Chapter Five: Jump Three, Over One

The void. He who gazes into the abyss for long shall have the abyss gaze into him.

Or something like that. I don't know, I don't remember. Everything is too fuzzy. It hurts, thinking. I feel like screaming, in... something. Rage? No. That's not the right emotion. Nothing is. I'm constrained, tied down, unable to move, to think, to breath.

My eyes snap open as I struggle against the bindings. Thick, rust-red chains dig into my arms, leg, and neck as I struggle against them, a pained whine slipping from my lips, sparks from a burning fire leaping out from below my feet.

I'm chained to something, and it's holding me up like I'm about to be crucified. I'm told it's a horrible way to die, and the very thought forces me to struggle more, the chains pulling tighter.

“This isn't how it's supposed to be.”

I can't respond to the voice, nor the sounds of footsteps walking around me as the figure whispers, her voice low and husky as it moves behind me.

“Such a pretty little Nightmare. Oh you're just boundless. So much energy... one might think you'd make a perfect playtoy for that mismatched amalgamation of beings, yet all he wants is for you to die.”

Her voice sounds almost... excited, on the verge of sexual. It makes me want to struggle more, to escape, to flee. Another choked whimper escapes me before the chains tighten greater, digging into my neck and strangling me as I suddenly start to sink towards the fire.

“Don't worry... maybe I'll save you, and you'll be my playtoy... wouldn't that be nice?”

I panic, trying to cry out for help, for someone, anyone to save me when I see the twinkle of stars as my vision starts to cut out... and the fire's upon me.

-May 4th, 2020. 0013-

I cry out in anguish as I almost leap out of my bed, my hand clutching at my hammering heart and tears streaming down my face as my head pounds from suddenly getting up and becoming lightheaded and my waking nightmare. It was too much. I slumped back down as the world spun, sobbing, gripping at anything close to me as I tried to calm down.

Something wrapped around me, hugging me from behind, a head pressed into my back and a soft female voice whispered soothing words, promising me everything was going to be OK. I was alright. It was just a dream. Just a nightmare.

The words slipped from my mouth before I could even think anything else. “N-no momma, It was The Nightmare.” I whimpered out before the world fell away, barely registering the gasp as I fainted back into a world without sensations.

-May 4th, 2020. 0600-

“Is... is he ok, Redheart?”

Danny's voice slipped into my mind as I slowly started to awaken, my head still pounding and a momentary thrill of fear sliding into my veins as my nightmare hit me again, causing me to shiver from head to toe as my body reacted, forcing me up into a sitting posture as I groped for the Thompson that wasn't there.

A hoof softly pressed into my arms, holding them in place. “Easy there Pony-boy. You had a really bad nightmare. You need to calm down.” The soft, lifting voice I was starting to associate with Brick filtered into my head as I slowly opened my eyes, hissing a bit at the light from my bedside lamp filtering into my eyes, turning a bit as something pushed into my back and got me sitting, the hoof softly rubbing my shoulder.

“A hand doesn't work for rubbing shoulders anymore?” I mutter in a daze, still gripping at my shirt from the other day. Ugh... I sweated like a pig, the thing's dripping off of me.

“No hands to do so. So you'll deal with it Pony-boy.” Brick snorts as I frown in confusion before turning my head to the left to look at her. What I find shocks me, but after the rest of the crap that's happened so far, isn't really surprising.

A creamy white mare with a light pink mane and a red-cross on her flank is sitting next to me, her right forehoof rubbing my left shoulder as she sits next to me on the bed. A moment later I let out a huff of air as a slightly smaller bundle of brown slams into my gut, forcing the air from the lungs with a WHUFF and hugging me hard around the waist. “Big brother, you're ok! You were crying and screaming and I didn't, I couldn't wake you up!”

Danny was sobbing as he hugged me, and I quickly hugged the little colt back even as I gasped for air, a few moments of getting my air back passing before I could look him over. He was fully equine now, as was Brick. A very impressive four-point compass was on his flank, and he was burying his muzzle into me as best he could. I sighed, and shivered at the reminder of my dream.

“It's ok Danny. It... it was just Nightmare. That's all.” I mutter, getting a sharp look from Brick after saying so.

“Right. Come on, get dressed and come out to the living room. I was able to get the bug out bags loaded and set up and the mags for the weapons filled before... this.” She looks at herself with a disgruntled snort, obviously unhappy with the hooves before she stands up next to me, looking me in the eye.

