Crime Pays

by chillbook1

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Twilight Sparkle, Anthro, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash, Thriller
Length: 92663

Twilight Sparkle, master thief and adrenaline junkie, leads the Mythos Crew in search of the next big score.

Twilight Sparkle, also known as Medusa, is a hardened criminal mastermind, and the leader of what was formerly the most feared band of criminals in all of Equestria. That was years ago. Now, her crew is in shambles, and she looks to two-bit thug Rainbow Dash to bring it back to its former glory.

With Twilight's genius and experience, combined with some fresh blood, the Mythos Crew may become more formidable than ever.

Published 2016-03-08 00:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-02-12 19:39:34 UTC

Burglary

“I don't know about this…”

“I’m doing her a favor.”

“You'll use that to justify anything.”

“Remember when we stole 80 grand in gems and your justification was hunger?”

“Touche.”

Spike didn't normally go on jobs with the crew. Dragons tend to attract attention, and that's exactly what we normally wanted to avoid. He normally drove the van, did repairs, plan things. He had connections. His channels ran deep. You know that corny line “I know a guy who knows a guy”? Well, Spike is that second guy. Most times, he was best kept behind the wheel or at a keyboard.

On the flipside, he had some of the stickiest fingers out there. As good of a manager as he was, he was an invaluable asset to have on certain jobs. He had a knack for break-ins and the similar. That's half the reason I asked him to help me break into Rainbow’s house. The other half was that we hadn't spent much time together since Mythos first fell apart.

“I'm doing this with or without your help,” I said. “So either head back home or start on the lock.”

“Sure, mom,” said Spike, rolling his eyes. He expertly maneuvered his pick through the keyhole, jiggling the pins into place.

“Well, technically, you are my baby dragon,” I pointed out. I heard the faint click of the lock. “I found you as a hatchling, so, in the eyes of the law, you’re probably considered my son.”

“Just… Shut up and get what you came here for,” said Spike with a hushed tone to his voice. “Which, by the way, remains a mystery to me.” I silenced him by pressing a finger to my lips, then stepped through the back door.

The kitchen was a mess, unsurprisingly. Dirty dishes, grease stains on almost every surface, and cigarette butts littering the floor. I silently snaked through the mess and into the adjacent living room, Spike just behind me. Dash was asleep on the couch, facing the TV with cocaine clinging to her nose and her mouth open wide enough to send echos of her snoring throughout the house. I tapped my nose, then pointed to Dash, and finally the duffel bag over my shoulder. Spike nodded in understanding, then went around the room in search of coke.

I took the moment to survey the room, particularly a series of photos on the coffee table in front of Dash’s couch. Each one displayed some scene of her and a girl a few years younger than her. At oldest, she was sixteen. She dressed like Dash did before I took her under my wing; baggy jeans, dingy tank top. She even seemed to have styled her hair in the same messy, windswept way. Only difference was the color, this girl deciding to go for a solid purple instead of the rainbow of colors. There were six pictures, and they were the only ones in the house. That meant that Dash really cared about this girl.

I put the photo down, then searched the room for cocaine. We found a bit, roughly $1,500 worth of blow. I was far from surprised, but still a bit annoyed. After checking upstairs and the basement, I motioned to Spike that we should start heading out. As we left, I saw the photos again. I tried to figure out how a trainwreck like Dash could ever have someone they care about that much. And, judging by the look on the other girl’s face, the feeling was mutual.

“Medusa, let’s go!” came Spike’s whispered shout. I nodded, grabbing one of the photos on my way out. I bagged it and followed Spike out of the house and to the van.

After stowing away the coke at one of our drop points, Spike and I convened back at our main stronghold. It was a tiny little laundromat hidden away in a northwestern corner of Canterlot City. Terrifically unnoticeable and perpetually closed for maintenance, it was a modern day Nassau. The place where the magic happened. Once I walked into the laundromat, I headed for the back, to a large dryer that was marked with a sign labeled “out of order”. Beneath the machine was a keyhole of sorts, except it was molded for Spike’s claw. I had molds made of this “key” ages ago, so other crew members could get in when he was busy with other matters. That was back when there were other crew members, I suppose.

Spike unlocked the dryer, which let him push it up and on its side. Doing this revealed a hole with a ladder, down which we descended. The hole was about ten feet deep, and then it went into a straight hallway for another twenty five. It felt good to be home, especially after all that time of waiting for the heat to die down. We strolled down the long, many-doored hallway in silence. If Spike saw me steal the photo, he kept it to himself. He knew that he would find out in due time.

It didn’t take us long to make it to the large double doors that separated the hall from the Planning Room. I pushed open the door and stepped into the circular room. On the furthest side from the door was a large screen that Spike used to show us maps and plans. In the center was a large table, with a map of Canterlot City etched into its surface. We called it the War Map. There were computers and phone lines on tables belting the wall, where Spike, our resident hacker, did his thing. There were also two couches near the back, and a table with a glass chess board. Spike and I often played while planning some of the longer jobs or after a successful heist. I fell onto the couch, gesturing to the board. Spike sat opposite of me, and moved his white pawn forward.

I imagined that it would take Dash no longer than thirty minutes to wake up. Ten more minutes to realize that her coke was gone. Another sixteen for Dash to walk over here, twelve if she ran. That would give me enough time for three to five games, depending on how focused Spike was. I never verbalized that prediction, because it only really mattered to me. Spike didn’t need time to get his story together. He was loyal, loyal enough to be able to lie for me perfectly. He also knew better than to ask questions at a time like this. So, we played in silence, Spike trying his hardest to delay his inevitable defeat at a game he couldn’t ever win.

In the middle of our fourth game, the door burst open, and Dash ran in, rambling incoherently.

“Check,” I said, moving my piece and ignoring Rainbow.

“Yo! Twi! I'm freaking out right now!” Dash rushed over, her casual street clothes even messier than usual. “Someone broke into my house!” I turned from my game, almost knocking over the board in the process.

“What?” I demanded. “What did they take?”

“My coke!” She sounded like a child who had lost a toy. “I'm panicking here, this hasn't happened before! I don’t know who it is, either!”

“Don’t you live in the ghetto?” asked Spike. “Could’ve been some thug or something.” Dash shook her head with some degree of certainty.

“Nah, my people know better,” she said. “I have rep on that street. Nobody is breaking in without some serious consequences.”

“Are you sure it wasn’t someone from an enemy gang or something?” I asked. “Or maybe from your gang? The Bolts can’t be happy that you left.” Again, she shook her head.

“They don’t even know I’m out yet. Seriously, Twi, this is freaking me out! Why is it that I get robbed as soon as I start rolling with you?”

“Oh boy. I didn’t expect them to notice you yet,” I mumbled.

“What?!”

I moved my rook across the board, then tipped Spike’s king in victory. I stood up and started pacing, giving the illusion that I was deep in thought.

“I have some… business associates,” I said carefully. “Since it’s mutually beneficial that the Mythos Crew does well, they keep a very close eye on who we let in. They probably don’t approve of who we decided to replace Moondancer with.”

“The hell is Moondancer?”

“The original owner of that mask you like so much,” said Spike. “Before you, we had two others. Lyra and Moondancer.”

“What happened to them?” asked Dash. Perfect. She was forgetting about the coke.

“They took one for the team, got themselves arrested so Spike and I could escape,” I said. “They haven’t given us up, so Spike and I are trying to finance a breakout.”

Rainbow Dash shook her head, trying to convince her brain to stop shutting down on her. I couldn’t quite tell if her panic stemmed from drugs or just paranoia. Although, I suppose if someone does as much coke as Dash, everything stems from drugs in one way or another. Regardless, my ploy seemed to have worked. She was calming down.

“So you know who did this?” asked Dash.

“I know who probably did this, yes. But there’s not a whole lot I can do about it,” I said. “They’re kinda untouchable. For now.” Just as I predicted, Rainbow left that one alone. She had nothing to say and, for once, she kept her mouth shut. That was good for me. That meant she would be relatively easy to trick, at least for a while.

“Should I be scared?” she asked.

“Nah, these guys don’t wanna hurt you,” said Spike. “Just spook you. We’ll deal with them in due time.”

Dash sighed, then pulled out a cigarette and stuck it in her mouth. She patted her pockets in search of a lighter. Spike spat a little plume of emerald fire, igniting the cigarette for her.

“Thanks,” she said as she placidly puffed on her cancer stick. “Alright, since I’m here, let’s get some shit done.”

“Spike, the details, if you would,” I requested. Spike nodded, then walked over to a laptop sitting on the map. He maneuvered through his files and opened up his planning documents, which were then displayed on the big screen.

“We’re going to be stealing guns approaching two hundred years in age,” said Spike. “So they’re valuable. I estimate that one good rifle will be worth $1,600 to $3,000 a pop. Our guy, the Historian, will pay 250 for all the guns we can carry, but he says fees are negotiable.”

“If they're worth $3,000 dollars a pop, why would we take 250?” asked Dash, which was quite possibly the dumbest question I've heard. “That's a hell of a loss.”

“That's 250K, Rainbow,” I sighed. “Split three ways, that's about $83,333. Some of that will have to go offshore, but it'll all be yours. Just not all at once.” Dash spat out a swirl of smoke, then flicked her cigarette onto the floor.

“You had me at ‘250K’. When do we move in on this?” asked Rainbow, stamping out the cigarette. I grinned, then looked over Spike’s shoulder at the map he had up.

“Well, I think we've put enough time and distance between us and the jewelry store,” I said. “Three days to case, two to get our tools together, one to meet with the Historian… Next Sunday?”

“Monday,” said Spike. “I wanna know the guard patrol. How do you want to do this?”

“I vote that we kick in the front door,” tried Dash.

“Oh, that's cute,” I chuckled. “You think you get a vote. We're doing this quietly. Spike, check the roof for access points.”

He pulled the map to full screen, displaying it on the big screen. Spike reached into his pocket and pulled out a laser pointer. Spike pointed the red beam at a corner in the northwest of the building.

“Skylight here. We can pop it open and rappel down,” said Spike. He pointed to the eastern part of the building. “Alternatively, we can go through a maintenance room on the roof. There's probably a way in from there.” I peered a little closer at the screen.

“What about there?” I asked, pointing. Spike turned the laser to the area I was looking. “That looks like a ventilation shaft.”

“It is. Fans and stuff are in the way, we can't get through it,” said Spike. I smirked deviously.

“Perfect,” I said. “That's our ticket in.” The crew looked at me curiously.

“Uh… You got a plan for those blades?” asked Dash.

“They're not a problem.”

“I dunno, Twi,” said Spike. “Fast-moving pieces of sharp metal blocking our entrance is kinda a big problem, I think.”

“Oh, it is. But that's not our entrance.” I grinned widely. “We're moving in on Sunday, and we're going right through the front door. Just like Dash said.”

“Why the ventilation? Why not the skylight or the maintenance room?”

“They’re imperfect solutions. Easy to get in but hard to get out. Plus, if we rapelled down through the skylight, a guard could catch us with our pants down.”

“I see. So how did you manage to get past the fans without disabling them?”

Twilight laughed fondly to herself. Of the many heists she had pulled in her years, the Museum was one of her absolute favorites. She always had a thing for silent jobs, to sneak in and out without anyone even knowing she was there. To her, that was the epitome of theft. To swipe what she wanted right from beneath the owner’s nose. It was exhilarating.

“That was never the plan,” said Twilight. “Going in through the vents created more problems than it solved.”

“But you told Ms. Dash that they were your ticket in.” The prosecutor had a stiff, superior air to him, as if he knew something that Twilight didn’t. Twilight was confident that this wasn’t the case.

“Yes. It was our ticket in.” Twilight leaned forward. “But you don’t get into a theater through a ticket. That’s just what gets the door open.”

The Museum

“You’re being unreasonable.”

“I hired you for a job, a job that I will be paying you handsomely for. Do not get greedy.”

“Just the one rifle is all I want. Take it out of my cut.”

“Absolutely not! You do as you’re told, get what we have discussed, and that is all!”

I glared at the Historian from behind my mask angrily. If I wasn’t on the job, I might’ve punched him in his stupid little goatee. He peered at me from behind his horn-rimmed glasses, his beady little golden eyes looking through me in search of a soul. Dash stood just behind me, twitching nervously. This was her first run in with criminals other than me and Spike, and she was under a lot of pressure not to ruin the job. I could understand her anxiety, especially because I was in the process of ruining the job.

Our disagreement was happening in the Historian’s massive mansion, inside his extremely impressive library. As a librarian myself, I could, and did, appreciate a good collection of literature when I saw it. I made note of some of the dusty, unloved volumes for later. His disregard for his books disgusted me. I could tell just by looking at them that he hadn’t opened them outside of once or twice when he first got them. I decided that I’d probably come and steal some of his books at a later date.

For now, I was focused on getting my hands on a rifle. What irritated me the most was how relatively worthless the rifle was. It was, compared to some of the other pieces he wanted me to get, quite a bit on the lower end of the pool. It wouldn’t be much loss for him to let me keep the gun, but he was being… difficult.

“I think I’m being quite fair with what I expect to be paid,” I said. “I could be charging north of half a mil for what you want from me, but I’m cutting you a deal out of respect. The least you could do is let me keep one of the guns.”

“Ms. Medusa, do not try to pull the wool over my eyes.” The Historian had no weapon, but there were eight guards within shooting range. Either he had an insane amount of trust in me or he greatly underestimated what I was capable of. “I have been more than generous enough to offer you a bonus for extra items. Do not confuse my kindness for weakness.”

“One rifle is all I want. I am willing to take a third off of the price, a third, just for this one rifle,” I said. “I was under the impression that you were a businessman. Negotiate.”

“That’s where you’re wrong, Ms. Medusa.” The Historian reached into the breast pocket of his very expensive suit (which made my two-piece seem like a cheap sweater) and pulled out a cigar. “I am not a businessman. I am a collector, and I am the boss. I do not like it when those who work for me cannot follow instructions.”

He gestured for one of his goons, who came up and cut the end of his cigar. He offered the Historian a lighter, which he used to ignite the end.

“If you cannot obey, then perhaps our relationship should come to an early end.” The greedy old man didn’t communicate his threat with any sort of malice in his voice. He just sounded as if he was getting tired of talking to me, and that he would love for me to roll over and do as I was told.

Behind my mask, I smirked spitefully. The only differences between me and the Historian was age and career choice.

“If you’re sure I can’t change your mind…” I turned my back on my employer. “We have nothing more to discuss. You’ll have your guns by Tuesday at the latest, depending on circumstances. Have my money ready before then, if you don’t mind.”

“Of course, Ms. Medusa. I would be happy to,” said the Historian. “I await your return. Perhaps by then you’ll learn to be more like your partner.” I could just imagine the smarmy, sleazy, patronizing look on his face. “Silent. Obedient.”

“Only time will tell, sir,” I said. “Apollo, let’s go.”

Dash didn’t say anything until after we left the mansion. She didn’t seem to understand what went down, but she could tell I was irritated. Still, she managed to keep her questions inside until we were in the van.

“What happened back there?” she asked, pulling off her mask. I turned the key, then put my foot to the gas. I grabbed my burner phone from my pocket, tossed it to Rainbow, then set off down the street and away from the mansion.

“Call Spike,” I said, ignoring her question. She dialed the number, then put it on speaker. Spike answered, swiftly and silently. “We spoke to the Historian. We’re ready when you are.”

“Oh, that sounds like an angry Twilight,” noted Spike. He was at the Museum, dealing with some loose ends. “Didn’t get your guns?”

“The dude is a prick. I want one gun, and that’s all,” I complained. “It’s not even especially valuable, not in a traditional sense.”

“Then why do you want it?” asked Dash.

“Because some people who aren’t idiots appreciate history.” I admit, I probably shouldn’t have snapped at RD like that, but I was angry. “You know? History? That class you slept in, skipped, ignored, or otherwise jerked yourself through? Yeah, some of us care about that sort of thing. Don’t worry your pretty, little, empty head about it.”

“Wow. Someone’s pissy,” said Dash. “Is it Shark Week or what?”

“Oh, don’t mind her, Rainbow,” said Spike. I could almost feel the smirk on his face. “Twilight’s just not used to not getting what she wants.”

“That’s because I normally just steal it. But that’s not going to be an option just yet.” I tapped the steering wheel impatiently. “Stupid old man…”

“Okay, I’m legit lost here,” said Dash, not for the last time. “The Historian is what? Sixty? How old are you exactly, cause I started thinking you’re mid-fifties or something.”

“Forty-seven, but glad to know that I look good for my age,” I sarcastically remarked. “Spike, do you have everything you need?”

“Sure do. Heading back home now. I gotta say, Twi. This plan is…”

“Brilliant?”

“I was gonna say ‘cliche’, but whatever helps you sleep at night,” he joked. “In all seriousness, this is strangely simple.”

“I don’t feel like getting flashy tonight. I just want to get the guy his guns, so I can steal them back,” I said. I reached into Rainbow’s breast pocket and stole a cigarette. “Dash, light this.” She did as she was told, and I stuck the cig in my mouth, puffing thoughtfully.

Only difference was age and career choice.

We did one last bout of casing, which carried us into the night. It was amazing what a simple Ventilation Installation & Repair decal could do to my sweet blue Chariot. To the untrained eye (and a few that were trained) we looked like a legitimate repair business. We even had the uniforms. Spike had done a good job of parking us in a place where other vehicles seldom moved from. Movement draws attention, and we needed everyone around us to be just as still as we were.

“We good?” asked Rainbow. “I’m itching to get moving.”

“Geez, smoke a cig or something,” I said, ironically impatient. “Hydra should be back soon.” A short second later, my burner rang. I answered it and put it to my ear. “Canterlot Ventilation Repair, how may I help you?”

“The perimeter checks out,” said Spike. “Head to the roof, I’ll pull the van closer while you set up.”

I disconnected the line and threw the phone into the glovebox. Gesturing to Dash, I hopped to the back and grabbed my supplies: my standard issue duffel bag, which held my mask, cable ties, guns, and other goodies, and another bag with the materials I would need. Dash grabbed two bags herself, though one was rather awkward to carry. It was a roll of thin, metallic thermal insulation, and Dash had to sling it under her arm uncomfortably in order to carry it.

“So, how long do I have to carry shit for you guys?” she whispered.

“Slow your roll there, starter pack,” I teased. “Someone has to do the heavy lifting. Now hush.”

We sat two blocks south of the museum, an area consisting mostly of businesses that were closed by now. It was nothing for us to sneak down the street and to the rear of the museum, belted with a large, barb-wired fence. The gate was padlocked, obviously, so I dropped my bag, masked up, and went digging in search of my lockpicking kit.

“I got this,” said Dash. I looked up to see her aiming her suppressed 12-gauge at the lock. I grabbed the gun and yanked it out of her hands.

“Are you insane, or just stupid?” I demanded. “You can’t just shoot a shotgun at a lock!”

“It’s silenced,” said Dash with a shrug. I swear, it’s like this girl wanted me to kill her.

“No, it’s suppressed. There’s a difference.” I handed the gun back. “And that’s not even the real problem. The problem is that the real world isn’t a movie! You shoot that lock, I guarantee that not only will the lock not break completely, but the parts that do break will end up flying into your face.” I shoved Dash away and started picking the lock. In about thirty seconds, I managed to pop it open and slip it in my pocket.

“You’re such a stiff, boss,” scoffed Dash.

“Get up the goddamn ladder,” I said flatly. We proceeded forward to a ladder that led to the roof, for maintenance purposes. I led Dash up the dented, rusty red ladder and onto the gravelly rooftop. I peered around, picking out the nearest ventilation exhaust. Dash noticed it, made her way to it, and dropped her bag to dig out the insulation sheet. She pulled out the thin plane of metal, which had a small hole in it, taping it to the exhaust fan.

“How is this going to work?” asked Dash. “Isn’t the whole point of these things to keep air moving out?”

