Try-$quad

by NJH12

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy
Length: 6013

Minuteman, Lavender Librarian, Captain Obvious, Germ-O-Man, and Try-El. They are the Try-$quad. They 5 are a superhero team with bad powers, but it does not stop them from trying to save the world. (all look like humans except Try-El & Spoilers)

Minuteman {based on this saying "be there in a minute."}: does everything in a minute no more, no less, either signalerly(1 min for every signal thing he does) or combinedly(full costume takes 1 full minute). Only minuteman can see Karma. It takes 1 minute to say Minute Man's full name.
Lavender Librarian {based loosely on a 'green lantern' minus the ring}: have the power of anything/everything as long as that it is lavender colored, and with a push of a button her librarian attire changes into librarian armor at the push of a button, a book titled 'how to look like a librarian while in armor' that turned into a shield, and a pen that turned into a sword. Real name is Lavendel Lavenda.
Captain Obvious {based on thew saying "Well no da, Captian Obvious!"}: states the obvious, and (change into)becomes the obvious. Alias: Average Joe. Real name: John Doe
Germ-O-Man {based on becoming your phobia and fight it}: wears a special hazmat suit that hides her gender and can shrink/grow her to the size of a germ/human, but she is germophobic. Alway blames Irony when something bad happens. Example: when her suit is stuck in germ-size.Only Germ-o-man can see Irony and everyone thinks he's crazy because of it. Real name: Jeremy Germo.
Try-El {based on 2 things CHAP-PiE and the song "angel with a shotgun"}: an angel with one wing and a special type of shotgun with always one bullet in the chamber.
Karma: An invisible, immaterial team member that helps the horrible team to win. Karma can only be seen by Irony and minuteman.
Irony: An invisible, immaterial team member that pesters Germ-O-Man and sometimes others. Irony can only be seen by Karma and Germ-O-Man.

Later on…

Spoilers the Alien {based on people who spoils the ending}: used to be a hyper-intelligent race, until they got dumbed down to leaving the other thing they had left, which was spoiling endings of everything.

Cast:
Minuteman played by Doctor Whooves
Lavender Librarian played by Twilight Sparkle
Captain Obvious played by Prince Blueblood.
Germ-O-Man played by Seabreeze.
Try-El played by an older Spike with a left wing.
Irony played by Applejack / Rarity combo.
Karma played by Derpy.
Spoilers the Alien played by Queen Chrysalis / Pinkie Pie combo.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-03 16:02:42 UTC

View Try-El: if we fail, we try, try again.

I was thinking of my life would have been if I did not choose this path. But this is not the time for the what ifs, this is the time I tell you of how the squad formed.

I don't remember where I was before this but I know there were four others in this place: a female, two males, and one I wasn't sure about. I swear there were two more beings with us but I could not know for sure. Each one looking weird. There was a man with twenty-four watches and a clock necklace. He was wearing a shirt, pants with more pockets than needed, mask, socks, and shoes. There was the other man wearing a ship captain's hat, mask, spandex with letters C and O near the chest region, white gloves, and boots. The female was in what looked like a lavender librarian attire, she was holding a pen and book titled 'How to look like a librarian while wearing armor'. The last one was wearing a modified hazmat suit that was white with a radioactive symbol in the chest area, yellow gloves and boots with blue stripes. He was in handcuffs.

Then a really old dude came up to us and the one with twenty-four watches said "Hello Grandfather Time."

"I need a good team to save the world but with problems on my end I got stuck with you guys so now you must go save the world. Let me introduce myself, I'm Father Time. I have stopped time so you five can train." father time said.

"Why do you have to stop time? What is going on? Irony is this your doing? It is not your doing, well sorry Irony." The person in the hazmat suit asked in a muffled voice.

"Is it not obvious? Because of him, we are a team now, but he was hoping for the best team and with problems on his end, he got us and now we must save the world from trouble." the guy with the spandex said.

"Well, no duh, Captain Obvious! Most of us figured that much out. What we need to know is why?" the Librarian asked.

"How do you know my superhero name?" Captain Obvious asked.

"Wait a minute your superhero name is Captain Obvious? Ha! That is rich. Introductions are needed. I am Minuteman. I must do things in a minute, no more, no less, and by the time this sentence ends it will be a minute." Minuteman said.

"I do not remember my true name so call me Try-El. I have brought a transforming shotgun that will always have one in the chamber." I said.

