Super Horse Mask ™
On the outskirts of Ponyville was an old semi rundown house. It wasn’t so much as a house anymore though as it now had lightning rods and other technical dodads sticking out of it. There was a sign that rested just above the shoddily painted door that read ‘Light and Sparks. We totally have degrees’. A crash could be heard, and swearing that would kill a manticore echoed off the walls into the outside air, probably polluting it.
“Agh! Son of a BITCH! No, put the muffin in that box. NO! That’s a crate!” A brown earth pony stallion in a lab coat yelled towards a poor pink mare before throwing a clipboard at her. The Mare however yelled “FUCK YOU, I QUIT!” Towards the Stallion before storming out of the workshop with steam fuming out her nose. She kicked the door off its hinges as she left the room.
“Damn it, Light! Can you stop pissing of our assistants?” a white unicorn stallion asked while looking through some notes on a clipboard. He set the clipboard down on a table before turning towards the earth pony, “We can only fool so many ponies with fake diplomas!”
“It’s not my fault they can’t tell a box from a crate, Sparks.” Light said simply.
“Yes it is, you're the one who hires them! There's even a question on the application sheet asking if they know the difference!” Sparks yelled.
“Oh well, the new assistant is coming in today anyway,” Light said with a smile. “So there's no problem. I bet they know what a crate looks like!”
Sparks just facehooved and sighed, “Why did I agree to be part of this?”
“Because you love me? You also want to be famous.”
“I don't think fame is worth this suffering.” He lamented when a small bell rang out into the building. “Did you really install the fucking bell?”
“Respect the bell!” Light said insistently, “It rings with it's soul! It puts so much effort into those rings and you're just gonna insult it?” Light turned around theatrically, “Frankly sir, I'm offended.”
“I have no more words for you. I’ll go see who it is.” Sparks said while trudging through the cluttered workshop towards the front of the building, the only wall without shelves pressed against it. The others had either crates, assorted crap, or a single trophy barely bigger than his hoof. That one was labeled Light’s accomplishments. Spark’s hooves steadily beat against the wooden surface as he arrived at the door. “Smile and don’t mention Light, easy.” He muttered, reassuring himself.
Pushing the door open revealed the front of the building, a white room with tile flooring, it had a secretaries desk and a few cushionless chairs sitting around. The scene was reminiscent of a waiting room found in most hospitals.Sitting on one of the chairs was a very tall man wearing a red T-shirt and blue jeans. On his head he wore a brown SUPER HORSE MASK ™ which Sparks didn’t seem to notice was a mask.
“Are you Tony?” He asked with a smile. The man stood up and nodded his head which caused the SUPER HORSE MASK™ to wobble around wildly. “Very good, would you mind coming with me?”
Tony nodded again and followed Sparks back through the door into the workshop. When they went back there however, they saw Light attempting to lift up a table with nothing.
It was all the more shocking when he actually did it. Stopping to stare in disbelief Sparks’ brain ground to a halt trying to process what the flying fuck was happening in front of him. Light turned to him and opened his mouth to speak, in doing so dropped the fishing wire pulling the table up through a pulley on the ceiling. This didn't register with Sparks as he was still stuck in an error message. ERORR! SPARKS.exe HAS FAILED TO LOAD PROPERLY! RESTARTING…
“Light,” Sparks said calmly not revealing the panic that was consuming him at the thought of Light being able to do magic, even levitation. “What did I say about being here when I'm showing around the new employee?” Light actually looked ashamed at this and mumbled something while inspecting the splintering floorboards.
“Your friend there reminds me of a certain someone. I don’t suppose he randomly sings, does he?” Tony asked while staring at Sparks with dead horse like eyes.
“Yes he does, quite often I might add.” Sparks said while walking over to Light who had somehow tied himself up in the fishing line he was using. “I don’t even see how you did that in the amount of time I was gone.”
“Well I'm pretty sure it had something to do with those horn extensions you bought, you left them on the floor and I tripped then fell into an alternative dimension and fought a potato God. Or I just tripped, Whichever makes more sense to your mortal minds!” Light exclaimed dramatically, flailing around in the fishing wire. Sparks just facehooved and looked towards Tony,
“I’m terribly sorry that you have to see this. Light is normally more...nevermind, I won't lie.” With that Sparks moved over to Light and attempted to help remove some of the fishing line that literally wrapped around all four of his legs.
