Shoot the Messenger

by Third Wave

Rating: everyone
Tags: Other, Slice of Life, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 7426

Yakyakistan has a problem, and that problem's name is Prince Rutherford. But how do you deal with a problematic prince? This story is a prequel to Party Pooped.

Yakyakistan has a problem, and that problem's name is Prince Rutherford. But how do you deal with a problematic prince?

This story is a prequel to Party Pooped.

Published 2016-03-03 13:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-03 13:10:01 UTC

Shoot the Messenger

Grand Prince Ussuri paced the great hall, mumbling to himself. Each rough hoofstep on the floor echoed around the cavernous stone room of the Yakyakistan royal palace. Amur stood next to the throne dutifully. He alone was present to bear the Grand Prince’s temper. He alone was the only yak Ussuri could trust to advise him in this most delicate of situations. Ussuri paced the width of the great hall several times before stopping in front of the throne. He sighed and turned to Amur. “I have made up my mind. As much as I hate to do this to my own family, Rutherford is a blight upon the Bohr family name.”

Amur frowned. “I understand, your grace. Your legacy and honor is at stake. If you like, I could arrange an accusation of treason against Rutherford. After some of his latest antics, I doubt the court or the populace would doubt them much.”

Ussuri shook his head vigorously causing the fur around his head and neck to sway and partially cover his face. “No, I refuse to resort to execution. I will not stoop to the level of my ancestors.”

“But your grace, your ancestors united Yakyakistan in the first place-”

Ussuri held up a hoof to silence Amur. He gazed above the throne. Great banners of the five original yak tribes hung on the wall behind the throne. “I wiall not be a murderer like Ogodei. He may have done what he had to in those days to bring us under one nation, but his brutal acts still weigh on my conscience every day.”

Amur sat down on the cushion beneath him as Ussuri heaved himself up to the throne. “What about exile?”

Ussuri was silent for a moment. “Possibly. Could we manufacture a cause enough to banish Rutherford?”

“We might not have to,” Amur said, his deep set eyes shimmering like beads beneath tufts of brown fur. “If we send Prince Rutherford on a diplomatic mission, there is a chance he might not return.” Amur’s lip curled into a wry smile and he looked at his liege. Ussuri stared at his adviser as comprehension dawned on the Grand Prince.

“I see. But where? What cursed country is far enough away but would risk the repercussions of not sending an emissary home.”

Amur reached into the thick fur on his right side with a hoof and pulled out a paper scroll. He unfurled it on the floor in front of him so that both he and the Grand Prince could see it. Yakyakistan covered the top center of the map nestled in the northern reaches of the Crystal Mountains. Amur pointed to a spot on the southern edge of the scroll. It was marked with a tall, triangular peak rising up out of a wide plain and a sun symbol. “Where is that place?” Ussuri asked as he looked closer at the map. It lay far beyond the borders of the Crystal Empire and even Ussuri had no knowledge of where Amur wanted to send Prince Rutherford to.

“That, your grace, is Equestria.” Amur said in a slightly hushed tone. The country’s name slithered around the hall in the pause after Amur finished. “They have quite a reputation from what information I’ve gathered coming out of the Crystal Empire.”

The Grand Prince raised an eyebrow. “What sort of reputation?”

Amur turned to the Grand Prince. “The ruler, a Princess Celestia, is said to control the motions of the Sun and Moon. I have no proof of this myself, but if she does, it would be a great benefit to Yakyakistan to gain some relationship with Equestria even if we send Prince Rutherford or not.”

Ussuri gave a gruff snort. “If diplomatic ties were the heart of the matter, I would not be sending Rutherford.” The Grand Prince spat his son’s name at the ground. “What reputation makes you think we should send my son.”

“I was getting to that.” Amur’s tone was level and respectful, but his eyes momentarily glared at the Grand Prince from their burrows. “Do you recall when the Crystal Empire was restored last year, and the civil war that befell them shortly afterward?” Ussuri nodded. The Grand Prince had taken the wise decision to not interfere in pony politics. Any involvement in the delicate matter of the sudden appearance of an empire and a conflict just to their south could have jeopardized the yaks’ long term future as an independent nation.

“We received reports from beyond the mountains that the overthrow of Sombra and the ascension of Princess Cadenza to the throne of the Crystal Empire was aided by forces loyal to Equestria. Furthermore, this Cadenza is married to a Prince Shining Armor, captain of the Equestrian royal guard!” Amur stabbed a hoof at the map where the sun symbol was. “As soon as the Crystal Empire appeared, Celestia took swift action to invade the Crystal Empire, overthrow the legitimate ruler, and install an Equestrian puppet to ensure their dominance of the continent!”

