Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny
"You know why we are here, yes?"
Celestia asked, eyes narrowed in distrust as she swept across the varying forms and expressions of those gathered before her.
After nods from the other four, the Princess continued, "Today marks the day which, I am honestly saying, I have greatly been dreading for years."
"Scared that you will lose this time, Celly?"
With the very intensity of the sun literally burning behind her stare, the Goddess darted her eyes—which glowed white hot—to the creature to her right, who shifted her wry, emerald-eyed gaze to the ceiling with a non-chelant whistle.
"As I was saying..." Celestia cleared her throat with a small grunt and cough, "But today was the day we scheduled for, even though the recent inclusion of a fith member should, in my opinion, add some more leeway for preparation."
Motioning towards the large equine figure directly across from her with a forehoof, Celestia added, "But she expressed her decision to allow the date to remain as planned, so here we are."
Pausing to question the admittedly murderous stare being administered by the subject at hand, the Goddess started to wonder...
'Was it really a good idea to keep HER around?'
"I must say, though, that this is a very...odd way of planning the outcome of a millennium." the 'newpony' of the group added, "I was expecting the same as any other world: Wars and Treaties."
"You see, Miss Moon," Celestia started, "That was how it worked. But this made daily life for me—and really, everyone else in this room—a constant and living HELL."
"Yes, I will admit that when Celestia first approached me with this idea, I was quite a bit surprised." All eyes turned to their exoskeletal 'companion' as she proceeded to lament about times of old, "I always enjoyed the thrill of war and siege, an-"
"Yes, we could tell." A small, yet confidently smug voice cut in.
Chrysalis glared daggers at the starry-maned Alicorn, suppressing a hiss, "Allow me to finish!" After confirming that no more outbursts would interrupt her, she continued, "And the look of defeat on a guard's face was always just as delicious as the love from a deceived stallion under the covers..." the Changeling paused to lick her lips, reminiscing past times, much to everyone else's displeasure—the only male of the group actually faking a gag—then continued with her story, "But there is no love in war, so I soon found that the constant sieges and battles, without any food, I might add, were not only weakening my swarm, but killing it. So I accept her offer." Chrysalis peered over to the one she had explained the story for, and asked, "Anymore questions, Nightmare?"
The battle-adorned Alicorn thought for a few moments, trying to think of any other items which needed a bit more clarity, when she spotted the draconequus beside her downing a glass of chocolate milk.
"Actually yes. What made YOU, of all creatures, agree to Celestia's req-"
"Because the game she presented seemed just like too much fun to pass up, my dear." Discord answered smugly, tossing the glass away only to have it sprout legs and walk away—in mid air—before it could shattered on the floor.
Nightmare Moon stared at the living glass as it walked out of the room, eyes wide in confusion while Discord snickered and the other three rolled their eyes.
"You...get used to it." Luna explained, "It just...takes a while."
Again, Celestia cleared her throat to gain everyone's attention. Though she dreaded to say so, the game must begin soon, else they run out of time or get discovered.
"Alright, we must begin if we wish to go through with this." she started, "I do not want a repeat of the incident five games ago."
"Ooohhh! What happened then?" Nightmare asked curiously. From Celestia's tone, she could guess that it was nothing good.
Chrysalis extravagantly flung Her right forehoof to her chest, winking, "Why, Changelings were born!"
Nightmare gave her a double-take, "What? What do you mean 'Changelings were born'?" She shifted her stare to Celestia and Luna, who both averted their respective gazes away with bashful faces, "Well?" she urged, waving for their attention.
"Changelings, you see, used to be a creature from a different world." Discord started, much to Nightmare's relief. Though why the two sister's wouldn't talk was curious to her, "They used to be just like any old bug, though bigger, in their old world, but when a pair of High Mages of the Celestial order found out about one of the sisters' naughty secrets, which was revealed through the game between Celestia, Luna, and I, the two almighty Goddesses panicked and accidentally misfired a transportation and sleep-inducing spell which—and I don't know how they managed to mess-up THIS bad—actually brought through two of the same creature from a separate world which then combined with the bodies, minds, and souls of the Magi, who both happened to be very specialized with metamorphosis spells."
