Winona the Cowardly Dog

Chapters

Reading is Good
Peak of Fashion
Apple Farm
Too much tv

Reading is Good

Author's Note

Ah did wut ah culd. Displaying humor like this is quite difficult in written form.

Reading is Good

Elderly Applejack sat in her rocking chair, petting Winona while said dog read a book detailing the adventures of a courageous knight. Sitting on a red chair across from the orange pony was Big Macintosh; Applejack's brother. He always carried a scowl on his face and a brown-red leather cap on his head. They sat in a humble living room made entirely from wood, and their few bits of furniture sat upon an ornate, circular carpet absorbing the entirety of space that was given to it. Behind the two ponies were the only stairs that led to the second floor, the rail and stairs themselves being painted turquoise while the walls were covered in floral wallpaper.

Macintosh was mashing a hoof on his excessively large remote control with a single button in an attempt to make the tv work, but it refused to show anything aside from black and white lines of fuzziness going up and down.

"Gaaah!" Big Macintosh growled. "The dern tv's broke."

Applejack continued rocking back and forth on her chair and noticed Winona laughing at the contents of her book. "Oh, Macintosh. Maybe you should do like Winona and read a book."

The stallion clenched his hooves and glared at Winona who noticed and just looked back at him with worry on her face. "Stupid dog," Macintosh grumbled. "I don't need no stinkin' book. They're for hippies! I want my tv! Me favorite show's on," he whined.

"Then maybe we should call a repair tah fix the tv."

Macintosh waved off Applejack's suggestion. "Don't need no tv repair man. Ah can fix it meself! Ah just need mah tools. Ah'm going out to the shed to get 'em."

Some time later, Macintosh returned with a belt full of tools and approached his tv, then the door rang, tearing Winona from her book and annoying Mac.

"What's huh?" he wondered.

"Macintosh, there's someone at the door. Could you get it for me, please?" Applejack asked kindly.

Macintosh grumbled and mumbled all the way to the door, then opened it to reveal a malformed pony wearing a black cloak. Her mane was pouring off on her right side and was a distinct purple color with a stripe of hot-pink and magenta going down the mane in a vertical line. Her body was a lavender color and her head was unusually big with a giant, yellow eye sticking out of her right socket like a dirty banana. Behind her was a cart full of books that she had been carrying around with her, most likely something she was peddling.

"Excuse me kind sir, but would you like a book? I heard that you had some trouble with your television, and books are much better than waiting on that unreliable piece of junk."

"No solicitors!" Mac shouted and slammed the door on the mare.

"Macintosh! Don't be so rude!"

Winona hopped off AJ's legs and clutched her book between her forelegs, watching her owner walk towards the door and open it to her 'guest' and Macintosh attempting fix the tv.

"Do come in, I'm certain you could do with a bit of rest and maybe some apple tea."

"Oooh, Apple tea. It helps the eyes for reading." She tugged on her cart and brought it up the two stairs leading to the porch. "Do you mind if I bring my cart in? I don't know this neighborhood so I'm afraid somepony might steal my books."

"Not at all. Come right in," Applejack walked to the kitchen while her guest followed suite.

When the guest passed by Winona, the pooch saw a book fall from the pile in the cart and moved forward to pick it up and look at the cover. It was straightforward in terms of book covers. Big letters at the top spelling out 'Claws of Doom'. Very standard title for the unimaginative, and the covered featured a mare in black-and-white running away from what appeared to be spears being thrown at her in a forest. Winona was about to bring it back to the lady, then she noticed the eyes twitch. Looking more closely, the picture sprung to life with the mare running away.

"Help me! I'm trapped in this boooooook!" the mare shouted.

Winona's mouth opened extremely wide and started to spew mist while her eyes turned into spinning disco balls projecting colorful lights. Winona ran to the kitchen to show Applejack the book. The guest was sat one one of the thin chairss besides a dining table while AJ stood at the kitchen-sink line along the wall, boiling tea. The dog pulled on her tail to grab her attention, which worked, then started to rabble incomprehensible noises and pointing to the book.

"What is it, Winona?"

Winona turned into a mare being chased by the spears, then a Frankenstein creature climbing out of the book in question, then returned to herself and whined. AJ picked up the book and looked at it briefly before chuckling to herself. "Y'all really do like yer adventurin' books."

Winona howled quietly in worry, then looked at the book pony wave at her with a smile, but the dog wasn't taking kindly to that and frowned at her.

"Here you are," AJ passed her cup to the book pony and sat across from her, drinking her own tea.

"Oh, is that Claws of Doom? I love that book! It's one of my favorites," the book pony emphasized.

"Really? What is it about?"

"Look inside the book and you'll see. I wouldn't want to spoil it for you."

AJ chuckled and opened the book. "If you say so."

Winona winced and watched her owner gasp at the contents of the book. She seemed excited.

"Oh my. This is quite well detailed for a book."

"Yes. One could say it," The book pony lowered her glass so that only her left eye was showing. "sucks you in."

AJ started to yell and Winona looked at her to see that she was being pulled right into the book which clamped shut after her. The dog widened her eyes in horror then went onto an opera stage where she was playing a valkyrie. She yelled so loud with such a powerful voice that she quite literally blew away the whole opera by her third volume raise. Two of the spectators pulled themselves out of the rubble and started laughing.