Ussuri stared at the map and rubbed his chin with a hoof. The sudden appearance of the Crystal Empire had made waves through Yakyakistan. The just as sudden regime change in the empire had caused even more murmurs of discontent and worry among the nobility, Ussuri recalled. The Crystal Empire’s expansion in the frozen north had prompted heavy discussion among his council on whether to end the splendid isolation Yakyakistan had preserved for centuries in its remote corner of the world. Ussuri had made the decision - against the desires of many in his court - to send an emissary to the Crystal Empire years ago. However, the emissary returned to report the Crystal Empire being blocked by a great magic dome and that she was unable to even enter the empire. That had calmed the council and Ussuri for the time being. At least the Crystal Empire did not appear to be aggressive and no immediate diplomacy needed to occur. However, this new princess Cadenza seemed unpredictable. However, now that it was evident that Cadenza made policy at the direction of this Princess Celestia and Equestria… that was a far more complex matter.

Ussuri stared at the sun symbol on the map. “What do we know of this Princess Celestia?”

Amur thought for a moment. “Aside from her involvement in the Crystal Empire’s coup? A few of our sources in the Crystal Empire say that the country of Equestria used to be a diarchy with two princesses ruling side by side. They say it was Princess Celestia and her sister. But the rule ended up being unequal in Celestia’s favor, and when the younger sister questioned Celestia on her role in the country’s governance, Celestia flew into a rage and imprisoned her for a thousand years.” Amur gazed out at the far end of the room. “Can you believe that, Ussuri? Banishment just for daring to ask for a greater role in the running of a government.”

Ussuri raised an eyebrow. “Wait, did you say a thousand years?”

“Yes, your grace.”

“Celestia has lived for that long?”

“Supposedly,” Amur shrugged. “Perhaps it is just an embellishment.”

Ussuri furrowed his brow. “We cannot take that chance. If we do not want to get on the wrong side of an ancient ruler, we may have to tread carefully” Celestia was an unknown quantity. The yaks knew little of Equestria, and this information of Celestia’s iron-hooved rule alarmed Ussuri. “Does the council know of this situation between Equestria and the Crystal Empire?” Ussuri asked quickly.

“No, my liege, not yet.” Amur reassured the Grand Prince.

Ussuri stared out at the large double doors on the far side of the hall. Somewhere out there, Prince Rutherford was likely raising Tartarus with whichever unlucky member of the court staff had crossed him this time. Ussuri shuddered. A troubling thought crossed his mind. “Can we even afford to send Rutherford to Equestria?” If Celestia was indeed as terrible as Amur said she was, then diplomacy might be even more important than ridding himself of Prince Rutherford. “I will not have my reign be remembered for bringing the wrath of a country I’ve just heard of down upon Yakyakistan. Ending Rutherford’s brattish behavior is not worth the kingdom’s destruction.”

Amur rolled up the map and placed it back in the depths of his fur. The adviser stepped out from his position at Ussuri’s side and faced the Grand Prince. “I assure you, your grace. Yakyakistan is of no importance to Equestria. The ponies there will not be concerned by a small offense from Rutherford to their nation and we can always send another more proper delegation afterward once the damage to the Prince has been done to heal any wounds Rutherford has caused between our nations.”

“I don’t know…” Ussuri let the words hang for a few moments as he considered the proposition. Before he could come to a final decision, he was interrupted by a loud knock on the door of the great hall.

“Your grace?” It was a higher pitched voice. One of the lesser court staff most likely.

Ussuri lifted himself from his throne and lumbered down the steps. He called out to the door in a booming voice. “Come in!”

The door opened and a yak in a dark blue uniform stepped inside the hall. He was attempting to hold a noble posture for his audience with the Grand Prince, but the yak was shifting his hooves as he stood silent. He glanced at Amur and back to Ussuri before he cleared his throat. “We have a situation with Prince Rutherford.”

The Grand Prince sighed. “What did Rutherford do now?” A headache was already returning at the mere mention of Rutherford’s name.

The yak guard relaxed, his large shoulders visibly drooping He walked toward Ussuri and stopped a few yards from the Grand Prince. “Rutherford is complaining about the conditions of his dungeon cell.”

“His conditions?” Ussuri raised an eyebrow. Amur shrugged when Ussuri looked at his adviser.

“Rutherford says the cell is far too dark for his royal visage and that he wants better furnishings for his cell. That they’re not,” the guard gulped as he formed the next word in his mind, “perfect.”

Ussuri grimaced. Memories of Rutherford’s childhood came flooding back to him. When the Prince was six, Ussuri took Rutherford as his ward in order to educate his heir more properly in how to run Yakyakistan. Rutherford cared little for his teachings and from an early age remarked constantly about how everything was not perfect. Ussuri remembered a particular instance when Rutherford noticed a cherry on a cupcake in the royal kitchens was not perfectly balanced on the center of the treat’s swirled pink frosting.

