Tale of the Misfits: Deleted Scenes

by bluemoon1996

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Adventure, Crossover, Human, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 7721

Being trapped in a video game run by chaos incarnate does to weird occurances. Regettibly, somethings can't occur in canon continuity. So they get rerouted here.

These shorts are tangental ideas thay tie in with my story Equestrian Legends Online: Tale of the Misfits. If you wanna, go and read that.

Salutations! Bluey the changeling here! ADD can be such a wonderful thing, and more often than not it suddenly sees a random quest marker on the horizon and barrels towards it. Not caring who or what stands in it's way on its eternal quest to gather enough loot to make a Blood Raven jealous. And when it stops to look back and see its caused a fourteen car pileup, condemned six buildings, capsized an aircraft carrier and set fire to a retirement community; it suddenly decides to vanish and leave me to pick up the pieces and get back to where I was.

These shorts are all results of me trying to kick myself back into the writing spirit and all thart comes out being noncanon tomfoolery.

Published 2016-03-06 14:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-06 14:50:01 UTC

Ghost Tunnel

I held the lantern handle tight in my mouth as I brought up the end of our little column. And saying I was scared was a complete and utter understatement; my heart was beating like a conga drum and I was sure I had most likely shit myself back in the human world. I wasn't really a man of faith but I was sure as shit muttering the Lord’s Prayer as I kept looking over my shoulder at the darkness that followed just out of lamp’s reach.

It felt unnatural. Actually, if you thought about it; nothing here was natural but that's beside the point. The encroaching blackness just felt wrong; like no light or player could escape its grasp if one of us fell behind the group.

My eyes widened as I realized I was actually starting to fall behind so I hurried up the pace and caught back up. Damn it, I don't wanna test that damn theory.

A shiver ran up my spine as I had that oh so lovely feeling that someone was watching me. "Guymp, youf feel dat toof?" I mumbled through the lantern in my mouth.

"That we're being watched?" Myst said, nodding. Krieg just nodded as Phoenix kept silent, keeping a watchful eye from the front.

"Phoenix?" Myst asked, a small hint of concern in his voice. "You okay dude?"

You better not be possessed or something; you're our damn supernatural fighter in here! He turned to face all of us with the most serious look I had even seen on his face, "Don't touch the shadows."

W-what the fuck is he talk... Well, shit. It was then that I noticed what lay ahead and I was most definitely muttering the Lord’s Prayer then.

Shadows.

Silhouettes of ponies filled the tunnel before us. All dead silent as the all faced us. Okay, my pants had most definitely shit themselves. I could practically feel their nonexistent eyes burrowing into my skull as I tried to look away from them.

I heard Phoenix start to say something that sounded like some form of chant or something as he stepped forward.... And the shadows parted way for him. He turned back to us, "keep close, I have no idea how long that'll keep them parted."

We didn't need to be told twice and in an instant, we were practically on top of Phoenix's rump as he led the way through the unholy crowd.

Yep, we were a bunch of battle hardened players but shadows were making us shit our metaphorical pants.

.....

Silence. For the next I don't know how many yards (or meters in Myst's case), we walked in complete and utter silence as Phoenix kept on muttering his chant; not even our hooves seemed to be making any form of sound on the cobblestone beneath us.

The silhouettes just kept silently watching us as they parted for us. I kept my wings tucked as close in as I could manage with my armor and my jaw was starting to hurt from how hard I was biting onto the lamp. Damn it, of all the shortcuts we had to take it had to be through the goddamn Metro! I really hope it was Discord who made this place because no bastard is evil enough to make this place.

"W-what are they?" I finally heard Krieg speak, breaking the unnerving silence.

"I-I don't know," Myst said quietly, his voice wavering, "b-but I think... I think they're ghosts?"

"Ghosts? T-those can't be..." Krieg paused, "those can't..."

My eyes widened in realization as I connected the dots my brother was making. Those can't be the ghosts of players who've died...can they? No, they have to be NPC enemies but why aren't they attacking?

"Who knows," Myst replied, "I-I think I see light ahead!" He practically squeed with relief.

I craned my head up and true to his word, there was light at the end of the tunnel and at the sight of the light we all sped up, all eager to be free of this unholy place. Soon, the mass of silhouettes ceased and we found ourselves able to get off of Phoenix's ass.

"Don't leave us..."

OKAY RUNNING TIME! I didn't even stop to tell the guys and I just bolted. It was safe to assume heard that too as I heard the sound of them running after me and Myst zoomed by close to the ceiling.

________________________________________

"In the words of Solaire of Astora... Praise the sun!" I heard Phoenix proclaim as he got out of the tunnel and started kissing the grass at his hooves.

