopped as she got up to the door, and made a shushing noise to her friends before holding up a hoof to her ear. The others listened closely, trying to make out whatever she did, and through the door they could hear sounds. It was a voice, faint and fevered.

“…no, no, won’t ever do…maybe she was always dead? No, no, too cliché… Maybe it’s all in her head from the start?”

Whatever he was talking to himself about, that whispering voice sent a chill down their spines. It was soft, almost crooning, and yet old and just a bit crackly. Pinkie peeked around the corner, and ducked into the room. The others followed, feeling very nervous.

Inside was a sparse room, no decoration on the window-lacking walls save for a single family portrait of an old stallion with an adorable gray filly up on his shoulders. In the far corner of the room, a single desk was situated, with several stacks of paper sheets a foot high rested by the chair of the stallion they had been hearing. A single candle illuminated his work, and even though his back was turned to them they all could see the feverish intensity he was writing with. Suddenly, he grumbled “No, no, this will never do!” and tossed the crumpled remains of his latest work to his right, passing over the thirty other sheets that had met similar fates to smack Pinkie Pie right in the face.

Then, the girls frozen in icy fear as the stallion stiffened in his seat. “That certainly didn’t sound like paper hitting wood…”

The chair scooted out from the desk, and all the ponies save Pinkie—who was grinning like a complete idiot—took a step towards the door. The effort was too little, and too late. In a spin, the mystery pony hopped up and turned to look at them.

He was a unicorn, and clearly old despite his lack of wrinkles save the lines under his eyes. His coat was a very light red, almost salmon-colored, and his eyes were like bright rubies. His mane, likely once coifed but now a discordant mess, was white with a single, faded streak of its original red running through the right side. His mouth was concealed by a white, prestigious chevron moustache. But even beneath that, his scowl was visible.

His cutie mark was concealed by a black cloak, wrapped tightly over the top of him and adding a sinister cut to his figure, perfectly accenting the menace he was exuding to the mares before him. He took a step forward, straight for them. Then another, and another. His horn began to glow with a dark crimson aura.

Twilight tried to move, but found herself frozen with fear. Being closest to Pinkie, who was closest to the advancing old stallion, she whispered “We need to go! Come on—“

She was cut off and listened carefully as the pink pony muttered something over and over again.

“ohboyohboyohboyohboy!”

At the end of his seventh step, the glaring pony was now only a paltry foot from Twilight and Pinkie, the other mares intimidated enough to have backed away another step. Trying to salvage the situation, the lavender mare blurted out an apology. “We’re, uh, very sorry mister!” she said as a bead of sweat dropped off her face. “We were just looking around, and, um, we didn’t mean to intrude we just—uh-uh—“

Then, the flabbergasted unicorn stopped and saw as the scowl on the old colt’s face shifted in a mischievous grin. He leaned in even closer, and in a villainously deep voice said,

BOO.

As his mouth opened, a room’s worth of black smoke billowed out from within, catching up all six of the mares in its tendrils. All the visibility was snuffed out in an instant, and the mares began coughing in complete shock and confusion, as within the tumult they heard Pinkie shriek, and then begin to laugh at the top of her lungs.

“ga-hack, hack Twi!” Rainbow coughed out. “Use a spell or something!”

Twilight recognized that that was actually a pretty good idea, and her violet aura filled up the room as a great gust of magical wind carried the smoke away. Left behind in that empty room were five mares staring at a very confusing scene.

The stallion had Pinkie Pie in his clutches; specifically, the tips of his hooves as he relentlessly tickled her sides, blathering out “gitchie goos” and other silly sounds as poor Pinkie fell to the floor, helpless. “BAHAHA, cut it out cut it out!” she screamed, waving her hooves around to try and deflect him. But the old stallion was persistent, and he grinned as he said back,

“Not until you say it!”

“N-n-never!” Pinkie retorted, trying her best to look defiant instead of laugh herself to death. The white-maned stallion tutted, and reached into his cloak with a malicious glint in his eyes.

“As you wish, little Pinkie! You have forced my hoof!” The colt pulled out his most potent weapon: a gigantic white feather.

The mare gasped in horror, and proclaimed “You wouldn’t dare!”

The old colt raised an eyebrow and threatened back, “Wouldn’t I, little Miss Pinkamena?”

Pinkie Pie gulped, and knew this was no bluff. She bowed her head, and humbly said with more than a bit of fake ire, “You are, and always shall be, the Super Prank King Extraordinaire.”

The old stallion kept glaring for a moment, before finally his expression softened. In that instant, he transitioned from a threatening looking, sour old colt into a youthful, excitable-looking one not unlike his niece. He laughed, with a voice both strong and jovial, before wiping a tear from his eye. “Oh-ho, darn tootin’ I am, little Miss! And I’m still going to be for quite some time, so you’d best get used to it!” He extended a hoof to Pinkie, the family grin plastered onto his face. “Now get back up, kiddo, and introduce me to your friends.”

Pinkie smiled back at him in the same way, and put his hoof up against his. Sadly for the old colt, a fresh barrage of static electricity zapped him as Pinkie Pie pulled herself up before releasing her grip to reveal her joy buzzer. The stallion glared at her in mock resentment as she gestured to him.

“Everypony, this is my Uncle Nickie Pie!”

The old stallion, Nicodemus himself, blushed a bit as he gave a humble bow. The sort of bow that allowed him to open up his cape, and send a torrent of bats straight into his niece’s face. The pink mare shrieked and began to bolt around the room, suffering her punishment for that joy buzzer gag as Nicodemus continued the introductions himself.

“Charmed, really!” he exclaimed, stepping forward to shake hooves with all the mares present, addressing them one by one as he did so. “Misses Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, I can’t even begin to tell you what a pleasure it is to meet you all!”

Angel Bunny gave a neglected glare at the old stallion as he continued.

“I think I’ve got a whole shelf dedicated to letters from my niece about you girls!” Nicodemus explained. “I’ve been trying for years to get you all up here so I could meet you myself; I’ve gotta say, I’m impressed at the little gaggle my little Pinkamena’s rounded up. So what brings you up to my work room? Not that I’m not happy to see such a lovely young bunch of fillies come to visit me…”

The mares giggled, and Applejack spoke for them. “Well, actually we’re not so sure. Pinkie came up here first, so Ah’m guessin’ she wanted to see ya before the big meet an’ greet.”

“Right!” Pinkie shouted as she passed by, a few bats still hot on her trail. Nicodemus chuckled at seeing that.

“Well, shucks, she always was a big softie. Can’t even wait five minutes to see her old uncle! Er, um, sorry if I’m being rude but, everything okay with your friend there?”

Applejack observed Twilight Sparkle sweating profusely, trying to force some words out of her throat.

“Come on, dear.” Nicodemus encouraged. “Out with it, I promise it’s quite fine.”

Seemingly emboldened by that, Twilight stammered a moment before yanking a copy of one of his books from her saddlebag. Rainbow Dash facehooved in the background; this was gonna be embarrassing.

“I’m so sorry, but I absolutely adore your works, I’ve been reading everything you’ve ever penned since I was a little filly! I-I can’t even begin to describe the genius of your characterization, your scene-setting, your thematic subtleties—and, I’ve just got so many questions! A-and maybe I was hoping you would… sign a few things??”

Twilight seemed breathless for a moment, before finally Nicodemus let out a good guffaw. “Miss Sparkle, you really ought to calm yourself! There’s nothing I love more, Celestia help my ego, than talking with a fan! But, hm, come to think of it, I really should be heading downstairs soon.”

He mulled it over a minute before his face implied he’d reached a compromise in his head. “Tell you what, the main event for tonight’ll be the big dinner Pompadour’s serving. If you’d like, I could save you a seat at my table, and I’ll answer—or sign—anything you’d like.”

Twilight stammered, and then yammered, “I-y-yes! Of course, absolutely! Thank you, thank you Mr. Nicodemus!”

“Oh, it’s no trouble.” Nickie Pie dismissed with a wave of his hoof. “Now then, it’s been a pleasure meeting you all, and I look forward to talking more throughout the celebrations; but there’s only so much I can communicate through a letter, so I’d like a few minutes alone with my niece to catch up. We’ll join you downstairs in a moment, ok?”

The other mares agreed, and quietly said their goodbyes before slipping out the door. Twilight was the last out, closing it behind her and joining in the others’ quiet conversations as they left the Pie family to their business to go and join the others. The feasting would begin soon, and none of them wanted to miss a single moment of it.

I'd Like To Play A Game

The last echoes of that dreadful laugh still rolled through the halls as Twilight and co. were roused from their slumber. They all exchanged glances, increasingly worried. They questioned, for a moment if what they had all seemed to hear was even real, or a dream. But those thoughts were dispelled as noises came through the walls: voices, the shuffling and clopping of hooves on the floor. Other ponies were waking up, and they were getting out of bed; they must have heard it too.

KRAKOW

All the girls leaped from their covers at once as the lightning flashed outside the shut curtains, illuminating a cleaved path of the room a lighter shade of blue; at that same moment, someone was banging on their door. “Hey, girls, open up!” came the scratchy voice of the DJ, Vinyl Scratch. Applejack was the closest one to the door, and flung it open to see a crowd of individuals, most of the guests arrayed outside their door.

“Good, you’re all here!” Vinyl said with a dose of relief. “C’mon, get out here, you all heard that laugh, right?”

“Y-yeah, we did.” Applejack said, stifling a yawn as she and the other Ponyville mares dazily walked into the hallway. Their initial impression was true; it seemed like everyone really was standing out there, exchanging nervous glances and chattering about things their exhausted ears couldn’t quite make out yet. “What’s the matter, Vinyl? Everypony up an’ about?”

“We cannot find Miss Trixie anywhere!” Luna explained, her rear hooves nervously shifting and pawing at the ground.

“She never came to our room tonight, and now that laugh!” Carrot Top continued. “We were hoping you girls might’ve seen something of her, nopony else has.”

“No, we haven’t seen anything.” Twilight responded, rubbing her eyes groggily. “Are you sure anything’s wrong, everyone? It might have just been an old record or—“

“AIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!”

Everyone’s eyes immediately drifted to the staircase. That had come from below, and the voice was unmistakably Trixie’s. There was no point in standing around asking questions anymore, and in a massive train the party guests rushed down the staircase and back to the ground floor; Pinkie Pie and Gustave wound up at the front of the group, leading the others in as they stepped out of the stairwell and charged down into the dining hall. Everyone slowed their steps, and looked at the scene in confusion.

