Reign of Frogs! A collection of short tales

It was warm out. The sun was shining, though there were a few clouds up there. I was sitting by the old, empty cracker barrel on the boardwalk in front of Clance’s store in the village of Tailswitch. Well, trying to sit, anyway.

Clance was nice enough to put out both checker and chess sets on a small shelf by the barrel. There was a checker board on top of the barrel. There were only two flies in the ointment of my day.

First, of course, was the simple fact that a pony with a wooden foreleg has just about zero chance of ever finding a comfortable way to sit to play checkers. My somewhat grizzled brown coat has way too many scars. There is a tale behind each one, too. Comes of being an Adventurer. I even met the famous Daring Do on several occasions. Nice mare. Not stuck up at all.

To use the pegasus expression for it, she flies with her own wings. Darn clever, too. Don’t really know if the rumors that she is the daughter of the infamous and never caught thief, Carmen Pondiego, is true or not. If it is, her ability to find almost any antique treasure is well explained.

The other fly in my day’s ointment was starting to show up. Colts and fillies.

Carter and I were trying to ignore them as we set out our checkers. We were going to play for the Champeenship of the Entire World, so to speak. Carter and I take our checkers seriously.

It was a shy little filly that fired to opening shot of the question barrage. She pointed to one of my bigger scars and asked softly, “Mister Wildun, what happened to make that?”

Even Carter looked up from the checker board. Takes a powerful lot to make THAT happen. “Yes, Wildun, how did that one happen? Don’t recall you mentioning that one before.”

There was a sea of young ponies faces looking on. I grumped, “Dratted foolishness. Was down in the jungle near to the Unknown River. Yes, that is its name. I was looking for the temple of Shoorush, rumored to be there. I was clearing brush and forgot to look UP.

“Blasted tree snake about as big around as your neck, young filly, grabbed me and started to haul me up where it could get coils around me and crush me to death. Lucky for me that a pony’s skin is loose and the snake’s teeth were sharp. My hide tore out of his grip and I fell back down.

“No great adventure. Just carelessness. If you are in a jungle, always check EVERYTHING before you take any step.”

The flood gates opened! Even Carter joined in. Maybe I should apply to the Adventures Guild for a different retirement village!

It had to happen. They were all staring at my wooden leg. Even Carter. They have asked me before. I always tell them to mind their own business. They never do.

Carter unwisely joined the chorus of, “How did you lose your foreleg, Mister Wildun?”

I ground my teeth in frustration. Glaring at the lot of them, Carter included, I growled, “All right! I will tell you how I lost my darn foreleg!”

I gestured to the lot of them, Carter included, with my good foreleg. “Just ONE condition. If I tell you, you must NEVER ask me another question about it! Promise?”

Little ponies looked at one another in consternation. Carter even gave it sour consideration. He nodded. “You got it Wildun. Not another question about your leg if you tell me.”

Reluctantly, curiosity getting the better of them, the colts and fillies all agreed.

“OK! I am going to tell you what happened to my leg. But not another question about it, EVER.

“IT WAS BIT OFF!”

~THE END~