My Mistress Twilight

"Come on Jay, please?"

"No, I am not going to put that in the chapter! Aw look at what you did! Now our conversation is bleeding into the story..."

"Sorry....I just wanted to-"

"No It's fine, but lets go on with the story. Anyways...."

"B-but Jay, why not?"

"Goddamn it Pinkie! I love you but I swear to god I will get the rope if I have too!"

"NO! I'll be good."

"Okay. Sorry about that, now where was I?"

        You sit in your small room nursing your sore flank. Though Twilight had cleaned you both up with magic, the smell of sex was still strong in your nose. Wincing you limped over to your bed and sat down, or rather you tried too. You jump up with a silent scream as you see a violently pink pony staring at you. She was smiling ear to ear, almost like she was crazy.

Who the blueberry hotel fuck are you!? You sit there and look at her before sighing and raising your eyebrows.

        "Oh! Sorry, I didn't introduce myself did I? That makes me a meanie pants then huh? Well I'm Pinkie Pie and me and you are having a party tonight!" She reaches into the small inter-dimensional gap that ponies called a pocket and withdrew a pink envelope. "See you at eight!" She hops off the bed and out the door, only to return a second later. "Silly me, I almost left Gummy."

        You look at her with your 'what the hell' face and she responds by pulling a green alligator from underneath your pillow. Giggling she runs out of the room, leaving the scent of sweets lingering in the air. Stunned you rush out, only to find yourself face to face with Twilight.

        "Pinkie Pie." She said it as an explanation to your bewildered expression. "Don't try to understand her, trust me." Shaking your head you hand her the invitation. "Oh, yeah she asked about this and you can go, just don't make her sad. It's so not worth being chased with a hacksaw." Your jaw drops as she lights up her horn.

        "What. The. Dick! Is wrong with that mare?" Your voice explodes out of you like a bullhorn. "I mean, how did she pull that out of thin air? SHE AIN'T A UNICORN! How the friggidy fu-" Twilight shoves a hoof into your mouth silencing you.

        "Stop swearing, or I swear to Celestia I will chain you to a wall and whip you."

        You look at her with wide eyes and nod slowly. "Sorry. It's- well- how?"

        Twilight shrugs and walks away. "I hope you slept last night," she calls over her shoulder. "Because this is gonna be one heck of a party."

        "What?" Shaking your head in confusion you head to the front room to talk to Spike. "Hey Spike, do you know where Sweet Apple Acres is?"

        "Yeah, Applejack stays there. Why?"

        "Well I got invited there by Pinkie Pie..... And I have no idea on how to get there..."

        The little dragon smiled and waved a claw. "Its okay, follow me."

        You and Spike walk to the address on the invitation, and find yourself facing a rather large but silent barn. "Huh, I expected this place to be more lively..."

"Well, Big Mac and Applejack they are the ones that run this place are in Manehattan visiting their family the Oranges," Spike explained. "Applebloom is staying at Rarity's while Granny Smith is, well actually she is in town staying at the Home until they get back,"

"Ah, ok." You enter and see a small cake and a few balloons floating around. Upon inspecting the cake you are a bit unimpressed wit the whole setup. "Is this it? I mean I kinda expected mo-" You are cut off as a pink bouncing mass jumps on you.

        "SURPRISE!" Pinkies voice is louder than a fog horn. "HI! I didn't think you were coming, I was starting to turn into a frownie pants, but now you're here!"

        "Erm, Pinkie, can you get off of my bladder please?" The pink mare looked down with surprise to see that she was standing on your bladder, and a few other -ahem- organs. "Spank you very much."

        Pinkie looks at you with her eyes narrowed. "Did you just say you were going to spank me?" Her hair slowly starts deflating and her voice takes a scary tone. You hear Spike chuckle at that.

That's not good. "No, where I'm from it's a joke. Another way of saying thank you. Oh for the love of god please don't try and kill me with a hacksaw!"

        Her hair re-inflates with the sound of a balloon leaking air. She looks at you, smiles and then proceeds to laugh her head off. It started as a giggle, then a chortle and then full out laughter, she even did this adorable little giggle snort that melted your heart. All the while you stand there looking at her with the biggest shit eating grin on your face and Spike is on the floor rolling with laughter just like her.

        Hearing a faint noise you spin toward the sound and find yourself face to face, or rather face to mane with a yellow pegasus. Her head was tilted down and her pink mane covered her face.

         You lower yourself down and find her eyes. Wow, what a beautiful shade of teal... She squeals a bit and back pedals slowly. "Hello there, who are you?" You ask gently while slowly closing the distance.