Though the decorations and colors of the dining hall remained the same, the furnishing was entirely different. The long dining table had been relocated to one corner of the room rather than the center, and in its opposite corner, in front of the fireplace, several bookshelves and a comfortable recliner were parked. On either side of said recliner was a pony; to the left, the butler Pompadour stood in grim silence, hoof over his heart, and saying a few quiet words as the fire gave the slightest hint of tears on his cheeks. On the right side was Trixie, who looked more to be in genuine shock than any form of sorrow; her chest was expanding out and caving in at a rapid rate, and her eyes were dim and unfocused even as the others approached.

“Miss Trixie? Yoo-hoo?” Pinkie asked as she approached ahead of the others. She waved a hoof, but the magician gave no response. “Come on now, don’t be all catatony-phony! What’s the matte-t-ta-ta-ta…” Her eyes, slowly drifting from the pony to the armchair, grew as wide and unfocused as the magician’s, and her pink jaw gaped.

“N-n-n…”

Twilight attempted to step forward, but a long foreleg was placed in front of her; Princess Luna stepped forward and lit up her long horn, its dark aura lifting the armchair out of its snug position to rotate around and show its contents to the others. Everyone present immediately wished she hadn’t done that.

A grisly scene was laid out before them; Nicodemus Pie still sat snugly in his lounging chair, a pipe still rigidly gripped in one hoof and a red-stained book on his lap. His luxurious purple robes hid most of the blood on them, but his skin was less suited to such a task. His head was leaned back against the back of the chair, as if it had been forced up like that, and a single red line ran across his throat in an unbroken, horizontal direction. The thick liquid had bubbled down from there and to his chest, where it collected in the largest swathes and stains.

Everyone present recoiled from the sight, and most averted their eyes. Bon-Bon’s stomach revolted, and she emptied its contents onto the floor, causing those closest to her to back up another step.

The Princess stamped her foot, and her eyes began to glow. “WE DEMAND TO KNOW WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR SUCH A HEINOUS CRIME IN OUR PRESENCE!”

The force of her voice pushed the already in motion ponies in more, chaotic directions. Twilight attempted to step forward to question Trixie; the obvious choice, really. But she was beaten to the punch as a gray earth pony stepped forward, fire and brimstone in her eyes.

“You.” she spat in a hoarse whisper, straight towards the so-called Great and Powerful Trixie. Still breathing rapidly, the caped pony could only whimper in shock as Octavia grabbed her by both hooves and dragging her in close. “Tell me what happened to my father, or you are glue.”

“I-I-WHAT?!” Trixie asked, eyes bugging out, still unable to process what was happening. The musician raised a hoof to smack her, but a violet magical hoof shoved her away. Twilight stepped forward, glaring at Octavia.

“We’re not going to learn anything about what happened like that. Let me try.” She turned back to Trixie, who was shaking now, and gently put a hoof up to her face. “Trixie. It’s me, Twilight; I know you don’t exactly, you know, like me. At all. But you do know me, and you know I only want to help. Please, just calm down and try to explain what happened.”

Trixie continued to pant, but after a minute her breaths began to slow. They were ragged, and she looked ready to die from the stress, but Trixie was calming down. Finally, she began to talk. “I-I don’t know how it happened. I’ve just been wandering, I haven’t really felt like sleeping yet. Then I heard this—this evil laugh!”

The other ponies nodded at each other silently. At least THAT part of her story was accurate.

“So I came down here, because I heard it coming from here, obviously, and I—I saw—that!” she pointed with her hoof at the body of Nicodemus, but refused to look at it. “I screamed, and that’s when his butler came rushing in. You all showed up a minute later… I think.” She bowed her head and muttered, “I sort of freaked out for a minute…”

Luna stepped forward, and wrapped a wing around the traumatized unicorn. “Do not fret; we shall find who is responsible. But, you must be exhausted, and thirsty. Come, let us fetch you a drink.”

The Princess led Trixie out of the room, and through the door into the kitchen, out of the eyes of more than a few ponies who hadn’t wished to see any more of her. Twilight watched as Octavia directed all of her hatred into her eyes, and aimed it for the magician. She glowered like that until the very moment that Trixie disappeared behind the door. Then, something changed in her eyes. It was like she’d gone from the cold mare she’d been all day into… into a filly. A scared, confused little foal. The gray pony’s eyes swelled with tears, and they began to rain onto the floor as she fell back onto her haunches.

Vinyl approached Octavia from behind, watching in pain and confusion as she tried to think of what to do, what to say as the other mare quietly sobbed. Her cries were drowned out by those of her cousin, who by now had shifted from shock into utter despair; she had grabbed the nearest pony, Bruce, and was now bawling into his shoulder as loudly as her prodigious lungs would permit.

Vinyl removed her sunglasses as she drew up next to her companion, unsure of what to say to her. She gingerly lifted up a hoof and placed it on Octavia’s shoulder. “Tavi, I’m—“

“GO! AWAY!” the other mare snarled, smacking away Vinyl’s hoof with her own before doubling over and redoubling her sobbing. The unicorn took a step back, and her distraught face could only hint at the torture going on in her own mind as she turned away. She took extra care to ensure her sunglasses were placed back on her face. It’s not good PR for fans to see a musician cry.

Confused chatter shot back and forth between everyone present, trying to make sense of their situation, but Twilight was currently absorbed in her own mind; trying to make sense of all of this. Who in Equestria would kill a kindly old pony like Nicodemus? Especially when so many powerful individuals were present in the house. It couldn’t have been for any pragmatic reason. Perhaps they wanted to… show off?

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!”

The guests turned towards the kitchen, and at the same moment the doors were bashed open to let Princess Luna jut her head out. “We require everyone in the kitchen, this instant! I believe it is vital to solving our current dilemma!”

Confused, the others hoped that whatever Luna had found would explain further what was going on. What they found was far worse than that.

Inside the kitchen, Luna sat in the corner, wing wrapped around the shivering body of Trixie; they were faced in the opposite direction of what was instantly recognizable as the source of the haughty magician’s torment. The décor was simple, whites blacks and chromes being the only hues to be found. On the linoleum floor, bloody hoof marks led from the door they were all standing and in, stopping at a row of cabinets across from them. In crude, erratic writing upon the wall was a message written in fresh, crimson blood stolen from Nicodemus’ neck.

WELL, HELLO DEAR GUESTS!
I SEE YOU’VE FOUND MY LITTLE PRESENT; CONSIDER IT MY CONTRIBUTION TO THE NIGHTMARE NIGHT FESTIVITIES!
SPEAKING OF WHICH…
YOU KNOW WHAT I JUST THOUGHT? IT’S BORING BEING LOCKED IN A HOUSE WITH A MANIAC, WITH NOTHING TO DO, RIGHT? SO!
IN THE SPIRIT OF NIGHTMARE NIGHT, I PROPOSE A GAME!
I’LL START TAKING VICTIMS PREEEEETTY FAST, SO I’D SAY YOU’VE GOT UNTIL MORNING BEFORE YOU’RE ALL DEAD. HA!
YOU’VE GOT FROM NOW UNTIL THEN TO FIGURE OUT…
“WHODUNIT”?
HAVE FUUUUUUUN!

“That… that can’t be right.” Hoity Toity squeaked, eyes nearly popping out of his skull as he read with the others.

“But he already got Nickie Pie!” Soarin fretted. “He’s not bluffing; we gotta figure out who did this!”

“What do you mean figure out?” Carrot Top, looking ready to smack the Wonderbolt for his stupidity. “Look at these!” she pointed at the ground, at the bloody hoofprints. “We already know that whoever did it was a pony; and since only two of us were even awake when it happened, we’ve got it narrowed down to him—“ she pointed at the butler. “—and her.” and then at Trixie. The pony, still sobbing, looked at the farmpony with a look of sheer bafflement.

“Ya know, you’re right!” Soarin agreed. Others began to speak up, indistinguishable in the crowd forming as they lined up against the magician and the butler, who were slowly backed into a corner. Twilight stepped in between the group, raising her voice to try and calm them down. “Everyone, stop this right now! We have no proof!”

A kitchen knife shot through the air and embedded itself in the wall approximately an inch from Twilight’s ear. Her face immediately began to pour sweat as she ducked. The crowd took a step closer, before—

“SHE! SAID! STOP!”

Everyone stopped in their tracks, and turned to see the source of the voice. The last pony they expected to see with any sense was standing before them, stern eyes under the brim of a tweed deerstalker cap. “Everypony needs to calm down, right now. We’ve got a game to win!”

“Now zat, is somezing I should have seen coming.” Gustave remarked, an impressed smile on his beak as Pinkie walked over and plopped a bowler hat on a surprised lavender mare’s head. “Not one to let your feelings hinder ze greater good, are we?”

“Pinkie…” Twilight asked, confused. “where did you even get these hats?!”

“Silly filly!” Pinkie giggled, rubbing her sidekick’s head. “I snuck them along in your saddlebag!”

“WHAT?!” screamed Rainbow Dash from the back of the group, though her cries of confusion fell on deaf ears. The others had their senses trained on Pinkie Pie, who was pacing in front of the gory message left for them and blowing into a bubble pipe in one hoof.

“If this slimy-sicko wants us to play a game, then by Celestia, we’re gonna play a game!” Pinkie shouted, waving the pipe every which way as she continued to pace and think. “The killer could be any one of us… it could even be somepony entirely different! If it was, they could have been hiding anywhere in Brindlehoof Manor. Therefore, I say we split up, and look for clues!”

“Uh, split up?” Bon-Bon asked, speaking up for what seemed like the first time. “Isn’t that a tad, I don’t know, insane?”

“Insane enough to WORK!” Pinkie replied, smacking Bon-Bon’s nose with her pipe. “See, the killer’s just A killer, right? One pony, or griffin, or whatever! That means if we split up into groups of three, they’ll be outnumbered no matter what! But if they’re NOT in our group, they could easily avoid all of us in this big ol’ house; so we’ve gotta split up to cover more ground at once.”

“Wow, Pinkie.” Twilight said with a hint of shock. “That’s surprisingly well-thought out.”

The party pony turned back to her sidekick with a stern look, and the faintest hint of a smile on the corners of her lips. “Anypony that messes with my family gets no mercy. Pinkamena knows how killers think…”

Twilight was about to question her friend, but a deep chill in her bones quickly warned her that she absolutely did not want to inquire deeply into that mystery. She stood by in silence as Pinkie Pie lifted a hoof. “I’ll split up the groups!” she said with authority. A few ponies exchanged glances, but no one spoke up in protest.

“First, Princess Luna!” she said, pointing at the midnight mare. “Would you be all right taking Fluttershy and Carrot Top to check the towers?”