“You need to shower. You reek. And it'll help you calm down.” She says. I roll my eyes as I glare back.

“Whatever you say Nurse.” I grumble before patting Danny's back. He sniffs and lets go of me before getting up to his... hooves, picking up the Luna plush with his mouth and running out of the room. As I shifted to get out of bed, Brick followed, and as I was getting a new shirt and boxers and making my way to the shower, I could hear a mostly quieted conversation take place.

“Is he ok?” That had to be Shining. Too deep to be Danny.

“He'll be fine once he cleans himself up. That must have been some nightmare...” There's Brick again. Still weird to hear that female voice.

“Does he often have night-terrors like that Pipsqueak?” Twilight. Inquisitive and intelligent from the tone of voice.

“N-no. Not since I was really little. He had a nightmare once and Momma woke 'em up and comforted 'im like she did fuh me all the time.” Danny informs, making me shake my head a bit as I close the door and start up the shower.

I remember that night pretty well. I was seven. I don't remember what the nightmare was about, but it was a rough one... I was a monster, and I had done something really, really bad, or something like that. Mom had been there, and softly rocked me in her arms. I frown a bit as I step into the warm water.

I don't remember a lot about my mother honestly. I know that sounds horrible, but with her job, being a writer and all, she didn't really spend a lot of time with me before Danny was adopted, and a lot less once he was there. But she was scary intelligent, and always told me I was destined for something greater one day. She told me something that day I've always hung onto, especially for helping Danny with his nightmares.

'Those who fight Monsters can become Monsters themselves, but becoming a Monster doesn't make you one.'

Weird thought, isn't it? But I like it. I feel like it means even if you're a monster, you can keep fighting monsters to keep others safe. Just like keeping my promise.

Just like being a McCloud.

I leave the shower a few minutes later, feeling much refreshed as I retie my long hair into it's usual ponytail, snorting in amusement at the relevance of the name of my hairstyle, my nickname, my job, and the current situation, and throw on the new boxers and shirt, an old teeshirt of the Elements of Harmony. Not the actual mares, the circle-and-gem symbol thing. Danny bought it for me for my twenty-fifth birthday. Funny time to be pulling that out of my dresser, but whatever. I throw it on non the less, and walk back to my bedroom, pulling on my jeans, new socks, my boots, and my jacket, double-checking my holster as I go.

Good to go. For now.

I step out again and walk into the Cave, looking around at the ponies, who are all shifting and looking a bit awkwardly at one another, like they're not quite sure what to talk about, especially now that I'm in the room.

I sigh and let myself slump into the couch like the big lump I am, looking around and then sitting up a bit, deciding to open the conversation. “So. Human names or Pony names? You never answered me last night. And Danny, I don't care how many times you say it, you're still my little brother and I'll call you what I please.” I smirk at the pout on the pinto colt's face. Gods that's cute. Sure, he might be a grown adult, but he looked like a teenage colt at the moment, and it's still cute.

“Pony. Simpler, not confusing, easy to remember, and frankly, a bit more comfortable at the moment.” Rarity says, looking elegant and dignified, even if she's laying on my couch.

“Ok, fair enough.” I say with a shrug, looking each one of them in the eye before looking at my table. The jewelry case is laying there, open, the Elements all in place. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly before asking the million dollar question.

“So. What now?”

Silence. It's awkward and unsettling, because really, no one knows what to do right now. There's no real plan, our timeline is getting really, really short, an interdimensional being is trying to kill me and have me take the Elements with me when I go, and people are turning into candy-colored equines. So we've got that going for us. Twilight bites her cheek a bit before speaking up, breaking the silence, “We need to find Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy. The Elements need to be together, and I fear for their safety. On top of that, we need to find somewhere to... hide? Make a last stand? I don't know!” She throws up her forehooves in exasperation, and lets out an annoyed whinny before hanging her head.

“I'm going to kill that thought now.” I say firmly, sitting up and leaning forwards, thumping my hand down on the table. “There will be no last stands. Not here. Not now. Not ever. Last stands are for people who don't plan for escape routes. We are going to get out alive. Maybe not unharmed, but damn it, I don't care if that mismatched freak decides to poke his head in through my front door, he ain't gettin' Danny, the Elements, or any of you.”

I look each of them in the eye, making sure they're paying attention, even the slightly bouncing Pinkie Pie, and after a few moments, I sit back again. “Of course, that being said, I really don't know what else we can do at the moment... what I really need right now is a list.”

