Like an Old Married Couple

by PoisonClaw

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Rainbow Dash, Rarity
Length: 2135

All Rainbow and Rarity seem to do is get on each other's nerves. Yet they couldn't be more in love. Short RariDash fluff.

All Rainbow Dash and Rarity seem to do is bicker and argue. Doesn't matter about what, not a day goes by where they don't seem to be at each other's throats eventually.

Yet they've been dating for several months and couldn't be happier. Weird, isn't it?

Proofread by Rares

Published 2016-04-15 21:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-15 21:20:01 UTC

Chapter 1

“WHAT!?”

Had anypony been unfortunate enough to have been walking past Carousel Boutique that evening, they would have nearly jumped out of their skin due to the loud outburst from inside. Were they to then work up the courage to look in through the windows, they would have been greeted to the sight of its proprietor rearing up over her kitchen table, mouth hanging open as she stared at the source of her outburst.

Namely the rainbow maned pegasus sitting across from her.

“Geeze, Rarity. No need to flip out.” Snagging a biscuit from the tray in the centre of the table, Rainbow took a bite, scattering crumbs everywhere. “It’s just some fashion show.”

“Just some-!” Rarity sputtered as she sat back down, her nostrils flaring as she attempted to calm herself. “I’ll have you know the Manehattan Avant-Garden Show is the premier event to kick off the fashion season.”

“Like I said, just some fashion show.”

“It is not ‘just some fashion show!’” Rarity stressed once more, her tea cup rattling atop its saucer as she slammed her hoof against the table. “Designers, tailors, models, all of them flock from far and wide for the opportunity to take a gander at the latest in chic design! Being able to display my designs ahead of the competition could do wonders for my publicity.”

Rainbow snorted, blowing a raspberry. “Like you need anymore publicity! I’m pretty sure the only way you could get any more famous is if you had the Princesses model your dresses at the Gala. Again!”

“Be that as it may, I can’t in good faith pass up an opportunity such as this to debut my newest line at such a prestigious showing.” Taking a sip of her tea, her face briefly scrunched up in distaste, prompted another sugar cube to be added to her cup.“What I simply can not fathom,” Rarity stirred the sugar into her tea as she spoke, “is why you seem to be so against accompanying me.”

“Oh yeah, watching a bunch of mares parading up and down a walkway in increasingly bizarre outfits. I’m sure that’ll be loads of fun. Besides,” Rainbow raised an eyebrow as she took another biscuit, “I thought all those fashion bigwigs hated the idea of two mares being together?”

“Oh, pish-posh on them!”

“Wow… that almost qualified as a curse. Maybe there’s hope for you after all.”

“I’m being serious! I couldn’t care less about what they say about us, and it would really mean alot to me if you were there when I unveiled my newest designs.” Putting on her best puppy dog eyes, Rarity pleaded, “Please?”

Rainbow Dash remained unmoved. “Not happening.”

“Why not?” Rarity whined.

“Because it’s so lame! That, and I’d very much prefer not to need ‘Died of Boredom’ written on my tombstone. I, on the other hoof, have a much better idea in mind.”

“Oh?” Rarity took a sip from her tea, not even attempting to look interested in the slightest. “Please, do tell.”

“There’s a Wonderbolt derby happening this week in Canterlot and, since I happen to be a member of the Wonderbolt Reserves,” Rainbow puffed out her chest with pride as she said this, “it’ll be a cinch for me to snag a pair of tickets for the two of us. Whatcha say?”

“Hm…” Rarity seemed to consider Rainbow’s proposal for a moment. “As ‘tempting’ an offer as that sounds, I’ll pass.”

“Huh?” The bewilderment painted across Dash’s face clearly showed that she hadn’t been expecting that answer. “B-but why? I thought you loved coming to see the Wonderbolts with me!”