Chrysalis poked Luna in the shoulder, laughing smugly, "I should thank you for bringing mommy and daddy over here!"
Both sisters' faces quickly turned to shades of red so intense, their manes actually seemed to slightly set ablaze.
"Whoa, what was the secret which elicited such a reaction, I wonder?" Nightmare thought aloud, looking off into nothing thoughtfully. Casting a glance to the sisters, she noticed that this had actually caused their manes to literally set ablaze, "What? What is it!?"
Discord leaned over and whispered in the Dark Mistress's ear while Chrysalis giggled like a little school-girl, knowing full well what was being said, much to Celestia and Luna's great displeasure.
Everyone watched as Nightmare's expression slowly shift from curiosity, to disbelief, to shock, to outright mind-blown, her own face forming a blush as her mane steamed slightly.
After a couple moments of silence, Miss Moon finally remarked, "That's hot."
The embarrassment finally getting the best of her, Celestia blurted out suddenly to get the game moving on, "Okay, okay! Enough of the old days, are we all going to start, or what?"
Everyone else, but Luna, snickered for a good minute or so before they nodded and conceded to getting the night started.
"So, you know the rules." Celestia stated, conjuring a bottle filled to the cap with some kind of murky, tan liquid, "First to give up is at the mercy of the winner's rules. Second to give up has some leeway and extra say. Third, a decent amount of leeway. Finally, fourth can have near immunity from all of the winner's rules."
The bottle was placed on it's side in the in the middle of the group and Celestia closed her eyes, sighing in exasperation while she regretted ever thinking of such a plan as this so long ago...she was in her youth, she thought, so it was probably her young, immature mind which was to blame.
"So, shall we spin to see who gets to ask first?"
Everpony knows of that good old game Spin the Bottle Truth or Dare: Bottles, curiosity, and a lot of embarrassment. There are always variations of the basics, though, such as the use of alcohol, or the inclusion of prizes or special rules to allow the deciding of a "winner." So I'm sure many are thinking, "You are not about to tell me that THIS is what those five are playing, are you?" Well I am, because it's true. Plus, it's hilarious, no? Now sit back and enjoy the drunken hilarity!
"Alright, Truth or dare, Chryssy?"
Discord gave his new prey a wry grin, knowing full well the Queen's prowess in disregarding discomfort. Something that came with the job of constantly having to do things she normally wouldn't when imponysonating somepony.
"Hmm..." grasping the bottle between her hooves—as magic was forbidden to be used on the bottle for fear of tampering—the subject of everyone's attention at the moment started to think of which choice to follow while she downed the whole bottle on one go.
With a slightly airy "Ahhh," she set the bottle back down and watched it refill itself before answering, "Truth."
Grinning mischievously, with the thought that he had found the bug's discomfort spot, asked, with the sweetest voice he could muster, "While you were disguised as Miss Cadenza, did you and Shining Armor ever bu-?"
"Yes, nine times." she cut him off, waving a hoof nonchalantly, "And I must admit, he was rather impressive." everyone else reared back, the image of Chrysalis and Shining...ugh! "I swear I thought he had an extra leg the first time we-"
"Okay, okay! We highly request that thy story ends there!" Luna shouted suddenly, her face beat red and her mane smoking like a campfire.
With a loud laugh, the Queen spun the bottle again, "Hmph, touchy subject for you, I see...oh look! Guess it's your turn, little Lulu. Truth or dare?"
Nervously lifting the bottle to her mouth, Luna knew already what she wanted, "Truth." she answered, setting the alcohol back down, nearly spilling some. Though each and every one of them there have had an immense amount of time to build-up a great endurance of alcohol, Luna was admittedly a lightweight compared to the rest. Or so she thought, anyway.