“A list?” Twilight perks right up and Shining Armor face hooves, muttering low enough that I almost missed that he said anything, “Oh now you've done it.”

“A packing list and a to-do list. The bug-out bags and weapons are set for the most part, but food, general supplies, possibly for camping...” I confirm, trailing off in thought for a moment, unaware of what I was about to get myself into before Twilight's horn lights up, making me look at her in confusion before my hand is wrapped in purple magic and I'm tugged to my feet and forwards after the prancing purple pony.

“Come on! There's a list to be made~!” She sing-songs as I stumble after her.

… And then it hit me that I just told Princess Twilight 'OCD' Sparkle I wanted to make a list. Even me, the non-brony, knew exactly what list making with Twilight Sparkle entailed.

Someone, anyone, save me!

-May 4th, 1005-

For the love of whatever anyone believes in, make it stop! PLEASE! I finally snap as Twilight starts filling out yet -another- piece of paper with a ballpoint pen, trotting back and forth with a clipboard held in her aura as she chatters away about 'triple-double checking the checklist, check!'. We've been at it for FOUR HOURS.

Enough was Enough. “TWILIGHT!” I barked, and that seem to jolt her into paying attention, and made her turn her violet eyes on me, blinking owlishly.

I take a deep breath, feeling myself wind up to start yelling at her, before it all just slumps out of me in a deep sigh. I don't really want to yell at her, I just want her to stop! “Twilight, I know you mean well, but we don't have time for a million-and-one lists. At this point, I just need to make a simple list to glance at. We're going to be leaving my apartment, today or tomorrow.” I say, glancing at the other lists that Twilight made while my little brother entertained my guests with, you guessed it, pony episodes and movies.

I could still feel the headache that Pinkie Pie's incessant, high pitched chattering, singing, often bringing Shining Armor and Danny, and surprisingly, Brick into it as well (and I note that Brick has a lovely soprano, and Danny does too, though I think he was a bit put out when Pinkie pointed it out), had brought on as I found myself trying to understand what she was chattering about on top of listening to Twilight drone on about how important lists and good planning is. 'Proper Planning Prevents Properly Poor Performance' after all.

AUGH NOW IT'S STUCK IN MY HEAD MAKE IT STOP!

“I need. Two. Lists. List one- The 'Split' Bags, which will contain all the traveling stuff, any paperwork I don't burn, and the contents of my armory, and List two- The Plan. Immediate to long term.” I say quietly, aware that Twilight is still looking at me with wide eyes, as if she's shocked at me for interrupting her.

“But... isn't that what I've been doing?” She says, gesturing with a hoof to her clipboard and my kitchen table, where papers are spread all about.

“I know, I know, but this is too much! I can't do anything with this, and I'm barely able to follow where you're going with your planning, Twilight. I'm a Courier! I know how to fight, I know how to negotiate, I know how to protect and keep my family safe. I follow very simple, easy to make and easier to modify plans, because most of the time, my plans go awry and I have to make it up on the fly anyway. And the easiest way to make a easy to modify plan that maximizes the chances of keeping myself and Danny safe is to follow the KISS principle.” I explain, noting her shocked expression has slowly moved into a more moderate, confused and curious expression, which was quite adorable, as she actually cocked her head slightly to the left, much like a puppy.

“What's the kiss principle?” She asks, keeping her head cocked. Gods that's cute. Wish I could take a picture.

“Not 'kiss'. KISS. More emphasis on it. It's an acronym which means 'Keep It Simple, Stupid.' In short, it's a reminder that super complex plans don't work unless everyone can keep up with it, so the simpler your plans, the more idiot proof they are, the more idiot proof they are, the more flexible the plan can be.” I decided that being blunt would probably be the best way to word this particular argument, and it seemed like I was right.

The purple mare blinks at me, and then slowly nods her head. I can almost see the gears spinning behind her eyes as she considers what I said and then sighs, hanging her head a bit. “I'm sorry, I guess I got a bit carried way.”

I give her a wry smirk, and drawl, not quite unkindly, but very sarcastically, “Naw, ya' think?” I chuckle at her pout, a wave a finger back and forth. “It's not that I don't appreciate the help, but as a general rule, the more complex the problem is, and the more pieces involved, the better a simple plan works for solving the problem.”

