5 weeks, 0 Days, 4 Hours, 32 Minutes and 11 Seconds before the Kiss: The Princess’ Breakfast Hall
“Are you happy, Chrysalis?”
She looked up from her meal in mild surprise, contemplating briefly before answering Celestia’s question.
“Very, I have a handsome husband, good friends and a job I love. My subjects are cared for and well-fed, and both our kingdoms have benefited from the alliance we forged after my …mistake… at your niece’s wedding. Why do you ask?”
“Merely the concern of a good friend.” Celestia smiled innocently “Soon you won’t be the only one of us with a handsome husband.”
The third pony at this private breakfast looked up sharply.
“Tia!”
Chrysalis smirked at Luna’s rapidly reddening cheeks.
“He really is quite well-formed, if badly named, and very loyal to you.”
“Thou did not attempt…”
“Of course not.” Chrysalis said, pausing to give Luna time to sigh in relief. “One of my subjects did, and dear Pipsqueak was the perfect gentlecolt.”
Celestia merely smiled serenely, while Luna glared and Chrysalis dissolved into cackling laughter.
“Sister, as I recall you were just as insufferable prior to Chrysalis’ wedding, so I think a little justice is well deserved.”
The Princess of the Night groaned and buried her head in her hooves.
*****
4 Weeks, 6 Days, 15 Hours 1 Minute 42 Seconds before the Kiss: Fancy Pants’ Annual Charity Ball
“So, Prince Blueblood, what do you think of Princess Luna’s fiancée?”
Blueblood turned to Fancy Pants with a look of distaste.
“I find it hard to believe that such a lowborn commoner can have any real idea of how to navigate the halls of power. Frankly, I suspect the Princess has latched onto a fine body, and neglected anything of greater importance”
“I don’t know, he is quite an accomplished politician, and he has the support of the populace.”
“He does have an annoying tendency to favour them over the nobility, still, I suspect many of his ‘supporters’ are simply mares swept up in the ‘romance’ of it all. Speaking of romance, how is Fleur dis Lee?”
“Quite well, she’s in the Crystal Empire this week, modelling for Rarity’s new line. And how is Chrysalis?”
“Annoyingly healthy.”
Fancy Pants’ smile faltered somewhat at Blueblood’s venomous tone, and excused himself from the conversation. A dark purple stallion stepped over from a nearby conversation.
“Amethyst Waltz.”
“Prince Blueblood. You seem to dislike the prospective Prince Pipsqueak.”
“Prince-Consort, and, you would be correct.”
Amethyst smiled coldly.
“Then I and my wife have a proposal for you and your wife. Shall we step outside?”
Blueblood lowered his champagne glass to the table, and followed the other unicorn out into a side room. There, they were met by a unicorn mare, her pale blue coat a stark contrast to Chrysalis’ dark chitin. Upon seeing them, Chrysalis groaned.
“You didn’t tell me we were involving this idiot, Arctic.”
Arctic Crystal gave the changeling a dark look, but from behind, where she couldn’t be seen. Amethyst intervened before the situation could deteriorate.
“We would like the upstart mud pony known as Pipsqueak to learn his place. To do this, we need your assistance.”
“And what do I get out of this?”
“Power, a vast supply of love, and vengeance on those who maimed you.”
Amethyst gestured at Chrysalis’ scarred forehead and missing horn. She grinned in a way that would give the noble nightmares for days
“I’ll hear your plan”
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 13 Hours, 57 Minutes and 29 Seconds before the Kiss: A corridor in Canterlot Castle
Pipsqueak walked down the silent corridor, his powerful body slightly slumped from the day’s exertion. As he passed a maid, she squeaked in surprise, dropping her collection of towels.
“Please, let me help with that.”
Pipsqueak began gathering the fallen towels together, until a sharp crack echoed through the hall as his hoof hit something hard. Pipsqueak sniffed curiously, then his eyes rolled and he fell over hard. The maid’s grin held far too many fangs for a herbivore, then with a crack of green lightning, Chrysalis stood undisguised. She turned to the shadows, and a changeling drone stalked out. A flash of light and Pipsqueak looked down at himself.