"You obviously know my superhero name. I could tell you my powers that I must state the obvious most of the time and become the obvious." Captain Obvious said.

"Germ-O-Man can shrink to the size of a germ, I am germophobic and... What is it Irony? You want me to tell them that I'm crazy that I should be in the loonie bin. and other things? By the way, can you take these cuffs off?" Germ-O-Man asked with a muffled voice.

"Lavender Librarian can do anything I want as long as it Lavender colored." Lavender Librarian said.

"Settle down people, and train quickly for the movement of time slowly start." Father Time said.

Lavender Librarian wanted to fight me and I was happy to say yes so I changed my Transforming Shotgun ammunition from lethal to nonlethal. She and I got into our fighting stance I heard a click and saw her Librarian attire was now Librarian armor her pen turned into a sword and her book turned into a shield. My shotgun turned into a shotgun-gunsword. Our swords traded blows. We were evenly matched until she temporarily colored my clothes to Lavender and lifted me up and threw me into a giant hourglass, cracking the glass. Father time said, "Stop! You are about to break the Time Stream Hourglass(T.S.H.) luckily it cracked but did not shatter. If that happens history could change as I known it..." Father time said. *Crack* *Crack* *Shattered.* "What have you done? Who knows what will happen next, last, or now! Ugh! This is why I wanted the best team in any known universes, but I got you five. With the power of doing everything in a minute, sorry grandson, a librarian doing anything she can think of as long as it was Lavender colored, a superhero wannabe stateing and becoming the obvious, a person that can shrink to a size of germ but is germophobic, an angel with one wing and a transforming shotgun that has unlimited ammo as long as it has one in there, have I missed anything else? Captain Obvious don't talk." father time asked.

"Shutting up." Captain Obvious said as his mouth turned into a zipper.

Space-time ripped apart as Grandfather Time was ranting about the incompetence of the squad. The past was left untouched, but the present and future were messed up. Reality had changed for the worse with the time stopped at 4:59, the most annoying time imaginable. Nobody is awake at 4:59 am and time at 4:59 pm slows down as everyone waits for the work day to be over. Every person had a small rain cloud that followed them around, perpetually raining. Hyper-dumb aliens had accidentally found earth and integrated into the workforce. Each one was the most annoying co-worker possible. The aliens were only good at one thing, spoiling endings (movies, TV shows, video games, books, etc.) The aliens forced their way into every business, including the Try-$quad. Spoilers the Alien became the newest member of the Try-Squad. There would be more troubles, that would happen later on.

"Now I also have a hyper-dumb alien which is only good at spoiling endings. Tell me Spoilers how does this end?" father time asked.

"Your Squad which will be called Try-$quad will save this world but not today." Spoilers the alien said.

*Zipped*

"All we have to do is fix the present, and the future will be better, hopefully. Is that right?" Captain Obvious asked.

"Actually, all you have to do, is fix the time-stream hourglass, and the problems will solve itself. Which will be fixed at the end of this part." Spoilers the Alien said as I (Try-El) thought 'This alien might be worse than Captain Obvious.'

"We are wasting time if there was any left, Spoilers you stay here with me while the others go, and fix the problem." Father Time said to us, as he waved his arm to teleport us, to the closest place, near the source of the problem.

We landed in the alien spaceship, I was teleported inside the cages while the others were outside. Minuteman said he could pick the lock in a minute, but sirens came on, alerting the aliens, and I said, "We don't have a minute! Lavender Librarian, can you make a key?" I asked.

"If you don't mind it being a lavender color, then yes I can do it...come on...work got it." Lavender Librarian said as she unlocked the cage, letting me out. The aliens tried to ambush us, but Captain Obvious distracted them with the 'look over there!' trick.

By dumb luck, we were trapped. But not even 5 minutes later, the aliens and the ship started fading in and out, I guess that the time stream hourglass, was fixed. Lavender Librarian said, "We don't have a minute to get out of here, and I ran out of lavender ideas, Captain Obvious teleport us to Father Time."

"On it." Captain Obvious said as he teleported with the team, back to Father Time. When we got there, Spoilers the Alien was still there, but the giant hourglass was fixed.

"Well done...for your first time, not. Spoilers told me that this would not be the end, but the rest can be said better with Spoilers." Father Time said.

"Wait, you 2 fixed the time stream, and the rest of the aliens vanished. But why are you here? Shouldn't you have disappeared with the rest?" Captain Obvious asked Spoilers.