I cross my arms, unaware that Twilight had pulled out a new piece of paper as I continued lecturing, closing my eyes and listening to the clip-clopping of hooves. “For example, at this point in time, our primary objective, without fail, is survival. The Elements of Harmony, on top of you, your brother, Miss Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Bri... Nurse... Redheart and... Pipsqueak's survival is critical.” I slap my fist into my hand as if I had just realized something to emphasize the point.

“Well, I'm quite glad you think so highly of our survival, Mr. McCloud, but Darling, if I may be so bold... what of you?” I open my eyes at the high-class tones of Rarity as the white-furred unicorn looks at me from next to Twilight, softly tossing her mane a bit to rearrange it ever so slightly to keep herself looking fabulous, I assume. Or maybe just to keep the bangs of her mane out of her eyes. I don't think I'll ever be able to tell. Uber Classy women aren't my thing. Classy ponies doubly so.

I snort at her question and cross my arms. “What of me? Don't worry about it.” I wave a hand as if I'm passing on a art deal only to receive a scowl from the mare.

“Excuse me? Last I checked it is your home that is currently being occupied by six equines, one of them being your little brother and another your best friend notwithstanding, it doesn't change the fact that you're only involved because of us.” The classy mare points out, tipping up her nose a bit as her tone shifts to slightly annoyed.

I roll my eyes. “Lady, I'm gonna be real honest right now. I'm the expendable in this group. A high-value expendable, sure, because I can drive and do hand things, but ya'll seem to be capable of using that horn to do things that you did in the show, yeah?” I say, gesturing to Twilight. “Therefor, should a situation arise that someone or somepony needs to get left behind, the best option is always going to be me first.”

Twilight blushes, I'm not sure if in anger or embarrassment at me pointing her out specificity for being able to cast and use magic, and I don't care if I don't know what it is otherwise, it's magic till someone proves to me otherwise.

“Mr. McCloud-”

“Twilight, please, just call me Pony, or Michael. The only person who I know who's Mr. McCloud was my father, and every time someone calls me that, I look over my shoulder for him.” I say, making her twitch a bit and glare at me before I hold up my hand to stop the oncoming rant. “I insist. We're friends. Friends don't call each other Mr. or Ms. anything, right? They use each other's names or nickname.”

Rarity sighs. “We don't know each other well enough to classify ourselves as anything, Michael. We don't know you, and for all you might know of the show, which I don't even know enough about to say what's going on, you don't know us. Before or after...” She blinks, and circles a hoof, looking for a word to describe what has happened to her and the others.

“Ponification?” I supply, before crossing my arms and leaning back against my table. “And I agree on that. I don't know you. But that doesn't change the fact that my brother's the big fan, one of you ponified people, and more importantly, in danger from the fucker.” I growl, aware of the nasty scowl on my face as I think about Q... Discord, whatever the fuck he wants to call himself.

Classy-miss-makes-dresses huffs at me. “Such language is uncalled for Michael.”

“I feel it's warranted for the situation, Rarity.” I say, uncrossing my arms, my scowl deepening. “Think about it for a bit. You're a pony. A Pony! Hell, I'm fucking amazed that you all are as calm as you are right now, because I'm feelin' a bit like Alice down the gods-be-damned rabbit hole right now, only instead of a fucking white rabbit with a golden watch, I'm dealing with for all intents and purposes can be described as Frankenstein's abomination two-point-fuckin-oh! A FUCKING DEMIGOD OF CHAOS!” I'm yelling by the end of my rant, my fists clenched in rage and shaking.

“Pony-boy. Is everything ok?” Brick's voice yanks my attention away from Rarity and Twilight, making me look over to her to see the concerned faces of Danny, Pinkie, and Shining Armor. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, my hands unclenching as I let out my breath.

“... No. No it's not. But that's fine.” I grumble, shaking my head. “Come on, file in. We don't have time for this.” I turn to continue when I'm stopped by a mouth grabbing my right hand.

I turn and look down, and Danny's biting my hand. Not hard or anything, just gripping it, stopping me from doing anything before he lets go and looks up at me with big, soulful eyes. “Big Brother... please, stop it. You're panicking. You're always so strong and tough.” He whispers, so quiet that I'm straining to hear him even though I understand every word. “Mom n' Da knew you're better then lashin' out. We need your help. You need our help. Lets just talk it out.”

I pause, before looking around the room. Twilight's backed away from me, actually looking a little afraid from my outburst. Shining's moved over by her and is standing protectively in front of her and Rarity, who's moved over to Shining's side. Pinkie's just watching me, not moving surprisingly, and Brick's walked up up to me, standing next to Danny, and she softly wraps a foreleg around Danny's shoulders.