“Hydra reversed the spin of the fans,” I said. “They hardly push any air out at all. But that’s also why we have that on there.” I pulled open my secondary bag, pulling out a steel canister and plastic tube. After connecting one end to the canister, I took the roll of tape from Dash and used it to secure the other end of the tube to the hole in the metal sheet. I grabbed two small respirator masks and tossed one to my companion. When our respirators were secured beneath our heist masks, I turned a valve at the top of the canister, flooding the vents, shaft, and, eventually, entire museum, with a gas of my own composition. I glanced at my watch, then shut off the gas after ten minutes. We packed up, slid down the ladder, and headed around the other side of the building. I stopped by the van, which was now missing its decal, and deposited the materials in the back.

Finally, everything was set. The real heist could begin. By the time we made it into the building, the poor bastards who had the misfortune of inhaling my K.O. gas were bound and gagged with duct tape in a corner. Standing opposite of the front door was my favorite dragon, donning the yellowish-brown mask of the Hydra. Its face reassembled an arrowhead in shape, layered with faint scales all down its surface. The big, shining eyes of the mask were just the same shade of green as Spike’s.

“Gas is all clear by now,” he said, twirling his respirator around his finger. “Your little cocktail worked like a charm, Medusa. Out like lights.” Dash and I pulled off our respirators and slipped them into our bags.

“Lead the way, Hydra,” I said, grinning from behind my mask. “Where to?”

“Next room over.”

I practically ran to the next room, to the cases of beautiful, historic, intricate, antique weapons. There were thirteen cases of guns, only seven of which marked by the Historian. The other five were fair game. We could keep them, or sell them piecemeal to my client. Unfortunately, the one rifle I wanted was not of the five cases I could keep.

“Why do you want this gun, anyway?” asked Spike, picking the case that contained the rifle in question. It was a gorgeous, glinting little rifle. I could see it from where I was, the intricate etching in the side, the engraving of “StB” on the stock. Simply beautiful.

“It was owned by a man named Starswirl. Just over 100 years ago, he headed the crew that would eventually become Mythos,” I explained, working on the next case. “He was my grandfather.”

“Cool,” said Dash. “So it’s like a memento, huh?”

“Yeah. Get over here and start bagging, please.” My gaze lingered as Spike raised the dusty, ancient rifle that I so desired and lowered it into the bag.

“What’s with you, Medusa?” asked Spike. “I didn’t peg you as overly sentimental. Especially since the guy got caught.”

“I only want the gun because of how he got caught,” I said. I might’ve explained more, had I not heard the click of a gun behind me.

“Drop your weapon, buddy.” I turned, ready to fire at whoever was behind me. I was met with the end of a cerulean revolver levelled at my forehead. I froze, noticing that my assailant had another gun in his hand, this one aimed at Spike.

“Crap.” Spike lowered his gun gently. I did the same, formulating a way out of the sticky situation I found myself in.

“And you, rookie, I suggest you stay where you are,” said the newcomer. “I’m only getting paid for the leader, but I’ve got no problem spending a bullet on you for insurance.”

“Drop the gun, Apollo,” I said.“And nobody do anything stupid.”

“Let’s not blow this out of proportion,” said our attacker, a stupid grin on his smug little face. I finally got a chance to look at the guy; His skin was dark, contrasting starkly with his bright white hair. His eyes were somewhere in between, a cold, calm steel.

“What’s your name, son?” I asked.

“I’ll tell you mine when I hear yours, ma’am,” he replied.

“Well, considering at least two of us will be dead in a few minutes anyway, my name is Twilight. Yours?”

“Silver.”

“Dash, I need you to lower that gun now,” I said, not taking my eyes off of my opponent. “I have things under control.” I heard Rainbow drop her gun to the ground from somewhere to my left. “So, Silver. What brings you here?”

“I’m getting paid to murder you,” said Silver. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Why?”

“Well, at a guess, I’d say you made an enemy.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Spike slowly raise his mask. Instantly, I knew what he intended to do.

“I’ve been doing this a long time, kid. I’ve made a lot of enemies,” I said. “But which one is paying you?”

“Don’t know. Never asked his name. It’s rude in this business, y’know?” Silver grinned. “Some history buff. Golden eyes, horn-rimmed glasses. The douchiest goatee I’ve ever seen. He had a great book collection, there were a few pieces that I really wanted, but...”

“Who does this sound like?” asked Spike rhetorically.

“The Historian?” asked Dash. “Why would he want us dead?”

“Working on it, rookie. Give me a second to think,” I said.

“Sorry, ma’am, but your seconds are running out,” he said. “I’m going to count backwards from three, and then I’m going to pull the trigger. 3.”

I spared a glance at Spike, his mask resting on his nose. Silver still hadn’t noticed.

“2.”

“Alright, let’s get this over with,” I sighed. Spike inhaled deeply, then blew out a huge plume of emerald flames between me and Silver. I ducked under the flames, grabbed him by the wrist, and wrestled him to the ground. I kicked the guns to Spike then, for good measure, planted my foot to Silver’s shoulder. I jerked his arm forcefully until I was met with that sickly satisfying POP!

“Son of a bitch!”

“Alright, boy, I dislocated your shoulder,” I said. “Hopefully, my next step is to kill you.”

“Whoa, boss! That was pretty badass!” cheered Dash. I rolled my unseen eyes.

“You, finish gathering the guns, then bring them over to the Historian. Me and Silver are gonna go for a little walk.” I beckoned for a gun. Spike grabbed one of Silver’s revolvers and tossed it to me.

“Damn it, this hurts!” moaned Silver. I grabbed him by the dislocated arm and wrenched him to his feet, threatening him with his own gun.

“I said walk, but do you have a car?” I asked my new hostage. “I’d rather not have to walk all the way to wherever I decide to bury you.”

“You’re not actually gonna kill him, are you?” asked Rainbow. “I mean, that’s kinda cold, don’t you think?”

“If you don’t have the stomach for dirty work, I suggest you get a real job, Ms. Dash,” I said, completely dodging her question. “Car. Now.”

I marched the hitman right out of the museum, keeping my new gun trained on him the whole time. He led me down the block to an inconspicuous silver sedan. I pulled open the passenger door and shoved him in. Still aiming my gun, I walked around to the driver’s side and slid in next to him.

“Could you make this any more humiliating?” asked Silver. “You’re going to kill me in my own car with my own gun?”

“I’m not going to kill you. Not if you do as I say.”

“Well, I like not being dead, so shoot.” His eyes widened. “You know, in retrospect, that was a poor choice of words.”

“Listen. The guy who hired you to kill me? He also hired me to steal those guns,” I said. “Which means he has no issue with killing his own guys. If he thinks I’m disposable…”

“Then so am I. Alright, boss lady. What do you suggest?” I grinned.

“Follow my directions to the letter and you get those books you wanted.”

“Mate,” said Spike, tipping my king in disbelief. “Holy hell, did I just beat you at chess? I should buy a lottery ticket.”

“Huh. Guess I’m still reeling from last night,” I said with a shrug. “It’s been quite a while since we’ve been in a situation like that.” I heard Rainbow unlock the entrance upstairs and start down the ladder.

“You sure she should be here for this?” asked Spike. “I don’t know if she’s ready for something like this.”

“Something like what?”

“Well, we’re going to ice the Historian, aren’t we?”

I remained silent, listening to the approaching footsteps of our newest heister. After a short few seconds, Rainbow pushed open the doors to the Planning Room, holding a large rectangular box in her arms.

“Uh… This was outside of the laundromat,” said Dash. “I figured you would want to check it out.”

“Thanks,” I said. I crossed the room and took the box from her, tearing open one end. I reached in and slowly pulled out an old, dusty, elegant rifle. My thumb traced the swirls carved into the body, then the letters “StB” in the stock.

“Wait, what?” Spike stared incredulously. “How did you get Starswirl’s gun?”

“With my feminine wiles,” I said with a chuckle. “Also, a revolver.”

“Did you…”

“Let’s get to work, gang. Spike, what do we have up for the next one?”

I hardly listened as Spike stowed his questions away and began listing off jobs. I was too busy thinking about where to hang my new rifle.

“Why didn’t you kill Silver?”

“That would be a very short-sighted solution. He could still prove useful.”

“Useful in what way?”

“Silver was more than just a hitman. He handled problems. If something came up, it would be very advantageous to have someone like him on the payroll.”

“I see. So, what happened next?”

Twilight’s grin faltered for the first time. As far as she could tell, the next part was the beginning of the end. The situation wasn’t a constant drop, but the decay began a few weeks after the run in with the Historian.

“After that, we laid low for a bit,” said Twilight. “Spike wanted to do a few little things, but Dash wanted a big heist. I agreed with Dash. So, while we waited for a big heist to make itself known, we practiced and we studied.”

“Studied what?” asked the prosecutor.

“Each other.”

“Interesting. You mentioned that you only wanted Starswirl’s rifle because of how he was apprehended.”

“Right, of course. The original Mythos Crew consisted of Starswirl, Clover, Meadowbrook, and my grandfather’s best friend, Discord,” Twilight explained. “They were in the middle of the biggest score of their lives. Just as they were getting away, Clover, Meadow, and Discord decided to cut out one share. My grandfather was shot in the back, with his own gun, by his best friend and left to die.”

“And you wanted the rifle why?”

“To serve as a reminder not to make the same mistake that Starswirl did.” Twilight leaned forward tiredly. “It served as a reminder not to trust anyone.”

New Talent

“He’s becoming an issue.”

“Not yet, he’s not. We don’t even know what he’s doing.”

“He’s gunning for us, and I do not want to be unprepared for when he reaches us.”

Spike and I don’t argue very often. When we do, it’s about something big. This time, we were debating our options. There was a threat to the Mythos crew, and Spike and I had differing ideas on how to deal with it.

“We need to get rid of him before it’s too late,” I said, leaning on our circular map. “If we let him get ahead of us, it’ll be Lyra and Moonie all over again.”

“But he’s not a threat yet. He doesn’t even realize it’s us,” argued Spike. “If we make our move now, he’ll definitely be on our ass. Don’t show your hand until all cards have been dealt.” I smirked at my friend, laughing at how much of me has rubbed off on him.

“Using my own advice against me,” I chuckled. “Fine. We ignore The Captain for now, but if I even remotely feel he might be a problem…”

“Right hand to God, I’ll deal with him,” promised Spike. “Now, about Dash…”

“She doesn’t need to know about this. Like you said, don’t show your hand.”

“Alright. So, you gonna make me wait until she gets here to talk to me about the job?” asked Spike, laying out on the couch. “You’ve been hyping it up all day.”

“What can I say? This one excites me,” I said with a shrug. “I want to wait for Dash. It’ll be easier to explain if—”. I felt my cellphone go off, one of my spares for business. Unless it was Silver thanking me for the books, it would be Dash apologizing for being late. True to my prediction, it was the latter, based on the number. I flipped open the phone and silently brought it to me ear.

“Yo, Boss, sorry I’m late,” said Dash. “I lost track of time, family stuff, and… Well, I’m down the block, I’ll be there in two minutes.”

I closed my phone and returned it to my pocket. While waiting for my team to assemble, I borrowed Spike’s laptop to get my files together. Keeping sensitive documents like work plans on a laptop was typically a horrible idea. However, it was encrypted six ways from Sunday, and it never left the laundromat. Furthermore, we replaced it every three or four months. It was as safe as this dangerous risk could be.

“Wow, you made a PowerPoint?” asked Spike. “You must really like this job if you’re willing to pick up a computer.”

“Shut up, boy,” I said with a snicker. I heard a dull thunk from upstairs from the dryer, then Dash’s steps down the ladder. Her steps quickened, and she eventually shoved open the door. Dash looked tired, as if she had ran here, which—in retrospect—she likely did.

“Yo, sorry, guys,” panted Rainbow. “I was watching the news and my sister came in, we started chatting, and I kinda lost track of time.”

“You can’t pay bills with excuses, Ms. Dash,” I said. I was about to continue on, when I realized what she said. “Wait, you have a sister?”

“Uh… Yeah. Well, kinda,” Dash said with a shrug. “It’s kinda weird.”

“What’s her name?”

“Scootaloo. Why?” Dash seemed nervous, but I wasn’t quite sure of what. I assumed she must have been hiding something

“Never heard you talk about her before,” I said. I played it cool, as if I was just asking. “Just curious.”

“I don’t like mixing home and work. That’s how things get weird. Speaking of work…” How interesting. Dash seemed quite eager to change the subject. “Who are we robbing today?”

“No one. This job is different,” I said with a grin. I spared about half of my mind to be suspicious of Dash, but focused mainly on work. “If you’re anything like me, you’re going to love this one.”

I opened up my files, clicking a particular video and displaying it on the screen. It was bank security footage, but not one of a bank Mythos had hit. I grabbed Spike’s trusty laser pointer, then started the video.

“Watch,” I said simply. I played the silent video. On screen, it was normal bank business for a few moments. Then, out of the blue, a girl runs in, brandishing a handgun at the bank teller. She wore a mask different from a Mythos mask. It was a simple cloth piece that did little more than cover her face.

“How’d you get this?” asked Dash.

“As it so happens, I have connections. Technically speaking, I own that bank,” I said. “It’s how we do our laundry. Now hush. It’s getting good.”

The robber-to-be was apparently yelling at the teller to fill up a bag, periodically looking over her shoulder to shout at the civilians. One girl, with grey skin and silver pigtails, got bold. She made a run for it. The robber turned and fired, catching the girl in the neck. I noticed Rainbow flinch, not used to that sort of cold-blooded murder.

“Jesus,” whispered Rainbow. “I don’t get it. What’s the job?”

“Wait a second, you need to see the next video,” I said. I pulled up the video in question. It was a different bank, another one of mine. Two girls in trench coats walked in, tears running down their faces. They got to the teller and removed their jackets, revealing vests outfitted with enough plastic explosives to level the building. The teller panicked, and filled their bags with cash without much questioning. It wasn’t until the girls turned around did Dash notice.

“Wait, wait, is that the same girl that got shot?” she asked. I nodded. “What are the dates on these?”

“The first video was last Saturday. This one was from yesterday,” I said with a grin. “And both girls in both videos are exactly the same. These girls are doing fake heists.”

“Fake… Fake heists.” Spike took a moment to let that sink in. “That is freaking brilliant!”

“I know, right? So, I figured we’d approach these shining young stars and…” I paused for a second, trying to find the proper word. “Recruit them.”

“Wait, I still don’t follow,” said Rainbow. “I get that they’re working together, but how does supposedly murdering someone help you rob banks?”

“Think about it. If you saw someone die, you wouldn’t want to piss off whoever killed them,” said Spike. “And the explosives, that’s just brilliant! Tellers have their reservations when giving their cash to a criminal, but a hostage? Whole different game.”

“They’ll do anything to save those poor girls,” I chuckled. “People are so stupid. They just love to play the hero.”

“Whatevs. Heroes aren’t real,” scoffed Dash. “Everyone is out for themselves.” How interesting.

“Oh? You don’t believe in good, Ms. Dash?” I asked. “Didn’t your mom and dad teach you that there are everyday heroes? Ones without capes? Doctors, firefighters—”

“Cops? SWAT?” Rainbow dropped her carefree tone. “What about Special Agents for the FBI?”

I froze, my lips shaping to form a lie that my brain hadn’t come up with yet. Spike shared my shock, and similarly had nothing to say. Dash crossed her arms over her chest, tapping her foot impatiently. She was waiting for an explanation.

“Remember how I said I was watching the news?” said Dash. “Well, I managed to catch a press conference given by a certain Captain Shining Armor.”

“Shit,” said Spike.

“This Shining Armor douchebag is apparently stopping at nothing to bring down the fabled Mythos Crew,” Rainbow continued. “He’s what you’d call a threat to business, so I did a bit of research.”

“Dash, hold on just a sec, I—” I began.

“And, lo and behold, he’s your fucking brother!” Rainbow exploded. “Your goddamn, honest-to-god, flesh and blood, motherfucking brother! How could you not tell me about something this big? I’m sick and tired of you assholes lying to me!”

“I know, I know,” I said, raising my hands up to my chest. “Calm down. Look, I’m sorry. Thing is, I was afraid you’d react like this. You’re right, though. I should’ve told you.”

“You’re damn right, you should’ve told me! I’m a part of this Crew, just like you two. This matters! You can’t just keep important shit like this from me!”

Rainbow was livid, and justifiably so. It was wrong of me to withhold something this big from her. I made a mistake in thinking that I could manipulate her without giving her any information. It was arrogant of me.

“Shining Armor is indeed my brother,” I said with a heavy sigh. “And we’re close. He doesn’t know about my side-business. As for as he knows, I work for the Royal Library, which I do. He doesn’t know anything about Mythos, and—surprising though this may be—I have no intention of telling him. He’s coming up on us, yes. Spike and I were discussing options.”

“Well, maybe you should’ve included me in that discussion,” said Dash. I nodded slightly. Again, she was kind of right.

“And we will. From now on, you’ll be kept in the loop,” said Spike. “Twi just didn’t want to have to act against her brother yet. You must know what that’s like, to fight with your sister. This is kinda a big deal.”

Rainbow didn’t want to drop it, that was obvious. What was equally obvious was the fact that Spike had struck a nerve. Dash bit her lip in thought, trying to decide if this would be the last straw for her. After a long, tired sigh, she pulled out a cigarette and stuck it in her mouth.

“What the hell were we talking about?” asked Rainbow as she lit her cigarette. “The girls. What are we going to do?”

“Kidnap them,” I said simply.

I watched the girl, the leader girl, from through my binoculars. From my position a hundred or so feet away, I could see her flawlessly—even in the perfect darkness of the moonless night. The other girl was somewhere else in the house, but I couldn’t see her from my position.

“You have the other girl in sight?” I asked.

“I do now,” said Dash, her voice ringing in my ear through my earpiece. “She’s leaving the basement. When do we move in?”

“As soon as Hydra’s ready.”

“Uh… Yeah, we’re all good,” said Spike. “Van’s parked and I have the route all planned. Let’s go.”

“Remember how to pick the lock?” I asked Dash as I moved forward and crossed to the house in question. I pulled the revolver that I stole from Silver (I liked it, so I kept it) and held it down as I moved on.

“Yup, but doesn’t matter,” said Dash.

“What?” I approached the front door and went to pick it when it swung open. I levelled my gun at the head of whoever was on the other side, pressing the barrel against Apollo’s mask.

“Door’s unlocked,” she said. I shook my head.

“Get ready,” I said. I led her through the house, splitting up in the living room. I would go searching for the leader, while Dash would take the other girl. The house was a decent size, but it wouldn’t take me too long to find the girls. The leader was leaving the kitchen when I left my surveillance spot, so I figured she’d be heading to the bathroom, then bed. The bathroom was empty, so I went on to the master bedroom. I got there and…

“Where the heck did she go?” I muttered to myself. I turned around just in time to see the girl I was gunning for aim a pistol in between my eyes.

“You robbed the wrong house,” she said. “Who are you?”

“Medusa. That’s what they call me, anyway,” I said calmly. “And to whom do I owe the pleasure?”

“Diamond Tiara. Why are you here?” she asked. She was so focused on me that she didn’t hear the not-quite-silent footsteps of my partner.

“There’s something here of value to me,” I said. “One last question. Does that rag smell like chloroform to you?”

Rainbow wrapped her arm around Diamond’s neck, forcing a rag over her nose and mouth. After a few minutes of struggling, her flailing ceased and she fell unconscious. Almost without effort, she hefted the unconscious girl over her shoulder.

“The other one is downstairs, if you wanna grab her,” said Dash. “What’s with you and getting held up at gunpoint? Is that some kinda trademark of yours? Or is that something new that comes with age?”

“Shut up and take her out to evac,” I said. “We’ll get them up to speed when we get to the second safe house.”

I followed Dash out of the house, stopping to grab the other girl. I was a bit annoyed at how sloppy I was getting. Maybe Dash was right. I was getting old.

Maybe I shouldn’t have sought after two new students until I have the first one where I want her.

“You bowed down to Rainbow Dash quite easily. How much did that hurt your ego?”

“Not at all. I didn’t bow to her. I simply chose my battles.”

“She asserted her dominance over you.”

“I showed compassion by allowing her to be angry.”

Twilight peered at the persecutor angrily. The little man was really getting under her skin, and she thought he must’ve been aware of that.