“Replace the new prince at the wedding. Feed off Luna’s love, deliver it to the hive by midnight tomorrow, don’t get caught.”
‘Pipsqueak’ nodded to acknowledge the order, then watched as Chrysalis hauled Pipsqueak onto her back, cursing her lack of magic, and staggered off into the darkness, where a dark purple coat made its owner near-invisible. After a couple of seconds, he too departed.
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 1 Hour, 28 Minutes and 4 Seconds before the Kiss: A warehouse in Canterlot
Pipsqueak slowly regained consciousness, the odd feeling around his legs resolving into cold chains. He blinked blearily at the three figures in front of him.
“Chrysalis? What?”
“That’s Queen Chrysalis, you foal. Not that it matters now.”
Arctic Crystal’s grin sent chills down Pipsqueak’s spine. The knife she was sharpening didn’t help. Chrysalis glanced at her with a look of vague distaste, then continued.
“Soon, little upstart, you will die screaming. Then, your tormented corpse will be delivered to your precious Luna. Her grief should cause all sorts of interesting consequences. Consequences my colleagues are poised to take advantage of.”
“And what do you get out of this bargain, traitor?”
“All your dear Luna’s love, to feed my subjects, power and influence in the new order, and most of all, revenge on the accursed Princesses!”
Chrysalis stalked forwards, an evil laugh bubbling from her throat as Pipsqueak glared defiantly at her.
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 1 Hour, 28 Minutes and 4 Seconds before the Kiss: The Great Hall
Pipsqueak looked nervously over the assembling crowd. To calm himself he looked for those he recognised amongst the bustle of Canterlot nobility, many of whom seemed to have decided that ‘formal dress’ included swords. To one side of the dais sat the Mare of Honour, Princess Twilight Sparkle herself. To the other side, the Best Colt was looking rather overwhelmed by it all, poor Button Mash never did like crowds. The parents of the groom were sat in the front row, next to Princess Cadance, Shining Armour and their three foals. At least theoretically, the twins were busy playing with their friends, so their seats were empty. Flurry Heart was looking bored with the whole affair, and Shining Armour looked tearful. In a back corner, Spike the Dragon cut an imposing silhouette, slightly spoiled by the collection of foals clambering over him, some of them with scales. His wife looked on indulgently, although she also looked like she wanted to clean up the suit she had so carefully designed for his unusual shape. Rarity ultimately seemed to settle for adjusting Rainbow Dash’s dress uniform, and Applejack sidled away while she was distracted. Pinkie Pie was busy bouncing around with the foals. Fluttershy clung close to her husband, his red coat contrasting with her own pale yellow. Featherweight was flitting about snapping pictures of everything in sight. Pipsqueak glanced apprehensively behind him, and Celestia shot him a wink that did nothing to lessen his fears.
There was a sudden hush as the doors of the Great Hall opened, and the Princess of the Night, radiant in her dark beauty, proceeded, accompanied by a haunting song courtesy of Sweetie Belle. The silvery train of her dress wafted ethereally as walked up the aisle, giving the impression that pools of moonlight followed her footsteps. She smiled nervously at her fiancée as Celestia began to speak.
“Mares and Gentlecolts, we are gathered here today…”
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 0 Hours, 31 Minutes and 5 Seconds before the Kiss: A warehouse in Canterlot
“Why can’t we get started yet?”
Chrysalis looked down at the noblemare disdainfully.
“Because Luna has almost certainly placed a spell on Pipsqueak to inform her should he be harmed. We need her properly distracted by the wedding.”
“It’ll be in full swing by now, Chrysalis. Come on Amethyst, tell her.”
“You have to admit, Chrysalis, we have to start sooner or later.”
“Of course. Unfortunately, there’s a problem with that.”
A look of confusion briefly crossed Arctic Crystal’s face, until Chrysalis bucked her through a nearby crate. Amethyst was quicker on the uptake and ducked Chrysalis’ first swing, but was felled by a vicious head-butt, scar-toughened chitin proving harder than the unicorn’s skull.
“I actually like the Princesses.”
“We know. NOW!”