“Just get some damn scissors!” Light yelled from his fishing line prison. After a few moments of struggling the line loosened and Light quickly got to his hooves like a fucking ninja. Light looked around for a moment before spotting Tony holding up a pair of scissors and snipping a few more bits of fishing wire. “... Still a ninja!”
“Sure you are, Light. Sure you are.” Sparks said while walking over to Tony and extending a hoof. “I don’t believe we were able to be properly introduced. I am Golden Sparks, and that is my partner Bright Light. Personally I call him Dim Light since he's …” a crate near light exploded into fireworks and confetti as he opened it, “... Light what the fuck did you do this time?”
“I swear I thought it was the plan crate!” Light said while turning towards the two with his face singed from the fireworks.
“Plan crate? The fuck you have a plan crate for?” Tony asked while looking towards Sparks who shrugged.
“We keep a crate with plans to catch those two humans that appeared. I believe they are perfect specimens to study while Light…”
“I'm abso-fricken-lutely sure that they have rare and powerful magic that can only be activated by fucking a snake!” Light said completely straight faced. Tony face palmed so hard he almost smacked his SUPER HORSE MASK ™ off.
“Tony, I hate asking this on your first day, but can you head into town for us? I’d ask Light but…” Another crate exploded with confetti. “...He’s busy.”
“Celestia dammit! Why do we even have these?! I'm not that pink lunatic! I don't need explosive confetti stuffed into my body!” Light yelled after the smoking confetti cleared
“She’s storing them here and she’s paying so deal with it.” Sparks turned to Tony, “We just need some poison joke and something else that the writers don't know. Screw you for writing this and not having any ideas for it!” A lightning bolt struck the ground outside despite no storms being scheduled, almost as if someone was reminding the foolish mortals of something, or Rainbow Dash fucked up again. Probably the latter.
“I don’t see why not. I’ll be back in an hour or two.” Tony said before pushing open the remains of the door and walking out of the workshop. Just as he was leaving another explosion sounded out from within accompanied with a loud “DAMMIT LIGHT!”
“Weird horses.” Tony said to himself as he took off his masked and wiped some sweat off of his forehead. “That damn thing gets too hot!” Tony began to walk a worn down dirt path that lead back to Ponyville where he expected to find Lucas doing something either stupid or dangerous, or both. He clasped his hands together and prayed that it wasn’t dangerously stupid. There was no mercy to be had for Tony, or maybe praying didn't work in this horse hell.
As Tony arrived in town he put his mask back on and walked towards the fountain where he told his friend to wait for him. Not more than five minutes later did a shirtless man holding roman candles come rolling down the hill wearing another horse mask. He rolled down the street singing:
“Oh I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, everybody’s nerves, I know a song that gets on everybody’s nerves, and this is how it goes!” He proceeded to repeat the same verse over and over in an endless cycle of pure annoying that would drive a hardened war veteran to tears. Ponies were running away from him, partially in terror of the Roman candles he held, and partially to escape the unbearable annoyance.
“GOD DAMN IT LUCAS!” Tony yelled as the man rolled by at full speed.
“Asshat! I told you to stay at your post!” Lucas exclaimed outraged. Tony facepalmed again which resulted in his horse mask being squashed in. A few ponies, seeing this cried out in horror as they thought he broke his muzzle.
“Can you be serious for two fucking minutes Lucas!”
“Can you find a stopwatch Commander?” Lucas challenged, stopping his barrel joyride and rocking back and forth on top of it instead.
“Stop calling me Commander Asshat and just listen. I Finally got the job with those two that keep trying to trap us. One thinks we fuck snakes for some weird magic.” Tony said while pulling out the list Golden Sparks handed him. At the bottom of the list it told him to go the moon and fucking steal some of Luna’s space cheese, and bring back to Light for ‘analysis’. “Damn it, I think he gave me the wrong list.”
“Oh! Gimme!” Lucas said as he impulsively grabbed the letter, read it and burned it with one of his fireworks, accidentally of course.
“Lucas. I’m going to go and get the right list. I want you to put on a shirt and act like a sane individual before I get back or I’m taking back my horse mask.” Tony threatened. He of course wasn’t serious as that would take away his only real friend, but that didn’t mean Lucas knew that.