“There are two ways to tackle a situation like that,” explained Twilight. “I chose the tactful route. I was wrong and—instead of seeming like a tyrant now—I saved it for later.”

“Was there actually a ‘later’?”

“There were several. Dash is more stubborn than most. She needed constant pressure or she would start thinking that she ran the Crew. Worse, she began thinking that I was to be bargained with.”

“And the other girls. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.” The prosecutor looked at his notes to ensure that he had the names correct. “Did they have this problem?”

“Oh, no. They had a much different problem. It’s a shame, too,” sighed Twilight. “When I looked at Diamond, I saw myself.”

“And what was the problem?”

“I saw too much of myself.”

Author's Note

Sorry for the delay on this one. Hope you enjoyed!

Mythos Paid Internship Program

“Silver… Silver Spoon…”

“Not here.”

“Where… am I…?”

“Nowhere. Everywhere. Does it matter?”

Diamond Tiara stirred sleepily, her wrists bound by padlocked chain links attached to a ring on the floor. She was just returning to the land of the living, from the looks of it. She had been muttering about that friend of hers for a few minutes, and didn’t seem to be retaining any information. I had given the same “nowhere, everywhere” answer four or five times.

“Wake up, Ms. Tiara,” I said, flipping my revolver over in my hand from my improvised cinderblock seat. “I’m a busy woman.”

“Ugh…”

Diamond groggily sat up, just enough slack in her chains to allow her to rub her eyes. She let out a yawn, scratching behind her ear. Her apparent sleepiness was shed entirely when she saw the faint green face of my mask.

“Don’t run,” I said. Immediately ignoring my advice, she took off. She tripped over her bindings and fell, smashing her face into the cold concrete. “I warned you.”

“Who… Who are you?” She panted, scraping herself off the floor.

“They call me Medusa,” I said. “We’ve actually met before. I broke into your house?” I could see the remembrance flood her. “That thing of value I was looking for? I got it.”

“Look, if you want ransom money, you’re barking up the wrong tree,” said Diamond. “My dad won’t pay a penny for me.”

“Oh, no. This isn’t about money. Well, it is. But not like that,” I said, setting my gun down and pushing myself to my feet. “If I free you, can I trust you to not try and punch me in the face?” Diamond mulled it over for a bit.

“Silver Spoon. Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. As soon as we’re done with our chat, you’ll be allowed to see her.” I said. I pulled a key from my pocket, waving it through the air. “Seriously, I will be very upset if I end up with a black eye because I decided to be nice. If you do something stupid, I will break your legs.”

“What are you going to do to me?” The girl didn’t sound scared in the slightest. The arrogance in her voice was thick, slimy. I liked it.

“Nothing. I just want to talk to you,” I said. I carefully showed her the key, then unlocked the chains from her wrist.

“And you decided that chloroforming me was the best way to go about that?” snapped Diamond. She rubbed her wrists gingerly, trying not to show that they hurt. “Who the hell are you?”

“You really do have listening problems, don’t you?” I sighed. “They call me Medusa. I head a crew by the name of Mythos. We are some of the best heisters out there. You may have heard of us.”

“What does that have to do with me and my friend?”

“That bank you two robbed. The one where you pretended to shoot your friend,” I said. “That bank is, for all intents and purposes, mine.” Diamond shrunk down slightly, her mouth slightly agape. I could almost see the cogs in her head turning as she tried to find a way talk her way out of it.

“Er… Sorry about that,” she said. “We thought we were robbing people who wouldn’t kidnap us.”

“Cute. Well, I was impressed. I take it the C4 was real?” I asked. She nodded, unable to prevent herself from leaking pride. “My friend likes that one, but I’m partial to the gun thing. How did you manage that? With blood and everything?” Much like me, she couldn’t resist explaining her brilliance.

“I tied packets of costume blood to Silver Spoon’s neck,” explained Diamond. She tapped the sides of her neck to show precisely where. “I’m quite good with makeup, so I was able to hide them. I fired my gun, with blanks, and she clutched her throat.”

“With a pin in her hand,” I said, understanding the admittedly simple—but no less brilliant—trick. “That is very clever. That’s why I kidnapped you.”

“Eliminating competition?” she asked. I peered at her, waiting for her to elaborate. “If we’re so good, there are less banks for you to rob. Getting me and Silver Spoon out of the way brings you closer to a criminal monopoly.” I couldn’t help but laugh at that. Diamond thought so much like I did when I was her age.

“No, that’s not it. Clever though you may be, you don’t have the resources or experience to be any sort of competition,” I snickered. “You may be the best lemonade stand in the neighborhood, but I’m a multinational franchiser. I want to recruit you.”

“You want me to work for you?” she asked, a bit stupefied.

“You don’t steal for the money, do you?” She shook her head, confirming what I already knew. “Of course not. You steal for the same reasons that I do. I want you on my team. I have a bank heist lined up in Las Pegasus that would be perfect for a newbie like yourself. So, what do you say?”

Diamond looked at me, not with fear, not with concern, but with what appeared to be resentment. It was only there for a moment, but she was bitter. Bitter that I referred to her as a newbie? Or for insulting her operation? I hardly processed it, and she moved on before I could address her.

“When do we start?” she asked. I grinned.

“Welcome to the Mythos Paid Internship Program.”

“Alright, ladies and gentleman,” I said, pacing across the floor of the concrete floor of the auxiliary safehouse. “First National Bank of Las Pegasus. What do we know about it?”

“It’s big as hell,” said Rainbow. She made herself right at home on the couch, her feet kicked up on the table usually reserved for chess. “One of the biggest banks in Equestria, right?”

“Definitely the top five,” agreed Spike. “Which means it’s gonna be guarded.”

“Question,” said Silver Spoon quietly. I hadn’t heard much from her so far, further solidifying the idea that she was something of a sidekick. “Why are we robbing here of all places? There’s gotta be safer hits that are closer.”

“Shut up, Silver Spoon,” said Diamond Tiara. “Medusa knows what she’s doing.” Silver Spoon made no effort to argue. She just got quiet. That spoke a lot to what type of a friend Diamond Tiara was.

“She has a point, boss,” said Dash. “Why are we going across the country for a bank?”

“Two million a person, that’s why,” I said. Oh, the look on the little junkie’s face… You’d have thought she won the lottery. In a way, she had. “If you don’t want your cut, you can stay home and go back to mugging strangers. Otherwise, we need to start on a plan. Hydra?”

“I have some options, but they’re not perfect,” said Spike. “We have what we’ll call the Apollo Approach.”

“Rush in, balls swinging?” asked Dash. Spike nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

“Alternatives,” I said.

“Please,” added Diamond. She was quite the kiss-ass.

“Besides going in guns blazing, we can infiltrate through the rear,” explained Spike. “I don’t have any floor plans as of right now, but from what I can tell, there are two security rooms at the back. We sneak in, pick the lock, and knock out the camera dudes. We’ll control surveillance while Medusa heads to the top of the building to shut down silent alarms.”

“Downside?” I asked.

“It’s tough. We’d have to get in the building and security rooms without getting caught, or else we’ll be back to the Apollo Approach.” Spike pulled a cigarette from his pocket, lit it with his breath, and stuck it in his mouth. “Option number 2: We wait until dark, squeeze through an air duct, and pray we can get through the vault without waking up the entire neighborhood.”

“Sounds easy,” said Dash.

“Well, it’s not. If we run with this, we’ll have to find some information about the place. Might take a while, and if we botch it…”

“We’re caught with our pants down,” I said with a nod. “Risky move. Anything else?”

“Well… Not really, to tell the truth. I mean, I haven’t seen the place up close, so—”

“Uh, hello?” Diamond Tiara cut in. “Are you serious right now? There’s totally a third option. Why don’t we use my talents to get us in and out without resistance?”

“What, a C4 vest?” asked Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara flicked her on the forehead.

“No, you idiot! A hostage situation!”

“Like one of your fake heists?” Spike puffed out a little swirl of smoke. “That might work, actually. We walk in like we’re nobody, mask up, grab our quote-unquote ‘hostage’, get the green, and peel off.”

“That’s a big risk for whoever isn’t wearing a mask,” I pointed out. “Who’s willing to do that?”

“I’ll be the hostage,” offered Diamond. “What’s a little risk to two million dollars?”

“Alright, then. We need to be in Las Pegasus to finish planning,” I said. “Hydra? Do we have room and board in the west?” Spike turned his head up, clearly thinking on it.

“We can get some. When do we leave?” he asked.

“Tonight. The sooner, the better.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out two disposable prepaid phones, tossing one to each Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

“What are these for?” asked Silver Spoon. “We have phones, thanks.”

“They’re burners. You conduct all business through those phones, and you break them after every job,” I explained. “Never use your real name, and never use any terms besides ‘business’ or ‘work’ when referring to hitting a bank. Never give any information pertaining to the job unless you are sure that the other person is alone. Hydra will teach you more on the drive over, you’ll be riding with him.”

“What, you’re gonna cruise with me?” asked Dash. I nodded. “Um, okay. I gotta stop by my place first, if you don’t mind.”

“Whatever. I need to take a look at your place for bugs, anyway,” I said. “Hydra, get the girls some masks. Maybe the Janus set.”

“Nah. Echidna and Typhon,” said Spike.

“Ooh, I forgot about those. Make it happen, we’ll set off in…” I gestured to Dash.

“Um… Half an hour? Yeah, half an hour,” she said. “I’ll drive?”

“Let’s go.”

I followed Dash out of her car, leaving our masks in the trunk. It felt almost strange to be approaching her house, being invited in this time. Dash still didn’t know that I broke in, that I was the one who stole her drugs. I prefered to keep it that way.

“It might be a mess in there,” she warned me, digging in her pocket for her keys.

“I can only imagine. Don’t feel too bad about it.” I smiled slightly. “My apartment probably looks like a warzone. Come to think of it, I haven’t been there in ages. I might’ve been evicted…”

Dash pushed open the door and stepped into the house, looking around as if she was afraid of something inside. I followed her inside, stepping into the living room. Someone was waiting for us on the couch.

“Sup, D,” he said. He was a bit lighter than Rainbow, and perhaps more stable-looking. Dash didn’t look like a tweaker, but there was something wild and disheveled in her. This guy, he looked like her rebellious older brother.

“Soarin? What the hell are you doing here?” asked Dash. “And where’s the Squirt?”

“She’s not my kid. I think I saw her hanging down by the park. Probably snatching chains.” He leaned forward, smiling politely. “Oh, hello. Don’t think I caught your name?”

“Paul,” I said blandly. “Dash, hurry up and do what you need to do.”

“I was just gonna tell Scoots that I was out, and maybe…” Dash’s eyes widened. “Soarin… Are you here to deliver something?” Soarin grinned, reached into his pocket, then tossed Dash a small baggie containing what appeared to be an eighth-ounce of cocaine.

“As per usual, the 8 ball is on the house,” said Soarin. “For my valued customer.”

“I thought…”

“Well, I like you, so I pulled some strings and got my guy to give me a bit more. I’m charging you, though.”

Dash held the bag as if afraid it would melt away in her hands. She shoved it into her pocket, ran over to the couch, and tackled Soarin in a tight, hysterical hug.

“Dude, you are the absolute fucking best!” she squealed. I sighed, shaking my head at the display.

“I’ll be in the car,” I sighed.

“Don’t you find your concern for Dash’s health to be a bit backwards?”

“How do you figure?”

“You’re convincing her to throw her life away. Who cares how she does it?”

Twilight didn’t see herself as particularly shallow or short sighted. She couldn’t understand how anyone could get the idea that she didn’t think for the long game. So the prosecutor's reasoning not only annoyed her, but it truly baffled her. Some things she just couldn’t wrap her head around, even with her genius.

“She’s my employee. I need her to be focused, or bad things will happen,” said Twilight, as calmly as she could. “Furthermore, she is my friend.”

“Was.” Twilight tilted her head slightly. “Well, she betrayed you and gave you up, so I struggle to believe that she’s your friend still.” Twilight made no response, which the prosecutor saw as his chance to ask a question that had been on his mind. “You said to Ms. Tiara that she steals for the same reason that you do. What reason is that?”

Twilight took her time answering. It wasn’t especially complicated, but she still wanted to take her time and ensure that she was saying everything she wanted, exactly the way she wanted to say it.

“I am a glorified librarian. Every few weeks, the Royal Library will call me and ask me to read a book. Sometimes, I read a book to other people. Sometimes, I explain to people how to read the book,” said Twilight. “I make a lot of money doing that. But it’s boring. It kills my mind. I’d been robbing banks for years prior to the original formation of the modern day Mythos crew, and it felt… It just felt so good. Nobody knew Twilight Sparkle, but everybody knows Medusa.”

“You robbed banks and kidnapped children,” said the prosecutor. “For recognition.” Twilight nodded, a small smirk spreading across her face.

“I took an apathetic world and gave them something to focus on. Nobody cares about a Royal Library worker, just like nobody cares about me.” Twilight laughed darkly. “Nobody cared about me until I put on the mask.”

The Las Pegasus Bank

“What do you see?”

“Five guards.”

“I see five ways to get arrested.”

“Is being cynical part of the job?”

“Welcome to Mythos, kid.”

I felt like a teacher during a tutoring lesson. To either side of me were my two newest students, Diamond on my right and Silver Spoon on my left. They were decked out in their masks, looking quite formidable. Echidna, the mother of all monsters, had half the face of a beautiful maiden, skin fair and eye bright blue and normal. The other half was of mottled, speckled, almost peeling greenish-black scales. The other eye was a solid orb of jaundiced yellow, with no pupil or iris to be seen. The mask had a permanent snarl, showing off the bloody teeth of a mortal on one side and the even bloodier fangs of a snake on the other.

Then we had Silver Spoon’s Typhon, the father of all monsters. Its face was leathery and tough, almost mangy or rabid. Its hair was tangled and wild, with several snakes weaved into it. The chin was belted with a mass of hair almost as wild as what was on its head.

“We’re not actually about to rob a jewelry store, are we?” asked Silver Spoon nervously. “This is insane. We’re about to rob a bank, and we’re starting with a jewelry store.”

I looked down at my laptop, displaying the video feed of the hidden camera that was hidden in the glasses I had given to Dash. She was posted just outside of the jewelry store, enjoying a cigarette while scouting the place out for me. Meanwhile, Spike was downstairs finalizing the main heist and setting up evac. So, in the process of prep for one heist, I was taking my rookies out on a second.

Say what you will about me, but you cannot deny my efficiency.

“This is a warm-up,” I said. I tapped the earpiece in my ear. “Apollo, what are you seeing?”

“Nothing weird. Seems like we can move in soon,” said Dash. “Want me to warm the crowd up for you? I make a killer opener.”

“Down, girl. We’re coming in a moment.”

“Medusa, I have a question,” said Diamond. “Why don’t you take off your mask in front of us?”

Since meeting my new crewmates, I had kept the Gorgon on my face, and I urged Spike and Dash to do the same. I wanted to play things close to the chest in a way that was impossible with Dash, considering the circumstances under which we met. If I had recruited Dash normally, she’d probably still be wondering what I looked like.

“Were I to answer that, what could you change with that information?” I asked.

“Probably nothing.”

“And would an answer tell you what I actually looked like?”

“No.” I could tell that she didn’t care for the way I spoke to her, but I didn’t care. She’d have to learn that I’m the boss, what I say goes.

“Then why don’t you stop dancing around the point and ask the question you really want answered?” I said. Silver Spoon glanced from me to her, not knowing who to support. She made the smart move and stood quiet.

“Can you take off your mask?” asked Diamond finally.

“Very good. There’s no point in beating around the bush in this industry,” I said. “The answer is no. Though, if you like, I’ll tell you my name.” She leaned in close. “My name is Midnight. There, not even Apollo knows that.”

“Not even Apollo knows what now?” Dash interjected.

“Don’t worry about it. Just give me one last camera pan and we can move in.” Dash did as she was told before folding her glasses and slipping them into her breast pocket. The feed cut out, and I gestured for the rookies to follow me out of the room.

“Ready for a warm up?” I asked with a smirk.

The heist went off without a hitch, as to be expected. Nobody was shot, nobody was caught, and we all made off with about twenty grand worth of jewelry. Dash and I let the newbies split it amongst themselves, upon Dash’s request. They were supposed to split it evenly, but I’m pretty sure Diamond talked her friend into agreeing for a 70/30 split in her favor. She was always on the clock, it seemed.

After the heist, I returned to the new safehouse to pass the time with a nap (I hadn’t slept in days) and a bite to eat (I hadn’t eaten since before even that). As I dug into my kale salad, I felt my burner phone vibrate. I silently answered it and put it to my ear.

“DT?” That sounded like Silver Spoon. The two had finally decided to practice using the burners. I didn’t tell them, but I had their phones bugged so that I could hear and record their calls, for the purpose of critiquing their conversations with one another. So far, so good.

“SS, it’s me. I just had an idea,” said Diamond. “I have an idea. I’ll call Daddy, and he can have someone bring us some fake bills.”

Oh dear.

“Um… What for?” asked Silver Spoon.

“We’re gonna fake it, duh!” My stomach clenched in on itself. Oh, she was about to make a mistake. A terrible, terrible mistake.

“F-fake it?” Silver Spoon was, appropriately, terrified. “What do you mean?”

“It’s simple. Medusa put us in charge of driving the money to the drop point, so if we can have fake bags there when we get there…”

“We give Medusa the fake cash and walk off with the real money?”

“Exactly! Oh, Silver Spoon, that’s ten million dollars for us to share! Do you know what we can do with ten million dollars?” Diamond Tiara laughed. “Daddy is going to be so proud! And Medusa will learn some respect, too. Win-win!”

“Diamond, I don’t know…” Silver Spoon sighed. “What if Medusa comes back for us?”

“What’s that old hag going to do?”

I was mildly annoyed before, when the little brat started conspiring to steal ten million bucks from me. Now, I was furious.

“What would you do if I stole ten million from you?” asked Silver Spoon. Diamond Tiara didn’t even hesitate.

“I’d hang you from a ceiling fan,” said Diamond Tiara. “I can copy your handwriting well enough, I’d make it look like a suicide.”

“Don’t you think Medusa has plans for us if we cross her?”

“She’ll never know until it’s too late! By the time we’re gone, the police will be all over her safehouse, she’ll be locked up, and we’ll be ten million dollars richer! I’m calling Daddy now, be ready to move when I say.” The line disconnected, leaving me alone with the silence of the safehouse. I listened to the conversation again, trying to calm my breathing.

It wasn’t working.

“Medusa!” I heard Spike’s steps up the stairs and willed myself to calm myself before he came in. I managed to stop my angry huffs before he slid into the room. “Everything’s ready. I’m waiting on you.”

I glanced down at the burner, then slipped it into my pocket.

“Alright. Call the girls,” I said. “Let’s go.”

I stood in line with a backpack slung over my shoulder, tapping my foot impatiently. Nobody had any reason to notice me, and I intended to keep it that way. Somewhere behind me was Dash, who would be leaving the line shortly to mask up. Spike was in the van, prepared to rush in upon the commencement of the heist. Silver Spoon sat a bit back, also prepared to mask up and move in. Now, we just needed to wait for Judas.

The bank, while large, was simple in layout. To the either side of the entrance were tellers, and stairs leading upstairs where some more sticky bank work took place. Directly ahead was the vault which was situated next to the manager’s office. Two guards stood sentry outside of the vault, with one more patrolling the floor. At least one of us had an eye on him at any given time, so he wouldn’t be sneaking up on us. Soon, he’d be napping, anyway.

She came in wearing the suit I gave her. I know it was part of the plan, but the fact that she was wearing the suit I gave her really got under my skin. She was planning to rob me wearing my uniform. She strolled past me, locking eyes with me for a moment before getting in position a little ahead of me. Dash was behind me, Silver Spoon was off a bit to the right, Spike was outside, and Diamond Tiara was within grabbing range.

Time to act.

I dropped my bag, dug out my mask, and quickly pulled it on. Just according to plan, Diamond stepped closer, allowing me to wrap my arm around her neck and press a handgun against her temple.