I was too busy bent over and breathing heavily, "I... assume... you heard... it too?" I managed to get out in-between pants.

Looking up, I saw Krieg was in about the same position as me; his legs had given out and he was just lying there; breathing as heavily as I was. He looked over at me and simply nodded.

"Yeah, and I felt something touch my tail," I heard Myst say quietly, as he trotted into view. He was shaking and looked like he was on the verge of collapse.

I looked at my three compatriots and then back at the tunnel entrance, "We need to tell the admins about this..." I shuddered involuntarily, "and we agree to never speak of this to anypony ever?"

In our town

I came to tied to a chair surprisingly well. I could barely wiggle my legs and somepony had made sure of making sure that my wings were securely tied to my sides. Okay, who ever had tied me up had delt with pegasi before.

Looking about the room, I realized I was sitting in the center of a rather barren room. The walls were all stone and the flooring was wooden planks. The only light was coming from a lantern hanging from the ceiling, near a open doorway to another room. The only decoration on the walls was a picture of a equal sign hanging in a frame. Why was looking at that so calming?

"Damn it, why can't he remember?!"

My ear twisted to face the doorway as I heard a voice from the other room. He sounded... Worried, scared even. Was he the pony who tied me up? Was he talking about me?

"Phoenix," a second voice said, sounding far more level, "it's the programming here. This tow-"

"Fuck this damn town!" The voice from Phoenix snapped, "this fucking place is screwing with his damn head!"

Okay, what the hay are those two arguing about?

"Phoenix, you need to calm down. This isn't like you."

"I am calm Mountie!" Phoenix snapped, "Your best friend isn't in there lobotomized and smiling like he's got a section eight!"

"He's my friend too Phoenix."

"Umm.... Hello? Can you two let me out possibly?" I called out, "why am I tied up?" Seriously, why the hay did these stallions tie me up? I did nothing wrong.

A blueish grey face poked around the corner of the door and looked at me, his somewhat long orange and reddish orange mane looked like he needed a hair cut. But his eyes looked sad as he stared at me for a brief second before retreating to behind his cover.

After a few seconds of muffled conversation, two ponies came out of the other room. The blueish grey face belonged to a pegasi and the other was a dirty white unicorn stallion with a mop of blue hair on his face. The unicorn's face looked exceptionally sad as he gave me a brief look; had he been crying? I just kept my eyes on the two of them as they walked up infront of me; I swear I know their faces from somewhere.

The two stallions stopped in front of me and looked awkwardly at each other for a second. The pegasus turned to look at me, "do you remember who we are?"

I shook my head, "No, I don't know who you two are. Are you new to the village?"

This caused the unicorn to visibly wince. "Cass, it's us; your friends: Phoenix," the grey pegasi said, gesturing over to the unicorn and then himself, "I'm Myst."

I don't know these ponies? Why are they calling themselves my friends? All the ponies in the village are my friends and these pony aren't from here.

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Myst," I said, nodding towards the pegasus, "and you too Phoenix. But you two aren't my friends."

"Yes you are!" Phoenix suddenly shouted, "I've been your best friend since we were eleven! We both went to high school together! You always wore that one stupid ass Star Wars shirt back before we got stuck in here! And you honestly thought you were gunna be a damn unicorn but you got pegasus instead!"

Umm... Okay; this colt is creeping me the heck out "Ooookay," I said, turning to Myst, "is he normally this... Peculiar?"

"Yes."

"And what's 'Star Wars'?" That wasn't any book series I've ever heard of?

"IT'S YOUR FAVORITE FUCKING MOVIE FRANCHISE!!!" Suddenly, pain stabbed across my face as I turned to face Phoenix only to have him slap me across the face. I let out a yelp of pain as the chair and I fell over on the floor.

"Damn it Phoenix! You promised you wouldn't hit him anymore!"

"We've been at this for three fucking days Mountie! The damn cooks are getting suspicious; we gotta break him out!"

Break me out? What the heck is he talking about "wha- bwah! I bit my tongue!" Ow, that really damn hurt!

"See! Cass would be trying to smack me back right now, not bitch about biting his tongue!"

"We need to do this carefully Phoenix," Myst looked down at me, a worried look on his face, "if we do this wrong, we could seriously screw him up."

"Fuck cautious," he shot back, tears in his eyes, before taking a deep breath before sitting the chair and me back upright. He looked directly into my eyes, his snout was practically pressed into mine. "Cass, what is your name? Your real name?"

Celestia wept, this colt needs a breath mint; and I gagged slightly. This earned a giggle from Myst who Phoenix turned and glared at. "What he did the scrunchy face? I like the scrunchy face."

