AnimatedJames found himself in Ponyville next to Town Hall one day for some reason.
Next to Town Hall was a tree stump. Next to the tree stump was Derpy shaking her butt at it.
*shake shake shake shake shake*
James stared at her, confused.
Mayor Mare stepped out of Town Hall and noticed a tall male figure standing outside of Town Hall. Before confronting the being, she paused for a moment and thought to herself, He seems tall.. but I somehow have a feeling he's actually not as tall as others of his.. type.
Shaking off those thoughts, Mayor Mare gathered herself and greeted the dark figure.
"Good day to you sir! I am Mayor Mare, mayor of Ponyville. May I ask who you might be?" the regal mare asked James.
"I'm AnimatedJames." replied the dark figure. "You can just call me James."
Mayor Mare was taken aback a bit. I don't know what it is, but his voice sounds as though it would be more suited to a lighter-skinned individual.
She shook off those thoughts as well. “Hello James.” she greeted. "How did you get here?"
"No idea." replied James.
"Well, what were you doing just before you arrived here?" asked the mayor.
"Drawing people farting." said James.
"Oh, you're an artis.. What??" Mayor Mare exclaimed. *ahem* She cleared her throat and regained her composure. Just remain professional! A creature from outside of Ponyville should be treated with understanding. Surely his customs and preferences simply differ from our own. "What type of art style is that, Mr. James?"
James stopped himself from elaborating further. "Um. Nevermind."
James diverted his attention back to Derpy. She was still shaking her butt at that tree stump.
"The real question is, what is Derpy doing?" James asked the mayor.
Before the mayor could give an answer, James begun his questioning of Derpy. "Hey Derpy, what are you doing?"
*shake shake shake shake shake*
"Shaking my butt, silly!" the gray derp-eyed pony replied joyfully.
"But.. why?" James asked, pondering the motives behind the overly enthusiastic mare.
*shake shake shake shake shake*
"Cuz it's fun!" Derpy said, still shaking her butt.
*shake shake shake shake shake*
"But..... why?" James asked, again.
*shake shake shake shake shake*
"I said," Derpy paused a moment to get out a few more shakes, "because it's fun!"
“Um.. but..” James started.
*shake shake shake shake shake Pffffftttttttt*
James' eyes popped wide open.
"Wh.. whoops." Derpy mumbled. She was noticeably embarrassed. "Excuse me, everypony."
A wide grin grew upon James' face.
Mayor Mare took notice of James' unusual choice of expression given the situation, but before she could ask anything about it, she looked eye level at James' pants. A bump had grown in front of his pants.
Mayor Mare jumped back. "Ahhh!" She screamed. "Mr. James! Is that.. is that? I may not know the anatomy of.. whatever it is that you are.. but is that your? Is that your?"
James looked down and joked, "Oh. Is that a banana in my pocket, or am I just happy to see Derpy?"
Mayor Mare felt her gag reflexes twinge. "Mr. James!! Have some decency!! Why.."
James then quickly stuck his hand in his pocket and pulled out a yellow banana.
"Oh." said Mayor Mare. "It's.. it's literally a banana."
"Yep." said James.
"Why in the name of Celestia were your carrying a banana in your pocket, Mr. James?"
"Dunno." replied James. "Say!" James exclaimed, cutting off anymore of Mayor Mare's perfectly justified questioning. "Do you have a pencil and a sheet of paper I could borrow?"
"Um.. I have a quill and some parchment paper if that's.."
James cut off Mayor Mare once again. "Perfect! Can I use them? I wanna draw Derpy!"
"S.. sure." Mayor Mare replied skeptically, uncertain what James was up to now.
She went into Town Hall and came back out a few moments later with a quill, some ink, and a blank piece of parchment.
“Thanks!” James exclaimed. He eagerly took hold of his new-found art supplies and began drawing.
A few more moments passed. "Done!" exclaimed James.
"M.. may I see, Mr. James?" Mayor Mare asked with a bit of hesitation.
"I drew her naked!" James proudly announced.
"Mr. James!!!" Mayor Mare yelled.
James showed the mayor the picture. She was about to close her eyes, but she caught glimpse of the picture. "Huh?" She pondered. "She looks normal."
Mayor Mare stood there for a second in thought. "Ohh. When you said naked, you meant without clothes. You.. whatever you are.. typically wear clothes. When you said naked, I thought you meant completely bare, without her fur."
"Yep!" James said. "Oh wait, did you want me to draw her without her fur?"
"No!!" *ahem* "No, that won't be necessary, Mr. James." Mayor Mare calmly replied. "Please Mr. James, no more inappropriate innuendos. Here in Ponyville we don't make such jokes. Any more foul implied gimmicks or remarks and you'll leave me no choice but to send a formal request to Princess Celestia requesting that you be banned from Equestria."
"Banned from Equestria?" James contemplated. "That's actually the name of an online game."
"A game?" Mayor Mare asked.
"Yeah." said James, "It's a game where you go around Ponyville as a stallion and you.."
Instead of continuing to explain what Banned from Equestria is about, James began singing the My Little Pony Gen 3.5 theme song. "My Little Pony. My Little Pony. Everyday is a dream come true! My Little Pony. My Little Pony. How I love to play with you! No way of knowing. Where we'll be going. Our adventures never end! My Little Pony. My Little Pony. I'm so glad you're my friend! We'll plan a party with Pinkie Pie. A bunch of balloons lift her up to the sky. Scootaloo will show us games to play. Toola Roola will be painting away. Rainbow Dash always dresses in style. Sweetie Belle's magic brings a great big smile. I hope to hear a story from Cheerilee. And a beautiful Starsong melody. My Little Pony. My Little Pony. I'm so glad you're my friend!"
"..Could use some more farts." commented James.
Ahhhhhhhhh!
Mayor Mare quickly ran inside Town Hall, wrote an urgent letter to Princess Celestia about AnimatedJames, and gave it to Derpy to send. Not too long after, Princess Celestia flew down and banished AnimatedJames to the moon.
The end