I could’ve done it. I could’ve solved that problem right there. One quick squeeze of the finger, and the traitorous little brat would be dealt with.

“Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please!” I called. Diamond screamed, definitely attracting any attention I didn’t already. Silver Spoon and Dash donned their masks and rushed forward to subdue the vault guards with their stun guns. The last guard drew a handgun and leveled it at my forehead. I wrenched Diamond in front of me, keeping her in front of my face as much as possible.

“Drop the girl, or I will shoot!” he shouted.

“Sir, I would suggest that you aim carefully,” I said. “I painted the mask red once, and it doesn’t look great.”

“P-please…” whimpered Diamond. “She’s going to kill me!”

The guard hesitated, which was a mistake. While he was busy having his internal moral dilemma, Spike had walked in with his taser. A few moments later, and our brave hero was twitching on the ground.

“We’ve disabled your silent alarms, so don’t expect any help anytime soon,” said Spike to a bank teller. “And unless you want a dead girl on your hands…”

“You’ll open up the vault,” I finished. “And could you make it quick? We’re rather pressed for time.” The teller quickly disabled the electronic lock and personally ran to pull the door open for me.

“Hydra, crowd control,” I commanded. “Apollo, Typhon, you see someone move, you put a bullet in their ankle.” I pressed my gun more firmly against Diamond’s head. “And you, little lady, are coming with me.” I dragged Diamond away down the hall to the vault. Dash dropped off a bunch of duffel bags outside of the vault before returning to keep the civilians in place.

“Gah, loosen up,” whispered Diamond. “You’re choking me.” I tightened my hold on her as I pulled her into the vault. For the time being, I ignored the safety deposit boxes and the large stacks of bills sitting on a table in the middle of the room. Right then, my focus was Diamond Tiara.

“Alright, let’s bag this up,” she said, having just enough air to speak.

One squeeze of the finger…

“You know what your problem is?” I asked. “People have called you clever for so long that you no longer feel the need to actually use any of that intellect of yours.” I could feel her tense slightly. “That was a sloppy move, Ms. Tiara. I explicitly told you not to discuss work details over the phone, because someone could be listening. Like me.”

She immediately started to struggle, which only made me tighten my already vise-like grip.

“Medusa, wait, hear me out!” gasped Diamond.

“No! You made a mistake, little girl. You tried to con the conman,” I growled. “And it blew up in your face. It’s all over for you now.”

“Are… Are you going to kill me?” She was losing consciousness, as to be expected. They don’t call it a sleeper hold for nothing.

“No. I’m going to do something worse,” I said. I lowered more weight down onto her head and neck, eventually dropping her limp, unconscious body to the ground. I dragged her over to a corner and bound her wrists with a zip-tie. Then, I went about bagging up the cash. In about ten minutes, I had all ten million bucks (and then some) in duffel bags. I started tossing the bags into the lobby, slinging the last one over my shoulder. I was about to leave when I had a thought. I took my burner out of my pocket, queued up the recording of the conversation, and slipped it into Diamond’s breast pocket.

I walked out into the lobby, where Spike, Silver Spoon and Dash were moving the cash out and into the van. I quietly crossed the lobby, dropping my bag in front of the door. Spike was clearly concerned, but he said nothing. He just kept moving money out, knowing that I would explain it eventually.

“Medusa?” said Silver Spoon. “Where’s DT?” I walked over to her, pulled her taser from her waist, and stuck it to her side. She twitched and sputtered before collapsing to the ground. I rolled her onto her stomach and bound her wrists with another zip-tie.

“What the fuck, boss?!” shouted Dash.

“Shut up and get in the van,” I said. “We’ll talk about it when we get home.”

Dash didn’t have much room to argue, considering I had her cut in the car. I looked down at Silver Spoon for a moment before turning around and leaving them both behind.

“I could have killed her, you know.”

“I am aware, Ms. Sparkle.”

“I could have killed her really easily, though. But I didn’t. That has to count for something.”

“Ms. Sparkle, not killing someone you could have does not make you a good person.”

Twilight laughed, because she didn’t expect her statement to be interpreted like that. She never pretended to be a good person. Twilight never thought of herself in that way. In Twilight’s world, good people were a rarity.

“Oh, no, I’m not saying that at all,” laughed Twilight. “I just wanted to point out that I’m not evil. You see me as evil, and that’s not fair.”

“What else should we call someone who assaults children?” asked the prosecutor.

“All I know is that I’ve been searching for evil since I was born,” said Twilight. “Fifty years later, I still haven’t found it.”

“Perhaps you will soon. Please, continue with your story.” Twilight sighed, rubbing her temples tiredly.

“I want to preface this part of the story by saying I really had no choice,” said Twilight. “With Shining Armor constantly pursuing us, I needed all the help I could get. Even and especially Dash’s. So I had to make some… ethical compromises… For the benefit of myself, Spike, and her.”

“What sort of compromises?”

“There’s a very fine line between evil and what I do” Twilight buried her face in her palms. “What I did next was dancing on that line, at best.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I really had no other choice. You have to understand that. I wouldn’t have gotten family involved if I had another choice.”

Author's Note

I worked on this entire chapter whilst looping this video a few times.

Yes, I listened to the whole thing, multiple times. I regret nothing.

Trouble In Paradise

“Damn it, Spike! This is exactly why I wanted to deal with him earlier!”

“Hey, he wasn’t a problem—”

“But he is now, and we could’ve solved the problem before it was a problem. And now, between Shining and Dash, the problems are just piling up!”

“He wasn’t a problem until Diamond got arrested. That makes two decisions made without consulting me that blew up in your face.”

Spike was right. I should’ve run everything by him first. I see that now. But then, in the laundromat, I was furious that he was attempting to make the situation my fault. He was questioning my leadership, and it was infuriating me to no end. I was the boss, and he was supposed to answer with “yes, ma’am, right away”. He worked for me.

Except I wasn’t, he wasn’t, and he didn’t. Again, I was too angry to acknowledge how stupid I was being.

“So now I have to ask you permission?” I scoffed. “I need your supervision to run my own Crew?”

“Twilight Sparkle, I’m one of three people in Equestria who will put up with you,” said Spike. “I am one of three people who don’t find you totally, 100% bat-shit insane. Despite what we might put on our taxes, you’re not my boss. You’re my partner. So you’re goddamn right you have to ask me permission to recruit two brand new members to the Crew!”

“I can hire whoever I damn well please, thank you!”

“Twilight, you’re being hardheaded. I’m—”

“Stubborn,” I interrupted. Spike squinted slightly at me. “Stubborn, not hardheaded.”

“Right. Well, you’re being hardheaded.” Spike put extra emphasis on the word. “I’m not saying you can’t hire new members. What I’m saying is that you have to vet them! You saw two girls that did something vaguely impressive and BAM! You want to give them masks!” I began pacing around the War Map, barely resisting the urge to rip my hair out.

“So you’re mad at me for hiring them,” I said, just to make sure I had everything straight. “And you’re also mad at me for firing them?” Spike pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Again, not what I’m saying!” He hissed slightly on the “s” sound. A good measure of Spike’s anger is how thick his Draconic accent was. Hissing on an “s” was about as bad as I’ve seen in years. “Why did you leave them at the bank?!”

“What? You wanted me to let them walk off with ten million dollars?” I asked. “Money that they’d use to have us arrested and thrown right next to Lyra and Moonie?”

“I hate it when you do that. You think that just hearing their names will make me break down,” snarled Spike. “It’s been years, Twilight. I’ve moved on, surprisingly. And keeping us out of prison was your goal?” He laughed. “Do you see the irony?”

“What would you have had me do?”

“Literally anything but what you did! You could’ve reassigned her. One sentence from you, and she’s riding with me back to the safehouse,” said Spike, counting on his fingers. “You could’ve tasered her in the car and drove off. You could’ve called her out and tell her that next time she tried some slick shit, she was done. You could’ve killed her—”

When arguing with me, it is important that your you phrase your retorts carefully, and always finish sentences. I had a tendency to interrupt people less intelligent/interesting/important than myself when I’ve decided that they were speaking for too long. Spike should’ve known better. When I went to cut him off, he should’ve kept talking.

“So you wanted me to murder children?” I asked. “Does Hell have a basement? Cause that’s where you want me to go. Honestly, Spike! They’re sixteen, and you wanted me to kill them! How awful do you think I am?!”

Unfortunately, Spike knew me quite well, and could read my bluff.

“Don’t try that holier-than-thou shit, Twi, cause I know you’re full of it!” Spike slammed his fist down on the table. “The only reason that you didn’t kill Diamond is because you think that this is a worse punishment! Don’t try to make me out to be evil because I can see into your fucked up head!”

An uncomfortable silence blanketed the room. I could tell that Spike regretted his statement, but that didn’t mean he was about to take it back. Just because he didn’t intend to say it out loud didn’t change the fact that he believed it.

“Let’s… Let’s just focus on the main issue here,” sighed Spike tiredly. “Shining has one of the safehouses. Do you think you left any prints?” I raised my hands to show off the purple latex gloves that I almost always wore.

“Never,” I said.

“And dragons don’t have fingerprints, so I’m good. Dash, on the other hand… Shining will find her in a snap.” Spike tapped his claw against the Map. “There were burners there that might have call records associated with them. He could, at the very least, find out who we were talking to and when. If he were to nab an associate, it’s over for us.”

“We need to get out in front of this,” I said. Then, I shook my head. “No. We need to bring Dash back.”

“We can’t force her back. She did her job, made her money, and resigned. We can’t just bring her back against her will.” Spike flitted out his tongue, deep in thought. “She couldn’t have left at a worse time, though…”

“I’m going to call her,” I said. Before Spike could stop me, I pulled out my scarcely used personal cell phone and dialed Dash’s number. It rang a few times, then the line connected.

“Yo. Who’s this?”

“Ms. Dash,” I said. “We’re missing you over at the office.”

“Heh. Well, I’ll be swinging by later to get my severance package, so you’ll see me again,” said Dash. “And, look, it’s nothing personal. I’m just… I’m done with that part of my life.”

“Of course. And I couldn’t convince you to stay?”

“Nope. Sorry, boss. I’m actually skipping town soon. Me and Squirt, we’re heading up to Manehattan. You’ll be fine without me.”

“I don’t know, Dash. You’re a valuable asset to the team.”

“No offense, Twi, but you can miss me with that bullshit. Nothing you say can bring me back. I’m gone.” She seemed very certain of that. “In a week, I’m outtie. Bounced. Peeled. 86’d. I'm on my way to pick up my check, and then that's it. I'm telling you, you'll be perfectly fine without me.”

“Oh well,” I sighed. “Well, see you when you get here. Maybe we can go out for a drink before you leave?”

“I never say no to free booze. See ya, boss.”

I closed my phone, preparing to punch through the wall when I received another call, on my burner. I angrily flipped it open and put it to me ear.

“Canterlot Postal Office,” I snarled.

“Wow. Did Medusa have a bad day?” It was my hitman friend, Silver Rift, and he sounded very pleased with the situation. “Is this a bad time? I sense some strife in your voice.”

“How's your arm, little boy?” I asked rhetorically. I walked off to a quiet corner of the room. “What do you want, Rift? I'm busy.”

“Busy dealing with Shining Armor of the FBI?” he asked. “I could help you out with that if you like. I'm looking at the good captain right now. A mil and a half and I can send him on his merry way right now.”

“If you hurt him, I swear to God, I will end you,” I hissed. “Do not even think about it. Understand me?”

“Geez, fine! Look, I wanna help you, but if you don't want me to deal with him… Look, I may have a way out, but it's not gonna be easy.”

I heard the door open and Dash walk in. She had a small, kind of tired grin on her face. I waved, pointed at my phone, and held up a finger.

“Make it quick,” I said quietly. “I told you, I'm busy.”

“Okay, you know how I have that travel agency job? Well, my next client is the head of a… Let’s call it an assemblage of like-minded, tightly-knit, fiercely competitive businessmen.” A syndicate of some sort. “Now, I was supposed to set him up on a luxury, all-expenses paid vacation to the north. Before I do that, he might be some use to you.”

“I'm listening.”

“There are three locations that need some… simultaneous remodeling. But he wants the place cleared out first. I can set up a meeting, and I'm confident that he'll be perfectly happy with dealing with your situation if you help him with his. I can call him right now, if you want.”

He wanted me to rob and demolish three separate buildings, all at the same time. Not the most impossible thing I'd ever done, but without Dash… I needed to bring her back somehow.

“I'll run it by the team. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I'll call you back,” I said. I closed my phone and slipped it into my pocket.

“Sup,” said Dash.

“Rainbow, we're going to miss you,” I said. Spike nodded in agreement.

“When Twi told me who she planned to hire, I wasn't thrilled,” said Spike. “But you made us a lot of money, even if you weren't here for long.”

“Yeah, well, it was fun while it lasted,” said Dash with a shrug.

“I know you said you're done, but how about one more job?” I said. “One last hurrah before you give back the mask and settle down.”

“I told you, Twi, I'm done. I have all the money I could ever need. I just want my check.”

Why was she so damn stubborn? Couldn’t she see that I needed her?

“C’mon, at least listen to the job.” She didn't protest, so I went straight into it. “A gang leader wants us to rob and destroy three buildings at the same time. We can’t do it without you. Plus, this is the one time we'd be able to kick the door in and rush it. How could you pass on the only loud job we get?”

“Sorry, Twi. I'm done,” said Dash firmly. “Now, at the risk of sounding like a broken record, can I please have my money?”

“That’s really disappointing,” I sighed. “It’s a shame, really. Such a waste. Now, you know too much. Now, we have to kill you.” Dash froze, preparing to run for the door. “Kidding, kidding. Spike, get the girl her cash.”

As she nervously laughed, I turned away, trying to figure out how to convince Dash to help me out. I walked over to the couch and took a seat, racking my brain. My duffel bag was to my right, and it held my mask. The Gorgon always helped me think, so I pulled it out to hold in my hands. As I took the mask, my hand nudged something else in the bag, which should have been empty. I spread open the bag, and looked down at the framed photo within.

Instantly, I had an idea. I pulled out my burner and sent Silver a text message.

We're in. But first, I need to ask you a favor.

“A favor? What sort of favor?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you are very, very rude?”

“I beg your pardon?”

Twilight was officially annoyed. The prosecutor was getting under her skin, no doubt in an attempt to get her to confess everything. What he didn't realize is that Twilight was done with her deception and concealment. To her, this wasn’t a trial. It was a highlight reel.

“There are few things more rude than interrupting a story, especially one as exciting and interesting as mine,” said Twilight. “If you were to shut up and let me speak, I may be able to answer your questions.”

“All I want is to do is make sure I understand the situation as best as I can. But, please, do go on.”

“I'm telling my story this way for a very particular reason. I am building up suspense, details, everything you need in order to experience these events that you couldn't otherwise,” said Twilight. “You’ve already decided my fate. I may as well be dramatic with the story.”

“Very well, Ms. Sparkle. Now, the favor?”

“I didn’t have any choice. My hands were tied,” sighed Twilight. “This was the only way out. We had to do the job, and we needed Dash’s help to do it.”

“And how did you convince her to rejoin your crew?” asked the prosecutor. Twilight smiled darkly, laughing almost uncomfortably.

“I gave her a bit of motivation, is all.”

One Last Job

“Are we really gonna do this without her?”

“We don’t have much choice. I’ll just have to figure something out.”

“I know we’re good, but nobody is good enough to rob three buildings with two people.”

“Well, we’re here now. We need to at least talk to the guy.”

I didn’t tell Spike what I intended to do. It was better that way. He’d be annoyed, but he would learn to live with it, like he has all those times before. For now, we needed to focus on the job. Silver had set up the meeting, and now all Spike and I had to do was talk to the guy, get details on the job, and do it. That’s what Spike thought. What I actually had to do required a bit of theatrics.

Spike parked the van around the corner from our destination, and we masked up. We left duffel bags and big guns in the van, but I had my revolver in a holster hidden beneath my suit jacket. If I had to use it, I wouldn’t be walking out unscathed. I just had to hope that didn’t happen.

Spike and I rounded the corner and headed for the first of three apparently abandoned apartment buildings. We entered, passing by two goons guarding the door. Our guy was expecting us, obviously, so his henchmen didn’t hassle us much. We scaled the stairs, all the way up to the thirteenth floor. Spike stopped me just outside of the room we needed to enter, placing a hand gently on my shoulder.

“Medusa, I just wanted to say sorry for what happened between us,” said Spike. “I want you to know that I only went off like that because I’m worried about you. I’ve never seen you get this wild and crazy.”

“Now is not the time to have this conversation,” I said quietly. “But no problem. If I had to be put in my place by anyone, I’d prefer it be you. Now, let’s do this job and reconcile later. We still need to have a drink with Dash.”

I pushed open the door and stepped into a room I could only describe as an office. The wallpaper was peeling in places, and the entire room smelled of gunpowder and marijuana. Directly ahead of me was a guy who vaguely resembled Silver, albeit with a bluish tint to his hair instead of the straight ivory. Also, Silver wasn’t typically seen doing a line of cocaine off of his office desk.

“You alright, or do you need us to come back?” I asked. “You seem busy.”

“Ooh, fuck. Medusa, how are you?” he said, shaking himself firmly. “I’m Thunderlane, and I don’t believe in pussyfooting, so let’s cut to the chase. I need you to clean out those three addresses and burn them to the ground. Don’t fucking ask why.”

“Fair enough. Now, I know that is the job that was offered,” I said. “However… Our team has recently undergone some changes. As of right now, we’re a hair understaffed. I don’t suppose you would accept an IOU?”

Thunderlane jumped up, knocking his chair over as he drew his handgun and aimed it at my head. Spike quickly raised his mask most of the way up his face and surely would’ve burned our potential employer to death if I didn’t hold my hand over his mouth.

“You’re gonna do what I asked, and then I’m going to get the cops off of your trail,” said Thunderlane. “No discussion.”

“I think we should all calm down,” I said. If things went bad here, now, I would really be SOL. “What I meant by that is, as it stands, I can’t do that job exactly as you wanted. I can rob the three houses in the same day, sure. But at the exact same time? Not without my partner.” Thunderlane dropped down onto his chair, tapping his gun against the side of his head. This was clearly more than he originally anticipated.

“Then get her back,” he said flatly.

“Not so simple,” said Spike. He slowly lowered his mask down over his mouth. “Our associate is out of the game for good.”

“I couldn’t get Dash back if I tried,” I said. “Let’s talk about your end of the deal. How exactly would you get the cops off of our ass?”

“I have boys and girls willing to take your place in the box,” explained Thunderlane, pulling his chair back up and depositing himself there. “You do what I need, I have a mare and a dragon who will admit to being Medusa and Hydra. They get their Hazard Pay, and the cops think they caught you already. But I can’t do that if you don’t handle these houses.”

I sighed tiredly. This was the most elaborate performance I’d put on in quite a while.

“Like I said, I’m not the problem. Dash is the problem.” I glanced toward Spike, trying to read him through his mask. “How long do we have before your offer is no longer valid?”

“Tomorrow.”

“I’ll get her back,” I promised. Spike tried not to seem surprised, but I could feel him tense up to my right. That was a bold promise I just made, and it wouldn’t be good if I didn’t fulfill it. Luckily, I already had the parts in motion for that.

“Let’s go, Hydra. We have a lot of work to do,” I said.

“Mate,” I said, depositing my queen in her square. Spike flitted out his tongue, clearly deep in thought.

“Maybe we could do some quick recruiting, like what you did with Tiara,” suggested Spike. I shook my head.

“Too risky. There’s no time to train them. How about The Road?”

I spoke, of course, of The Silk Road, a part of the deep web that is equally horrific and useful. It was a way for thieves, murderers, rapists, and drug dealers to conduct their business easily and with little risk. Spike used it to fence some stolen goods, and, if we didn’t have Silver on the payroll and we needed someone of his skillset, The Silk Road would be the first place we checked.

“Nah. There’s no one doing that sort of work right now,” Spike sighed. “What if we have Silver kill the guy, then we walk in and take the gang for ourselves?”