"Not the time," Phoenix growled and turned back to me, "answer the question..."

"First off, you really need a breath mint; your breath smells like death."

Phoenix blinked in confusion and took a few steps back, bring up a forehoof to his face and breathing into it, "Jeeze, Mergo never told me a thing."

"And what do you mean by real name? My names Cassius?" Seriously, what does he mean?

"NO! THATS NOT YOUR NAME!" Phoenix erupted. I'm sure I would have been knocked back by the sheer force of his screaming if I wasn't tied down.

"Phoenix, you ne-"

"Shut the fuck up Rohan!" Phoenix practically screamed at Myst, causing the pegasus to take a few steps back in alarm, "we don't have the time to do it your way! We have to do this the hard way!"

"B-but.. it could not work! You could just screw him up even more!"

"That's a chance we gotta take, "He turned back to me, "I'm sorry but this is for your own good." With that, his foreleg slapped me across the face again, this time harder than before, "What is your name!"

"C-Cassius!" I yelped.

He slapped me again, "wrong answer! What's your name!"

When Myst rides the Wind (written by Greycait)

It sat waiting for me on my bed, fresh out of its packaging; a metal helmet with a fair amount of cables connecting it to the console, also fresh out of its packaging, that rested on the bedside table. They even had that new electronics smell. I inhaled and let it sink in. I bought the game.

No, scratch that. I bought a highly advanced, and fairly costly, technological apparatus capable of thrusting someone’s awareness into a virtual setting with accurate simulations of all five senses. It was all thanks to a complicated process of subverting and (or was that or?) blocking the typical signals exchanged between the brain and body, and replacing them with signals it creates itself, thus propagating and sustaining a reality the mind believes is real.

What? I read the manual. And the press releases.

Also the research papers. While not quite riveting, it was interesting. A game based on My Little Pony. Scoff all you want, but My Little Pony was a pretty amazing show set in a remarkable world, and the creative sparks in the fandom just made it all the better. There was no way I was missing out on the experience of a virtual reality game based on it, if only to be one of those casual users. I had heard the worlds they made for these things could be remarkably involving, even for those who didn’t go for the hack and slash routes.

But on topic; Equestria Legends Online’s servers were coming only today. Actually, they came online a few hours ago. I stopped wasting time on random musing and quickly settled on my bed, fitting the Nervegear on nervously, mentally psyching myself up for the dive.

“Um… Link start!”

The system quickly started working at my command, lights flashing on the inner surfaces of the gear, dancing and sweeping across my vision. It quickly disappeared

Sight: Okay
Hearing: Okay
Smell: Okay
Taste: Okay
Touch: Okay

The display went black. Crap… did it bre- ah, there we go!

Language: English
Username: MystRyder
Password: **********

The sign in process complete, I was subject to blackness again, before a single line of simple white text appeared.

Welcome to Equestria Legends Online

The text faded and it was dark again. This time, I could feel my body. I was standing, and a beam of light was shining down. Another line of white text appeared against the dark, this time accompanied by a small text box.

Now you must choose your avatar. Select which pony race you would like.

- Earth Pony
- Pegasus
- Unicorn

“Really going for the ‘less is more’ thing, are you guys?” I mused out load to no one in particular as I selected the ‘pegasus’ option. I had thought long and hard on it. While an earth pony warrior, alchemist or poison crafter might have been fun, I wasn’t the direct fighting type most times, and crafting systems were notorious for being finicky. At least in tabletops. It had been years since I played a real video game, but seriously; Virtual Reality Ponies. Unicorns and their magic system might be an even worse headache. So nimble fighter it was

The words in the text box shifted.

What would you like your avatar to be?
- Ponified self
- OC

“Ponify me,” I grinned, tapping the first option. Might as well. The text box faded away as new words appeared in the dark.

Please hold still.

“Oka-aaah!” I yelped as a bright blue light shone down on me. It didn’t last too long, and I did my best to hold still while it… did whatever it did. After a few seconds the light drifted away from me in wafting mists, reforming into a pony like shape in front of me. The mist held the shape as the glowing dimmed, revealing my glorious pony form.

A bit underwhelming, I was forced to admit. Blue grey fur comprised it’s, er, my coat, covering the somewhat leggy form. The, my mane and tail were orange with russet shadings, full streaks in places, highlights in others. My eyes matched the orange. I noted the wings tugged against the barrel of its, my, form, and the blank flank behind it.

“I can work with this,” I murmured, taking in the length of the tail and the unruly nature of my mane. Though leggy, my pony self wasn’t as disproportionate as the young Fluttershy had been, and far from the winged stick-figure limbed bobble head Featherweight was. I was just a bit long legged, with a long tail and an untamed mane.