The Princess bowed, and smiled graciously. “Of course, Pinkie Pie. This is your family's home, and tonight I shall do as you command.”

Fluttershy, taking a few nervous glances at Carrot Top, tried to speak up. “Um, this may not be such a good—“ but she was cut off by a kick to the foreleg by Angel Bunny. He glared at his rival in anticipation; tonight would be the culmination of their feud, and he wouldn’t let his pushover of an owner ruin that.

“Awesome!” Pinkie squealed, before pointing at her orange pal. “Applejack; you, Rainbow Dash and Soarin can check out the top floor!”

“Er, right.” Applejack said, clearly nervous about this whole situation. “What’s, uh, what’s up there if ya don’t mind me askin’?”

“Oh, just usual house stuff!” Pinkie said innocently. “Creepy caverns, secret passageways, dusty old attics, maybe a spider or two…” she was stopped as Applejack pulled her Stetson over her face.

“All right, Pinkie, Ah get it! Just… just get the other groups together, so we can get this over with!”

Rainbow Dash, as serious as the situation was, couldn’t help but snicker at her rival’s jitters as Pinkie pointed her pipe-holding hoof at her own cousin. “Octavia, you take Mr. Mane and… let’s see… Vinyl Scratch.”

“Yes!” said the DJ, in a whisper too low for anyone else to hear.

“You three’ll check out the third floor; everypony’s stuff is up there, but I know you don’t mind going through other ponies’ things!”

Octavia looked miffed, and replied indignantly “Just because I read your diary ONE TIME does not mean—“

“Too late! Bored!” Pinkie said, quite clearly brushing off her cousin’s retorts to move on. The cellist glared as Detective Pinkie next selected Rarity, Pompadour, and Hoity Toity. “You all can take the second floor. Uncle Nickie Pie kept all his records up there, so maybe check out if he was writing about anypony that was mad at him?”

“Excellent idea, darling.” Rarity said, approving with a nod. Though whether it was a genuine appreciation for Pinkie’s leading skills, or an appreciation for being with the two most sophisticated stallions of the group was hard to tell.

“So that leaves… Lyra, Bon-Bon, and Trixie!” Pinkie said with excitement.

“Yeah, but, where do we go?” Lyra asked with a shrug. “You already named all the floors besides this one.”

“That’s right.” Pinkie said, mulling it over in her head. Suddenly, a bolt of inspiration hit her. “Oh, that’s right! You girls can check the basement!”

“B-b-b-basement??” Trixie asked, having recovered from her catatonia only to look ready to go back into it for the third time that night. “Why in Equestria would you send ME to the BASEMENT?! Isn’t that, you know, where the killer always hangs out?”

“It is!” Pinkie said, a conniving grin stretching her lips. “But if this guy’s smart, then he’s going to know that, so he’ll avoid the basement completely!”

“Oh…” Trixie said, relieved for a moment. Then, a second emotion hit her, as she realized the gesture Pinkie Pie had made towards her by completely removing her from the danger. “Th…thanks.”

“Thanks for what?” Pinkie asked, confused. Trixie sighed and told her never to mind. With all the others assigned, Pinkie leveled her hoof at the griffon baker.

“Gustave, you’re with Twilight and me!”

“Excellent, Miss Pinkie.” Gustave said, bowing to her before drawing up beside his newfound companions. “What, precisely, shall we be doing?”

“We’ll be here on the ground floor, checking out these clues, and then we’ll be doing a circle around the whole house! As veteran detective (and assistant), Twilight and I have the most experience with all this, so we need to share our super sleuthing skills with everyone else.” Pinkie explained, a bit of pride in her gleeful demeanor. Gustave nodded in understanding, and turned to the others.

“Well zen. It seems we all have our ‘orders’, no?”

Everyone nodded, others more excited, fearful, or generally freaked out than others. Nopony was really sure that this was an excellent idea, but it was the only one they had. Pinkie Pie pointed her pipe at the door out of the kitchen, and back the way they came as directions to her fellow guests as they prepared for the longest night of their lives.

“Mares and Gentlecolts! Go forward, and WIN THE GAME!”

“Oh!” Twilight spoke up, realizing they’d forgotten something. “Everypony, check any doors you find when you pass them; we don’t know if they’re all locked, and if one’s not then it might just be our ticket out!”

All the guests present gave a firm nod of agreement, and stepped out the door.

The chase was on; though it was difficult to tell who was the one doing the chasing.

The Eyes of A Killer

As all of these circumstances unfolded, Ponyville rested peacefully on the other side of Equestria. No news had arrived in such short time, nor would it for a matter of days. So, it was only with the slightest hint of nerves that Spike wandered he and Twilight Sparkle’s home well into the night. As he sat in the main room, looking at all the bookshelves he’d dusted for the third time, it occurred to him that there really wasn’t much to do with his big sister/mother/boss amalgamation of a pony missing. His face was cupped in his hands as his feet idly tapped out a rhythm on to the wooden floor.

Wow… what do I even DO when Twilight’s gone? The CMC’s all probably asleep, and the only ponies I really hang out with are Twilight’s friends!

“I really need to get a life…” he murmured, glancing up at the clock as it ticked away the hours. His eyes then drifted over towards the front window. Utter darkness outside. He hadn’t been able to sleep all night, and considering this was his primary activity without anypony else around, that was unusual. He’d had this strange feeling in his gut for a few hours now; at first he wondered if it was that weird soufflé-gone-sour that the Apple family shared with him, but that wasn’t it. When Apple food went wrong, it went wrong fast, but he hadn’t yet felt the call of the little dragon’s room. Whatever it was, something was bothering him, and it wasn’t going to let up anytime soon. He needed a way to take his mind off of it.

“Wait, what’s that?”

Spike hopped up from his seat and wandered over to the table by the door, where a meaty little volume sat unattended. “How in Equestria did I miss this?” Spike asked, wondering if his assistant librarian skills were slipping. He reached up and pulled the tome off of the table, giving it a closer inspection.

“The Eyes of a Killer… by Nicodemus Pie. Oh! Must be one of Twilight’s personal copies; probably took this second one out by accident.”

Spike continued to examine it as he wandered back to his seat, flipping over the cover to read the summary on the back. It certainly seemed interesting: mystery, intrigue, bloody murder. Maybe it’d be worth a read? It would certainly be better than just sitting around feeling lousy all night, the little dragon reasoned. With that in mind, he jumped back into his seat, reclining as he flipped open to the first page…

Chapter 1

You don’t know me; and tell the truth? That’s just the way I like it.

I’ve got a lot of names. Shifty Shades; Chestnut; The Dealer; Roadie Mayfly. There’s dozens, an alias for every case. You, though? After what’s happened, I think you can just call me by my real name. It’s Cherry, for the record. Yeah, yeah, I know the drill. That’s a mare’s name, you say. I know that as well as the next colt, but you don’t get to pick the name you’re born with. Come to think of it, maybe that’s why I switched it around so much.

But none of that matters anymore. I’m in a mess, and I don’t even know if I can save my own sorry tail this. But why should you care? You don’t even know me. But maybe it would help if you did.

I should start from the beginning of this whole mess.

I grew up in a nice slice of Manehattan. Simple, everything in life came to me easy; it got boring. The only excitement I ever got was from my friends. Ashberry, Needle Spin, and Wallop. Just four foals with too much money, too much time and not enough moral upbringing. We were thrill-seekers, finding the most daring stunts and taking them to levels nopony else would dare. Did we break a few limbs? Yes. Was it fun? Oh-ho, yes.

But as we got older, some weird sense of “maturity” started settling in. We realized that we shouldn’t just sit on our parents’ dough forever. We needed to make our own living; but we sure as sugar weren’t working stiffs by nature. So what could we do? Well, we thought back to our old pranking days, and we found we had one talent. One collective thing we were all really, really good at.

We could make ponies disappear.

The night this nightmare of mine started was about a month ago. Spring. Ten o’clock at night, and everypony was out raving at the newest joint in Manehattan. Some ritzy joint called “Howdy Hullabaloo’s Howitzer’uvva Nightclub and Restaurant.”

Did I say ritzy? That’s what the “fine gentlecolts” of this city call it. But if you couldn’t tell from the name, it’s just about the sleaziest joint you’re ever gonna find. I don’t think I’m even allowed to describe what went on in there. But hay, does that even matter at this point?.. Ah, buck it, who cares anymore.

All you need to know was how it happened.

…

A hip little number in go-go boots with a smile that could blind you, and a horn that shimmered so much you’d think there was glitter on it. Gray coat, and a shooting star cutie mark, all topped off by a platinum mane so full and long it must’ve taken her the whole day up until then just getting it brushed.

This was Glam Rock, an up-and-coming pop diva in clubs of this nature; and she was my newest mark.

She trotted up to the door, cutting past the long line of angry patrons looking for a ticket in, up to a minotaur in a white suit and a begrudging look that said “You’re lucky I was told to let you through.”

It wasn’t needed, though; he said as much to her out loud as she passed. Don’t ask me how, but this little dam had made some enemies. She stepped through the door and into a dimly-lit red corridor. The entry-way, and a perfect little spot for a rendezvous before the big night. She approached a couch, on which a bright-red stallion was lounging, with casually spiked burgundy mane, and the most offensively red suit you’d ever find. Me.

She sat down, and nuzzled up against me. Fake-cuddling with drop-dead gorgeous mares, with a need to NOT call the next morning in the hoofing job description? Truly, my career was a taxing one; I don’t know how I managed.

“Is everything ready?” she whispered into my ear. Sweet nothings from a distance, but strict business from my position.

“Of course, toots.” I crooned back, flashing my best scumbag smile. Can’t lie, that wasn’t part of the act. That was just me. “Boys’re in position. Just head on up to the penthouse, and get your pretty little flank in your spot. I’ll handle the rest.”

“Fantastic.” she said, pushing herself up and looking as sultry as possible towards the casual onlooker. “Oh, and what about little Crystal?”

I waved her off with a casual hoof. “Relax, toots, relax; I said it’s handled. She’s allll taken care of.”

She nodded, and gave me a different sort of smile; a thank you, I guess. The thing about my job that I loved and hated the most, was that I had this way of running into all these ponies better than me. She hadn’t given us a single bit until she was certain her little filly was somewhere safe. What? I said she was a dam.

She walked away, but I waited a bit longer. All part of the job. Gotta give her some time to get in place, as well as make sure I’m not creepily tailing her. After I thought about three minutes had passed, I stood up and walked inside.

