Pro at Cons: Schoolfed

“Don't stand up – just... uh, anyway you did already...” - grumbled the woman, taking a seat opposite to the man at the table in a small cafe; her face was effectively concealed with the hood of a black hoodie, casting a deep shadow from the dim light of a small lamp overhead.

“I know my manners around ladies, you know...” - shrugged the man, taking a seat. - “And rule number point-one says: 'A gentleman should rise from his place in the presence of a lady and greet her'”.

“Okay-okay, you're extremely well-behaved for a, uh...”

“Let's leave it there.” - the man deadpanned politely, accepting two cups of coffee he ordered beforehand and handing one to his guest. - “As I got it, you want me to run some errands for you, is that right?”

“Basically. Errands you're about to run are pretty... delicate.” - the lady rolled her eyes, taking a sip from her cup. - “Hmm, that was nice of you to order what I like most. Thank you.”

“Eh, nevermind. I do what's paying my bills, and I do good.” - the man flashed a smile from under his baseball hat shade. - “Anyway, back on the track: delicate errands? Like what?”

“I'll debrief you whenever I'll consider it necessary. Until then – mingle with the crowd. I mean, shake some hands, make some friends, hit on some girls, I dunno... get busy, long story short”.

“Got that... So, when do I begin?”

“Tomorrow morning, of course. Eight o'clock, come to the foyer and tell them you're the new one expected here; we want it nice and clean.”

“Got that. Eight o'clock, foyer, report to reception.”

“Yes, and do not forget your legend; it's a crucial part here.”

“Do not worry, Miss... Uhm, Ma'am...”

“Ma'am will do fine. So, thanks for the treat; I gotta go. I'm having a little busy evening ahead of me, and I don't want to be late.” - the lady stood up, strolling casually towards the exit. Standing in the arc, leading away from the alcove they've occupied, she turned around and smiled:

“Don't screw up. I have high hopes on you.”

“We'll see. Ma'am.” - replied the man, rising from the table and leaving money to cover the bill on the plate. - “No promises just yet – before the money talks.”

“That's the approach...” - praised the lady, walking away. - “Remember: eight o'clock – nice and clean.”

“Can do.” - replied the man, opening the door for a lady and bowing slightly. - “Ladies first.”

“You're a charmer...”

“Damn right I am, lady.”

***

“Wha? Wh-whu's calling?” - murmured Moon Shine, the new Canterlot High Music teacher, blindly reaching out for the buzzing phone. Squinting on the small screen, he managed to make out the digits and spewed profanities, groaning in dissatisfaction:

“Whu'd heck is frikkin wise enough to call at four A.M.?!” - he pointed the buzzing phone at the tiny plush owl, sitting on the nightstand and shook it accusingly:

“See that, your Excellence? People must've run out of oil in them heads, gears grinding stuck.”

Of course, his Excellence – the Grey Cardinal – never responded. He just stared on into the wall with the blank gaze of his beady, plastic eyes.

“Yes, Moon Shine 'ere... Uh – come again?.. No, you must've got the number wrong... No, ma'am, there's positively no man called 'Thunderlane' here, and there's no way he could've been... Ma'am? Ma'am?.. Can you hear me?... Gruh...” - groaned Moon, clicking the call off and presenting the gadget to the Cardinal:

“Some tipsy chick called me and asked for Thunderlane. As I said, oil running low, huh?.. Bleh. I'd better get some more shut-eye just in case...” - pulling the blanket higher over his shoulders, Moon Shine murmured for another couple of seconds and fell fast asleep.

He had a pretty big day ahead.

“Mister Moon Shine?” - a tall, slim, red-and-yellow haired girl inquired, scanning Moon with her turquoise eyes, checking with a clipboard in her hands. - “I'm Sunset Shimmer. Pleased to welcome you to the Canterlot High School, sir. I believe it that you're to replace Ms. Octave, our former teacher?”

“Yes, I am Moon Shine. Pleased to meet you too, young lady, and, of course – yes, I am here to fill the vacancy on musical classes.”

“That's great. I hope you'd like it here at CHS. Uh, fancy to have a tour – or should we jump straight ahead and get you all done with the formalities?”