“But I'd be dissected by the horse illuminati! And that'd put an end to the free world of AMERICA!” Lucas said ranting like a madman, which he was by some definitions. “Or some shit like that.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that and just leave. If Lyra asks, don’t tell her where I am for the love of god.” Tony said as he started walking back in the direction of Spark’s and Light’s workshop. Not more than five minutes later did the Mint colored unicorn walk into Tony’s view. “Don’t see me, don’t see me, please don’t see me.” Tony thought to himself when she waved at him. “Damn.”
“Hey Tony! I had a great idea on how to catch those human things! We use gloves!” Lyra said excitedly as she walked up to Tony. He looked down at her with a questioning look that she couldn't’ see through the mask. She thought that his unchanged expression meant to continue with her plan. “They have hands, and you know what else has hands? Minotaurs! Maybe if we leave some gloves out they’ll-”
“I’m going to stop you there. That wouldn't work on them...that wouldn’t work on both of them. They are just as intelligent as you-us ponies. Do you really think they want to be hunted down like this?” He asked. Tony would ask this question quite often and every time her answer would be-
“Maybe not, but they could lead to scientific breakthroughs! Imagine what we could learn from them and their hands. Maybe even their hoof hands!” Lyra said excitedly with thoughts of awards and fame from discovering a whole new species.
“Firstly, hoof hands are feet. Secondly, have you ever thought of just asking them to help you?”
“Nope!”
“Of course not. You’re just like those guys I’m working for now. Only in it for fame.” Tony said while rolling his eyes. A few moments later Lucas rolled over Lyra with his barrel before yelling “Sorry” and speeding off in a random direction. “You want a hand up?”
“What?” Lyra asked confused.
“You want a hoof up?” Tony repeated. Lyra nodded and shook her head until her eyes spun in circles.
“Sorry, For a minute I thought you said hand. Crazy, right?” She said with a grin and a small laugh. Lyra grabbed Tony’s hand and slowly go to her hooves. “So, about that glove idea-”
“Bye Lyra.” Tony said resisting the urge to flip her the bird. Not that she would know what it meant, but it would be somewhat therapeutic at least. It had been months since Tony had been able to tell someone exactly what he thought since doing that now would blow his cover. His very horse looking cover, and Lucas wasn't a very good listener.
Tony turned on his heel and marched back through town to Sparks and Light’s workshop to get the actual list, instead of Light's and because that's in ashes. Oh well, not his problem. Soon he arrived back at the building, housing, Light and Sparks operation. He knocked on the door to their “office” if it could even be called that and walked in saying: “Uh, hey. You guys gave me the wrong list, and it got burnt to a crisp. Don't ask.”
Bottles could be heard breaking from the other side of the door and eventually it flew open with a very burnt Sparks on the other end. His fur was singed and he smelled like soot and kerosene.
“I won't ask if you don’t. I also realized I gave you the wrong list shortly after you left. Here is the right list.” Sparks said while pulling out a piece of paper that was on fire yet not burning to a crisp. “Do not ask.” he repeated. Tony grabbed the paper and pressed out the flames.
“I was doing chemistry to make a magic substitute, but turns out nitroglycerin doesn't like being dropped. And hydrogen doesn't play well with air.” Light said removing the scuba goggles from his face, leaving a patch that was perfectly clear from the explosive reaction which had shot his mane up in an Afro-like explosion of straight ends all sticking up.
Tony and Sparks simply stared at the hair bomb that had went off in Light’s scalp. Tony was trying to hold back from laughing at his misfortune while Sparks had an annoyed expression. “What?” Light said in confusion, failing to notice his new style, but picking up on the expressions on his colleagues faces.
“Light, your mane.” Sparks stated flatly.
“What about it?” Light said cluelessly.
“How do I say this in a way you’ll understand?”
“It looks like a rat moved into your hair and made a nest, had a few kids, and went through a midlife crisis.” Tony chipped in.
“Oh good! It worked!” Light said excitedly while flashing his new hairdo. Sparks and Tony both facepalmed in unison. There was a great disturbance in the force on that day, totally unrelated to the amount of facepalms. Tony facepalmed hard enough to knock his mask off leaving his true self revealed! Dun dun duunn!
“Holy horse heretical heroine!” Light exclaimed in alliteration.
“Tony!” Sparks exclaimed before Tony quickly put the mask back on. “Oh thank Celestia, one of those humans just appeared and it was scary!”