“Hostile takeover isn’t the absolute worst idea you’ve had,” I admitted. “But how do we get them to listen to us?”

“Alright, I’ll just put that in the ‘maybe’ pile.”

We could hear the door swing open, and we hardly had time to draw our weapons before the dryer slammed out of place. Spike was about to shoot, only barely lowering his gun in time when he realized who had kicked open our door.

She didn’t look good. Dash trembled slightly, her fists clenched and her eyes burning red. She sniffled, saying nothing at all. Before I could ask, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a photo. I took it from her, noting the bloodstain on the corner. The photo was of that sister of her’s, Scootaloo, and it was torn slightly from when it was yanked from its frame. I turned it over to see a message scribbled in crude, scratchy handwriting.

Duty calls, Rainbow Dash.

“Dash… What is this?” I asked. Dash locked eyes with me, which let me notice the cocaine on her nose for the first time.

“I’m in,” she said.

“You guys there yet?” I asked.

“Pulling up now,” said Spike. “Apollo was on my tail a few minutes ago, but I don’t see her now.”

“Apollo. Focus.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m pulling up now,” said Dash finally. “I had to stop to take a bump.”

“I don’t think driving while high is a good idea,” I noted.

“I don’t think I give a fuck.”

There’s not much I could say to that, so I just kept my mouth shut and drove. The house I was tasked with was the furthest, and the most heavily loaded, so I took the longest to clean out and demolish. Still, I was only a few minutes behind, and that gave me time to think.

Thunderlane wanted these houses gone for profit. They belonged to an opposing gang, and he wanted to eliminate them by destroying their Headquarters. More importantly, he wanted to show that he was not to be trifled with. He wanted his competitors to understand that, at the snap of his fingers, he could rip apart their carefully constructed empire. A good way to beat a man is to crush his body. A better way is to crush his mind. The best way is to crush their soul. In a way, Thunderlane accomplished all three.

I pulled up to the apartments, parking my van in between Spike and Dash’s. They had situated their vehicles in the parking lot between the three buildings, where Thunderlane and a dozen goons waited. I killed the engine, hopped to the back and collected my three filled duffel bags, then hopped out of my van. My shotgun bounced against my hip (I needed it to bust down the hinges of the house’s door), which made certain thugs uncomfortable. What they didn’t realize is that I was the least of their worries.

Dash was angry. She felt guilty. She had very little to lose. She was high. This was the shopping list for a disaster. Frankly, I was proud of her for not going off. She just stood outside of her van, duffel bags over her shoulders.

“Mr. Lane,” I said. I tossed my bags forward. “Your product, as promised. I can’t speak for the others, but I managed to secure some cash and narcotics. Several thousand dollars of it.”

“Same here,” said Spike. “And a bit of ice, too. If you don’t have the means, I can push it for you.”

“Thanks, but I can manage,” said Thunderlane. “You’re awful quiet, Dash. Got nothing to say?”

Oh no.

“Fuck you,” said Dash quietly. “Give her back.”

“Sorry? I don’t like your tone.”

“I said give her back. Don’t fuck with me. Just give her back.”

“Dash…” I said quietly. Thunderlane chuckled, stepping forward with a grin on his face.

“Look, maybe I’m too out my head to remember, but I don’t think I took anyone,” said Thunderlane. “But, if I did, I wouldn’t give her back to someone with a mouth like yours. Maybe if you ask nicely, I’ll remember.”

I grabbed Dash by the wrist firmly. I slowly moved her arm up and pulled the handgun out of her hand. We locked eyes, and I could tell that the drugs were beating out her logic and reason.

“I need you to calm down, Dash,” I whispered. “Let it go. Go back to the van and wait. Hydra and I will clean this up.” Dash yanked her arm out of my grasp, then slowly started walking back to the van.

“Forgive her,” I said. “The situation is making her uneasy.”

“Oh, she’ll get over it soon,” said Thunderlane with a chuckle.

I hardly felt the jerk on my hip, but I felt the recoil of my shotgun going off. Thunderlane dropped to the ground, swearing in pain. Time froze for about an eighth of a second.

Then, everything sped up to compensate.

“Move!” I dragged Dash out of the way of incoming fire and behind the van. Spike ran behind the other vehicle, then drew his handgun and fired blindly.

“For fuck’s sake, Dash!” shouted Spike. I shoved her gun back into her hand, then cocked my shotgun. I had two more shots, and I needed to make the most of it.

“Shoot to kill,” I said. I rushed forward and hugged the side of the van. Spike managed to off two guys in the interim, leaving ten guys, only a few of them with guns. I fired twice, dropping them to the ground to be dealt with later.

This was a bad situation.

“Spike, I need a gun!” I called. As quickly as he could, he reached into his bag and tossed me an SMG, a Mini Uzi with a supressor. Something he just had laying around, I suppose. I didn’t mind it, because it had bullets.

“Dash, get the lead out of your fucking boots!” yelled Spike. Dash shook her head firmly, then rounded the right side of the van and fired. I didn’t see what happened, because I was too busy picking off thugs.

It had been many years since my last firefight. I never made fighting a part of my general routine, but I was decently versed in gunplay. Still, I wasn’t prepared for this fight, and the worst place I could be is in a tough spot with no plan. All I could think about is how many thugs were left versus how many bullets I had in my gun. At some point, I remembered my revolver, which I drew to aid with the clean up. The thugs barely stood a chance.

“Spike, get her out of here,” I ordered, finishing off the last enemy. “Take her to the safehouse and don’t let her leave for anything.”

“I’m not going anywhere without my sister!” shouted Dash. Spike slinked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her neck and head, putting as much pressure down as he could. When she was unconscious, I lifted her and helped Spike move her to the back of the van.

“I’ll catch up,” I said. “I gotta clean up here, and look for the girl.” Spike nodded, then slipped into the van. As he pulled off, I looked out at the carnage. 13 corpses, 13 men unnecessarily dead. It was a mess.

“F-fuck!”

Well, 12 corpses, I suppose.

“You’re still kicking, hm?” I said. Thunderlane turned on his stomach and crawled forward for a discarded handgun. It was nothing for me to kick it out of the way before he got to it.

“We’ll kill you…” he groaned. “You’re a dead mare walking.”

“I agree. But, for now, I’d like to apologize,” I said. “I didn’t intend for any of this to happen. This was a… A miscalculation.”

“The girl… I swear, the girl Dash was talking about… It wasn’t me…”

“I know. It was me,” I said. I pulled my mask off to wipe the sweat from my brow. “This was a mistake.”

I grabbed my revolver a bit tighter, trying to figure out what to do next. Even though I didn’t want to, I knew exactly what my next step had to be.

“I have to kill you now, understand?” I said. I slipped my mask back down onto my face. “Close your eyes.”

“Fuck you,” spat Thunderlane. I sighed.

“Suit yourself. I’m going to count backwards from five, and then I’m going to pull the trigger,” I said. I levelled my gun at his forehead. “5."

"4.”

I pulled the trigger, then stepped over corpse number 13. I pulled out my burner, checking a text from Silver.

Third building, 7th floor, last room.

I followed the directions, entering the building furthest from me. The lobby was littered with fresh corpses, but not from me. These guys died before Dash fired my shotgun. I scooped a handgun from the floor and fired it through the open door four times; Once for each body. I marched up the stairs, firing a bullet every time I saw a new body. The girl most likely wouldn’t be coherent enough to recall how many shots I fired in relation to how many bodies there were, but better safe than sorry.

I climbed the stairs all the way to the seventh floor, and down the hall to the last door. It swung open from the inside, and Silver silently walked out of the room. We passed each other, and I entered the mostly empty room. All that was in the room was the girl, drugged and passed out in the middle of the floor. With a tired sigh, I hefted her over my shoulder and headed back down to the van.

Author's Note

You guessed it right, Villain In Glasses. Well met.

Cooling Off

“Who are you?”

“A friend.”

“I don’t have any of those.”

“Your sister would disagree.”

I was not happy with the situation. If Dash only knew what she was doing… She still probably would’ve done something to jeopardize the job, frankly. She was directly responsible for thirteen deaths, and now we were no better off. Although, to be fair, it could be argued that I was the one responsible for those men dying. My only rebuttal to that is—until Dash got huffy—I had everything under control. Thunderlane would pay us, set up the scapegoats, and I’d send the crew back home while I “interrogate” our employer. Then, I would’ve had Rift drop the girl off at a building some place nearby. From there, I would’ve called Dash and had her come “discover” the girl, completely safe. In that scenario, everyone wins.

But things didn’t go according to plan. Not this time.

“I don’t have a sister,” said Scootaloo stubbornly. She squirmed quietly in the back of the van, obviously searching for some form of escape. Even though I assured her that I meant her no harm, she was determined to bust out and make her daring escape.

“Don’t let Dash hear you say that,” I said flatly. “She’d be crushed.” She did not react in the way that I expected. Apparently, I was on a losing streak of some sort.

“Don’t you fucking talk about Rainbow!” She kicked and thrashed violently, so much so that it seemed that she was trying to attack me. “What did you do to her?! If you hurt her, I’m gonna kill you!”

“Dirty mouth, hot head, and serious loyalty. I wonder where you get that,” I said dryly. I stopped the van outside of the laundromat. “Listen, kid, this is our stop. I'm going to cut those cable ties on your wrists and ankles. If you want to see Rainbow, alive and unharmed, I would suggest that you follow me into the laundromat.” I pulled a pair of scissors from my breast pocket (always prepared), then hopped to the back and freed my captive.

As soon as she was free, she punched me directly in the eye. And it hurt. A lot.

“Alright, ya little twerp,” I snarled, leaping onto the thrashing, fighting, deceptively strong teen. After a bit of struggling, I secured her in a headlock. “If I wanted to hurt you, I'd have done it while you were drugged!” I tightened my hold. “If I wanted to hurt you, I could snap your neck right now!” She sputtered, gasping for breath, which I took as my cue to let her loose. She tumbled onto the floor, choking breath back into her lungs.

“Why did you kidnap me?” She huffed. I rolled my eyes.

“I didn’t. I'm the rescue team, kid,” I said. “Now let's go, if you don't mind.”

I grabbed my duffel bag and slid open the door, gesturing for Scootaloo to exit. I followed her out and shepherded her into the laundromat, directing her towards the dryer. I pulled my key from my pocket, unlocked the machine, and threw it onto its side. Scootaloo watched in wonder for just a moment before I nudged her and got her going down the ladder.

“What is this place?” she asked quietly. I ignored her and remained silent until we reached the end of the hallway and pushed open the door to the Planning Room.

“You’re not telling me anything,” groaned Dash. She had taken my spot on the couch and was playing chess with Spike (poorly, I might add).

“Twilight is dealing with things,” promised Spike. “That's all you need to worry about, is that Twi is dealing with it.”

“Twi dealt with it,” I said. “Past tense.” They both spun to face me, relief on Spike’s face and pure joy on Dash’s.

“Squirt!” Dash hopped out of her seat, ran, and scooped the girl up. “For fuck’s sake, I didn't know if I'd see you again! Are you okay? Did they hurt you? What happened? Fuck, I'm so glad you're alright, I—”

“I'm fine, Rainbow, I'm fine!” laughed Scootaloo. “Forget about me, what about you? Is this where you go when you say you’re at work?” She looked around to the War Map, the computers, and the phone lines. “This is way cooler.”

“Hey, it’s still work,” said Dash with a grin. “But, yeah, it is kinda badass, isn’t it? I’ll tell you about it, we—”

“Twenty,” I said. Dash seemed to only then realize I was also in the room. She, as well as Spike and the girl, looked at me in a stunned silence for a moment.

“Uh…” Dash scratched her head awkwardly. “What?”

“Oh, nothing.” I crossed the room and took my seat back, resetting the table angrily. “I’m just calling it out. You know, for those keeping score at home.” I moved my pawn forward. “That’s how many men are dead because of you, Ms. Dash.”

“Look, I—”

“Shut the hell up, please and thanks,” I said. “I’m not done. More so than that, you forced me to kill a gang leader, a well-established gang leader. That’s a big no-no in business. I’m a dead mare walking because of you! What do you have to say to that? Now that I have a whole syndicate gunning for me?”

“I… I wasn’t thinking,” she said, almost breathlessly. “I didn’t know they’d go for you, I figured they’d be on me.”

“That’s not how these things work,” said Spike, responding to my move on the board. “You thought the business was dangerous? Well, the politics are killer. Whether you intended to or not, you just declared war in Mythos’ name.”

“And now, I have to clean up your mess,” I said. I zipped open my duffel bag. “You owe me a lot, Dash. You owe me money, the cost to clean the bodies. You owe me a way to deal with Shining, without killing him. You owe me an apology.”

“Boss, I’m—”

“But you know what you owe me the most?” I asked. She froze, too stunned and terrified to react. I reached into my bag and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. “You owe me a drink.”

“So, how’d you guys meet?” asked Scootaloo. I chuckled, draining off my drink. Even though it wasn’t that long ago, I truly cherished the memory.

“Friday afternoon, around 5 PM, near the bank or an ATM,” I said. “That’s the best time and place, in my experience, to pick pockets. And, this particular Friday at 5, I was preparing to do just that, when out of the corner of my eye, I see this thug who thinks she’s being sneaky.” Rainbow laughed nervously. She was still embarrassed.

“Right, and I see her jacket. It’s a nice coat, and we were in a nice part of the city, so I figure she has some dough,” said Dash. “I start to follow her, when she goes down this alley to smoke. I’m thinking it’s an easy mark, right? So I pull my toast and I’m like ‘run it, bitch’, and she looks me dead in the eyes, calm as can fucking be, and she says…”

“Oh? Are you robbing me?” I supplied. As a group, the four of us laughed, especially the girl. Dash had given her some of the whiskey, which initially made Spike and myself nervous. Then, we noticed that she was heavily diluting the drink when the girl wasn’t looking. Dash was strangely responsible, in a highly irresponsible way.

“So, I’m sitting there with my gun literally against her nose,” said Dash. “And all I can think to say is ‘Uh,duh’. And she just kinda shrugged, and she reaches into her pocket… and she gives me her wallet.”

“What?” asked Scootaloo. “She just gave you her wallet.” She turned to face me. “For real?” I smiled, nodding to confirm.

“But Dash made a mistake, and she got close to me when she grabbed the wallet,” I explained. “Which, of course, I knew she would.” This was where Dash and I tended to argue about the story.

“You did not!” Dash interjected, right on cue. “You got lucky, and I was stupid.”

“So you'd rather be stupid than admit that Twi saw you coming?” asked Spike.

“In any case, I pressed the wallet into Dash’s hand. As soon as she gripped it, I hit her in the throat,” I said, grinning. “Then I shot her with her own gun.”

“You shot at me, and only grazed me,” Dash reminded me.

“Again, just like I planned.”

“Bullshit!” This time, Dash was actually correct. I didn’t intend to hit her at all.

“After I wrapped her up, I picked her pocket, found out her name, and started teasing her,” I continued. “And that’s when I saw her ambition, her desire to learn. So, I took her under my wing. We trained her up, gave her the Gryphon, and she's been heisting with us ever since.”

“Wow! That’s so cool,” said Scootaloo. “So you guys rob banks?”

“Well, sometimes,” said Spike. “Actually, since Dash has joined the Crew, we’ve only hit one bank. And it didn’t go great.”

“Well, considering I walked out with north of three mil, I say it went pretty well,” said Dash. Scootaloo dropped her glass, no doubt shocked. “Don’t get too excited, Squirt, I don’t have any of it now. I gotta pay Twi back. But… Y’know, if she’ll have me, I’ll be able to make some more cash for us.” I rose from my seat and pulled a cigarette from my pocket. I stuck it in my mouth, crossed the room, and took a lighter from Dash’s pocket.

“Dash, you and the girl better lay low here for a while. I don’t want Thunderlane’s guys coming after you,” I said. “I’m gonna smoke and clear my head. When I get back, we need to talk about how we’re going to deal with this moving on.”

I left the room, strolled down the hall, and climbed up the ladder. I ended up in front of the laundromat, where I lit my cigarette and took a puff.

That could’ve been worse. Sure, I was up to my ears in trouble, but that was okay. I never really managed to learn how to avoid trouble, so I'd gotten quite good at surviving it. I was no further from Shining catching me than before, but I could live with that for now.

“If she finds out, she's going to kill you.”

I pretended that I didn't hear him, but Spike saw through it easily. He strolled to my right, pulled out a cigarette of his own, and began to smoke.

“And I don’t mean she's going to be pissed,” Spike continued. “I don’t mean she's going to quit, or she's going to fight you, or she's going to turn you in. If she finds out what you did, she's going to look you dead in the eyes and put a bullet in your brain.”

I tapped my cigarette, knocking ash down to my feet. I turned and locked eyes with Spike, prepared for the worst. To my surprise, he wasn’t angry. He was hurt.

“Then let's make sure she doesn't find out,” I said. Spike’s expression intensified slightly.

“Is that really how you think of me? You think you have to tell me that?” he asked. “We're a team, Twi. I'm always going to have your back, but you need to tell me everything. And I mean everything: the good, the bad, and the fucking horrific. I can't protect your secrets if you're keeping them from me, too.”

I said nothing, which Spike correctly interpreted as an apology. He was right, of course. I should've been more open with him. In fact, if he was in on my plan, the whole thing might’ve gone off without a hitch.

“How'd you know?” I asked, more to cover my bases than anything.

“You never used her name while we were talking. I could smell your guilt.” There was another short bout of silence. “Twi, can I give you some advice?”

“Go for it.”

“Tread carefully. You're expecting people to trust you when you don't trust them, and that’s dangerous.” Spike tossed his cigarette onto the ground. “You're making risky plays. These sorts of things always catch up with you. Only problem is that you don't realize you should be running.”

“You quoting yourself there?” I asked. He shook his head.

“The Nexus Dragon Anthology. It's a collection of myths and legends,” said Spike. “The myth that's from is about a chief god who deceives his fellow deities. The gods and goddesses who were willing to die for him ended up betraying him and sending him to hell.”

“If I didn’t know better, I'd say that sounded like a threat,” I said, raising an eyebrow. Spike turned back for the laundromat, gently punching me in the shoulder on his way.

“Good thing you know better,” he said. “I'll start putting together the next job. I have my eye on some Eastern artifacts. It'll be like the rifles, except we're cutting out some of the middleman.”

“Sounds good,” I said, even though I knew he was walking out of earshot. “Sounds good.”

Bad Guys

“You trying to tell me that we’re stealing samurai swords?”

“Uchigatana, shōtō, and a set of armor called Kozane dou dō gusoku.”

“But they’re samurai swords, right?”

“That is a very crude way of looking at it.”

“But they’re samurai swords.”

Dash was very resourceful, perhaps even bordering on clever. That didn’t stop her from being a complete idiot at the same time. It was an incredible phenomenon, one that I still had no explanation for. It was as fascinating as it was infuriating.

Dash and the girl were hanging out on the couch, Dash upside down with her feet where her head should be. Spike sat at one of the several computer desks, no doubt getting things in order for the heist. As for me, I sat on top of the War Map, tossing my mask from hand to hand. Three days had passed since the laundromat gained its additional tenants, and they were making themselves quite cozy. I shouldn’t really talk. I practically lived in the safe house myself, and I was the one forcing them to stay in the first place.

“Yes, Dash,” I sighed tiredly. “They’re samurai swords. And we’re stealing them, tonight.”

”Where are they?”

“Airplane hangar,” said Spike.

“The fuck are they doing there?” asked Scootaloo. “Shouldn’t they be in a museum or something?” Dash turned herself right-side up and flicked the girl as hard as she could on the forehead.

“Watch your fucking mouth,” said Dash. The irony was, apparently, lost on her. “But, yeah, the fuck are they doing there?”

“They were intended to fly to Vanhoover for a showing, then right back to the East. But, on the return trip, they had to stop here in Canterlot,” I explained. “Thanks to several complications.”

“Or Spike calling in a couple of favors,” said Spike. “However you wanna look at it.”

