Want to die

by Demonic Dragon

Rating: teen
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Sad, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Prince Blueblood
Length: 2999

Spike is being forced to stay in the kingdom of Canterlot; only until everything calms down in Ponyville. While there; two certain princesses try to help him with his emotions.

After a certain event in Ponyville; Spike is sent to Canterlot until things settle down. while there; The princesses of Canterlot discovers something the young dragon has been hiding. something that they need to desperately help him with.

Published 2016-02-27 00:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-27 00:50:02 UTC

Want to die

Want to die

Princess Celestia can be shown walking down one of the many hallways of her and her sisters castle.  She had a large smile stretched across her face and she seemed to have a little bounce in her step. Recently, Spike, her young students assistant; had come to stay with her and her sister in the palace. Although; the reason why he was staying was not exactly a good reason. She was still very happy to have him visiting. After all it had been so long since she had last seen; it was about time for a long overdue visit. When she turned down another hallway she was greeted by one of her many royal guards. The guard bowed out of respect of his princess; it cause a small smile to stretch across her face, before both of them continued walking. In a matter of minutes, Celestia, had reached the room where Spike was staying. Coming to a stop in front of the door; she lifted up her front left hoof and gently knocked on the door.

“Who is it?” Asked the voice the belonged to Spike.

“It's me, Spike.” Princess Celestia answered while a small smile stretched across her face again, “May I come in?” She asked.

In a few short seconds she heard the clicking of the doors lock; followed by the door opening, just enough for her to enter. When she was in the room; she turned around and watched as Spike closed the door. When the door was closed the young drake had turned around and gave her a happy smile. Which she returned with a smile of her own.

“Nice to see you again, Celestia.” Spike said before he walked up and hugged one of her forelegs.

“It is good to see you again too, Spike.” Celestia replied while she returned his hug. In a few short seconds; both of them broke the hug. Allowing Spike to walk over to a nearby desk; which had a few books and a few scattered papers on it, “How have you been, Spike?” She asked as he sat down on the chair that was in front of the desk.

“Fine.” Spike answered before he started to tidy up the desk; getting the papers on the desk into a neat little pile, “How have you been?” He asked.

“About the same.”  Celestia answered  as she walked up to him; seeing a number of letters turned upside down, “Luna, is doing fine as well.” She continued.

“That's good to hear.” Spike replied; except he seemed to be concentrated on the papers and letters in front of him. He also seemed to have a sad aura coming off of him; she gently put a caring hoof around him and gently nuzzled the back of his head.

“Is every thing alright, Spike?” Celestia asked in a very caring voice, “Is it about the fight you and Twilight had?” She continued.

Releasing a small sigh; he gently laid himself back into the chair. Allowing him to rest the back of his head on her chest; which also let him her the gentle tempo of her beating heart. “Yes.” He answered sadly; while a few tears started to fall from his eyes, “I can't.....I can't believe.” He choked out; except the sadness he was feeling was winning the battle inside of him. Soon he found it hard for him to speak and all he could do was release a few small sobs.

Immediately, Celestia, wrapped both of her wings around, Spike. Trying her best to comfort him; as he tired to calm himself down, “Shh. Shh.” She shushed as she nuzzled him again; trying showing him some much needed love and affection for the young drake, “It's okay, my young dragon. It's going to be okay..” She said in a motherly voice.

“B..but....hate.....me.” Spike choked out.

“She does not hate you, Spike. Nopony hates you.” Celestia replied in a reassuring voice; before he took in a deep breath and released it a few short seconds later. She then felt him gently pull away from her; causing her to look down at him.

“I'm sorry, Princess. But, could you give me some time alone?” Spike asked while he rested his head and arms on the desk in front of him.

Although, Celestia really wanted to help him with the sadness he was feeling. She respected his wish to be alone and slowly walked out of the room. Just before she was out the door; she looked towards him, “Spike, if you need anything. Just send a letter to me; I promise that I will reply.” She said before walking out of the room and closing the door. Releasing a small sigh; her horn began to glow and out of her mane. A letter she had taken off of Spikes desk floated in front of her, “I'm sorry, Spike.” She apologized as she turned the letter around and opened it, “But, I want to help you.” She continued before she removed the contents of the letter. Which caused a look of complete horror and disgust to appear on her face. Inside the letter was five pieces of individual paper; one was a letter saying how everypony hated Spike, and wanted him dead. Another was a drawing of his face; well half of his face, for one half looked just like him. While the other half of his face; looked like that of a monster, one would hear in a horror story or play. The third was a darker drawing of him; lying lifeless on the ground with a spear embedded in his chest. As blood poured from the wound and pooled on the ground below. At the top of the picture the words “ALL MONSTERS DESERVE TO DIE!” were written. The fourth seemed like a foals drawing; which showed Spike, standing over Ponyville and destroying some of the buildings. The words, “YOU'RE A BIG MEANIE!” were written at the top of it. The fifth was another letter; saying how it would be much better if he was no longer alive, and that he should just kill himself. Immediately, Celestia destroyed the pieces of paper and released a sad-angry gasp; while she tired to do her best to stop herself from crying.