The boxes surrounding them burst open, and ponies dived out, jumping onto Chrysalis’ back, sending brutal jabs into her sides. The first few went flying as the she kicked out, but sheer numbers soon dragged down even the mighty Changeling Queen, and soon she too was chained to the floor, facing Pipsqueak.
Arctic Crystal picked herself up from the wreckage, then staggered over to Chrysalis.
“Your husband discovered your plotting. Did you really think you could get away with it?”
“Of course she did. She believes herself invincible.”
Chrysalis looked up at Blueblood’s smarmy voice.
“You’re meant to be at the wedding!”
“Why would I want to be the middle of a battleground?”
*****
4 Weeks, 0 Days, 14 Hours 58 Minutes 19 Seconds before the Kiss: A Dingy Bar
The changeling looked dubiously at the hooded and cloaked figure before him.
“So, why’d you want to meet?”
“Blueblood told me you’re Chrysalis’ first choice when she needs something …dubious… done.”
“I might be. What’s it to you?”
“I also hear that once your contract is bought, you are completely loyal.”
A bag landed on the table with an audible clink. It was quite a big bag. The changeling’s eyes widened almost imperceptibly.
“She’s going to be calling on you soon to replace our new prince. You are to take her offer and follow her instructions until the kiss during the wedding.”
“And what then?”
“An expert in your feeding habits assures me that during such a special event, you will be able to consume significantly more than usual, even indirectly, from those who love Princess Luna. Such a draining would likely incapacitate them.”
“You are well informed. Such meal may have… other effects on me.”
“I think having a Changeling Queen on our side in the resulting battle cannot hurt our chances. Do not be concerned about Chrysalis, she will not be a problem for long.”
“Very well, Lord Amethyst. I shall do your bidding.”
*****
3 Weeks, 4 Days, 1 Hour, 23 Minutes, 41 Seconds before the Kiss: Princess Twilight Sparkle’s Canterlot Office
“Princess?”
“Yes, Blueblood?”
The purple alicorn didn’t even try to hide her dislike.
“I understand you are in charge of the guest list for the wedding?”
“Get to the point, Blueblood.”
“You seem to have neglected certain members of the nobility. While I can understand your desire to keep it to Luna’s friends, the marriage of a Princess is as much a political event as a…”
“Yes, thank you. I get it! I suppose you have some suggestions?”
“Just a few, Princess.”
Blueblood levitated a parchment over to Twilight, then bowed and took his leave.
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 0 Hours, 1 Minutes and 55 Seconds before the Kiss: A warehouse in Canterlot
“So you see. Soon, the Princesses, the Elements of Harmony, and almost every loyalist in that room will suddenly and dramatically weakened, and our own conspirators will be ready.”
“And after everypony is dead? What then?”
“We have a scapegoat. And when the citizens cry out for justice, we will answer. Soon, we will rule all Equestria, and your stinking spawn will be extinct.”
Chrysalis snapped her teeth at Blueblood in a futile show of defiance. The chains around her ankles clinked as she strained to reach her erstwhile husband.
“How are you capable of such scheming?”
He merely smiled faintly as he answered
“It’s not like you weren’t trying to be rid of me. After your ‘heroic’ rescue of the young Prince, you could turn me over to the princesses, and wash your hooves of me”
“That’s not what I meant. When did you get the brainpower required for this?”
Blueblood’s smile turned forced.
“I’ll enjoy watching you die.”
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 0 Hours, 0 Minutes and 7 Seconds before the Kiss: The Great Hall
The midday sun shone behind Celestia, illuminating her rainbow mane in a cascade of colour, as she finished the ceremony.
“I now pronounce you, Mare and Colt. You may now kiss the bride.”
Pipsqueak closed his eyes, and raised up his head, his lips meeting Luna’s. All the world seemed to fall away and a giddy energy rose through him. Behind him, Celestia gasped, and a new voice echoed through the hall.
“Now!”
There was a sound like thunder.
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 0 Hours, 0 Minutes and 11 Seconds after the Kiss: A Warehouse in Canterlot
The ground shuddered as a terrible noise echoed over the city. The sounds of high-powered magical combat continued, although muffled by the warehouse walls.
“LUNA!”