"I thank you Try-$quad. Without your help, I would've been forever dumb, and the reason why I didn't disappear, is because this place, protects people from different time streams, or, in this case, an alien which means I can never leave this place, without reverting to my dumb self. So I will help you in any way I can, but it must be here. For example, Germ-O-Man your Mr. E. (microscopic radioactive energy), is still in the prototype phase. I can fix it and worry not about your secret. I made a hidden room for you. For Lavender Librarian, I can modify your Librarian attire armor, sharpen the sword and polish the shield. And so much more, also, I'm a princess, soon to be the queen of the planet Pluto." Spoilers the Alien said in a royal voice.

"You know that pluto is not a planet anymore right?" Captain Obvious asked.

"Curse you Earthlings scientists." Spoilers the Alien said.

to be continued...

View Germ-O-Man: Was trouble then...

The situation that the Try-$quad is in now reminds me of how I started to be a superhero and how I saved P.O.T.U.S. (president of the united states)...

My name is Jeremy Germo and I am a woman. I am also Germophobic which means I have a fear of germs. I got sick and tired of fighting these 'microscopic' menaces, so I modified a hazmat suit to be able to shrink to the size of a germ to fight them on their 'turf' and grow back to human size if I needed to. I named my suit after it's powers, Microscopic Radioactive Energy, or Mr. E. Ever since wearing the Mr. E, everybody thinks I'm a man for some reason, but every time I try to tell them I'm not, nobody listens. I think irony tries to distract them every time I try to tell them I'm not a man. It doesn't help that I have "man" in my hero title and that my parents gave me a boys name. Or that Mr. E conceals my body shape and muffles my voice. Don't get me wrong I am still germophobic but not as severely as before I made this suit.

I didn't even want the name 'Germ-O-Man.' It was given to me by the president of the United States. I call him Bob. I had just finished making the prototype of Mr. E. At that time Bob was poisoned with a new type of germ that only attacked world leaders. I had just started a disease fighting business and had made some slick new posters advertising my business. They said, 'Fighting germs on their turf.' I thought the slogan was cheesy, but Irony really liked it, so we went with it. It must've worked, because I ended up getting a call from Bob asking for my services. I brought Bob to my lab, so that I could work on him. I had never done this before. I should've hired an assistant (besides Irony; no one really sees him anyways) because I had no one to inject the microscopic me into Bob's bloodstream. Luckily, I recruited one of the secret service members to do the injection. Once inside, it didn't take long to locate the germ. It was a mega-germ, although still microscopic, and it was attacking Bob's brain. I'm no doctor, but I am a fighter, so I started attacking the germ. The mega-germ just shrugged off my attacks. Irony said, 'brute force won't work. You have to hit the glowing weak spot on the peptidoglycan wall (Mega Germ's skin).' I guess I should've studied a little better in medical school instead of just training to fight. I should've just remembered the things I learned from playing video games. I hadn't met Captain Obvious yet, but he would've told me that the glowing points are usually always the weakest. The Mega-Germ fought hard but it failed I got out of Bob and when I tried to grow back to human size with my suit, that's when my suit became stuck in germ size for three hours. When I was back to human size Bob thanked me and asked, 'what did you do?' and I said with a muffled voice, 'I shrink to the size of a germ inside an injector, got injected into your blood stream, found the germ in your brain, it was huge for a microscopic germ, defeated it, got out, and was stuck in germ-size for three hours, sir' Then Bob said, 'From this day forth you shall be called Germ-O-Man.' I tried to protest but Bob ignored me. I think Irony was at it again.

So that's my origin story I guess. I wish it would've ended right there, but little did I know that the Mega Germ would return. This was also the origin story of my Archenemy, Psy-Clopz.

In my younger days, I didn't understand how germs worked. Some germs after they die, leave endospores, which are 'zombie' bacteria. They grow a tough outer wall and can withstand radiation, extreme heat, freezing, and pretty much everything. Now that I'm more experienced, I know that I need to destroy the remains of any germ I kill. I wish I would've known that back then, because by not destroying the endospore remains of the Mega-Germ I inadvertently created my archenemy.