Rutherford narrowed his eyes and examined the cupcake closely. The stem of the cherry tilted to his left. As he sniffed the cupcake, the cherry listed a millimeter to the left. Rutherford immediately growled and stood up. The royal chef smiled eagerly, leaning forward slightly in anticipation of Rutherford’s response. Carex had earned the position of royal chef of Yakyakistan after a grueling contest to make the perfect yak gruel and he quickly became renowned as the best chef in Yakyakistan. Carex’s reputation had preceded him clearly. When Rutherford asked for a cherry and water chestnut cupcake to celebrate his fourteenth birthday, Carex had happily obliged.

Rutherford frowned. “This cupcake is not perfect and not fit for myself as Yakyakistan royalty! You besmirch the name of Yakyakistan and the Bohr dynasty!” Rutherford swept a hoof across the table and in one motion sent the plate and cupcake flying. The cupcake flew through the air and smacked Carex right on the snout. The plate dinged off of one of Carex’s horns and crashed into the wall behind Carex. “You will leave now on my decree or I shall have you run out of Yakyakistan forever!” Rutherford bellowed. Carex’s smile faded and he backed away with impressive speed for as large a creature as a yak. Rutherford nearly flew into a rage. The Prince only calmed down after flipping the table with a thrust of his head and sending it splintering into the stone wall. The sound of Carex sobbing and thundering out of the great hall could be heard around the principality.

Ussuri had scolded Rutherford for his actions and informed Carex the next day that he could retain his post as Yakyakistan’s royal chef, but no amount of scolding had been able to break Rutherford’s temper. Any time the Prince deemed something not perfect or “unfit for a dung beetle let alone Yakyakistan royalty,” he would fly into a near uncontrollable rage and flail about at anything or any yak nearby.

“Um, your grace?” Ussuri’s thoughts were broken by the voice of Amur and another boom resonating around the great hall.

“Yes, Amur?”

“We should get down to the dungeons before Rutherford does any damage to the structural integrity of the great hall.”

Ussuri let out a long, deep sigh. “Let’s go,” he said, not bothering to hide his dejection at having to again confront an angry Rutherford. The possibility of sending Rutherford far far away had just become much more appealing.

***

Ussuri, Amur, and the guard hurried down the stairs to the dungeons of the Yakyakistan palace All the while, the sounds of banging were getting louder. The three exited the spiral staircase into the main corridor of the dungeon greeted by a rumbling crash reverberating around the hallways. Specks of granite dust briefly fell from the ceiling onto their heads. Ussuri shook his head to get the dust off his fur and grunted. He bellowed, “Come on, we need to find that musk-brained little brat!” and began charging down the main corridor.

Amur and the guard ran after Ussuri, but the Grand Prince already careened around the corner at the end of the main corridor by the time they were halfway. They looked at each other briefly, unsure of where Ussuri had gone. A loud deep yell suddenly echoed from the left. “Window not peeeerfeeect!” tumbled down the hallway.

“That’ll be Rutherford,” the guard said as Amur’s eyes went wide as the sound nearly punctured his eardrums. The guard ran off toward Rutherford’s voice. Amur stood motionless for a second and blinked. Normally Rutherford’s biggest tantrums were only as powerful as a yak stampede. That was more like an avalanche. Amur noticed the guard running off and regained his composure. chasing quickly after.

Amur rounded another corner after the guard to come eyes first into the rear end of the guard. Amur skidded to a stop, his horns barely avoiding poking the guard in the rump. Amur sidled up next to the guard and watched the scene before him.

Two yaks, one slightly larger than the other, stood, horns locked, and were attempting to shove each other into the stone wall. The smaller yak had two large golden rings on each of his horns. One of those rings was set with rubies around it. He was in the doorway of what appeared to have once been jail cell. Now, however, it looked as if a tornado had been in it and was thrown out for being too neat. The bed sheets were torn and on the floor. The bed itself was broken into four pieces with splinters of wood and straw strewn everywhere. There was a large dent in the wall below the small high window shaped like the head of a yak. Similar dents could be seen on the wall above the remnants of the bed, on the floor, and somehow, on the ceiling. The iron bars of the cell were bent or broken outward. The smaller yak was emitting a constant loud growl and gritting his teeth as he pushed against his father’s head.

Ussuri, meanwhile, was returning the growl with equal fervor. His bulk managed to block the entire corridor. At least Ussuri prevented Rutherford from continuing his rampage on the rest of the dungeon or other parts of the palace.

The guard and Amur stood and watched Ussuri and Rutherford grapple with each other, horns locked, for a two minutes. “Should we help Ussuri?” Amur asked, turning his head slightly so the guard was just in his field of view.