“It was terrifically terrifying and terribly… I can't think of anything else.” Light said with a shrug.
“Come on, he couldn’t have been that scary.” Tony said while trying to not lose all hope for horse peoples intelligence. It was a losing battle.
“I’ll talk to you later Tony but until then…” Sparks looked towards Light, and the partiality burnt and broken table Light had been working at. “I’m going to have to fix his mane so it doesn’t catch on fire...again.”
“Okay, I think I'll just be going then.” Tony said and carefully walked out of the room backwards. He breathed a sigh of relief when he closed the door behind him. “Why am I always fearing spontaneous combustion when I'm in there?” He wondered to himself.
As Tony walked back towards the town itself he started to smell something burning, which was becoming an all too common event. Now that he thought of it his foot felt kind of hot too. Looking down, he realized his fear of combustion was completely reasonable as his foot, well more his shoe, was on fire! “Well damn,” He said calmly before walking over to a random water puddle and dipping his foot in. “This hurts like hell.” He finished, still shockingly calm. Probably a side effect of having to put up with Lucas.
Speaking of Lucas, he was currently rolling down the hill at the speed of sound picking up rings. While not far from the truth, he wasn't really. Instead he was rolling down a hill out of control smacking his head over and over. Strangely enough he didn't seem all that bothered. Instead…
“I'm siiiiinnngggg in the blood raaaiiiiinn! What a wonderful feeling I've got as the viscera falls down arrrooouunnd meeee!” He yelled ruining a perfectly good 1950’s song. As Lucas was rolling by on what remained of his barrel Tony grabbed him resulting in the barrel flying away and crashing into a wall, exploding into many wooden splinters.
“Hey!” Lucas complained, “I was in the middle of a musical number!”
Tony just kept dragging him along, “Too bad, we'll get copyrighted if you continued anyway.” He told him breaking the fourth wall. “Now I need your help getting everything on this list.” He said while holding up the actual list this time. “Try not to burn it like the last one, okay?” He said pleadingly.
“Why would I do that? The first time was to drive the narrative forward” He said peeking through the crack in the fourth wall that was quickly cemented over by Pinkie, because only she can break the fourth wall more than twice.
“Just… Help. For once, I'm begging you here.” Tony pleaded with the look an extremely tired person who'd put up with so much bullshit in a small amount of time. Lucas thought about it for a moment before grabbing the list and ripping it in half.
“I’ll get what’s on this half, don’t worry about it.” Lucas said trying to put Tony’s mind at ease.
“Thanks Lucas...I know I’m an ass sometimes, but all this is just...all this.”
“Yeah, it's a lot, but you're the esteemed Commander Asshat who fought through the Great Hipster Invasion of 2012!” Lucas said returning to his normal essentrics. “This is nothing compared to that! You'll make it through!”
“You’ve got a point, though dealing with lunatics in beanies and horse people might be a bit different than that though.”
“Eh, same principle, offend and run.” Lucas said with a shrug and a slightly manic grin. Tony took a step backwards from Lucas as he did not want to be maimed in anyway by him and his grin.
“Alright, we’ll meet back here in an hour. Okay?” Tony said as he looked at the list to see exactly what the first thing he needed would be.
“Sir, yes, sir Asshat!” Lucas said, saluted, and sped off through town.
“STOP CALLING ME- oh nevermind, he’s gone.” Tony said shaking his head in exasperation. “First thing I need is some...Poison joke? Maybe he meant to write Oak?” he said while scratching his head and looking around until he saw a zebra in a brown cloak. “Oh, one of the only sane things around! Maybe she can help me.” Tony thought to himself.
“No, that was no mistake, it is poison joke that you must take.” The cloak clad zebra stated. The rhyming caused Tony to mentally slap himself over forgetting that Zecora did that, but she gave no fucks about him or Lucas so he could bear with it.
“Mind telling me what poison joke is Zecora? One of your weird voodoo plants?” Tony asked oblivious to the fact that what he said could easily be perceived as incredibly insulting to Zecora.
“You may want watch how you use your tongue lest trouble your way comes.” Zecora said, pointing out the question’s some offensive nature.
“Sorry, I forget about that being offensive since I use it to describe things I don’t understand...like black magic fuckery!” Tony exclaimed, just digging himself deeper into the hole he had made for himself.
