My Little Tale

They panted heavily, catching their breath beside a tree.

After meeting with Yuon, the pony began staring at them for no apparent reason, and gave chase to the human almost immediately. The human spent the following ten minutes trying to outrun the monster, and failing miserably over and over. Each time they were caught, they would receive a nice batch of spiked combs, which, fortunately for the human, would do little to no damage.

Eventually, the enraged pony calmed down, after the human realized the fact that they had a comb in their pockets, and given it to the pony, which trotted happily back into its shack.

Their lungs no longer hurting, and their breath stable again, they began marching on forward, always following the snowy path.

Although, they had to admit, this path was really long, they had probably been walking for at least thirty minutes, excluding the accidental comb robbery, of course. Nevertheless, the human was determined to reach its end and find someplace to finally rest.

After a few minutes of walking, and (strangely) nothing of interest happening, they stumbled across an opening furnished with a table and a chair, one having an unplugged microwave on top and the other a lone muffin with a piece of paper strapped on it.

They approached the scene with caution, well aware of the affects suffered from overexposure to seemingly normal things in the underground.

Taking the piece of paper from the muffin, they began reading it.

' HEY ITS ME YOR BEST BAKER DERPIMENA I JUST WANNA SAI I SAW U RUNNING AROUND FOR NO REASON AND DECIDED TO BAKE YOU A MUFFIN STRAIT FROM MY HOSE I REALLY OPE YOU LIKE IT '

' FROM THE WORLD'S BEST BAKER - DERPY' '

They glanced up at the muffin before them.

Carefully wrapped around in its paper muffin cup, the muffin itself was dotted with little brown flakes, while its delicious chocolate-colored texture left little to no resistance in eating it. And so with one quick sweep, they took hold of it and munched on it.

...

...

Surprisingly, it tasted good, contrary to the mare's random personality and somewhat clumsy behavior. The human simply devoured it, satisfied with the nice treat made by Derpy. They brushed the crumbs off of their face and nodded to themselves, agreeing that this was the single most well-baked muffin they had eaten yet.

After a while, they glanced at the microwave, convinced that it was put there in case the muffin became too cool, even though it was still unplugged. They glanced inside, noticing that there was another muffin, with yet another note strapped on to it, but this time, its message very clear from behind the microwave's glass:

' FOR THE GRIZZLY BEER IN THAT CAVE IN FRONT OF YOU, NO TUCHING! '

The human looked up, just now noticing that there was a huge cave entrance in front of them, which presumably housed the beer... Or was it bear?

After a few moments of admiring the muffin inside the microwave, they set off on following the path again, in hopes of finally getting some much needed rest.

As they walked, the surrounding forest began being ripped apart by cliffs and steep hills, eventually turning into a mountain range.

They looked down from the mountain, and admired the view they got. A flood of trees, with a neat little river passing through them, and a house only noticeable by its smoke flying up from the chimney. It looked so much like the surface.

Suddenly, they felt something tapping their shoulder.

"Ahem, excuse me,"

They turned around, and were greeted with the view of a pony. An uncertain smile on its lips and a cautious look, it tried saying something, while its purple curly mane kept falling off from its hairnet. The human happened to notice that this pony had a horn too, experience tells them to be cautious around it.

"I, uh, just wanted to ask you if you, uh,"

"Want a bowl of soup?"

The human glanced around, confused by their question.

"O- Oh, yeah right!"

"My stand is right over there, can't see much past the fog,"

"Follow me if you want to try some,"

The human followed the mare, although a little hesitantly, over a small bridge and atop another cliff. They looked to their left and were shown a little stand, a sign above its umbrella clearing stating that it had soup.

"I've uh, been waiting for a customer to pass through here, but..." She said as she trotted behind the stand.

"It's been nearly two days since any sensible customer came here,"

...

"Yes, they do, but..."

"Those two sisters aren't exactly... You know, how one would expect them to be," Chuckling a little.

"B- But that's beside the point!"

"Welcome to my little corner of the mountain, where we sell the best bowls of soup in the Underground!"

"One fresh bowl is only twenty-three gold!"

The human thought for a moment on the purchase they were about to make, and decided to check their pocket to see if they had some gold.

' GOLD: 37 '

...

They seemed to be nearly broke.

But bought the bowl of soup anyways.

"Alright! Bowl of soup for the tiny human, coming up!"

Concentrating, the mare levitated a spare bowl and started filling it with green soup, splattering her pink coat with bits and pieces of carrot and other vegetables.

"Here you go!" Floating the hot boiling soup to the human.

...

"Where's the spoon, you ask?"

"Don't you know? Here, we drink the soup right out of the pot! Go ahead!"

They sighed, and shortly after gulped the entire soup down. It was burning hot, but they had to admit, it tasted really good.

After finishing the soup, they let a huge gasp out to try and cool their burning mouth down. They even waved just to get some air inside.

"Eeeeenjoyed it?"

They nodded quickly, still trying to cool their mouth.