“Oh, uh, yes.” The guard stepped forward and locked his left horn into Rutherford’s own left horn. With a heavy push, the guard and Ussuri finally made progress. Rutherford’s feet dragged slowly backward as the Prince slid back into his cell. When the two yaks ground Rutherford back enough for Amur to get on the other side of Ussuri, Amur joined them. The three yaks at last pushed Rutherford back into the cell. The Prince tripped over a beam from the broken bed and collapsed. “Oof,” the Prince said gruffly as his bottom hit the floor. The low rumble echoing throughout the dungeon finally ceased and Rutherford sat there, breathing heavily.

Ussuri stood over his son, frowning. “What is the meaning of this!” He said sternly.

“This bedchamber is not fitting Our needs as Yakyakistan nobility! The bed is hardly using the finest straw for the mattress, and these walls are not decorated with the banners of Our lineage!” Ussuri winced each time Rutherford used the word Our. He was not sure if Rutherford was trying to include Ussuri in the supposed shame on the Bohr dynasty or if he was using the Royal We.

Either way, it was out of line and only made Ussuri more exasperated. Ussuri sighed and shook his head. “That is because you are in a dungeon, you idiot! I sent you here to learn a lesson!”

Rutherford stood up again and stamped a hoof. “That is still no reason for my furnishings to be so barren!” The Prince pouted. The pout soon morphed into a scowl and the low rumble of Rutherford’s growl started welling up again.

Ussuri backed up a step quickly as Rutherford was starting yet another rampage. He needed to quell this, and fast. Inwardly, Ussuri actually smiled. There was no better time to implement the plan, and after this latest fight Ussuri was more assured of what had to be done than ever.

“Rutherford,” Ussuri said with as even a voice as he could muster, “how would you like a job to do? One that I feel would be fitting of your royal station.” Even Ussuri could not resist a sly smile. “It is my opinion that you would be the perfect yak for this job.” Rutherford’s ears perked up and the growling suddenly stopped.

The offer of an important position within the court calmed Rutherford’s anger for a few days. Ussuri still had reservations about sending Rutherford away. “Are you sure we can’t just stick him in a hole somewhere?”

“An oubliette?” Amur looked up from reviewing the schedule for the day’s court. The official announcement of the Yakyakistan mission to Equestria and Rutherford’s departure was tomorrow, and Amur was still waiting for the return of the unofficial delegation to the Crystal Empire that arranged the proceedings. “Are you sure, your grace?” Amur tapped the quill in his hoof against his cheek in thought. “I suppose it could still be arranged. When Anadyr and her entourage return from the Crystal Empire, it should not be too much trouble to send them back with the news of the cancellation.” Amur scanned the day’s court and scratched a brief note onto the parchment. “Some of the nobility not react well to this though.”

“Oh?” Ussuri grunted, raising a bushy eyebrow. “I thought the entire nobility hated Rutherford.”

“Oh don’t worry Ussuri, they do.” Amur put the parchment down and pulled out another scroll. He unrolled it and skimmed through a list of names of prominent members of the Yakyakistan aristocracy. “However, the Selenga and Sakha clans in the south would be very disappointed at squandering the opportunity to open trade relations with the Crystal Empire. Any routes between our two nations would naturally have to pass through their lands.”

“I see,” Ussuri nodded. “We can always reopen diplomatic ties with another delegation though.”

“That’s possible, but there’s also the matter of an oubliette not being decisive enough action for much of the other councillors.”

“And what problem would they have with my son rotting away in a hole?”

Amur’s voice remained flat as he answered Ussuri’s question. “Rutherford would still be in Yakyakistan.”

Ussuri harrumphed. “They make a good argument.” Amur nodded in agreement. “What’s next on the agenda? I want to get through as much of today’s business as possible before Anadyr returns with her report.” Ussuri hoped it didn’t involve having Rutherford attend court.

Amur glanced at the parchment with the day’s events. “That guard who helped subdue Rutherford in his cell is here to receive his Hero of the Yaks medal, and then you have a lunch with the Boyar of the Northern Wastes.”

“Thank you, Amur. Send the guard in. He has done a great service to Yakyakistan and I don’t want to keep him waiting.” Ussuri straightened his posture as the guard walked smartly up to the throne.

***

Anadyr, head of the Kolyma clan, slowly walked up the concentric granite staircase that led up to the great hall. Her journey had been arduous and she and her companions were glad to return home. The Kolyma clan’s homeland was just south of the Yakyakistan capital. Due to their closeness to the capital and being one of the few tribes to submit willingly to the Bohr dynasty in the original unification of Yakyakistan, the Kolymas held a significant amount of influence within Yakyakistani politics. This was one of the reasons why Ussuri selected her as the liaison to the Crystal Empire to arrange the diplomatic mission to Equestria.