Pipsqueak yelled, struggling desperately at his chains, glancing about desperately for some means of escape. Chrysalis merely stared defiantly at her captors. There was a thudding sound off amongst the stacks of crates.
“Sorry. One of the boxes fell over!”
A voice called from the dark. Arctic Crystal opened her mouth, but her husband shushed her.
“Don’t worry about them. With the princesses destroyed, there is no need to keep either of our captives alive any longer.”
Arctic grinned sadistically, and approached Pipsqueak, as she levitated a knife to his throat, she looked deep into his eyes, and murmured.
“Goodbye, little Prince.”
And slashed across. The knife glanced off his neck, and there was a moment of frozen shock. Arctic tried again, then shifted the knife, and tried to drive it into his heart. The knife stopped dead, and Arctic dropped it with a clatter.
“Having difficulty, dear?”
“The knife, it won’t…”
Mocking laughter echoed throughout the building, and both nobles turned to Chrysalis with blank looks, which only caused her to dissolve deeper into mirth.
“Did you really think I left even the slightest thing to chance? Last time I did that I lost this.”
Chrysalis gestured to her horn before continuing.
“Your plan never had a chance”
*****
4 Weeks, 5 Days, 14 Hours 58 Minutes 0 Seconds before the Kiss: A Dingy Bar
“My Queen, I cannot say I was not expecting this”
Chrysalis, wearing the form of a drab mare, smiled coldly.
“Royal events do tend to produce work for us. This one in particular will require some theatrics.”
“Theatrics are my specialty. And my coin?”
Chrysalis rolled a single copper bit across the table without speaking, and the changeling picked it up, examined it and carefully stowed it in a saddlebag. Seeing her look of mild exasperation, he sighed.
“I have a reputation to maintain.”
*****
3 Weeks, 5 Days, 18 Hours, 15 Minutes, 9 Seconds before the Kiss: Office of the Commander of the Night Guard
Twilight frowned at the scroll she had been given.
“You want all of these added to the guest list?”
“Yes.”
“Many of these have military decorations, and some of them I recognise from your dossiers.”
“A mere coincidence.”
“Is there something you aren’t telling me?”
“Many things, Princess. I’m a spymaster. It’s my job.”
Twilight frowned, unconvinced.
“Please, Miss Sparkle. Your personal opinion of me notwithstanding, I am loyal to Equestria, and I do need this.”
Twilight nodded as she left the room.
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 13 Hours, 58 Minutes and 31 Seconds before the Kiss: A corridor in Canterlot Castle
It had been a long day, but tomorrow would be much better, at least assuming Pipsqueak could get some rest. As he moved through the dark castle, he found his way blocked by two Lunar Guards.
“Sorry, sir. We’ve had a security alert in this section. You’ll have to take another route.”
Pipsqueak’s blank incomprehension was more a function of exhaustion than a lack of intelligence. One of the guards responded with more informality than was probably appropriate.
“Here, sir. I’ll escort you.”
As he led Pipsqueak away, his colleague yelled after him
“Make sure he gets there safe!”
Once they were out of sight, the remaining guard shivered, a flash of green fire transforming him into an exact copy of the now absent pinto stallion.
‘Pipsqueak’ walked down the silent corridor, careful to make his powerful body slightly slumped as if from the day’s exertion. As he passed a maid, she squeaked in surprise, dropping her collection of towels.
“Please, let me help with that.”
‘Pipsqueak’ began gathering the fallen towels together, until a sharp crack echoed through the hall as his hoof hit something hard. ‘Pipsqueak’ sniffed curiously, then his eyes rolled and he fell over hard. The maid’s grin held far too many fangs for a herbivore, then with a crack of green lightning, Chrysalis stood undisguised. She turned to the shadows, and a changeling drone stalked out. A flash of light and ‘Pipsqueak’ looked down at himself.
“Replace the new prince at the wedding. Feed off Luna’s love, deliver it to the hive by midnight tomorrow, don’t get caught.”
‘Pipsqueak’ nodded to acknowledge the false order, then watched as Chrysalis hauled ‘Pipsqueak’ onto her back, cursing her lack of magic, and staggered off into the darkness, where a dark purple coat made its owner near-invisible. After a couple of seconds, he too departed. Once he was out of sight, the changeling sighed. Then, with a shiver, he turned back into the Lunar Guard and melted into the shadows.