After I saved Bob, I remained friends with him. Although over the next few years I noticed some increasingly hostile behaviors from him. The endospore grew in him, mutating into a deadlier disease changing him from the inside out. The disease ate away his right eye and his remaining eye slowly shifted to the center of his forehead. I thought this was weird, but since he was my friend, I didn't question it. The mutated endospore disease also warped his mind. He began to think increasingly violent thoughts and display increasingly violent behavior. Bob gained supernatural powers as well. Bob could now use telekinesis to move any object he wanted; he gained the ability to use an electric psychic blast. When he used this power, the top of his head folded back, exposing his brain. From his brain, he was able to shoot a blast of psychic electricity. I'm glad he didn't show me this power when we were still friends. Seeing him do it now is freaky. I don't know how well I could've handled seeing the brain of the POTUS. He also gained the ability to predict and analyze the possibility of future events. The mutant endospore disease also gave him the ability to shrink down to the size of a slightly larger germ than I can shrink into. Convenient, huh? It's still microscopic; no one can see us without a microscope. I didn't realize he was gaining powers, I just observed him becoming more hostile. This worried me and I encouraged him to seek help. Bob thought I was trying to take his powers away from him. Bob would purposely say things in order to make me mad and one day I lost my composure and slapped him. He threw me in jail to leave me to rot. Needless to say, I was no longer friends with him. Thankfully his presidential term ended, because God knows what would've happened to the US if a one-eyed Villian was the president. The endospore zombie germ mutated him into a psychic cyclops. He started calling himself Psy-Clopz and declared me as his archenemy. Even the most noble person can be corrupted. Maybe that's part of the reason I have trust issues and am paranoid; it changes a person when their friend becomes their arch-enemy.

One day I was sitting in prison, playing poker with Irony. The other prisoners didn't care about the floating cards. They just thought I was being my normal, paranoid self. Suddenly, I was teleported to a room filled with hourglasses. You know the rest; Try-El already told that part of the story.

View Irony: ...Still Trouble now.

I'm irony. You know those little ironic things that happen to you? The things that you chalk up to coincidence, but in the back of your mind you think are orchestrated? Well, they aren't coincidences. They are my doing. You probably thought Germ-O-Man was crazy for thinking I exist. But I do exist. You are the crazy one to think that there are so many coincidences.

I was floating above Germ-O-Man and Grand Father Time's room. He told us that a cyclops was attacking the white house. Germ-O-Man said, "Wait, where have I seen a cyclops before?"

Then I told her, "The cyclops is Bob. You know the ex-president got infected by the Mega Germ and became Psy-Clopz."

"Oh, now I remember." Germ-O-Man said as Father Time teleported them at the white house's door steps. Minuteman said, that he would be back in a minute, and left.

When they got there, Psy-Clopz didn't even turn around. But instead said, "Ah, Germ-O-Man, the last time I left you, you were in jail and handcuffed. I see that you brought friends, what is the new slogan now?" Try-El tried to say the slogan, but Psy-Clopz said it first, "The Try-$quad, we will always try to save the day, one way or another."

A battle was about to begin. I saw glowing bits, which means attack that spot, but since I'm Irony... "I'm sorry Try-$quad, but I can't make this easy for you." I said as I waved my hand, Psy- Clopz's glowing bits, would heal him if it was attacked, and the parts that are not glowing, is the weakest.

Captain Obvious said, "Hit the glowing parts! Video game logic states that the glowing spots are the weakest."

When they attacked the glowing spots, it did nothing but heal him up. Germ-O-Man said to me, "Your supposed to help us, not the enemies!" After a minute passed,

Minuteman showed up, and said, "I would've defeated this creature already if I wasn't a minute late."

"You are always a minute late, or a minute early, you are never on time." Lavender Librarian said to Minuteman.

"This isn't working!" Captain Obvious yelled to the Squad.

"Tell us something we don't know for once, Captain Oblivious!" the squad yelled back.

"If everything is obvious to you, how do we defeat Psy-Clopz?" Lavender Librarian asked.

"I only can do two things, state the obvious and become the obvious, so obviously... I have no idea what to do." Captain Obvious said.

Germ-O-Man said, "We know the solution isn't obvious, and I know that Irony is messing with us, so let's take a different approach to defeat Psy-Clopz."

"Nobody's messing with us, Germ-O-Man. It's all in your head. But I do agree we need to approach this fight differently," Try-El said.

"If the glowing bits are the strongest, then maybe the non-glowing bits are the weakest... maybe?" Captain Obvious questioned.

"You don't sound too sure, Captain, but I agree that it sounds like a good idea. Making the glowing bits the strongest sounds like something Irony would do," Germ-O-Man said.

Shoot, they figured out my ironic plan.

