P.B. and J.

by averageamazingme

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Prince Blueblood, Pony Joe
Length: 32888

Blueblood has royally screwed up his life since landing in the lap of luxury. His foalhood dreams of rising to become ruler of Equestria grow more faint with every new princess. Can a blunt Baker be the pony that Blueblood didn't know he needed?

Princess Celestia finally has enough of the selfish Prince, but everypony has a story. Can an unlikely special somepony bring out the best in Blueblood? Some flavors clash. Some flavors mingle. Does a bit of sweetness make up for a lifetime of sour?

The lives of the pampered prince and the brash and brawny baker become intertwined thanks to Blueblood's uncanny abilities. Can this donut-doling darling deal with the prideful, persnickety Prince?

(I promise there isn't a ton of Alliteration in the story)

Published 2016-02-25 01:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2018-07-15 14:28:40 UTC

P.B. and ... Alcohol?

Cinnamon.

It's a common spice in Equestria. Canterlot certainly has enough of the stuff to bury a sizable portion of the populace. A pony of means wouldn't ever think about where it came from. There wasn't a single reason why it should be on my mind. Thanks to one pony, it was all I could think about.

Perhaps I could blame my common upbringing. I wasn't born to privilege, as shocking as that may be. My parents passed away when I was young, leaving me to grow up in an orphanage. Without a doubt, I wouldn't have had much of a life were it not for my dear 'aunt.' Who would question the word of the ruler of Equestria? Certainly not the poor, misbred types in the orphanage.

I'd put the filthy place and the filthy ponies behind me. Celestia's kindness gave me new advantages. Friends, even the fake, disposable ones you could find under any rock in the capitol, were always close at hoof. Fillies, mares, even stallions, all vied for my attention. As I grew, I came to know the pleasures they would willingly give me in exchange for a few pleasant words or even merely being in my presence. The power was intoxicating. My aunt could keep her court; I was the prince of pleasure.

These pleasures were short-lived. My appetite was insatiable at times and my attention even more fleeting than the flight of a hummingbird. Most ponies floated away like leaves in a whirlwind. Some blew up at me like fireworks. Those flashes could be entertaining.

Then again, some blew up a little too close to my perfect face.

"Get out of my carriage, you-you hedonist!" I'd been called worse.

I wasn't sober enough to deal with her annoying orders. "Lighten up. Do you know how far it is from the castle?"

"I'm certain I don't care! It would teach you to play with the emotions of a proper young mare." She huffed. She ordered the driver to stop. The subservient earth pony complied readily. The dumb bastard was too short-sighted to realize he'd likely take the brunt of it when her parents found out he allowed her to kick a prince to the curb. Literally.

"Heather Fields, just listen to me you silly mare!" I began.

She cut me off rudely. "Not another word. Out before I have the driver show you his skill with a whip!"

"'Druther see your skill with a whip—hey!" She actually shoved me. Me!

I stumbled, inelegantly landing half on the curb and half in the gutter. The sheer nerve of it all took my breath away. Her behavior far eclipsed that filly at the Gala! As I stood, I realized I'd landed in a disgustingly dirty puddle. Without another word, they were off again before I could do more than shoot her a withering glance. I shook myself, not dislodging the filth I'd accumulated one bit. From what I could tell in the dim streetlights, I might have actually made things worse. Cringing at my state, I stamped a hoof. Once again, I felt the splash of the puddle beneath me as my reward for the fit of pique.

Celestia! All this over a little flirting with another mare at the club. A club she wouldn't have ever gotten into without me! That's gratitude for you. She only had to deal with the fleeting indignity, I'd be washing my mane and coat for a week to get rid of this smell!

Looking around to get my bearings, I realized swiftly that I had no clue where I was. I could hardly be blamed; I had ponies in charge of little details like locations. Not to mention I wasn't in my finest state of mind between the alcohol I'd consumed and the anger I felt at being shoved out into the cold.

Speaking of which, I began to definitely feel the chill of the night's air. It seeped into me through the wet spot on my front. I'd have to have words with my nightmare aunt for this freakish autumn cold snap. I picked a direction and went with it. There were bound to be ponies I could use to get directions or maybe even a ride.

Instead, a half a block from where I started, I heard a voice. "E-excuse me, sir. Are you going very far? You look about ready to catch a cold. What are you doing out this late?"

"I'm trudging." I answered spitefully.

"What?" He asked simply.

I sighed and spoke more loudly. "Trudging. You know, to trudge. The slow, weary, depressing yet determined walk of a stallion who has nothing left in life except the impulse to simply soldier on." I quoted a line from a play about a tale of knights that some pretty face or another had dragged me to. It was the only memorable part of the evening; she was another of those 'proper mares.' Maybe I'd give up proper mares entirely. They seemed to be nothing but trouble. I'm sure my aunt Celestia would be scandalized, if she even noticed anything I did anymore.

"Well, if you wanna trudge into my shop and warm yourself, you could." I took a closer look at my would-be hero. He was a brown unicorn with an even darker brown mane. His muzzle was a bit rounder than most stallions. By his apparel, I'd guessed he was a baker; his apron, white chef's shirt and small hat gave it away. His rough accent wasn't any part of Canterlot I recognized.

He spoke again, interrupting my inspection. "I'll even throw in a donut and some hot chocolate. On the house."

I walked up to him and looked him over curiously. "I'm Prince Blueblood, nephew to Princess Celestia and a very important pony."

Without a moment's hesitation, he stuck out a forehoof. "I'm Joe. Ponies call me Donut Joe or Pony Joe.”

“Pony Joe?” I asked, confused at the name as mush as at his total lack of reaction towards the fact that a prince stood before him.

“Eeyup, now let’s get inside before we have a prince-icle to thaw.” He said with a smile.

I frowned, but started for the door. When I realized he hadn’t made a move to hold the door for me, I turned to stare at him darkly. Rudely, he slapped my flank. The contact startled me into opening the door (mostly with my face) and stumbling into the shop.

A combination of bluster and booze kept me from doing more than spluttering at him indignantly. It hit me as I stared at his smile. Either he thought I was some filthy crazed pony or he was into stallions. And princes.

"You wanna freshen up a bit? You look a little...messy." Ah, he thought I was a crazy dirty pony then. I lifted my chin and stalked over to the common bathroom he pointed out. Were it not for the state of my dress, I'd have no doubt impressed him as a vision of perfection.

The smell of the bakery finally made its way through my booze-addled senses and I closed my eyes in appreciation. This proved to be among the many poor choices I'd made prior (and since), as I tripped over a wet floor sign and hit the ground.

Hard.

To put it lightly, that's when I called it a night.

P.B. and ... Pancakes?

I woke up with a terrible headache and a horrid taste in my mouth. Moaning, I rolled over and covered my head with a pillow. The covers weren’t as soft as I remembered, although I might’ve been addled by last night’s libations. Then, like a series of waves, it hit me.

This was not my bed.

I was not wearing a single stitch.

The scent of cheap soap meant I was clean.

A soft, stalliony chuckle told me I was not here alone.

Sweet Celestia.

“Welcome back to the land of the living.” A cheery, semi-familiar voice chimed.

Another groan. “’Druther be dead.”

A laugh. “Pain is supposed to teach you a lesson. What have you learned?”

I cracked an eye open to glare at my nursemaid. The pain from the light had me scrunching the lid back over the offended organ. It didn’t help much and I moaned again. “Oh, I’m never drinking again.”

“I have something that might help with that hangover.” A drink with ice rattled nearby. I resisted the urge to blast it.

“If it's not at least 15% alcohol by volume, I don’t care.”

This elicited another chuckle. “So much for never drinking again. Do this often?”

“The drinking, the blackout, or waking up in a strange stallion's bed?”

“Yes to all of those.”

I rolled over and sat up. “Yes, sometimes, and not as often as it seems.”

I opened my eyes to see Joe. Pony Joe the donut baker. “I called for a doctor when you hit the floor. While we were cleaning you up, we realized who you were…”

“Told you.” It sounded more petulant than I intended.

“You were drunk and dirty. Not exactly prime Prince condition.”

I scoffed. “I could hardly be blamed for either.”

“Of course.” I didn’t appreciate the tone.

“And you just invited a drunk dirty stranger into your bakery?”

He nodded. “Yes. Homelessness is rare around here, but it does happen.”

“And you weren’t worried about a random lush causing damage or worse?”

“If you go around expecting the worst from ponies, that’s all you’ll ever see. I do my best to help ponies in need and I’m rarely harmed in the process.” He said offering me the glass of hangover potion.

“I find you annoyingly, foalishly optimistic.” I announced as I took the medicine. I'd tasted worse, but that was long ago.

Joe shrugged. “Guilty as charged.”

Shuddering at the taste, I finished and replied. “Well, at least I didn’t turn up at the castle like that. My aunt would be on my case all day today.”

“Oh, well, I might give you a heads-up then. I sent a message to the castle to let them know where you were.”

I tensed. “By ‘a message to the castle,' you mean…”

“To the head of Princess Luna’s House Guard, who was the top guard on duty at the time.”

I heaved a sigh of relief. I’d just have to convince Luna not to tell her sister. Then again, that would be harder than it sounded. We weren’t exactly close. I had until Luna woke up around midafternoon, if I was lucky.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want them to worry about you, so…”

“They wouldn’t have worried about me.” I answered tersely.

He frowned. “That’s a little rough. Princess Celestia…”

“Her Highness hasn’t spoken to me, except to express her disappointment, in quite some time.” I said stiffly.

“I didn’t know.” He said.

I sniffed. “I’m not surprised a nopony like you didn't. Nopony knows.”

He seemed to brush my rudeness off like crumbs. “If the rumors are to be believed about you, Prince Blueblood, then I would understand her disappointment.”

“You don’t know the first thing about me.” I said crossly.

“I'd like to.” Joe said boldly.

“Why? What game are you playing? Trying to get a job as the castle donut maker?” I asked accusingly.

He shook his head, that annoying smile back on his face. “I like travelling too much to want to spend my life in a castle.”

“Well, at least you have that much right.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“Remind me of my gilded cage?” I offered.

He snorted. “That’s a bit melodramatic. Have you ever tried setting up a vacation outside of Canterlot?”

“To do what? I’m not the charity-shilling type. I’m not a patron of any reputable business or organization. Do you think royalty can just flit about without a reason?”  I said, waving a forelimb dramatically. He didn't respond.

I sighed heavily. “I was born to privilege and with that comes specific obligations.”

“Sounds like you haven’t tried very hard.”

“How would you know? You don’t know anything about me?” I repeated.

“I’d like to.” He insisted.

“I’ve told you about me and you either don’t believe me or don’t believe I’m trying.”

“You haven’t told me about you.” He stated calmly.

“What are you talking about? Of course I have!”

“You’ve spoken of the Princess, of what you are not, and of what you are sure you can’t do. None of that is ‘you.’”

My ire rose. “I’m an elite. A prince. And I’m quite through with this useless conversation. Has my escort arrived to return me to the palace?”

“No.” Joe waved a scroll in one hoof. “In accordance with the orders of Her Royal Highness Princess Luna, His Royal Highness Prince Blueblood is to make an appearance at the Court of the Night on his own behest and at the open of court hours of the date listed below.”

He passed the letter to me and added, “It’s today’s date, by the way.”

“I can read.” I hissed. The letter had a second page addressed to Joe, thanking him for saving my life and dignity. No wonder he felt so comfortable being cheeky.

And there I sat, alive, yet most INdignant. “I suppose you think this is funny.”

“It has a certain humor to it, but I’m not all that happy.” He admitted.

“Why not? Most ponies would be giddy at the chance to see me in disgrace.”

“I have a feeling those ponies might have their reasons for doing so. On the other hoof, I have no reason to be happy that my guest is upset.”

“I am NOT upset!” I roared at him.

“I can see that.” He said drily. “Just call a cab and…”

“I don’t have any bits on me.” I admitted.

“And the castle guard wouldn’t cover for you?”

“Under the circumstances…” I trailed off at the thought of Aunt Celestia hearing about me begging cab fare off of a guardpony. “I don’t want Celestia to know what happened last night.”

“Hmm. You don’t think Princess Luna’s already told her?”

“If she went through the trouble to summon me, no. If she’d told Celestia, I’d be dragged into the Court of the Day.”

"I'll go with you." Joe offered. "We can even get pancakes on the way."

"What?"

"Pancakes are a flat, round, fried cake. Usually served with syrup..."

"I know." I said testily.

"Well, unless you have another way to get to the castle. The castle is several blocks away. You might get there in time for Court. If you leave now, that is."

I narrowed my eyes. "Fine. I just have one question."

"Yes?"

I felt heat rush to my face. "Where are my clothes?"

P.B. and ... Chocolate?

"I'd say 'relax' if I thought you would listen to anything I have to say now." Joe remarked.

Unclenching my jaw, I hissed at him, "You can leave."

"I don't want to." He said, cheerfully.

Bad enough that I was forced to appear at my 'Aunt' Luna's Night Court. Worse, I had to wait in line. The guards seemed to get a kick out of making sure I waited as long as possible. Finally, the tooth-decaying icing on this flank-fattening cake was that HE wouldn't just leave.

"What are you--" I was rudely cut off by one of Luna's House Guards.

"Her Royal Highness will see you now. She requests the presence of Mr. Joe, should he be so inclined."

"Thank you, we'll be in presently." Joe said to the guard. He turned to me. "Ready to get this over with?"

"Beyond ready." I moaned.

We approached Luna's throne, making the appropriate bows as we came to stand before her.

"Ah, if it isn't Our Nephew." She said. "Our gracious subject, Mr. Pony Joe, We thank you for your service to Our Nephew. Please rise."

I spoke. "Aunt Luna..."

She held up a hoof. "That you would be so informal does not bode well for the idea that you have learned a lesson. Lady Heather Fields is a mare of gentle upbringing. Our Court has a complaint against you from her father. We—I hope you realize the seriousness of this action."

I nodded. A complaint against a noble could result in one of many scenarios. In the most extreme cases, banishment, being stripped of titles and imprisonment could be utilized. Luna and I were not on good terms. I didn't think she'd go that far, but I recognized the danger that she could.

"As I understand it, nephew, this is not the first complaint to come against you. That this complaint should come from another noble house only serves disharmony..."

The speech was so predictable. Luna must've studied Celestia's speech and memorized it by heart. Actually, Luna probably put more feeling into it than her sister.

"...a duty to Canterlot and her citizens..."

Idly, I wondered if I'd actually get sent to one of the House of Day holdings outside of Canterlot. It would put a serious cramp in my lifestyle, but it would allow me to get out of the city. So long as it was sufficiently civilized. With a sniff of disdain, I thought of Ponyville.

"DOST THOU ATTEND US, NEPHEW?" The use of the Royal Canterlot Voice caught my attention as it blew me back a step.

"Of course, Your Highness." I said.

"Well then, I do hope you have no objections to your punishment." She said. Another nod.

"Yes, you have an objection?" She asked, frowning.

I shook my head. "I await your judgment."

She sighed. "Thou didst not attend us then. We have given it."

Her expression left me no choice, it was time to break out the A game. I hated using it, but I'd screwed up royally by zoning her out completely. Bowing low, I let out a single tear and said plaintively. "I can only humbly beg your mercy, Your Highness."

I dared a look upwards. The show of emotion seemed to have an affect on my aunt. Unfortunately, it wasn't the desired one. "Our sister has spoken of your rare displays of emotion. Your alligator's tears will not work on me."

"Send me away then." I said boldly. "It's what Aunt Celestia desired since I reached adulthood."

"Ah, now that show of emotion I believe." She said with a smile. With Joe and now Luna, I'd had enough of ponies smiling at me.

"So, what is it? Have I finally lost my title as prince? Shall I pack for the Badlands or the Frozen North?" I stomped my hoof, feeling decidedly less stallion-like and more like a petulant foal. I hated that.

"Believe it or not, nephew, your aunts love you. We, and by 'we' this time I mean Celestia and myself, want to see you as more than just a party accessory." She lifted her head. "You will serve the Court of the Night for two hours every session as an advisor. This Court needs a younger voice and you are well acquainted with the nobles and notables of the next generation. Is this clear?"

My ears flattened against my skull. "Can you do that? I'm of the House of the Day..."

She held a hoof up to silence me. "I can. The old laws from before my banishment made it clear that service across House lines was an appropriate punishment for those with a certain lack of harmony. I have also discussed the matter with the Head of the House of the Day. She agreed most readily to my suggestion."

My heart sank even lower. "So, Celestia knows about last night." I observed.

"Indeed, nephew." Luna said softly. "I could order you, but I would rather you be willing. Prince Blueblood, will you serve me in my Court?"

It was the first time she'd referred to me by my title and name. Maybe she respected me at least that much. That was a damn sight better than the disdain her sister had exhibited. Could I serve Nightmare...Luna?

"Yes, Your Highness." I answered formally. "For how long?"

"Considering the insult to Lady Fields, your lack of attention, your fit of temper and your general disposition, a term of one year and one day's service would not have been outside the norm back in my day."

Joe tapped a hoof on the ground. Luna looked at him sharply. To his credit, he didn't falter. She nodded. "The Court of the Night recognizes the input of citizen Pony Joe. Speak and be heard."

"One thousand thanks, Your Royal Highness. In your day, was it not customary for the Court to award a boon to those who saved the life of a noble?" He asked.

She frowned. "The law you speak of has not been invoked in centuries. What is your boon?"

"I seek an altered sentence for His Royal Highness Prince Blueblood." He stated simply.

"What?" I asked, incredulous. He could ask for anything in the kingdom, and he asks to change my sentence?

"Altered in what way?" She asked, guardedly.

"His Royal Highness will serve the Night Court for two hours each session for six months. He will also serve as Apprentice Donuteer in my shop for two hours prior to his Courtly duties. These sentences will run concurrently." He had to have thought about this all along!

"It is unusual to attach a noble to a craftspony's shop as an apprentice."

"But not unheard-of. I can also ensure that His Highness delivers a tray of donuts to your Court each session following his time with me." Joe offered, literally sweetening the deal.

"Deal." She answered quickly. "As long as there's chocolate."

Prince Blueblood, am I to order you to do your duty in serving this sentence?"

"No, ma'am." I said, bewildered at this turn of events.

P.B. and ... Jelly?

P.B. and ... Jelly Stains?

The irritating bell on the door jingled as I walked in. In spite of my sunglasses, I drew attention. I expected as much; I am a glorious specimen of stallionhood. Heaving a sigh, I went to speak to my psuedo-employer, Pony Joe. The next six months would consist of trying to please him and my Aunt Luna.

Nose aloft, I ignored the glances and whispers. I kept my face neutral, but inwardly I despised these common, gossipping nags. My mood soured. Not that having to come here to satisfy my dear Aunt's judgment had me in a good mood anyway.

"Nice shades, Blueby. Ditch 'em in a locker and suit up quick. I'll need you in the back." Joe said.

Pleasing him would be a taller task than I anticipated.

"The back?" I asked, frowning. My good looks would no doubt impress fillies and gentlecolts into buying more at the counter. "I thought I was selling donuts."

He snorted rudely. "Are you kidding me? With that sour mug? I don't know which would go bad first, the donuts or the customers." He asserted. "It's not a good time of the week to teach you the counter. I trust you can sort out a few donuts. Hope you've got good levitation practice."

The thought gave me pause. I hadn't actually exercised levitation since I was a foal. Just the thought of how much magic it would take to fill box upon box of donuts was daunting.

I trotted to the back and found an empty locker quickly. There was a uniform, with my name on it even, hanging up inside. After I changed, I spent some time ensuring it fit me right. Satisfied that I could at least accomplish that much, I turned around and bumped right into Joe.

"Ow." I said eloquently. "What, were you watching me change?"

Joe rubbed his head and rolled his eyes. "I just came to see what was taking you so long."