“I’ll call you ponime for now,” I decided. “And I probably look fine in a suit too.”

Please make your cutie mark.

A new box appeared. Actually, this was a full window. A blank canvass surrounded by a generous helping of art related icons. I cursed softly. I was familiar with photoshop, paint, paint.net and a handful of other programs like it. But that was all passing familiarity. Fortunately, there were enough elements to work it. Good thing too, otherwise ELO would be filled with ponies adorned with artwork that would make a preschooler cry. Not everyone was good at art.

I start drawing a trio of daggers (or checking the default vectors for one), but I hesitated part way through the first one, pulling my hand back. Tapping a finger on my chin, I hummed contemplatively, pacing slightly, stopping to gaze at ponime. “This is your Cutie Mark story, isn’t it? Well, mine too. Ours?” Ponime stared back with his vacant expression. “Mine. You are me after all, it’s just… looking in a dimensional mirror.

“Daggers… aren’t me…” I quickly erased it and stared at the blank canvas thoughtfully. The empty space didn’t have the answers, so I started talking to myself. Actually, with ponime right there, I literally was. That didn’t happen every day.

“Why am I here?” I started, only to grimace. “Well, ain’t that the meaning of life… Okay, why did I get this game? Because I liked MLP. Twilight, Pinkie, Rainbow, Sweetie Belle, Scoots, the whole gang. Well, Equestria. I liked the world and wanted to experience it in a way stories couldn’t.” I smiled. I like that one.

“I didn’t come here to fight and battle,” I said finally, “so much as I came to experience… I came to experience the world and story, and to see where it would take me. Ha! Now… how to put that in ink?”

It took me a while, but I managed to make something passable. A few swirling white lines for a breath of wind, a feather that could be taken for both a quill or a flight feather, depending on your personal perspective, and a plain page or sheet of parchment caught up in it. I even added a tiny scribble or two to one edge of the page, the start of a document. Carried by the wind, a story told, experienced, a life.

“That’ll do, pig, that’ll do,” I nodded, hitting okay. The masterpiece of art flew from the window, duplicating itself and adhering to the flanks of ponime with a soft glow.

Is this design acceptable?

“That it is,” I nodded, pressing okay.

"Now that you have chosen your pony, you may enter Equestria." I totally didn’t squeal like a little filly when, in a completely unexpected turn, a voice suddenly spoke up in the place I’d been all alone in for the past thirty minutes or so. I squealed like a young drake, because that was manlier. The darkness brightened considerably as brilliant light swept across the area.

“Good Luck~”

When Myst learns some things (written by Greycait)

Sound came back first; the ambience of chirping birds, the wind blowing by, even the low chatter of voices from the distance. Scent and touch were right behind it; the warmth of the sun, the ruffles of moving air over my coat, the smell of flowers and the town in general.

One eye opened, and the other quickly followed suit. Thatch roof buildings, cobblestone and dirt streets and a population of colourful equines, some armoured and bearing weapons, others naked as the day they spawned all greeted me. Most all of them had little lines of text hovering over their heads. I figured those were the character, no, player tags.

It was Equestria and it beautiful. I almost shed a tear.

A blue grey protrusion framed the lower edges of my vision. My expression was probably pretty silly; cross eyed with a goofy grin as I tried to look at my muzzle. “Holy Hannah I have a mu-ACK!”

The instinctive response of bringing both hands up to touch the muzzle was a major miscalculation on my part, one I paid for. I had forgotten, well, not yet realized actually, that I was currently a quadruped. My actions resulted in the loss of all support for the leading half of my body. The world blurred into motion for a moment as I fell, and my cry of alarm was aborted when my chin hit the dirt.

Well, if it were just dirt, it would have been so bad but not so bad. Unfortunately, it was the hard packed dirt and stone of the town square.

Ow…

Also; taste worked fine. Equestrian dirt tasted like dirt.

“Oh dear, are you okay?” a female voice asked.

Blinking away the stars, I groaned and looked up. A pink mare, bright green eyes glittering, looked back at me, her expression a blend of concern and poorly contained mirth. Her short mane, the same colour as her eyes, tied to the left side of her head. I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. “I bith ma thunge…”

Her already strained will simply shattered at that and she burst out laughing. I wasn’t sure what hurt more; my chin, my tongue or ego. She tried, bless her soul, she really did, but the hoof she tried to cover her face with did little to hide the tears leaking from her eyes and her puffed out cheeks.

Ego. Definitely my ego.

I rolled my eyes and tried to get my feet, well, hooves under me, but I lacked experience on how to work the new limbs. “Wow… got legs…”

“Oh, let me give you a hand,” she said, still chuckling. Before I could protest, she pushed her muzzle under my forearms and gave me the lift I need.