“This one is simple,” I said. “We walk in, we grab the artifacts, and we leave. The only catch is we have to do it silently. If we get caught…” I made a slicing motion at my throat. “There goes Mythos.”

“There gonna be a lot of security for this stuff?” asked Dash.

“The uchigatana was forged around two thousand years ago,” said Spike. “And it’s something of a national treasure. It’ll probably be very heavily guarded, which means the three of us need to be on our A-game.”

“Aight, cool.” Dash didn’t seem to be able to keep her hands still. “Hey, you guys mind if I smoke in here?” I rolled my eyes, giving her a slightly sarcastic thumbs-up.

She did not pull out a cigarette from her pocket.

“Uh… Dash?” Spike squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. “Uh… I think Twi assumed you meant a cigarette.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry,” said Dash, though it didn’t stop her from dropping those little white rocks into her pipe and sticking her lighter underneath. She took a deep pull and held it for several seconds before exhaling the literal poison she had just introduced to her body.

“Alright, Dash, I have to ask,” I said. “You sure you should be doing things like that in front of the kid? I mean, it’s none of my business, and I’m a literal criminal, so take what I say with a grain of salt, but… You sure this is a good idea?”

“WHOOO!” was the only response I got from Dash, followed immediately by her punching the sky and stomping her foot. The girl didn’t seem to react to her big sister’s little moment, which was a bit concerning.

“Fuck yeah!” shouted Dash. “What’d you say?”

“I think she was calling you out,” said Scootaloo. “For smoking crack in front of me.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, she’s cool, she’s cool,” said Dash, a massive grin on her face. “She already knows, if I catch her with drugs, I’m breaking her arm.”

“That’s a great threat and all, but she’s fifteen,” I said. “That’s a very impressionable age.”

“Not a threat. It’s a promise.”

“Not a promise. It’s history,” said Scootaloo. “She caught me smoking a blunt once, once, and then threw me off my scooter when I was heading down a hill. Broke my arm in three different places. Over one blunt.”

“Hey, one blunt is all it takes,” said Dash. “One blunt, you might end up like me.”

“But you’re fucking awesome!” Dash looked at her, then laughed for a bit. Then, she jabbed her in the throat. Not hard enough to do any more than stop her talking.

“Yeah, I am awesome. But you can be more than that,” said Dash. “And watch your fucking mouth!”

I looked at Spike and sighed. These two had a relationship stranger than our own, and that’s saying something.

“Alright, let’s get down to business,” said Spike, clapping his hands together. “We have thirteen-ish hours before we need to be at the hangar, and I want to go over the plan. Ladies and ladies? Let’s make some dough.”

I should’ve turned around as soon as I saw the open hangar.

The doors should’ve been closed. Dash and I were supposed to slip in through a window near the back. Once there, we’d climb down the catwalk, slip around to the ground floor, and run through the plane’s cargo hold. Then, we’d bag up and leave the same way we entered. It would’ve been perfect.

When we arrived, the doors were open and there were about twenty guards surrounding the plane. From my spot from the hill a couple hundred feet away, I couldn’t make out much. All I could tell was that there was a lot of them, far more than there should’ve been. When I saw that, I should’ve turned around and headed home.

“Change of plans,” I whispered to Dash. “Go back to the van and you’re going to find a detonator and a very small amount of C4. Grab them, then loop around the other side of the building. There should be a propane tank. Place the C4 there. When I give the signal, you are to blow it sky-high, understood?”

“I get to blow shit up?” asked Dash. “Will do, Boss.” She ran back to the van to gather the materials I told her about. I peered through my binoculars again, trying to decide how to proceed after that. If things went sour, Dash and I would have to pull out and give up this amazing heist. I couldn’t allow that to happen.

I tapped my earpiece twice, coughing to get Spike’s attention.

“Oh, don’t mind me,” said Spike. “I’m just sitting here, waiting for you to stop losing you goddamn mind!”

“It’s just a diversion, Hyrda,” I said. “It’ll be fine. We need to get the guards out, and this is the best way to deal with it.”

“You think you can trust her to not fuck this up?”

“I think I don’t have a choice. She’s not fast enough to bag everything and get out safely.” I thought about what he said for a moment. “Also, watch your mouth.”

“Seriously?”

“Uh… Boss?” Rainbow cut in on the mic. “You might wanna take a look at this.”

“That phrase is the single biggest waste of time in the history of action movie time-wasters,” said Spike. “What is it?”

“These aren’t guards. They’re the FBI.” I could hear Dash swallow hard through the line.

“Calm down, Apollo,” I said. “This changes nothing. Just—”

“I’m staring at Shining Armor right now.”

I didn’t swear very often. I was normally a very calm, collected person. Even when I was in the middle of a firefight with an opposing gang that’s determined to kill me, I kept a civil tongue.

“Fuck!” I hissed. “No, no, no!” I strained my eyes, trying to see him. “Are you sure?”

“Pale skin, blue hair, vest that says ‘Armor’... I mean, I don’t know the guy personally, but I can take a shot in the dark,” said Dash. “He doesn’t see me, I’m behind the propane tank and he’s a couple yards away. What do we do?”

What to do, indeed. Shining Armor couldn’t find out about me. I’d rather die. Besides Spike, that man is my best friend. The only reason I didn’t follow in his footsteps and become a fed was because he asked me not to (and I already had a taste for heisting). He wanted to protect me, his precious little sister. If he was anyone but my brother… But he was.

“This changes nothing,” I repeated. “If we got caught, it was over, anyway. Now, we just have extra incentive not to get caught. Not that we needed it.”

“Medusa… You sure about this?” asked Spike.

“Just be sure to scramble their communications when the pursuit starts,” I said. “And have the door open for us.”

I ran down the hill, sneaking around the back of the hangar I needed. I slipped down to the corner furthest from my origin, trying to calm my breathing. I couldn’t panic here, or it would be my undoing. Stay calm, Medusa.

“C4 is placed,” said Dash. “And I’m out of the way. Waiting on you.”

I sighed, trying to keep calm enough to do my job. It was never harder to keep my head on straight than it was right then.

“Light it up,” I said. There was a short second of pause, and then the very world seemed to burst. The ground trembled from the explosion, and it almost knocked me over in my distracted state. I took my opportunity and ran. As I entered the hangar, I saw the apparent FBI agents turn tail in the opposite direction. The hangar was empty.

Save for one.

“Freeze! Hands up over your head!”

I didn’t know what else to do. I listened to him. What else are you supposed to do when someone has a gun aimed at your forehead. He looked good for his age. Fifty-five and still looked sharp and energetic. He had a powerful look in his eyes, the type that you normally saw in a man half his age. I had good memories of that look, though. He made that face during chess matches and trivia competitions. He was a competitive man, my brother.

“Pull out your phone!” said Spike. “I have an idea.” I made a phone using my pinkie and thumb. I placed it next to my ear, mimicking a phone. He didn’t react, so I slowly reached into my pocket and retrieved my burner.

“Set it to read out your texts,” directed Spike. I did as I was told, silently watching as Shining made his way forward.

“Hello, Agent Armor.” The phone read out Spike’s text in a choppy, feminine voice. As soon as he heard it, Shining stopped in his tracks.

“To whom do I owe the pleasure?” he asked, lowering his gun slightly.

“Drop your gun, or we will kill her.”

I was probably as confused as Shining.

“Who?” he demanded. There was a short second when nothing happened, followed by the next text. This one was attached to a separate sound clip.

“Let me go!”

I vowed, at that moment, to kiss Spike when I next saw him. The little drake was a genius!

“Twilight?” Shining’s face fell to despair for a fraction of a second before returning to his former stony gaze. “Where is she?” Again, Spike spoke for me.

“Drop your gun, or we will kill her,” it repeated.

“If you hurt her, I will bury you bastards under the prison,” growled Shining. I hated to scare him like that, but it sure beat killing him.

“Cuff yourself, or we kill her,” said the phone. Shining held his gun tightly for a second before lowering it to the ground. He dropped to his knees, grabbed his handcuffs, and restrained himself with his arms behind his back.

I walked over and grabbed his gun.

“You think you can just kidnap my sister and kill me and get away with it?” he spat. “Justice always catches up to you guys. You understand that, right? You’re the bad guys, and the bad guys always lose.”

I pressed my gun against Shining’s forehead.

“Go ahead, shoot me! It won’t change anything!” he shouted. “You kill me here, I guarantee that you’ll be behind bars in three weeks!”

“Medusa! What the fuck are you doing?!” demanded Spike. I took the gun and dropped the mag. I popped out the bullet in the chamber, then laid the gun on the floor. I crouched down until we were eye to eye, his scowl contrasting with my mask’s permanent grin.

“Goodbye, Agent Armor,” said the phone. I tilted my head in an almost taunting manner, then went about bagging up the loot. I turned the text-to-speech function off, then sent Spike a text.

Thanks.

What the hell was that all about?

I looked back to my brother, who wasn’t even trying to escape. If he wanted to, he could’ve eventually uncuffed himself. But he just sat there, biding his time.

Just playing the part. We’re the bad guys, aren’t we?

I sat on the War Map, tossing my mask from hand to hand while Dash, the girl, and Spike fawned over the loot. I didn’t manage to secure the armor, but I walked out with eight swords that would fetch a pretty penny on the market. I pulled out my phone, my real phone, and queued up Shining’s number.

“Hey, everybody, keep it down,” I said. When silence fell, I called my brother. The line rang for a second, then connected. I spoke first. “Hey, Shiny, how’s it going?”

“T-twily?”

“Yeah, sorry I haven’t been around lately. Work has been piling up, you know?” I yawned to emphasize my point. “I was thinking we could go out to dinner on Friday?”

“Wait… What? Dinner?” said Shining. I could imagine him clutching his head in confusion.

“Uh… Yeah. Spike and I thought we’d treat you and Caddy to a night out.” Spike rolled his eyes. He always hated that nickname for Cadance. He thought Cadance was nickname enough. “Oh, and there’s this amazing play opening on Bridleway, I think you and Caddy would love it!”

“Stop! Twilight, I don’t get it. Where are you?” he asked. Spike gestured for information, satisfied with the thumbs-up I gave him.

“I’m on my way home. What’s wrong, bro? You seem off,” I said. “Is everything okay?”

“But… I heard you… Those motherfuckers! Twily, I’m gonna have to call you back!”

He hung up, much to my relief. I dropped the phone onto the table, resting my face in my palms. That was the epitome of too close for comfort.

“Jesus Christ, that was close,” I sighed. “Spike, that was great of you. If it weren’t for you…”

“The fearsome Medusa would be up to her snakes in trouble,” said Spike. “I expect a raise and more paid days off.”

“Where’d you get the recordings?” asked Dash.

“I read stories to children some weekends,” I said. “I get really deep in character, and Spike records me sometimes. Knew it’d come in handy someday.”

“Twi, what happened after Shining cuffed himself?” asked Spike. “What’d you do?”

“I made him feel threatened. It was a tactic,” I explained. “That’s how you beat Shining. You break down his mind first.” I looked over at Dash and the swords, mildly annoyed when I saw Apollo getting high whilst in the presence of ancient artifacts that should’ve been revered and studied. Those swords should be in a museum. About halfway through that thought, I remembered that I was the one who stole them and stopped them from getting into a museum in the first place.

Yeah, we were definitely the bad guys.

An Eye For An Eye

“Oh my goodness… Are you serious?”

“This isn’t something I would joke about, Twily.”

“A-are you okay? Are you safe?”

“I’m fine. Just a bit pissed.”

The dinner should have been a relaxing end to a string of exhaustingly stressful jobs. It was something that I must’ve done hundreds of times. Spike and I invited Shining and his wife to dinner, where we talk about our jobs. Well, obviously, not my real job. I talk about the library, Spike talks about the post office, Cadance tells us as much about her patients’ relationships as she’s legally allowed to, and Shining talked about what murderous, sinister, heartless scumbags he’s put behind bars lately. It was all good fun, if a little dull. That said, everything seemed dull when you burned down a house and killed a handful of people earlier in the month.

Something about this dinner, though… I don’t know what it was, but this dinner was tense.

“Shiny, you’re not explaining very well,” said Cadance. “Tell her exactly what happened.”

“Right, right, sorry,” sighed Shining. “Okay, you guys know about that group of bank robbers? They call themselves the Mythos Crew?”

This was always a tough question to answer. Would Shiny be more convinced if I told him I’d never heard of this Mythos Crew? Or would it be safer to show that I had at least heard of them?

“I think I must’ve heard of them,” said Spike. “You did a press conference not too long ago about them, right?”

“Exactly. Well, before Flurry was born, we caught two of the four robbers. The other two…” Shining shook his head, no doubt disappointed. “Never even saw them. A couple of days ago, I ran into someone who I think might be another member. Maybe even the leader. She was trying to steal some samurai swords from the plane I was tasked with protecting until takeoff. She tricked me.” Shining was clearly very annoyed, no doubt because he had been duped. “She made me think that you were in danger.”

“Oh my… Do you think they might come after me?” I asked. “Should I… I dunno, do something?”

“No, these guys don’t want to hurt you, is my guess,” said Shining. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue and gold poker chip, which he began turning over in his hands. His lucky chip that he got from Dad. “If they wanted to snatch you, I’m sure they would’ve. They’ve been watching you for a while.”

“This entire thing has been a nightmare,” sighed Cadance. “This is exactly why I wanted Shiny to think about retirement. It’s too dangerous, especially at his age.”

“Don’t be silly, Cadance. Shining’s still as quick as a man half his age,” said Spike. He flitted out his tongue teasingly. “Almost as sharp as me.”

“Only things sharp about you are your claws and your breath,” said Shining, a small smile on his face. Spike and Shining always had a sort of brotherly rivalry among them. Childish, yet amusing. “Caddy is right, though. I’m getting too old. I missed too much of life working. Flurry is turning eight soon, and I feel like I just met her. Maybe I should retire.”

“I’ve been telling you, honey, there’s no shame in calling it quits,” said Cadance. She gently grabbed Shining’s arm. “Especially after a career like yours. You haven’t taken a day off since…”

“Since the wedding,” Shining admitted sheepishly. “Okay, okay, I’ll consider retirement.”

Could it possibly be this easy? I hardly said anything. If Shining retired now, it was unlikely that any man, woman, or child would stop the Mythos Crew. Since the very beginning, Shining was the biggest threat to business. If he stepped down…

“After these Mythos guys are behind bars,” said Shining finally. “That’s when I’ll throw in the towel. This’ll be my last case.”

“That’s good, Shiny,” I said, although that was a lie through my teeth. “You certainly deserve a break. I couldn’t imagine your workload.”

“Actually, you could be really helpful, Twilight,” said Shining.

Oh no.

“Uh… How do you figure?”

“You’re a genius! Maybe you can help me work this out. The girl we caught was calling herself the leader, but I don’t believe her. She doesn’t strike me as a leader. All we really know about her is her name and her alias. Moondancer aka Apollo. Apparently based on a god? You know anything about that?”

I couldn’t pretend that I didn’t, because that would be suspicious. I took a second to think of what I would say, trying to keep calm. It wasn’t as easy as it normally was.

“God of music, truth and prophecy, healing, the sun and light, plague, poetry,” I said. “Rode on a chariot drawn by creatures resembling gryphons. Son of Zeus and Leto, and twin brother of the huntress, Artemis. I don’t know how exactly that translates to bank robberies, though.”

“Interesting. That explains her mask. So this girl must have some sort of connection to gods? What about the other one?” asked Shining. “She called herself the Pygmy. Her mask was some sort of bird?”

“Probably a crane. Pygmy have history with cranes, according to myth,” I explained. “Their queen angered a goddess, and the goddess turned her into a crane. For some reason, the Pygmy decided to war with cranes for some time. I suppose because they couldn’t exactly fight a goddess.”

“Hm… The goddess wouldn’t happen to be that Artemis you talked about?”

“No. It was Hera, who was Zeus’ wife. The connection between pygmy and Apollo is very thin,” I said. “Which means it was probably coincidental. If there’s no connection between the characters, maybe there’s one between the suspects?”

I might’ve continued, but a hand grasped my shoulder. I turned, expecting to see any of a large pool of people. Our waiter, apologizing for the horribly long wait time. An old coworker from the library. A random person I didn’t know who mistook me for someone else.

I didn’t expect to see Dash.

“Twi, I really need to talk to you,” she said, her voice just barely a whisper. “As soon as fucking possible.”

“Twilight?” said Cadance. “Would you mind introducing us?”

“Uh… Sure, of course,” I said. “Rainbow, this is my brother, Shining, his wife, Cadance, and you remember Spike, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, nice to meet you,” said Dash dismissively. “Twilight, please, I really need to talk to you.”

“Of course. Excuse me for just a moment, everyone,” I said, rising from the table. I followed Dash as she led me away to a quieter, less populated corner of the restaurant. When I was sure no one could hear us, I went ballistic.

“You better have a damn good reason for coming to me,” I snarled. “Do you understand how stupid this is of you? Shining is a few steps away from catching us, the last thing we need is to give him more of an opportunity! So hurry up and get this over with, so I can try to fix it.”

I only then realized that Rainbow was crying, or, at least, she was trying not to. She trembled, and her face was painted with absolute terror. At first, I thought it was me, but how could it be? I’ve yelled at her before, and she’s always just brushed it off. Whatever happened was bad.

“I went back home to pick up some of Squirt’s stuff, and I walk into my living room and Soarin is on my couch,” said Rainbow, choking back the tears. “A-and… He’s also on the floor. And the coffee table. And my bed. And the bathtub.”

“Jesus…” I breathed.

“Thunderlane’s guys found my friend, this guy I’ve known longer than just about anyone,” sobbed Dash. “And they cut him into fucking pieces!”

“Calm down, calm down,” I whispered.

“What the fuck am I supposed to do?”

This wasn’t ideal. I needed Dash to calm down, and I needed her to be ready to do some… dirty work. I sighed, placing my hand on her shoulder.

“Go home, back to the laundromat,” I whispered. “Sit tight, and wait for me. When I get back, we’ll deal with this.”

“But how?” I gripped her shoulder more tightly.

“We’ll deal with it,” I repeated. “Now go home.”

“Boss, I… I need some… Some something,” said Dash. “I’m all out and my plug is… Fuck, I think I’m gonna be sick.”

“Please don’t. Look, I’m going to text you an address and a combination to a locker,” I whispered. “You take an ounce and no more than an ounce. If more than an ounce is gone, I’ll—”

“Break my arm?” asked Dash quietly. I grinned darkly.

“Maybe after I’m done ripping it off,” I said. “Now go. I have dinner to get back to.”

She nodded, then slowly and shakily went off on her way. I quickly formulated a story for what just happened, deciding to tell Shining and Cadance that Dash was just someone I was helping get back on their feet. I’d play it off like it was no big deal, that I was just doing what I thought was right. Cadance would probably refer to me as a hero.

Meanwhile, I would be planning out a murder spree.

I would have to kill at least one of them.

There was simply no avoiding it. I didn’t want Dash to kill anyone, because she really didn’t need that red on her ledger. All she needed to do was sit there and watch, so that they would learn that to mess with her was to mess with me. I knew that they would need some sort of proof that I was the real deal, and the best way to do that is to put a little bit of pressure on their gang.

I watched the building that they were meeting up in, with Dash to my right and Rift to my left. The new leader of Thunderlane’s gang seemed to have commandeered his predecessor’s office. From what we could see, there were six thugs in the office, not counting the new leader. He was much younger than Thunderlane, and looked to be almost the reverse of him. The kid was dusty, grey-ish blue, and his hair was a dark silver.

“Who's the new man in charge?” I asked.

“Rumble,” said Rift. “Thunderlane’s best friend and sole beneficiary. The whole thing is his now.” He bent over and lifted a sniper rifle from the floor. “You sure you don't want me to just… Y’know. Pfftb!”

“No. Just watch for the signal,” I said. “You do remember the signal, don’t you?” Rift rolled his eyes.

“Please, Dusey, this isn't my first assassination,” he scoffed.

“Don’t ever call me that again.” I looked to Dash. She had her mask halfway up her face to smoke a pipe. “You ready to go, Apollo?”