The Try-Squad turned all of their focus back on attacking Psy-Clopz's non-glowing points to find Psy-Clopz in hand-cuffs and Minuteman looking triumphant.

"While you guys were talking, I figured out his weak spots and took him down. It was easy; it only took me a..." Minuteman said.

"Minute... we get it," Captain Obvious groaned.

"Our mission here is done. Grandfather Time, teleport us back the hourglass room," Minuteman said.

Germ-O-Man said, "You guys go first. Teleport me in a minute. I still have some work to do."

"Ok, I'll teleport you in exactly one minute," Minuteman agreed.

"No, not exactly. I was being figurative. Just teleport me..." Germ-O-Man said, but the squad had already teleported.

"You know Irony, we wouldn't be that bad of a team if you weren't always messing us up, Irony," Germ-O-Man said to me as she took off her helmet.

I gasped sarcastically, "You're... a woman. Your secret is out."

"You knew that. And it's not a secret. I don't why everybody acts so weird around me." Germ-O-Man said.

"Probably because you always talk to your imaginary friend. Who is that guy Irony anyways? Did you make him up," I joked.

"But seriously Irony, stop messing with us." Germ-O-Man said.

"Try $quad has Karma helping you out anyways. She always counteracts everything I do. But you figured my scheme out, this time, Germ-O-Man. You know me so well. I need to start being more creative in my irony. I'm starting to get too predictable. Or maybe I'm predictable enough to be unpredictable. Try to figure that one out." I said.

"Karma? Now you're the one with imaginary friends. The next t..." Germ-O-Man was cut short, as her minute was up and we were teleported back to the hourglass room.

As we appeared, Try-El saw Germ-O-Man demasked. He quickly changed his shotgun to shoot smoke bombs. "Your secret's safe with me." he said as he shot the smoke bomb to hide Germ-O-Man's identity. Germ-O-Man sighed as she put on her helmet to breathe in the smoke. I smiled at the irony of Germ-O-Man's situation. And this time, it wasn't me.

View Minuteman: A minute of your time.

Where to start? At the beginning, I suppose. It started at 00:01 on January first when I was born. I only lived for a minute then promptly died. Let me explain: Everything I do takes exactly one minute, no more, no less. That's just how it's always worked. It's my blessing and my curse. It's really nice when a normally long task takes me only a minute but it's a pain when a task that should take a few seconds takes me a whole minute. My Grandpa, Father Time (well Grandfather Time to me) is the one that controls time itself. He split his workload into four parts. He is the first part. My dad, Hour Hank, is the second part and does everything in an hour. I come next and already explained my power. Then comes Second Son, my son, who does everything in a second. Four times I 'died' {so far} at ages of 0, 13, 18, and 21. I do not know when I die again.

Most of our powers are really weird, take me for example. But mine isn't even the weirdest. But despite our deficiencies, we will always try to save the world, one way or another. Our leader is Try-El, an angel with one wing. He can't really fly straight, but he get's the job done somehow. Try-El does have one have one thing going for him, a transforming shotgun that always has one shell (or other ammunition) in the chamber.

Then we have Captain Obvious, who thinks it's obvious that he's the leader. His name is Captain so I can understand why he thinks that. The loudmouth pretty much can only state the obvious and then can change into the obvious. Captain Obvious' powers are pretty obnoxious but he's oblivious to that. Sometimes when the squad is especially annoyed with Captain Obvious, we'll call him Captain Obnoxious or Captain Oblivious for that reason alone. His real name is John Doe, though.

I've got a real name, too, but I'm going to waste my minute to tell you. Saying my name takes one full minute. You should know that, though, because everything I do takes a minute. If you tell me to "be there in a minute," you'd better expect to see me there in exactly a minute. Most people call me Minuteman. I've got 24 watches on my arms and legs, 1 for each time zone. My favorite watch is the giant clock I wear on a necklace. You know Flava Flav? He got his style from me. I gave him my other clock necklace when I left that dimension. But back to the squad.

Lavender Librarian is from another dimension as well. She was the Librarian for a super villain named White Warrior who thought it would be funny to make everything she did have be Lavender. The super villain(White Warrior) thought she could be his sidekick and gave her a special suit and tools. He gave her a librarian attire that changed into librarian armor at the push of a button, a book titled 'how to look like a librarian while in armor' that turned into a shield, and a pen that turned into a sword. The power he bestowed on her ended up being a lot more useful than he expected because it allowed her to do anything and everything but no matter what, it had to be lavender. Once given the power, Lavender Librarian made sure he was dyed Lavender and sent him to another universe. Unfortunately, it turned out to be the universe that we are in now. Lavender Librarian's real name is Lavendel Lavenda, which means Lavender Lavender in two languages. Figures.