The first floor of the establishment was your usual nightclub material. Everything flashed between purple, blue, and green with the pulsating lights, and the beats shook the whole place so much I expected support beams to fall on me. But none of that was my concern: I needed a bathroom, and stat.

Sure enough, in a dinky little corner of the building I found an abandoned colt’s room. Perfect for my needs. I stepped inside, locking the door behind me as I approached the mirror. Time for a little makeover magic. I reached into the pockets of my clothes and pulled out a few various things I’d need. First order of business: a prosthetic horn. I nestled it inside my mane, at which point good old Needle’s spell took effect. A stinging pain a hoofing sight worse than I’d expected prickled my skull as the fake horn “fused” with me.

The thing about being an earth pony is, it makes it real easy to shift species for a job to improve your disguise. With that perfectly in place, I took out a pair of bright green contacts; my salmon-colored eyes were a bit of a rarity. So covering those up made me even harder to identify. Then, the final body-altering substance came in a little can of goop. I took a bit out and ran a few streaks through my mane and my tail. Lo and behold, a few minutes later I had black streaks through my burgundy pile of uncombed monstrosity, which soon became a bit more presentable as I ran a comb and brush through it.

By the time the styling was done, nopony would have recognized me; even WITH the suit. Then, it was time to create my character. I placed the makeup back in my pockets, leaving out some mascara and eyeliner, along with a little can of spray. I took the eye products and gave myself a neat little black outline. Then, I took some more and carefully dripped in down my cheeks, assisted with a bit of water from the sink. I may have been one effeminate stallion, but at least it was clear I’d been crying my eyes out. MOSTLY clear. To complete the illusion, I took the spray and gave a little spurt of it to each of my eyes. The chemicals reacted underneath the confining nature of the contact lenses, and the whites of my eyes went puffy and red-looking. If I screw jobs up, I don’t get paid; I never took chances on the disguise. The story had to be watertight. And my own little master of illusions, Ashberry, was just the pony to whip these things up when I needed them.

I looked myself over carefully, checking for any mistakes I’d missed. I found none, though. I was one hoofing jilted coltfriend. One that just might be angry enough for a little bit of revenge. Placing the last of my effects in my pockets, I put on my best snarl—a darned good snarl, mind you—and I smashed my way out of the bathroom. A few nearby ponies stared, but that was good; I needed attention, I needed everyone to know just how aggravated this perpetrator was.

I stomped my way past the dancing club-goers, and went up to the elevator. The bouncer for the club penthouse looked me over; he was a big boy, to be sure; a light blue stallion positively rippling with muscle and in one of those fancy bodyguard suits that made brutes look somewhat presentable. He gave me a once-over, peering down from his shades, and I looked back at him.

Then, I winked. “Game time, Wallop.”

The “bouncer” gave me a quick wink, muttering something into his radio to let me up. On cue, the elevator opened, and he gestured inside for me. I followed the way he pointed, and walked inside. A comfortable little thing, with some music I didn’t care to recognize wheedling away in the background. I was focused, both in-character and out. I’d only get one chance, and I couldn’t hesitate. This had to be perfect.

I heard a ding, and the elevator doors opened. The penthouse was exactly what you’d expect; carpeting everywhere, some of it shag. Some of it on the hoofing walls, even. A fancy, future-tech-looking bar with some expressionless bore serving up the drinks. Some of the best and brightest of Manehattan—that’s not saying a lot—were there, having a drink and sharing the latest bit of gossip they’d stumbled upon. A half-staircase out past all of that hubbub led up to a balcony, and my mark. Glam was standing up against the window, talking with some stiff in a suit and colored the most dull shade of blue you could picture. I think it was her manager, but I never asked.

This was it, I told myself. Showtime. I marched past the VIP guests, who were more than happy to direct their attention towards the clearly-heartbroken stallion on a mission. Maybe he’d be the source of their latest gossip? Believe me, he would be; they just had no clue how much so.

I began marching up the stairs, and yelled—or rather, whined—out to Glam in my best “angsty teen” voice.

“And WHO THE HAY IS THIS?!” I screamed, catching her and her manager’s attention. “Is this my REPLACEMENT, huh?!”

“What?!” Glam huffed, looking at me like she’d never seen me before. I had to stop myself from grinning; she was a good actor. “Twinkle, I told you a week ago we were through. And I’m not gonna change my mind because you burst in here like some madpony, screaming at the top of your lungs!”

“Oh, I’M mad?” I ask, giggling a bit. Laying on that buildup of crazy. “R-right! I’m the crazy guy, because I am CLEARLY the one who dumped my coltfriend through a letter, when he lived in the SAME BUCKING HOUSE?!”

“On top of your whining, you’re telling me you were cheating on me with some colt?” Glam asked, looking downright hostile with her biting wit. I thought I might have needed to look her up after this job; she was fun!

“Y-you… you colt-hopping FINK!” I screamed, pouring out actual tears now. “I loved you! I bucking loved you, and THIS is what you do to me?!”

“It’s always about you, isn’t it?” Glam asked coldly, giving me a steely glare. “You never thought for a second that this isn’t what I wanted, right? You’re going to have to get it through your thick skull that as long as I live, I will NEVER be with you again. It’s over.”

That was the hook. The cue. As far as anypony watching knew, this was when I snapped. My face twitched, and my mouth stuttered a bit before I got my “last words” out.

“F-f-f-f…fine. I can’t be with you as long as you’re alive… But I can still do THIS!”

The raw emotion in the room had been so charged, nopony had noticed just how close I’d gotten to Glam. It was the perfect distance, really. Just enough room to put all my effort into a final, desperate push, and toss us both from the 50th-story window.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE—“

Glam screamed as loudly as her lungs would let her in the frigid night air as it whipped around us. I held myself tightly around her. This would have to be just perfect, or we’d be pancakes.

I counted the floors as they passed, as hard as it was. It must have only been a five or six second fall, but it felt like an eternity. There went floor forty… then thirty… then twenty—oh Celestia, I’m actually going to die.

But as we reached floor ten, I felt a familiar sensation, like a vacuum was sucking up all the fur from the my body. Then, I heard and felt a “POP”, and realized my eyes were closed tight. The wind had stopped flying past us, so I gingerly opened an eye. Sure enough, we were in a quiet little office on the abandoned side of the club’s re-purposed skyscraper. Beside me were two unicorns. One was black as night, with a red wine hue in her mane and a cheery smile as she moved over to check on myself and my client. Ashberry.

The other was an icy blue color, with a pair of thick spectacles over his eyes, and his mane was curiously short and coiffed. Needle Spin, who was currently lecturing me about something.

“—have to say, this is probably your WORST idea yet. But naturally, Ash and I pulled it off.”

He pointed outside, and as I saw Glam being dragged back to her feet by Ashberry (she apparently had lost consciousness at some point) I decided to follow Needle’s hoof.

About ten floors below us, a pair of bodieswere splattered in a manner just a bit too gruesome to describe on the city floor, and were already being surrounded by onlookers. I could tell from a distance that they were most definitely those of Glam and I. Good replicas, at least.

“Gotta say, this one was kinda hard!” Ash admitted as she saw me admiring her work. “It was hard enough for Needle to do the body switch without anypony noticing WHILE you were falling at that speed, but I’ve never made a dummy with the idea of it being splattered and showing all the insides!”

“But, you made it work?” I asked.

“Well sure she did!” came a deep, jovial voice as Wallop stepped into the room, changed out of his bouncer’s uniform and into his preferred gray sweater. “When hasn’t she?”

That colt was no simpleton, he knew what was what. Ashberry was the best illusionist this side of Equestria, and if there’s one thing a master illusionist can do, it’s fake a corpse.

It’s our job, after all. We make ponies disappear. Like Glam Rock, here. She’d gotten sick of the club life, all the sleazy producers and gig-runners wanting more and more out of her. First it was her talent. Then her body. She didn’t want her little filly growing up in that environment. But what could she do to escape these kinda scuzzballs? Simple. Fake her death. Which is where we came in.

Glam was still unconscious, but it was no issue for Wallop to carry her on her back. I dusted myself off, and turned to Needle, my second-in-command. “We got a ride?” I asked. He simple gave that over-confident smile he was infamous for.

“Of course, Cherry. Right down this way.”

Leading us out of the room, Needle Point took us to a nearby elevator and selected the “Garage” level. As we moved down, I took a deep breath, and collected my thoughts. Step 1: Eliminate the Mark. That was a check.

Step 2: Escape with Mark, Undetected? That was going to be the real challenge…

Spike yawned, putting the book down as he stood up to go find himself a drink. He was certainly drowsier after reading that chapter… but that awful feeling in his stomach was only getting worse. He considered writing Twilight for a moment, only to stop himself as he reached the fridge.

“Nah, I’m overreacting.” he told himself, grabbing a jug of orange juice to glug down. “I’ll just read some more until I can sleep.”

The door to the Northeastern Tower was one that seemed design to deter any entrants. Its black wooden frame was carved, and filled with red ink to create an elegant and haunting image of gaunt ponies running a wispy gauntlet around the door frame. They eventually circled inward, creating a quartet of harbingers of some form of doom.

Fluttershy shook almost uncontrollably as she examined this scene. She was at the rear of the group, with Carrot Top in front of her and Princess Luna herself being the closest to the door. The Princess looked back at the timid yellow pegasus.

“Something bothers you, friend of Twilight?”

“T-this… doesn’t seem like a v-very good idea at all…” Fluttershy whimpered. Luna nodded, and tried to put on her bravest face for the sake of the young mare.

“Fear not, dear Fluttershy. I assure you, as long as I am here no mere mortal shall dare strike at us.”

She tossed the door before her open with a single motion. It offered less resistance than its appearance would have indicated. It opened directly to a staircase, leading upward. “Come, my little ponies.” said Luna, marching up the steps with vigor and purpose. Carrot Top followed, who Fluttershy eyed for a second. She then slowly, defeated, began to follow as Angel stood on her head. The bunny stared daggers at the farmer pony as they began to move up the tower.

“The killer isn’t what I’m afraid of…” Fluttershy whispered.

Just A Joke

The stairwell that led Princess Luna and her entourage up the Northeastern Tower was, in many ways, indistinguishable from all the other stairwells in Brindlehoof Manor. However, this space had one key quality that the others lacked: it was stiflingly small. The Princess herself was barely able to fit up these stairs, grumbling and grunting as her wings and horn clacked and bumped against the corners of the walls as she rotated.

“Oof—Well, it certainly—eek—seems that this tower was designed with our—OUCH!—our less vertically blessed subjects in mind.”