"What in tartarus are you talking about? I just got my uniform on." I posed a bit to show off the white outfit.

"All right, you clothes-horse, let's get to work already." Joe ordered, pointing the way to the kitchen.

As he spoke, he pointed things out. "I've laid out my kitchen so it makes sense. What you gotta do is take them from the racks and put em in a box, tissues below, between and on top. You have your powdered, iced, glazed, twists, sprinkled, rings, bars, and donut holes. Pay close attention to the filled; there's a hole that shows what's inside if you absolutely have no clue. Then we got ursa claws, crullers, churros, and conchas. Cinnamon buns come regular, iced, sugared and with raisins. Donut holes go in one of these special boxes and then they go in the big box if they're part of a bigger order."

He turned to me. "Do I still have you so far?"

A trifle overwhelmed, I concluded, "You sell donuts."

Joe smiled and patted my shoulder. "We'll make a baker out of you yet. I love the sense of humor."

He grabbed a slip from the counter. "Here's the order sheet. I only have eight for you to do so that you can get a good idea of where everything is."

"Last but not least." Joe whipped something off of the counter nearby and had it on my head before I could blink. "Health code says you have to keep your mane covered. I trust you get brushed well enough to keep from shedding. Also, wash your forehooves and wear the plastic gloves before touching anything with your hooves."

"I thought I would just levitate everything." I said.

Joe shrugged. "It's a lot of donuts. If you last, great. If not, the gloves."

"What if I'm not done by the end of our time?"

"Work to the best of your ability. And I do mean the best. Your Aunt Luna wants a report from me as often as possible and I intend to have nothing but glowing praise for you as long as you deserve it."

"What are you getting out of this? Why use a special favor from the Princesses just to have me work in your bakery?"

"I hope I can tell you soon." He said enigmatically. "Now get to work."

"Yes sir." I said, sarcastically.

***

Halfway through and one headache later, I washed my forehooves and grabbed the gloves. I nearly had the fifth box complete when it happened. I grabbed a jelly-filled donut a little too quickly and...

SPLORCH

The cursed pastry shot a hearty helping of jelly directly onto my apron. My magic kept me from getting hit before this, so the red stain was even more prominent on the otherwise spotless apron. In surprise, I dropped the donut.

Heading to the sink, I heard my old etiquette teacher's voice in my head. 'A Prince must never suffer a single stain. How unsightly! You must be careful! I shoved the voice aside as I wiped most of the jelly off...and made a bigger stain in the process. Hooves shaking, I took a deep breath and tried again, making sure to use cold water. The stain faded, but the spot was still pinkish.

Frustrated, I gave up on the apron. Leaning against the counter, I inhaled slowly. I hated staining clothes. Had Joe's apron been dirty? I couldn't recall it being so. Would he be mad that I stained an apron? Surely, somepony could get the stain out. Shaking my head, I took a few more deep breaths and tried to calm myself. When a hot tear slid down my cheek, I realized I wasn't handling this well.

"It's just an apron, damn it." I said to myself, kicking a cabinet foalishly.

"Blue, are you alright?" Joe asked. It was remarkable how bad his timing was. Well, bad for me.

"Just got a stain on my apron."

"And your shirt, too." Joe pointed out. I looked down in horror to see that the jelly had, in fact, gone through the apron and onto the shirt. "I've thought about switching to black aprons, but it just doesn't have the same visual appeal as a clean white one."

I rubbed my eyes. A lump was forming in my throat. I had to get a handle on myself before I did something embarrassing. I'd been through worse, like when that purple-maned mare shook her coat off on me. The memory didn’t help; I started shaking more.

"Blue, look at me." Joe said softly. He was close, almost too close but not yet touching me. I did, through teary eyes. "It's okay. I'm not mad about a dirty apron." He gently wiped my cheek.

I groaned. "Ugh! I'm fine! It's just allergies." I pushed his hoof away and headed to the bathroom.

"There's a new shirt on a hook in there; feel free to use it." He offered.

When I returned in the new shirt, I went straight back to filling orders without sparing a look at the donut proprietor. Thankfully, he didn't say anything and went back out to the front. The old apron and fallen donut was nowhere to be seen.

P.B. and ... Pineapple?

Another day, another jingle above my head. Joe looked to be busy with customers, so I went back to my locker to change. Before I could do more than set my glasses down, Joe tapped my shoulder.

"Um, Blue?" He asked.

"Yeah, Joe? I'm not late am I?" We'd had that argument once this week. Given Aunt Luna's rather long-winded reprimand, I wasn't looking to repeat it.

"No. It's just." I turned around to look at him. He was smiling, but still managed to look concerned. "It's the weekend."

"What does that...oh!" I smacked my forehead. Luna's judgment stated that I had to work with Joe before every session of Night Court. Night Court wasn't held on the weekends. "I don't have to work. Ugh! And I sent off the guards and carriage before I set hoof in here!"

"Do you want me to call you a cab, champ?" He asked. His tone seemed to be lightly mocking. To my chagrin, I had no witty remarks with which to respond.

"I don't feel like hearing it from Aunt Celestia's House Guard." I sighed.

"Oh, well. I may have a solution to that." He pulled out a bag. By the clinking, I reasoned there must be bits inside.

"Normally, I'd be the first to take advantage of your kindness. But, I already owe you enough and I hate owing anypony anything." I said, waving a hoof.

"This isn't mine. It's yours." Joe insisted.

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"This is your earnings from the work you did." He explained, reaching out to give me the bag.

Still confused, I took hold of the bag. Joe smiled. "I wasn't expecting this. I thought I was working only to satisfy Luna's judment."

"No reason you can't earn money of your own. The judgment doesn't say anything against it. I don't run a charity, I run a business. Having you work for free would be too much like slavery for my tastes. So, take some pride in what you do here and enjoy the benefits of working."

It wasn't much. After all, I only worked ten hours a week. But it was mine. Not my allowance from the House of the Day. Not given to me because I was a prince. My earnings from my work. It was a new and strange sensation. Before I could give it too much thought, I put the bag into a pocket and looked up at Joe.

"I actually close the store earlier on the weekend so, if you don't mind hanging around while I close things up, I'll take the cab with you." He offered.

"Alright. But, do I have to go back to the castle right away?" I asked, shifting on my hooves nervously.

"Only if you want to." Joe said as he turned towards the front. "I'm sorta responsible for you though, so wherever you go, I'm going with you."

Could I live with that condition? It was better than having one of Aunt Celestia's tattle-tale guards sighing at every stop. "Deal." I said with a touch of resignation. No reason to let him think I wanted him around.

***

"So, what do normal ponies do after work?" I asked casually as Joe locked the front door.

"We could go get something to eat." Joe pointed out.

I shrugged. "Do you know a place? I'm not familiar with the lower income districts."

"Lower—How familiar are you with Canterlot?" Joe asked, incredulous.

"I've lived here my whole life." I blustered. "Of course, I'm familiar with Canterlot. Very much so."

Joe's eyes narrowed. "What street are we on?"

"I-uh, don't see what this has to do with anything." I replied, defensively.

Joe leaned against the doorway. "That's what I thought. Well, Your Highness, it's time you got a crash course in Canterlot's...lower income districts." Joe said with derisive humor. "For starters, you're on Wagon Way, the main thoroughbredfare in the delivery district. Canterlot's Courier Center up the road is a big anchor of the district and it's a multi-million bit earning business. Not what I'd call low-income."

We hopped into a cab and Joe spent the trip schooling me on places we passed. It had never been part of my studies to learn the layout of the city. Well, it might have been, but I wasn't exactly the best student. I was starting to learn the practical value of knowing where one was going. Joe seemed to know that I was paying attention, although I mostly feigned boredom. I couldn't let him see that I was interested in something so common.

"Here we are, delManeco's Bitalian Restaurant." Joe said with a flourish.

We walked into the establishment and were greeted by an orange pegasus with red mane and tail. The pegasus greeted us warmly. "Pony Joe! It's about time you show up! You son of a gelding, you owe me from that last hoof-ball game!"

"Erede delManeco! Why you gotta bust my chops in front of royalty?"

"Royalty? Oh sweet Celestia!" Erede exclaimed. "Your Royal Highness! What an honor!"

"I'm sure." I said dismissively. "We're just here to have dinner. Joe seems to think your fare is fit for a prince."

"Well, Joe is correct. This restaurant has been in my family for many generations. We’ve served nobles and nopony's. Please, follow me to our private room and we'll prove our worth to you."

As we perused the menu, an oddity stuck out to me. "Pineapple Newburg?"

Joe looked up from his menu and smiled. "It's seasonal, so we're in luck that we came now. This restaurant originated the dish and it is amazing. Trust me, you'll love it."

"Fine, I'll just be a moment in the restroom. Make sure to order something non-alcoholic. I don't need the Royal Guard on my rear about drinking again." I said as I stood.

My necessities taken care of, I sojourned down the hall and stopped as I heard raised voices coming from the private room.

Erede's voice came through loud and clear. The Bitalian stallion wasn't a quiet one. "Joe, you must be joking. I'm not even a creme-puff like you and I can see how attractive that prince is!"

Joe laughed. "Red, his reputation is well-established. You want to see if the rumors are true, just you go and try it yourself."

I opened the door none-too-subtly. "So that's what this is all about, huh?"

Joe stood up. "Blue, let me--"

"No, I don't want to hear it." I spat. "I'm not some two-bit floozy who'll just jump into bed with anypony."

"Blue, you know that's not how I think of you." Joe said.

"I don't know how you think of me and I'm sure I don't want to know!" With that, I slammed the door between us and went to catch a cab.

P.B. and ... Salt?

P.B. and ... Tears?

"Prince Blueblood, I hope you are paying attention." Princess Luna remarked. Her voice snapped me out of my black cloud and I sighed.

"Sorry, Your Royal Highness." I answered.

Princess Luna sighed. In the voice just below her Royal Canterlot voice, she announced. "Court has ended. Guards, please escort all citizens and personnel out and take position outside the chamber. My nephew and I have matters to discuss."

"You're closing court early?" I asked, surprised.

She gave me a look. "What time do you suppose it is?"

I looked around. There wasn't a clock anywhere in the throne room, so I had no clue. My first instinct was to bluster, but Luna would see through that and call me on it. "I don't know, Your Highness."

"Blue, you and I are alone now. You may address me as you wish." Luna said. "To answer my own question, though, it is midnight. You overstayed your hours. At first, I thought you had taken interest in the cases coming before us, but as I checked on you, you seemed not to take much notice of anything."

I bowed, a bit stiff from sitting for so long. "I can only crave your pardon, Aunt Luna. My mind was...elsewhere."

"Perhaps it has something to do with this?" Luna asked. I looked up to see her holding up a letter with a familiar cutie mark stamped on it.

My ears flattened. "He told you?"

Luna set the letter down. "He makes it quite clear that he would not have asked for me to intercede if he thought he could handle the matter himself. However, a certain somepony isn't speaking to him." She said.

My anger was prodded. "Forgive my rudeness, but it is none of your business, Princess Luna."

She raised her eyebrows. "Petulance will get you nowhere, nephew. Why are you not speaking to Joe?"

"Isn't it in his letter?" I asked dismissively.

"I want to hear it from you." She insisted.

I clenched my teeth. "I don't want to talk about it. I just want to serve my time and be done with it."

"And then what?" Luna asked.

"Then it won't matter to you or anypony else what I do to fill my time." I retorted.

She tilted her head sideways. "What makes you so certain nopony cares?"

Looking away, I growled. "I didn't say that."

"Forgive me. Perhaps I read to much into what you were saying. What do you mean that it won't matter?" She asked, reaching out to me.

I took a step back out of hoof range. "It won't affect anypony else."

Luna stood, setting the letter alight and leaving it to burn to ash midair. "You're certain of that?"

"Nothing I did mattered before. Unless I insulted somepony." I pointed out.

"I do not think you give my sister enough credit." She began.

I cut her off. "Everypony gives her more than enough credit. What does my opinion of her matter?"

"We are family." Luna said simply.

My entire body tensed. "I ask humbly that I may be excused from your presence, Your Royal Highness." I said through gritted teeth.

"We're finally getting somewhere, then?" She asked knowingly. "Denied. We will speak of this situation until it is remedied."

I turned to leave, too angry to care about the consequences of disregarding her order.

"Blueblood. Please stop! I am trying to help you."

Turning back to face her, I let my anger loose. "Listen here, Princess Nightmare. Of all the creatures in the entirety of the kingdom, the very last and least of those I would confide in is you. Your sister may have forgiven you, but there are more than a few ponies who have their doubts about your true intentions, myself included. You've forced me to sit by you and in all the time I've done so I've noticed just how little you do for this kingdom. If you think settling noble disputes and minor claims between citizens actually has any bearing on the direction that Celestia is leading us, then you're delusional as well as lazy. Whatever you have planned for me, count me out. The day I do as you bid is the day I cast myself into the deepest pit of tartarus."

Somepony cleared their throat behind me. I suddenly had a wretchedly bad feeling about my lot in life. Taking a deep breath, I turned around to look at Her Royal Highness, Head of the House of the Day, my Aunt Princess Celestia.

Her expression was hardened. I wasn't sure how much she'd heard, but it had to be more than enough to get me thrown into a cell. I went down on one knee and bowed my head.

"I'd say I expected better, but I've had enough experience with your entitled attitude, nephew." Celestia said icily.

Luna was at my side before I knew it. "Sister, I provoked this response from him."

With my head bowed, my eyebrows shot up and my ears perked towards Luna.

"He was taught better, Luna. Provoked or not, he is an adult and must answer for his disrespect."

"Nopony else saw or heard this, Celestia. He has nopony to answer to but me."

"You can't let him off the hook like this, Luna. He'll only get worse until strong corrective measures are taken."

"This is my court, Celestia. It may be dismissed, but I still hold power until sunrise."

"Luna!"

"Has 'strong corrective measures' worked on him before?"

"I've made more than enough excuses for him, myself. He has yet to find himself under such measures."

Luna drew herself up. She wasn't a match for Celestia physically, but her presence made up the difference. Celestia was caught off-guard by Luna's vehemence. "Princess Celestia. The insult was made against me in my own court. By our own rules, his punishment is mine to administer. Is that clear, sister?"

"You will punish him?" Celestia asked.

"Whether or not I do so is up to me. Will you deny me that right?" Luna asked harshly.

Celestia's expression softened. "You know I love you both. I'm only trying to do what's right."

"Then let me take care of it. Not to put too fine a point on it, but your oversight on our nephew has yet to yield the desired results."

"I leave him to you. Fully."

"Sister, please..."

"Prince Blueblood, you are now a member of the House of the Night. You will give full respect to the head of your house, or you will answer to both of us. Is that understood?"

Kicked out of the House of the Day? I shook as I answered. "Yes, Your Royal Highness."

She turned and left without another word to either of us. As the door closed, I let loose silent tears and sank down to sit on the floor. Luna wrapped a wing around me hesitantly. My first thought was to push her away, but I just didn't have the energy. I wept onto her shoulder.

P.B. and ... Donuts?

I sat in Princess Luna's quarters. She'd led me there, dazed from Celestia's decision to give me over to the noble House of the Night. It was a move unprecedented in living memory.

"Sh-she kicked me out." I said, realization slowly dawning on me.

Luna floated a cup of tea over to me. "To be fair, you are still a prince." Luna offered helpfully.

I took the cup and stared down into it. "In the house of a villain."

Luna sighed. "Branches and boulders."

I snorted. "I think you mean, 'sticks and stones.'"

"Those would not break my bones." I looked up at her. She didn't seem to be mocking me or bragging. She was just stating a fact.

I shrugged. "Fair enough."

Taking a sip from her own cup, Luna leaned back. "Celestia's decision was...spectacularly thoughtless."

"At least we can agree on that." I said darkly.

Luna set her cup down and focused on me. "I don't think my sister has done right by you in a long time."

I leaned my head onto a hoof. "Preaching to the choir, Lulu."

Luna smiled. "There's a name I haven't heard in a while. Anyway, she hasn't done right by you, until now."

I scoffed. "How can you say—well, okay I guess I can see that."

"Y-you can?" Luna asked, surprised.

I set my cup down and regarded her fully. "Yeah, this is quite a coup for you, actually. I'm a popular pony. You aren't. If nothing else, the curiosity factor should bring in a few more noble houses to your court. Since I've had the luxury of sitting in on it, don't think I haven't noticed how...sparsely populated it is."

Luna tilted her head and muttered, "Almost as if a lever was pulled."

I leaned back and put my hooves behind my head. "This political stunt is exactly the kind of magic Aunt Celly is good at. I should have seen it coming."

Luna shook her head. "Do you hear yourself when you talk? She loves you but isn't sure how to handle you. A thousand years of ruling alone haven't done anything to improve her familial relations. To tell you the truth, I don't think even now that she fully understands what led me to give into the nightmares."

An unpleasant part of me thought she might have a point. It was silenced by the experiences I'd had with my dear, distant 'aunt.' "How could you understand? You've been banished for a thousand years. Even an alicorn can change in that much time."

Luna's lips pressed into a thin line. She looked ready to yell, but then she took a breath and relaxed her jaw. "My sister does not always do things for political reasons, Blue. She adopted you as a nephew. What did that gain her? To all outward appearances, you are just a spoiled, trouble-making prince."

"It's not just an outward appearance, Luna. I'm the prince who used one of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony as a shield against getting splatted with cake. I'm the prince who left a mare of high breeding alone at a bar to go hit on some more visually appealing commoners. I'm the prince who insulted Luna in her own court in front of her sister!"

Luna took a sip of tea before replying. "You are also the prince who falls to pieces around Celestia. A prince who has thus far abided a stiff judgment with grace and humility. A prince who, until recently, even befriended a baker."

"Joe? Let me make this clear, Joe and I are not friends. Not now, not ever. That common, rounded, crass unicorn stallion is beneath my notice." The words felt strange in my mouth. It was certainly how I'd felt about Joe in the beginning.

"Your words lack punch." Luna decided. "Even so, you may want to keep your words sweet. You may have to eat them later. Now, before we argue about your diet, tell me what happened between you two that has you giving him the silent treatment."

I sighed, but relented. Luna listened attentively as I explained the situation at delManeco's. "My reputation preceeds me. Joe isn't a friend. He's a businesspony."

"I think you're wrong." Luna said flatly. "As your Head of House, I am ordering you to resolve your issues. If this is just a misunderstanding, I would like to insist on receiving a dozen death by chocolate donuts."

***

"Well, all it took for you to talk to me again was a special order from Princess Luna, eh?" Joe asked with a nervous smile.

"And being kicked out of my house." I muttered.

"What was that?" Joe asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Nothing. Look. I'm not mad about you...judging me on my reputation. Plenty of other ponies have done the same."

"No, Blueblood, please let me explain." Joe interrupted. His hoof reached out and landed gently on my shoulder. "I...shouldn't have said those things to Red. I didn't mean them."

"Joe, it’s okay. Nothing I haven't heard before."

"Shut up and listen." Joe said, cringing afterwards. "Sorry. I'm not always the nicest pony. I try, but it's tough for me. Especially when I care about somepony."

My ears perked up towards him. "What?"

Joe rolled his eyes and looked at me. "I...care about you, Blue."

"You don't even know me." I countered.

"But I want to know you more." He replied. "I see so much good in you, Blue..."

"Well, you're seeing things. I'm spectacularly thoughtless, hopelessly self-involved, and my attitude toward the common pony is still leagues away from civil."

"I'm a common pony." He pointed out.

"And you think the same way every other common pony does about me. The prince of pleasure! A feckless, foppish, foolish member of a failed noble house!"

"Failed noble house?" Oops, he caught that. I hadn't meant to bring up being banished to Luna's House.

"It-That...I mean." I said eloquently.