But the most ironic member of the squad is Germ-O-Man, who isn't even a man, but I won't tell. She can shrink to the size of a germ with a special hazmat suit that hides her gender, but that is not the worst part; she is germophobic (the fear of germs). Her real name is Jeremy Germo. We think that she is crazy and tell us that Irony is the cause of her problems and I only know from her that Irony 'helps' out.

I cannot fathom how we still win most days, oh wait I do. Her name is Karma and without her, this 'team' would fail from the start. Father Time gives out the missions to the squad. Also, on our team is Spoilers the Alien, but she's really annoying and we try to ignore her.

Now we are near the end of the intro and I would like to remind you that I will have written this part in a minute and give bonus points to those who have read this chapter in a minute.

So who are we you ask? We are the Try-$quad.

To be continued...

Multiple views: Not even 5 minutes...and all hell breaks loose.

(Karma)

So far in this story, the Try-Squad has sounded pretty competent, right? They've been able to succeed in all of their missions. But that's because I was there. Even though they don't know I help, just my presence helps them make better decisions. There was one time where I wasn't there. It was only for 5 minutes, but during that time, all hell broke loose.

The Try-$quad found their dream-mission, fighting an endless supply of henchman. I knew they had it covered so, in a momentary lapse of judgment, I told the Try-Squad, "I'm leaving for 5 minutes. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone." When I came back, not even 5 minutes later, the universe was nearly destroyed. Needless to say, they did everything stupid while I was gone. I asked them, "I left you guys alone for 5 minutes, and this is what happens, you stupid super-hero idiots! What happened in those five minutes?" I'll pass the torch to Captain Obvious to give you a first-hand account of the Try-$quad's idiocy.

(Captain Obvious)

It's obvious who's speaking, I don't need to say it, but if you must know, it's Captain Obvious. The best mission we ever messed up was the time we had an endless supply of henchman to punch. Distortion is Minuteman's archenemy and was trying to draw Minuteman out to fight him. He found a factory and used his distortion powers to teleport henchmen from all across the time stream to the factory. He was using his distortion powers to resurrect the fallen henchman back to the factory from before they were defeated. This was Try-Squads dream, to go to a factory that endlessly supplied bad guys to punch. The Try-$quad knew of Distortions plans and knew Distortion wanted Minuteman to show up. They also knew that if Minuteman were there, the battle would've been over in a minute and they wouldn't be able to have as much fun. We had to get rid of Minuteman somehow. Minuteman is all about the minute and very competitive. If you bet him that he can’t do something in a minute, he will alway try to prove you wrong, because, at the end of the 60 seconds, he thinks he will be done. What he always overestimates is the number of steps he has to go through, each taking a minute. So the Try-$quad got together and decided to bet him that he couldn’t break the Clock of Ages in one minute. We knew he would have to teleport, break the clock, and teleport out, giving us three extra minutes of glorious henchman punching. What we didn’t know, was the effects of the Clock of Ages being broken.

(Minuteman)

That lousy Try-$quad. They knew they could take advantage of my competitive spirit. They bet me that I couldn’t break the Clock of Ages in a minute. What do they know? The Clock of Ages is the biggest clock in the universe. It regulates the universe’s time and makes sure it stays constant. I don’t think the Try-$quad thought through their plan, they just wanted to get rid of me. I couldn’t just couldn’t back down from their bet even if it did destroy the universe. I had to teleport back to the Time Palace to get to the clock. I didn’t factor in the minute it took to teleport, but I still knew I would win the bet and destroy the clock. I played a quick game of solitaire during the minute it took to teleport to pass the time. The towers of Time Palace glistened in the sunlight as I sped towards them, turning the plan to destroy the clock over in my mind. I reached the Time Palace, running through the halls, searching for the Clock of Ages. Intent on not losing the bet, I burst into the Clock room, ready to tear it apart. The Clock tower was bigger than I remembered; the tallest tower in the Time Palace. I knew it would quite a feat to thoroughly dismantle it in a minute. I climbed the tower, ten thousand steps up, and lunged for the minute hand. I grabbed it, hanging over the oblivion of space. I pulled with all my might, bending the minute hand away from the clock, not pointing towards the clock face. The internal mechanism broke and the minute hand lurched back and forth, sending the universe's time into flux. As the time of the universe fluctuated, minutes seemed to pass and go, slipping in and out of existence. I was phasing in and out of an existence of as well and couldn't hold on to the clock any longer. I fell to what I thought was my fifth death, contemplating the stupidy of my bet. I phased out of existence right before crashing into the ground and was able to survive my fall. I knew I needed to get to the Hourglass room, the only place in the universe to keep me from fading away. I stumbled through the halls for what felt like hours before finding myself in the hourglass room.