“Calm down Pony-boy. You're shaking.” Brick says calmly, gazing up at me. “Just sit down, lets talk like adults, and make a real plan, not discussing dying or otherwise. The Mob doesn't know yet, and we've got till the eighth till anyone really starts thinking about 'who is trying to fuck over the family.'”

“Language.” Rarity says again, making me snort before I sink down to the ground, sitting cross-legged, Danny quickly moving into my lap and snuggling up against me. I stroke his mane absentmindedly before letting out a sigh.

“Alright, lets talk then.” I say, looking around at the ponies. “For starters. Who are you four? Before all of this stuff.”

Twilight and Shining Armor looked at one another and Shining spoke up. “My name is... was... Rachel. I was a female college student.” He sits down. “Me and Tess, Twilight, shared a room. Twins. She's been my best friend since I could remember, and my sister before that... both here and in Equestria, maybe.”

Twilight follows up, sitting down next to Shining. “My name was Tess. Ditto to Rachel.” She doesn't say more then that, so I look to Rarity next.

Rarity sighs, and sits rather properly, looking graceful as she sits down. “My name was Tom. College Student, wealthy parents, and born into the upper class. I was male, and my father is quite the businessman. My parents... don't know about this.” She says.

Pinkie grins, bounding over and laying next to me, pressing against my leg. “I'm Harry! And Hairy! Heehe~” She giggles, making me roll my eyes before she continues, “But really, I'm Harry, I used to be a college student till I dropped out, I liked partying too much, adult parties more then Pinkie does, and best friend to Rachel and Tess! I used to have a peeny till I watched it shrink away to nothing and get replaced with me!”

I roll that little detail over in my head and then quickly shunt it out of my mind, deciding to ignore what she said about how she transformed out of my head. The less I know about that, the better for my sanity I believe.

“My name was Brick. I'm an Enforcer for the Irish Mob. I'm not the smartest around, but I know how to fight, I know how other people fight, and I know how to make them not fight anymore. I'm a decent medic, and I know a thing or two about how the human body works. And apparently about how ponies work, though these... images, memories, whatever they are, are vague.” Brick says, surprising the hell out of me because I think that's the most I've ever heard her tell anyone about herself in a single sentence, ever.

“My name was Danny! I'm a Brony, and my Big Brother is the strongest, toughest guy around! I work at the comic book store in downtown! Luna is still best princess!” Danny says with a firm voice and a serious face, making me chuckle.

Twilight smiles, shaking her head. “Luna to the end, huh Pipsqueak?”

I chuckle and nod in agreement. “Yeah, she's always been his favorite. I can understand why.” I smirk and nudge Danny, making him growl at me as I smirk at him teasingly.

The rest of the group looks at me before I shrug, speaking up again. “My name is Michael McCloud, and as stated before, call me Michael or Pony or Pony Express or whatever. I was, till this started, the top Negotiator, Gun/Drug/Item Runner and courier for the Irish Mob. I wasn't a brony. I'm not a huge fan of the show, I think Discord is a sick freak, and I don't fuck around when people threaten my family.” I say, leaning back with a huff.

“Now that we're acquainted, we need to know two things in particular.” Brick says, taking hold of the conversation. “First off, we need to know what everyone knows. So far, we've gotten that all of us have nightmares of the last episode, and see how the show ended differently, likely because we're seeing the different 'endings' of the ponies we've become... or are? I don't know.” She shakes her head, tossing it a bit to keep her mane out of her eyes. “The next thing we need to know... what in the hell happened to you last night Pony-boy?”

I blink. “Excuse me?” I ask frostily, gazing down at my friend. “What do you mean by 'what happened'? I had a nightmare Brick, it happens.”

Brick snorts softly before Shining Armor speaks up from next to Twilight and Rarity. “Redheart's right Michael. Twilight, could you go get the Elements?”

I raise an eyebrow, now confused as to where they're going with this, but sit and wait as Twilight turns and trots into my living room, quickly returning with the case with the Elements inside of it, floating it over to my lap softly. I look at the ponies, and then the case, and look up again, resisting the urge to snark out a 'Well? We're waiting!'.