Most definitely my ego. Would a health potion heal damaged egos?

My wings flared as I she helped me attain something close to a secure setting, and I craned my head around to stare at them. Four legs still corresponded to two legs and two arms, but wings were a completely new pair of sensory inputs. I tried to flap them, a bit bemused as how stiff the alien limbs were. “Uh… got wings…”

“I noticed that,” the mare smirked, eyes twinkling as she looked at my wings as well. Um, what? I looked back at the wings.

Oh?

Oh!

“Uh, right! Um… thanks,” I said, blushing slightly. Her cutie mark was three bubbles of differing size around purple stars. “I’m Myst Ryder. You can call my Myst. Or Mist. Not that you can tell the difference when you say it out loud. The ‘Y’s were mostly there because it looks cooler, and I was indecisive about going unicorn or pegasus when I choose the username. And… I didn’t need to tell you that.” I ducked my head and I felt my ears flick back.

“You probably didn’t. I’m BubblePop, but just Bubbles is fine,” The mare giggled again. She extended a friendly hoof. “Nice to meet you Mist.”

I bumped it awkwardly. And promptly lost balance; toppling over once more, eating dirt for the second time. In less than two minutes. I groaned as Bubbles benefitted from another round of laughter at my expense.

“You have no idea what you are doing, do you?” Bubbles asked with a knowing smile as I squirmed and wiggled myself in an attempt to coordinate six limbs towards the greater goal of standing.

“Not a clue. That obvious?” I questioned with a shameful smile. I waving her hoof away, struggling to get up. “Nah, I’ve got to learn this thing eventually. Ha!” I finally managed to get back up to my wobbling feet. “See? Progress!”

“Just a little,” Bubble smiled. She turned and motioned for me to follow her as she aimed more or less towards one of the smaller streets. “Some players, especially though who’ve never full dived before, find the transition a bit tricky. It will sort out in a little bit.”

“Sure it will…” I grumbled. At least the others in the area were too busy with their own business to spare much attention to the pegasus with the locomotion challenges. Come on hooves… one foot in front of the other. It’s not rocket science!

“Don’t worry; I’ve helped newb players before. I can give you a quick run through if you like. And it would be best if you didn’t just hang out in the square.”

“Oh thank goodness… The instruction booklet wasn’t very helpful at all!” I exclaimed while trying not to trip over my own feet. It took a bit of work, and a lot of watching how other players were doing it, but I got the gait down without any further samples of the local turf. All in the technique.

“No worries, Mist,” Bubbles insisted. “I’m free for an hour while my friends take care of a few things offline. Unless you’re waiting for people yourself...”

“No, I have a friend who got the game too, but I’m planning on surprising him later,” I declared proudly, wings flaring for dramatic effect. I shot a quick look back at them. “I swear I didn’t tell those to do that… Anyway; I don’t think he’s off work for a while, so I figured I’d get a few levels in or something to look more impressive when he shows up. Only, I kinda don’t know how to play… please stop laughing at me…”

“Sorry,” Bubbles said, proving once again she had not skill at restraining mirth. “It’s just that you make it so easy. Come on, let me show you how stuff works.”

Bubble’s crash course was actually pretty helpful, and I really had to wonder why they didn’t put that stuff in a little booklet or something with the game. The last time I played a game it came with a handy game guide. Games these days.

Yeesh; I sounded like an old geezer… Was it really that long since I played video games?

Still, I had to admit that the level of detail in the game was impressive. Every turn held some new marvel for me. I’d even tried a snack of tulip bulbs purchased from an NPC. They tasted pretty good. The last stop on the tour/tutoring session was the weapons shop. Bubbles had been quick to point out that I couldn’t level up without some form of equipment, so we had browsed the stock and found what was in my price range. The NPC shop keeper was patiently waiting on us to make our purchases, a process that I was admittedly holding up. But it was for a good reason.

“Seriously? What do you have against hoofblades?” I whined at Bubbles. My left wing pointed at the pair of weapons hanging from a hook on the wall, a cross between a bracer and armguard and a shoe, tipped with two solid blades. Pointed without my conscious violation, I might add. “Hoofblades are cool!”

“As cool as using ‘y’ instead of ‘i’, Mist?” Bubbles asked with faux innocence.

“Humph.” I stuck my muzzle in the air. “I stand by my life decisions and find no shame in them.”

“Silly boy,” Bubbles laughed again. I’d grown to like her laugh. “Still, you’re too low leveled and inexperienced for then. Swords are mid to long range melee, hoofblades are short ranged melee. It’ s trickier to fight with something like that without getting hurt. Start with the basic sword first. And maybe a ranged weapon to back you up.”