Anadyr took a deep breath to calm her nerves as she stepped up to the great wooden doors of the hall. Slowly, she pushed with her bulk and opened the heavy door inward. Amur and Ussuri were standing at the throne as usual, speaking with two other yaks adorned with powder blue rings around their horns. Ussuri looked up when he heard the door open. He caught Anadyr’s eye as she respectfully waited at the far end of the great hall for the Grand Prince to permit her an audience.

Muttering echoed from the yaks, and Anadyr strained to make out what they were saying. However, it was too incoherent to understand anything. After a minute, the voices of the yaks with the blue horn rings rose to a level she could hear. “But your majesty, if this matter is not dealt with quickly, the encroachment of the frost could ruin the fields forever!” Ussuri raised a hoof to silence their protests.

“I apologize, but I have much more urgent matters to attend to at the moment.” Ussuri brought his hoof down as the yaks in front of him quieted. “If you would remain in the village we can discuss this again perhaps in a few days, but at the moment I must turn my attention elsewhere.”

The yaks bowed to the Grand Prince and turned to walk away. They glared at Anadyr as they passed her out of the great hall. Anadyr heard a low whispering conversation strike up between the two after they passed through the doors of the hall.

“You may come forward, Anadyr. I’m eager to hear your findings on Equestria.” Ussuri sounded more tense than usual. Anadyr walked the length of the hall until she was standing where the two yaks were standing moments ago. Ussuri did not speak again but kept his steady gaze on her until she stopped in front of the throne. “What have you found about Equestria?”

Anadyr straightened and lifted herself up to her full height. “Your majesty.” She spoke in a clear and unbroken tone befitting a clan leader. “The government of the Crystal Empire tells me that there is a new princess in Equestria and that it might be best if Prince Rutherford were to conduct diplomatic efforts through her. She is supposedly the Princess of Friendship, and is quite well educated on non-pony foreign cultures.”

Amur’s ears perked up. Before Ussuri could respond to Anadyr, Amur interjected. “A new princess? This is a startling development. Did they tell you the name of this princess by any chance?”

Anadyr nodded, a smile creeping onto her face. Her eyes flickered to Amur but she returned her gaze to the Grand Prince before answering “Yes. This new princess is called Twilight Sparkle.”

Amur rubbed his chin with a hoof and grunted. “I think I’ve heard this name before. If I recall, she was one of the ponies who assisted in overthrowing the previous Crystal Empire government.”

“Yes, that’s correct based on what I heard from the Crystal Empire’s officials.” Anadyr’s posture slowly relaxed as she continued talking. “They also said that this Twilight Sparkle has managed to tame a dragon. Apparently the dragon was vital in claiming the Crystal Empire for Princess Cadenza.”

Ussuri raised an eyebrow. “Tamed a dragon?” He turned to Amur. “Why have I heard nothing of this!” Amur spotted the whites of Ussuri’s eyes through the tuft of fur on his forehead, and there was a tinge of anger in the Grand Prince’s voice. Anadyr’s smile grew wider as she considered how providing this new information would help her gain favor in the court and advance her position.

“I admit my sources on Equestria may be out of date, your grace,” Amur said quickly, “But this does nothing to hinder our plans.”

“One other thing,” Anadyr said. Her smile faded and her brow furrowed. “Her brother is the husband of Princess Cadenza.”

“So is Twilight Sparkle a princess by lineage or marriage then? I expect she comes from nobility if this is true.” Ussuri asked.

“Neither,” Anadyr shook her head. “It appears that Twilight Sparkle has been given the title of Princess, but as of yet has no kingdom or land outside a small village in central Equestria.”

Ussuri nodded slowly. “I see. Likely to stay close to the Equestrian court then.”

“This may put a wrench in our ultimate plans,” Amur frowned. Ussuri and even Anadyr turned toward Amur. Their faces were flush with expectation as the adviser thought through his next words. “Cadenza received her present realm through right of conquest. With Twilight’s brother already landed by marriage, this Twilight Sparkle will no doubt be eager for land of her own to govern. If she has as much favor with Celestia as I believe she does, then Celestia could be swayed to launch yet another war to ensure Princess Twilight Sparkle gets her own kingdom as well. With this in mind, we may want to consider antagonizing the Equestrians at present, your majesty.”

Anadyr raised an eyebrow. “Antagonize? I thought this was a mission to establish good relations with the Equestrians.”

Ussuri threw his head back and broke into a bout of hearty laughter. “If we were doing that, we would not send Rutherford.” Amur eyed the Grand Prince warily. It might not be wise to let Anadyr in on their plot. Ussuri caught Amur’s glance in the corner of his vision and waved it away with a hoof. “Don’t worry, Amur, she is not on good terms with Rutherford either.”