"Already know what I want to ask!" Chrysalis shouted with a wink, "Are you, after all this time, still a virgin?"
"Eep." Luna's face became redder than thought possible as every star in her mane supernova'd.
Celestia gave her little sister a sheepish look of worry while both Nightmare and Discord laughed so hard, they might have died if breathing was actually necessary for them. All the while, Chrysalis kept her smug grin, daunting little Luna. Her heart raced like a, well, horse, and body shivered as though it was winter, but eventually, clenching her eyes, she managed to blurt, "Yes!" then quickly spun the bottle before any statements could be added.
Keeping her eyes glued to the bottle until it stopped, facing Nightmare, the Moony Goddess bit her lower lip and quietly tried to calm herself down, waiting for her opponent to choose Truth or Dare.
"Eh, dare." Nightmare stated with a wave of her hoof, noticing her counterpart's inability to speak for the moment.
Still somewhat flustered from her own trial, the mind of that poor little Alicorn probably looked similar to a blueberry milkshake which had been churned with explosives. Still, everyone was looking at her expectantly and she had to give a dare before their gazes caused her mane to literally supernova again, or—even worse—implode into a million black holes...
She shuddered, remembering the last time it happened...the clogging...so much clogging...
Suddenly, an idea from the very dark, private portions of her mind slipped forwards every so slightly. At first it wasn't even notable, like a small itch, but somehow it forced it's way to the front and, being the only collected thought in her mind at that moment, she blurted out, with zealous embarrassment, the dare!
"I dare you to kiss Chryssy!"
The room was silent, save for Luna's soft, yet erratic breathing. Yes, you could have cut the awkward in the air with a butter knife...heck, even the dull side of a spork! I mean, the meek little, adorkable Princess of the Moon, daring her own Counterpart to have a make-out session with the Queen of all Changelings? Perhaps Discord di-
"Discord! What did you do to my sister!?"
Geeze, Celestia, stealing my thunder much?
The God of Insanity raised his hand-er, paws-I-I mean, paw and claw, defensively, his mismatched eyes wide in shock, just like everyone else. Except for Luna, she was prodding her own hoof with her muzzle while stars in her mane randomly changed colors like a galactic rave-party.
"I am...just as surprised as you are, my dear..."
Chrysalis and Nightmare eyed eachother skeptically from the corners of eachother's respective vision, wondering if the other had any intention of going through with this spontaneous idea while attempting to gauge eachother's "do-or-do-not-want-o-meters."
After a couple moments of silence, Luna looked up to see if Nightmare was actually going to go through with the dare, but seeing that she had yet to make any sort of motion towards the admittedly attractive Changeling, she started to open her mouth to declare Nightmare out of the game...but then it happened.
"Oh, get over here you sexy beast!"
Luna's jaw dropped to the floor when Chrysalis struck a lewd pose, grinning slyly at Miss Moon who, much to the little princess's shock, returned the mischievous smile before up and pouncing her consenting prey.
Luna could only watch, dumbfounded, as lips met lips, horns rubbed, appendages and wings tangled and flailed, and throats were viciously violated by unnaturally long tongues...at least, to her anyway. Being a changeling or a being created by dark magic had it's advantages, she supposed.
She only asked for a kiss, yet before her a scene unfolded as though right out of one of those sites she happened to stumble upon where ponies—and dragons, and dogs, and griffons—would upload their most unbecoming of videos. As time moved on, things became more and more heated—one of which includes Luna herself, stars popping like balloons all throughout her mane. I mean, she didn't even think a horn would ever GO THERE, let alone even touched by another!
And then the little blue goddess snapped her head up, eeping with surprise, to see Nightmare grudgingly plant a quick and very resentful peck of a kiss on the obviously disinterested Queen.