“I'd absolutely hate to keep you occupied longer than necessary, miss Sunset; so, if it's fine with you, I'd like to sort out all the administrative issues firsthand, and then – if the offer is still standing – I'd just love to have a tour.” - Moon flashed the girl the most sincere of his sincere smiles, and she beamed in response:

“It's settled, then. Please, follow me to the Principle Celestia's office; I believe first of all you should report to her. Aaaand, she'll instruct you with the rest. Sounds good?”

“Sounds wonderful.” - replied the man, following the girl upstairs and letting his gaze wander around, catching the opulent interior of the school: marble, bronze, stained glass... W-w-w-wow...

“We're here: this is the door to Principle Celestia's study...” - Sunset Shimmer shifted from one foot to another. - “You go ahead, sir, and I'll, uh... go elsewhere.. If you'll need me – ask in the library, it's under the dome in the central section, can't probably miss it. So... Good luck?” - she reached a hand for a shake, smiling sheepishly – and caught Moon completely off guard. He blinked at the small hand reached out for him, then averted his gaze to the smiling girl, confused a bit.

Awkwardness dwelled for a brief second, until Moon beamed a smile back at her, vigorously returning a handshake:

“Thank you, miss Sunset, for all your help. Best of luck to you!”

“See you again, Mr. Moon, sir!” - the girl waved a hand at him and walked away, a slight spring in her step sending her red-and-yellow fire-ish mane into a slight bounce.

Moon Shine tugged on his collar, making sure everything was in perfect order, and knocked twice on the Principle's door.

“Come in!” - came the response and the man obeyed:

“Principle Celestia – I'm Moon Shine, here to fill the vacancy of the Music teacher.”

“Oh, of course, Mr. Moon – glad to have you here. Please, take a seat,” - gestured the woman, offering a hand for a handshake. - “and let us see through it”.

Time ticked around the clockface, as the conversation ran its way smoothly, papers changed hands, and finally the man rose from his seat, putting a folder under his arm, nodding his confirmation to the principle:

“Yes, I'll see to it, Principle. Which way is the staff department?..”

“To your left and down the hall, second last door to the right,” - replied the lady. - “Once you're done with that, I'll summon Sunset Shimmer, she'll guide you around.”

“No need to do that, ma'am – I'll get her. She left me extensive directions on where to seek” - nodded the man, leaving the study.

“Uhh... I hate that part...” - sighed the man, leaning against the wall outside of the school and lighting a cigarette. - “Feels like being interrogated – again and again. Bluh.” - pulling deep on the cigarette, he scanned through the papers in his folder. - “Meh, plannings, plannings... wait a sec... wuzzdat?” - squinting his eyes narrowly, Moon produced a neatly folded piece of paper, hidden nicely amidst the other documents. - “Hello, pretty...”

The paper read: “Good, you've made a way in. Settle in for now – I'll provide you with more specific information and debriefing on your upcoming assignments. Mingle with the schoolfolk, keep your head low, patch yourself an alibi. Eh, I'm not the one to give you the drill course. Bottom line, keep your head low, keep your eyes peeled.”

“I'd bet a bottom bit she's from staff department...” - mused the man out loud, oblivious to the fact that the cigarette burnt all the way down to the butt, threatening to burn his fingertips. - “Queer, I say – why would someone need that kind of thing working at the HR? Old grudge?”

“If I may?..” - inclined the voice from his left, making the smoker wince and drop the butt. - “Littering isn't allowed at the schoolgrounds, much as is smoking” - pointed out a tall pale lady, dressed in a formal suit with a crescent moon cameo brooch, holding a papercup and a paper bag.

“Beg pardon, uh?..”

“Vice principal Luna.” - she replied dryly, giving Moon Shine a thorough head-to-toes inspection. - “And you are?..”

“I so beg your pardon, ma'am...” - quickly putting a most sincere smile to his face, the man bowed slightly – in a gentlemanly way:

“The name's Moon Shine, and I'm the new Music teacher. Tis my first day.”

“Oh, nice to meet you, mister Moon Shine!” - vice principle lady returned the smile and gingerly accepted the handshake offered. - “Hope you'll like it here. But still, even though – and especially that you're now employed, the 'no littering – no smoking' rule applies. For your matter, it doubles.”

“Aw, shucks, ma'am. I'm mighty sorry...” - the wide smile flowed into a disappointed grimace. - “Won't happen again, promise.”