“When you were looking at the Elements last night, you spaced out hardcore Pony-boy.” Brick says, poking my leg with a hoof. “Around half-way through your little blackout session, the Elements flared up and sparks started flying off of your fingers, as if you were getting shocked from them. After words, when we got your attention, no sparks, no marks on your fingers, no burn marks, nothing! So what happened?”

I blink and then scoff, flipping open the case to look at the Elements. “Just admiring the craftsmanship Brick. I don't know what you're talking about. I think I'd have noticed something like that.”

“Big brother... I don't think you were just admiring them.” Danny says quietly, making me glance at the colt with a light frown.

“But what you're all saying doesn't make sense. Sparks? The Elements glowing? Wouldn't I have noticed if it happened?” I say, sitting back with a huff before Pinkie bounces up to me.

“Well, why don't you try it!” She calls out with a grin, the rest of the Ponies reacting in the expected manner- negatively.

“Lets not, shall we?” Shining says, carefully pushing Twilight to the side as she's about to wind up into a rant, “I'm all for figuring it out, but there's too much we don't know to try to figure it out right now.”

“I'm with Shining Armor, Darling. It'd be nice to know, but at the moment, we have larger concerns, Pinkie.” Rarity cues in, and after a moment, Pinkie backs down with a sigh.

I groan and rub my head. “There's way too much we don't know, Rarity. And us continuing to go off topic, or forcing me into four-hour list making sessions-” I level a small glare here at Twilight, who at least has the decency to give me an embarrassed blush, “Is keeping us away from actively getting a move on and getting something done. Sitting around and talking is great, but to be honest, we've got a very short amount of time to solve a very large amount of problems.” I finish firmly, re-crossing my arms, the Element's case in my arms where it belongs as I look at the group.

“Now then... what does everyone know about this ponyfication business? I'll admit right out that I've got the least knowledge here. Danny... sorry, Pipsqueak, started to change after his birthday and a particularly whacked-out nightmare from me, on the 2nd.” I say, outright ignoring the questioning glances from everyone but Danny.

Danny nods. “Me n' my BBBFF were both born on the 1st! I was born in the afternoon, he was born really late in the night.”

This draws a very, very potent gaze from everyone, and more then a few startled expressions as I lean forwards, now curious as to what's causing the pause as the ponies look between one another before Brick breaks the silence. “I was born right near midnight on the 1st.” She murmurs, brushing her mane back from her face again.

“We were born on the 1st too.” Shining Armor confirms, looking at Twilight who nods in agreement, earning them a slightly shocked look from Danny and Brick.

“Me too, me too! We need a really, really big birthday party now!” Pinkie giggles, before Rarity sighs and simply nods her head as I sit back.

“... That... can't be a coincidence. How old are you all anyway?” I ask, casting a hand at the four ponies in front of me.

“Twenty Five.” They say almost at the same time, which makes a shock of ice roll down my spine.

I mouth the words before looking at Danny, who looks confused, and Brick, who is pondering this information before looking up at Twilight and the others, frowning for a moment before I realize that I'm the only one that seems to have gotten it. “Holy shit. Discord did it.” I say, slumping back a bit.

“Language! And what ever do you mean Michael?” Rarity scolds, making me roll my eyes as the group focuses on me.

“Five Score, Divided by Four. A 'score' is twenty. Five score is a hundred. Divided a hundred by four, twenty five. Five Score, Divided by Four.” I say, shaking my head. “That's what the whacked-out poem Discord barks out means.”

“Wait wait wait, let me get this straight. We're ponies because we turned twenty-five?” Shining says, looking a bit confused still.

Twilight takes over, shaking her head, looking a bit flustered now that she's gotten a hold of what I was trying to lay out. “No, he's saying we've always been ponies, but Discord's spell set us to live out a human life. That's what the whole spell says, almost explicitly.”

This makes the room fall quiet, again. Ugh, I'm actually starting to get really, really tired of these quiet pauses. It makes everything way too awkward, and I keep feeling like I'm sitting in the middle of a really bad movie or something. I look at the ponies, trying to gauge how they're taking things. Twilight seems the most surprised, if slightly chagrined? Huh, wonder what that's about. Five buck says she'll tell me.

Almost as if on cue, Twilight speaks up again. “How the buck didn't I make that connection before?! I mean, really! It's obvious once you think about it!” She rants, stomping a hoof.

I snort, leaning forwards. “Well, you recently got turned into a pony, discovered you can use magic, and watched a guy on a motorcycle with a sidecar get into a firefight with crazy motherfuckers in a unmarked black van wearing mismatched suits and carrying way more firepower then someone is supposed to reasonably get their hands on being gunned down by a partially ponified person with a fuckin' tommy gun. I'd say that kinda ruins your mental priorities a little bit.”