"Great! Thank you for buying my soup!"

"It really helps me out," Smiling at the human.

...

"Spice? No, I never use that, why?"

"Oh, is it still burning? Here, have this,"

The mare gave them an ice cube.

...

"What?"

**

The human walked down a hill, trees once again becoming plentiful and the winds finally calming down.

They turned a corner, and were greeted with the sight of Derpy, the world's best muffin baker, who sat there, looking at the sky with a blank expression. She hadn't noticed the human yet.

The human approached the mare, and tapped on her head.

"Huh?"

"OH HI-"

She stared at the human.

"Oh. My. Golly." Mouth agape.

She stared at the human's magnificent snow top hat, and their smoking mouth, which looked like a chimney each time they opened it.

"THAT IS SO AWESOME OMG"

"I WANT THAT, NOW,"

The human seemed a bit disgruntled.

"YOU HUMAN ARE THE BEST, I RARELY CAN GET A TOP HAT, I ONLY GET A MUFFIN MOST OF THE TIME,"

"OH, AND, HOW DID YOU GET YOUR MOUTH TO SHOOT SMOKE LIKE THAT??"

...

"wait." Her eyes suddenly adjusting.

"you bought a bowl of soup, FROM HER?!"

"that's like... SO AWESOME!"

"I'VE NEVER SEEN THAT HAPPEN, SHE MUST'VE USED A MAGIC SPELL OR SOMETHING,"

The human rolled their eyes.

Derpy's did a three-sixty turn, somehow.

"Oh, and human!"

"Did you like my muffin?! I baked it just for you!"

The human nodded, somewhat happy now.

"YES! This is proof that I can be the most bestest muffin baker everest!"

"... But, you didn't touch that other muffin, did you?" Her pupils shrinking.

...

"HAH! I KNEW I COULD TRUST YOU!"

"OH AND BY THE WAY,"

"THOSE PUZZLES YOU DID BACK THERE,"

"They weren't mine," Gaining the human's full attention.

"They were there since I came to this forest, funny how plants just give you top hats for no reason,"

"AND I JUST LOVE IT!" Derping around in a circle.

The human sighed a little, letting out a nice puff of smoke out of their mouth. They turned their attention to what was behind Derpy.

A carefully placed set of rocks with the much familiar ' O ' puzzles, which the objective was to turn all of the ' O ' spots into triangles by stepping on them. However, their experience with these puzzles wasn't very safe, to say the least. There was a reason why they had a top hat on their head after all.

"Oh, and that there is MY puzzle!" Noticing the human's absence from her little dance.

"I tried to make it look like the bartender in Snowdin, but I think I misplaced the eyes, just by a little bit,"

"But hey! Solve this awesomely-crafted puzzle, AND I'LL SHOW YOU MY FINAL FORM!"

The human watched as Derpy entrenched herself in the snow, and reached for a pair of binoculars eagerly searching for something. They could see her eyes in the binoculars, both flying around their eyeballs, still unsure where to look at.

The top hat they wore was becoming increasingly heavier, as small flakes of snow began falling from the sky. With that in mind, the human decided it would be best to leave the hat somewhere safe. The answer was made quite clear to them.

They took off their top hat, and put it on Derpy's head.

She didn't seem to notice.

Now turning themselves to the puzzle, they had noticed that the pressure plate was put on the opposite side of the area, just beside a tree. Slowly and carefully, the human tapped the symbols one by one, not planning in repeating the same mistake they had committed back in that other puzzle.

After finally stepping on the last symbol, they turned around, and were about to call Derpy, until they noticed a single square symbol in the midst of all the triangles. They sighed.

They needed to reset the puzzle, but how, was the question.

The human looked around, and saw nothing that could assimilate to a pressure plate or lever. Except of course, the one right next to them, which was probably there to use when all of the puzzle was turned into triangles. Either way, they pressed it, which caused an audible thump coming from their back.

They turned around and only just then noticed that the path used to be blocked by a wide arrange of spikes.

The human called Derpy this time, which disappeared beneath the snow, and returned right back up through a hole near the human.

...With the top hat still intact.

"WOWIE, THAT WAS QUICKIE," She mused, rather loudly.

"CONGRATZ HUMAN, YOU SHALL RECEIVE AN AWESOME PRESENT RIGHT AHEAD...!"

"Or is it left ahead...?"

"Anywaaaays, don't forget your epic top hat! YOU'LL NEED IT TO SURVIVE YOUR PRESENT!"

At this, the top hat fell from the sky and landed directly on the human's head. The human wanted to say something to Derpy, but she had already left.

They heard a chuckle.

The human noticed Pinkie Pie sitting there, munching on some fries just by the floor spikes. They approached her.

"So kid, whaddya thought of that?"

"My sis' worked a bunch on it, even though she forgot to remove the pressure plate over there,"

...

"Nah, it wasn't for you to use,"

"She pressed the thing whenever she got stuck in the puzzle,"

...