“Alright....” - Luna nodded graciously, landing the paper bag she was holding into a trash can. - “Mind if I ask you a question? Irrelevant one?”

“Sure, sure!”

“I couldn't help but hear your musings. About the HR and old grudge...” - the lady squinted. - “You mean this was happening at school?”

Moon Shine felt a trickle of sweat pouring down his spine: a chilling, prickly one.

“N-n-noo?..” - he half-inquired carefully, desperately trying to pull some resources off the paper he had folded neatly in his shirt pocket and redirect them to juice up the Lies Machine. - “'twas... uh...” - a brilliant idea popped up like a zit on the forehead of the prom queen right before the H-hour. - “I was just musing out loud on a mystery novel I've been reading!”

“Oh? A mystery novel? What's it called?”

“'Pros at Cons: Schoolfed', by Low Key Liesmith. Quite a fascinating read, I say!..” - rambling about a purely made-up fiction, Moon Shine was grinning internally; the Lies Machine in his brain was going full throttle, getting a load after a load of a perfectly plausible bullshit; she ate from his hands, and he could've seen it.

“My, you sure make it sound a delightful read, mister Moon...”

“Please, call me just 'Moon' or 'Shine', ma'am; I get itchy with formalities” - the liar retorted gently, giving Luna his best lady's man smile.

“Uh... right... Shine...” - the vice principle lady blushed slightly, raising a hand to flick away the strand lock of hair. - “Oh, just you look at the time! I must go now. It was a pleasure to meet you, Moon. See you around”.

“Aye, aye, ma'am – 'twas my pleasure...” - he bowed again, hiding a coy grin; he even opened the door for a lady, being rewarded with a grateful look over her shoulder.

“If this goes like this – I'll pluck this place clean like a chick...” - popping a joint, Moon Shine (?) lilted to himself, lighting another cigarette.

***

“'ello! Anyone here?” - poking his head into the library doors, Moon Shine asked out; the facility was quiet, save for the soft humming of computerware working. No sign of librarian, alas.

“I say, 'ello! Anyone? At all?” - treading carefully inside, he took a moment to gawk at the scale of the place: the central area of the library was situated under a huge frikkin' glass dome, generously pouring down sunlight, book dust dancing in the diagonal rays.

“Yush, everything 'ere looks dayum big...” - Moon Shine stuck his lower lip in admiration, nodding his approval.

“May I help you?” - a lady with pink-ish curly hair popped from behind the bookshelf, lowering her glasses a bit.

“I sure hope so, ma'am; I'm looking for a librarian here...” - nodded the man, stepping closer. - “I'm Moon Shine, the new...”

“...Music teacher. Yes, yes, I've been expecting you.” - smiled the librarian lady (no doubts what she was), stepping from behind the shelves; she was wearing a magenta blouse and a green skirt with a print of three smiling flowers on it. Camomiles or whatnot; pretty childish, but pretty adorable. Well, adorkable, snorted Moon Shine internally to his homegrown pun.

“I'm Cheerilee; teacher and part-time librarian here, at Canterlot High. And what's our new Music teacher's name?”

“Shime Noon... Er, mesay, Moon Shine!” - returning to reality from his inspection of librarian's eyes, the man reported. - “It's Moon Shine, ma'am.”

“Ugh, so official. We're colleagues, for Gog's sake!” - smiled Cheerilee. - “Call me just 'Cheerilee', drop the 'ma'am' part. Or, at least, save it for Principle and Vice Principle; they like it when they're treated with respect”.

“I sure guess they deserve it.”

“Why yes, they do. Anyway, what can I get ya for?” - Cheerilee cocked her head to the side, smiling.

“Your phone number... - uhh, I mean, I'd need some music books, please, if I may...” - Moon resisted the urge of slap-facepalm himself.

“Okay... uh... musicbooks...” - mused Cheerilee out loud, recalling something. - “Yes, I got it. Follow me, please.”

Said means done, and soon Moon Shine was equipped with the stack of blank music books.

“Thank you, Cheerilee. I guess I'll head to class now, uh...” - he managed to catch the one book falling from atop the stack and not drop all the others. - “Thanks for ye help. I owe one.”