“What could somepony even keep up here?” asked Carrot Top, squinting as she glared around for any hint of a clue; any sign, really, that a pony had passed through here recently. So far, all she’d found was dust and cobwebs. “Seems like places this cramped would just be wasted bits.”

Fluttershy had a few thoughts of her own on the matter, but even she wasn’t too clear on them; they were hazy, and pushed to the back of her mind by the more prevalent dilemma of whatever in Equestria Angel Bunny was planning. The little bunny was resting on her shoulder, and every glance that she threw at him made the pegasus more and more nervous. Each time, he looked a little more devious, a little more mischievous, a little more out-and-out evil. Considering these looks were all being pulsed out in waves towards the flank of his arch-rival just a few feet ahead, she knew it couldn’t be anything good.

She tried to remain somewhat helpful in the investigation, though there wasn’t much she could really observe on the staircase. “Um… maybe it’s meant to be a waste?”

Carrot Top and Princess Luna both looked over their shoulders, tossing back baffled glances at Fluttershy. The yellow pony blushed deeply, and averted her eyes as she desperately tried to stammer out an explanation. “Well, I mean, er… Nicodemus liked pranks a-a lot like Pinkie Pie does… maybe he thinks this is funny? Pointless rooms to, uh, get lost in?”

Carrot Top chose to shrug and continue on like before, and after a moment Princess Luna did the same. It was an interesting observation, but did little to help in their situation. Fluttershy lowered her head closer to the ground and silently followed the others, feeling more dejected than she felt she ought to have.

The trio only walked up another dozen steps or so before they reached the top of the tower, nearly pitch-black, since they’d passed the last window built in the walls a little while ago. Luna’s mane, by luck, emitted a faint glow, and allowed the Princess to see more clearly as she turned open the knob to let them into the room.

They found a curiosity inside; if there was a point to the room they certainly didn’t know it. But that didn’t mean it was barren. Rather, it was quite ornately decorated. The most plush rug that Fluttershy thought she’d ever seen stretched from wall to wall of a large, circular room, probably about eight pony lengths in diameter. In the center of the room was a most peculiar desk. On the top it was quite clearly a sort of secondary office, with stacks of paper and a few emptied inkwells with stained quills still sitting within. Under that, however, was a full set of piano keys. Carrot Top walked over to it, looking extremely confused as she tapped a few keys and hearing real piano sounds playing. “Was he struck by musical inspiration while he worked? Or was he just that weird?”

“I would not know.” Princess Luna answered, currently examining the bookshelf propped on the far side of the room. A hundred different books of varieties ranging from fresh and crisp to ancient and tattered faced her. She scanned the titles, looking for anything interesting—maybe he even had a few volumes from before she was sent to the moon?

Alas, that seemed not to be the case, and she settled on a book of Fillypinto cooking recipes.

Fluttershy skirted around the edges of the room, keeping to the stone walls and trying to scan the various decorations placed upon them for evidence of tampering. Truth be told, she had very little idea what she was looking for. Hoofprints, perhaps? Or maybe someplace with less dust than normal?

She continued circling in this way until she came to a sight that drew her eye. A suit of royal guard plate armor; Celestia’s guard hadn’t used this armor in generations, but the sight of the full suit was still quite intimidating. Intimidating enough to scare Fluttershy into make a terrified squeal in surprise and turn her head away.

“Oh Celestia, what are you whining about?” asked Carrot Top, who looked over to see the armor, hefting a large axe over its shoulder. She sighed in frustration, and trotted over, looking the ornate decoration over. She knocked on it once with a hoof, and groaned. “Fluttershy, it’s armor. It’s not even alive!”

“I-I… I know…”

As she looked at it longer, something about the armor caught Carrot Top’s interest. She leaned in close to examine the metal more. “Huh, something’s off here… some of it looks smudged, the dust is gone in a couple spots. Like somepony was… climbing on it?”

crrreeak

The small squeak of old hinges went unnoticed by the orange-maned farmer, as well as the Princess. Only Fluttershy caught a hint of it in her ears, and looked up. A quick gasp of breath came by reflex as her eyes went wide. The axe on the arm slowly, very slowly, was beginning to move. As it swung, it began to pick up momentum as it went.

“Oh, no!”

“Huh?” Carrot Top grunted, looking up in confusion just as the axe began to fully swing down. She barely got half a shriek out before a midnight blue aura yanked her from the very spot she stood, and the axe cracked into the floorboards. They splintered and snapped, leaving a very disturbing hold that a dead pony just might have filled without intervention.

Princess Luna’s horn coursed with power as she stepped over from the bookshelf. Her eyes had a faint glow within them, hinting that a lot more power than a levitation spell was about to be unleashed. “WHO. DID. THAT.”

Stammering in bafflement and more than the usual terror, Fluttershy was snapped from her catatonia as she heard the faint breaths coming from laughter. She and the other mares turned their sights to the top of the armor, where Angel Bunny was clutching his sides and laughing his little bunny lungs out. A collective gasp from the mares caught his attention long enough to point at Carrot Top, still magically caught up in the air, and redouble his guffawing. The farmer was far less amused, an expression somewhere between horrified and furious dangling on her face. Her eyes narrowed, not towards Angel Bunny, but Fluttershy.

“You!” she hissed. “Your little RAT has been stealing my carrots for years, and now it tried to KILL ME!”

“No, no!” insisted Fluttershy, her mind racing as she tried to think of some way to save Angel from this one. “He would never actually try and hurt anypony! H-he was just playing a prank, he knew you wouldn’t be hurt!”

“Like I’m supposed to believe that!?” Carrot Top screamed, flailing about in the air helplessly—only furthering the problem of Angel Bunny’s silent laughter. “Isn’t it your job to control that little cretin?”

“W-well, yes, but…”

“But WHAT?!” screamed the hysterical earth pony. “But you’re INCOMPETENT? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? You can’t even keep a bucking rabbit from trying to murder ponies!?”

Fluttershy began to cower, flinching away from Carrot Top’s words as tears began to well up in the corners of her eyes. “N-n-no…”

“ENOUGH!”

A hoof stamped into the floor, cracking the wood beneath as a shockwave of magic burst through the air; it passed by Fluttershy harmlessly, but struck the armor like it was scheduled for demolition. The metal pieces all fell together in shambles, taking the now startled Angel Bunny with it. As said rabbit sat in the armor rubble, dazed and confused, the aura holding up Carrot Top disappeared with a POP and sent the earth pony into the ground face-first. Above her stood Princess Luna, looking as terrifyingly regal as her title could suggest. Her mane beat fiercely in the air, as if gale force winds were whipping it around.

“WE SHALL HAVE NO MORE PETTY SQUABBLES WHEN THERE IS A MURDERER TO BE CAUGHT. BOTH OF YOU, OUTSIDE.”

Carrot Top and Fluttershy both trembled before the sight of an alicorn in her most righteous of anger, and humbly cantered out the door and into the stairwell, where they could speak without the bunny getting involved.

They both stepped outside the door, onto the small platform before the stairs proper began. Luna was the last one out, shutting the door behind her with a spell and glaring down at the two ponies. Her frown was intense, and almost parentally scolding. “Is there something that you might wish to share with me?”

Fluttershy was too terrified to even speak. Carrot Top was little better, and barely managed to stutter out an explanation. “F-Fluttershy is my neighbor. That rabbit… he comes and steals my carrots. Pretty much daily.”

“I see.” said Luna, silently musing. “Fluttershy, have you attempted to stop this rabbit?”

“Um, yes…” squeaked the timid pony. “…but Angel can be kind of, well, difficult sometimes.”

“Indeed.” replied the princess, eyes squinted as she continued to judge the situation. She turned back to Carrot Top and asked, “How many carrots does he steal? Is it more than you’d be giving Fluttershy if she actively requested them?”

The farmer sighed, feeling a pang of guilt as she needled her hoof into the floor. “I… guess not, Princess.”

“So then, if you’re not taking a financial blow, and Fluttershy has made her best efforts to put a stop to his behavior, then there is no reason to hold this grudge towards her, right?”

“…Right.” After a moment’s hesitation, Carrot Top looked over to Fluttershy with the most pathetic of expressions. “Fluttershy? I’m… I’m sorry, even if your rabbit did those things, I shouldn’t take out my anger on you.”

“Oh, no, I understand.” assured Fluttershy, giving a warm smile back at the farmer. “I really should try and control him better; I guess I need to be more… assertive.”

The princess gave a faint smile, nodding at her orange-maned subject, using a hoof to take her by the chin and lift her face up. With a reassuring expression, Princess Luna opened the door. “Please, dear Carrot Top, go inside and send out Angel Bunny. I wish to speak with him and Fluttershy personally.”

Carrot Top obeyed wordlessly, stepping inside as the door was shut behind her. Luna looked back at Fluttershy and briefly leaned down to nuzzle her subject’s face. “Fluttershy, do not be afraid to ask me for assistance when such things get out of hand. Such things can only end poorly when left to fester.”

“You’re right.” admitted Fluttershy with a humble nod. “A Princess would, um, know best about such things.”

Luna gave a coy smile. “Don’t be so sure, Fluttershy. The need for discussion and the direct addressing of problems, rather than letting your hatred linger, is a lesson that took me quite a long time to learn. A thousand years, in fact.”

Both mares shared a little giggle at the Princess’ attempt a humor. Fluttershy felt her muscles, tensed up since the moment she arrived at Brindlehoof, begin to loosen. This was an awful night, to be sure; but with the Princess around, at the very least she could feel safe.

CRASH

Every positive thought in Fluttershy’s mind vanished as both she and Luna heard the sound of a window pane shattering into a hundred pieces, coming from the Tower study. The door was practically ripped off of its hinges as Luna barged into the room, horn lowered and at the ready to blast.

The Princess’ jaw dropped as Fluttershy stepped into the room. She stumbled, as her mind tried to process the information she was receiving. Everything seemed hazed over with red as she saw Carrot Top standing by the window, a look of confused horror on her face. The yellow pegasus jittered and shook as she took steps towards the broken window. Everything seemed stiff, and robot, almost like she wasn’t the one moving her own legs.

She came to the window, and peered outside. The rain came down as heavily as it had since they arrived, drowning the soil at the bottom of the tower. A sea of brown mud, nearly blotting out a sole speck of white. Far below them, hardly visible in the weather and the muck, was the twitching body of a small rabbit.