“Fuck yes. Let's go kill that little shit,” said Dash, dropping her crack and lowering her mask. She raised her gun from the floor, that 12-gauge she liked so much, cocked it, then slung it over her shoulder.

“Just keep your finger off the trigger until I say so,” I ordered. “For real this time. If you treat Rumble like you did Thunderlane, we're pretty much out of options.”

“I'm good,” said Rift. “But not good enough to pop twelve-ish dudes with a bolt action before one of you gets it. Stay safe, Polly. Dusey.” I chose to ignore him. I'd rather not argue with the man who could both save and end my life with a squeeze of the finger.

I led Dash out of our building and across the lot to the meeting house. I pulled my taser from my waist as Dash did the same. We pushed open the door, turned, and fired at the armed guards waiting there. When they were out cold, we made our way up the stairs. Seven floors up, and we were right outside. I looked at Dash one more time, confirming that she was still a trembling mess. I pulled out my revolver and spun the cylinder.

“Follow my lead, Apollo,” I said.

“Fucking lead then,” she shot. I sighed, then prepared to put on a performance worth of Bridleway.

Showtime.

“Hello, gentlemen,” I said, stepping into the room. The baker’s dozen of men in the room drew their assortment of firearms and aimed them at us. Luckily, they had the good thought not to fire just yet.

“Who the fuck are you?” demanded Rumble.

“I would be Medusa, and my companion here,” I said, gesturing to Dash, who was brandishing her shotgun at our humble hosts. “This is my friend. My friend has a friend named Soarin.”

“Had a friend named Soarin,” interrupted Dash.

“Right, sorry. She had a friend named Soarin. You might know him actually. You might’ve caught his name.”

“When you were chopping him to fucking pieces!” snapped Dash.

“Right. So…” I shrugged my shoulders. “Unless you can supply me with a decent explanation and apology…” I turned my gun over in my hand. “I'd hate to have to make a mess in here. It's a nice office. Nice desk, what is that? Mahogany? Looks like mahogany.” I took a step forward, while Rumble took one backwards.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t kill you right now,” said Rumble. I grinned behind my mask, taking another step. My goal was to get him in front of a window, and he was doing exactly what I needed.

“I’ll give you a reason. But first, a story,” I said. “Thirty-seven or so years ago a young, squeaky-clean Medusa committed her first felony. Robbed a liquor store, just for fun. By some miracle, the amatuer, clumsy, admittedly mediocre Baby Medusa managed to get away scot-free. And then she robbed a gas station. Then an electronics store, jewelry store, pawn shop, so on and so forth.” I walked in a slow circle, stopping when Rumble was positioned in front of the window.

“Baby Medusa grew into Adult Medusa who grew into the dusty old crow you see before you,” I continued. “Thirty years of robbing banks and not once has this scary face seen the inside of a prison cell. You want to know why?” I raised my hand and clenched it into a fist. A red dot appeared on Rumble’s forehead, freezing him in place. “It’s because I always cover my ass.”

“What the…”

“If I raise two fingers, you die,” I said. “The only thing that will stop me from raising those two fingers is if you can assure me that we won’t have another Soarin on our hands.”

“You want me to let her go?” asked Rumble, completely mystified.

“Well, that and I need you to stop murdering her loved ones in horrific ways,” I said, trying to pick which of his goons I would kill to prove my point. I picked the one closest to Dash.

“Well, you’re gonna have to kill me then,” spat Rumble. “If you think I’m gonna let this bitch go after she killed my brother, you’ve got another thing coming. So raise those two fingers or move out of my way so I can give her what she deserves.”

Dash’s entire demeanor changed on the word “brother”. She practically dropped her gun. Dash walked over until she was only a few feet in front of Rumble, and she stood silently staring for almost a full minute.

“He… He was your brother?” she asked.

“Yeah. Was. My big brother and best friend,” said Rumble, gripping his gun furiously. “And you killed him.”

“Fuck. I didn’t know…” Dash actually did drop her gun that time. “Look, Rumble. I’m sorry for Thunderlane. I was high, and he… He kidnapped my little sister. Just like your brother would’ve killed to get you back, I did the same.”

“What, and that’s supposed to make it okay?” he asked. “My brother is still dead!”

“I know, and that sucks. I don’t blame you for wanting me dead. Matter of fact…” Dash did the unthinkable. She pulled off her mask, then grabbed Rumble’s gun and pressed it against her forehead. “You can go ahead and kill me right now. But, if I’m dead, my boss will kill you. I can’t stop her from hurting you if you’re alive. So how about a deal. If you let me live, just leave me alone, Medusa won’t lay a finger on you.”

“And I’m just supposed to take your word for that?” scoffed Rumble.

“Swear on my sister’s life,” promised Dash. “Let’s just call this even. We’ve both hurt each other. Why waste any more bullets?” Dash extended her hand, waiting for Rumble to accept it. He stared at her for a while, and even I was left wondering what would happen next.

“You killed my brother,” Rumble reminded us.

“Soarin was my oldest friend. You killed my brother. A life for a life. No more fighting.”

Rumble looked around to his guys, then to me, finally laying his eyes on Dash’s hand. After a deep, tired sigh, he grasped Dash’s hand and shook.

“This doesn’t make us friends,” said Rumble.

“Never said shit about friendship,” returned Dash.

“Get the hell out of my office.”

I raised my hand again, showing a spread palm to the window. That was Rift’s signal to leave. Dash slipped her mask back on, and I followed her out of the room. She was quiet all the way out to the ground floor and into the lot. When I was sure none of Rumble’s guys had followed us, I put my hand on her shoulder.

“Holy heaven, Apollo. Did I just watch you employ diplomacy?” I laughed.

“I didn’t want to kill the kid,” she said flatly. “And I just saved you a bunch of money on cleaning, so you can shove your pretentious, condescending comments right up your ass.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, calm down. I’m impressed, is all,” I said. “You handled that quite intelligently. Well done, Ms. Dash. You did good work.”

“Good enough for a raise?”

“Good enough for me to think about it.” I pulled out my burner, dialed Rift’s number, then put it to my ear.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing. Dash worked her magic, and we’re in the green,” I said. “Go home. I’ll still pay you.”

“Y’know, I’m starting to think you hire me just to spend time with me. Until next time, Dusey.” I hung up, slipping my phone into my pocket.

“I’m going to seriously hurt that man if he calls me ‘Dusey’ again,” I said, shaking my head. Dash chuckled slightly. “What’s so funny?”

“I just think it’s cute how you and Rift flirt.”

“Ha! I’m forty-seven, Dash,” I chuckled. “I’m too old to flirt.”

“Oh, come on, Boss. I know I joke and all, but you’re not that old,” said Dash. “You’re smart, funny when you wanna be, and you’re pretty hot. I mean, as far as grandmas go.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. Let me call Spike.” I dialed his number and put the phone to my ear. When he picked up, I relayed our location and assured him that everything was fine. He arrived shortly thereafter to pick us up. He switched out with Dash and rode in the back with me, handing me my personal cell phone as we pulled off.

“You have a message,” he said. I maneuvered to my voicemail and played the recording, mostly in the background as I listened to Dash recount our little adventure.

“It’s Shining. I did some research on those girls, just like you said. Turns out, they do have some history together, more than the masks. They went to school together, both have their Bachelor’s in social and cultural anthropology. They both loved myths, so much that they made a little group in school called the Mythos Club. Just like I said, Moondancer wasn’t the leader. She was fiercely loyal, though.

“But I bet you knew that, didn’t you, Medusa?”

My heart stopped. I must’ve misheard him. There’s no way in Equestria that he said that. I couldn’t speak for Dash, but Spike matched my terror. The air in my lungs felt as if it had solidified. I couldn’t breathe.

“That fiercely loyal lieutenant of yours wasn’t so hard to break when I told her that she would die in prison unless she revealed your identity.” Shining’s voice was dripping with spite. Disgust. “After that, she sang like a canary. I didn’t believe her, but then… I looked a bit deeper. There were too many happy coincidences. You all went to school together, all worked for the Royal Library at about the same time. Then, I thought about that little recording. Why bother spying on you if they only wanted to use your voice? If they wanted you for leverage, why not just take you? That’s when I really got down into it.”

No. No no no, this could not be happening!

“I got my hands on some videos of this Medusa character. She was your height, your weight, your posture, your gait. Then, I heard some audio. You know, I thought it was weird that the person who put a gun to my head didn’t speak. Now I know why. You were afraid of me recognizing you.”

I felt sick. I genuinely thought I would faint, or worse. Everything was falling apart.

“I haven’t told anyone yet. Not even Caddy. Tomorrow, she’ll be out of the house with Flurry to have some mommy-daughter time. I will be there, alone. If you turn yourself in, and explain to me why exactly you did the things you did, and if I like your answer, I might go easy on you. If you choose to run, though… I will not sleep until you are sentenced to life. If you’re lucky.”

My head swam. My gun clattered to the floor, followed swiftly by my phone. I was going to die. I needed air. Oxygen refused to enter my lungs, and I threatened to start hyperventilate. Spike grabbed my shoulder, trying to calm me down.

“Twilight!” He sounded like he was a mile away. “Get a grip, Twilight!”

“He knows,” I whispered. “He knows, he fucking knows!”

“What are we gonna do?” asked Dash. She glanced back to check on me. Based on her expression, I looked as bad as I felt. “What are you gonna do?”

I stared down at my gun, the blue revolver I got from Silver. I slowly picked it, turning it over in my hand.

“The only thing I can do,” I breathed.

Author's Note

Be sure to tell me what you thought of this chapter. I await your critique, in hopes that I may make this story better.

Take The Shot

“You can’t do this. This is majorly fucked!”

“I know. I’m out of options.”

“Twilight, just think it through for a second.”

“I’ve been thinking it through all night. This is the only thing I can do.”

I had to protect Dash. I had to protect Spike. I had to protect my image. Those are the things I kept telling myself in hopes to justify my next job. Job, I called it. It was just business. An unpleasant, strategic move to protect myself and my allies. I brought Dash into this, and her sister. I was honor-bound to protect them. If I got caught, Dash would get caught. If Dash got caught, so would the girl, and she’d be charged as an adult. If that happened, I was certain that she would incriminate herself far more than she needed to in an attempt to protect Dash. Spike would go down with me, just like the girl would for Dash. I couldn’t let them throw away their lives for me.

I wasn’t doing it for myself. I was doing it to protect my friends.

“We can run,” suggested Spike.

“He’d find us,” I said, my voice shaky.

“He hasn’t found us so far.”

“He didn’t know it was us. Now he does.” I slipped my revolver into my concealed side holster, then covered it with my suit jacket. “He will find us.”

“Then… I don’t know, Twi, but this is insane!” Spike slammed his hands on the wheel. “We can’t really do this, can we?”

“No, we can’t. That’s why I’m going to do it,” I said. “Just stay in the van and be sure to leave when you hear the cops.”

Spike wasn’t quite clear on the plan, mostly because I was sort of making it up as I went along, so he nearly had a conniption upon hearing the word “cops”.

“What the hell are you talking about?!” He turned to face me. “Cops?! You’re gonna kill him and then call the cops on yourself?!”

“Think about it. After the deed is done, I can ditch the gun in his collection,” I explained. Shiny had a large collection of firearms, a whole section dedicated to revolvers. “Then, I’ll call the cops, tell them that I found my brother… Like that, and immediately throw any suspicion off of myself. As far as anyone knows, we were on good terms. I have no motive. But Shining has enemies. He must, after all the guys he’s put away. They’d never suspect me.”

“Fuck, Twilight. I can’t believe…”

“I know.” I slid open the van’s door. “I’ll call you when everything is done.” As I stepped out, I felt Spike’s hand grab my shoulder.

“Twilight… Are you sure that this has to happen?” he asked.

“I wouldn’t be here if I thought there was another option,” I said.

“Then let me do it. You shouldn’t have to…” I peeled his hand off and stepped out of the van, a small, sad smile on my face.

“This is my mess. I’ll be the one to clean it,” I said. “I’ll call you when the job is done. Go home.”

I closed the door, then walked up the street to Shining’s house. I had a lot of fond memories of the place. I helped him househunt for the place. I was there when he proposed to Cadance, on his thirty-ninth birthday. I was there for Flurry’s first birthday. Now, I could hardly look at the place without throwing up.

It was a nice two-story place. Eggshell white. The front lawn was immaculate, something that Shining took great pride in. I couldn’t see it from the front, but I knew the backyard was equally neat and tidy. If I knew Shining, which I did, he would be expecting me out back by the pool. A beer in his hand, his lucky chip on the table, and a chess board between us. Shining loved chess as much as I did. He's the one who taught me, after all. He believed it to be the ultimate icebreaker. Behind his house was nothing but empty houses that have yet to be sold.

The front door was unlocked, just as I expected, and I walked into the house just as I did a million times before. This time, I felt as though I was walking to my own execution. I was seriously doing it.

The living room was empty, save for Flurry’s toys that littered the floor. It made the whole place feel eerie. Haunted, almost. Not that I was superstitious. With everything I've done, I couldn't afford to believe in ghosts or demons or God. I wouldn’t be on good terms with any of them.

I entered the kitchen, which was devoid of the sounds and smells I remembered it for. Cadance was always busy there, every time I visited. As soon as she saw me, she offered me a coffee and a piece of cake, or a cookie, or whatever she happened to be baking that day. Cadance had a knack for making you feel safe, regardless of how terrible your situation was. Even though she didn’t know it, she comforted me when Moondancer and Lyra went under.

Traitor. I thought I could trust her. We’d been through it all together, and she just stabbed me in the back. I gave her everything she could’ve wanted, and then she does this! All she had to do was be patient, and I would’ve gotten her out. But no… The selfish, spineless coward couldn’t hold out for a bit longer.

My angry train of thought was broken when I stepped out onto the patio. Just next to the pool, beer in his right hand, poker chip in his left, was Shining Armor. If he noticed me, he sure didn’t show it. All of a sudden, my gun weighed a thousand pounds. It was very much there now, very real. I could do it. Just pull it out, aim, and…

“Hello, Shining,” I said instead. He didn’t look at me. How could he?

“Sit down,” he said sharply. I did as I was told, slowly, to ensure that he didn’t see my gun. We stared at each other for a few moments, neither of us knowing exactly how to move on from here. After about two minutes, Shining finally got his words together to speak.

“When did it start?” he asked.

“I… That’s not easy to answer,” I said. “I don’t know exactly when it started. My first… I was seventeen when I did my first. But I didn’t get to anything of any sort of scale until later.”

“Do you understand what you’ve done?” asked Shining. “I’ve been chasing you for the better part of five years, and you were right underneath my nose the whole time. Do you know what you’ve done to me? How much time with Flurry I’ve missed out on? How many fights with Cadance are because I wouldn’t let you go.” My stomach folded over on itself. Could that be true. “My marriage almost ended because of you, Twilight. And for what? For money? How much is my family worth to you, Twilight?”

“It’s… It’s never been about the money…” I whispered. Shining exploded, slamming his hands onto the table.

“Don’t fuck with me! It’s not about the money?!” he snapped. “What do you mean?! How can this not be about money? You’re a thief, Twilight. It’s always about money.”

“You wouldn’t understand,” I said. Shining stood up, freezing my blood as he did. He turned on the spot and put a cigarette into his mouth.

Now. Right now. I could do it. Pull the trigger right now, get it over with. I didn’t have a choice. I had to protect my friends.

“You’re right. I wouldn’t. There’s no way in God’s green Earth that I’d understand,” said Shining. “To be frank, I don’t want to understand. I just want a list of everything you’ve ever done, directions to the rest of your Crew, and an apology. The order is up to you.”

I could at least apologize. I owed him that much, at the absolute least.

“There is no combination of twenty-six letters that could put together a word to describe just how sorry I am,” I said. “I never intended for my actions to impact you or your family. I want you to know that, regardless of what happened in the past, I’m still your sister. I still love you. I never meant for this to happen.”

Now. I had to do it now. It was simple. Pull, point, squeeze. Three steps to avoid prison. It’s not like I’d never killed anyone before. Shining wouldn’t be the first life lost by my hand, and he likely wouldn’t be the last. Why was I freezing up so much? Just do it!

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” asked Shining. “Hm? Is that supposed to change what you did? You think you can put a gun to my head, invite me to dinner, and then just get off the hook with a ‘my bad’?”

“In defense of me, I never intended to fire that gun,” I said. “It was a scare tactic. One that I maintain was a better option than shooting you.”

Shoot him.

“I thought you were in danger. I thought I might have put you in harm’s way.”

Shoot him now. Do your job.

“Again, better than shooting you.”

Now.

“Depends on what you’re trying to do. If you wanted to keep your operation going, you should’ve pulled the trigger.”

Pull the trigger.

“For the record, I’m unfathomably sorry,” I said. Shining sort of shrugged, flipping his chip like a coin. Just like Dad used to.

“Alright, I got my apology,” he growled. “Now I want my confession. What have you been up to, Medusa?”

Normally, being referred to as ‘Medusa’ felt good. It made me feel powerful, dangerous, scary. The way my brother said it made me feel the exact opposite. For a second, he made me hate the name. Made me hate what it stood for. Made me hate myself.

“It’s a long list,” I said.

“I’ve got all day.”

I sighed. I couldn’t do it. My revolver may as well have been a water pistol. No matter how much my brain screamed at my hands to move, they refused. But I couldn’t just sit there. I had to shoot him. There was no alternative.

“I’ll spare you the liquor stores and pawn shops. For now, let’s just focus on the bigger scores,” I said. It didn’t matter what I told him, though. He’d be dead in a few minutes anyway. “The swords from the airplane hangar, as you know. Before that, rifles from a museum. A guy hired us, we only knew him as the Historian. I pissed him off during a meeting, and he sent a guy to kill me during the job.” I paused for a beat, searching Shining’s face for sympathy, pity, anything. He was blank. “I convinced the hitman to kill the Historian instead.

“We robbed jewelry stores, because it was quick, easy, and fun,” I continued. “The biggest pull in recent memory was the Las Pegasus Bank.”

“You roped those poor girls into this,” said Shining. Somewhere, buried beneath my anxiety and self-loathing for the task at hand, I was angry.

“Those girls were crooks before I met them,” I said sharply. “They would’ve ended up behind bars anyway. Especially Tiara. Sneaky little devil tried to stab me in the back.”

“Gee, I wonder what betrayal feels like.”

I wasn’t sure if Shining was doing it intentionally, but every word of his made me feel like turning my revolver on myself more than him. I’d do just about anything to get this feeling in my gut to stop.

Shoot him.

“Shiny…” I couldn’t manage much more just then. “I’ve done horrible things. I won’t argue you that. I deserve to be buried under the prison. But I’ve never done any of it to hurt you. All the steps I took to ensure that you never found out, it wasn’t just for my sake. I didn’t want you to feel… Whatever it is you’re feeling.”

“You wanna know what I’m feeling, Twilight? You wanna understand what’s going on in my mind?” The answer was “no”, but my tongue seemed to freeze in my mouth. “I’m feeling grief. I’m mourning. I’m mourning because my sister is dead and you decided to start wearing her skin.”

Tears rolled down my cheek, and that was when I knew. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it. It wasn’t worth it. Nothing was worth this. I trembled, all of the energy seeming to leave my body. I lowered my head down to the table and just… cried.

“Don’t,” said Shining bluntly. “I don’t care. Just give me the names of your Crew members so we can get this over with.”

For the record, I wouldn’t have told him even if I wasn’t interrupted. I wouldn’t betray the others like that. I would’ve maintained my silence even if my phone didn’t ring at that very moment.

“Answer the phone,” ordered Shining. “And put it on speaker.” I nodded, then pulled out my phone. It was Spike. I tried, then failed, to calm my breathing, then answered it and put it on speakerphone.

“Twi?” he said.

“Yeah. You’re on speakerphone,” I said. “Spike… I can’t do it. Change of plans.”

“Oh, I know. But this time, we’re going with my Plan B,” said Spike. “Sorry, Shiny. Nothing personal. And Twi, remember that I’m doing this for you.”