"There, you got your kiss." she spat angrily at the small Alicorn before grabbing the bottle and swiftly chugging the whole thing, "My turn."
Celestia and Discord both stared at Luna suspiciously while the flustered mare looked at her hooves with wide eyes, practically every part of her mane steaming while her face burned beat red.
No pony—neigh—no being, be it physical, spiritual, or even inanimate, shall know of what just transpired within the seclusive mind of the Princess of the Night...well, hopefully anyway.
So, as one would assume, the five masters of Space, Time, and apparently Teenager Stupidity, soon found themselves drunk off their asses, for lack of a better word...
Of course, being as old as they are, and having bodies (with immune systems) as powerful as they have, it took quite a long time for anyone to even start to feel even the slightest bit tipsy. This being so, hours later...after about 200 bottles—each—later...
"I-I'm sowwy, whath wurz sat?"
Chrysalis, being the only one present to not have alcohol constantly presented to her, fell into full-on "TAKE ME DRUNK, I'M HOME" mode, while everyone else was, more or less, generally okay.
"I said truth, you smashed insect..." Nightmare grumble angrily for the fith time, "Truth! T.R.U.T.H.! Truth!"
Indeed, it was very evident that the normally composed and very pompous Queen had been reduced to a pile of blubbering (and possibly hallucinating) goo in a black exoskeleton.
"Oh!-*hic!* Then ssshhhhhy didn't you sssshhhhay ssshhhoooo?" she asked, slurring her S's to an unprecedented length while giggling madly and waving a shaky, hole-riddled hoof at Luna for some reason. (who, might I add, inched away with a look of terror to challenge that of a filly during Nightmare Night).
Perhaps that fantasy of hers earlier doesn't seem so attractive anymore...
Nightmare's eyes flared bright blue for a moment, her starry mane—bearing very evident similarities to Luna's—sparking as stars within it broiled and popped, "Ask me, now, please..." she uttered through clenched teeth
Chrysalis put a hoof to her chin to think thoughtful thoughts thoroughly through in deep thinking thought...sorry, too much?
After quite some time, in which she accidentally morphed into Cadence again, except with her right wing still resembling that of a bug, her left eye still green and filled with drunken evil, and her hair rainbow...for some reason, the drunken Queen finally asked, "Did y-*hic!* Essacuse me, hehe...Did shooo enjwoy it shwen you kissshhhed me?"
On impulse, Nightmare quickly responded with a very angry and curt, "Of course not!" but then clamped her mouth shut with an audible *snap* as her eyes went wide in shock.
"Well well..." Discord muttered eyeing the frozen, dark Alicorn beside him smugly.
Chrysalis giggled like a bubbly schoolfilly, swaying slightly as the lights in her normally vibrant green eyes seemed to literally flicker.
"Nightmare has lied and, therefor, has lost." Celestia announced, "She will be frozen in her spot until the game is over and we can decide her laws." The pristine sun Goddess looked at her old enemy with a mocking grin, enjoying the fact that Nightmare had been frozen into the exact position of shock and embarrassment she was in when she realized that everyone knew she had lied, 'Fitting.' she thought with an inward chuckle.
"Okay, Chrysalis, spin aga-er...hmm." Upon turning back to Chrysalis, Celestia found that the alcohol had finally gotten to the insect and forced her to pass-out. She was starting to worry that perhaps she had let the Queen indulge a bit too much and that her mind might suffer some slight permanent, or at the least temporary damage...after all, alcohol basically is a poison.
"Should...should we give her some medical attention?" asked Discord, leaning over and peering curiously at Chrysalis's unconscious form. He poked her side, her slumped-over body tilting to the side and teetering close to actually falling over.
"Probably...to be honest." Celestia stated, looking to Luna worriedly before igniting her horn and lifting the Queen to place her on the extravagant bed behind her, "But we cannot involve anypony outside us five until we are done, else we might jeopardize the game and all of Equestria...again." Making sure to set Chrysalis in a comfortable position on the bed, Celestia sighed and shrugged, "For now, this is all we can do. Trust me, she should sleep comfortably for now. It is my bed after all, I would know."