Carrot Top backed away from the window, feeling a dread unlike any she had burrowing into her skin. The timid pony she had been resenting a few minutes prior turned away from the sight outside. Slowly, agonizingly slowly in the carrot farmer’s head, Fluttershy turned, and came to meet her eyes with her own—actually, not her own. Somepony else’s. These eyes held no warmth or love. Not even hatred or revulsion. These eyes were blank slates, with expressionless pupils passively taking in the world around them. Coldly, with utmost calculation, the pegasus spoke.

“What… did you do… to my rabbit?”

Down, down to goblin-town

Trixie stood at the forefront of her little trio, face-to-face with a freshly opened door. They’d come here straight after Pinkie’s speech, and in that time had not shared a single word. That is to say, they had not spoken to Trixie, and Trixie had not spoken back. These two back-country ponies had been some of the magician’s… how could she put it? Her ‘disillusioned fans’ from Ponyville. They talked to each other almost constantly, whispering about how scared they were, and how they’d protect each other. The magician wasn’t paying attention to the particulars. She was with them for the safety in numbers, not for all the juicy details in their personal lives.

Of course, this assignment came with its own challenges. Pinkie Pie’s words of encouragement rang in the illusionist’s mind as she stared down that dark, foreboding staircase, but it provided very little comfort. This madpony she’d been hired by made his entire living off of writing, most of which was downright horrifying. Who knew what a horror writer would think his basement should look like? Let alone the fact that a killer might be down there. Any attempts at stalling seemed to be nigh-genius.

“…Well?” asked the cream-colored mare behind her. What was her name? Bon-Bon, maybe? Well, this “Bon-Bon” was already getting on Trixie’s nerves. The magician hadn’t bothered to figure the dynamic of this little couple, but if there was one she guessed that this mare was the one with a stick up her plot. That would make—

“Yeah, hurry up!” insisted the teal-colored mare, Lyra. “I wanna get a load of this basement!”

--ah, yes. That would make Lyra the free spirit. Sighing at both their predictability and her own predicament, Trixie twisted her neck to look back at them. “If you two are so impatient, then perhaps you should be the ones leading?”

“Oh, nonsense.” insisted Bon-Bon, making a casually dismissive wave with her hoof. “We’re just a couple of backwater fillies. What would we hope to do to rival the ‘great and powerful’ Trixie? After you, O magical wonder-pony.”

Lyra tried her best to hold back a fit of giggles, while Trixie opted just to sigh quite dramatically. It was now or never, she supposed. Then again, never wasn’t so bad an option…

“HURRY UP!” shouted Bon-Bon. That did the ticket, as the sheer shock from volume seemed to remove all friction from Trixie’s hooves; the unicorn went careening down the staircase, leaving the giggling couple to follow her down.

The lighting and mood seemed to shift for the worse as Trixie descended into the basement. Where once warm and rosy colors reminded her of Hearth’s Warming Even, now a sickly, cold green permeated all around. The walls were assorted, gray stones, and the stairs creaked with every step. She swore she could smell sulfur burning. The thought entered her mind: maybe the basement wasn’t always here, and it was just made to conceal the fact that the old stallion had accidentally built Brindlehoof on top of Tartarus?

She could hear somepony sniffing loudly behind her. “What smells like licorice burning in a pot of leeks?”

Trixie looked back as she reached the halfway point of the stairs—which she could finally see were mud brown and rather rickety—to see that it was Bon-Bon asking. She raised an eyebrow and asked “What in Equestria are you babbling about? It’s very clearly sulfur…” she paused to take another whiff. “and maybe some garlic?”

Lyra cocked an eyebrow, and smelled for herself. “Well, that’s weird. I smell licorice and poppy seeds. OH, WAIT! I know!”

Both other ponies stopped in their descent on a platform, where the stairs’ path rotated 90 degrees, and gave a curious stare to the teal unicorn, who simply looked at them like they’d forgotten how to perform basic math equations.

“What?” she asked, curiously. “Isn’t it obvious? It’s a Camouflage spell. One of the things it does is mask your scent!”

That only confounded the other two further, who were now staring, hopelessly confused, at Lyra. The other mare was lost to her own thoughts, though, and tuned the others out entirely as she mused. “Of course, if we’re smelling such strong stuff, it’s probably not complete… a few ingredients must still be missing. Or else, it’s been stewing for at least 6 hours.”

Finally, her sight drifted back to reality, and she saw her baffled companions. All Lyra did in response was shrug. “What? I took a few classes back in Canterlot. I didn’t ALWAYS know I’d be a musician.”

Once Bon-Bon finished picking her jaw up off the floor, she was the next to speak, albeit with some hesitation. “…All right, then. Shall we investigate?”

“Uh, what?” Trixie asked, glaring at the earth pony. “I think it’s very clear that we will NOT be investigating down here. Don’t you get what that smell means? It means that, we probably haven’t seen this killer because he’s invisible! And if he’s invisible, that means he might be down there right now and we won’t see him until it’s too late!”

Bon-Bon took a deep breath, and made an exaggerated face as she used her hooves to indicate a small margin of space. “Yeah, just a teensy little problem with your plan, missy. If he were down here, then you just talked more than loudly enough for him to hear you.”

Trixie clamped her mouth shut with both hooves as the cream-colored mare confirmed what she was already thinking. “He already knows we’re here. So, we might as well head down and get this over with.”

At first, no clear reaction was visible. Trixie stood exactly as she was the moment before. Then a few seconds passed. A few more still. A few more yet. The illusionist had yet to move an inch. She was stuck in place like a statue, mouth clamped in forced silence. The earth pony had to stop herself from breaking into laughter right there, while Lyra inched closer and poked the magician with a hoof. No registry of the touch, whatsoever.

Bon-Bon finally broke her silence and let out a wheezing laugh as she wrapped a hoof around Lyra’s shoulders, directing the pair down the stairs together. As they walked, the unicorn observed the serene expression on her partner’s face.

“Uh, Bon-Bon? Isn’t this a little dangerous, heading straight down to the villain’s lair, when you were saying he was there?”

Bon-Bon giggled and bopped Lyra on the nose. “Silly filly. I was just saying that to screw with Trixie; there’s no way the killer would hide down here with a smell like that to give a big warning to everypony.”

“Oh!” exclaimed the musical pony, satisfied with this explanation. But a moment later, another thought struck her. “Well, what about Trixie?”

“Oh, she’ll catch up. Just give her a minute.”

The pair of ponies descended, leaving Trixie frozen and alone on the staircase. In this solitude, her mind began to process, with the sober realization that she was all alone. With a killer on the loose.

In the dark.

In the basement.

If Rainbow Dash had been present, she would have been forced to admit that she could never hope to match the speed that Trixie demonstrated in charging down those stairs. The magician constricted every muscle in her upper body to keep from giving a girlish shriek of terror as she scurried down into the basement.

There weren’t many more stairs to go, when she finally came to the end of her mad dash. She hit the bottom of the stairs, landing on a cobblestone floor, panting furiously as her senses slowly returned.

That smell was still present, and stronger than ever. But her eyes were the organs that truly feasted down there. The sickly green glow was stronger than ever, and was practically its own light source by now. She was in a small-ish room, all things considered. A few barrels, cracked open by time or something Trixie didn’t want to think about rested under the staircase. Cobwebs filled every corner, and directly opposing the bottom of the staircase were two doors. The one on the left had a label on the center, at some point, but it was gone now. Trixie could still see the faded section where it had once been. The thought interested her, as to why it would ever be taken away, but she was more distracted by the other door.

It, like its counterpart, was simple lacquered wood, with no real pattern to speak of. The decadence and style of the upper floors was lost here. It was cracked open; apparently this was where Lyra and Bon-Bon had gone while she was having her little… ‘episode’. The highlight of the door, however, was its own very much present label.

MAD SCIENCE ROOM

“Well, that’s… blatant.”

Stepping forward, she nudged the door open to look inside. What she found was, well, mad science.

The room was decorated in a combination of simplicity, elegance, and malevolence. In the center of the room, raised on a stone pedestal, was a bubbling black cauldron, with a green smoke slowly rising from the center. At the moment, Bon-Bon was standing next to it and staring inside, perplexed. Lyra was off on the opposite side of the room from Trixie, examining a large brown desk stacked high with dozens of pieces of parchment. They all seemed to be research notes, some of which were compiled in simply-binded books and shoved into an adjacent bookcase. Trixie stepped in, attracting the other mares’ attention. Bon-Bon smirked.

“Well, looks like our little magician decided to join us.”

Lyra seemed significantly less hostile. “Oh, finally! I could really use your help going through these Trixie!” She waved around a few pieces of parchment to illustrate. “Come check this out!”

Not feeling much else was around to do, she trotted over to see what the other unicorn was chattering about. She looked over Lyra’s shoulder at the mess of papers.

“Check this out!” Lyra insisted. “There’s a ton of stuff here, by Nicodemus. Research, and stuff, and it’s recent too! Just this last week, he was doing all of this stuff!”

“Really?” asked the blue unicorn, eyeing a randomly selected piece. “How could anypony churn out this much work in a week?”

“Dunno!” replied Lyra. “But, check it, in this entry, just three days ago.” She pointed out one in particular that Trixie leaned in to read with her.

Not much time left. Big day’s coming, and I’m not prepared. Camouflage spell’s a dud, smell’s too strong, not going to keep me safe. Not even time to dump the cauldron out back. If only I had time to call in my expert. Too late now. All I can do is hope for the best, I suppose. Pinkie, bless her heart, she’s going to be devastated. And I imagine Octavia will have some choice words as well, if I ever get to speak to her again.

One last trial. I have confidence in this one, just finished collecting the bag of stallion hair this morning. If it doesn’t work… I don’t know what I’m going to do.

“It doesn’t say what, but he was preparing all these spells for something specific! Something really, super-important!”

“Preparing…” muttered the magician, lost in thought. This certainly wasn’t good. She had a very strong feeling that they needed to get out of this basement. With a strong hoof, she shoved Lyra aside and dug into the parchment. The teal unicorn was bowled over and sputtered out a confused response.

“What the hay was that for?!”

“I’M the master magician here.” replied Trixie, with a particularly haughty expression shimmering in the green light. “You and Bon-Bon investigate something else, I’m going to get to the bottom of these so-called ‘preparations’.”

Feeling more than a little dejected, Lyra walked over to another corner of the room, where Bon-Bon was taking a look at another platform like the cauldron’s. This one had nothing on top of it, only a violet chalk outline of some strange circular pattern.

“Oh, Lyra, thank goodness.” said the other mare. “You’re the magic expert between us, any idea what this is?”

The mare leaned down to get a better look at the pattern, but was already looking displeased as she did. “Er, no. Sorry, but this looks like pretty advanced stuff. Might be rune magic, but that's really advanced stuff. I don’t know a thing about it.”