“Correction: I like going to the Wonderbolts to see you. While the show you took us to on our third date was nothing short of spectacular, I have long grown tired of watching the same routines over and over again.” Taking a biscuit from the tray, Rarity dipped it in her tea before taking a bite, taking a moment to dab at her mouth with her napkin before adding, “It couldn’t hurt for them to add in something new every once in awhile.”

“But their fans love it! Don’t you remember how pumped the crowd was during our date?”

“How could I forget when you were ever so graciously yelling in my ear?” Rarity counted her lucky stars that she’d had the foresight that day to pack her earplugs. “Like I told Sassy Saddles, doing the same thing over and over again will inevitably lead to boredom and stagnation. How hard could it be to throw in an extra flip or spiral now and again?”

“The Wonderbolts spend hours getting their choreography down pat.” Rainbow retorted, fuming. “Changing anything would throw them off!”

“Well, then they need a new choreographer. The way I see it, flying should be like dressmaking: ever changing, constantly switching out old drafts to make room for the ideal choice. I can’t even begin to tell you about the amount of work I put into each dress, making sure even the smallest of details is attuned to perfection. You can’t just throw together any old thing and hope for the best!”

“Could have fooled me.” Rainbow scoffed.

“I… I beg your pardon?”

“C’mon, even I know that you could stitch together an old dishrag and all those fancy ponies would it eat it up like Princess Celestia herself had praised it. We turned hotel room decorations into dresses after all, remember?”

“I… I’ll have you know there are numerous things that go into making the perfect outfit!” Rarity sputtered. “The colors have to match perfectly and not clash with the accessories and you have to make it stand out, but not too much as to be obnoxious. Don’t even get me started on selecting just the right pair of shoes to compliment-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Rainbow Dash cut her off, waving all that aside. “Just sounds to me like you’ve been trying way too hard all this time.”

The sound of Rarity’s teeth grinding together was barely audible as she glowered at Rainbow Dash. “Not that you would know anything about working hard.”

Rainbow Dash’s ears perked up. “... Excuse me?”

“You heard me! Only a pony as lazy as you could find those drab routines difficult! Don’t even get me started on your hourly naps. A lady needs her beauty sleep, but there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, dear. With such poor work ethics, no wonder you’re still in the reserves and not actually a Wonderbolt by now!”

Silence fell over the room as Rarity’s words fluttered around them like a horde of angry parasprites. Huffing through her nose, Rainbow glared back at Rarity from across the table. “You take that back.”

Rarity turned her nose up. “I will do no such thing until you take back your words first.”

“Yeah, that ain’t happening. I’m not apologizing to some stuck up like you.”

“Oh, stuck up, am I? Well, even that would be preferable to being a laze-about ruffian like yourself.”

“Better a ‘ruffian’ than a pampered tail-chaser.”

“Egomaniac!”

“Neatfreak!”

“Uncultured, rainbow-headed cur!”

“Prissy, high-end poser!”

Rarity growled, fire in her eyes as she bared her teeth. “I swear, you are the single most insensitive, bull-headed, stubborn...”

Later...

“...Sweetest mare I have ever met.”

Moonlight streamed in through the top floor window of the Boutique, illuminating the two mares in a silvery glow as they laid together in bed, sheets dangling off the edge of the mattress and just barely clinging to their bodies.

Beaming, Rainbow laid her head back against the wall of pillows behind her. “Ya, I know I’m awesome.”

“Oh, you’re incorrigible!” Rarity giggled, playfully batting her hoof against Rainbow’s chest as she snuggled closer, resting her head on her marefriend’s body. She breathed in, taking in the scent of Rainbow’s fur as she felt the steady rise and fall of her chest with each breath. Rarity couldn’t imagine a time when she had been more content than she was in this moment, even if her mane did no doubt look like an appalling mess.

“Hey, Rares?”

Rarity’s ears perked up, chuckling as she raised her head to look at Rainbow. “‘Rares?’ Oh, my sweet pegasus, you’ve been hanging around Applejack a bit much, haven’t you?” She licked her lips seductively, batting her eyes at her marefriend. “Should I be jealous?”