"Look, before I answer that, maybe you need to clear up that smoke of yours,"

"Cus' my fries over here are going to get double-cooked with that," Giving a small wink.

"Hold on a second, I might have a solution for you,"

She put the fries down, and turned around, searching for something.

"Ah, there we go!"

She pulled out a nice wooden smoking pipe, and inserted it in the human's mouth.

The smoke from the human's mouth was now entirely coming out from the end of the pipe. It looked like a proper chimney now.

"But we shouldn't forget the icing on the cake, hm?"

The human felt as a monocle was neatly put on their face, complete with a pocket watch and a highly sophisticated tie.

A click, and then a flash of light blinded the human, which forced them to blink several times.

"And all done!" Smiling.

"You look like the most stereotypical person from the capital,"

"And you should be proud, silly,"

The human had absolutely no idea why they had the certain appearance of a noble, or how Pinkie even had all of those things behind her without them noticing. All they did in response was to sigh, and let out a barrage of smoke through their pipe.

"Aw, don't be so sad, kid,"

"At least you'll get to see my sister's big number in style," She chuckled.

"Go on ahead, I'm waiting on the other side,"

**

A few minutes of walking (and being blinded by their monocle on multiple occasions) later, they stumbled across a pair of shacks, set in the middle of a hill. The human walked across a bridge from one hill to another.

Now arriving there, they found out that these shacks were in fact shops, each having on display various objects, ranging from plush toys to t-shirts depicting the area around them.

In the middle of each shack, there were signs with promotional text and discount offers.

The words of these signs were crudely drawn on a yellow background, easily seen from afar, excluding of course, the unfortunate habit the fog had in leading them to dead ends and limiting their sight greatly. This naturally caused some confusing moments when the human forgets where the main pathway was.

Although some of these merchandises were intriguing, the human had decided to leave them behind, since there were no shopkeepers nearby.

They passed the bridge again, and continued on through the main path.

As time passed, and the path stretched itself throughout the underground mountain, the human couldn't help but feel that they were being watched, no matter where they found themselves in.

Maybe it was because of the two amazing statues of snow demonstrating with an astounding detail, the two sisters.

Both had a sign, each with two names.

'THE GRAPE DERPIMENA - Cooker of Worlds '

Derpy's statue represented her with a cooking hat, holding two frying pans while she stood on her hind legs, posing dramatically. The pans seemed to be coming straight at each other... Or was it at Derpy's face?

' Pinkie Pie - Eater of Fries '

Pinkie's statue showed her sitting on a comfortable-looking couch, wearing a party hat, and lazily munching on some fries. Below her was a box with the words 'Quality Fries' written on it. The container seemed empty.

The human smirked at the snow statues, imagining each sister's reaction to the other's work.

After a while, they left the statues alone, and continued down the pathway, which by now, was steadily descending the mountain to roughly the level which most trees were.

They had to admit, so far, this forest was one of the most exhausting, fun, and somewhat painful they had encountered yet. But for some reason, none of this bothered the human anymore. It was as if they had gotten used to it, even though they were here for more or less an hour now.

They had also gotten used to the fact that, what ever misfortune they encountered, could be resolved through any means. Mostly, running, or being extremely patient. This of course, wasn't for the fact that they had to run for more than thirty minutes from an angry Yuon, no. It was most likely because of the still-smoking pipe Pinkie had glued into their mouth.

During their train of thought, they just so happened to bump into two ponies in the middle of the path. They nearly fell back due to the weight of their top hat.

"Oh sorry!" One said.

"We didn't see you there!" The other followed.

They looked up, and found a pair of mares, looking at the human worried.

The one on the left had a yellowish coat with a double-colored mane, blue and pink. Its eyes were a bright shade of blue.

The one on the left, though generally having a blue mane and coat, had several stripes of a pale blue, similar to the rest of its body. Its vivid yellow eyes looked similar to the other's coat.

"Like, we were going back to our shops, and all,"

"Yeah, and we were about to close them,"

...

"Oooooh, nice top hat you've got there!"

"Oh wow, that's like, exactly the same as those colts use in the capital!"

"Oh my god, that's so true,"

"Where'd you get those?" Pointing at the pipe.

...

"Oh no,"

"That's so bad,"

"You bought a bowl of soup from her?"

...

"Um, Bon, what was her name again?"

"I think she's called... Ame- Ameth- Amethyst, yeah,"

"Wow, no wonder we almost forgot about her name,"

"Yeah, real hard to remember,"

"Hey, question, you're like, a human, right?"

"Wait, they are?"

...

"Oh em gee,"

"Like, we were thinking, have you bought some things from our shops?"

...

"...No?" She paused.

The other did not respond.

"Well," Her expression started to change.

"Wouldn't it be a shame if you just so happened to loose just a couple of gold coins?" The mare's expression put them at edge.

...

The mares were inching close.

"We promise we won't take too much from you," Smiling now.

The human had entered a FIGHT