“Horseapples.” muttered Bon-Bon, stamping on the center of the platform with her hoof. It seemed perfectly sized for an average pony to stand on. “Think there’s any way to activate it? I wanna know what it does.”

“That… doesn’t seem like such a good idea.” said Lyra.

Meanwhile, Trixie had relocated herself from the desk to the bookcase. It was at least five ponies wide, and stacked with years and years of research. Her face was scrunched up in careful thought, magically hefting Nicodemus’ lastest—and last—research book. She scanned the shelves, looking for the empty spot it had come from. It was quite clear that the old pony didn’t organize his work chronologically, from the dates scrawled on the bindings. Some of them stretched back over thirty years.

“I wonder how far back these preparations of his went?” she questioned. Finally, her wandering eyes found their prize: a small indent between the stuffed lines of books. Third shelf up, about halfway across the right side. She brought the book up and attempted to shove it into the blank spot. Sadly, it seemed a bit difficult to fit. “Bucking book… go!” she hissed. She pushed harder and harder, until at last the book slipped in, and she heard a click.

Wait.

Click?

With a rusty groaning, the entire bookshelf swung on a pivot in its center. The place she’d shoved the book through gave out under her push, and she tumbled into a… something beyond it. A small cavern, or room, or crawlspace. Whatever it was, all she knew was that she tripped over something as soon as she went in, a raise platform, and bowled herself right on top of it.

The pain that naturally tried to rise subsided as she saw something. A pattern of some sort on the platform was beginning to glow with light. “What in the—“

ZAP

She was gone.

Back in the main room, Lyra and Bon-Bon were silent, both mares transfixed by the rotating bookcase that had swallowed up Trixie. Neither of them noticed the platform Bon-Bon was on had begun to glow as well.

ZAP

Lyra’s eyes darted to her right, to see that her best friend had disappeared.

At once feeling a cold chill, Lyra began to back towards the center of the room. The air was growing colder; she could see her own breath. Taps echoed around the room, as if someone was making very careful, deliberate hoofsteps.

“H-hello?” the teal pony asked. She couldn’t begin to fathom why she had, her trembling heart begged her not to say anything, and to just run upstairs and escape this whole mess. But she had spoken.

And she received her answer.

“Mmm-hmm-hmm. Huhuhuh..heheheheheehhhAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA—“

ZZAP

With a thud, Trixie landed. Her stomach felt like it had been turned upside down, and inside of her a desperate need to hurl her guts out was swelling up alongside her lunch. She had absolutely no clue where she was. It was dark enough that she couldn’t see a foot in front of her. But she could still hear, and below, she heard a muffled voice. Very quiet, very serene.

“What… did you do… to my rabbit?”

“Huh?!” squealed the blue unicorn, scrambling to her feet. This was a vital misstep, as she had yet to realize how precariously she was balanced. As soon as she tried to move, the entire platform swiveled, dropping the floor out from underneath her and sending her plopping down into the center of an ornate, circular room.

Her haunches stung, and the whole room was spinning, but no amount of dulled senses could mitigate the dread she felt coming from the butter-colored pegasus staring at her.

I don't know half of you half as well as I should like...

“Whoa…”

Rainbow Dash was the first of the mares to step into the dining hall, and her words did a marvelous job describing her friends’ similar reactions. A bit of awe, jealously, and just a tinge of disbelief was forefront in their thoughts as they took in the opulence. The room was almost as large as the entrance hall, and very nearly twice the amount of luxury went into its decoration. Whereas a slightly brighter array of colors greeted guests into Brindlehoof Manor, this hall was clearly meant for a more relaxed atmosphere.

The colors were all dark, warm, and rich; this was true for most of the house, but only here was it brought to such prominence. On the opposite end of their door was a fireplace three ponies high and four ponies wide from nose to tail. It was flanked by a pair of metallic burgundy doors that led to a sterile white room; presumably, it was the kitchen, as at that moment Pompadour strode through one of the doors balancing a gleaming chrome covered dish. The butler speedily carried it to one of nearly a dozen medium-sized round tables, setting it down in front of the DJ they’d met earlier, Vinyl Scratch. He lifted it away to reveal a veritable mountain of pistachio salad; a custom order judging from Vinyl’s overjoyed expression.

Pompadour gave a hidden little smile of satisfaction at a job well done before stepping back inside the kitchen. It became apparent at that point that there were several cliques developing around the hall. Octavia and Scratch sat side-by side, with those teal and cream-colored mares sitting across from them at one table; at another, Hoity-Toity sat with the light-blue socialite stallion in the shades and spiky mane, though said stallion seemed more interested in conversing with Soarin, who seemed to be in the middle of regaling him and the orange-maned mare with some kind of story. Four of the mares went off to occupy a table of their own, but Twilight was more interested in the table where Princess Luna was seated.

She trotted over, sitting next to her and giving a bright “Hello, Luna!”

“Ah, Twilight!” Luna beamed. “I was wondering where you’d gotten to; as a matter of fact, your helpful little antics were the topic of discussion here with my newfound friend. I’m sure you recognize him?”

Twilight looked over at this mystery guest, sitting across from them both. It was the griffin she’d seen earlier, but only now did she recognize his face, along with his finely-waxed moustache. “Gustave!”

“Ah, so you do recognize me, mademoiselle!” Gustave Le Grand said with a cheery, if a bit snooty smile. “We have had, how do you say it? Minimal time to really sit and chat, I was afraid you had forgotten all about poor Gustave! But as I can see, I was clearly mistaken.”

“Which means that you owe me something to the tune of forty bits.” Luna taunted with a cocky smile. Twilight had to stifle a snort, hearing that they’d been betting over something that trivial. “My sister’s star pupil is not one to forget the face of a friend; correct, Twilight Sparkle?”

“Absolutely, Luna!” Twilight said, trying to act confident behind her heavy blush. “How could I forget all the chaos Pinkie caused on that train? But, that does make me wonder, why are you here, Gustave? Not that I’m not happy to see you, of course!”

“Oh, it is fine, Ms. Sparkle!” Gustave slurred out with his thick accent. “Truth be told, I have never attended one of zese magnificent parties before; but zis year, I was invited by ze esteemed Nicodemus himself to oversee ze recipes for ze food; and if I may say so myself, they are” he paused to kiss his fingers with a loud smack “simply fantastique!”

“Er, yes.” Luna added, looking down at the bizarrely alien dish that had been laid out for her. “Fantastique is certainly the word I would use for this.”

At the other corner of the room, closer to where they had entered, three of the other mares were heavily invested in a debate over the ultimate genre of music; insults ranging from “hooligan” to “stuffy” to “banjo-twanger” were being tossed in every direction, but one pony was uninterested. Fluttershy, specifically. Her sole goal at the moment was her little charge, Angel Bunny. Try as she might, she could not convince the disagreeable bunny to even try the salad Pompadour had prepared him.

“Please, Angel.” Fluttershy pleaded. “I know it’s not your special salad, but the nice butler assured me these are the most splendid greens in all of Equestria. Won’t you at least try a bite for mama?”

Angel tossed the plate of lettuce and assorted fixings straight into the pink-maned pony’s face, staining said pink to a significantly darker shade, by way of a raspberry vinaigrette. As the dinnerware silently slid off of her face, Fluttershy sighed in defeat; surely he’d get hungry enough to try something by tomorrow? Worrying for her dear little companion had to wait for a moment, though, when a hoof to the ribs brought her back to reality. She looked up to see Rainbow Dash looking aside at her.

“Hey, Fluttershy.” she whispered. “Wait a second before you look, all right? But across the room, that orange-maned pony’s been glaring at you since the moment you got here.”

“W-what?” the frail yellow mare asked, suddenly trembling in confusion. “But, why? I, um, I don’t think I’ve done anything wrong… yet.”

Dash just shrugged her shoulders. “I dunno; but I thought you should know she was doing it.” The other pegasus went back into the argument she’d just taken herself out of, leaving Fluttershy to risk a scant glance over in that direction.

Sure enough, the mare listening to Soarin speak, at that precise moment, was sending a deathly leer straight towards her. Fluttershy made a bit of an eep noise and averted her eyes, and saw Angel Bunny sitting on the table, glaring right back at the mare before reaching over to Applejack’s plate and acquiring a carrot to munch on. The mare watched this, and couldn’t help but wonder if her rabbit friend knew anything about that mare. She certainly seemed familiar, but from where Fluttershy just couldn’t place.

“ATTENTION, EVERYONE!”

All the guests looked up from their conversations and their food to the entrance to the dining hall; standing tall in the entrance was Nicodemus Pie, followed closely by Pinkie. He stepped inside, sporting a bright pink vest in place of his cloak, with white vertical stripes. His strides were long, grandiose, and more than a little… what was the word? Oh, yes. Flamboyant. The author’s horn glowed with a crimson aura as he approached, suddenly lifting everyone’s tables up into the air, stacking them in a corner neatly before approaching a lever that was at the bottom of the little staircase leading from the door to the main floor. Above them, the ceiling itself opened up, and a large rectangular dining table descended to the center of the room, followed by a meticulously-embroidered maroon tablecloth and a trio of silver triple-candlesticks. All the chairs came around to seat the guests, so that one chair was placed at each end of the table; 8 chairs each sat on the longer sides. Pompadour immediately rushed from the kitchen with a cart full of plates, fresh silverware, and any amenities a gourmet diner might require to enjoy their meal fully.

“Please, everyone, gather up your parties and have a seat! I’d like to get this show started off on the right hoof!”

They did so, Twilight an co. reuniting with Pinkie to arrange themselves directly on the right-hand side of Nicodemus, who obviously sat at the head of the table. Once the others had similarly found their places, Pompadour placed a glass of fresh wine down for his master. The mustachioed writer raised a spoon and clinked the glass, assuring that all eyes were now on him.

“If you’ll all suffer a doddering old pony to give a speech for a few minutes, I’d be simply elated to oblige you. If it’s not obvious by my advanced age, and not giving a hoof what my mane looks like in my own home, I am Sir Nicodemus Archifranzibald Pie II, Lord and Proprietor of Brindlehoof Manor, Sherriff of Shetlandshire, and Earl of Overly-Long Titles! I shall be your master of ceremonies for the next three days, as we partake in my annual Nightmare Night Celebration!”

As the others cheered in excitement, mostly towards the fresh wine in their glasses, the mares from Ponyville exchanged a glance. Nopony had mentioned three days.