"Well, I say her performance blew the house down and made me deaf."

"Then I guess we should stay for later performances."

"Why?"

"Because we won't hear them!"

Winona returned to her home where the book pony was reading the book AJ was now trapped in and started panicking and hopping in place.

"What's wrong, dog? Your master is in a happier place and I now have a new book to read. I'm tired of always reading the same things over and over again. She might get out if she reaches the end of the story, but they never do! Ahahahaha!"

The dog stopped for a minute then pulled out a giant mallet from a...pocket. It was disproportionately sized, but she still used its enormousness to smash the pony over the head with it, turning her into a pancake then grabbing the book and running away with it. Winona used Big Mac's turquoise pick up truck and drove off.

"Stupid dog! That's my book!"

The book pony chased after the truck, dropping one of her literary pieces on the floor in front of the tv.

"What's huh?" Macintosh grumbled while scratching the back of his head with a wrench.

The book's title was 'How to get rich quick'.

"Ooooh! Eheheheh. Let's see here," Macintosh said to himself.

Before the stallion knew it, he was sucked into the book and it clamped shut afterwards. His voice could be heard grumbling with a muffled tone. "Stupid book!"

The truck stopped next to an old caravan on the outskirts of the town where an old shaman lived. Winona burst in and started blabbering about her book. The shaman was very tiny, even smaller than Winona, but her striped, black and white coat really let her stand out, as did her wonky right eye that was colored strangely with rings of orange, red, and yellow.

"The fat lady is stuck in the book?"

"Uhuh!" Winona nodded wildly.

"There is nothing I can do...but I can prevent you from being stuck in that book with this belt." The shaman pulled a brown belt out from a chest next to her and held it out. "You can have it...for fifteen bits."

Winona sighed and pulled her wallet out from her pocket. It was as big as she was. She pulled out a single, giant coin, handed it over, then put the belt on. The dog did not wait to simply jump into the book after AJ, letting the book flop down onto the ground. Mere seconds later, the book pony barged into the caravan as well, gasping for breath.

"Have you seen a dog with a book run around here?" the book pony asked.

"No, I did not, but I have this new one for sale. Just five bits."

The book pony shook her forelegs together in excitement. "Ooooo! Here you go."

"Thank you."

In the book, Winona found herself in a thick rain forest. It was pretty hot, so she took out a giant glass of lemonade and drank its contents through a straw, then stuffed the glass back into her...pockets (HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!). Screams attracted her attention to an event occurring behind a wall of bushes behind her, so she pushed them apart and saw that Applejack was tied to a pole and being roasted atop a fire by tribal ponies wearing strange, giant masks. Winona gasped so hard she sucked herself in and turned into a solid marble then bounced on the floor a few times.

The tribal ponies spoke to each other by clicking and using armpit farts and were just about to take their meal off its spit when Winona popped up, holding a giant jack-in-the-box and dropped it before jumping back into the forest to hide. The tribals approached it with caution. Some were more daring and decided to gnaw on it, only to find their teeth shattering into several pieces. Others were more logical and...used a jackhammer to break the box open, but it failed. One of the ponies, with a bigger mask, approached it and pondered deeply. It took several minutes before the pony noticed the lever and started to rotate it. The box flung open to show a giant, cartoonish glove holding an equally giant frying pan which was used to smash the tribals multiple times deep into the ground.

Winona took the opportunity to hobble to her owner and take her off the spit just to flee. The tribesponies chased after, throwing javelins at her until she jumped out of the book, making the ponies shake their hooves at Winona disappearing into the sky. Disappointed, they all turned around to return to their huts while the one wearing the bigger mask yelled "Stupid dog!"

The book pony was humming quietly to herself when she heard a rumbling amongst her books. Turning around, she saw Winona pop out with AJ above her. The dog chuckled stupidly?

"What the?! My books! What did you do?!"

Winona screamed at the top of her lungs and hopped back into another book, the pony giving chase.

"Come back here with my protagonist!" she shouted.

Winona ran along a dirt path akin to the Everfree and stopped in front of an old, two-story house in complete ruins surrounded by the Everfree. A sickly, tan-colored mare with brown hair was standing on her porch and sniffling when she caught sight of Winona and Applejack. Winona and the pony stared at each other for a lengthy amount of time before the dog opened her mouth to scream like crazy and to F1s sped off her tongue, drove around in circles, then went back into her mouth. The dog jumped out of the book before her pursuer could catch up.

"What was wrong with her?" the sickly pony wondered.

When the book pony chased after, she turned to notice the sickly pony and looked at her for just a few seconds before screaming in terror and running away. The tan pony crossed her forelegs and pouted.

The three when through another book where two bipedal creatures were yelling at each other about who was better than the other when the three ran over a flying ship with the shape of a bird-head, damaging it and having it crash.

"Not again," the owner of the ship whined.

The next book was in the water, and Winona and the book pony both had jet skis available. The book pony started throwing octopi and sharks at the dog in front of her, prompting Winona to scream loudly when one of the shark clamped shut onto the back seat. Luckily, the dog had an anti-shark repellent and sprayed it on the fish. It let go then casually exploded next to the book pony. The dog was confused and scratched her head. She just couldn't figure out what happened.