"And then...there were three..." Discord muttered, peering back and forth between the two before him. They were always his enemy, no matter what he did. Even now, he was sure, they were planning on working together to bring him down first. Then after he lost, Luna would throw the win to Celestia and he would be fired to endure another millennium or so in stone...again!
'No,' thought the determined Lord of Chaos, 'This time, I will not lose to you! This time, you will bow to ME!' He glared at Celestia, most of his anger directed toward her rather then Little Luna. He was actually quite fond of the younger Princess, but no one would ever know that...hopefully.
But for now, Discord the Determined flipped on a bright smile and placed a bear paw on the bottle, "So...shall we spin to see who starts, then?"
The Big Three. The Original Three. The Hardy Three...and now the Drunken Three. After nearly twenty four hours—and a couple hundred thousand bottles of beer—since the game began, all that remained of the Five Titans of Equestria were the Alicorn Sisters, and Discord. The most experienced three of the starting five, as well as the most alcohol-hardy, it was a long time after Chrysalis's collapse that all three had finally ended up drunk. Not as smashed as the Queen was, no, but still moderately out there.
The problem now, though, for the three contestants, wasn't just to think of dares and questions that would trip their opponents up, but just to think up ANY dare or question! After so much time, they started to just run out of original things to say...it seemed as though the fate of Equestria was about to rely on who could withstand alcohol the best...
"Woona...errrrugh, I www-mean, Wwlll-Luna!" Discord, clearly having trouble thinking and speaking, pointed to Luna, his next victim, with a sneer, "I, have I got a 'westion fer'you!"
Indeed, the jumbled mind of his did have a question for the little mare who just asked for Truth. Problem was, though, it slipped into the soup which was his thought processes before he could say it.
"Well, ret us hear it then." Luna coerced, clearly handling her alcohol fairly well, at least, compared to Discord anyway.
Giving up on whatever juicy question he had in mind, the Lord of all that is Nonsense sighed and asked, "Rut's your favorite wr-n-number?"
Luna gave Discord a curious and skeptical stare, hesitantly answering, "...Six...sixty nine. Our favorite number is sixty nine."
After a few more moments, in which Luna continued to question the admittedly simple and strangely un-trick question from the most...sly being she had ever known, Celestia urged her sister to move on and spin the bottle again.
And so she did, after drinking it's contents whole, of course.
So it would be that the bottle landed on Celestia, her older sister, whom she looked up to as much, if not more than, Twilight.
But still...the babying, the teasing, the manipulating, and even the banishment...The Mistress of the Night had a plan this time to win and teach her older sister a lesson, even if she didn't want to learn.
But that would wait, Discord had to go first, so, with a simple nod, she asked the Sun Goddess, "Truth or Dare?"
"Dare, darling."
"Break the fourth wall."
Wait, what? Oh shi-nonono! Ah! Celestia!? C'mon! Get out of the Writing Room! Seriously, only Pinkie can be in here! What? Yes! I know what Luna Dared you, but!- ...But you!- ...fiiiiiiine, but make it quick. Everyone, put your hands and hoofs up for Celestia...here *muffled noises*-ake the Mic...ah, I'll- *more shuffling and muffled sounds* There, good to go, just talk.
I can? Okay, thank you...your sharp-toothed friend isn't in here, is she?...no? Good...anyway. My sister dared me to break the fourth wall, so...Hi.
...
......
.........
*shuffling noises and static* Okay...thanks Celestia...bye now, I guess...well that was awkward.
Celestia teleported back into her room to her awaiting sister and Arch Nemesis, her expression proud and high.
"Done." she lifted the bottle and chugged it down quickly, "My turn."