“Now, as I said before, there’s an order to doing these things; so if it’s all the same to you, let’s get introductions out the way! No need to waste any more time with that when we could be talking about something important: like how my glass is empty, oh POMPADOUR~!”

On his cue, the butler made haste in coming to his master’s side with a fresh glass of wine. Nicodemus thanked him and returned to his speech.

“So, going clockwise, I’d like to say a few words for you all.” He gestured to the right, at Pinkie. “This, everyone, is my delightful little niece, and baker extraordinaire, Pinkie Pie! I’ve been dying trying to get her to attend my parties one of these years, and it seems I’ve finally worn her down! Of course, she didn’t come alone: Twilight Sparkle, pupil of none other than our beloved Princess Celestia and Ponyville’s wonderful little librarian! Applejack, caretaker of Sweet Apple Acres, home of the renowned Apple family and, most importantly, Zap Apple Jam! Then, of course, there’s the darling fashionista, Rarity!”

The unicorn blushed and bowed a little as her round of applause came around. Nicodemus didn’t skip a single beat, and kept going with the introductions.

“Then, of course, what is there I can say about Rainbow Dash that we don’t already know? The up-and-coming star of the pegasus world, fast, daring, and loyal to the end! Miss, I might just have to write your biography one of these days.” he said with a chuckle. Rainbow Dash’s reaction was more along the lines of shocked joy than the casual humor the author seemed to be approaching it with.

“Now, then, I’m afraid I’ve gotten lost, where was I? Ah, oh, yes, Fluttershy! Darling, I’ve heard so much about you. Enough to know the less I say about you, the more comfortable you’ll be. Moving on!”

Fluttershy felt a sweet sense of relief as she was passed over for scrutiny. However, she couldn’t help but notice the orange-maned pony glaring at her from across the table once more. She tried to avert her eyes and listen to Nicodemus continuing the introductions.

“I’m simply delighted to have all six of you here, I’m sure we’ll have lots of wonderful things to discuss! Now then, I’m sure you ALL have heard the name of this celebration’s entertainment. The name Trixie rings a bell, yes? Well, good, because as it so happens the greatest illusionist in all of Equestria shall be personally ensuring each and every one of you is enjoying your time here to the fullest!”

Trixie lacked any semblance of the previous mares’ humility, standing up and soaking in every ounce of the applause.

“Then, if I may take a moment to gush a bit, may we get an extra bit of applause for this next stallion? My publisher, and supporter from the day he entered the business; frankly, probably the reason I haven’t blown all my money on something frivolous by now as well. THIS,” he said in reference to the socialite in black. “is my dearest friend, Bruce Mane!”

As the applause came, Nicodemus asked him to say a few words. Bruce shrugged and stood up. “I’m not much of a speaker,” he admitted in his surprisingly low, smooth voice. “but let me just say that I picked an excellent year to finally let you drag me to one of these parties of yours. A princess, the Elements of Harmony, the Great and Powerful Trixie? Old colt, if I didn’t know better I’d say you were trying to impress me.”

The guests all chuckled at Bruce’s feigned self-importance, contrasting quite nicely to the ACTUAL self-importance of the mare to his left. He sat back down without another word, and the introductions moved on.

“Mares and gentlecolts, I present to you Gustave Le Grand! Our head caterer, quite possibly the greatest chef alive in Equestria!” The applause the overjoyed griffin received reflected Nicodemus’ opinion in the other ponies. Excluding, oddly, Princess Luna, whose clap seemed rather slow and impassionate.

“Now,” Nicodemus began. “This next guest, well, how can I ever call her a guest? She’s near and dear to my heart, and if I had my way she’d still be here with me! Please, a rousing hoof for my precious little filly, Octavia!” Claw and hoof clapped for the musician, who blushed quite immensely as she hid her head behind the white unicorn beside her. “And of course, it’s almost a crime to introduce my daughter without THIS pony. It seems like they hardly spend a moment apart; hay, she’s almost like a second daughter; ladies and gentlecolts, Octavia’s good friend, Vinyl Scratch!”

Scratch gawked at Nickie Pie with a face that severely questioned his word choice, but nobody seemed to notice. “Of course, her other guests are spending their first year at this event, along with dear Vinyl. Please, say hello to Lyra Hearstrings and Bon-Bon!”

As the others clapped and cheered, the unicorn named Lyra grinned like a schoolfilly and waved back with excitement fit to burst from her; Bon-Bon was a bit more reserved, nodding but generally keeping stoic for whatever reason.

“I’m sure the magnificent Hoity-Toity needs no introduction?” Nicodemus asked. The fierce applause replied that no, he most certainly didn’t. “I simply couldn’t stand to throw yet another of my famous parties without inviting the genius behind my magnificent wardrobe.”

Hoity-Toity merely nodded, looking almost sheepish at the love he was getting; surely an act, but a well rehearsed one at least. Then, the introductions came to the orange-maned mare. “Everyone, please give a warm welcome to Carrot Top, a delightful young filly who is, by my own opinion, the greatest carrot farmer in Equestria and supplier of my own personal stock!”

“C-c-carrot supplier?” Fluttershy whispered to herself, suddenly looking very nervous.

Rainbow Dash looked away from the commotion around the table for a moment, to find her dear friend starting to curl up in to a ball and sweat. Confusion and a tangible twinge of sympathetic agony hit the blue pegasus straight in the heart, and she put a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder to get her attention.

“Hey. Hey, Fluttershy, what’s the matter? C’mon, what’s wrong?”

“I-I know why that mare’s been staring at me!” Fluttershy whimpered.

“Why’s that?” Dash asked, curious, and feeling a sneaking suspicion that a certain earth pony was about to get bucked in the face.

“She’s Ponyville's biggest carrot farmer, I recognize her now! And little Angel Bunny can be a little… inconsiderate when it comes to other people’s property.”

Rainbow Dash glared back at Carrot Top, who quickly looked away. The pegasi sat back properly into their chairs, as Dash considered just how to get her revenge on that orange jerk.

“…Soarin, Wonderbolt extaordinaire.” Nicodemus continued on, finishing up his praise of the ace flyer.

“And finally, truly the star of tonight’s festivities, I humbly welcome our beloved Princess Luna herself to join us on this Nightmare Night celebration!”

Over the din of applause, he ended, “You’ve all come here for some of the most stupendous frights to be found in any corner of Equestria, and by my ancestors you’re going to get it! But such things take time, and shall come on the morrow; so, take the next few hours to get yourselves acquainted with our wine cellar, and get to talking; make friends, laugh! Eat, drink, and be merry, as the old saying goes, for tomorrow we die!”

“Hear, hear!” the ponies plus Gustave chanted, all downing their wine simultaneously. That, as it seemed, was the trigger for the festivities to really begin. For those next few hours, though civil, things took a very lively turn as ponies buzzed about the room, conversing with one another on all sorts of subjects.

Nicodemus sat down with Luna and Twilight Sparkle for their little chat, and though the lavender mare had an entire journal’s worth of questions, the one that dominated their time together was jotting down the mechanics behind the spell that powered all of those carriages he used for transport. Even Luna admitted her curiosity on how he managed to make a spell work on such a large scale. As he explained the concepts, his dear butler Pompadour was judging a ferocious pie-eating contest between Pinkie and Applejack. What had seemed a daunting wall of confections was done away with in a matter of minutes, and by the end of the ten-minute timer, a stuffed and thoroughly miserable Pinkie won by approximately three bites.

As both earth ponies shuffled for the bathroom, Soarin found himself unnerved by the relentless blue mare chasing him around the hall, attempting to smooth-talk him into putting in a good word to the Wonderbolts. Dash just didn’t seem to get that he’d promised to do so the moment she stopped chasing him.

Rarity and Hoity-Toity had convened nearly the instant the party had begun in earnest, sharing ideas for new winter designs and discussing the truly horrendous fall trends. The only one that wasn’t enjoying herself to any extent was Fluttershy. That familiar feeling of uselessness was settling in as she tried to do something to resolve the situation between Angel Bunny and the poor farmpony.

She’d tried bribing Angel with dozens of confections and treats, even a little sip of wine if he’d just try to apologize, if that was okay. Of course, each and every one was thrown back in her face. Except for the wine. He drank that, then refused her deal.

Then, against her own thoughts’ protests, she had gone to Carrot Top herself, to try and talk things out. To say it went poorly would be an understatement to a criminal extent. The pegasus barely got out more than five words, and was silenced by a single tail-smack from the obstinate farmpony. She went back to her abusive bunny, feeling dejected. At least the rabbit was mean to other ponies, too.

All six of the mares found themselves quite occupied in manners similar to this, until a grandfather clock stowed in some corner rang in a new hour: nine o’clock, PM. They all stopped hearing this, feeling a bit shocked that that much time had even passed. Nicodemus stood from his seat, clinking his glass again to get everyone’s attention.

“I say, it’s been wonderful having you all this morning, but I think we’ll be needing our rest for tomorrow! Pompadour shall show you to your beds; goodnight, all!”

Sure enough, the butler materialized from the nether, it seemed, at the doorway, gesturing for everyone to follow. The guests did so, until only Pinkie and Twilight lingered behind.

“You sure you don’t wanna come and say goodnight Uncle Nickie Pie?” Pinkie asked, looking a bit disappointed. Nicodemus just chuckled and patted her poofy mane.

“Ah, don’t fret, dear. I’ll be seeing you all tomorrow; right now, I just want to catch up on some reading. You’d best be running along now!” he planted a kiss straight on Pinkie’s forehead, and the earth pony giggled as she cantered off. Twilight wished her newfound friend a more civil goodnight, and followed her friend as she trailed the rest of the group up the staircase they’d found earlier in that day.

Pompadour led the ponies up to the third floor, where the reds were replaced by more blue and violet hues. The decorations was along the lines of water, and undersea life; the butler gestured towards the first door on his right. “Miss Pinkamena and guests, this room shall be yours.”

Pinkie led the way in as the rest of the guests were led down the hall to their own lodgings. The six that had been given this room, however, took the time to take in the exquisite furnishing. Though sparing, a few bits of calming artwork that matched the underwater vibe of their room sapped any remaining energy from the ponies. Twilight trudged past her bags, which had been carries up by Pompadour at some point and placed next to one of six beds aligned against the wall and next to one another. She crawled in under the sheets, her eyes already growing heavy as she joined in the long chain of each mare telling the other five goodnight. The bed was magnificent, cradling her body like a warm cloud as she drifted off into a peaceful, undisturbed sleep.

Rather, undisturbed until she was woken in the darkness of the night, to the dread sound of

“BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!…”

...of that.