“And I guess you'll have the chance to repay the debt, I say...” - Cheerilee smiled coyly, putting a small piece of paper into his chest pocket. - “Today. Six in the evening. Call me, tiger.”

“Okay...” - squeaked the man, and the library doors closed, cutting his dumbfounded face off for good.

“Aight, class!” - he called out, entering the room, greeted by the students standing up at his presence: “As you were. Sheesh, relax, people – I ain't any drill instructor McBallsosteel here; I'm your new teacher, and my name's Moon Shine...” - a few chuckles erupted from the last desks, as he was writing his name down in big letters on the blackboard. - “Yes, as funny as it sounds, Moon Shine. And no, I don't bootleg or any like that. I'm here to help you with any musical ambitions you've got, help you develop ye skills and so on. Questions?”

A couple of hands raised in the air.

“Yes? Can you, uh, introduce yourself?”

“Rainbow Dash's the name.” - grinned the girl with a rainbow-colored head, with a sharp, raspy, tomboyish voice. - “I'll jump straight to business, mister Moon Shine: you ever had a band to direct before?”

“Well, I've been in a band once, but as a member, not a conductor or director...”

“Eh, you'll be one now” - waved off the crazy athlete. - “Cuz Rainbooms here...” - she pointed out in a wide gesture. - “are at least twenty percent cooler than anything you might've seen and heard, like, ever!”

“Then why would you need a director?” - Moon inquired coyly.

“Meh... we might be just a tad bit rusty on some parts. And we wanna hit the big stage once. You in?”

“Sounds fun to me. I'll consider it. Come see me after hours” - nodded the man.

“Any more questions?”

Another hand raised.

“Yes, please?”

“The Great and Powerful Tr-r-r-rixie...” - boy did she rrrumbled that 'rrr' out... - “demands to know what kind of a band you were in?” - inquired the snub-nosed girl with a flamboyantly bright and glittery attire – some kind of an amateur illusionist? A show stopper?

“Uh, that was long ago, miss Trixie. I bet you were still a baby. We've ran a garage band – you know, college boys, blood running fizzy with beer, hands are itchy for something worthy... So we played something, as we thought, cutting-edge – much like the, you know, a Deaf Sentry? Nah? You know? Speed metal, with some fantasy and medieval tunes, eh? Like Minstrels and Haze? Doesn't ring a bell?”

“The Great and Powerful Tr-r-r-r-ixie demands to know the name of the band so she could find some records!”

“Oh, right. I doubt there'd be any – we never managed to make even an EP of it, but never hurts to try, I guess. We were called the Knight Owls. And yes, pun intended.” - chuckled Moon; another fake for the fakes pile.

“And what was your part? A lead guitar?” - piped in a young man with dark-blue hair and an emblem of checkered shield and a lighting bolt on his jacket.

“Or was it vocals?” - a girl with an intricately coiffed purple hair inquired, batting her eyelashes. - “Please, mister Moon, do not intrigue us any further, be a dear?”

“Meh, I was the guy with the percussion. Bagpipes, flutes, tumtums, heck, even a tambourine!” - at least that wasn't a complere fake – Moon did played the instruments listed. - “As I said, 'twas a strange blend of speed metal and a medieval tunes, with texts to match”.

“Like, dragons kidnapping princesses and brave heroes to save them?” - exaspirated the last girl to ask. - “Why, that's simply fabulous! Even though I, of course, have absolutely no idea what a 'speed metal' is...”

“It's like this, Rarity – may I, mister Moon?” - producing a guitar from the case, the fellow with a lighting and a shield inquired.

“Fire away, my friend – let's get some socks rocked!” - grinned Moon, kicking the amplifier to life.

The boy fiddled with his guitar's dials for a second, checked the strings – and the pure acoustic massacre unwinded; riffs rushed away, as if chased by the hounds of all seven Hells, as his fingers danced across the fretboard of the guitar; the amplifier barely withstood the power of rushing melody, and, as it came to crescendo, Moon was forced to turn the volume down a bit; as the melody came to its finish in a vibrating tremolo, the classroom erupted in applause; Moon was the first to do it.

“That was one mighty sock rocker, kid! What's your name?”

“Flash Sentry, sir. Thank you, sir!” - the boy beamed with well-earned praise.

“You get an 'A', my good man; keep it up!”