"You're a member of the House of the Day. Aren’t you?"

"I...was. I've been given to the House of the Night. Luna is my Head of House. Celestia..." I swiped a hoof at my eyes. Hot tears threatened to mar my perfect features once again.

"I didn't know."

"Nopony does, but everypony will soon. These things have a way of getting out."

"Blue, would you like to stay with me until this blows over?"

"Joe, I-" I stopped. I'd been about to turn him down, but something in the way he asked stopped me. It was a tone like the one Luna'd used, but there was something else to it. "If you don't think I'll be a bother."

"No more so than usual." He said, teasingly. The gruffness of his voice didn't match his expression.

"Oh ha-ha." I replied drily.

P.B. and ... Grain?

"How was your time away from home?" Luna asked, her grin spread wide across her features. The three of us, Joe included, sat together at the dais of the throne room. The current session hit a predictable lull as most ponies were at home.

"It...went well, Aunt Luna." I was loathe to admit it. I'd declined calling him a friend before, but he'd grown on me.

The mare turned her attention to the stallion beside me. "Thank you for your care for my nephew, Joe."

He shook his head, a matching smile on his face. "You might speak to him privately, Your Royal Highness. Blueblood picked up on some baking."

She glanced at me, her mirth seemed well-intentioned, if annoying. "Blue, you must bake for me soon." She said, clapping her hooves together excitedly.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Princess Luna."

She pushed my shoulder, laughing. "I believe the saying goes, 'lighten up.' I promise you I won't think any less of you, even if all you ever learn is to pour icing on donuts."

I lifted my chin. "I can make icing from scratch, dear Aunt Luna." I informed her.

"I am proud of you." She said. Her voice seemed earnest enough and a part of me was unexpectantly touched by her words.

My eyes focused on a pony approaching the dais of the Night Court. There weren't usually very many ponies who regularly attended Luna's Court and the approaching figure was not one of them. On instinct, I straightened my posture and held my chin up. The glare I felt like putting on was neatly hidden behind a mask of indifference.

Turning to Luna, she curtsied exactly as properly as defined in the etiquette texts. She held it until Luna acknowledged her. "Your Royal Highness, it is a pleasure to see you. My name is Civil List, former servant of Her Royal Highness Princess Celestia and former tutor to His Highness, Prince Blueblood. Might I add that you look quite well?"

Luna regarded her civilly. "You may. To what do we owe the pleasure of your company tonight, Ms. List?"

"Ma'am, I came to see for myself if the rumors are true regarding my former student, your nephew, His Royal Highness Prince Blueblood."

"What rumors are these?" Luna asked.

"I beg your pardon, ma'am. To be clear, is he now a member of the House of the Night?" Civil asked.

Luna looked at me. I shrugged and shook my head. It had to come out sooner or later. Civil List was one of the biggest branches on the Canterlot grapevine. "Indeed, he is."

"May I have a moment with him, ma'am?" Civil asked.

I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes. Civil was sure to be disappointed at my current status. I could only imagine the thing's she'd say, given the chance. Luna held up her hoof. "My nephew does not need my permission to leave the court, so long as it is not for an extended amount of time. Prince Blueblood, would you like to speak to Ms. List in private?"

"Your Royal Highness, I think it might be best if I did." I answered, scrambling my brains to figure out what was going on.

"Then you are dismissed, though I expect you to return swiftly. Mr. Joe, I would speak to you on another matter."

Walking quickly, Civil and I exited the throne room and went into a nearby empty room. As soon as the door closed behind us, Civil turned her disapproving stare on me. "The House of the Night?"

My ears flattened. It was as if I was a foal again and used the wrong fork. "Yes, ma'am."

"You had every advantage a foal could ever ask for and you squander it. You've never taken the time to develop your talents. You waste time fooling around and upsetting the other nobles. It’s a wonder the princess didn't banish you!" Her voice, normally devoid of emotion, picked up touches of the anger I knew too well.

I slowed my breathing. It wasn't as if she could punish me. "I've realized the severity of my actions--"

She cut me off. "Have you? I don't think so. A foreign princess and a common unicorn have both ascended into their positions as Princesses of Love and Friendship. You have nowhere near their drive to live up the their potential."

"What does it matter to you?" I asked coldly.

"You thoughtless colt. Your actions have consequences beyond the tip of your horn. My reputation suffers thanks to you. With every tabloid article, my name is discredited. Every stumble you take drags my name through the mud."

"You got away with quite a pension, if memory serves. This isn't about you and it sure as tartarus isn't about me." I replied harshly.

Her head jerked upright. Closing her eyes, she took a breath and adjusted her glasses. Opening her eyes again, her gaze was the coldest I'd ever seen. "Don’t think I've forgotten the mudhole she pulled you from. Every action you've made only proves how much you don't deserve the kindness of the Sisters. It disgusts me to see you dishonor Celestia's charity and it's only a matter of time before Luna sees exactly the kind of ungrateful brat you are. Consider this friendly advice; what goes up must come down. I worked very hard to keep the inevitable from happening out of loyalty to Princess Celestia. But it seems you're bound and determined to return to your natural state."

"Civil." I stated softly, my body shaking. "Go to tartarus." I fixed my best glare on her.

A hoof knocked on the door. One of Luna's guards spoke. "Her Royal Highness has requested the Prince's presence with all haste."

I made to walk past her. As I did, she gave me her parting shot. "You are filth."

Ignoring the old mare's venom, I shook myself and walked back to the throne room. The handful of courtiers made plenty of room for me, avoiding my gaze like the plague. Was that new? I honestly had never noticed until now. Back at Luna's side, I nodded to Joe and took a shaky breath.

Before we could speak, another petitioner entered, seeking a judgment from Luna. Joe moved away from the dais and joined the onlookers, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. I turned my focus on the petitioner.

"You seek damages against my sister?" Luna asked, her tone even but her eyes incredulous.

"Her sun schedule is unfairly decreasing the productivity of my farm. The strain of grain I grow is going bad thanks to the amount of sunshine over my land."

"Is this not a matter for weather ponies?"

"I'm suing them too." The farmer pouted.

Luna seemed at a loss. With a laugh, I leaned over to consult. "Charges against Celestia must be brought up in her court first. She can try to appeal, but that goes to the Equestrian Council, not the Night Court. The rule was devised when Cadence became a princess to prevent fighting between Noble Houses."

Stunned, Luna turned to me. "Thank you, nephew."

P.B. and ... Candy?

I was in the throne room, but it was dark. On the room's edges, shadows curled and wove themselves into a kaleidoscope of terrifying shapes. I focused on the petitioner. Civil List stood before the Night Court.

"There sits a traitor beside the throne!" She declared, pointing a hoof at me.

"Oh?" A low alto voice asked. "And how hast the prince betrayed us?"

"Luna, I would never--" I protested.

"Silence!" Luna hissed, her head wreathed in darkness, only two yellow eyes glowing back at me. I stiffened and closed my mouth.

Civil grinned. "The prince is unworthy of his crown. His heart belongs to a common baker stallion."

"It does not!" I roared.

"We shall have order in our court. Do not speak again, unless spoken to. Continue, Lady List."

List curtsied. "Thank you, Your Royal Highness. In addition to his perversion, the prince harbors no love for either House of Day or Night. His behavior will surely lead both to disgrace. He is a worthless prince; no good has been done by his hoof or by his words. He is not even capable of succeeding either Head of House, let alone rule. I say that he should return to the muck from whence he was plucked and let worthier ponies stand in his place."

"Speak now, prince. Dost thou have anything to say?" Luna asked.

"Your Royal Highness, I honestly seek to improve my reputation. I ask only for time--"

"Time?" Civil scoffed. "Your Royal Highness, this ungrateful whelp had time in plenitude. Years, even. He only squanders them."

"And to the offense of loving another stallion?" Luna asked.

"Your Royal Highness, I don't love Pony Joe that way. He is...a friend."

"Then thou didst lie to us before, when thou didst say that he was not your friend."

"Your Roy--"

"Quiet your lying tongue before I remove it myself. How canst I believe a word from that bedeviled mouth?" She stood, taller than I remembered and with a darker coat. The princess was clad in armor and her fangs glittered. Nightmare Moon! "I think returning you to the muck is too good. You will lie under it, in death!"

"Lu-Luna!" I cried, backing up. She was on me in a flash.

"Time to see if your blood truly is blue!" She said, cackling. Her mouth dove. I flinched, awaiting the fangs in my flesh.

And I waited.

Daring to open my eyes, I saw Nightmare Moon inches away, frozen in place.

"I have to say, that was one of the more...dramatic performances I've seen in a dream." A voice, much more like the Luna I knew, said.

I looked over Nightmare Moon's shoulder to see Luna waving and smiling. Inching away from the frozen villain, I looked at Luna and asked, "A dream?"

She nodded. "I needed to speak to you."

"You can influence dreams?" I asked. Then it hit me. "Did you send me this nightmare to teach me a lesson?"

She shook her head. "The nightmare was of your own creation. I merely stopped it." She started walking away, down towards the throne room exit. "Wouldst thou walk with us a while?"

I took one look at the frozen Nightmare Moon and Civil List. Whatever Luna had planned, it was surely better than this. I galloped over to her side before she'd made it halfway. The scene around us became hazy, but brighter.

"I can influence dreams, but all dreams start with their ponies. A pony dreams in order to distill the wide buffet of information that they take in each day. Your mind discards some of that information and focuses on others. Your dream tonight is in response to your encounter with your tutor, as well as the fears that plague you." The last part was not a question.

"Why are you here?" I asked, irritated at the petulance in my voice again.

She stopped and turned to face me. "To help."

"I'm not worth your time." I insisted.

She tilted her head. "Why not?"

"I'm a useless prince! I use ponies for my own gain and I have nothing to contribute to Equestria. You should just abandon me like your sister did." I looked down before I could cry.

"Why do you feel this way?"

When I looked up again, she was gone.

Turning around, I saw the scene change. A young white coated blond colt practically bounced with excitement. Shaking my head, I groaned. Civil List was back, standing beside the young prince and taking a minute to scold him for not standing still. "Have I taught you nothing?" She asked. "Behave yourself or we will turn right back around this instant!"

With a visible effort, the colt stood still, his energy now contained to a wide grin and bright eyes. Turning to his tutor, the colt asked. "Do you think she'll be proud of me?"

Civil sniffed, looking down her nose. "You'd better hope she has more of an idea what it means than you do. How can you not remember when you got it?"

"But, Civvie, I was so busy all day..." The colt started.

Civil silenced him. "Don't take that whining tone. You know how I feel about that." She rummaged in her bag and retrieved a wrapped candy. "Here, have one of these until we speak to the princess."

"Her Royal Highness will see you now." A guard intoned as the door opened. In numb shock, I followed. I knew what was going to happen, but hoped that Luna would change it again.

Celestia stood from the throne and smiled. "Prince Blueblood. Civil List. It is good to see you, but couldn't this wait until after court?"

Civil sniffed. "His Highness was quite excited and was insistent it be now."

Celestia looked at little Blue. "You're not giving Civil a hard time, are you?"

Little Blueblood shook his head, then remembered himself and bowed. "Your Royal Highness..."

"You could call me Celestia." She pointed out.

"No, ma'am, not in your court." Little Blue argued.

"Blueblood! Do not disagree with the princess!" Civil hissed.

"But you always say..."

"What did I say about arguing?" Civil asked.

Little Blue turned his eyes on his aunt, who'd been sidetracked by an advisor. When she turned back, she sighed. "The delegation from Saddle Arabia is here early. Civil, please keep him entertained. Blue, behave and whatever it is, it can wait until dinner, okay?"

"But!" Little Blue protested, but Celestia had already turned away.

"Come now, Blueblood. What did I tell you about this?" Civil said, turning the little prince back towards the exit.

I turned to watch them go and Luna stood before me. "I think I understand things better now." She said quietly.

My anger flashed. "You did this! You pulled this memory up and made me relive it! I hate you. Get out of my dream, now, Princess Luna!"

A wind kicked up, strong enough that Luna seemed to be moving with it. "Blueblood!"

"OUT!"

P.B. and ... Love

I'd left the palace early that morning. The prospect of running into Luna, even if she'd only been part of the dream, was not a pleasant one. Without guards, I bought a hat, cloak and sunglasses; I really would have to thank Joe for deciding to pay me. The clothes weren't exactly fashionable, but that was the point. For the time being, I couldn't handle being me.

Around noon and after much wandering, I figured out how hungry I was. Unfortunately, after the outfit I was also not really in a position to buy much food. I'd only grabbed a small hoof-full out of the coin purse in my drawer; now I'd come to regret it. Looking around, I realized my second regret. I was lost.

Why did I think this was a good idea?

Well, at least I wasn't having an unpleasant conversation with my aunt. Would Luna tell Celestia? I could only imagine what Celestia would say when--

"Blue?" A familiar voice called out.

I turned around. "Joe?"

Sure enough, it was Pony Joe. He carried a few boxes, presumably full of donuts, in his magic. "You lost?" He asked gruffly, as if he already knew the answer. Well, to be fair, he was right.

Couldn't let him know that. "No, I was just about to go get something to eat. How did you recognize me anyway?"

Did he blush just then? It sure seemed like he was redder than before. "You have a particular...way of walking."

"Way of walking?" I asked.

Joe changed the subject. "So, if you're not doing anything just now, maybe you'd like to come with me to the soup kitchen. I volunteer there every so often. It's worked out well, some of my best bakers were down on their luck ponies."

I hesitated. A soup kitchen filled with poor people? I was trying to suppress those memories. Then again, I wasn't exactly rich myself, especially right now. Besides, I needed to go to work with Joe later today and I had no clue how to get to his shop from here. And maybe I could claim royal privilege and snag some soup.

"I suppose." I said.

"Great!" Joe exclaimed, passing two boxes over to me. I took them in my magic and followed him.

Ten seconds into the soup kitchen and it seemed like regret would follow me around today. The plain wooden décor, the long tables and benches, even the way the soup was served out in a line all reminded me of the orphanage. The muck I came from, I heard Civil say in my head. Shaking myself, I closed my eyes and concentrated on breathing. It was just my bad luck that Joe stopped in front of me, leading to an awkward rear-ending.

"Sorry!" I said quickly, catching the donuts before they hit the floor.

Joe looked embarrassed, not that I could blame him. "It’s okay, just watch where you're going next time. Good catch, by the way. Can you put them all back in the boxes?"

"Uh, sure." I said, and did just that. I wasn't especially gifted at magic, but I had at least that much down.

The donuts safely taken away from me, Joe handed me an apron and we started cooking. Or, rather, he started cooking and I passed him ingredients. Together, we took the soup over to the ladling station and set out the other assorted foodstuffs. The other volunteers opened up the kitchen to the needy ponies and I watched as they filed by. Mares, stallions, foals and elders, but especially mares and foals, all were served kindly and with a friendly amount of banter. Stories were traded, laughs were shared and, aside from the looks of everything, it couldn’t have been less like the orphanage.

I found myself relaxing.

Until my stomach rumbled. Loudly.

Joe just so happened to be nearby. "Oh! Blue, I'm sorry. I forgot you hadn't had lunch yet. Well, everypony's been served and there's more than enough here. If you don't mind eating something from a soup kitchen..."

My stomach rumbled again. "Uh, no. I-I don't mind, that is. I'll, uh, just go get myself a plate."

After my simple, yet hearty, meal was finished, ponies started leaving to go back to wherever they came from. Joe organized the volunteers and things were clean again in no time. Joe motioned me over to a table. I went and sat, Joe joined me with another pony who'd volunteered.

"Sue, this is Blueblood. Blueblood, this is Sue Chef." Joe said by way of introduction.

Sue Chef was a cream colored mare with a deep red mane. Her eyes were a beautiful turquoise and she smiled wide and often. "As in Prince Blueblood?" She asked, her eyebrows up in surprise.

I took off my hat and shook out my mane. The effect was rather spoiled by how sweaty my mane was. "The same."

"Well, I never expected to meet royalty. It truly is a pleasure." She said brightly, extending a hoof.

After a moment's hesitation, I took her hoof and kissed it. She giggled. "Ooh, what a charmer!"

Oops, I hope she didn't think I was interested. Having mares interested in me tended not to work out well for me.

"Sue is going to run the shop for me while I'm away." Joe explained.

"Away?" I asked.

"Yeah, I have to go see the opening of a shop in Las Pegasus. It'll be right on the edge of The Strip, so it'll be a pretty grand opening." Joe said, smiling.

I swallowed my feelings and returned the smile. "Sounds like a lot of fun."

"Should be. Sue already knows about your arrangement, so Luna will still get her death-by-chocolates and other goodies." Joe said, as if to reassure me. I wasn't reassured at all. I barely knew Sue and already this wasn't going well.

An uncomfortable quiet fell over the table. We looked at each other, all seemingly incapable of coming up with a single thing to say. I stood up first. The other two followed. "I just need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back." I said, trotting swiftly to the stallion's room.

As I washed my face, Joe came in. "Everything alright? I'm sorry I sprang this on you. The builders surprised me, this building wasn't supposed to be ready this soon."

"I'm fine." I said stiffly, turning to the faucet to douse my face again.

"Blue, look at me." Joe said quietly. He stood beside me.

"What?" I asked, annoyed.

"Blue, I'm sorry." He repeated.

I rolled my eyes. "I know."

He shook his head. "No, I mean, I've got another thing to be sorry for. I'm going to tell you now, because you're already mad with me."

I sighed, annoyed that he would presume to know my feelings. "I'm not—wait what?"

"When you started working for me, I looked up your history. I heard a lot of rumors about you." He began.

"I would imagine so." I said, numbly.

He came clean. "Blue, I know about the orphanage."

"Oh." There wasn't anything else I could think of to say. What did he want?

He went on to explain. "Celestia kept it out of most news, but the Castle Times ran a short stub article about it in a weekday afternoon edition. I should've thought about how this all would make you feel. Looking you up, having you work for me, and even inviting you here. But I didn't. I'm sorry."

"Why?" I asked.

He sucked in a breath and then let it out. "Because I'm in love with you, Blue."

I stared blankly. That was not the answer I was expecting. Sure, this wasn't the first time anypony, mare or stallion, confessed their love for me. But they didn't know me like Joe did. "I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I just wanted you to know. Sue actually got me to stop mooning around, pardon the phrase."

"Add that to the list of things you told her before you told me." I said, pettily.

He winced. "I'm sorry."

"Maybe it's good we have some time apart. I need to think." I said, and exited the bathroom.

***

Sue turned out to be nice enough. Once she realized I knew what I was doing, she left me to my work and concentrated on the front and the ovens. When it came time to leave, I took a deep breath and centered myself.

I was not looking forward to this.

As the cab came to a stop in front of the castle, I steeled myself and took the donuts in my magic and hopped out. Nodding to the guard at the door, I entered the throne room and stopped to bow before Luna.

"We need to talk, Blue."

I gulped. "Right now, Your Roy--"

"Luna. Right now I am Luna. In court you can address me formally, but when it's just us, please just call me Luna."

"As you wish, Luna." I replied.

"Good. Blueblood, I must beg your forgiveness. I didn't know what I was pulling up when I triggered that memory. We could have just spoken." Luna said, her voice nearer than before.

I looked up to see her bowing to me. Civil really never prepared me to accept an apology from a ruler. "Uh, I'd rather not talk about it, Luna." I rubbed my neck and looked away. When I turned back, she caught my gaze.

"Are you still angry with me?" She asked quietly.

"Did you tell Celestia?" I asked in return. I readied myself for the inevitable confirmation. Of course Luna would have ---

"No." She replied.

"Are you serious?" I asked, surprised.

Luna shrugged. "Why would I lie to you?"

"Because it's what everypony does to get their way." I blurted without thinking. "What makes a princess any different?"