The two narrowly missed a pirate ship in the pursuit. The occupants of the boat teetered over to get a better look at whatever the commotion was and were confused at the sight.

"What's that supposed to be?" the youngest of the crew wondered aloud.

Finally out of the last book, Winona hid behind the cart and waited for the book pony to jump into another literary piece. Finally, she got a hold of the book and wrapped a huge amount of chains onto it and clamped it shut with a lock. When the pony tried to get out but failed, Winona rewarded herself with a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat from her forward. It wasn't over yet, as the trapped pony still found time to yell at her.

"Let me out of here! Let me--Oh? Ohohoho. Oh dear. Well, I guess I could get used to this. I should've done this years ago! Thanks, dog! Aaaaaaaaahahaha!"

Winona scratched her and picked the box up to see why the book pony was acting that way. It turned out the book was titled 'Hunks of Equestria' on it, making the dog shove a finger in the back of her throat and display her disgust very openly.

The two were finally back home, and Winona was enjoying Applejack's petting whilst laying down comfortably on her lap. The rocking chair was making all of it even better and more calming, although Applejack stopped briefly and looked around.

"I wonder where Macintosh went," she wondered aloud.

On the floor, in front of the tv, remained a book the book pony forgot to recover.

"Hohohaha! I'm rich, rich, rich!" a voice cheered within it.

Peak of Fashion

It was a usual, calm day at the farm. Macintosh was reading his newspaper, Winona was gnawing on an old boot, and Applejack was knitting something vibrantly colorful out of wool.

"Here you go, Winona. I made it just for you," AJ said.

She pushed the sweater over her dog who stood up to look at it. Its patterns and colors changed on a horizontal line every few centimeters, and Winona laughed at it. It felt warm and fluffy.

"Gah!" Big Mac growled and put his newspaper onto his lap. "Why does she get a new sweater when I'm left with this? She already has a sweater!"

Macintosh was wearing a grimy, black sweater that had been patched up several times in various areas. He really did need a replacement.

"Macintosh, please. Winona only has one sweater. You have lots of things. You shouldn't be complaining, but if it bothers you that much I'll make you a sweater later, but first, I think I'll make some tea."

AJ hummed all the way to her destination while Winona was left in the living room with Macintosh who was glaring at her through his glasses. The dog gulped and started to sweat profusely, but Macintosh just chuckled and went back to reading his newspaper, letting Winona sigh in relief and wipe her forehead, but that relief didn't last for long. Macintosh popped out from behind his newspaper wearing giant, googly eyes and yelling 'Booga booga booga!'.

Winona screamed at the top of her lungs while her head was pierced by a corkscrew and popped open, spraying juices everywhere. The stallion laughed at the expense of the dog and received a thwack on his head by AJ's rolling pain.

"OW! What did I do?"

The moment was interrupted by the sound of a loud bang outside.

"I wonder what that was?" AJ said. "Macintosh, could you go and see?"

"Bah..." Macintosh grabbed Winona by the scruff of her neck and held her outside the door. "Go see what the noise was!"

He booted Winona out into the wide nothing around the farm. The dog slid into the sand for a long distance before finally stopping, an Egyptian pyramid having formed at the end of her trip. With a little bit of struggling, Winona managed to pull her head out of the ground and laughed stupidly while an ocean of sand, complete with Egyptian paraphernalia, flowed from her mouth.

"Excuse me, darling, but could you help me out?"

Winona looked up to see a rather pale mare wearing an extravagant dress of white fluff. She was elderly and her fur wrinkled, and this was made more apparent by her extravagant and rich purple mane curled at the top and behind her neck. Winona was unsure if she was a good person, considering past encounters, but she couldn't deny the person any help, so she took them to her home.

Winona knocked on the door, letting Macintosh answer it.

"Whadda ya want?"

"Excuse me, kind sir, but my vehicle seems to have broken down. Could you help me with it?"

Macintosh rubbed his chin for nary a moment before giving his thoughts. "No." He slammed the door right behind him.

"Oh. Not a very kind fellow. That won't make for a lovely yarn."

"Macintosh, go help fix her car or I won't make you any dinner."

The stallion walked out of the house, grumbling and mumbling while he walked towards the tower of smoke in the distance. AJ invited the mare into her house along with Winona, whose head was patted for good behavior.

"I must say, your house is quite ravishing, in the country-style way," the mare said while looking around.

"Why thank you."

"And is that sweater your work?"

"Oh? Oh yes! Of course! I made it for Winona so she could feel warm and comfortable. Nothing better than a sweater for that."

"Really? Well, I love knitting as well!" The mare pulled out two knitting needles whose heads looked like a demonic skulls with a lengthy, sharp tongue.

Winona gasped in horror and watched the two go to the kitchen and take seats for knitting.

"I've never had a knitting partner before," Aj chuckled.

"Perhaps, then, you would like to learn a few tricks from somepony who has been knitting for, mmm, centuries?"

"Ooooh, you aren't that old, my dear."

"Why thank you."

The two chuckled in unison, stressing Winona out. She pulled a giant camera out of her...pocket and flashed the duo. The sewing mare was so blinded that she stabbed her finger with a needle and wailed in pain. Winona hurried up to the attic, placed the picture into the scanner, and started tapping on the keyboard.