Spinning the bottle, she grinned as the tip pointed to Discord. While making her way through the fourth wall, she recalled something which Discord had done so long ago that she was sure even Luna had no recollection of it...and this would be how she was to bring her Nemesis to his knees.
All she needed was a dare.
Discord, after taking a few moments to question Celestia's curious grin, stated his game, "Dare."
Celestia's grin grew wider, almost splitting the Goddess's face.
Discord's frown fell further than it had ever been through all of his existence.
Luna's eyes looked between the two with more confusion than she had ever known.
"Drink Strawberry Milk."
A resounding gasp of horror from Little Luna filled the air within the sealed room as Discord nearly started to cry and Celestia'a grin grew into a full-on, mocking smile.
"Sister!? How could you be so cruel!? Ho-wait...wait, wha?" Luna shook her head and stared off into space, her brow furrowed in extreme confusion, "Explain to us, please, why this is such a terrible dare?" The blue Alicorn racked her brain for any reason as to why Strawberry Milk would cause any kind of displeasure to Discord, Lord of all that is Milk and Chocolatey. Surely a simple change to Strawberry wouldn't do him any harm...right?
"I hate you." was all Discord muttered before he was frozen in place, the Game determining that he was unwilling to partake in the dare.
"What...WHAT?" Luna gaped at the frozen draconequus, his arms crossed and his face clearly stuck in the same seething scowl he had when Celestia proclaimed his dare, "What...?"
"It is...something for another time, dear." Celestia stated, laughing a little at Discord, "Now, I believe you have something to say?"
Luna thought quietly for a couple moments, putting the Strawberry Milk in the back of her mind for later, then stated, "Truth, sister."
Celestia nodded, "Of course."
The same scene as in the previous game, and ever game before that, started to unfold. Luna asked for a Truth, Celestia asked The Question, and Luna responded with an obvious lie...but this time, Luna had decided that she would tell the truth, even if it hurt her sister.
Even if it hurt herself.
"Little Lulu, what is your deepest, darkest, most sought after desire?"
Pausing to taking a deep breath, Luna brought her rehearsed answer into place. This was the moment, she would not waver, and she would beat her sister at—literally—her own game.
With a straight face, a somewhat monotone voice, and a will of steel, the cold hard Truth was delivered.
"We desire to collect all of the following—You, Discord, Chrysalis, Twilight, Cadenza, Shining Armor, Rarity, Trixie—the Great and Powerful—, and Nightmare, and of, of course, Ourselves—for participation in one very private, and very, very..." she paused for a moment, searching for the proper word, "steamy, Royal orgy."
Celestia, was wide eyed and shocked, frozen as her mind processed her little, innocent sister's words...and then.
"Pfff-waaah! Hahahaaa! Oh Luna! Such a ridiculous lie! The most interesting I have heard from you yet! Really, where did you think of that?"
Celestia was answered with nothing, not even a change in expression, save for a cold blink of the eyes from the Goddess of the Moon.
"Luna...? Where did you get that lie?" Celestia asked worriedly.
Luna's pokerface put card masters to shame.
"You..." Celestia couldn't say anything else. Her mind was too busy imploding to put forth proper speech as Luna downed the bottle.
"Truth or Dare, sister." she urged coldly.
After some minutes, Celestia answered with a meek, "Truth..."
"What do you think of Our previous answer?" Luna asked darkly, raising an eyebrow expectantly.
"It...I..." Celestia grappled with her words, trying to fight conflicting morals and urges, until eventually, "I think that you have a very...ambitious and...great goal, d-dear."
By the twitch of her sister's eye, Luna knew that, finally, she told a...
"Lie."
Celestia froze in place with an awkward face full of fear, anxiety, and mock pleasure. Clearly, she thought Luna's goal was anything but "great."
Luna grabbed the bottle and grinned at her distorted reflection off of the glass surface, "Truly, the fun will be multiplied...tenfold!"
Then she drank cheers to herself.