"A lie would only serve to hurt you. If nothing else, I wouldn't want to hurt you, Blue." She stated calmly. "If and when you decide to make peace with Celestia, I will pledge on my honor as a princess that I will have your side. Celestia may have learned much from her mistakes with her apprentices, but she has much to do to make amends with you."

Remembering the dream, I brought up another question. "You wanted to help me. Why?"

She looked at me curiously. "I suppose telling you that we're family would be insufficient for you. So, let me say that I was also trying to return a favor."

I frowned. "What favor?"

"You have started paying attention at court and even giving me help on some of the newer laws and protocols." She reminded me. "I thought if I could help smooth things out between you and Celestia, we would be happier. It looks like we have a long way to go, though."

"Assuming I want to get there at all." I said, irritably.

"True. I shall leave it up to you. It's your decision from now on." Luna said. She took a step forward and hesitated. "May I?"

I was confused. "May you what?"

Luna looked a little embarrassed. "May I hug you? I don't want to surprise you or force contact on you. And you've backed away from me before."

"Oh." I shifted on my hooves uncomfortably. "Well, yes, I guess."

She pulled me into a warm embrace. I wasn't sure what to do with my hooves. Besides the size difference, was there an etiquette to this? How long did a hug last? It felt nice, if a little odd, and certainly nothing like when Joe touched me. Not as great, but good.

I patted her back, careful to avoid her wings. "This is a little embarrassing." I admitted.

She squeezed me. "Nopony else is here; no reason to be embarrassed."

Fair point.

As she let go, I stepped back and coughed into a hoof politely. "Th-thank you, Luna. For the apology, the hug, and everything."

"Are you still concerned about being kicked out of the noble houses entirely?" Luna asked baldly.

I coughed again. "Um, I suppose I am."

She closed her eyes and opened them slowly, her expression falling. "Is there any way to reassure you?"

I shrugged. "Not that I can think of."

"I shall work on earning your trust, Blueblood. In time, I hope you'll see me in a better light." Luna sighed as she returned to the throne. I followed, sitting at my place beside her.

Before she could start court, I reached out to her hoof. "Luna, what do you do when somepony confesses their love to you?"

She whipped her head around at a speed that likely would have snapped the necks of lesser ponies. "Have you never had to deal with this before?"

I waved a hoof. "No, I have, but I don't want to drive the other pony away this time."

Her eyes narrowed, but her expression remained soft. "Do you not feel the same way?"

"I-I don't know. I asked for some time to think about it. Was that bad?" I asked, worried.

"If they are a true love, they will be patient." Luna began. "I would not keep them waiting for long, though. You must consider your own feelings and theirs as well. If you cannot find it in you to return their devotion, then you must let them know. It will be hard, especially if you care for them as a friend."

I removed my hoof from hers. "Thank you for the advice, Aunt Luna."

She turned back to face forward. "Thank you for trusting me to give it."

As the formality and ceremony of opening Night Court began, I had a lot on my mind. Did I care for Joe like he did for me? Would we be able to be just friends if I didn't? What if we got together but then broke up? Could we still be friends afterwards? I didn't have many true friends; I wasn't sure I could handle losing one now that I had one.

P.B. and ... Memories

Idly, I wondered when Joe would be back. He'd never given a specific time, so he could've been there at any moment. I took a tray of cinnamon rolls out of an oven and sighed. It reminded me of our time together. Setting the tray down, I covered my face in my hooves and groaned. Why had I insisted on waiting? I was bursting to tell him now!

"I'm home!" Joe practically sang as he walked in the front door. I ran out of the kitchen to see him. I'd wrap myself around that stallion and tell him everything he deserved to hear! I'd say...

There was a stallion standing beside Joe, leaning on him casually. Intimately, even. He was another unicorn; he was red with black legs and muzzle. His tail was black while his black mane had a shock of white. While Joe's eyes roamed around the shop, the mystery stallion's green eyes were fixated on Joe with complete devotion.

"Joe!" Sue Chef exclaimed happily. "Good to see you again! How was Las Pegasus?"

"Better than I could have imagined!" Joe replied, turning to touch noses with the stallion beside him.

"J-Joe?" The name escaped my throat before I could stop myself. "I-I thought..."

Joe looked at me with pity. "Halfway through the trip, I hit a pretty big low. I was sure you could never return my affections, so I gave up on you. I found the new love of my life, though and he's made me nothing but completely happy."

"I just needed some time, Joe." I protested weakly, my heart torn to shreds at the look the two shared.

"Blue, it's okay. You don't need to convince yourself that you love me if you don't." Joe said, patting my shoulder.

"N-no! That's not--" I began, but he shushed me.

"You'll find someone who can love you. And you'll love them, too. I just hope whoever it is can match your standards. Celestia knows I couldn't." Joe said with a smile.

"Joe, no, you, I..."

"Anyway, we have to go. Bye Blueblood." Joe announced suddenly. I blinked and noticed both of them dressed in white suits.

"Where are you going?" I asked, my heart in my throat.

"Why, to get married of course!" Joe laughed.

"Joe, you just met..."

"The love of my Life, remember? Why would I wait!" The pair laughed as they turned around and walked away.

It finally clicked. This had to be a dream. "Luna! Aunt Luna! Please!"

The shop melted away, to be replaced by a sea of stars. I floated in the night sky as a warm breeze fluttered past. "I am here, nephew. I'll admit, I wasn't sure that you would call on me."

Luna glided down through the endless heavens and took me in her hooves. I relaxed in her embrace; the racing in my heart from the heightened emotions slowed. I pulled away to speak to her.

"How much of that did you see?" I asked.

"Only the end, when you called me. Princess' Honor." She held up a forehoof and placed the other over her heart. "I did see two stallions leaving dressed in white. One looked surprisingly familiar."

I sighed. "Which one?"

She smiled. "Brown coat, darker brown mane, striking resemblance to a certain favored baker. You seemed most upset to see them go."

I buried my face in her shoulder.

"Isn't this a good thing?"

"How could it be?"

She snorted. "Finding a pony with whom you share affection is usually seen as a positive thing."

"But, this pony..." I drifted off.

"Helped you in the middle of the night. Stood up for you in my Court. Let you stay with him when you were down emotionally. Has taught you how to bake, which is his talent and passion." She pointed out helpfully.

"When you put it that way." I replied.

She smiled. "Makes one seem oblivious, does it not?"

"Thank you, Luna." I said, nearly exasperated.

"You're welcome." She said, likely intentionally ignoring the attitude behind my words.

I ran a hoof through my mane. "What do I do? He's my friend. What if things go wrong? I could lose--"

Luna placed a hoof on my shoulder. "You cannot bear to see him with another pony, correct?"

I fought with myself over the answer, but in the end there was really only one. "I can't. Call me envious."

"I shan't." She assured me. "Well, I shan't if you confess your love in return."

"It is love or just possessiveness?" I asked.

"Do you want to own him? Control him? Have him with you at all times?" Luna asked seriously.

I thought about it. "No."

She smiled. "Then, I would err on the side of love. Although, if you would like a more experienced opinion, I'm sure Princess Cadence would--"

"No!" I replied. Trying not to think of my experiences with the Princess of Love. The starry surroundings shifted subtly, as if the stars decided to fall slowly.

Luna looked around and spoke hurriedly. "Careful, nephew. I did not mean trigger a memory, and in this realm it is easy to fall back into one. Just don't think about whatever it is that's troubling you."

It was easy for her to say. I tried not to think about it, but the more I tried, the less effective it was. The stars spun out of control until a new setting built itself around us. Walls rose, decorations sprouted like leaves on a vine and a young white-coated blond pony appeared. Before Luna could react, we stood in the hall outside Celestia's quarters.

Right next to a younger version of myself.

"Civil's wrong. I need to talk to Celestia about this. It isn't right that everypony else knows what their talent is, but I don't!" Younger Blueblood said aloud to psyche himself up to the task of talking to Celestia.

"I'm sorry, nephew. I can leave, if you'd like." Luna said to me, turning to the hallway.

"Get back here!" I hissed. "Can't you stop..."

"Blueblood, what are you doing here?" A young Cadence asked.

Young Blueblood stiffened. "If you must know, I am here to speak to my Aunt."

"Our Aunt." She corrected. "The House of the Heart is nearly as old as they come."

Young Blueblood puffed out his chest. "I am a prince of the House of the Day, a much older house by far. You're just some lucky lesser noble who got to be the Princess' hoof-maiden."

"Prince Blueblood, you wouldn't know a hoof-maiden from a barfly." Cadence said. "And if you think your annoying little games are going to get to me..."

"My annoying games? You give me too much credit, you simple-minded maiden. This is how the aristocracy works. Wake up from your little romance novels and realize that you play them just like everypony else."

Her eyebrows shot up in indignation. "I do not!"

"How do you think you got to where you are? Wait, let me guess, 'because I'm a good pony.'" Young Blueblood made a face. He started circling the mare. "Like it has nothing to do with mommy and daddy talking up a storm about you every chance they get at Court. 'Oh, Cadence is such a sweet mare.' 'Oh, you wouldn't believe how sweet she is with the filly she foalsits!' You're benefiting from this game just as much, if not more, than I am."

Cadence shook her head. "And what good does anypony have to say about you?"

"Good, bad, what does it matter? All anypony cares about is what other ponies can do for you." Young Blueblood flicked his tail, idly sitting with his back to Celestia's door. "So why don't you ditch the sweeter-than-syrup nonsense and just be who you really are inside?"

"Blueblood." The young Blue cringed. Both ponies turned to face Princess Celestia. "Is that any way for a young gentlecolt to speak to a mare?"

Young Blueblood bowed deeply. "I'm sorry, Aunt Celestia..."

She shook her head. "Don't apologize to me, Blueblood."

The young Blue turned to face Cadence and bowed to hide his expression of disgust. "My apologies, Lady Cadence."

The scene froze. "Sorry, that took a little longer to work than usual. Strong memories aren't as easy to stop as a made-up dream."

I shook myself as the scene faded into mist. "Good night, Princess Luna." I turned to walk away, but couldn't seem to make any progress. Sighing, I turned back around.

Luna looked worried. "Blue, please don't shut me out. I know you didn't mean for it to happen, but we should discuss--"

I snapped. "How your sister has treated me since I came to Canterlot? How I was left in the care of a pony whose only thought was her own advancement? Or maybe we could talk about how well she treated, and continues to treat, Cadence and Twilight?"

Luna shook her head. "Celestia does not know how to handle family. She's never been good at it. Our own parents weren't..."

"I don't care! She had hundreds of years to get over that. I don't have that kind of time." I turned away angrily. "Why? Why did I ever convince myself that she loved me?"

"Blueblood, be careful..." Luna's voice trailed off as ponies materialized before us. Celestia sat, her hoof brushing aside the hair of a foal version of me to expose a black eye. A third pony, the orphanage director Mrs. Tender Care, stood anxiously with one hoof over her mouth.

I moaned. This was an early memory that I'd tried to forget. My parents died just a few months before this and I hadn't had time to grieve for them before I started grieving for myself. I thought things couldn't get worse until the princess visited our little run-down home. An older colt had knocked me down for trying to avoid him. Unlike usual, he'd made a mistake and hit me where the bruise would be most noticeable. My feeble attempt to cover it up hadn't worked.

“I beg your pardon, my princess, but Mrs. Care didn't know. I hid it from her.” The foal Blueblood said. My parents had been proper-minded ponies and taught me manners before they passed.

The princess regarded him seriously. “Is that so?” He nodded. “Why would you hide this?”

Foal Blue opened his mouth to answer, then snapped it closed.

She smiled. “Young colt, a princess is not used to repeating herself. Please answer my question. Why hide this?”

He shook his head. “If I hadn’t, I’d get asked all sorts of questions. Then somepony would get in trouble and that would only make him madder at me.”

Celestia nodded. “Him, eh? So it is another colt? Have you ever told Mrs. Care or another adult about the problem with this other foal?”

“No ma'am.” He answered plainly.

The princess turned to Mrs. Care. “Were you aware of any problems with other foals?”

Mrs. Care bowed and answered. “No, my princess. I’ve had foals take turns going bully but I’d thought they were all well in hoof.”

After a calculating look, Celestia nodded. “One of the goals of this tour is to assess the conditions the most vulnerable amongst us face. You have a lot of foals to worry about, Mrs. Care. I believe you are doing your best, just as I am certain more could be done to assist you and foals like…” She drifted off and looked back at the foal.

“I’m sorry, where are my manners? What is your name, young gentlecolt?” She asked him kindly.

The foal bowed. “If it pleases Your Highness, I, Blueblood, am at your service.”

“Blueblood?” Celestia asked.

The foal looked up. “Yes, my princess. My parents were Fresh Blood and Red Blood. They were doctors during…”

“During the outbreak.” Celestia finished quietly. She brightened, taking the foal's chin in her hoof. “I know a few healing spells. With your permission, Blueblood, I can see to that eye.”

Civil List stepped forward. “Highness, it is quite inappropriate—" Celestia silenced the pony with a look.

“If it pleases Your Highness, permission granted.” Her horn glowed, casting an aura of healing magic over the colt's black eye.

Her work done, she leaned in close. “It seems Equestria is indebted to you. I will make sure that debt is paid.” Her expression was inscrutable.

The scene changed again, Celestia stood tall over the younger version of me. The bloody nose and black eye put the earlier memory to shame. My foalhood bully, Dirt Claude, cowered as the rest of the orphanage and Mrs. Care looked on.

"Don't lay another hoof on him." It was her voice. I looked up to see Celestia bent over, one wing around me as a foal. "He is descended from a royal line of my own house thought to be gone for centuries. As such, he is a Prince and under my authority."

"Really?" The foal Blue asked in awe.

Celestia looked down on him kindly. "Really. The Blood family line is related to my own."

Through his black eye, foal Blue looked at her with hope. "So, you're like my mother? Or grandmother?"

"Let's go with aunt, shall we?" Celestia said, smiling.

"Yes, Auntie Celestia." The two faded as they walked away.

"Those memories were less clear." Luna remarked by my side. She was right, there wasn't much to them besides the ponies involved.

"I'd mostly forgotten. I've been trying to forget. It was easier not to remember a time when she was good to me." I said as I sat. "She saved me from a very bad situation. I may not practice it often, but I do have a sense of duty. I can never repay her; and I guess I stopped trying."

"There have been mistakes on both sides. Celestia needs to realize hers. Can I help you?" Luna asked.

I nodded. "I think it's time. I need to know more about myself anyway."

She looked at my mark and nodded. "I will help as much as I can with that as well."

P.B. and ... Storytime

"So, when is he supposed to be back?" I asked, trying to keep my tone even and casual. I don't think I was altogether successful, as Sue looked over at me with a knowing smile. I'd never gotten a straight answer out of her about how much she knew of the situation between Joe and I, but she seemed content to leave our business to us.

"Today. Maybe a few hours from now." She answered.

I panicked. Did I look okay? Why hadn't I thought to get a touch up on my hooves? Was my mane even in place?

"Couldn't have mentioned that earlier?" I whined.

She rolled her eyes. "You never asked. I figured you might be interested, but I'm a baker, not a mind-reader."

My eyes narrowed as I snorted. "I might have been a little quiet lately, but I thought I was being obvious."

She leaned on the counter with a playful smirk. "And believe you me, that has made the time go by like a dream. I thought the only thing you princely types ever sugared was your words, but to my surprise you actually seem competent enough for a junior baker."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" I asked, confused.

"Unless you think being a baker is insulting." She replied, arching her brows. "Now, I believe you have some work to do in the kitchen. We have a few orders and then you can get to work on Princess Luna's order. How does she manage to eat all those donuts without ruining her figure?"

"More ponies started showing up to Night Court. And I think the spell she uses for bringing out the night uses quite a lot of energy."

"Huh, guess that makes sense. Go ahead and make another dozen for her order. You know what she likes, so it's up to you."

***

The bell rang through the shop as the front door opened. Excited and nervous, I poked my head out to see if it was Joe. Sue sighed as she walked to the counter to help the customer. "It's not him, again."

I sighed frustratedly and went back into the kitchen. Rubbing my temples, I heard Sue apologize to the customer and take their order.

Get a grip, Blue! I yelled at myself internally. You're going to drive Sue nuts and then how will that look to Joe?

The bell rang out again and I was out by the counter before I could stop myself. Sue Chef didn't even look up this time. She sighed, flicked a page over on the magazine she had out in front of her and shook her head. "It's not him. Again. Should I even ask if the orders are done?"

"The orders are done, the dishes are clean, the kitchen is immaculate and set up for tomorrow, the old dough is portioned and in the fridge for you to take home, the inventory is checked and in order, the laundry service came by, the laundry was sorted and set up for tomorrow, and I feel a little light headed to be honest." I finished by sitting down where I stood. Hard.

Sue turned around to look at me with concern. "You overexerted yourself magically with all of that at once, didn't you?"

"Not all of it at once." I protested feebly.

She looked toward the ceiling, as if in supplication. "Unless I'm mistaken, running multiple spells is not your special talent. I'm surprised you're still conscious."

"Thank you, Sue." I deadpanned.

"Are you even thinking about what that would do to Joe? There's a nice welcome for him, to come back and see you passed out on the floor. It's not like you're Twilight Sparkle." She remarked, waving a hoof idly.

"Thank. You. Sue." I said through gritted teeth. Of all the things I was prepared to deal with today, being compared to Celestia's precious bookworm wasn't one of them.

"You're welcome." She sighed. "So, what is your special talent anyways?"

"You sure your talent isn't in idle gossip?" I lashed back.

She snorted, but smiled. "I'm just trying to make polite conversation."

"Well, politely go boil your head." I snapped, closing my eyes to keep the room from spinning. "Actually, don't. I just cleaned the deep-fryers and don't want to try pulling mane hairs out of them."

Sue snorted, although it seemed to be more out of laughter than frustration. "I'm going to ignore that because I know you don't mean it."

Turning away, the bell rang out again. I didn't even open my eyes. Suddenly, passing out on the floor didn't seem like such a bad idea.

"I'm back!" Joe declared in a sing-song voice. My eyes snapped open and I lunged up to my hooves, trotted around the counter and stopped just short of running into Joe. "Well, someone's happy to see me!"

"You have no idea." Sue remarked behind me. I decided to ignore her.

I fixed my eyes on the pony of my affections. "Joe! I have something to tell you and I hope you don't think I'm horrible--"

Joe cut me off. "Blue, it's okay. We come from a very different worlds and it was wrong of me to expect you to have feelings for me. We're good friends. I don't want to push you into something you don't want. You can't make yourself..."

I grabbed his muzzle and closed it with both hooves. "I don't want to hear that again." His eyebrows bunched together in confusion. "I mean, you've been really good to me and even if we're not from the same level socially, I can't ignore how good you are for me. You've made me the happiest I've been since--" My voice broke as my eyes grew misty. "Since my parents got sick."

Letting go of his muzzle, I wrapped my hooves around him. He embraced me in return. "Why would I think you're horrible?"

Sitting back to look him in the eyes, I answered. "Because I want you. And I don't want to lose you. I don't think I could stand going back...back to not having a friend like you. I've tried telling myself you weren't my friend. I've tried telling myself I couldn't be in love with you. I've tried telling myself that you'd hurt me or leave me. But you never have."

"I don’t think you're horrible." Joe said simply.

"That's all you have to say?" I asked, surprised. "Because I've got to say, that's not exactly a ringing endorsement."

"I really don't think you're horrible?" Joe offered, smirking. I narrowed my eyes, eliciting a laugh from Joe and another hug. "Oh come on, you made me wait a week. How could I not mess with you?"

I pushed against him feebly, but he didn't release me. "I don't know, I think it would be easy to be nice to somepony you love."

