P.B. and J.

"I'd say 'relax' if I thought you would listen to anything I have to say now." Joe remarked.

Unclenching my jaw, I hissed at him, "You can leave."

"I don't want to." He said, cheerfully.

Bad enough that I was forced to appear at my 'Aunt' Luna's Night Court. Worse, I had to wait in line. The guards seemed to get a kick out of making sure I waited as long as possible. Finally, the tooth-decaying icing on this flank-fattening cake was that HE wouldn't just leave.

"What are you--" I was rudely cut off by one of Luna's House Guards.

"Her Royal Highness will see you now. She requests the presence of Mr. Joe, should he be so inclined."

"Thank you, we'll be in presently." Joe said to the guard. He turned to me. "Ready to get this over with?"

"Beyond ready." I moaned.

We approached Luna's throne, making the appropriate bows as we came to stand before her.

"Ah, if it isn't Our Nephew." She said. "Our gracious subject, Mr. Pony Joe, We thank you for your service to Our Nephew. Please rise."

I spoke. "Aunt Luna..."

She held up a hoof. "That you would be so informal does not bode well for the idea that you have learned a lesson. Lady Heather Fields is a mare of gentle upbringing. Our Court has a complaint against you from her father. We—I hope you realize the seriousness of this action."

I nodded. A complaint against a noble could result in one of many scenarios. In the most extreme cases, banishment, being stripped of titles and imprisonment could be utilized. Luna and I were not on good terms. I didn't think she'd go that far, but I recognized the danger that she could.

"As I understand it, nephew, this is not the first complaint to come against you. That this complaint should come from another noble house only serves disharmony..."

The speech was so predictable. Luna must've studied Celestia's speech and memorized it by heart. Actually, Luna probably put more feeling into it than her sister.

"...a duty to Canterlot and her citizens..."

Idly, I wondered if I'd actually get sent to one of the House of Day holdings outside of Canterlot. It would put a serious cramp in my lifestyle, but it would allow me to get out of the city. So long as it was sufficiently civilized. With a sniff of disdain, I thought of Ponyville.

"DOST THOU ATTEND US, NEPHEW?" The use of the Royal Canterlot Voice caught my attention as it blew me back a step.

"Of course, Your Highness." I said.

"Well then, I do hope you have no objections to your punishment." She said. Another nod.

"Yes, you have an objection?" She asked, frowning.

I shook my head. "I await your judgment."

She sighed. "Thou didst not attend us then. We have given it."

Her expression left me no choice, it was time to break out the A game. I hated using it, but I'd screwed up royally by zoning her out completely. Bowing low, I let out a single tear and said plaintively. "I can only humbly beg your mercy, Your Highness."

I dared a look upwards. The show of emotion seemed to have an affect on my aunt. Unfortunately, it wasn't the desired one. "Our sister has spoken of your rare displays of emotion. Your alligator's tears will not work on me."

"Send me away then." I said boldly. "It's what Aunt Celestia desired since I reached adulthood."

"Ah, now that show of emotion I believe." She said with a smile. With Joe and now Luna, I'd had enough of ponies smiling at me.

"So, what is it? Have I finally lost my title as prince? Shall I pack for the Badlands or the Frozen North?" I stomped my hoof, feeling decidedly less stallion-like and more like a petulant foal. I hated that.

"Believe it or not, nephew, your aunts love you. We, and by 'we' this time I mean Celestia and myself, want to see you as more than just a party accessory." She lifted her head. "You will serve the Court of the Night for two hours every session as an advisor. This Court needs a younger voice and you are well acquainted with the nobles and notables of the next generation. Is this clear?"

My ears flattened against my skull. "Can you do that? I'm of the House of the Day..."

She held a hoof up to silence me. "I can. The old laws from before my banishment made it clear that service across House lines was an appropriate punishment for those with a certain lack of harmony. I have also discussed the matter with the Head of the House of the Day. She agreed most readily to my suggestion."

My heart sank even lower. "So, Celestia knows about last night." I observed.

"Indeed, nephew." Luna said softly. "I could order you, but I would rather you be willing. Prince Blueblood, will you serve me in my Court?"

It was the first time she'd referred to me by my title and name. Maybe she respected me at least that much. That was a damn sight better than the disdain her sister had exhibited. Could I serve Nightmare...Luna?

"Yes, Your Highness." I answered formally. "For how long?"

"Considering the insult to Lady Fields, your lack of attention, your fit of temper and your general disposition, a term of one year and one day's service would not have been outside the norm back in my day."

Joe tapped a hoof on the ground. Luna looked at him sharply. To his credit, he didn't falter. She nodded. "The Court of the Night recognizes the input of citizen Pony Joe. Speak and be heard."

"One thousand thanks, Your Royal Highness. In your day, was it not customary for the Court to award a boon to those who saved the life of a noble?" He asked.

She frowned. "The law you speak of has not been invoked in centuries. What is your boon?"

"I seek an altered sentence for His Royal Highness Prince Blueblood." He stated simply.

"What?" I asked, incredulous. He could ask for anything in the kingdom, and he asks to change my sentence?

"Altered in what way?" She asked, guardedly.

"His Royal Highness will serve the Night Court for two hours each session for six months. He will also serve as Apprentice Donuteer in my shop for two hours prior to his Courtly duties. These sentences will run concurrently." He had to have thought about this all along!

"It is unusual to attach a noble to a craftspony's shop as an apprentice."

"But not unheard-of. I can also ensure that His Highness delivers a tray of donuts to your Court each session following his time with me." Joe offered, literally sweetening the deal.

"Deal." She answered quickly. "As long as there's chocolate."

Prince Blueblood, am I to order you to do your duty in serving this sentence?"

"No, ma'am." I said, bewildered at this turn of events.