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 0 Hours, 0 Minutes and 7 Seconds before the Kiss: The Great Hall
The midday sun shone behind Celestia, illuminating her rainbow mane in a cascade of colour, as she finished the ceremony.
“I now pronounce you, Mare and Colt. You may now kiss the bride.”
Pipsqueak closed his eyes, and raised up his head, his lips meeting Luna’s. All the world seemed to fall away and a giddy energy rose through him. Behind him, Celestia gasped as she saw one of the guests draw his ‘ceremonial’ sword and yell.
“Now!”
There was a sound like thunder as a bolt of solar flame lashed through a window, overwhelming the unicorn’s shields and vaporising his weapon. Then everything went to Tartarus as loyalist and traitor alike drew steel. Twilight’s Return-to-Owner spell diverted a dozen flung darts, their poisoned tips proving just as effective against their users as their targets, before she began an even more complex series of incantations. Luna’s dress, designed to her exacting specifications, did not hinder her in the slightest as she danced through the mass of enemies, her instincts still remembering days now over a millennium past as she did battle once more, her stolen sword already red with blood. Pipsqueak stood defiantly, kicking out at any who approached, but generally avoiding combat, where he would be hopelessly out of his depth. Shining Armour and Cadance moved as one with grim purpose, while their daughter, Flurry Heart, stood back-to-back with Spike and Rarity, the foals between them, striking down any who dared approach their charges. Soon the trio had a clear space around them, one of the few in the swirling melee. Celestia was glorious and terrible, almost too bright to behold as she unleashed her wrath against those who dared spoil her sister’s special day, bolts of blazing sunfire turning all in their path to ash. Those who tried to attack Big Mac and Applejack soon learned their error, the lucky ones passing through windows, the unlucky ones hit walls and stopped. The doors crashed open as the battle spread outside, where Royal Guard, both Solar and Lunar, duelled with hired mercenaries.
Discord’s laughter echoed over the battle as he capered, leaving madness in his wake as he protected those he now called friends. The Cutie Mark Crusaders left a similar path, although theirs at least conformed to the laws of physics. Fleur-dis-Lee’s epee darted back and forth as she defended Fancy Pants’ fallen form from all who came near. Fluttershy flitted through the less dense, but no less vicious, aerial battle, occasionally diving into the crush to snatch up the injured and carry them to safety. Gilda, Ambassador for Griffonstone, fought alongside her old friends, a rainbow contrail and streamer-covered bodies marking where they’d been. The Night Guard, having been warned of the attack, fought with hidden weapons and a thousand faces, melting from the crowds of cowering civilians then vanishing just as swiftly. Occasionally whistling arrows flew with pinpoint accuracy, although the shooter was never seen. The Wonderbolts drew a dazzling display with perfect synchronisation, despite the unpredictability of their movements. Clouds of choking gas had cleared a corner before dispersing, where Zecora ministered to the wounded Fluttershy delivered her, protected by a cordon of Crystal Guard, led by Flash Sentry. Explosions and blinding light marked Trixie’s influence, while Starlight Glimmer’s more subtle work disrupted any traitorous spellcasting.
All in all, it wasn’t so much a battle as a glorious victory.
And not for the enemies of Equestria.
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 0 Hours, 2 Minutes and 14 Seconds after the Kiss: A Warehouse in Canterlot
A shimmer of green ran along ‘Pipsqueak’ as he turned back into the changeling drone, slipping his now oversized bonds with ease, revealing the truth of Chrysalis’ words.
“We could still win the battle at the wedding!”
There was another thump somewhere. Amethyst didn’t share his wife’s optimism, and there was something about Chrysalis that didn’t add up, something he’d missed.
“Your group of ragtag mercenaries and lazy nobility against five deities and multiple assorted heroes of Equestria? I know who I would bet on. Thank you for delivering your conspirators, we’d never have found them otherwise. You know, I really wish somepony would think about who leads Equestria’s spy networks occasionally.”
Amethyst gulped audibly.
“You’re Commander of the Night Guard?”
“No, I just know him rather…intimately.”