"Sugar and spice, Blue. You get both with me." Joe said, holding me at a forelimbs length. His wide grin warmed my heart and made my brain go fuzzy. He leaned in and I let out a soft, undignified squeak as Joe gave me the softest kiss I'd ever received from anypony. My limbs went weak and I returned his affection with unbridled enthusiasm.

Sue coughed politely and I was glad to see nopony else in the store. I blushed and turned away from Sue, but I must have done so quickly because the room spun violently.

When I came to, Joe's turned to me with a smile. In spite of his efforts, he still looked concerned about me. "You overdid it today, huh?" He asked.

I nodded. "Had a lot of nervous energy."

He let out a shaky breath that bordered on laughter. "I can only imagine. Well, and Sue's description of your behavior painted an adorable picture."

"Shut up, I'm not adorable." I complained.

He kissed the end of my nose and I blushed at his loving gaze. "Definitely adorable."

I covered my face with my hooves. "Hate you."

"Love you too." He replied, unfazed.

"I take it my nephew is awake?" Luna's voice called from the doorway. Joe turned so that Luna could inspect me herself. We were in Joe's office, which I'd only seen rarely. I'd have to remember to ask Joe about the cot I was on and why it was here. "It seems you have a tendency to fall unconscious around here more often than the average pony."

"Ugh, is everypony going to make fun of me today?" I tried getting up, but was stopped by Joe's hoof.

"Actually, it is night time now." Luna pointed out ever-so-helpfully.

I started, only to get pushed back down. "What about Night Court?"

"Cancelled it tonight to see where my top advisor was. There was only a hoof-full of non-emergency cases that I had to reschedule."

"I'm sorry I interrupted your normal duties, princess." I apologized.

Luna sighed. "Believe me, I needed the interruption." Turning to Joe, she asked, "So, what is your recommendation?"

Joe shrugged. "We could trade stories and eat donuts. I still have your order here and there's plenty to go around. Sue is around here too, maybe she'd like to join in."

"I'll go ask her, you see to my nephew's happiness." Luna arched a single brow knowingly, her command tinged with a bit of good-humored threatening.

***

"All right, cutie mark stories!" Sue Chef announced. "I'll start. My mother was sick at the time and dad was completely useless in the kitchen. So I woke up early one morning, broke out my mom's recipe cards and followed the instructions. When I served it to my parent's in bed, voila! Cutie mark." She turned to show her mark, a patterned china plate with a fork sticking out of a pile of noodles and white sauce.

Nudging Joe, the stallion blushed briefly and showed off his pink-iced donut cutie mark. "Not much to mine really. Made donuts for a bake sale for school. Bam! Cutie mark."

His eyes turned to Princess Luna. "What about you, princess?"

Sue clapped her hooves together excitedly. "Oh yes, please tell us!"

Luna smiled and shook her head. "'Tis an old and frankly boring story." She demurred, waving a hoof.

"Oh, please, princess!" Sue looked about ready to burst, her lower lip quivering and her eyes as big as dinner plates.

Luna looked at Sue and snorted in amusement. "Fine, put away those vast pools! A diamond dog puppy would look less longingly at a ruby!"

Her horn lit to show a scene above her head as she narrated. "A long time ago, before the founding of Equestria, our world and the cosmos around it were kept in motion by their own natures. Sun and moon rose and fell of their own accord and time largely passed in natural harmony." An image of the world spinning slowly, encircling a bright sun and encircled by a soft white moon appeared.

"Then everything changed when Discord came to power. His chaos broke the forces of nature." The scene became a helter-skelter of clashing colors and mind-boggling impossibilities made real. Ordinary objects took on lives of their own, strange patterns wove themselves around houses and ponies were caught in bout of unpredictable weather and strange phenomena.

"My sister and I were young unicorns born to the strongest pair out of the two strongest and oldest houses of unicorn nobility. Our parents produced us before Discord's reign. Our houses kept much of the chaos from our land, but this time was running out." The sisters as young fillies appeared, in a city protected by strong shields held together by light and dark colored unicorns.

"As Discord's chaos destabilized Equestria, Celestia and I found ourselves under increasing pressure to obtain our marks and take the elements of the tree of harmony to restore order. The strain was incredible for two fillies." She glanced at me briefly. "Celestia earned hers first by developing a spell to raise the sun at her command. She helped me to develop a similar spell for the moon and I earned mine. We became the first alicorns in centuries." First Celestia, then Luna were engulfed in brilliant light and sprouted wings. Their manes became the flowing night sky and brilliant rainbow hues that they were today.

"Before us, they were thought of as creatures of myth and legend, even finding their way onto the Equestrian flag long before my sister and I attained such power." The scene changed to show the sister united against Discord. "And, well, the rest is history. With our deep loving connection we were able to wield the Elements of Harmony and banish Discord, establishing our rule by consent of the three tribes and lived in peace. Most of the time, anyway. There were other battles, but those are stories for another time."

As we sat in reverent silence, I finally pried my eyes away from Luna to gauge my companions' response. Their eyes, however, had fixated on me. I drew in a breath slowly and prepared myself for the one question I hated.

Of course, Sue spoke up first. "Alright, Blueblood."

"How could I possibly follow that?" I asked, avoiding the direct gaze of the three ponies before me. "I'm just a prince. Celestia rediscovered a branch of her house which led down to my parents and me."

"Perhaps it is best to leave this for another time. The hour is nearing for ponies to be in bed." Luna announced to my great relief.

Sue sighed, looking at the clock. "Wow, you're right. I didn't realize it was so late!"

The three got up. I tried to follow, but Joe pushed me back down again. "Princess, I will make sure the prince here gets a good night sleep at my place, if you don't mind."

"Of course, Joe. Have a good night, Blueblood!" Luna called as she made her exit.

I sighed, resigning myself to Joe's scrutinous look. It seemed my newly minted coltfriend wasn't about to let this story go.

P.B. and ... Relationships

"What's the deal with your cutie mark?" Joe asked baldly as I sat on his bed at home. His home, I mean.

I looked away. "Joe, it's just not something I'm comfortable talking about."

"Not even with me?" He asked.

"Especially with you." I replied angrily. I bit my lower lip and looked away. "It's embarrassing."

"You're a prince. It can't be that bad." Joe pressed on.

I heaved a heavy sigh. "Fine. I guess if I can't trust you with it than I'll never be able to fix the problem."

Joe sat next to me and wrapped a forelimb around me. "I wasn't raised by Princess Celestia. Technically, yes, she's my aunt and was my guardian, as well as my Head of House. But I was left mostly in the care of my tutor, Civil List. Civil was one of Celestia's advisors who specialized in etiquette and heraldry. She could name you every noble, guild master, and major business owner in the country. I guess Celestia didn't feel up to the task of raising me herself and she had to run the country."

"Civil...wasn't a nice pony. She'd spent years climbing the social ladder to become an advisor to the princess. So she resented being demoted to nursemaid, even to Celestia's nephew. I didn't understand much of this when I first arrived in Canterlot, but I've learned a lot since then."

"Civil hates traveling. She gets really bad motion sickness in even the slowest of pony-drawn carriages. So for years I was stuck in the castle, only allowed to go out in the city rarely for this event or another. Civil kept me on a short leash for quite some time. On the second birthday I had in Canterlot, I'd begged Civil to let me go out in the city and see some sights I'd heard other foals talk about. Civ was in a rare good mood and allowed me to go with some of my aunt's guards. They were under the princess' orders to keep me in line but also let me have a good time and I got away with a lot more than I ever would've admitted at the time. The day was cold, so I'd had a cloak on the entire time and that was the one rule I'm sure I followed even away from Civil."

"It wasn't until we got back that I took the cloak off and realized I'd gotten my mark." I turned to look at my flank. A gold four pointed star overlaid on a silver four pointed star.

"A compass rose?" Joe guessed.

"You know how bad I am with finding my direction." I pointed out.

Joe's head snapped back. "You'd never been out of the castle? For almost two years?"

"Congratulations, Joe, you're catching up. Still a little behind." I remarked drily.

"How many places did you go to for your birthday?" Joe asked.

"I don't know." I said, bewildered.

Joe twisted his mouth, then spoke. "It's important. Where did you go?"

I looked down, scouring my brain. "Uh, let me think. These are all out of order, mind you, but hmm. The Canterlot Zoo. An ice-cream shop. A bakery. The Canterlot National Museum..."

"You went to a museum for your birthday?" Joe asked, eyebrows raised.

I shrugged. "It was different. Sorta. The castle is a little like a museum, but I want to go see one because I hadn't been to one as far as I could remember. Then there was a festival in the Prench Quarter where I nearly slipped my guards and joined the parade. A restaurant for lunch. We toured some old mines in Alicorn Mountain and then we went ice skating."

"You really did get around to a lot that day." Joe remarked.

I smiled. "Yeah. It was the most fun I'd had since I moved to Canterlot." My smile faltered. "Until I got home and realized that I didn't know what I'd gotten my cutie mark in. We pretty much ruled out every activity I did that day. None of them matched my mark."

"Princess Celestia must have noticed something, at least?" Joe prompted.

"Civil told her that I got it for planning out my trip. Which I didn't. It was very spur of the moment and my guards weren't exactly thrilled to find themselves subject to the whims of a colt. Although I do remember one was a very good sport about the whole thing. What was her name?" I thought for a moment. "Ah! Macha Method. Apparently, she'd had foals of her own, so she was used to dealing with excited little balls of energy."

"Odd name." Joe remarked.

I shrugged. "Old name. I think it was Sireish. She had a slight accent, at any rate. Method retired not too long after."

I sighed again. "Well. Now you know."

Joe nodded. "I can see why you didn't want to talk about it. Does Luna know then?"

I nodded. "She accidentally triggered a memory in a dream I had."

"Oh, so she doesn't know." He said, crossing his forelimbs.

"No, she does." I replied.

"Does not. You just said it was in a dream of yours." Joe pointed out.

"You’re being a bit thick." I observed.

He snorted. "You're being a lot obtuse. What, did you tell her about this dream?"

I shook my head again. "No, the real Luna. She's the princess of the night, remember? Do you think her powers are limited to raising the moon?"

Joe tapped his chin. "I suppose. But that's a bit...strange."

I nodded. "I certainly thought so at first. She says she wants to help me."

"Help you do what?" Joe asked.

I sighed, turning to look at him sidelong. "Mend my relationship with Celestia."

Joe raised his brows again. "What relationship with Celestia? I thought she didn't raise you."

I put my head in my hooves. "I looked up to her. Idolized her. Even in spite of everything, every punishment, every time she couldn't make time for me, every time one of her other students took up her schedule, even after kicking me out of my own house, I love her. Damn it." My eyes misted over. "She saw a young colt in need and stepped in to make my life better and I can't even..." I trailed off, choking back a sob.

Joe wrapped his limbs around me. "Can't what, Blue?"

I pushed him back to look him in the eye. "I can't get anything right. My best guess was that my mark was a compass rose, so I was apprenticed to the Royal Cartographer to learn geography. I was young and stupid. I couldn't concentrate on maps. Hearing about interesting places from some other pony bored me. Instead, I started appreciating the topography of the Cartographer's daughter."

I shook my head, averting my gaze from Joe. It was probably not a great idea to talk about an ex in front of my current special somepony, but this was important. "When I broke things off to try to concentrate on my work so I could make my aunt proud of me...Four Points, that's her name, she took it badly. We'd fooled around and she got it in her head that I was more interested than I really was. She complained to her father who complained to Celestia. When I refused to apologize, Celestia did so on my behalf and my apprenticeship was canceled."

Joe nodded slowly, taking in the details. "And then?"

I wiped my eyes and continued. "It was one pattern of failure after another. I didn't learn from my mistakes right away so I earned a reputation. In time, it got easier just to be the pony everypony thought I was anyway. I felt powerful, as stupid as that sounds. Even with my reputation, ponies wanted to curry favor with me to get to the princess. I used them and threw them away. It wasn't worth explaining to them that associating with me would do them no favors with Celestia."

I looked into his eyes shamefully. "Do you think I'm horrible now?"

Joe let out a shaky breath. "Of course not. Do you think I'm the type to take horrible ponies home?"

I frowned. "But everything I've done...the ponies I used..."

Joe pushed a strand of my mane out of my face. "Do you want to keep doing that? Using ponies?"

"No, but..." I began, but he quieted me.

He shook his head. "No, Blueblood. No buts. We aren't defined by the mistakes we make but by the lessons we learn from them."

"Wish everypony saw it that way." I muttered.

Joe smiled. "Anypony who matters, will."

I reached out to him, pulling him close. "Right now, you're the only pony that matters."

He laughed. "Oh? Not still pining after Four Points? No secret flame still ablaze for a mare long out of reach?"

"I'll have you know that most ponies, mare or stallion, harbor more feelings for me than I do for them." I stopped, realizing what I just said. "Wow, that didn't make me sound good."

Joe rolled his eyes. "Focus, Blue. So, you've been with mares and stallions before."

"I am the prince of pleasure." I said.

"So you think." He challenged.

I quirked an eyebrow. "Oh? Is there another contender for my crown?"

Joe nodded, with a smile. "You're looking at him; I'm a stud."

I laughed and placed a hoof on his chest. It was surprisingly firm. Maybe this baker had something up his sleeves after all. "I'll be the judge of who the stud is."

***

"You're the stud." I admitted, stretched out lazily in his bed the next morning.

"You're pretty studly yourself." Joe muttered sleepily, his forelimb over my chest.

I struggled to between protesting further or feeding my ego. Unaccustomed to making allowances for other ponies, my ego won out. Turning towards him, I used his forelimb to tug him close enough to kiss. My tongue roamed around and over his before I broke away to trail kisses down his jawline. He moaned before he could stop himself, dissolving into most unstallion-like giggles as I worked my way down his neck.

"You weren't this ticklish last night." Not like his ticklishness would stop me right now. I kept up the act as he started to laugh more deeply.

"I had...other things on my mind." He explained as he squirmed.

"Shouldn't you be up?" I asked through a happy haze.

Joe laughed softly in my ear. "I don't think I can get up again."

I turned and blew up his nostril. Joe turned away to sneeze. "Not what I meant. Don't you have a business to run?"

Joe rolled over, stealing the blanket. "That's why I have Sue. Besides, it's the weekend."

I rubbed a hoof down his spine in spiraling circles. Joe half turned back to face me and I marveled at the flexibility of this baker, not for the first time. "You make it very hard to pay you back, you know."

He shifted back to face me fully. Propping his head up on one forelimb, he set his other front hoof on my shoulder. "Maybe you're a little too focused on paying ponies back."

"I have to." I said.

Joe took a slow breath and let it out through his nose. His hoof drifted up from my shoulder to my cheek. "Love isn't a game you have to win. Nopony is keeping score of who does what for somepony else. Not if there is real love between them. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to take care of somepony you love, but thinking of love like it's some sort of debt isn't doing you any favors."

His words stung, but made sense. I sat up slowly and ran a hoof through my disheveled mane. "What do you want for breakfast?"

He rolled his eyes. "You don't have to..."

"I'm making breakfast." I asserted.

Joe lifted his other hoof in front of him. "Okay. How about fresh fruit and some yogurt?"

I snorted. "I can cook."

He simply smiled his usual scruffy smile. "Okay. Pancakes work too."

"All right. Show me how to make pancakes." I ordered.

He flopped back dramatically. "I thought you said you could cook!" He protested.

"I can. Just could use the company."

"Fine, but I'm taking a shower first." He said as he rose to his hooves.

"Sounds good, I'll join you." I said cheerfully.

He groaned. "You're going to be the death of me."

"You know you love my youthful energy."

"You're not that much younger than me!"

"Apparently I am." I teased.

He stopped in front of the bathroom door. "Fine. You only get to join me if I get to call you daddy."

I snorted derisively. "If anypony's getting called daddy, it's you, Mr. Business Owner."

He shrugged. "You're right. Which means I'll just have to call you Master, or My Liege, Mr. Royal Prince."

"You're a royal pain." I said, stepping up to get close to him. I looked down and then back up at him. "You don't regret getting intimate with me--"

"Tartarus no." He protested.

I smiled. "Let me finish! You don't regret getting intimate with me so soon in our relationship?"

He regarded me seriously. "Let me repeat myself; tartarus no! We're both adults, neither of us want to play games or test each other's commitment. I trust you. And I hope you won't get cold hooves about us being together like we are."

I caressed the side of his face with one hoof. "How can anypony get cold hooves with a stallion like you to keep them warm?"

"Sweet talker." He said accusingly, before leaning in to kiss me.

P.B. and ... Chaos

Yeah.

No, really it made a lot of sense. I mean, why wouldn't he decide to make a visit to Canterlot? Some of his favorite ponies to torment were there. He'd appeared to needle my aunt during Day Court a few times. By and large, I'd avoided attracting his attention.

It was roughly a week after I started dating Joe. Joe and I were working our flanks off at the kitchen to fill an order for a wedding. Donut Joe's didn't do a lot of weddings usually, but this was for a regular, well-paying customer. I'd just pulled the last tray of cinnamon rolls out of the oven when it happened. In a puff of alarmingly green smoke and to the sound of a choir of distressed-sounding ducks, the master of Chaos himself appeared.

Discord.

Joe's turned around to take in the strange, bewildering assortment of limbs and extremities that made up Discord's form. From his odd mismatched bicorn horns to the tip of his asymmetrical hooves, the master of chaos and once ancient foe of the royal unicorn houses surveyed his unwilling audience.

"Unwilling! I'll have you know that most beings of all shapes and sizes are quite eager to see me appear!" Discord said, pouting as he crossed his incongruous forelimbs.

"Stay out of my head, you ill-assorted grab-bag of unpleasantness." I retorted.

Discord lifted his snout indignantly. "I was reading the narration. If I were to read your mind, Prince Bluecrud, I'm certain there wouldn't be more than a single lonely cricket chirping mournfully."

"Please don't turn him into anything unpleasant, Mr. Discord, someponies just don't appreciate a work of art." Joe said, stepping between me and Discord. I tried to shove his rump aside, but he remained firm.

"Firm indeed, and might I say I am surprised to see a unicorn with such finely toned glutes." Discord said, having suddenly appeared between me and Joe, his paw and claw grabbing either side of Joe's flanks.

"Um, thank you?" Joe said uncomfortably.

"Kindly release his flanks before I buck you into next week." I threatened.

Discord turned to me gleefully. "Well! This is an unexpected twist. I do believe someprince has developed, dare I say it? FEELINGS!"

I pressed my mouth into a thin line and narrowed my eyes. "I've always had feelings, you foal's fever-dream made real."

"Oh, true enough! Allow me to clarify then. You have feelings, positive ones no less, for another pony!" Discord said, clapping his paw and claw together excitedly. "A baker and a prince! Now that's an uncommon pair. Someponies would even say unlikely! It’s almost as if a writer came up with the idea as a joke based on a popular sandwich."

"You make about as much sense as you ever do, Discord." I said, rolling my eyes. "What do you want?"

"As it just so happens, your little crème puff already knows what I want, don't you Joe?" Discord said mischievously.

Joe's face went blank. "Discord, we just got through with a big order, you couldn't possibly..."

"Ah, ah-ah! I'm a loyal customer. Why, I've never even set paw in a Stallbucks or Buckin' Bearclaws since I began patronizing your chain of fine donut delicatessens. Is this any way to treat a long-time customer?" Discord asked as his eyes grew wide and puppy-like.

Joe caved. "Okay, put away the puppy dog eyes. I swear, you're worse than Blue is."

"Don't compare me to this gaudy garrulous greedy-guts." I said, then touched my lips. That wasn't the insult I'd intended at all. "Discord's a disastrous, dangerous and dastardly demon." My gaze locked onto Discord's yellow and red eyes.

"What worrying wizardry wriggles through my much-maladied mind? Some spell, substantial and subversive, for sure!" I stomped a hoof in irritation.