Anadyr snorted involuntarily and quickly covered her mouth and nose with a hoof at her less than noble action in front of the Grand Prince. She quickly regained her proper composure. Her confidence rebounded when the Grand Prince smiled softly at her. “Is any yak on good terms with Prince Rutherford?” Ussuri let out a low laugh at her sarcastic remark.

“I should think not, dear Anadyr. That is why we are to send him away. Hopefully,” his eyes shone at the same time with both sorrow and anticipation, “he will anger whoever he meets in Equestria such that they will not return him.”

Anadyr stepped back at the sudden statement. However, a smile returned to her lips as the idea resonated for several seconds. “And the blame does not fall upon your shoulders. Well played, your majesty. Anadyr’s smile grew to a grin that revealed a row of white teeth. “I am glad I am able to be part of Rutherford’s hopeful demise. Please inform me if I may assist you further in any way.”

“Wonderful!” Ussuri beamed. A glint shone briefly in his eye as the Grand Prince continued. “Now then, the plan is to-”

A loud cough from Ussuri’s right cut him off. Ussuri turned his head to glare at Amur. Amur only smiled patiently at the Grand Prince before he stepped forward to properly address Anadyr. “I apologize, Lady Anadyr, but I have a few questions before we move on. Why exactly are you so eager to join this plot? You don’t seem to have anything to gain from it, hm? I understand the general dislike for Prince Rutherford among the nobility, but that cannot be your only motivation.” Amur cocked his head and eyed Anadyr sidelong.

Anadyr lowered her head slightly in reverence to the Grand Prince. The Grand Prince returned the gesture to permit her to address Amur directly. She returned Amur’s steadfast gaze with her own. Each attempted to make the other give way and reveal their hidden motivations. They remained silent for several seconds. Ussuri glanced from Amur to Anadyr and back. He began to worry the two would start butting heads in a more literal fashion and wondered whether he should intervene. At last, Anadyr spoke, still matching Amur’s gaze.

“If you must know, I’ve had to deal with manure from men like Rutherford since I was a calf. You may not remember this, your Lordship, for it was when you were just a babe, but being the first born of Chukot Kolyma was apparently not enough for me to claim the leadership of the Kolyma clan.” Amur flicked an ear in consternation at the attack at his relative youth. “I had to fight my younger brothers to take my rightful place as the chosen successor of Lord Chukot after his death. Those brats expected me to just roll over and not fight to fulfill my father’s last wish simply because they were blessed to be born with a pair of Crystal Mountain oysters between their hindquarters.”

Anadyr took a step forward. Amur stumbled back into his position beside of Ussuri’s throne. Instinctively, he tucked his tail between his hind legs “I had to use all of my cunning to wrest the title of Chief of the Kolyma clan from my ungrateful brothers. They were just content to sit on their silken cushions and let their fur grow matted unless someone else would groom them. They cared nothing for the fortunes of the lands they sought to rule over.” A fire grew in Anadyr’s eyes as her voice escalated like an incoming storm.

As quickly as the storm arrived, so too did it recede. Anadyr averted her gaze downward to the floor beneath them and dug at the stone floor with a hoof. “I do not envy your decision, your grace.” She was speaking almost at a whisper now. Ussuri and Amur had to strain to hear her voice muffled by the fur that now draped over her downcast head. “I may have won the battle for my right in the end. But it cost me the life of one brother and what little friendship and respect of the other that I had left. If you truly want to go through with this, I shall aid you. But you must understand the sacrifice may be greater than you are willing to bear.”

Ussuri stood from his throne and stepped forward. He placed his right forehoof on Anadyr’s shoulder. She lifted her head up slowly, staring with hidden eyes through her brown fur at the Grand Prince. “I too remember Markovo’s death. I hope his spirit forgives you from wherever it lives in that crevasse.”

Anadyr’s voice returned, but it was still weak. “I pushed him into that crevasse with my own hooves.”

Ussuri took in a sharp breath. “I... “ The Grand Prince was lost for words. “May the Five Tribes forgive you for your cruelty,” he said under his breath.

“Are you sure there is no other way to be rid of Rutherford?” Anadyr was regaining her resolve now. “I remember Markovo’s death every day, but in the end I do not regret it. For the sake of the Kolyma clan and for all under my charge as chief, it had to be done. Brother though he was.”

Ussuri’ let out a deep almost rhythmic sigh. It reminded Anadyr of a manticore’s purr. “Yes. There is no other way. He refuses to obey my authority as either father or Grand Prince, and abuses my citizens while flaunting his royal title. He is ruining his reputation and through that, mine and the legitimacy of my rule over Yakyakistan. You do support me as ruler, don’t you Anadyr?”