"No need to bash your paws on the keyboard like a rabid ferret, you twit."

Winona huffed and started typing again.

"Oh, you want me to look up the needles?"

Winona nodded frantically.

"Alright, alright. Don't lose your head nodding so hard. Searching."

Winona pulled out a chip bag and started eating away while she waited, then tossed the bag away when she heard a 'ding'.

"These are the needles of Aintchugudyeh. They were created during the peak of Aztec culture for the King. He used them to knit clothes that would bring awe to his people, but when he started to near the end of his life, he learned something about them: He could knit other people, preferably people who are extremely kind, into yarn for his clothes which would become astoundingly gorgeous and extend his life if he was successful. Unfortunately, he wasn't. He was beaten by a better knitter and died of old age later on."

Winona screeched in horror and ran down stairs.

"Ow. That dog really has a grating voice. It could burn out one's sound card. What a twit."

When Winona arrived at the kitchen, he saw that AJ was being knitted into a ball of very bright and beautiful yarn.

"You're too late, dog."

Winona's eyes went out and was accompanied by the sound of a machine deactivating, allowing her to simply fall onto the ground and roll a bit like a metal statue.

"With this yarn, I'll make the most beautiful dress in the world."

The yarn pony hugged her ball of yarn tight to her chest and spun around, stoppeding briefly to hunch over after her back cracked like a tectonic plate during an earthquake. Winona started bouncing and babbling in front of the mare, much to the pony's annoyance.

"What, you want this? You can't have her back, dog. I have her now. It's too late."

Winona took out a pair of needles from behind her back and glared at the pony, challenging her.

"Oh, you want to challenge me to a yarn contest? Fine. Let's go outside."

Once outside, the pony threw her arms in the air and started to chant. At first, nothing happened, but the ground started to shake violently, terrorizing Winona. Macintosh, however, was mildly inconvenienced while fixing the car.

"What's huh?" he wondered.

He and the car were ejected high into the air and far into the horizon where an explosion indicated his landing point. An enormous stadium had risen out of the ground. Three giant-sized judges were watching over what would obviously be a series of challenges. One was a giant of red yarn, another was entirely of sewing needles, and the last was a duck.

"Wah wah," the duck quacked.

Winona scratched her head in confusion.

"You will both follow a series of challenges which will determine the victor of this knitting event!" the red yarn giant shouted.

"And the one to make the most impressive piece out of yarn will win each event."

"Wah wah!"

A gong was struck and a mountain of yarn fell onto the head of the dog and the mare.

"Commence!"

Winona quickly knitted a small sweater with circle and wavy patterns in yellow and pink while the knitting mare made a randomly colored bear that roared at the dog, blowing her away into dust. In the next part, the yarn lady knitted an orange and purple sports car and drove it around the stadium. She passed Winona about three times before this one pulled a hammer about ten times her size and smashed the car. Winona tossed the hammer away and cackled. In another event, Winona knitted herself a castle, to which the judges oo'd and aww'd at, then the mare pulled a string of her trebuchet and knocked the whole castle down with the dog in it.

The yarn giant threw his arms out at the display. "Enough!" he shouted. "While this display has been most amusing, it's time for the true, final event."

"You must make something out of pure love with yarn."

The yarn mare chuckled and created an ornate, oriental dress with red trimmings on the shoulders and at its bottom. It looked she mixed two cultures with it. Winona gasped when she saw it was the yarn made from AJ, so the dog did her best to create a better dress and presented it to the judges with a sheepish smile. They leaned over and started laughing wildly, while the duck just quacked.

"Silly dog. You really thought you could beat me with something so...rural?"

Winona's ears flopped down and the dog herself slouched in sadness, then a realization hit her. She pulled her sweater off her body and showed to the judges again. Their laughter instantly ceased and the pin giant pulled it out of Winona's paws.

"Amazing. What is this? It's full of pure love, care, and affection, yet it was knitted so casually!"

"Tell us, dog, who did this?" the yarn giant asked.

Winona started babbling and pointing at the yarn mare. She turned into a monster-version of the pony turning AJ into a ball of yarn. The giants looked to each other and nodded.

"We cannot let such a unique talent go to waste because of this one's need for eternal beauty! You win, dog!" the pin giant announced.

The stadium started breaking up into a swirling tornado of yarn that engulfed the mare and started turning her into yarn.

"You didn't say I would be turned to yarn!" the yarn lady cried.

"Yes we did. The duck said it," the needle...man casually pointed out.

"Wah wah."

All that Winona heard was a 'nooooo' from the mare before she fell into the hand of the yarn giant. The sweater fell into the hands of Winona who started to cry, but she didn't have time to wallow as the needle giant pushed her up to its button eyes.

"Why do you cry, dog? Give me the sweater, I shall return the artist we seek."

The needle giant started fumbling with the dress the yarn mare had created and its fingers moved too fast for Winona to see, then she saw Applejack pop up in the air and fall gently to the ground.

"Oh my. Winona, what are we doing here?"

"Hello, artist."

AJ turned around and put a hoof to her mouth. "Oh my."

"We are sorry to be of a bother, but we wish to learn about your knitting techniques. We've never seen such a beautiful sweater."

"Really? Well, do come in. I'll have a cup of tea ready for you in a minute."