Discord popped up at my side, dressed as a doctor with a thermometer suddenly jammed into my mouth. The red line sprang forward and burst out the end of the temperature taker with explosive force. Discord extracted the smoking remains and inspected it closely. "Alliteritis, I'm afraid."

"All an agregious act against an aristocrat!" I fumed.

Discord walked away, shaking his head. "I do believe it's getting worse."

Joe poked my side. "Just apologize and let's get to giving the guy what he wants."

"Verify this vociferous villainy? No, nay, never! Understand the unethical, unscrupulous, unprincipled undertakings of this undoubtedly underhoofed, ugly underminer." Joe only raised his eyebrows.

"You're starting to turn the writer into a liar, you know. This much alliteration in a story can only go so far as a joke." Discord said idly, floating on a fluffy plaid cloud and sipping a glass. As in, literally drinking the glass away from underneath the drink it held while said drink remained in place.

Joe gestured encouragingly.

I sighed, defeated. "All apologies, alright? I'll be nice until and unless you do something to warrant it. Fair enough?" I asked, extending a hoof. With relief, I realized I could speak in normal sentences again.

In a flash, Discord was in front of me dressed in a black and purple gown with a crow perched on his shoulder. "I believe you'll find that I'm the fairest in the land. Just ask any magic mirror." He said, taking my hoof in his claw. Instead of shaking the hoof, the rest of me began vibrating erratically.

Back to 'normal' Discord turned to face Joe. "Even with your unicorn magic, I do understand the time, effort and artistry that goes into making my order extra special. You have two hours before I return. Make wise use of your time, don't let anyprince distract you now."

With a wink, he disappeared into thin air.

I looked over at Joe intently. He rolled his eyes and let out a short sigh.

"Well, I should explain by saying I didn't know who placed the order the first time I made it. The order just appeared, with more than enough bits to cover it. Don't ask me where he got the bits." Joe began.

"Essentially, it's three large donuts, about the size of a regular cake. The special instructions I got with it were to use flavors I've never used before. When I first filled the order I used mint, cheese and asparagus." I must have looked horrified, because Joe shrugged. "It's more about playing around with odd flavors. Discord can eat just about anything, as far as I can tell. Of course, he still has a sense of taste and some of the flavors I've made for him have found their way to the case out front."

I tried not to think about asparagus. "So, what are you thinking of doing this time? I assume he'd be rather put out if you did the same thing again."

"I've never tried putting the same thing in front of him twice. I'd rather not." Joe explained as he levitated three large donut molds and set them on the table. "I think we'll have just enough basic ingredients, if I pull out some of that yeast dough as well."

I set my hooves on the counter, drumming them idly. "That's the easy part. What have you got as far as flavor ideas?"

Joe turned his head towards me and listed off his previous forays into chaotic donuts. "Well, this is the fifth time he's made this order, so mint, cheese, asparagus, sea-salt and peppercorns, saltwater taffy, candied yams, grape juice, algae, seaweed, tea leaf, beet, and onion."

I had to keep a hoof on my mouth before my lunch could reverse direction on me. Taking a few deep breaths, I decided to clue him in on my opinion. "Ew."

"I'd say about a third of them became popular enough to keep making. I'll let you guess which ones." Joe teased.

"I could just go out and look at your selection at the counter." I said.

"Where's the fun in that?" He asked.

I sighed. "Are you going to get down to business here or what? I'm sure we've wasted enough time already."

"Oh, I've already got my ideas, I just had to groan a bit about it. Makes for good baking if you complain. That's a big part of why I love your cinnamon rolls so much." Joe snuck a kiss to my neck before I could act on a sudden urge to punch him. "I need you to go get taro root, rock candy, and poison joke."

"What?" I asked, incredulous. "You've got to be kidding."

"Hm? No, I was talking to Sue." Joe explained. I turned around to see Sue standing behind me.

"Another Discord order?" Sue asked drily.

"Eeyup." Joe and I said simultaneously.

Sue looked at both of us before sighing. "You two need to spend less time together. Okay, I'm headed out. Shop's been pretty dead for the last hour or so anyway."

We got to work. The ovens were shut off after our last batch, so Joe restarted them. Meanwhile, I started laying out ingredients and utensils so that they'd be close at hoof. As soon as Sue got back, we'd get right to mixing and baking Discord's order. Until then, there wasn't much to do.

Well, there wasn't much to do work-wise. I sidled up alongside Joe as he checked things over. Nuzzling up against his neck, I planted a kiss on his jaw. "What do we do now, boss?"

"Come on, let's go out front and wait for Sue. I can show you a few things about our customer's expectations." Joe said cheerily.

I gazed upwards, put out by Joe completely missing what I thought were obvious signals. He was out front before I could pull him back and make him notice me. Head held high, I sauntered nonchalantly out to the counter. "So, what did you want to show me?"

With his magic Joe wheeled a mop and bucket over to me. "I think I've seen one of these before." I observed.

Joe laughed. "Yeah, I'd hope so. Ever used one?"

I shook my head. "Prince, remember? And the orphanage had a cleaning service. And I was too young to clean for my parents."

"Well, now's as good a time as any to pick up this important skill. Customer's expectation number one is a clean place. And we start from the floor up." Joe said with a smile.

"I take it you're expecting me to mop the floor?" I asked, disappointed with how our free time was turning out.

"Don't tell me you're too good to put in some clean, honest work." Joe said reproachfully.

Sighing, I gave up. I pulled the mop and bucket behind me as I walked around the counter. On the way, I flicked my tail at Joe. "I'll show you who's too good. Too good at mopping floors!"

"That's the spirit!" Joe said, poor, oblivious, over-worked stallion that he was.

When Sue came back, I'd just finished with the floor. Having splashed myself one time too many, I was glad to be a unicorn but magically exhausted. Sue hurried to the back to give Joe his special ingredients and that's when I noticed it. She'd tracked in a good deal of mud. Frustrated, I heaved myself back to my hooves with a moan and ignited my horn.

I felt a claw wrap around my horn and I opened my mouth to shout in surprise. A paw cut me off before I could do it. Discord had me in his grasp, I realized with a shiver of fear. "Shh, sorry to surprise you but I had to stop you before you wasted any more effort on cleaning."

With an indignant noise, muffled slightly by the chaotic creature's paw, I tried pulling away. Holding fast to my horn, Discord laughed. "Now, hear me out, my little pony. I'll let you go if you promise not to alert anypony here to my presence. Agreed?" Reluctantly, I nodded. There wasn't much I wouldn't agree to if it meant Discord letting go of my horn. Keeping his end of the bargain, he released me and I stepped back, feeling my horn to make sure it was still there.

With a snap of his claws, the mud on the floor disappeared. "There, just to show you a sign of good faith. I hoped to talk to you about a little rumor going around the castle."

"Since when have you ever been involved with castle rumors? I thought idle gossip was beneath you." I said, satisfied that my horn was okay. I'd have to check a mirror to see if it was the proper color or not, but that could wait for now.

"Oh, usually you're quite right. There are so many things beneath me, you know." Discord said as he hovered in midair. He lounged on his side as if on an invisible couch while miniature ponies pranced in a circle below him. One of them bore a rather striking resemblance to Hoity Toity.

"So what's so special about this rumor?" I asked.

"Ah, it's not a 'what' but a 'who.' As in, who's seeing who." Discord said, his 'who's' coming out like an owl's call.

As the significance of his words hit me, my heart skipped a beat. Sure nopony could've found out about me and...

"A little birdie told me that there are two stallions who seem to be very much in love with each other. That birdie was quite surprised. I find it a little hard to believe, especially given your talent for insulting mares."

"Yes, and you insult reason and good sense. What has that got to do with anything?" I asked hotly.

Discord tsked. "Now, now, keep your words soft and sweet. There's no reason for either of us to lose our tempers. Besides, I'm doing you quite the favor here."

"I fail to see..." Suddenly I was blind.

"Yes, I'm sure you do." Discord said. "So let me shine some light on you."

With a snap, my vision was back and Discord literally held a light to my face, the rest of the room shrouded in shadows. "You are dating Pony Joe."

P.B. and ... Rumors

"I don't know what you're talking about. Teasing me earlier is one thing, but to suggest that I..." The words died in my throat. I just couldn't find it in me to say that Joe and I weren't dating, even in front of Discord. That was strange, lying was second-nature.

"I'm actually not here to give you a hard time about it." I was almost touched by the sentiment, but then he kept talking. "There are plenty of other ponies who would make your life hard if they knew this for a fact."

Inhaling through my nostrils, I looked Discord in the eye. "Who else knows?"

Discord cleaned his claws idly. "Besides you and me, nopony knows, but there are those who suspect. I've heard about longing stares across the Night Court and how close you two walk together. Not to mention that you aren't making a mess out of the situation. Did you know there was actually a betting pool to see how long you'd last as a baker? And another one to see how long it would take before Luna banished you? You've outlasted even the most optimistic predictions, by the way."

I turned away. "I suppose you want some form of bribe to keep you quiet?"

Discord clapped his claws together. "Oh! Are we intent on not telling anypony? Now that is an interesting development."

I glanced at him and turned away again. "I just don't know how ponies will react. If it could hurt him or his business to be associated with me..."

Discord sighed. "This may shock you, but I want to help you."

I just barely managed to not snort in his face. "Whatever you're selling, I'm not buying it."

Discord rolled his eyes. "Well, if we're being obnoxiously honest, I'm doing it to see how Celestia will react when it inevitably comes out. And believe me, in a city like Canterlot, a secret always comes out."

The lights went back up, and Discord was gone. In his place stood a very confused-looking Joe. "Where did Discord go? We finished his order."

The being in question strolled out of the kitchen. Dabbing his mouth with a napkin, Discord looked at us and belched. A stream of blue smoke issued forth, twisting into animal shapes that danced around until they dissipated. "Poison joke is definitely one of my favorite flavors. Wouldn't use it on ponies, though. You might also want to get help that understands safe and proper handling of dangerous ingredients."

Joe went rigid beside me. "What happened to Sue?"

In response, Discord merely laughed and waved goodbye. Before either of us could press him to answer, Discord vanished in a puff of blue smoke.

We looked at each other before rushing to the back. Sue faced away from us. "Sue, are you okay?"

The mare sighed. "Discord distracted me while I explained the donut cakes we made. I tried not telling him what the last one was, which made him curious. He knocked over the bowl with the leftover concentrated poison joke in it and I grabbed at it foolishly." She sighed again. "Whatever you do, don't laugh."

She turned around. And on her face was the biggest, shaggiest mustache and beard I'd seen since a painting of Starswirl in the castle library.

***

"I can't believe she cashed in her vacation days just to sit at home and stroke her beard." I said, dabbing myself with a kerchief to combat the perspiration.

Joe stared at me. "You wouldn't stop laughing at her."

"I said sorry." I said with a shrug.

Shaking his head, Joe responded. "Yeah, and you were still laughing while trying to apologize."

"I'll make it up to her. Does she like cinnamon rolls?" I asked.

Slamming the oven door, Joe set the tray of donuts down with a clatter. "Are we going to talk about what Discord said to you?"

I cringed, flattening my ears against my head. "You're mad."

"I guess you could say that." Joe said, balling up his apron and tossing it carelessly onto the counter. "Do you think I wasn't aware of what could happen? From the start I volunteered myself, you know."

"I know." I said, looking down at the floor.

Joe continued. "Besides, I think you're slightly overestimating the negative reaction. Not everypony wants to see you fail."

I looked back up, glaring intently. "I fail anyway, Joe. It's what I've done with everything so far. Why should this be any different?"

Taking a step closer, Joe's expression softened. "Unlike those other times, this time you have me." Joe said, pointing at himself with a hoof.

I replied blandly. "My cup runneth over."

Oblivious, likely by design, Joe threw a hoof around my shoulders and hugged me sidelong. "That's the spirit."

"I'm not ready to have anypony at either court know...about us. I'm sorry, Joe I--" He squeezed me close.

"Well, I'm not going to pretend I understand." Joe said with a sigh. "I don't see why we should hide this."

"Just for now, okay?" I pleaded.

He kissed my forehead. "If it makes you feel better. So, I should cool it around you in public for a while, eh?" To punctuate his statement, he trailed a series of kisses along my neck and jaw.

"They do say that a bit of restraint in public makes the private moments more...special." I said, recalling one of my etiquette lessons.

He moved away swiftly, leaving me a little off-balance and feeling a bit bereft. As I recovered, Joe finished up around the kitchen. "Then let's get a cab and have some special private time."

I couldn't help but smile. "That sounds good. Really good."

Spending the night over at Joe's was increasingly comforting. With the help of his gardener, Joe grew much of his own produce. His linens had the benefit of getting washed in fresh lavender and throughout the house the smell of cinnamon dominated.

For a change, I woke up before Joe, still wrapped in his hooves. Smiling contently, I watched the rise and fall of his barrel. No doubt, I could've stayed like that for hours. Unfortunately, the universe had other plans.

Celestia's phoenix, Philomena, soared through the open window and landed on Joe's bedroom desk with all the subtlety of a fireball. Releasing a letter in her claw, the bird looked at me and mantled, unleashing a piercing cry. As I flinched, Philomena hopped back to the window-sill and disappeared as quickly as she'd arrived.

"Wuhwuzzat?" Joe slurred sleepily, belatedly lifting his head to cast an owlish look around for the source of the trouble.

Sighing, I disentangled myself and crossed to look at the letter. "It was just my aunt's ornery old bird. She brought me a letter...from Luna? Huh, Luna must've sweet-talked Celestia into loaning her Philomena's services. That firebird has a nasty habit of burning things before she delivers them."

Yawning, Joe stretched lazily. Patting the bed next to him, he gave me a look. "You coming back to bed or am I going to have to get you myself?"

I snorted, opening the letter. "Hold your horses. Just let me see what Luna wa--" I trailed off as I recognized the formatting. Glancing over it, I realized it wasn't for me.

Snorting, I brought the letter over to Joe. "My silly Aunt Luna is formally inviting you to dinner tonight. It'll be just us, so wear something nice, but comfortable."

Joe looked over the letter and smiled. "I'll try not to embarrass you."

I stuck my nose in the air. "See that you don't" The haughty effect was somewhat ruined by my lips curling upwards at the edges.

"Oh? And if I were to show up covered in powdered sugar wearing nothing but a gaudy polka-dot bowtie, what would you do?" Joe teased, nipping at my neck with his lips.

"You are entirely too horny." I observed, trying to play it off like his lips had no effect. It wasn't working well, he seemed to remember exactly which spots on my neck were most sensitive.

"Can't help it, I'm a uni-" I shoved a pillow over his face to muffle the rest of that old worn-out joke.

"You're a filthy pony, Joe. I need to take a shower and wash out your corruption!" I said, sauntering towards his bathroom with a swish of my tail.

***

Dining with Princess Luna was different than sharing a table with Celestia and other members of her House. For one, Luna had no ladies in waiting. Her seneschal, Moondancer, reminded me rather all too much of Celestia's pet bookworm, Twilight. At least Moondancer made up for her looks by mostly keeping her focus on maintaining Luna's schedule.

The four of us sat at in Luna's private dining room, complete with House of Night antique table settings. Princess Luna's maitre'd, Silver Service, began with Moondancer, seated to Luna's right hoof, then Joe, me and finally the princess. The silver-haired professional servant navigated the service admirably, especially considering his earth pony status. This type of service usually required a unicorn's steady magic as the server plated each dish on the plate from the left side of each diner. I recognized the tradition from the etiquette lessons drilled into me by Civil List. With how much of his life he'd spent in restaurants, I wondered if Joe had ever seen a formal service like this.

Turning to see how he took the unexpected courtesy, I was greeted with his lovably goofy smile. As the Princess began on her own food, we all followed suit. The glow of our magic bounced off of the multitude of gleaming silver surfaces, brightening the dark colored room with a curious effect.

"I'll not beat around the bush, nephew. My sister might be fond of using subtleties to entice ponies to cooperate, but I don't have the patience. You are in a relationship." It wasn't really a question, but she paused for my response anyway.

"Yes, Your Royal Highness." I confirmed.

She huffed. "Well, in my day, a noblepony informed their Head of House when they became romantically involved. I waited, nephew." Luna narrowed her eyes accusingly.

"Eagerly." Moondancer put in blithely. "It was like her favorite treat was in another pony's hooves and they wouldn't let her have any. She moped around after Night Court for a week because you hadn't told her."

Gasping, Luna's magic held Moondancer's mouth closed. Even though she was silenced, Moondancer looked quite pleased with herself. "What my dear seneschal means is that I was worried for my nephew and his suitor. I can't very well help you if you don't bring up the subject, you know."

"Maybe I don't need your help." I said without thinking. Wincing, I looked at Luna to see if she'd taken that harshly.

Instead, she blinked and moved on. "So you're okay with this becoming public knowledge?"

I closed my eyes and put a hoof to my forehead. "No."

"How intent are you on keeping this a secret? I assure you, rumors already abound about your relationship." Luna observed, taking a bite of zucchini noodles.

"Joe's going to give me a bit more space in public. And we're definitely keeping public displays of affection off the table." I said.

Luna turned to Joe. "And you are okay with my nephew's...desire to keep your relationship private?"

Joe shrugged. "I won't pretend I understand it, but it's important to Blue."

Luna's expression became unreadable for a moment and she drew a breath to say something. Ultimately, she just let out a sigh and chuckled half-heartedly. "Let's talk about why I called you here."

"Us being in a relationship isn't why you called him here?" I asked.

Luna shook her head. "No, I just like teasing you two. Whatever you decide to do is fine as long as you're truly happy, Blueblood. I called you here because I will be hosting a moonlit garden party!"

I glanced at Moondancer. Aunt Luna didn't usually host events. Usually, she avoided them; the Grand Galloping Gala was a prime example of her attitude towards high societal functions. Moondancer looked up from inspecting her hoof and shrugged at me. Maybe this wasn't her idea?

"Are you sure? I thought you didn't really like those kinds of things." Part of me was also quite concerned about her guest list.

Luna waved a hoof dismissively. "I'll have you to help me navigate the responsibilities of hosting an event. Celestia mentioned how often you'd held your own parties."

Laughing nervously, I looked to Joe and back to Luna. Apparently, Celestia hadn't mentioned exactly how...hedonistic those parties were. "Well, every host has their own style. I'd be...happy to help you find your own."

Luna clapped her hooves together. "Huzzah! This should prove to be quite the experience."

My sense of impending doom agreed with the sentiment, but not in the way Luna would want. "Moondancer, have you started putting together a guest list?" I held out some hope that somepony had enough sense to make this one a small event.

Moondancer colored, clearing her throat before she spoke. "Her Royal Highness already sent out invitations."

My slim hopes crashed to the ground like a narcoleptic pegasus. "Oh? And how many ponies did she invite?"

Luna snorted. "'She' is right here, and the guest list was a respectable one hundred ponies. Of course, I'm sure not everypony will be able to make it, although I intend to plan is if they will. Also, I've invited the other princesses. Cadence and Twilight have already RSVP'd. I'm sure my sister will attend as well."

I managed to pull my lips up into a shaky smile. "That sounds lovely."

"Moondancer has your invitations. We decided to give them to you personally, since we'll need help from both of you."

Joe's ears perked. "Oh? You'd like a bit of Donut Joe's catering?"

Luna nodded, smiling. "A little chaotic birdie told us of something called 'donut cakes.' I believe you have been holding out on me, Mr. Joe."

P.B. and ... Parties

As Luna and Joe went over possible donut cakes, I motioned to get Moondancer's attention. The unicorn mare finally caught on and I did my best to convey that we needed to talk. After a few attempts, she finally got the message and nodded.

"Thank you for dinner Aunt Luna." I said.