I pouted at her, my lower lip quivering. She rolled her eyes. “After you get a bit of experience and loot, you can get your fancy hoofblades if you really want them. After.”

“Fine,” I grumbled. “Only because you asked nicely. And that’s Silly Man to you.”

“Oh, so sorry. I’m sure anyone would have made that mistake, so hard to tell.” She stuck her tongue out at me.

“Who’s the childish one now?” I smirked.

“Still you,” she said happily. A sudden alert from her menu made her stop. “Ah, darn. That’s my party. They’re back online. Sorry Mist; got to run.”

“Nah, it’s good. Thanks for all your help, Bubbles. Not every player would have taken time to help out someone like me,” I said gratefully.

“Yeah, this is ELO, based on My Little Pony. Friendship and magic,” Bubble said.

“Yup, Friendship is Magic,” I grinned back. “So…. Can I message you sometime?”

“I didn’t have you add me to your friend list just show you how it worked,” she admitted with a slight wink.

Wait… what? Okay, I was definitely reading too much into that. So I narrowed me eyes at her and dramatically lifted a hoof to my chest with a theatrical gasp. “You lie! I should have known you’d have ulterior motives, Miss Bubbles.” She laughed again as I stood there awkwardly. “Um… is there a player etiquette for how we separate or something?”

Bubble chuckled and bopped me on the nose. “Buy your weapons Misty. Maybe we can talk again some other time!”

“Sure. By then I’d actually know what I’m doing mostly,” I called after her as she left.

“I doubt that!” she returned as she trotted out.

I was still grinning when her tail disappeared out the door. Here for less than an hour and already a new friend. And they say online gaming is bad for your social life...

“So would you like to purchase something?” the storekeeper asked.

“What? Oh, right… sorry!” I grinned bashfully at him and looked back at the options. “Right, um… let me see now…”

When Myst fails to win (written by Greycait)

“Can I have a short sword, a pair of bracers and one of those crossbows?”

“Just a moment,” the storekeeper said before trotting away from his counter. He eyed me, and picked what seemed to be a random sheathed sword from the collection hanging on the wall. The crossbow he pulled from the stand though he vanished in the back of the story for a little while before returning.

He set them all on the counter, the sword in its sheath, the crossbow with a large presumably hoof friendly trigger, a pair of bracers and a large pouch with a generous supply of bolts. He snorted slightly at my expression at the bolts. “It comes with the crossbow. Everything totals to 110 bits.”

Will you purchase these items for 110 bits?
- Yes
- No

I tapped yes without hesitation, and flinched slightly when a pile of coins appeared on the counter before me. The storekeeper swept them up without pause. “Thanks for the patronage.”

Okay, there were a few things I’d have to get used to about this place. Admittedly, it didn’t work that much differently than how I would have expected a game to operate, but the nature of it, being a virtual reality, it threw me off. I managed to get my purchases balanced between my wings and left.

Slowly making my way down the street, I brought up the player menu again, trying to figure out how to put the items away instead of having them out. “Okay… that’s the system settings… the message option… I should have taken notes…”

Walking wasn’t helping the process any, so I found a random corner to squat in to fiddle with the player menu. The player stats page was useful though. It took me more time than I’d like to admit, but I eventually found my way back into the inventory. The long way around…

Of course, my luck would have it that I recalled the actual shortcut to the inventory after wasting all that time taking the long way around. With a muffled curse, I stored my purchases, tapped the sword in my inventory list like Bubbles mentioned and headed off to start exploring the town on my own. I figured it would be worth it to know my way around.

Something of note; I was getting better at walking around and such. I hadn’t quite tried flying yet, though the relationship between my mind and my wings had finally settled and I could work them as if I know what they were for. Still, small victories. There had been a general game guide book in my inventory, and after fuming about how much more useful it would have been to have that available outside the game, I’d taken it out to skim as I walked. Walking on just three legs was surprisingly easy to figure out.

Passing by the library actually got me wondering if the books were real. No, hear me out. If this was a virtual reality, leaving the books as just a patterned wall like they used to in older games would be disappointing. Some players would want to interact with them. I would want to interact. But coding books would be a massive chore. On the other hand, this world was all digital at its core. They could just have a database of ebooks and link them to the virtual book. It sounded like it was possible. My own digital library was over five thousand books last I checked.

Not that I read most of them.

My aimless walk eventually took me to the outskirts of town, and if I had been paying attention instead of musing away on the nature of the reality I was currently in, watching players and NPC interact and contemplating the nature of digital life, and skimming through the book, I might have realized my wanderings had taken me away from the safety the town represented.