“The magic which I practice is in no way dark, it is of healing, the shaman’s art.” Zecora said again proving that Tony could be a dumbass in social situations.
“I wasn’t saying your stuff was dark, Zecora. I was saying I use the saying for things I don’t understand like I don’t know… Lucas. That man is the embodiment of black magic fuckery!” Tony stated.
“I didn't think that he was a necromancer, he seemed more like an insane street dancer.” Zecora said with a confused look, trying to imagine the mad human performing dark rituals. It took some work.
“He’s not, It’s an expression I made up. Black magic is complicated and hard to understand so I call things that are complicated and hard to understand black magic fuckery.” Tony tried to explain to the confused Zebra.
“That's a rather odd expression, and I believe you wanted to ask me a question?” Zecora said.
“Oh right, do you know where any poison Joke is?” Tony asked.
“I do indeed, there are patches on the outer parts of the Everfree. But do take care, if you touch them the effects are sure not to let you be.” Zecora warned him.
“Yeah yeah, thanks Zecora.” Tony said while rolling his eyes as he started walking away. “I’ll talk to you when I see you later today.”
“I wonder why the other always calls him asshat, asshole is a what comes to mind whenever we chat.” Zecora muttered shaking her head.
“Of course I offended her again. When don’t I?” Tony asked himself as he walked to the outskirts of town. “Of course I’d be like that to the only one that doesn’t give a flying fuck about the humanity thing.”
Tony continued to walk until he finally arrived just outside of some creepy looking trees and a small opening leading into darkness.”Eh, I’ve seen worse.” He said as he walked in to begin searching for some Poison Joke.
Awhile later he came across the blue flowers and grabbed a bunch, using his shirt as a makeshift basket. Tony however was not smart enough to use that shirt to pick any of the flowers instead of his bare hands.
“I thought she said there was something wrong with touch them, probably some cultural thingy or something.” He said with a shrug. “Well, I need them so whatever...wait a minute,” Tony put two and two together, “These still are poisonous….shit.”
He quickly dropped all of the flowers and jumped into the stream that was nearby, making quite the splash. “Nope, nope, nope, not getting all itchy and shit over this!” He practically screamed, remembering several run ins with poison ivy. That plant was just… EVIL! Grass demon it is.
“Alright, there is one of two things I can do here. I can leave and try to find something to carry this stuff back with or I can just use my shirt again and try not touching it.” Tony thought to himself as he went into deep thought. Thinking was always a dangerous activity, but deep thoughts was near fatal.
“Shirt it is, I don’t want to have wasted my time coming here.” Tony said and pulled his shirt off over his head and used it to carefully pick up and carry the leaves. He silently prayed that no one would notice that he wasn’t wearing his mask as he did not want to have to run away today.
When he reached the edge of the Everfree night has fallen, and the sky was blanketed with unfamiliar stars. Upon seeing this he sighed, homesickness overtaking him.
“I miss you guys.” He whispered to himself as he kept on walking back towards Light and Sparks workshop.
He eventually reached the door and knocked on it with the tip of his shoe, forgetting that he wasn't wearing his mask.
“Where have you been To- OH CELESTIA THE HUMAN IS HERE!” Sparks shouted in panic causing Tony to mentally facepalm. As well as flinging the leaves at Sparks and ran, tearing through the street to find his, oh so desperately needed, SUPER HORSE MASK™.
As Tony ran through the middle of town like a dumbass, multipole ponies who worked night shifts saw him and quickly took cover. Sparks and Light however were close behind him with nets and...a snake…
He kicked it into high gear, pumping his legs pistons in time with his arms. He bolted away from the Snake of Ultimate Hissingness and towards an alleyway, which he ducked into and tore through turing rapidly in random directions in hopes losing his pursuers.
Ironically enough, turning left in an alley lead him into a brick wall as well as turning right. What cruel person put those in front of his escape?! They're obviously terrible monsters for doing so.
“Fffuuuuucccckkkk.” He said drawing out the curse in his frustration and nervousness. As the two crazy ponies known as his employers finally cornered Tony he found his SUPER HORSE MASK™ hanging out of his pocket. “HOW THE HELL DID I NOT SEE THAT!” 1He thought loudly.
Quickly snatching the mask he yanked it over his head and realized the flaw in his great escape plan. He put it on backward.