“Yeah! And of course there was also accidentally blowing up the comic shop when we stole the original manuscript for My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic!” Pinkie chimes in cheerfully, bouncing as she speaks, me nodding along in agreement before the words register and I look at her blankly.

“I... wait, what? WHAT?” I bark, looking at her in shock as Shining Armor hoof-faces, Rarity blushes and Twilight cringes, looking very sheepish. “What do you mean, 'BLEW UP THE COMIC SHOP? Stole the manuscript? What the fuck?!”

“Yeah! You didn't blow up my shop did you?!” Danny cries out, looking distraught before dashing out of the room, obviously going to look for his phone. Most likely wanted to see if the shop guys left any messages.

“It was a accident, honestly! We set off an alarm when we took the manuscript and I teleported, and it kinda... made everything implode. NOT EXPLODE, IMPLODE! There is a difference!” Twilight yells, still blushing hard as I palm my face in time with Brick, who facehoofs.

“Oh yeah, that really changes things there Twilight.” Brick snarks, looking over to me and raising an eyebrow. “Reminds me of that time you got into a shootout with that one Yakuza enforcer over if Asahi is a Beer or an Ale.”

And now it's my turn to blush, huffing a bit at that particular memory. Word of advice, if a guy doesn't speak English, don't argue over the few words he knows. One too many shots of Saki did NOT help that situation. Just... remember that next time you're in Japan, just saying.

“My experience with that punk aside, we're trying to grill these four right now Brick.” I growl at her, earning a cute giggle from her in response, which just makes me growl more before I sigh, hanging my head. “So, the fact that Asahi is a beer aside, explain yourselves. What the hell do you need that manuscript for? Why go to all the bother?”

“It's the original script darling, everything that Ms. Faust wrote when she wrote the series.” Rarity says, getting up to trot into my living room. “Just a moment, I shall return.”

I sigh, sitting back and waiting as Danny trots past Rarity, his phone in his mouth. He trots up to me and nudges me, and I take up the phone, quickly scrolling through his text messages.

Hmmm... a few more requests for him to come to a game night, a message about cats for some weird reason, and a joke about Ponies being real. I snort at that and shake my head, before glancing over to Danny, who's looking up at me with worried eyes. “Nothing about the shop blowing up Danny, I think your friends are ok.”

Danny sighs, looking relieved as he sits back down, and I set the phone on the table as Rarity trots back in, levitating a thick stack of paper that looks slightly worn but otherwise well preserved. “Here you are darling. The most important part of this is actually Ms. Faust's personal intro to the script. An Authoress note if you will.”

Twilight turns the pages over and then highlights the part she wants me to read with her magic. Impressive stuff with that horn for someone who had been using it for a few days. I glance down and start to read.

*“Over those years I had gone to many parties that her parents hosted. A few times I would break off from the rest of the adults and just play with this girl at her table. She was more than happy to show me her pony collection. She painted many of them to ‘look like they should’ as she put it, and then the girl would just spend an hour telling me all their traits, dozens of adventures they all went, and countless characters details. She even did voices for them and told me what most of them are supposed to sound like. She built such a vivid world that it really stuck with me. So, some ten years later when I’m in the Hasbro office, I start reciting some of the stories that girl came up with. I felt a little bad for the plagiarism, but the Hasbro execs loved it all. They told me to make episodes exactly like what I just described to them. I didn’t really want to just copy everything the girl said, but I sort of had to since I already put myself here. I was put in charge of hiring all the voice actors and picking their voices, designing all the characters’ looks, and writing the backbone for the whole show story. They told me other writers would fill in the details, but they wanted me to list out the overarching plotline. So here I am, and I can’t change any of the storyline now. For better or worse, it looks like I’m bringing life to the world this little girl told me about long ago.”
*[A/N- Directly copied from 5SD4.]

I whistle after reading it over, leaning back. “Wow. That's... that is really something. So 'Twilight'.” I glance over at the pony, who lets her horn dim after Danny and Brick finish reading. “What was Lauren Faust like in person? Or do you not remember her that well?”

Twilight blushes and shrugs a bit with her wings, flaring them a little. “She was really polite and loved hearing me tell her the stories. Or what I thought were stories. I guess they're my actual memories.”