“So that is a 'speed metal'...” - blinked the girl who asked the question in the first place – Rarity, noted Moon Shine to himself – looking obviously zoned out with the sheer power of sound she was presented to. - “Why, this is absolutely preposterous – yet somehow fabulous! Oh, what an oxxymiron!”

“That's the Music for you, darling – built on paradoxes...” - Moon Shine lectured sagely, internally smirking to the sight of him getting authority at the students.

“So, this sorted out, let's speak of you, people. Are you playing or, maybe, singing? One at a time, you raise your hand, name yourself and identify your instrument, or, in case you sing, sing a note, eh? Sounds good?” - a murmur of approval rolled across the study.

“Let's get started!”

“Rarity Belle; playing a keytar and doing a back vocals”.

“Excellent, miss Belle! Next, please!”

“Rainbow Dash – s'me, yeah... I'm pretty much the most awesome guitar player here. And yes, I do sing as well. Just cuz I'm awesome”.

“Cool! Next!”

“Snowflake's the name!!” - roared the hulk of a guy – dayum, what does bodybuilding do to people... - “and I play VIOLIN!!!”

“Wow! A violin! That's just wonderful! Can I hear it sometime? Next please!”

“Flash Sentry! Guitar, sir!”

“Outstanding! Next!”

“Applejack's mah name, mis'r; Ah play bass at th'm Rainbooms and, eh, shucks...” - a blonde girl, spotted with freckles and sporting a Stetson blushed a bit. - “also doin' sum fancy back vocals.”

“Way to go, miss Applejack! Way to go! Next!”

“Oh-oh-oh-oh!! Me? I mean, it's me!” - the girl with bubblegum-pink fuzzy curly hair jumped (literally did) from her place, chattering with the velocity to rival the heli-mounted minigun: “Name's Pinkamena Diane Pie, but friends just call me Pinkie, and since I'm everyone's friend, everyone does call me that, and I'm a party planner – BOY I SURE DO LOVE TO PARTY!!! - and also I do drums at the Rainbooms, but actually I can play ANYTHING – a theremin, a triangle, a tube, a trombone, and oh that reminds me – I can also play a harmonica!!”

“Uhh... thank you, miss Pinkie... You were very informative. Keep it up! Next!” - shaking off the sudden fit of vertigo caused by strobing pink spot in front of his eyes, Moon Shine wrote down in his notebook “Pinkie: girl-orchestra”.

“Umm... I'm Fluttershy... I play tambourine at the Rainbooms, and also doing back vocals and, uh...” - the girl with curtain-like pink hair mumbled something inaudibly and hid behind her hair, as if startled with what she just said.

“Come again, miss Fluttershy? Speak up, please – I couldn't hear the last part! Come on, don't be so shy!” - encouraged Moon Shine, putting on his best sincere smile.

“meep” - came the frightened response from the scaredy cat.

“Please?”

“I also... I also write... song lyrics for the Rainbooms...” - whispered Fluttershy.

“Whoa, that's a mighty one! Best of luck to you, miss Fluttershy! Next!”

“The Great and Powerful Tr-r-r-rixie does whatever pleases her! And at the moment, she is pleased with singing and doing magic!”

“That's the show stopper, miss Great and Powerful! Thumbs up for you! Next!”...

The bell rang, indicating the end of the lesson and a recess; Moon Shine packed up his belongings and headed away from the class, checking with the curriculum he had in the folder from HR: seemed like he had only this one lesson today, so he was free to go.

In the lobby, however, he bumped into Cheerilee:

“Oh, hey! Done with your first day already? How's it been?” - smiled the part-time-librarian-pretty-lady.

“'twas good, I say; those kids sure have a knack for music.”

“Hehe, they do; you should've heard them at the Battle of the Bands; that was something sizzling hot – well, save for the small incident we've had...” - frowned Cheerilee, straightening her blouse. - “I guess you have to go now, don't you?”

“Well, I do... as much as I hate to do it.” - sighed Moon Shine, allowing her to play her little game.

“I gotta go too, so... Remember: today, six o'clock. I'll be waiting for your call – and you owe me one. You said that!” - winked Cheerilee, waving the man goodbye.

“Oh, I do...” - smirked Moon Shine, heading to the bus stop.