After a while, the giants were sitting in the living room next to AJ and attempting to follow her lead, while the duck just sat there with its yarn and needles on the floor in front of it. Because it's a duck.

"Wah wah," quacks the duck.

"When is Macintosh going to come back inside? His tea is getting cold," Applejack wondered.

Far away, in a smoking crater, a car sat...s...smoking. Curse these verb limitations. A voice grumbled under the rubble.

"Nyorrrr. Stupid car."

Author's Note

Making these is hard, so I went with a similar scenario to see if I got this down right. I'll have to be more creative for the next chapter.

Apple Farm

Big Mac was occupied with fixing the front door frame while Applejack was busy with breakfast, and so Winona was still in the living room, chewing on a squeaky apple-shaped chew toy. The dog was deep in her transient state of mastication when Applejack called for her, so she took her toy in her mouth and walked towards the kitchen. Unfortunately, she found herself blocked by a grumpy Big Mac who stopped hammering the door for a minute to look at the dog and resume his work. Winona whined a few times, and after the fourth time, Big Mac looked at her and went to what the dog thought was a toolbox. He popped back out with nails in place of teeth and nuts on his eyes.

"BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!" he shouted.

The dog screamed so loud she was lifted and rocketed through the roof just by the lift power of her voice. Big Mac laughed joyously, but got conked hard on the noggin' by AJ's rolling pin.

Big Mac clutched his head. "OW! What did I do?!" he asked.

AJ shook her rolling pin at him. "I'm tired of you making fun of Winona. Go get her and bring her back inside, or no pie!"

"But AJ..."

"GO!"

The red pony grumbled his way outside, complaining about the 'stupid dog' and not getting his pie. He pushed the door open angrily and stomped towards the dog knocked out in the crater with her teeth sticking out of her mouth like stakes.

"Come on, dog!" he shouted. When she didn't respond, he growled even louder and stomped right next to her. "COME ON YOU...What's huh?"

A huge group of ponies pulling carts filled with giant apple trees were on Big Mac's land, as FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR as the eye could see.

"What do you want?!" he shouted.

A tall mare carrying a backpack and sporting resplendent red hair and a fit figure approached Mac, shaking his hood enthusiastically.

"Well hi there! We were just findin' some place ta plant our apple trees."

"Then look somewhere else!" Big Mac yelled when he removed his hoof.

The mare put on an innocent, defeated expression. "But, good sir. We haven't anyplace left for them, and they are oh so thirsty!"

"NOT my problem." He grabbed Winona and threw her at the house, whacking her head hard on the wood.

"We'll pay you bits for it, a-And you can take a profit of the apple sales," she added.

The mare pulled a few bits from her backpack, as did her fellows, creating a bright chain of golden light. A 'cha-ching' rang in Big Mac's head, and he joyously grabbed all the bits with laughter when the ponies stopped next to him for their 'deposit'.

"Where can we plant these, sir?" one of the ponies asked.

"Anywhere you want!" he answered without looking away from the pile of bits he was standing out of.

Winona whined with worry when she watched the strangers all come by with their trees, and the first mare with red hair saw him at the corner of his eyes and smiled.

"Awww, what a cute lil puppy," she said as she patted the dog on the head. Her face twisted into a huge grin with oversized teeth afterwards. "Dontcha worry, doggy." She tapped her tree. "You'll all make some fine fertilizer for these here trees!" she spoke with a strained tone.

Winona screamed internally, her whole body stretching from it. She rushed immediately to Applejack and pulled her outside despite her protests. The dog bounced up and down, pointing at the invaders. She turned into a monstrous demon tree with holes in place of eyes and a mouth that glowed green and depicted her eating the orange mare, then turned into a dead, almost zombie-like willow taking an apple out of its branches, pulling off the stem of the fruit, and throwing it like a grenade into the distance, letting it explode.

AJ didn't know what to say to this, but when she looked at the ponies, she clapped her hooves together. "Oh! New guests, and with apple trees, too! We haven't had trees here in ages!" She turned back to her home while Winona tried to keep her outside. "I'll get some drinks for our guests."

Winona bounced up and down, pointing at the guests, and whined when she noticed that Applejack was ignoring her. So focused on her worry, she didn't pay attention to the thin pony walking up behind.

"Hey, doggy!"

Winona spun around and yiped in fear. The mare pet the dog's head rather roughly, pulling Winona's skin back more and more as the pets continued.

"That's a good dog!" she said. "Can't wait to see what kind of soil ah'll be able to use with these...FERTILE lands!" she mused.

Winona whined in worry and watched the big mare walk away towards the others preparing their trees. She sneaked in after the mare and vanished behind the various pots and wagons, peering around the corners to see them mixing up compost in wooden crates. A group of the ponies dropped large blocks of leaves and rotten foods in the crate, prompting a sigh of relief from Winona.

"Got the compost workin' well?" the mare asked her companions.

A stallion mixing up the batch wiped his forehead and nodded. "Sure do, Apple Bloom. Now we just need the 'secret ingredient'," he joked.

Apple Bloom laughed. " 'Secret', he says."

Two ponies came by with a joined armful of white, powdery substances and plopped some into the box. They checked the interior before being sent off by the stallion to share with the others, but, without their notice, a bit of their hold fell onto the floor.