"You're welcome, Blueblood. Oh, and do me a favor and escort Moondancer back to her suite. I know you wanted to speak with her anyway." Busted. I kept my composure and nodded before gesturing to the door for Moondancer.

Surprisingly, she seemed quite amicable. Given her attitude against other ponies once rivaled even Celestia's book-fort-building perfect princess, it took me a moment to process. "How long have you been my aunt's advisor?" I knew the answer.

She knew I knew, of course, but she played along. "Only just a few months, Your Highness."

"And in that time has my aunt ever struck you as the type of pony to hold a garden party?" I asked critically.

Moondancer remained unfazed. "Don't tell her I spoiled the surprise for you, but she's quite keen on exhibiting a flower that only blooms during the blue moon."

"Blue moon? I thought that was just an expression." I remarked.

She shook her head. "The blue moon is when there's the second full moon in the same month. For some reason, this particular flower responds to the extra dosage of moonlight by opening up. Kind of funny when you think of it. The flower's opening up, Luna's opening up."

Her sense of humor failed to tickle my funny-bone. "We're talking about a mare who avoids social gatherings whenever possible. When was the last time she made a real appearance at the Grand Galloping Gala?" I protested.

She adjusted her glasses and sighed. "The type of party is what's important. She doesn't like the kind of ponies that Celestia has around her."

"Well, at least in that regard our feelings are the same. Luna doesn't normally have very many ponies around her."

"She'll have plenty of help." Moondancer said.

I flicked my tail in irritation. "I don't know about you, but I'm not exactly great at putting together the kind of party that would make Princess Luna feel comfortable. Is this some pressure from her sister?"

"It was Luna's idea. We have the Royal Planner taking care of all the details. Lemon Hearts is an old friend. And a new one. Anyway, she'll know the ins and outs of putting an event like this together. I'll make sure that the princess has some time to meet with all three of us so that we can go over the finer details. Oh, and we'll have the other three princesses there as well."

"Oh joy." I snarked before I could stop myself.

She glanced at me with some scrutiny. "Princess Twilight is a friend, if I might remind Your Highness."

"Forgive me if I don't applaud your choice of friends." I huffed.

Moondancer got ahead and turned to stop me. "Twilight's not like she used to be. She went out of her way to be a better friend to me. What do you have against her?"

I wasn't prepared for this line of questioning. I walked around her and picked up my pace, leaving my aunt's schedule-maker to scramble after me. "Let's just say I'm not as wowed by Celestia's students as everypony else is. I remember Sunset Shimmer."

She scrunched her nose. "From what I understand, Sunset changed her ways too. I know it's not easy, especially if you were hurt..."

"Nothing she could do would hurt me." I said shortly.

"Then what is your deal? Are you jealous of her position? That she's become an alicorn and passed right over any connection you might have had to the throne?"

"Don't be petty. Who wants to rule Equestria? That's entirely too much work. Which also describes this party, by the way. I'm sure I'll have to make up for the short-sightedness of this event."

She made an offended gasp. "You're no the only pony who knows how the two Courts work, Princeling."

I waved a hoof dismissively and came to a halt outside her door. "Good night, Ms. Moondancer."

She stood there, staring at me. "Would you like me to open your door?" I offered.

She shook her head, apparently not ready to say whatever had just crossed her mind. Her indignation slowly melted and something else replaced it. One could almost see the gears turning in her head and it made me quite uncomfortable. Finally, she spoke. "You're not like you used to be either, Blueblood. The prince I heard about wouldn't extend such a courtesy to a lowly commoner."

Uh-oh. Somepony was reading entirely too much into the situation. "You're my Head of House's seneschal, not some primped up tart chasing after me for my title and my fame. Besides, you're not my type."

She snorted. "Take it easy there, Cassaneighva. I'm just pointing out that you've grown a soft spot on your prickly hide. Although, I have a few guesses about your type, if I may be so bold."

I tensed. "Oh? And where would you get any idea as to my type?"

"I don't have the time or the energy to keep up with the tangled web of lovers you seem to enjoy leaving in your wake. All I will say is if the rumors are true, I wish you the best."

"Thank you, Ms. Moondancer." I said mechanically. Her words cut me deep, but I wasn't about to let her see that. "But I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about."

"So you say. Good night, Your Highness." She said smoothly, walking past me and into her suite.

When I returned to the dining room, Luna sat alone at the head of the table.

"Before you ask, I sent him home. You and I need to talk about your plans." She began.

I took a seat. "I'm not planning anything, Your Royal Highness."

She looked at me sternly. "Oh, I know that quite well, nephew. You have a rather sweet somepony who's very confused at your choices."

"He told you?" I asked, ears slowly falling.

She shook her head. "He didn't have to. I could guess. Have you given any thought to the idea that in trying to hide this new flame, you may just extinguish it?"

"Aunt Luna, I just need some time to steel myself against the tabloid circus that's sure to follow. Joe's never had to deal with the media like this before."

She raised a brow. "I think he may be more prepared than you give him credit."

"Please, Your Royal Highness. Let me handle this as best I can."

She nodded. "Just remember my original advice to you; don't take his feelings for granted. Are you sure you wouldn't like to speak to Cadence. It could be by letter."

My muzzle twisted in irritation. "No thank you, Your Royal Highness." I said, my tone not as guarded as I would've liked.

"Cadence and Twilight were not the ones who wronged you." She remarked, to my frustration.

I let her have it. "You're just full of advice tonight, aren't you? Well, tell you what, I'll give you my own advice. This Moonlit Garden Party will be closely watched by those ponies who don't approve of our second ruler, whether or not they are there to see it. Any slip up is going to stoke their flames against you."

"I hope it is not as dire as all that." She motioned me closer, lifting a wing and offering me a place beside her. Reluctantly, I pulled my chair closer and allowed her to drape a wing over me. The contact was odd to me, but I did gain a sense of warmth that had nothing to do with the warmth radiating off of Luna.

"I must admit, I'm quite touched. Let me allay your fears, nephew. I'm a perfectly capable grown pony. And I can handle myself at a party. I learned a lot in Ponyville on the first Nightmare Night after my return."

I decided to focus on one part of that reassurance. "I wouldn't call them fears. Concerns, maybe."

She waved a hoof. "Whatever you call it, it shows that you've grown to care for me. 'Tis most pleasant to have earned such affection, my little prince."

I lowered my head, remembering how I'd treated her before. "I...won't deny that. You aren't anything like your sister, if I may be so bold."

"I'll allow it, but only when we're alone." Luna replied. I looked up to see her eyes brightening in a smile. "Although I wish that being like my sister was less of a negative to you. I'm still working on fixing things between you."

"I can't fix anything with her if she doesn't even know things are broken."

"It won't happen overnight. There's too much hurt for an easy solution. Although I may have an opportunity, if you're interested. Celestia is hosting a dinner with Trenderhoof, the traveling fashion writer."

"I've read all his articles!" I said excitedly, before I could catch myself.

She arched a brow. "Indeed? I suppose I should have guessed you had an interest in fashion, what with your notoriety."

"You mean infamy? And it's not just the fashion that interests me." My eyes widened as I realized how much I was saying. I was too close! My walls were crumbling under this onslaught and I was letting entirely too much of my inner thoughts loose.

"Oh?" Luna asked, pausing to take a breath and ask the question that would let her into my more private thoughts that I shared with hardly anypony.

I pushed away inelegantly, scrambling to my hooves. Luna retracted her wing, alarmed by the sudden movement. "Are you okay?"

"We're getting off-topic. I may be a bit...sweet on you, but personal feelings aside I'm very concerned about how this event will play out to improve your public image. You may have been very lucky in Ponyville, all things considered. That place is known for a surplus of friendliness and it's only more-so now that the Princess of Friendship lives there. Canterlot is a different place and the nobles of the city are even more removed from such quaintness. I fully expect to be subjected to a night of running about putting out fires, and I'll have you know I resent working above everything else."

She smiled infuriatingly. "If there is anything I can do to make your job easier, my prince, I'm sure you won't hesitate..."

I lifted my snout. "Too right! I'll need to see the guest list as soon as possible. I'll also need to be able to disinvite any of the more troublesome characters that wound up with an invitation."

She shrugged. "You may see the list. Any 'disinvitations' must have my approval, of course."

"Of course." I agreed. "Good night, aunt."

"Good night, sweet prince."

I scowled at her, only succeeding in eliciting a grin from my dear aunt.

***

"Would you go with me?" I asked Joe as he rushed around the kitchen to fill a big order. I'd offered to help, but apparently it was a very important client and he wanted to personally make sure it was perfect.

Joe paused and turned to me with a bag of frosting in one hoof. "Uh, I'm catering for Luna's moonlit garden party, if you hadn't heard. So, I'll definitely be there." He went back to work on the order.

I sighed. "No, let me back up. Would you go with me to this dinner Celestia's throwing for Trenderhoof? I could use the support and I'll need somepony to pull me away from the writer before I make a fool of myself."

Joe snorted. "Wouldn't taking me as your date kind of tip of everypony to us being...us? Like, as in 'a couple?'" He sounded a touch bitter, but it was hard to tell with him facing away from me.

I buried my head in my hooves. "Ugh! I forgot about that. Can't I have my problems one at a time?"

"Sorry, sweet bun, life doesn't work that way." Joe said helpfully.

I turned a blank expression his way, belatedly remembering he couldn't see me. "Thanks for your encouragement."

"Isn't there any other pony who would go with you?" Joe asked.

It was my turn to snort. "I don't know if you've heard, but I'm not exactly known for ending relationships on a good note."

"Well, who haven't you dated or offended in Luna's court?" He asked as he placed a half dozen freshly-frosted donuts in a box. He picked up a can of pickled beets, one of his favorite treats, and looked around.

"Luna's court is tiny. It's mostly older married mares and widows. Well, and Fancy Pants, but he's married." I explained. Spotting the can-opener beside me, I casually hid it behind my back.

Joe turned around, surveying the counter-space. "Didn't she get a young new advisor recently?"

I pointed at myself with my free hoof. "Yeah, me. I'm not keen on going all by my lonesome."

"No, a mare. Moonprancer? Dunedancer?" He asked as he starting looking through drawers.

"Moondancer?" I practically shouted in surprise.

He popped his head up from around the island counter. "What? Why not?"

I thought it over for a moment. "Actually, that may be a good idea. You're sure you won't mind that I'm not taking you?"

Joe gently shoved me away from the drawers I'd been leaning on. "Until you feel comfortable with us being public, I guess it'll work. Just don't fall for her feminine charms."

"I assure you, the one with the most charm is me." I said, sneaking a kiss onto his snout before giving him the can-opener.

"And so humble, too."

P.B. and ... Propriety

Royal Dinners could be grand, elegant affairs with nobles, notables and dignitaries of all sorts. The Royal Canterlot Houses dated back before the foundation of Equestria, after all. Royal cutlery, decorations, and traditions brought one's attention to the sheer weight of history that rested comfortably upon Their Royal Highness' shoulders. Even if the guest of honor was a common unicorn writer, the prestige of the event could hardly be ignored.

My companion of the evening, Moondancer, couldn't help but take it all in. "I don't care how many times I see it; it's all so gorgeous."

"I know." I replied, more out of the feeling that I should rather than any inclination to do so.

That might've encouraged her, because she continued. "Just think of all the famous ponies who've used these very utensils."

I made a face. "I'd just as soon not. Rationally, I know the castle staff takes care to make sure each piece is immaculate, but not everypony has great hygiene."

Moondancer rolled her eyes. "Sir, you said it yourself. Rationally. And I think it's a bit snobbish to bring up another pony's personal hygiene in such a manner."

"I apologize for the implication, Moondancer." I said mechanically. Apologies weren't difficult. Being sincere about them, on the other hoof...

"Let me enjoy tonight, if it pleases Your Highness." She sighed, turning to take in more of the scenery.

"Honestly, it all seems a bit gaudy to me. The Royal Houses put on a flashy show but, aside from the historical significance, there's not much to it. Do you think the early days of the Royal Houses were like this?"

"The Royal Houses as we know them today came from the unicorn houses from the time of the three tribes of Equestria. When Equestria was founded, the ruling structures of all three nations were melded together. The unicorn houses expanded to include the military structure of the pegasus civilization and the local governance took on more earth pony conventions. The resultant financial gain substantially increased the influence of the Royal Houses and the nation as a whole. We are at our most prominent when working in harmony." Looking around Moondancer, I caught sight of the pegasus stallion that had sidled up and horned in on our conversation.

"Sir Grand Prize, thank you for that truly gripping explanation." I said innocently. That I'd heard this particular lecture before likely escaped the broken cage that was the old stallion's memory.

He nodded at me blithely. "Your Highness, an unexpected pleasure to see you at one of Her Royal Highness Celestia's functions."

"He's a big admirer of--" I bumped into Moondancer, knocking her glasses off.

"Oh dear, let me get those for you, Moondancer." Picking the glasses up in my magic, I made a big production of cleaning them off for her. Losing interest, Sir Prize wandered off to bother somepony else.

"Let's keep my admiration of Trenderhoof to ourselves, shall we?"

"I can't believe we're here so late. The dinner is going to start soon and we barely made it through the reception line in time." Moondancer complained. "Aren't I here to keep you off of Trenderhoof? You barely said two words to him."

"You don't make idle conversation in the reception line. That's what the drawing room afterwards is for, assuming we're invited to that."

She tilted her head. "We could be invited to the dinner, but not the...what, after party?"

I shrugged. "I suppose one could call it that. Princess Celestia extends personal invitations to only some of the dinner guests. She does this out of consideration to her guest of honor and to those members of court who wouldn't want to linger around and chat."

"Moondancer!" An excited voice rang out from behind us. "I almost didn't recognize you. Your gown is amazing!"

Reluctantly, I turned around to face Princess Twilight Sparkle. Nodding my head respectfully, I greeted her. "Your Royal Highness, always a pleasure."

Twilight's enthusiasm waned at my presence. "Oh, uh, likewise, Your Highness. I mean, Blueblood. I mean Prince Blueblood!"

"Her Highness is welcome to use any of those names, given her precedence. Using all three is overachieving, though." I sneered. I couldn't help it, the bumbling, high society-inept egghead deserved quite a few things, but my Aunt Celestia's affection wasn't one of them.

"I didn't expect to see you two together. How long have you been an item?" Twilight asked obliviously.

Moondancer laughed. "We're not. His Highness invited me along so that I could get a real first-hoof experience with a royal event. You could call this research."

"I hope you're enjoying everything." Twilight said guardedly. "It would be a shame if anypony were to be playing with you." Her eyes bored into me at the end of her not-so-subtle inference.

"It would be a shame for the Princess of Friendship to think so poorly of a pony that she couldn't see them making real connections with other ponies." I observed. "Then again, given somepony's track record with mishandling problems, I suppose it could be argued that a certain pony very nearly puts the 'end' in 'friend.'"

"Your Highness--" Moondancer whispered harshly.

"I'm sorry, Moondancer, did you want to take a crack at this? Not to put words in your mouth, but you could say that Her Royal Highness puts the 'amity' in 'calamity.' You are more familiar with Princess Sparkle, after all." Twilight's look of resentment made the whole debacle worth it.

Pointing behind me, Moondancer broke my winning streak. "No, but I think you're quite familiar with the pony behind you."

One of these days, I'd remember to check around to see where Celestia was before I opened my big mouth. Turning around, I bowed. "Your Royal Highness, my sincerest apologies...oh it's you." My expression fell as my gaze came to rest on the pretty pink princess pony and proponent of perfect love, Cadence.

"Nice to see you too, Prince Blueblood." Cadence said primly.

I avoided rolling my eyes. "Sorry, I just thought you were somepony else."

"Like Aunt Celestia?" Cadence asked coyly.

"Like a useful pony." I corrected.

Cadence merely laughed. "We're not foals anymore, Blue. Why don't you put away the venom for one night and try to have some fun."

"Forgive me, Your Royal Highness. I'm not the royal gravekeeper, but I'll try to bury the hatchet deep in the depths of my resentment for you both."

Twilight glanced skyward, irritation plain as her mane. "Classic Blueblood."

"What do you know about me, Twilight?" I asked contemptuously.

She didn't back down. "Well I know that you went out of your way to be the most inconsiderate, unchivalrous prince in all of creation just to get under the skin of somepony who admired you."

I scoffed. "I'm just a pretty face, Princess Sparkle. I'm sure Lady Rarity hardly spares a thought for me. I doubt she actually wanted to get to know the real me anyway."

"Your loss. You counted her out before she ever got in." Twilight said, inches from me.

"Enough!" Cadence glared at me. "Blueblood, if you can't accept our friendship then at least have the courtesy to stay away."

My temper flared at her casual disregard. "This is where I belong! The palace was my home long before it was either of yours. The daughter of a tiny Noble House and the product of common, unremarkable unicorns has less claim."

Moondancer moved between me and the princesses. "Blueblood, we have to get ready to be seated now. Princess Celestia will be here soon and we don't want to cause a scene in front of her guest."

Looking back at the others, Moondancer bowed her head and ushered me away.

The Royal Dining Hall featured the head table proudly upon a dais. The three lower tables were arranged into a horseshoe with the open end facing the head table. After consulting the place settings, Moondancer picked out our names. Our seats were on the end of the horseshoe, to the left of where Celestia would face. When we'd taken place near our chairs, I looked over at her. "I'm sorry, Moondancer."

"For what? Fighting with my friend, denigrating her friends to her face or maybe you're sorry for referring to said friend as a 'product of common, unremarkable unicorns.'" Her tone could cut ice.

I looked at my hooves. "Yes. I'm sorry for all of that."

Even without looking, I could feel the weight of her gaze on me. "I don't understand you. Why would you even come to this event, let alone ask me to come with you? I'm as common-born as Twilight Sparkle. Why don't you hate me as much as her?"

"I don't hate them." I protested feebly.

Moondancer snorted. "Well, you certainly could have fooled me."

At the majordomo's call, I looked up. Princess Celestia entered the dining hall. Everypony bowed or curtseyed as she made her way to the head table.

By all technicality, I should have been placed there. Even as the non-hereditary prince of the smaller Royal Court, I belonged in the upper rungs of Canterlot society. Given my reputation and conflicts with three out of four princesses, though, it wasn't altogether surprising that I was placed at a lower table.

Princess Celestia scanned the room, acknowledging the respect paid to her. Her eyes fell on me and I nearly looked away. Instead, I steeled myself and held her gaze before nodding respectfully. Celestia's gaze lingered a moment longer, her face unreadable as ever, before she finally took her seat. At that cue, everypony present took their own seats. I held out Moondancer's chair, pushing it in gently without the use of magic, as was proper. I kicked Civil's voice out of my head and took my seat.

Halfway through the dinner, one of Celestia's hoof-maidens approached me and curtseyed. I drew my eyebrows together, confused, before I nodded respectfully. "I am commanded by Her Royal Highness to extend an invitation to Princess Celestia's drawing room at the end of dinner to you and your guest."

"My guest and I present our compliments and have the honor to obey Her Royal Highness' command." I replied, restraining my sigh of exasperation. That a spoken invitation would be worded like a written one was just on this side of hilarity nowadays. Then again, things had become lax with Celestia with two extra princesses around. Maybe this over-formality was to make up for the over-familiarity.

"Who do you think instructed her to extend an invitation so formally?" Moondancer asked.

I turned to her, surprised. "Have you not heard about Civil List? She instructed many ponies on the finer points of high society. Her name is second only to her teacher, DeBray."

"As in DeBray's Peerage?" I nodded, curious as to when she ever picked up a book on the Noble Houses of Canterlot.

She read my mind. "I looked through a few editions after you invited me. Oh! That reminds me. DeBray's didn't include the Blood family line until the 147th edition. You're in the most current ones, of course, but I thought maybe your branch came from one of the other houses."