“What happened in Ponyville?” She asked herself as she walked away from the room; fighting off the temptation to go back in the room, and demand an answer for what she had just saw.

Back inside the room; Spike is shown with half his body lying on the desk. He was holding a single photo in front of him; while tears fell from his eyes. The picture showed all six of his friends and himself smiling happily as they posed. Just above the picture four words can be seen, “WE STILL LOVE YOU!”. Releasing another sad sob he hugged the picture close to his body. Before he feel to the floor; going into the fetal position as he began to cry again. “I'm sorry.” He whimpered as his body started to shake in sadness, “I'm so sorry.” He continued.

In a matter of hours' Celestia had lowered the sun and her sister, Luna, had raised the moon. Spike, had  not left the room he was staying in since he had arrived. Although, Celestia wanted to desperately question the young dragon about the pictures and letters. She knew that he needed time to let his emotions sort themselves out. But, the temptation to enter the room and embrace him always managed to enter her mind. Thankfully, thought, it was almost dinner time and she had asked Spike to join her and her sister. Which he accepted; which brought her not only great joy, but also great relief. When the food was prepared; all three of them can be shown sitting together at a really large table. All three of them were quietly eating together; that was until Luna decided to break the silence.

“It is good to see you again, Spike.” Luna said while shooting him a happy smile; which he returned.

“It is good to see you too, Luna.” Spike replied; before he took another bite out of the food he was eating, “How have you been?” He asked her.

“Fine.” She answered, “Yourself?”

“I am fine as well.” He answered.

“That's a lie.” Celestia though as she stared at the young dragon. Almost as if she was trying to read his mind; but, yet she was unable to read his thoughts. That was when all three of them heard the door to dining room open; which caused all three of them to look up. Allowing them to see a solid white unicorn stallion; with a blonde mane and tail. He wore a a very fancy vest and on his flanks was a cutie mark of a compass rose.

“Aunts.” The stallion greeted.

“Blueblood.” Celestia greeted back.

“Nephew.” Luna greeted back as well. But, her greet seemed forced, not natural.

Blueblood then caught sight of Spike and gave him a scowl, “Spike.” Blueblood greeted with slight anger in his voice.

“Blueblood.” Spike greeted back with a forced smile of his own.

“Aunt Celestia, may I ask you something?” Prince Blueblood asked as he sat down next to Luna.

“What is it nephew?” Celestia asked.

Blueblood then glared at Spike, “Why is that beast here?” He asked causing all three of them to stare at him; with faces that showed complete shock.

“Blueblood!” Princess Luna shouted as her look of shock turned to anger, “What is the meaning of this? Why did you call Spike a beast!?” She asked.

“Oh? I'm sorry, neither of you knew.” He replied with a smug grin across his face. While a look of complete horror etched itself onto Spikes face.

“Blueblood! No!” Spike begged.

“That, no good beast! Almost destroyed half of Ponyville.” Blueblood explained.

Spike could feel tears forming in his eyes. “Blueblood, please no!” He begged again.

“Nephew, stop!” Celestia almost shouted.

“He grew  to the size of a fully grown dragon! He stole multiple items; from the villagers! But, the worst part; was when he took a hostage and almost killed her!” Blueblood shouted causing Spike to jump out of his chair and run out of the dining room. Leaving a trail of tears behind him as he ran. “Yes! Get out of here; you monster!” He continued as a wicked smile stretched across his face, “The castle is no place for you!” He finished before turning back towards his aunts; only to see them shooting nothing but glares of hate towards him. Which caused him to smile nervously.

“Aunts.”

“DO NOT AUNTS US!” Princess Luna shouted in her royal voice; which knocked Blueblood backwards, and onto his flanks. “HOW DARE YOU TALK TO MY FAVORITE NEPHEW LIKE THAT! HOW DARE YOU BELITTLE HIM IN FRONT OF US! IN FRONT OF ME!” She continued to shout; almost destroying Bluebloods eardrums.

Princess Celestia then got up from where she sat; quickly making her way to the exit of the dining room. She came to a stop at the door; only to turn her head towards her sister, “Luna.” She said calmly; getting her sisters attention and her nephews, “Put, Blueblood through number 5.” She finished before exiting the room.

Luna had a wicked smile stretch across her face as she looked at Blueblood. “Haven't had to do a number 5; since that stallion who cheated on you.” She said in a slightly evil voice; before she used her magic to drag her nephew out of the dinning room with her.

“Wait!” Blueblood shouted in fear as he tried to crawl away; only to leave deep scratch marks on the floor, “What's number 5!? WHAT'S NUMBER 5!” He screamed in fear as he was dragged off by his aunt. Who was dragging him towards the medical wing of the castle.