"What's going on?" Spoilers asked me, panicking.

"You should know what's going on better than anyone!" I replied

"I only know the endings. All endings. I don't know the events that led to them." Spoilers said.

"I destroyed the minute hand on the Clock of Ages and now the universe's is distorted. Maybe Distortion is behind this. Or maybe this is happening because Karma left. Normally, she rewards our good intentions with good results. But with her gone, we are left with the consequences of our really stupid decisions. We need to find Karma to make this right again. She can fix the clock. I would try to find her, but if i go out of this room, I'll slip out of existence. You're the only other one here; you need to do it," I pleaded.

"I'll be super dumb if I leave this room. How will my dumb self, find Karma and save us?" Spoilers asked.

"Let's make a plan now while you're smart, and write yourself thorough directions that would be impossible to mess up." I said.

"I highly doubt that. I'm going to mess up anyway. It's just a matter of when." Spoilers moped.

"It can't hurt to have a plan. Let's think of all the places Karma could be."

We sat down down and brainstormed ideas. After writing Spoilers detailed instructions, she set out to find Karma.

"Wish me a little bit of dumb luck," Spoilers said.

(Captain Obvious)

Hi, it is Captain Obvious if you did not know,  and while I had the highest henchmen beat-up count (120) turns out that Distortion's distorting powers became more powerful and the henchmen are getting smarter. How do you ask? It is because every time we knock down a henchman it teleports out then teleports from the factory a minute before they were knocked down, but they remember how they were defeated and learn from their mistakes improving over time. Then Distortion told us, "I feel powerful! Time to spread my power throughout the universe!" At that moment I morphed my wrist into a watch and to my dismay, the minute hand disappeared. I realized that this was our doing; that these were the effects of Minuteman breaking the Clock of Ages.

Distortion roared, "The minutes of the universe are distorted and clearly I didn't do it. My powers have increased to superhuman levels. You may have succeeded in defeating my henchmen here, Try-Squad, but try to defeat my henchmen when I teleport them to every planet. But don't think that there will be any henchman on Pluto; that hunk of rock only wishes it could be a planet."

We were in over our heads.

(Karma)

You might wondering where I went when I left. It's a hard job to make sure the universe runs smoothly and sometimes I just need a break. When I get stressed, I have to meditate. I went into Germ-O-Man's secret changing room behind the giant hourglass and meditated there in the dark. As I was meditating, Minuteman burst into the room. He was in a daze, slipping in and out of existence.

"Karma? How how long have you b-b-been in h-h-here?" Minuteman stuttered. "I couldn't stay anywhere for a minute, I had to move. I don't remember this room being back here," Minuteman said, jittering. "I broke the Clock of Ages. I didn't mean to do it. The rest of the Squad dared me to do it and I couldn't back down. Now minutes don't exist and I don't exist. I can't stand these time fluctuations. It's killing me." The broken Clock of Ages was affecting him.

"Since I left Try-$quad, you guys have just messed everything up. That shouldn't surprise me, though. I guess I'll have to save you guys. Give me a minute." I said.

"There are no minutes!" Minuteman yelled. "I'm disappearing fast!"

"Ok, fine. Fixing this will just be snap." I snapped my fingers and the clock repaired itself, the minute hand snapping back in place as if it had never been broken. Universe-bending powers are just part of my job. You don't want to see my evil side.

We're back where we started. I guess don't have to rehash exasperation with the Try-$quad again. I do love them, though. They may be idiots, but they're my idiots.

The fun was over. The endless supply of henchman teleporting throughout the universe disappeared. The Try-$quad teleported back to the Hourglass room to debrief. They all gathered around when they noticed something didn't feel right.

"Wait! Where's Spoilers?" Minuteman asked.

(Spoilers)

"Hello?"

to be continued...