“OH CELESTIA, TONY!” Sparks shouted as he looked in horror at his new employee with a severely broken neck.
Tony, sensing opportunity, made a dead sounding gargling noise. “OH CELESTIA, HE’S A ZOMBIE PONY!” Sparks shouted in complete and utter terror and hysterics!
“I’m fine! See.” Tony said while fixing his ‘head’, causing Sparks to throw up.
“I’m sorry Tony, but you can’t do that in this business! You’re fired.” Sparks said rather quickly. He did that more out of pure crazy rather than logic. And a little bit of assholeishness and being disturbed at what had just happened.
“You’re firing me over fixing my ma-head! I said head!” Tony corrected.
“Yes and no, but mostly yes.” Sparks said flatly.
“Well fuck you too then.” Tony said spitefully giving him the finger with both hands.
“Why are you sticking your hooves up at me like that?” Sparks asked before Tony gave up and stormed out of the building. “FUCK YOU AND FUCK YOUR TROPHY!”
Light looked down at the floor and simply muttered: “But I worked so hard to get that trophy.” He seemed rather sad about it.
After storming out of the office, Tony pulled the sign out of the rotting wood that held it up and realized exactly what he had just done and a frown crossed his face. “How am I going to tell Lucas?
“Tell me what, Captain Asshat?” Lucas asked hanging from a nearby tree branch
“I may have gotten fired and now I can’t figure out how they’re going to chase us next time.” Tony said with a frown.
“Really? Cause it looks like all you did was screw with their sign.” Lucas said completely straight faced.
“No puns or jokes eh? Well, I decided to do something you would and mess with them when my mask got turned around. Sparks did not like that one bit and fired my ass.”
Lucas scowled, an extremely rare occurrence, and said: “That's the most bullshit reason to fire someone, and believe me I would know, I've been fired so much I could get fired from being fired.” He told Tony.
Tony cracked a smile, “Why would they fire you from that? You’re pretty good at it.”
“They were jealous o’ my sk1llz!” He said in a nasally voice.
“OH MY GOD!” Tony yelled before laughing his ass off, “Key board warriors, UNITE!”
“Wait a minute that's it!” Lucas shouted and grabbed Tony by the shoulders, “We'll join a union!”
“Do they even have unions here?” Tony asked with genuine curiosity.
“Hell if I know, I'll go check.” He said and stopped a passing mini horse to ask him. After a really short conversation he came back and said, “Nope, apparently workers rights are really well enforced here.” He said as he reached into his pocket.
“I blame our economy!” Tony said before looking up at the stars again, “You mind if I ask you something?”
“No, why? And if it's a marriage proposal, sorry not interested.” He said with a grin.
Tony smiled at that before his serious expression returned, “Do you think we’ll ever go home?”
“Sure, if I can find the right coordinates.” He said tapping at a small metal box he had pulled out of his pocket.
“Alright, M.r spaceman. Just because you were an astronaut doesn’t mean you have all the answers.”
“You're right, but a degree in trans-dimensional physics does.” He said bullshiting his way to victory.
“Yeah, yeah...You know, you’re really fucking annoying but you’re still my best friend.”
“If I wasn't annoying you, you wouldn't find my jokes funny, and I just wouldn't be doing my job then would I?” He said still tapping away at the device in his hands.
“I suppose they wouldn’t be anymore. So, you want to go get spotted and fuck with those two for revenge?” Tony asked with an evil grin going across his face.
“I'm surprised you felt the need to ask!” Lucas said, as a grin just as devious, and a little manic, spread across his face.
“Let’s go then!” Tony cried in delight as they ran through Ponyville with huge grins across their faces, laughing all the way. And like fireworks and matches they wrecked havoc on Light and Sparks, and set off many colorful explosions.
Elsewhere a pink pony grinned as all the things she had been storing served their purpose in sweet, sweet revenge.
Author's Note
This took us forever to write, but it's finally done! Sorry I haven't been updating very much lately but life has gotten in the way really often. Mix that with a lack of interest and we're here. Hopefully I can keep writing one shots until I want to continue one of my bigger stories. Enough about me though,
I would like to thank oh hi there for helping a lot with the comedy in this story as he was brilliant with that! Seriously, he was a genius when it came to pulling off some of the jokes in this story, but I digress. Thank you all for reading and I hope to see you all next time!