Anadyr nodded firmly. “Of course, your grace. You have done this country a great service in your reign.”

“Then we must do what is done to ensure my reign continues unchallenged.” Ussuri stepped back as Anadyr brushed the hairs obscuring her face back behind her horns.

Anadyr recovered her composure and snorted. “I was originally going to come here demanding to know why I was not chosen to lead the diplomatic mission to Equestria. Now I understand, and am glad at my good fortune.” Ussuri chuckled. “I would, however, submit to your grace’s judgement that I be considered for the following mission to reestablish ties between Yakyakistan and Equestria once Rutherford has ruined it.” Anadyr smirked.

Ussuri let out another jovial bellow and grinned. “In exchange for your assistance with instigating Rutherford’s demise, I would have nothing less.”

***

The great hall was packed with yaks standing or milling about, conversing with one another. All the yaks had the horn rings that signified their status as nobility. Guards, identified by their dulled metal helmets and holding spears, were stationed around the hall to do their usual jobs: ensure the civility of the noble court and eavesdrop on the conversations floating around the hall for the Grand Prince and his adviser. The time had finally come for the announcement of the appointment. A low bugle echoed around the hall, bringing the nobles to a hushed quiet.

The cadre of yak clan leaders shuffled to the sides of the hall to create a clear path between the doors and the throne. Ussuri was seated in his usual position with a neutral and slightly bored expression on his face. Only the most observant in the court or those who knew Ussuri’s complete intentions noticed the corners of Ussuri’s lips drifting upward by millimeters. Amur, as he always did when the full court was gathered, stood loyally beside his liege. Amur unfurled a scroll and cleared his throat. The yaks had fully quieted now and the bugle’s resonant echo had ebbed to a low hum.

“The court is now in session. The first matter of importance for this court today is the announcement of dealings with the nation of Equestria to our far south.”

Ussuri stood up as Amur lowered the scroll to look out over the assembled court. “My fellow yaks,” the Grand Prince began. “Traditionally, we have isolated our nation from those around us and in particular the pony nations to our south. However, I feel that with the recent development in the Crystal Empire and with the notice of a new Princess being confirmed in Equestria, we can no longer ensure the safety of our lands through cutting ourselves off from the rest of the world. After great deliberation, I have determined that we must send an envoy to Equestria to meet with this new Princess, Twilight Sparkle, and strike up formal relations between Yakyakistan and Equestria.”

The court erupted in low mutterings. Grand Prince Ussuri let the nobles commiserate and process the announcement for several seconds. He caught Anadyr’s eye. The Kolyma clan leader was standing to Ussuri’s left in the quarter of the hall nearest to the throne. She stood out as one of the few nobles not remarking on the suddenness of this decision. Ussuri held up a hoof to quiet the court. He nodded.

“My liege,” Anadyr stepped forward. Ussuri noticed another yak halfway down the right row take a half step back. His faded pink rings indicated he was leader of one of the northern tribes. Likely he was preparing to object to the decision and would gather some support among his neighboring clans. “Are you certain this is a wise decision? We have no guarantee of these new Crystal Empire leaders honoring their word of mutual recognition of our borders. Would they not perceive our establishment of relations with a nation on their southern border an attempt to contain them and a threat? We should perhaps strengthen relations with the Crystal Empire first before cavorting with their potential enemies.”

Ussuri always knew Anadyr was clever, but her quickness in making the most likely objection to the move was brilliant. Ussuri would be able to appear to placate her fears, and the rest of the nobles who held reservations about ending Yakyakistan’s isolation would either be convinced of Ussuri’s policy or at least deterred from bringing up further objections. That would be needed for when Ussuri announced the surely controversial appointment of Rutherford as the first ambassador to Equestria.

“Clan Leader Anadyr of Kolyma.” Ussuri used her full title to elevate his authority in the matter even further as he spoke in a firm, almost lecturing tone. “I assure you, your concerns are unfounded. The fact finding missions I have authorized to Equestria have returned valuable information about the state of relations between the nations to our south as I am sure you are aware.” Here Ussuri raised an eyebrow, feigning condescension. “The Crystal Empire is in fact heavily aligned with the interests of Equestria already. Their new leadership under Princess Mi Amore Cadenza has secured an alliance with Equestria through marriage of the young Princess to Equestrian nobility. It would be most beneficial for Yakyakistan to establish diplomatic ties with Equestria not only for trade relations, but additionally in order to gain a potential mediator in any conflict with the Crystal Empire. We feel that Cadenza may be more willing to listen to our claims to the lands between them and our current southern borders if we have Equestria backing our claims.”