“I’m being serious here.” Rainbow countered.

“Oh, I know, darling. I’m just being silly is all. You were saying?”

“Well, it’s just…” Rainbow paused, turning her head away as if ashamed. “I’m… I’m sorry about what I said about your dresses. I know you put a ton of work into making sure they’re just right, even if most of it just flies right over my head. Point is, it’s important to you, and that’s all that matters.”

“Apology accepted, dear. As long as we’re making apologies, I’m…” Rarity bit her lip, looking for just the right words to say. “I’m sorry for what I said about the Wonderbolts. I know performing those routines can’t be easy and anypony with eyes can see that you’ll make a fine Wonderbolt.” Wrapping her hooves around Rainbow Dash, she hung on like she was afraid the pegasus would fly away if she let go. “After what I said…” Rarity choked back the hint of fear in her voice, “When you didn’t answer right away, I feared I had crossed the line and said something I couldn’t take back.”

“Nah, I knew you didn’t mean anything by it.” Rainbow reassured her, lightly running a hoof through Rarity’s mane. “Trust me, I’ve seen you when you’re really angry about something. Speaking of which…” Leaning forward, she popped a kiss onto the end of Rarity’s nose. “...I ever tell you how cute you are when you’re mad?”

“I seem to recall that being your excuse for a pick-up line once the cider kicked in.” Rarity teased, giggling. “I wager I ought to start keeping a tally.”

“And ruin the fun?” Resting her head back, Dash stared up at the underside of the canopy for several seconds without a word. “Though… if you really want me to come with you to this show… I guess it wouldn’t kill me to go.”

Rarity’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Really?! You mean it? Oh, thank--”

“Ah, ah! On one condition.” Rainbow beamed at she announced her ultimatum. “I get to book us a reservation at that restaurant around the block from our hotel.”

Rarity’s smile slipped from her face, the sensation of cold dread running down her spine. “The… the seafood one?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s been too long since I’ve had some good prawn.” Raising her head, Rainbow could clearly see that Rarity didn’t share her enthusiasm for good seafood. “Oh, don’t make that face. You’ll love it, I swear. And, mark my words, I’ll get you to try some fish even if it takes me the entire trip.”

Rarity shuddered. “You’re welcome to try, but I assure you I will never understand the appeal of eating something with eyes. Still, venue aside, it has been far too long since we went out for dinner, just the two of us. Oh, I’ll have to start thinking about what to wear.”

“No glitter, please? Stuff gets everywhere.”

Rarity gave a half hearted “Mhmm…” in response as she closed her eyes and laid her head back onto Rainbow’s chest. With nothing more to say, the two of them lay together in silence, the only sound being the steady click of the clock on the wall as the minutes ticked by.

“Psst, Rarity?” Rainbow whispered. “You awake?” When she didn’t get a reply, she inched herself closer, careful not to disturb the peaceful unicorn. Unfurling one of her wings from her side, she draped it over Rarity, swaddling them in the warmth of her downy feathers.

Leaning down, she gave a quick kiss to the top of Rarity’s head, a smile spreading across her face as she closed her eyes and began to drift off. “I love you, Rarity.”

“I love you too, Rainbow.”

“Ak!” Rainbow’s eyes shot open, instantly awake. “I… I thought you were asleep!”

“Not quite yet I’m afraid, dear. Why, is that a problem?

“Um... uh… Well, I… “

“Awww, what’s wrong?” Rarity cooed, nuzzling further into Dash’s fur. “Is my wittle Rainbow worried I’ll tell all our friends how much of a big softy you really are?”

“No! That’s not it! It’s just… um…”

Rarity giggled, picturing the adorable blush of Rainbow’s face. “Oh, don’t worry, Rainbow. This’ll just be between you and me. It’ll be our little secret.”

Rainbow breathed a sigh of relief. “Thanks, Rar-”

“Well… so long as you come to the spa with me tomorrow, that is.”

“... Oh, ponyfeathers.”