"My line was thought to be lost long before DeBray began compiling his Peerage volumes."

"So, you were raised as a common, unremarkable unicorn?"

"My parents were doctors. They died during an epidemic when I was a foal."

"Oh sweet Celestia, I'm sorry Blueblood. I didn't know."

"My family is descended from Celestia's House. I might have been born in a common home in a common city, but I was destined for more."

"For this?" She asked, sweeping a hoof in front of her.

I looked up at the head table. "And more."

Moondancer looked at me curiously, then her face lit up in understanding. "You don't hate Twilight and Cadence."

I wasn't fond of her knowing tone, but I nodded. "I've said that."

"You're envious."

Pushing back, I threw down my napkin and stood. "I suppose I won't have the honor of obeying Celestia after all." I walked away, exiting the dining hall without a backwards glance.

"Your Highness, please slow down."

"I don't recall inviting you to chase me down."

"I'll apologize." She offered, panting slightly at the effort of following me.

I stopped and turned around. "Go ahead then."

"I'll apologize IF you tell me I'm wrong about--"

"You’re wrong."

"You don't envy Twilight and Cadence?"

"This doesn't sound like an apology."

"This doesn't sound like you're answering me honestly."

"Then let me be clear. There is no way, no chance, not even the slightest amount of doubt in my mind. I do not, have not and will never and am, in fact, incapable of being close to anything anypony might consider envious of those two overbearing, meddling, enfuriating mares!"

"Methinks our dear prince doth protest too much." Luna called from behind me.

"Well, if it isn’t Princess Shrinking Violet!" I said, rounding on her. "Tell me, princess, exactly how do you plan to run your own event when you rarely attend one your sister holds?"

Luna's smile remained in place. "By delegating my responsibilities, of course. Just like I delegated you to attend this dinner for me."

"Your managerial style leaves something to be desired."

"And your sassy, argumentative side is getting in your own way. Weren't you excited to meet Trenderhoof?"

"He sure was!" Moondancer piped up. "We even got invited to Celestia's drawing room after dinner."

"It sounds as if you're leaving another job half-done." Luna remarked.

I narrowed my eyes. "Fine. I'll go back. I'll bug the other princesses or Trenderhoof until I'm kicked out and we'll all have you to thank for this wonderful evening."

Luna nodded. "You're welcome."

Growling, I made as graceful a return as possible. Thankfully, dinner was over at that point and ponies adjourned to go home or to take their place in the drawing room.

P.B. and ... Apologies

"I'm constantly surprised by how much you're willing to put yourself through to get to Trenderhoof. Couldn't you just extend your own royal invitation?" Moondancer asked as we waited for the drawing room doors to open.

I froze, the anger in me fizzling out with the sheer hysterical simplicity of her suggestion. "Why hadn't that occurred to me?" I asked nopony in particular. "Well, I guess it's a little late now."

Moondancer smothered a laugh. "You might want an assistant."

"I have more pressing concerns." I retorted.

"Oh, you mean like how you're going to get through another encounter with three of the princesses when you can barely tolerate one?" She asked, helpfully.

"Don't think I'm not still sore about that, but no. I'll just extend an apology and offer a truce."

"Oh, well that's good," Moondancer said approvingly. "It's not like Twilight and Cadence are the proper focus of your disdain anyway, Prince Envious."

Jealous. I thought to myself as Moondancer looked over my shoulder. I'm jealous that they took somepony's attention away from me.

"Head's up." Moondancer said, pointing behind me.

"Your Highness." It was Cadence again. Turning around, I saw Twilight standing next to her. Their expressions were schooled into neutrality. Idly, I wondered how much effort that took the Princess of Friendship. Twilight Sparkle wasn't known for her patience and grace.

I bowed my head. "Your Royal Highnesses, may I offer my sincere apologies to both of you for my words earlier tonight."

"We all know how well you took being demoted to just 'Your Highness' after Cadence's ascension." Twilight said.

Princess Cadence gave Twilight a look and piped up. "We're actually here to apologize to you."

I tilted my head. "Huh?"

Cadence explained. "We'll have to exist in the same room for tonight without sniping at each other. And, with your position at Aunt Luna's side, we'll be seeing more of you as she holds more events. And, I shouldn't have told you to stay away. It was just too easy to fall back into our old patterns."

"Well, that's awfully responsible of you." I said, shifting my weight to one side casually. Moondancer elbowed me, knocking my balance off. I recovered quickly, staying on my hooves. "I did mean my apology, though. We need to negotiate a truce between us. Fighting with the two of you is counter-productive, given the obvious favor you're shown." This earned me another elbow. I scowled at first, but Moondancer's meaningful expression made me give in. "Sorry."

We were interrupted by the doors opening. I looked back at the other royals. "A truce?"

Cadence and Twilight nodded. "Lead on, Your Highness." Cadence offered. Every other noble and notable took immediate notice of us and waited for us to move first.

I smiled, though I knew better than to accept her offer. "That would hardly be appropriate. Your Royal Highnesses honor me, but I insist."

"Walk with us." Twilight offered.

"As you command, Your Royal Highness." I answered. Twilight seemed irritated that I took her words as compulsory, but I smiled at her to clue her into my little joke. Taking it in good humor, she bumped shoulders with me as Moondancer fell in behind us.

"Well, this is a surprise." Celestia said, a smile growing at the corners of her mouth. "Trenderhoof, I'm sure they need no introduction but this is..."

"Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire and Princess Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship." Trenderhoof said excitedly. "Oh, and Prince Blueblood. It is an honor to meet you all."

Twilight gestured to Moondancer, but I made the introduction first. "Trenderhoof, this is Princess Luna's seneschal, Lady Moondancer."

He nodded politely. "A pleasure, my lady."

"And a great pleasure to see my fillies getting along with my nephew." Celestia remarked. "I suppose Princess Luna sent you to take her place? For a mare in charge of her own court, I wish I could turn down as many invitations as she does."

"Our Princess of the Night extends her thanks, but has nightly duties that require her attention." I replied briskly, none-too-gently pulling a nearby drink server over magically. The pegasus recovered quickly, serving Her Royal Highness and then the rest of us.

Moondancer gazed around at us as we held our glasses, and I thought for a moment that I'd have to stop her, but it was Trenderhoof who made the toast. "To the Princess of the Day."

Moondancer lifted her glass and responded. "To the Princess of the Day." Her voice was joined by the other attendees around us.

As royals, the two other princesses and I merely nodded and Celestia smiled graciously. "Thank you, my little ponies."

Trenderhoof broke from formality to take charge of the conversation. "You'll forgive me, but I'm curious about how trends have fared here with the highest of Canterlot society. Historically speaking, the traditionalists here are slow to accept new changes."

"I think you'll find that to be true of many places and ponies." Celestia said. "Although I'd agree that Canterlot is one place that seems not to change. There are many formalities that I wish I could do away with."

"Formality is just the way to show proper respect for the power and responsibility you wield, Your Royal Highness." I said, irked by her seeming complaint.

"Believe me, nephew, I understand the problems inherent with disrespect." She held my glance a moment too long before continuing. "On the whole, though, there are some aspects of high society that are just too specific and restraining to be very comfortable to my subjects."

"The Crystal Empire is much the same way, although their ability to adapt far outshines many places I've seen." Cadence explained. "For a civilization lost in time for a thousand years, the vast majority seem to soak up new information quickly. Again, tradition has been the hardest hurdle to leap."

Twilight nodded. "I could say that about Ponyville. The town accepts change but, when I became a princess, there were just a few growing pains along the way. Some ponies treat me a little too well."

"Oh how heavy the head that wears a crown." I remarked drily.

"We accepted these things when we took our place as rulers, but we are as fallible as anypony." Celestia reminded me. "Change is good for harmony. And certain aspects of that harmony can be changed to make the music all that much sweeter for everypony and not just those that wear a crown or sit on a gilded chair."

"Or next to one, I suppose." I said, thinking of my spot in Luna's Court. "Some ponies are just lucky to have a chair to sit on."

Celestia's smile faded to take on a more neutral expression. "I suppose that's right. I hope none of you think of this as complaining."

"I believe the country phrase would be belly-aching. Isn't that what your little apple-friend says, Twilight?" I asked disdainfully, earning a poke from Moondancer. I looked at her and she mouthed the word 'truce' back to me.

"I'm sure you didn't mean it that way, Princess Celestia." Twilight said comfortingly. "Just like nopony here would mean to make anypony feel bad. Isn't that right, Prince Blueblood?"

I nodded. "Of course. One must keep their words honeyed in case they ever have to eat them later."

"I'm not some foal that needs to be handled with fluffly clouds and pleasing words. So, if anypony had something to say to me, I'd hope they would just take the direct route and say it." Celestia said, her eyes locked on me.

The group fell into tense silence that even Trenderhoof noticed. "Oh! That reminds me of a joke about the Everfree Forest. Twilight, have you heard this one?"

Looking at Trenderhoof from the corner of her eye, Twilight responded in confusion. "What? A joke about the Everfree?"

"Yes! Pinkie was helping me put together some fresh new jokes for an article about entertainment and we came up with this together. I expected her to tell everypony, but maybe she's better at holding in a joke than I thought."

"Well, let's hear it." Cadence prompted, looking from Celestia to me and back.

"What's the quickest way to any problem in the Everfree Forest?" Trenderhoof asked.

"What?" Twilight responded.

"Take a direct ROOT!" He punctuated the joke by 'tripping' over an imaginary root and hit the floor. Hard.

Twilight and Cadence clapped politely. Celestia gave in and smiled. Helping Trenderhoof up, I slapped a hoof on his shoulder. "Nice dedication to the bit."

The evening wore on without animosity between Celestia and myself. Trenderhoof took a shine to me, to my delight. Moondancer practically wore a hole in my side to interject and save me from embarrassment. I pretty much counted myself in the clear. When the gathering broke up, Celestia found her way to me. "Prince Blueblood, you and I have something to discuss. Privately."

"As Your Royal Highness commands." I said, nodding. I stood nearby and explained the situation to Trenderhoof and Moondancer. Thankfully, Trenderhoof insisted on escorting Moondancer back to her room, and the were among the last to leave. Twilight and Cadence both approached me as they made to leave. We exchanged pleasantries and a hoof shake and then I was alone with her.

I waited for Celestia to speak. She gestured over to the armchairs near the fireplace. As we took our seats, Celestia fixed me in her gaze.

"When did things go wrong between us?" She asked softly. "It seemed like you were just a little foal yesterday."

I shrugged. "When Her Highness has lived for so long, I'm sure the lives of us regular ponies must seem fleeting."

She disagreed. "That's not what I meant. We spoke about changes earlier. Truth be told, I don't always respond well to changes myself. Especially when those changes are negative."

I didn't know what to say to that. Agreeing would be all too easy, but it was also likely to hurt her feelings.

"I watched you grow up. I promised that you would be taken care of and I left you in the hooves of one of the best mothers I knew. But somewhere along the way I made a mistake. Just like I did with Luna. Just like I did with Sunset. Just like I did with so many others."

I shifted, uncomfortable. "I wouldn't say it was any singular mistake, princess."

She nodded. "I suppose you'd be right. I just wish I knew where I'd started. Maybe then our relationship wouldn't be as...challenging."

I snorted. "I'm sorry to have been such a burden on you, Princess."

"Stop it!" She protested. "You were never a burden. You're not some inconvenience in my life, Blue."

My ire rose. "You had a funny way of showing me that as a foal."

She deflated. "You're right. I could try and say that I was under a lot of pressure. I had a kingdom to run. I had to find a student who could make the right connections and wield the elements to save my sister. I had to hear about everything you did wrong, every pony you hurt. I can make all sorts of excuses for myself, Blueblood. But I hurt you."

I looked down. "No you didn’t. I was messed up long before that."

"Don't say that!" She exclaimed.

Shrugging, I continued. "Why not? I was a little foal with no parents who got bullied so much that even a princess pitied me."

"It wasn't pity." She said.

"Than what was it? Because in the years that followed, I haven't seen anything but pity and the faintest inklings of something else. Revulsion? Regret? You tell me, Celestia! What did I do wrong?" I sucked in a breath and realized I'd been screaming. Somehow, I'd also leapt out of my chair.

"You remind me of my father." She said, so quietly I almost didn't hear.

"I...what?" I asked.

She looked away and then back at me. "You reminded me of my father. Not just your look, but your attitude. Even your little flashes of anger. You grew up and you started acting even more like he had. His disdain for the other pony races, his arrogance, his need to be the center of attention. When I earned my cutie mark and became an alicorn, he treated it like it was his biggest accomplishment."

I didn't know how to take that. "I'm not your father, Celestia."

"I know." She admitted.

"Did you..." I stopped myself. Rather than ask her about her father, I decided to ask a more prudent question. "Was there ever a time, even in its smallest measurement, when you loved me? Just for being me?"

Celestia's eyes shone, her cheeks were damp with tears. "That you even have to ask me is condemnation enough." She rose, stepping forward and reaching out for me. I took a step back involuntarily, and the look on her face fell. She stopped a forelimb's length away.

I decided to answer her 'where did I go wrong' question. "Our problems came to a head when I got my cutie mark. I don't even think you remember..."

"Just after you'd run your guards around town. Your birthday. A year or two after you came to live here." Her memory stunned me.

"But, I tried telling you--" She cut me off.

"And I had something that took my attention away. I told you to wait and tell me at dinner. When you didn't, I asked Civil. I nearly fired her that night, I was so angry." She said, shaking her head. "For what it's worth, and this many years later I don't think it's worth much. I'm sorry, Blueblood."

I walked away, shakily. She couldn't do this; forgiving her wasn't something I could do at this moment. Throwing a glance over my shoulder, I left her with a parting shot. "You're right. It's not worth much."

P. B. and ... Making Things Right Part One

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

P.B. and ... Making Things Right Part Two

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P. B. and Homewrecking

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

P.B. and Time

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

P.B. and Delirium

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

P.B. and Desire

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

P.B. and Despair

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

P.B. and Destruction

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

P.B. and Dream

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

P.B. and Death

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Prince Blueblood and Destiny

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Prince Blueblood and Civility

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Prince Blueblood and Perception

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Prince Blueblood and Publicity

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Prince Blueblood and Precedence

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Prince Blueblood and Perseverance

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Prince Blueblood and Protection

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P.B. and ... Cinnamon?

Joe's home was in one of the few areas of Canterlot that I knew well; Canterlot Heights. I tried not to let on my surprise, but the donut king of Equestria picked up on it.

"I own a chain of successful donut shops across Equestria." He reminded me. With other ponies, I'd say they were bragging or trying to impress me. Donut Joe merely stated it as a fact.

While not as large as other Heights mansions, Joe's home had plenty of room. His front yard seemed more like a small orchard. The house was old red-brick and two storied. I estimated at least five bedrooms as well as plenty of spacious rooms downstairs.

As we exited the carriage, Joe tipped the driver and sent him off. Turning back to me, Joe noticed my staring. "What?"

"How do you not have your own driver?" I asked.

Joe shrugged. "I know the pony who runs a carriage business. He helps me get around for a good price, I send him a few dozen to keep his drivers happy. Now let me show you the place."

He opened the door magically and I was given a visual feast. The foyer and living room were decorated in beautiful dark-colored antique wood and furnishings. It had a clean and warm feeling; it was the kind of place you'd call home almost instinctively. The dining room was a touch brighter, but no less comfortable. Everything was taken care of to the smallest detail.

The kitchen, on the other hoof, seemed like a transplant from the bakery. A massive brick oven took up a sizable corner. Stainless steel, polished to a mirror shine, glimmered under the light. Racks on wheels stood ready to hold dozens of baked goods and the double-door refrigerator looked like the top of the line. From a nearby coat rack, Joe handed me a black cloth.

"What's this?" I asked.

"An apron." Joe replied as he put on one of his own. "If it weren't such a tradition, I'd use black in my shops. Doesn't show stains or burns as easily as white. Luckily, I know a guy who runs a laundry business and we have a good arrangement going?"

I slipped the article over my head and tied it off. Looking down, I saw words written on it in red thread. Taking a moment to mentally turn the letters around, I felt my face get warm. "'Kiss the Chef'?"

"Maybe next time." Joe quipped. "For now, we're going to have some fun."

"You didn't bring me all the way out here just to bake?" I asked, confused.

"'Just to bake'?" I cringed as he pointed out my words. He laughed. I'd thought I'd offended him, but I should've known it wasn't that easy. "No. We'll be creating edible joy. Happiness baked up nice and fluffy. Most ponies call them Cinnamon Rolls."

***

"I'll never touch another cinnamon roll in my life." I moaned from Joe's couch. I'd retreated to the living room with a stomach full of the devilishly delicious buns. For once, I didn't even care about the icing on my muzzle; I just licked my lips absently.

"You didn't have to eat so many. I didn't know a pony could handle three, let alone an entire dozen." He laughed.

"It was better than I expected." I admitted.

"You're the one who made them!" Joe reminded me.

"That's my point." I replied. My tone lacked a certain dark quality this time around. I guess I was too full of 'baked joy.'

Joe sighed and smiled. Leaning against his arm-chair, he regarded me. "We'll make a baker out of you yet."

***

I woke up drenched in sweat, my heart still racing from the memory of the nightmare. Hitting the headboard with one hoof, I cursed softly. Rolling out of bed, I shook myself and headed for the kitchen. After a few days here I'd practically had the kitchen memorized. Unfortunately, I forgot about the rack of baking pans and managed to dislodge a cast iron skillet. It hit the floor with an awful clatter before I could even think to catch it magically.

Bending over, I picked up the pan and replaced it. A voice behind me piped up. "Wake the dead, why don't you?"

I jumped, hastily grabbed at the skillet to defend myself. Instead I succeeded in knocking it towards the floor again. Joe caught it before it could make a second impact. I let out the breath I'd drawn in and resisted the urge to take the skillet and hit him with it. "You scared me!"

"And you have gotten up in the middle of the night every night so far." Joe retorted. "Are you okay?"

I frowned, shaking my head. "I'm fine. I just needed a glass of water."

"Every night?" Joe repeated.

"Yes." I said, ears pinning back with how foalish I sounded.

Joe sighed. "Okay, I could see how you'd get a sore throat from screaming."

"I didn't scream!" I yelled defensively. Joe responded only by raising his eyebrows. "Just now doesn't count."

"What are the nightmares about?" Joe asked bluntly.

"What's it to you?" I replied snobbishly. "And who said anything about nightmares?"

"If you really won't talk about it, fine." Joe relented, turning around. He disappeared into the darkness of the living room. The silence closed in around me and it wasn't long before the nightmare flashed in my mind.

"Joe?" I called out, stepping forward to run after him. Instead, I bumped into him. Apparently, he hadn't gone far. "Oh, haha. Were you spying on me?"

"No, of course not. I was just looking at my bookshelf." He replied, a little too earnestly.

"In the dark?" I asked, disbelievingly.

"You called me back." He said, changing the subject.

"I-I'm not in a good place right now. Can we talk about it...like...friends?" I turned my head away, ready for him to object to being friends.

"Absolutely. You want some leftover cinnamon rolls while we do?" He asked.

I nodded. "Only if they have that icing."

Joe shook his head. "Sweet tooth."

Telling Joe about my most recent disgrace brought out a lot of the strong emotions I'd worked to push down. To his credit, he listened and even seemed to sympathize. By the end, I'd leaned my head into his chest and took some deep breaths while he rubbed my back.

"Princess Luna. If there is anypony who can help you, it would be her." He stated simply.

"How can you say that?" I asked, my anger rising feebly.

"To put it in your terms, because it's in her best interest to try." He said. "She's your Head of House, now. If you can start to resolve your problems with the nobles and the sisters, she'll have a young, resourceful voice of influence. And I do think she cares about you."

I had my doubts, but it might be worth a shot. "I'll...think about it."