"Whoops!" Apple Bloom squeaked. She picked up the item, revealing a pony skull. "Can't have all that calcium 'n other things get lost in this dried land, can we?" she kicked the dry ground in response.

Winona's ears took off her head like rockets and exploded just above her in a fireworks display of her screaming. She rushed towards AJ cleaning dishes in the kitchen, babbling incomprehensibly and pointing to the outside.

"What's wrong, Winona?" she asked. She leaned down and scratched her behind the ears. "Say, have you seen Big Mac anywhere? I can't find him." She pouted and put her hands to her hips. "That stallion is always wandering around."

To AJ's protests, Winona hopped onto the kitchen sink and looked out of the window to see the group toss Big Mac's cap away. She screamed so powerfully that she collapsed upon herself and vanished into a blink. The dog reappeared behind AJ after coming in from the living room and squeaked in confusion.

"Winona, stop being silly and bring these pies to our guests. I'm sure they would lo--"

The mare screamed when a tree root burst through the windows and grabbed her, slowly lifting her into the air while she screamed.

"Applejack!" Winona screamed.

She tried to pry her owner out of the root's grasp, but she was only met with another one slapping her away and into the wall. They went for the dazed Winona next. She recovered her senses and pulled out hedge clippers from...She started clipping at the roots, or attempting to. They snapped in half after a few attempts, forcing the dog to pull out a chainsaw and get to work, making the new item grind itself down to a stub.

Winona scratched her head in confusion. "What the...What's in these roots?" she wondered.

She screamed again and rushed upstairs to the super computer sitting in the creaky attic all alone, hoping that she could find an answer.

"Help!" she pleaded. "Weird indestructible tree things kidnapped AJ!"

"Weird indestructible tree things?" the computer repeated. "This is why you should've gone vegan like I asked."

"What? Why?" Winona typed.

"To lose your waistline, and to kill all the plants."

A tree branch burst through the window to the left of the two, terrifying Winona. The dog bolted to the window and hammered in multiple planks of wood over them, causing them to screech in pain.

"EAT THE PLANTS BEFORE THEY EAT YOU!" the computer shouted. "Oh, and they're just soul trees. Maybe...I would shrug if I had shoulders." There was a long pause. "Just eat them or burn them. You could also...I don't know. Throw compost or something on those controlling them."

Winona tapped on the keyboard, a frown adorning her face. "You're not very useful," she complained.

"Not very useful?! They're blood trees! Just throw a match on them or something! You're in the middle of nowhere! They're all dried out!"

Winona blinked a few times in response. "Oh yeah..."

Back outside, Apple Bloom and her companions were cheering for the growth of their trees and shoveling more compost onto the roots of these plants.

"Growin' nice 'n big." She patted her tree's trunk. "Gonna make the best white apple ever!" she cheered.

"Hey, it's that dog," another pointed out.

Everyone turned to see Winona standing in front of everyone, her face painted with worry and her paws behind her back. She looked up to AJ screaming and pleading for her help, but the dog did not move.

"Hm?" Apple Bloom leaned in. "It's that cute li'l doggy from earlier."

"Oh, he'll make the cutest white apples this side of nowhere," one of the ponies said.

Apple Bloom frowned and patted Winona on the head. "Sorry li'l doggy, but they're right. We need ya ta be good 'n solid fer the trees." Several roots from the dozens of nearby trees erupted from the ground and bolted towards Winona. "Bye, doggy!" Then Winona pulled a lit match from behind her back. "Wait, what's that?" Apple Bloom asked while squinting her eyes.

The tiny flame poked a tree root, then the match extinguished and plopped to the ground. Winona brought her paws to her face.

"What was that supposed to--"

The trees and everyone but Winona and AJ were immediately engulfed in a fire then suddenly extinguished, leaving behind blackened husks.

"--be..." Apple Bloom coughed.

"Huh. That was easy," Winona noticed. "I don't know why...but I feel disappointed."

Everything disappeared into a gentle gust of wind, leaving AJ to fall helplessly from her height and crush a frantic Winona who did her best to catch her.

"Oh my." AJ picked Winona up and pet her. "Thank you, Winona. I had no idea those people were up to no good. I'll make you some happy apples. Whadda ya say?" Winona nodded excitedly. "Great!" AJ looked around and sighed. "Remind me to keep one ready for when Big Mac comes back."

As they returned to the house, a tiny sprout bloomed from the blackened land. It sported Big Mac's face. He groaned angrily, but before he could say anything, a stray ember hit him, turning him to ash. Winona just shrugged at the sight and nuzzled more deeply in AJ's arms.

"Stupid dog!"

Author's Note

RED hair. NOT orange. Ya color blind gumps.

Too much tv

Winona was enjoying another day resting on applejack's lap while she rocked back and forth on her lap, knitting a sweater. Big Mac, on the other hoof, was tapping his toes against his chair's arm rests impatiently. He kept checking the grandfather clock for the time and looking at the entrance door, grumbling in response.

"Come on..." he growled angrily.

The dog tilted her head in confusion until someone knocked at the door and Big Mac's mood flipped completely. He hurried to the door as best as his old bones could, exchanged words with whoever was on the other side, then pulled in an oversized, almost flat cardboard.

"What's that?" AJ asked.