Out in the gardens of the castle, Celestia, is shown search for the heartbroken drake. Using a spell she had learned years ago; she was able to follow a trail of the young drakes footprints. Which glowed the same color of her magical aura. She could tell by his footprints; that he was heading for the center of the garden. In a matter of seconds she reached the center of the garden; allowing her to see the young dragon, sitting on the edge of a large fountain. He was slumped over and he seemed to be crying heavily.

“Oh, Spike.” Celestia said in a sad tone. Clearly; she was also on the verge of crying herself. After all; who wouldn't be on the verge of crying. After seeing such a beautiful and innocent creature; horribly assaulted by verbal slander. As she slowly approached the dragon; she could hear him humming a sad tune. It caused her to grow slightly confused; why was he singing? And also; what was he singing.

(I am the thing that lurks in the worlds darkest places. I am the one that etches fear onto the innocents faces.)

Spike looked up towards the sky; gazing at the stars above.

(I know there is evil in this world; because I am a living example. Sometimes I wish I could be put down like some rabid animal.)

Celestias eyes widened in horror and she released a loud gasp. How could he say such things.

(I am nothing but a nightmare come to life. Every where I go; I seem to cause endless strife.)

A few tears can be seen falling from Spikes eyes.

(I make those who are innocent cry out in terror. I'm disgusted by the image I always see in the mirror.)

Tears can be seen forming in the princesses eyes.

(I wish I had someone to hold me when I cry. Because I'm a monster that wants to die.)

Spike released a heavy sigh; as he looked down towards the ground.

((I want to die!) No! Stay away! Don't get near me! (I want to die!) I'm surprised that you're still allowed to walk free. (I want to die!) Do us all a favor and leave this town. (I want to die!) Careful. That heathen might burn your house down. (I want to  die!))

“Oh, Spike.” Princess Celestia whimpered as her tears feel from her eyes.

(On my hands they see nothing but razor sharp claws.)

Spike can be shown looking at his reflection in the water.

(I hate myself for having so many flaws.)

He then slapped the water; while he released a loud growl of anger.

(The beatings I've been getting; are finally starting to leave bruises.)

Celestia released a small gasp. She desperately wanted to run up and hug the dragon right now. But, her legs would not move.

(But, nobody cares cause I'm the monster who escaped the nooses.)

Now she wanted to tackle the dragon; so that she could hold him in her forehooves. So that she could show him how much he was loved.

(I wish I had a knife so I can slice my wrist.)

A small puddle of tears can be shown underneath Spike.

(After all this evil creature will not be missed.)

“That's a lie!” Celestia shouted in her mind, “I would miss you! Luna would miss you!”

(I'm trying so hard to keep myself from crying. But I am not lying! This monster wants to die!)

Spike released a small sob as he took in a much needed breath of air.

((I want to die!) Get out of here you freak! (I want to die!) Do us all a favor and go drown in a creek! (I want to die!) You're gonna wish you had never been born! (I want to die!) When you die no one is going to mourn. (I want to die!))

“Please, Spike.” Celestia quietly sobbed as the tears fell from her eyes; almost like endless rivers. “Stop.” She continued.

(That's it I can't take the heartache any longer. I've tried and tried, but I can't get stronger.)

Spikes fist can be shown balling into fist.

(They want me to leave! But, they had better believe. There are gonna be some who will mourn for me.)

Celestia, felt something touch her front left foreleg; causing her to jump. She turned and looked left; allowing her to see her little sister, Luna. Who also had streams of tears falling from her eyes.

(Good-bye, so long, farewell! Is there a message any of you want me to take to hell!)

Both sisters gasped when they heard Spike say that. Where did that little dragon learn such a word.

(Can you hear the ringing of my death bell?!)

Spike then had a look of anger appear on his face; before he looked back up to the sky.

(None of you will ever have to hear this monster cry. Because this monster is going to die!)

Spike; released a surprised yelp as he felt two pairs of hooves wrap around his body. He then felt two warm bodies press against his. He looked around and saw both Princesses; hugging him while they cried heavily. His eye's went wide in terror as he released; why both of them were crying. Both of them had heard his song. Tears of his own started to fall from his eye's once again; just before he fell to his knees. Dragging both the princesses down with him; he turned around and returned their hug. Crying into their shoulders; as they cried into his.

“I'm sorry.” Spike apologized in a voice just barely above a whisper, “I'm so sorry.” He continued.

“Don't be.” Celestia choked out as she nuzzled him lovingly.

“You have nothing to be sorry for.” Luna choked out as well as she also lovingly nuzzled him. All three of them stayed; in that position for an unknown amount of time. Both princesses showing Spike an endless amount of pure love. While Spike returned their love; with his own, mixed in with a little bit of hurt and also sorrow.