Instead, I had just been following the paths around, paying more attention to simply staying on it, than where it was leading. Unfortunately for me, I had somehow ended up on one of the paths that lead out of town and into the monster infested Everfree Forest.

Huh. That sounded decidedly more intimidating when you were there in person. Even if it was just the path, the forest was still pretty foreboding, with the thick canopy, the low level of ambient light and the rather disconcerting sounds of wind and creaking wood.

Still; I was already most of the way there, Bubbles help set me up with some weapons, and I wanted to get a few levels in before MoonAce got online. Thus emboldened, I reared up and waved my forelegs in the air and charged into the forest. “Myst Ryder Monster Slayer! Yay!”

With the aid of retrospect, I could safely say that giving into the impulse to celebrate like the crusaders should have been a major red flag that my intentions weren’t going to work out.

But that realization would come later. Prometheus I was not. Actually, Prometheus would make a pretty cool user name, but I digress. My initial gallop fell to a curious trot as I traveled the path. “Now… where would I find monsters to slay?”

Not staying on the path would probably be my best bet, so I slipped off the path into the forest proper. There was a marked strangeness in the air. Even with soft wind rattling the trees, the creaking of wood and the plant matter being crushed under my hooves, it seemed too quiet. I was a first level character wandering about in The Wild Woods.

Unbidden, that annoying song from that really old movie popped into my head.

You're in The Wild Wood, and every child could tell you that you got no business to be here!

Maybe I should have tried the White Tail Woods. It sounded like it would have nicer monsters…

It’s our secret to survival in a very nasty world.

My fur seemed to be standing on end, bristling, and the air was a bit nippy. Actually… I was technically naked right now… Maybe I should buy a cloak. I did have the the bracers, but they didn’t really count…

It’s our secret to survival in a very nasty world.

I rolled my eyes. I was in the Everfree Forest, one of the wildest woods Equestria should have, and nothing had jumped me yet, but my subconscious insisted on pestering me with a song I found a few times on the internet. “Is it really such a nasty world?”

Two howls cut through the air.

“I swear I was kidding,” I groaned. Whirling quickly, I half crouched and made ready to face the monsters that finally turned up. I swear, if there was actually some mechanic in the code that reacted to statements like that…

For a while, there was nothing, but then a bush rustled, a soft growl emanating from it. I shifted orientation and faced it, ready for whatever might leap out from it. A health bar popped up just in my field of vision. Awesome! My first combat. I was psyched. I was pumped. I was so ready for this.

The attack came from the side.

Something leaped out from behind a tree and slammed into my side. Pain lanced from my ribs as teeth and claws worried it. The pain didn’t last too long, thankfully, and I tumbled, rolling as bits of red code leaked from my side, my health bar taking a dip.

I scrambled back to my hooves as a second timberwolf, the one I first heard rustling the shrug and growling, step out to at menace to the work of the one that blindsided me. They had their own tags hovering over their heads. I swallowed nervously. It was just two wolves. I could handle that, right?

Maybe I should have stayed in the town…

No, none of that now. I felt great! I could do this! I could win! I…. really needed to stop talking to myself. The wolves took my moment of confusion and mental deliberation and attacked again, the first wolf charging right at me, the second one darting out to cut in from the side.

“Raaawr!” I matched their snarls with a yell and raised a hoof… only to realize I had no idea how to get my sword out. Bubbles never covered that practical! And I had skipped the combat part in the guide too, intending to get back to it later, too! The first wolf hit me hard, sending me reeling again as I cried out in pain and panic, my health taking another dip. It didn’t try to pin me or anything, and that was my one good fortune.

The second wolf rushed in and clamped his jaws around my hind leg, drawing the red code that seemed to be the blood in this game. Even though I knew the pain wasn’t real per say, panic, rather, terror flooded my thoughts.

“Get off me!” I yelled, lashing out with my other leg, managing a glancing blow, the timberwolf yelped and scampering back. Its health didn’t suffer much from the weak blow, and I was too panicked to care about that anyway. Why couldn’t I use my weapons?

I turned tail and ran in the direction I thought the town was, cursing my own foolishness all the way. The crashing of underbrush behind me and the regular snarls and snaps motivated me to keep moving. My health was in the yellow at the moment, and I hadn’t thought to purchase any health potions, or whatever they were called in this game, meaning it was make it or break it.

“Crap, crap, crap, crap!” My mantra wasn’t very helpful. Only the basic boost that pegasi got to their speed and agility was keeping me out of the literal jaws of death that were nipping at my flank and heels, chipping my health down further. The wolves were fast, especially in this terrain. They might have even had a ‘forest walker’ ability or something, being plant constructs and all.