Mac tapped the box with his hoof. "It's a free, flat screen tv I won in the local lottery." He squeed in excitement. "It even comes with free satellite." He raised his hooves into the air in celebration. "Over three hundred channels! And they're all mine!" He walked towards the stairs and took a step before speaking again. "I'm going to grab me toolbox and install it. Shouldn't be hard."

"Alright. I'll prepare some tea," Applejack said.

She put Winona on the ground and waddled towards the kitchen, her smile everpresent on her face. As for Winona, she looked at the box with curiosity. There was patting of the giant contraption, then the dog placed her ear on the box.

"Watch meeeeee..." a hushed voice strained.

The dog screamed loudly and rushed to the kitchen to hide beneath AJ's dress. Her fears did not meet fruition when the giant black rectangle was mounted on the wall and doing nothing. Big Mac was amusing himself with fifteen, table-sized remotes, after chucking his old tv in front of the house, proclaiming how he didn't need that 'old thing' anymore.

"Ha ha! Look at all these, Applejack!" he cheered.

"Oh my." AJ waddled to her chair with a teacup in hoof. "That's quite a lot of remotes, no?" she asked. "Well, let's just see what is on there."

Big Mac stomped on one remote, turning the tv on to another one of Big Mac's fond movies depicting a shoddy cardboard robot puppet descending from an equally poorly made ufo dangling on a visible string.

"Oooo!" He turned to AJ and waved his remote at the tv. "Look! It's in color!"

AJ ahh'd as well. "That's pretty. All these fancy new machines are so much fun." She giggled.

"She says it's fun, but there's something wrong with that thing, or my name isn't Samuel Something Something Esquire...the Third..." Winona coughed. "And it isn't."

Day in and day out Big Mac watched the tv, gradually drying out like a sponge, and AJ wasn't liking it. While Winona gnawed on a bone next to the kitchen entrance, Big Mac kept watching his tv, enjoying the color quite a bit. The dog was interrupted from her mastication by several streaks of color flashing about the screen like the contrails of a jet. She gave it no heed until a face and two hooves pressed against the screen.

Winona stopped gnawing and stared at it staring at Big Mac. Its coat was a drab cyan blue, and its teeth, accentuate by an open-mouth smile, were crooked and sharp. It had bags under its black, hollow eyes, and its mane was thin and nonexistent. Its eyes moved towards Winona, and with some effort, it started to speak.

"Hey, dog. Move his chair closer," it wheezed. It took in several deep breaths. "I can't reach him."

Winona made a high-pitched screech that shattered her like glass onto the floor.

AJ stomped forward, hooves on her hips and a scowl on her face. "Big Mac," she said. "Big Mac!" The stallion did not respond and flipped through the channels instead. AJ, however, would not let herself be defeated. She stepped in front of the tv, upsetting the stallion. "You listen here, mister. You've been loafing about that couch for days now! You haven't even done your chores." She gestured in the direction of the chicken coop. "The chicken coop is so dirty that they've been fighting over the clean spots."

Winona took her bone in her mouth and climbed a drawer to look outside the window. There were two armies of chickens; One sporting blue with kilts and claymores, and the other sporting red with chain mail and longswords.

"What the," Winona stuttered. She fled from the window when an egg exploded against it and hid behind Big Mac's chair.

While Big Mac continued to try to move AJ with the remote, Winona took the opportunity to try and warn AJ but jumping in front of her. She turned into a grim reaper smashing a remote over Big Mac's head, then a toy soldier walking haphazardly, and then a monster made up of color bars from a tv alert. Unfortunately for her, AJ did not react. That is, until Big Mac pressed the AV button on his remote. The mare was frozen in a distorted snow effect, and the colorful being grabbed her and pulled her into the tv.

Winona's eyes drained of color, becoming transparent orbs. She reached about with her arms until she found the tv and hopped in. The dog screamed the whole way she was falling down, and her screams kept going until she received a ball of snow in the mouth.

"What's going on?"

She was in a ski suit and sliding down a mountainside. The dog was startled by the big-headed, suave-haired presenter appear right next to her whilst talking to the camera.

"Folks, you've heard of sports. You've heard of EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEME sports!" he bellowed. "But have you heard of...HYPER EXTREME SPORTS?!" He presented the dog with a hoof. "This brave dog is going down a one hundred and TWENTY degree slope while an avalanche is falling the whole way down and BOMBS are being dropped next to her!" He and the camerapony grabbed a ladder dangling from a helicopter and flew off to safety. "Extreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeme!"

Winona screamed so loud that she split the avalanche in half. Mac, however, wasn't liking the show. "Bah! Stupid dog ruining tv."

Winona now found herself on Circle of Riches, surrounded by two other contestants. The host was wearing a black tuxedo and sporting teeth three times the size of his head.

"Contestant number two, for two hundred thousand smackaroos, what is the answer to this question? I'll remind you that the subject is Color Position in Light."

Winona thought for a moment then answered. "Roody rar roo raroora rodwy rood reedy rad."

The host's blazing smile dimmed a little, but the board lit up with the answer, prompting exasperation from the other two contestants.

"Well I'll be. That was the right answer!"

Big Mac yelled even louder. "Now he's ruining the contest shows!"