The leaders of the clans on the southern borders lifted their heads and nodded slowly. Ussuri watched them carefully out of the corner of his eye and smiled. He would certainly need the support of the southern clans if he was to move forward at all on this matter, what with them being most impacted by any foreign mission.

“Hmph!” Anadyr blew a stream of warm air out of her nose. She paused for several seconds, waiting to see if another yak would join her in the protest against the mission. All the yaks had their eyes on Anadyr as she surveyed the gathered clan leaders and other nobles. None stepped forward. “Very well then.” She bowed deeply. “My objections seem to have been met, and I submit fully to your grace’s wise judgement in this matter.”

“Thank you, Anadyr.” The Grand Prince looked out over the assembly again. “Are there any others here who would like to have objections to this proceeding?” Silence greeted the assembled yaks now. “Then it is settled. We shall be sending a diplomatic mission to Equestria shortly. In order to achieve the results of this mission as soon as possible, I have already made the arrangements for who shall be our emissary. They shall depart later today.”

“Who is it, you grace?” A younger yak closer to the hall’s doors stepped forward and raised his head.

Ussuri spoke simply. “The Yakyakistan emissary shall be my eldest son Prince Rutherford. As my current heir, I trust his capability and feel it will be a good introduction to the matters of running Yakyakistan when I am gone.”

The lines of yaks erupted into a shouting, struggling pandemonium. Ussuri and Amur winced as clan leaders shoved each other to gain a more visible position to voice their protest at Ussuri’s selection. It took another ten minutes for Ussuri and Amur to calm the assembled yaks down and for the guards to restore any sort of order in the great hall.

Ussuri raised a hoof for silence once the guards had restrained the nobles. “Quiet, I will not hear any protest of this appointment! Need I remind you that my actions are final and that this body acts in an advisory capacity only! I have made my decision and ensured that all proper precautions are in place.” Anadyr gave Ussuri a meaningful look. “Prince Rutherford will be accompanied by two of my own royal guards. I understand this body’s concern with my son, but I trust them to ensure he does not get out of hand. Additionally, I have already arranged a backup meeting in case things do not go well in Equestria. There are already preliminary plans for a second mission being drawn up no matter the result of this mission. Given her greatly valued concerns about the diplomatic relations between ourselves and the Crystal Empire, I have decided that Anadyr will lead the second mission to the Crystal Empire and Equestria once that can be arranged and once the full results of Rutherford’s liaison with the Equestrians are fully known.”

A look of shock made a wave around the hall. Amur and Anadyr admirably joined the rest of the yak nobility in their slack jaws. “My liege,” Anadyr stuttered, stepping forward. “I do not know what to say. Thank you very much for this honored appointment. I ensure you, I will do everything I can to ensure my mission is a success. Thank you, your grace!” Anadyr bent her head, her horns nearly touching the floor this time. A few yaks grumbled but most refrained from comment or murmured compliments at the Grand Prince’s decision.

“Now then, on to the next business. I trust the remainder of this meeting will be quick, Amur?” Ussuri glanced at his adviser.

Amur looked through his scroll diligently. “Yes, your grace. We do need to get the rest of today’s court matters settled before the sending off of Rutherford this afternoon.”

“Then let’s get to it!” Ussuri commanded. “What is the next item?”

***

Later that day with the sun high above the mountains surrounding the isolated country, large crowds of yaks gathered at the southern gate of Yakyakistan’s capital city. Grand Prince Ussuri stood on a temporary dais with his son and two other yaks beside him. “I am proud,” the Grand Prince bellow over the crowd, “to announce that we are ending our isolation from the outside world. This will be a great day for Yakyakistan as we no longer cower in fear of reaching out to our neighbors and instead embrace them with open hooves.” He turned to looked at Prince Rutherford standing at his side. Rutherford grinned as he looked out on the crowd staring up at him in adoration. “I entrust my eldest son, Prince Rutherford Bohr, to conduct our negotiations with the nation of Equestria and to bring about peaceful and prosperous relations with the ponies of Equestria. May you be blessed in your journey, and may you return with joyous news!”

Ussuri’s smile bared slightly more teeth than he intended. He clapped Rutherfrod on the shoulder, a little harder than he would have in a genuine a good luck gesture. Ussuri whispered into his son’s ear. “Go forth, Rutherford. Do your duty to me and this nation.” Rutherford nodded. The two yaks, father and son, waved at the crowd. A great chorus of horns flared up and echoed around the plaza. Rutherford thrust his chin up as he stepped off the dais with his two fellow emissaries. They walked slowly down the path and out the gate.

Ussuri stared steely eyed at Rutherford’s back as the Prince walked through the southern gate. Ussuri thought to himself. “Go, Rutherford, and don’t come back. For the good of the country, do not return.”