        "Fmublemuble"

        "Sorry love didn't quite catch that." She squeaked adorably when you called her love and the little bit of her face that was visible blushed red. "Could you speak up a bit more?"

        "My name is Fluttershy." Her voice may have been a low mumble but you were able to catch it that time.

        "Well Fluttershy it is a pleasure to meet you," you pull one of her hooves to your face and kiss it gently causing her to squeak again and freeze. "Hey Pinkie, I think I broke her.." You turn to Pinkie and laugh as she stared at you open mouthed. "What? I would've greeted you like that but, well lets just say my flank was killing me so I wasn't feeling very happy." After a moment of awkward silence you slide over to the table and grab a random bottle: Applejack Daniels, sounds good to me. You smile and start to chug the apple whiskey.

        "Um, should you be drinking like that? You know Twilights gonna be mad..." Spikes voice was apprehensive.

        "Yeah! That was supposed to be opened after all the games!"

        Smiling apologetically you place the bottle down and look around. "Well, where are the games?"

The next two hours pass in a blur. You only recall giggling madly as you played 'Pin the tail on the pony'. Pinkie somehow wound up pinning her tail to the poster and the posters tail to her own flank. You didn't even question it, you just said "fuck it" and moved on. Eventually Spike made his way home and the drinks were brought out. Though you were never one for drinking, this vodka whisky apple stuff was like crack and you consume flagon after flagon of it.

Twilights gonna put me in the doghouse for being this drunk....

You and the two mares sit around a small table drinking shot after shot of the high grade alcohol, actually you were playing a drinking game Pinkie came up with. Each pony tells a story and every time a pony laughs, the one laughing has to take a drink.It started off easy but as the time wore on, you grew more and more inebriated and bubbly.

        "So then I says, I says to him Georgie my boy. That weren't a lady you done went and kissed but a Japanese transvestite!" Pinkie, Fluttershy and yourself roar in drunken laughter at the end of your story. "I swear, I ain't never seen puke fly outta someones mouth like that in my life," you laugh wiping your eye with a hoof. "I'm not quite that inabri-inebry, drunk yet, so anypony up for more shots?" Pinkie nods hiccuping, while Flutters, as you had taken to calling her, simply laughed. Smiling like a moron you clumsily pour three glasses full of the drink and grab three tablespoons of salt and mix one in with each drink. "Ash we shay bu- ba-back in Ireland, lets conshoome the devils brew until it destroyes our kibneys and kills us!" With a hearty cheer you down the drink and pass out.

Pinkie giggle snorts and looks at your body. "H-hey Shy, we should TOTALLY put him in the house..." Fluttershy looks at you and shakes her head slowly.

"No, Can you watch him while I run over to Twilights house?" Pinkie salutes and wobbles a bit. "I'll be back soon I promise." The yellow pegasus turned and wobbled out of the barn, and as soon as she was far enough she straitened up. "Silly Pinkie, she knows Applejack Daniels doesn't affect me..." She smiled knowingly and headed off toward the book savy unicorns home.

Some Odd Hours Later

        "Ugh, what happened...?" You sit up and look around, slightly startled. "Where am I and why the hell CAN I SEE THE SUN!" Standing up you rush forward and are abruptly stopped by a chain. "Dafuq?" Looking at your neck you see a silver chain leading from your collar to a red doghouse. "Well shit, she literally put me in the doghouse.... And why is there a rabbit here?" Rubbing your throbbing head you stare into the black eyes of a little white bunny.  You laugh nervously, only to cringe as your head throbs. "Ow."

        "Wow, you're finally awake, huh Mr Sleepyhead?" Fluttershy's voice sounds from your right. You look at her and she smiles gently. "Aww, you look so cute and helpless chained up like a puppy..." She nuzzles your neck and gently bites your ear eliciting a pleasure filled groan. You feel her smile and she gently pushes you down onto your stomach. She wastes no tome in rubbing your head and shoulders. "You know, Twilight said I could borrow you for a little while, so guess what?"

"Mmm... What?" Your voice is low and relaxed.

She stands up and you see something that makes you freeze. "I-I........b-but thats a-a..."

Hanging from between her legs is a decent sized, but quite hard penis. She puts her face to your ear and whispers five words: "You're going to love me..."

Hey guys, I just honestly want to say sorry for being such a dick with the updates.

This chapter was inspired by the Ask Futashy Tumblr and my editor MLP Lover who asked for a little scene like this.

Happy asshole?