I shake my head. “Guess that explains why the final episode cuts off with Twilight getting vanished by Discord... wait.” I pause, frowning. “How did you know what happened to Celestia?”

Everyone freezes at that, eyes going wide before the ponies start chattering at one another.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh he's right! Twilight wasn't there so-”

“I don't remember anything about that I jus-”

“Then there's still a chan-”

“This calls for a PARTY!”

“NO!” I bark out, silencing the room. “NO PARTIES! Not yet anyway! Come on, focus! I know that this is a really, really big deal and all but come on, focus in!”

The ponies all glance at one another and then slowly start to settle down as I sigh, pulling out two pieces of paper and settling them on the table in front of me before pulling out a pen, twirling it around my finger as I deem this the perfect time to actually write the objectives list I set out to make originally before we got so side tracked. “Alright, here we go.”

I start writing, the ponies slowly moving to gather around me to look at what I'm writing as I go, the piece of paper on the left being my 'Plan of Action'. It read as such-

-The Big Plan-

Phase one- Collection

-Collect the Elements: Twilight Sparkle [x] Applejack [ ] Pinkie Pie [x] Rarity [x]

Rainbow Dash [ ] Fluttershy [ ]

-Find/Discover the fate of: Princess Celestia [ ] Princess Luna [ ] Princess Cadenza [ ]

-Find Background/Low Priority Ponies.

Phase two- Fight or Flight

-Figure out how to Get Ponies back to Equestria

-Deal with Discord's Goons without getting killed.

-Secure a place for the ponies to hide from the Government, Mob, and whoever the fuck else.

-Rescue operations for captured ponies.

-Recruit friendlies?

Phase three-

???

Phase four-

-Profit.

-Discord Free Equestria, Ponies safe, Danny safe, Flowers and Sunshine and Rainbows for everyone, yaaaaaaaaaay.

I might have gotten a little sarcastic at the end. Maybe. Sue me, it's been a long day so far and I'm running really, really low on patience.

Brick snorts as she looks at the end of the list. “Really Pony?”

I snort back and lightly flick her ear with the tail-end of the pen, which causes her to flick her ear back at me with a unamused glance. “Absolutely. The sarcasm in particular, because if I don't, I'm gonna lose my mind.”

Twilight levitates the pen out of my hand and adds a note to my list under the Phase two- 'Discover what Michael's connection to the Elements of Harmony means.' “There. That actually seems quite adequate for planning if we're going to keep it simple, stupid.” She says, looking at me and sticking her tongue out.

I roll my eyes as I start scratching out a supplies list. “I don't suppose any of you know how to drive, do you? Or at least think they could manage with magic? Because I don't think I'll be able to fit all of you in my motorcycle, and we need a way to get all of you around, and a cover of some kind so that ya'll don't get pulled over by the Police.”

Rarity smiles wanly. “I think I have a solution to that darling. Maybe.”

I point at her. “Figure it, get some practice if you can, because if it works, we're rolling tomorrow, no later. We've got a lot to do, little time to do it, and the more time we spend here the more of a death trap it becomes. The Mob knows where my place is, most of the people who live here are Mob related, and it'll be all guns out the moment they figure out shit's gone tits up.”

Rarity nods and trots out as I glance down at the script and sigh before Brick take my pen out of my hand with her mouth and then nabs my other sheet of paper as well. “I 'ot 'ish.” She mutters through the pen and paper and trots out.

“I'll help you Redheart! Mr. Armor, you can help us pack too! My BBBFF can read the script and rest!” Danny says, leveling a little glare that was not only adorable but brokered no alternatives to his 'suggestion'. “Ms. Twilight can help him!”

“Oooh! I wanna see what Rarity's gonna do!” Pinkie croons as Shining turns to follow my little brother as he scampers off, following the two off them out with a bounce before I can say anything, and soon I'm left alone with Twilight, who's experimentally spreading and folding her wings.

I look over at her and shrug. “Whelp. I guess I'm no longer needed for my own plan.” I snort in amusement as I sit back. Twilight smirks at me as she spreads her wings once more and tucks them firmly into her sides.

“Well then, we can spend some time figuring out what was going on with the Elements!”

Oh joy, here we go again...

End Chapter

Author's Note

Eeyup, Two Weeks, about what I figured. Bi-weekly looks like how the schedule is going to be for the rest of the story, and if not, I promise to let ya'll know in advance.

Cheers. Comment and let me know what you think!