Blueblood facehooved.
“That was meant to be my reveal, dear. Still, it is not that surprising nopony figures it out, after all, it is the purpose of my public persona.”
“Sorry, honey.”
Arctic gagged. Then, gesturing to the thugs nearby, she shrieked an attack order. A wave of green light spread out from Chrysalis, knocking them all back, and Amethyst suddenly realised what was wrong.
“Your horn!”
“Oh, that. Twilight fixed it years ago for my birthday. She really is an amazing mare.”
Chrysalis pulled a sword from thin air, its black steel blade seeming to drink in the light, and the glittering emeralds in the pommel sending sparkles all over the room.
“And this was Luna’s gift. Always there when I need it, and impossible to find if I don’t. Very useful in my line of work. Now, by the authority of the Night Guard, in the name of the Princesses and of Equestria, you are under arrest for treason, kidnapping and attempted murder.”
Blueblood pulled a small gemstone from his pocket, examining it briefly.
“Please don’t run. It won’t work.”
Amethyst Waltz ignored Blueblood’s words, galloping for the exit. Arctic Crystal instead lunged forwards, knife raised, screaming incoherently. Blueblood dropped the gemstone, and it shattered on the stone floor. The doors imploded as a motley assortment of ponies burst in. Half the thugs changed shape and sides in bursts of green flame. The battle was short and brutal.
Arctic Crystal was yelling angrily as she was dragged away, whilst Amethyst sat in sullen silence. Blueblood walked over, and carefully dabbed at the other noble’s bleeding lip with a handkerchief.
“I hope for your sake that you didn’t have all your conspirators at the wedding battle.”
The bruised stallion didn’t respond.
“Otherwise you’ll have nothing to offer Luna when she decides your punishment.”
“You’re traitors, both of you.”
Amethyst’s words were quiet, and slightly garbled, but Blueblood understood well enough.
“Perhaps. But did you really expect the Changeling Queen and her husband to wear no masks?”
*****
0 Weeks, 0 Days, 6 Hours, 1 Minutes and 46 Seconds after the Kiss: Canterlot Castle
The wedding party was in full swing when Prince Blueblood staggered in, his breath reeking of cider and followed by his annoyed-looking wife. Fortunately few people noticed his arrival. Unfortunately for him, one of them was Celestia, who stalked over, looking thunderous. She didn’t leave her slice of cake behind though, so she can’t have been planning a particularly long rant at the wayward prince. Chrysalis smiled at her friend’s good mood, although many would assume it was at her husband’s misfortune. She picked up a glass of champagne in her hooves, sometimes the mask she wore was inconvenient, but it was so useful.
Chrysalis sat alone for a few seconds, before Twilight walked quietly up to her. A soft buzzing in Chrysalis’ ears told her they could speak freely, so she did so.
“I’m sorry for the disruption to the wedding, but it did allow us to eliminate a dangerous threat.”
“Don’t worry about it. There was no deaths amongst the loyalists, worst injury was Fancy Pants, he’ll be fine in a few weeks, and the way Luna’s been chattering she rather enjoyed the battle.”
They watched as Luna and Pipsqueak slowly danced to an old tune, turning graceful circles around each other.
“She always was a little bloodthirsty. I’m glad she’s found love, even if only for a few decades.”
“I find it hard to understand you sometimes, you’ve lived so long, sometimes it seems you and the other Princesses aren’t ponies at all.”
“Maybe. I’m pony enough to make you wait until breakfast for a full explanation to enjoy your suspense. And to carefully time my account to Celestia’s mouthfuls of tea.”
Twilight carefully suppressed a giggle, then gave up and laughed aloud.
“You never really change, do you? See you later, Princess Chrysalis.”
Twilight trotted away to a group of her friends. Chrysalis sat in silence, thinking about Twilight’s last words. ‘Princess’ Chrysalis. She liked that. ‘Queen’ Chrysalis had been a monster, but ‘Princess’ Chrysalis had friends, friends she would die for and who would die for her. Friends with whom the long years of her life seemed a lot less long.
“You’re a clever pony, Twilight.” She whispered. “But you’re wrong this time. I’ve changed so much, and all of it for the better.”