“Sword appear! Out! Summon! Equip! Mode Shift! Please?” I yelled out randomly, trying different things in futile attempts.

I got blindsided again, one of the wolves’ love nips tripped me up and I got another recommended serving of dirt and turf for the day. I was learning though, and kept rolling, not staying down for long. Panting heavily, I faced them off, sparing a glance at my health.

There was only a little bit of red left. I wasn’t going to make it. I was going to die in this forest because I’d been an idiot. And I wouldn’t even get a shred of XP from it! I snorted and shifted my stance slightly, aching body or no aching body, legs set wide, wings unknowingly flared in an attempt to make myself look more intimidating.

I was weak and defenseless and they knew it. I know I was a pony and all, but I did not get this game to become a prey animal! But that was exactly what was happening; trapped with two wolves bearing down on me in a wild forest. I was scared, and inched backwards a bit. I was too exhausted to keep this up. If I tried running, they would still catch me. This was a bad idea.

Hold up… Maybe that’s exactly what I needed. The wolves snarled as they prepared, decided if I would flee for them to chase, of if they should just rush at me and end it. I glanced quickly around the area, and picked my target. It would be close, but it wasn’t like I had anything to lose at this point.

With a bark-like snarl, the wolves charged.

And so did I.

“Yaaaaa!” I bellowed senselessly. The timberwolves didn’t stop to wonder what their crazy target was doing, which worked for me. I ran right into the jaws of death.

And leap over them.

Ponies were good jumpers, pegasi even better ones. Who knew; maybe the stupid idea would have failed if I actually had taken the time to plan it out and make calculations rather than act rashly. Maybe I was just lucky, virtual adrenaline in my veins. Either way, my first bound landed firmly on the lead wolf’s back and I used him as a springboard to gain even more altitude.

Wings flapped instinctively, because at that point the fact that I was a pegasus and had flight was not at the forefront of my thoughts, but they did propel me high enough for my legs to wrap around one of the tree branches. I shifted my death grip on it, pulling myself up so my hind legs could find purchase and security as well. The branch creaked ominously initially, but didn’t make any further protests as I held on for dear life.

Beneath me, the wolves were stunned, momentarily confused by the turn of events. Please go away, please go away, please go ah crab-baskets…

All the hopes I had about them giving up was dashed in very short order, though. Instead of leaving, they lurked, pacing around the tree, snapping and snarling, ever so often using rearing up on their hind legs or using the trunk, even leaping a few times, all in attempts to get at me. I quickly pulled my tail up from where it dangled after one of their leaping snaps grazed a few hairs.

Up in a tree, wolves waiting below and no further plans at hand. With no dignity left to my name at this point, I took the only option I had. “HELP!” I bellowed out, banking on the slim chance that there was someone around. “SOMEBODY HELP ME!”

Somebody did, charging out of the trees and yelling courageously like Big Damn Heroes. I would like to say they showed me what real players could do, taking down the wolves in a spectacular display of skill, but I couldn’t. I had long since clamped my eyes shut. Watching two predators salivate over you was not fun. Not fun at all.

“You can come down now, the wolves are gone,” a voice called up. I peeked down. A dark brown pegasus and a white unicorn were looking up at me. And no wolves in sight. I exhaled thankfully.

“Um… O-okay.” Now… how was I supposed to get down? Climbing a tree with hooves wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to do, and by the time I managed to shimmy down the trunk, I was scratched and streaked with bits of bark and tree sap in places bark and sap had no business being.

“Thanks guys for saving me…” I sighed, too worn out to express it properly. Maybe virtual reality games weren’t my thing after all.

“First off, no problem man,” the pegasus smiled. Only to frown in frustration a moment later. “Secondly; what were bloody thinking, coming to the Everfree unarmed!"

“I-I am armed!” I protested, feeling my ears flick back from embarrassment. “I-I have a- bought a sword and everything. It… it just didn’t come out for the fight…”

The unicorn was unimpressed. “It didn’t come out? Do you have it equipped?”

I opened my mouth to protest, but then closed it back. I did equip it, right? Right?

… I was an idiot, wasn’t I?

I called up the inventory and low and behold; I forgot to actually equip the stupid thing! I must have confused the quick reference tip and the actual equipping instructions... A few taps later, the sudden weight of a sword and the touch of its securing straps wrapped around my barrel heralded my swords debut, far too late. I gave my rescuers a sheepish grin as they facehooved.

“You are idi-”

At the time, I was kind of glad that the blinding light cut him off. I really didn’t need salt in my wounds. But considering what we found out when the light faded… just being called ‘idiotic’ would have been like winning the lottery.