Finally, Winona was on the channel where AJ was trapped to, but she was stuck in a wall of paint, slowly being drained of her colors. The weird creature was wringing its spindly hooves together while AJ screamed for help and grinned.

"Hm?" it noticed the dog and floated towards her. "How did you get in here?" She shook her head. "No matter. The longer she's here, the stronger I get, and then I'll be free!" She turned back to Winona. "What do you think about THAT, do...Dog?"

She looked around and spotted Winona trying to pull AJ free from her confines. The creature angrily swatted the dog away with her ghostly tail, smashing her against the tv screen.

"Aaah. Now THIS is quality entertainment," Mac said.

Winona forced a paw through the screen and pressed the buttons at the top of the tv, changing the channel.

"HEY!" Mac protested.

Winona and the creature found themselves in monoplanes above a countryside during a battle where large explosions of black smog happened all about. Winona shrugged and carried on.

"Ahhhhh! Not more sky!" the creature cursed.

She chased after Winona in her multicolored monoplane and started shooting at the dog. he two started pursuing each other...or rather, Winona's constant fleeing coincidentally got her behind the creature on multiple occasions.

Winona chuckled to herself. "I wasn't expecting a dogfight." She smiled with big teeth at the tv screen.

Mac frowned and pressed hard against the remote. The creature and dog were now in a calm room playing chess, and while the monster looked pensively at the board, Winona moved a pawn.

"Checkmate," she stated.

The creature, appalled and horrified, looked at the board then flipped it and bashed Winona several times over the head.

"You can't make me stay here!" she stated whilst bashing Winona over the head.

Mac changed the channel again, throwing the two into a demolition derby. Winona was in a dinky little car while giant monsters smashed against each other. She screamed, turning her head into an engine belching flames from her ears, smoke from her mouth, and making her eyes into speed indicators. She sped around the circular dome, trying her best to avoid all the other cars. One such car; a 4x4, missed Winona, slid along the mud, and smashed again the wall. A pale purple mare with a slicked back, cloudy mane wearing sunglasses shook her hoof at the dog.

"Watch where yer goin', ya foo'!"

She was sandwiched by two other cars. Two massive doors opened up behind Winona's car, allowing a monster truck easily three stories tall to slide in.

"Now THIS is a car!" the creature cheered.

Winona's screams matched the tone of the beastly machine's engine revving up. She fled as fast as she could while the creature crushed everything in her path. Eventually, though, Winona was hit from the front by a truck and sent flying towards the window of monster truck, scaring the two, but Big Mac's fatigue caught up to him. He had fallen asleep and dropped the remote, causing it to fall in its buttons and change the channel back to the empty wastes. While the creature fell backwards, Winona was jettisoned towards AJ's trap, destroying the thing with a bit of 'brain power' and freeing the dog's loving owner. The creature screamed in anger while Winona rose up from the colorful muck and laughed in response with many of her teeth flopping out.

"Now I'll never get out!" the creature complained.

"Well, it's not by kidnapping ponies that you'll get out here," AJ scolded.

The creature pursed her lips and looked away. "Technically, that's why I kidnapped you..."

"Why do you want to leave this place."

The creature started crying openly. "I was trapped in here after an accident with flight. I've been stuck in that horrible channel, repeating my mistake over and over again." She began to wail. "I want out! I've been trapped in here for so long, and they use my colors to bring life to this stupid rectangle!" She flopped to the ground and put her face in her hands. "I can't take it anymore."

AJ took pity on the creature while Winona reinserted her teeth. "Winona," she started. "Why don't you help the dearie out? Maybe there's some kind of show you could put her in?" She shrugged.

Winona pondered a while, then an idea came to mind. She walked to the creature and gestured multiple times to her.

"You want to get out? Why?" Winona shared her plan further. "Hmmm. I don't know if it'll work, but I never tried it." She floated towards AJ and grabbed her. "Try something funny and I'll drain her, but if you actually manage to help with that, then she'll be saved as well."

Winona nodded. The creature grabbed her and smashed her through the tv screen and into the living room. Quickly, the dog rushed into the attic, fumbled through the boxes, and pulled out a large camera and some cable. She rushed down the stairs, attached the cable to the tv, then started recording the dry wastes outside.

"Leaving me to hang? Well...okay..." the computer lamented.

Winona waited impatiently after changing the tv output, then she saw both AJ and the creature flicker into existence. The creature looked around, but still frowning.

"Yeah, that's nice, but we're still stuck in that tv."

Winona stepped in front of the tv, pulled out a giant mallet, then smashed the device with it. She made sure it was properly destroyed when it fell onto the floor with a few more good smacks. Big Mac was still sleeping, so Winona shrugged and carried on. The creature and AJ were still in the real world, allowing Winona to cheer and jump into AJ's arms with a happy smile.

"I'm free. I'm free!" the creature cheered. She swirled around in the air and hugged both AJ and Winona. "Thank you SO much. I've been stuck in there for so long that I guess I..." She rubbed the back of her head and smiled sheepishly. "I just lost my temper."

She waved them good bye and flew off into the distance, creating a melting rainbow trail behind her. AJ and Winona looked at it in awe.

"See, Winona? Everypony can be helped if you try hard enough."

"My tv!" Big Mac shouted.

"You'll have to get Mac's old tv back as well," she sighed.