I didn’t have time to think about what he meant before I heard the ring of a gunshot, followed by Shining’s anguished scream. I gawked, mouth agape, at my brother writhing on the floor, cluthing his hip. Blood gushed from the wound, pooling around him. He swore and grunted, fighting to remain conscious while I just sat and stared.

A second later, when reality had washed back over me, I screamed.

“Twi, I need you to calm down. Apollo is coming to get you out,” said Spike. “I’ll see you soon.”

“You shot him!” I screamed hysterically. “Shining! Shining!”

I felt a hand grab my wrist. In a fit of panic, I shook free and swung blindly at whoever grabbed me. The masked figure, wearing a griffon mask, fought to keep me still. She shouted something I couldn’t quite make out, and a young girl ran to her with a syringe in her hand. She handed the syringe to Apollo, who stuck it in my neck as slowly and carefully as possible given my thrashing. I flailed, getting weaker and weaker with time, until my arms felt like they were filled with lead. It became impossible to keep my eyes open, and a cold, dark, silence soon took me.

I was moving when I woke up. I was laying down, but I was definitely in motion. I felt sick. What just happened? Where was I?

“Uh… Rainbow?” I recognized the voice, but couldn’t tell who it belonged to, nor could I tell where she was. “She’s waking up.”

“Get her some water.” Rainbow. Rainbow Dash. Slowly, everything began falling into place. I slowly sat up in the back of my van, looking around both the inside and the outside. Within the van’s walls was the girl, Scootaloo, sitting just beside me. I looked through the rearview mirror to see Rainbow’s panicked, frightened eyes. Outside of the van… We were pulling up to a laundromat. I shook my head at the thought. Not a laundromat. My laundromat.

“Spike…” I whispered. “Where’s Spike?”

“Lay back down,” said the girl. “When Thunderlane’s guys drugged me, I sat up too fast and gave myself a hell of a headache.” She pressed a bottle of water into my hands. “And you wanna stay hydrated. Your stomach will hurt really bad otherwise.”

“Where’s Spike?” I repeated.

“He’s coming,” promised Dash. “Said he’s picking stuff up.” A short few seconds later and the dragon in question ran from the laundromat. He had a duffel bag slung over each shoulder and a laptop in his hands. Scootaloo pulled the door open for him, sliding it shut when he was securely inside.

“Spike…” My head still swam. “Shining is…”

“Not dead, just as I intended,” said Spike. “I shot him in the back, it should only put him in a wheelchair for a while. We’ll talk later.” He unfolded his laptop and immediately began typing on it. “Dash, drive.”

“Where to?” she asked.

“Literally any-fucking-where!”

She pulled off, gunning it for a destination that nobody seemed to know. Spike frantically typed on his laptop, then, after about five minutes, pulled out his phone and made a call.

“Widow, shut up for a sec, let me ask you a favor,” he said into his cell. “Shit is hitting the fan up north. Please, for the love of God, please tell me you have somewhere safe for us to stay. It’s four of us.” Silence. “Fuck, thank you so much! Is it the same place? Have you changed the lock?” Another short pause. “We’ll be there in a couple of hours. Look, you know I wouldn’t call if it wasn’t important. I have nowhere else to turn. Thank you, thank you so much! Alright, Hydra out.” He closed his phone, then punched the passenger seat angrily.

“What was that about?” asked Dash.

“I just had to call someone I never wanted to speak to again,” growled Spike. “And now we’re gonna have to live with them. Dash, head south.”

“It would help if I knew where the fuck I was going!” snapped Dash.

“We’re going to Appleloosa. Someone is going to give us a place to stay, and hopefully some work.” Spike flipped his laptop open again. “We’re gonna get cut off from our offshore accounts soon, we need to start thinking about money.”

“Why’d you do it?” I asked, my heart pounding in my chest. “Why did you shoot him?!”

“Because you wouldn’t, and it was the only option,” said Spike. “If we would’ve just ran… But, no. You had to talk to him first. Now, we have to relocate… Fuck, this isn’t good.”

This was my fault. I couldn’t make a decision, and it was falling back on my Crew. That was, simply put, unacceptable. Time for me to step up to the plate. I looked at my friends, all of whom were scared, confused, and a million other things. It was chaos. Some part of me made the choice to force some sort of order.

“What did you grab from the laundromat?” I asked, slipping back into Leader Mode.

“A couple of guns, our masks, and as much money as I could stuff in there,” said Spike. “Only things that are gonna last are the masks.”

“Good,” I said. “That’s all we’ll need.”

“Why run to Appleloosa?”

“I had no clue. I certainly wouldn’t have picked the place.”

“No, you misunderstood me. Perhaps it’d be better to ask why you ran at all.”

Twilight had been speaking for quite a while, and she was actually kind of glad that she was interrupted. It gave her a moment to recover from talking about the hardest part of her story so far. Even with all the time that passed and all the things that happened in between, this still managed to choke Twilight up.

“I see. Well, I definitely did intend to turn myself in,” said Twilight tiredly. “But Spike stepped in, and it couldn’t be helped. I wasn’t about to waste his interference.”

“Are you glad that Spike shot Agent Armor?”

Twilight didn’t answer at first. For several seconds, she was quietly contemplating. She rubbed her eyes tiredly, then sighed.

“I’m glad that Spike acted. At first, I resented him for shooting my brother, but I soon began to appreciate what he did,” said Twilight. “He showed courage that I never could, and took a risk to pull me out of the fire and back into the frying pan. For that, I may never be able to repay him.”

“Interesting. So, you went to Appleloosa. What exactly did you intend to accomplish?”

“We just wanted to wait until things calmed down a smidge. I wish we would’ve gone somewhere else, though.”

“What’s wrong with Appleloosa?”

“Too hot and dry. Not much to do, legal or otherwise, unless you’re a fan of cocaine. Oh, and then there was the cartel, which wasn’t exactly what I’d call a fun time.” Twilight grinned slightly. “Worst part was our roommate. What a pain in the neck.”

The Spider To The Fly

“Oh, Mythos! I have something for you!”

“Oh boy. That’s never a good tone.”

“Hush, boy. I finally found you some work!”

“Really? That’s great, actually.”

I’m a control freak. I have no issue admitting it. I just preferred to have the situation under control. I didn’t like following directions. I felt like I was meant to be dishing out the orders, not taking them. As such, I wasn’t ecstatic when Rarity came out with a job. That was a task I delegated to Spike.

“What’s the job?” I asked. “More importantly, what’s the pay?”

“I have a bit of business to attend to, and my target is a bit of a one-percenter,” explained Rarity. “When he’s good and dead, you can have your pick of the place. Trust me, I’ve looked the location over, and there is quite a bit of gold and silver laying around. Plus, the old man has gone a bit round the bend and doesn’t trust the bank anymore.”

“So he keeps his money in his mattress?” asked Dash. Rarity giggled.

“It’s a bit more than a mattress, but you have the right idea. This job is perfect! Money for you, money for me, and this is an easy enough mark that I can finally take my sister out to see her first kill!”

We had been at Rarity’s for four days at that point, and her sister had popped up four times. Each time she did, she excitedly chattered, mostly about nothing and mostly to Scootaloo, until Rarity sent her on an errand of some sort. I got a chance to talk to her, and she told me that Rarity was training her to be an assassin as well. Apparently, it was a family business. At the moment, she was out on some sort of job, while my Crew and I tried to become acquainted with this new environment. Until a few minutes ago, Rarity was gone as well. I tried to look happy to see her, but I doubt I managed well.

“So, what’s the plan?” I asked. Saying that to anyone but Spike made me want to vomit, but we needed the money.

“Well, Sweetie and I have to deal with the gentleman, preferably before you lot have your fun,” explained Rarity, looking at me with an almost devious glint in her eyes. “Although, if you like, one of you can come along with us, to see if there’s anything you can learn from the man before… You know.” She clutched her throat and hung her head limp.

“I’ll go,” volunteered Dash, before I could speak. Rarity smiled as politely as she could, and it likely fooled Dash. I saw how fake it was, though.

“Mind you, this one… It won’t be as clean as some of my others,” said Rarity. “My client is an ex-girlfriend, and she wants him to suffer. It is not for those with a weak stomach.”

“I’ll do it,” I said. “Dash doesn’t know how to hold an interrogation, anyway.” I glanced at Dash, hoping my expression alone would be enough to make her understand. She didn’t argue, which was good.

“Are you sure you’ll be able to handle it, darling?” asked Rarity, that phony sweetness back in her voice. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think she actually was concerned. “It really won’t be pretty, I assure you. Ordinarily, I don’t do it this way because of the blood.” She retched. “Horribly disgusting. Can’t stand the sight of it. But, as they say, the customer is always right.”

“She’ll be fine, Widow,” said Spike. “In the meantime, Dash and I need to talk to a guy about equipment. We hardly have any guns, let alone anything I need for hacking or surveillance.”

“What about me?” I’d forgotten that Scootaloo was there with us. “What should I do?”

“Sit tight here and stay out of trouble,” said Dash. “The last thing I need is for you to get grabbed by the cartel for their virgin sacrifices or whatever the hell they do.”

“Who said I was a virgin?” asked the girl, though I suspected mostly to mess with Dash.

“Me.” She glared at her little sister with enough fury to make even me flinch. “Just try not to fuck up Widow’s crib, okay?”

“The fuck am I supposed to do when you guys are out all day?” groaned Scootaloo. Dash took a step towards the girl, likely to punch her in the chest, when Rarity grabbed her shoulder gently.

“While I agree that a lady really has no business swearing,” said Rarity. “I can understand Scootaloo’s frustration. Perhaps we can reach a compromise? There’s an arcade about a block away, and I have more quarters than I know what to do with. I’m sure that, if you were to assure Rainbow that you’ll be right there and back…”

“Right hand, left hand, both feet to God,” swore Scootaloo. “Right there and back.”

“Hm… I guess it’s alright. Just… Be safe, okay?” said Dash. Scootaloo nodded.

“I assure you, Rainbow, she will be perfectly fine. Appleloosa may be a bit drab, but that comes with the added benefit of it being fairly safe,” promised Rarity. “You really needn’t worry. Though, I hope you don’t mind, I’d like to have a word with her about her language. You too, frankly. A proper lady should never swear. It’s unbecoming.”

I was suddenly gripped with a deep desire to cuss like a sailor.

“She’ll reign it in,” said Dash. “And I’ll try my best. Spike, when do we leave?”

“Widow?” asked Spike. “What do you think?”

“Well, you two can head out whenever you see fit,” said Rarity. “Medusa and I will have to wait for Sweetie Belle to get back from her errands. Who knows when that will be. Knowing Sweetie, she probably dozed off when she should be…” It was then, when she started to talk about her sister, that I saw her facade slip for a moment. She didn’t have the look of a concerned sister. She looked more like an irritated drill sergeant.

“Should be…?” Spike gestured for her to finish, and she shook her head as if she hadn’t realized that she stopped speaking.

“Working, sorry. Lost myself in thought for a moment.” And, just like that, it was back. Even without her exquisite piece of art, she always wore a mask. “That girl is a clever one, if a bit easily distracted. I suppose I shouldn’t blame her. She gets it from me.”

“You should call her,” said Spike, gathering his things. “Knowing the type of work you sent her on, she could need your help.”

“I suppose you’re right. Let’s pray she hasn’t turned her phone to silent.” Rarity pulled out a phone, a burner, dialed a number and then put it to her ear. She was quiet for a moment, then said, “‘Will you walk into my parlour?’ said the Spider to the Fly. Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy.” Another stretch of silence, followed by Rarity rolling her eyes. “Your wording is imperfect, darling. It’s technically ‘ne’er’, not ‘never’.” She chuckled slightly. “Yes, I suppose I am being a perfectionist. When can we expect you home? We have work to do. What? How…? Darling, I don’t have time to… No, I don’t suppose you can just walk. Hm… Spikey will be there to pick you up. Behave yourself, little lady. I’ll see you tonight. And bidding you good evening now, I’ll call another day.”

She hung up her phone and let out a dull, quiet scream through her clenched jaw. Spike paused, as if he knew what that meant. I had to remind myself that he probably did.

“Spikey, darling,” said Rarity, her voice dripping with false sugary sweetness. “Would you like to do Mama a teeny-weeny, itty-bitty, microscopic, miniscule favor?”

“Widow, darling.” Spike matched Rarity’s tone. “Would you like to do Spikey a teeny-weeny, itty-bitty, microscopic favor and never call yourself ‘Mama’ ever again?” Rarity frowned.

“I don’t recall hearing you complain. In fact, once upon a time, I believe you actually enjoyed it quite a bit. Or have you forgotten?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll pick up Sweetie Belle, okay?!” I spared Spike a glance. It seemed that he was blushing, though he would deny that until the day he died.

“And Medusa?” Rarity grinned sheepishly. “You’re going to have to fill in for Sweetie, if you don’t mind terribly.”

I was a bit uneasy, but there wasn’t much I could say. We really needed money, and this was an opportunity I couldn’t afford to pass up. Still… Being completely alone with Rarity made me nervous. I wasn’t sure what she would be like away from Spike, or while on the job. She could be dangerous.

I agreed, deciding that I’d keep my guard up at all times.

Apparently, Sweetie Belle had been sent out into the desert with her dog, which she had been raising for some three years. Sweetie was supposed to kill the dog using nothing but a dull knife. The point of this was to remove some of the shock and horror that comes with killing. She went to slit the dog’s throat when it bit her and ran off. She chased it and tackled it down a little dune, twisting her ankle in the process. She managed to kill and bury the dog, but she wouldn’t be able to walk home. Spike would have to go pick her up and bring her back. That meant Rarity needed me to play camerawoman.

The house was very nice. I didn’t get much time to look at it, Rarity moved quickly, but I easily surmised that the owner had certain, opulent tastes. When we arrived at the door, I reached into my pocket for my lockpicking kit, but Rarity stopped me with a wave. She produced a spare key from her pocket, gave me a wink, and opened the door. We walked in, closed the door behind us, and slipped on our masks.

I don’t think I can overstate how beautiful I found Rarity’s mask. She didn’t seem to notice how I stared at it as we moved through the house. Half-masks were normally so tacky and generic. Most folks were content with a skull pattern, which was horribly boring. Widow was beginning to change my perspective.

“Where’d you get the key?” I asked as she led me up a flight of stairs.

“I’ve been following this one for quite some time. I swiped his key for a few, made a mold out of clay,” she explained. “I returned the key and made a copy.”

“Designer, assassin, and a pickpocket? Is there anything you don’t do?”

“Fail.”

I’m certain that she meant it as a joke. She even seemed to smile, from what I could see of her face. But, coupled with the spider mouth, she just looked ready to leap onto me and rip out my throat.

We eventually reached a bedroom, at which point I grabbed my revolver in my right hand, then gestured for her to open the door. She did so, then we stepped in. I immediately began appraising the stuff inside the room. Paintings, statuettes of jade and ivory, jewelry. Some decent stuff. The man we were after was asleep in his bed, calm and peaceful.

I stopped in front of his bed and pressed my revolver against his forehead.

“What’s his name?” I asked.

“Fancy Pants,” said Rarity. She turned for the door. “Keep him quiet, I have to go set up downstairs.” She vanished through the door, leaving me with my target.

I slapped Fancy gently, just enough to stir him from his slumber. As soon as he opened his eyes, I clapped my hand over his mouth.

“Scream and I kill you,” I whispered. “Your vault. Where is it and what’s the combination?” I moved my hand, making sure to keep my gun firmly against his head.

“It’s d-downstairs,” he whimpered. “29510. Please don’t hurt me.”

“I won’t, just answer my questions. What else? What else do you have hidden around here?” I asked. “Anything of value? And please, do not lie to me. I’ll know.”

“B-box of jewelry in the basement.” He sounded honest, which was to be expected. When a woman with a gun to your head asks you a question, you don’t tend to lie. “And a chess set. Gold and platinum pieces. Very valuable.”

“Thank you for your consideration,” I said, grinning behind my mask. That chess set would not be added to the savings account. I’d be keeping that for myself.

“Oh, Ms. Medusa! Would you kindly invite our guest downstairs?”

“Get up, friend.” I grabbed Fancy by the arm and dragged him out of bed. I led him at gunpoint out of the room and down the stairs to the basement. The place was sparse, with the tall safe in the corner being the main attraction. Rarity had laid a sheet of plastic onto the ground in the middle of the floor, no doubt for the sake of clean up.

“What’s all this?” asked Fancy, absolutely terrified. “Who are you?”

“On your knees,” said Rarity. Her voice was different. A bit of her elegance was gone, replaced with what sounded like primal desire. Anticipation.

“What do you need of me?” I asked. She tossed me a camcorder.

“Record.”

And, with that, she got to work. She forced Fancy to his knees and rammed her foot into his face. I barely had the camera on when she went to work with her knife. Her work was sporadic, some slashes calm and maticulate, while others were feral and vicious. She shouted at him, barely heard over Fancy’s anguished screams. For someone who doesn’t like blood, she spilled a lot of it there. She looked at me, a savage look in her eyes. She seemed less an assassin and more a carnivore.

“Die! Die! Die! Die! Die! Die!” she shouted, stabbing her knife wildly into Fancy’s throat. Her frenzy startled me just a bit. I was gonna step forward to tell her to calm down when she shot me that look. The look was amazingly intimidating. She froze my blood with a single glance. It was a look that screamed “cross me and you’re next”.

I feel no shame in saying that I was scared. Not very scared, not enough to do anything. But, for that single moment, Rarity scared me.

“I think he’s done,” I said, watching in disgusted awe as she continued to stab Pants’ corpse. I killed the recording, then set the camera down onto the floor. Rarity dropped her knife, a visible sheen of sweat clinging to her forehead.

“Ugh. Horribly dreadful work,” sighed Rarity. She pulled her mask off, involuntarily licking her lips. “I don’t typically do this, as I’ve said. Poison is normally what I go with.”

“What do you think about when you work?” I asked. Rarity looked confused. “You seemed pretty passionate. What are you thinking about?” Rarity sighed.

“Spike.” Now it was my turn to be confused. “Not like that, obviously. I just think about what I would do to anyone who would dare hurt him.” Her gaze lingered on me for a minute. “Anyone who dared tried to take him from me.”

I knew from the get-go that my living situation with Rarity wouldn’t be permanent. It was only then did I realize that I would need to leave very quickly. I didn’t think Rarity would hurt me, not unless I gave her a reason. Still, the two of us would be very volatile together. I needed to start making my way out of the music shop.

Which meant I needed help from Dash.

Author's Note

Sorry for the wait, Overwatch has stolen all of my attention. Back to working on this with my full focus though.

Tell me what you think of this chapter!

Propositions

“Where are we going?”

“I gotta meet up with a friend.”

“In the middle of the fucking desert?”

“He insisted.”

Dash wasn’t nervous. She had no reason to be. I hadn’t shared my concerns with her, not yet. Any unease, I’m sure, came from the fact that Scootaloo wasn’t with us. Also, she hadn’t gotten any drugs on her hands in a few weeks. She was bound to be a bit irritable.

Moving to Appleloosa wasn’t fantastic, but at least it kept her clean.

“So, why invite me?” asked Rainbow, kicking her feet up on the dash. “I should be at home, in case Rarity comes through with another job. It’s been what? A month?”

“She has my number,” I said. “Besides, I wanted to talk to you. I feel like we’re missing out on some good bonding, you and I.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Look, Lyra and Moondancer were my oldest friends,” I explained. “Spike notwithstanding. The four of us worked really well together because we were all best friends. I want that connection with you.”

“We’ve been doing well so far, haven’t we?” I shot Dash a glare. “Fine. It’s not like you’re the worst person to hang with in the world. Drinking with you back in Canterlot was kinda fun.”

“Speaking of Canterlot…” I sighed. “I’m really sorry about what went down.” She looked a bit confused. “I mean, I sort of ruined your life. I feel bad, forcing you out of your home and bringing you down here.”

“Hey, I’m loyal to people, not places. I don’t give a fuck where I am,” said Dash with a convincing amount of nonchalance. Then, she got a little quieter. “Besides… After what happened to Soarin, I couldn’t look at that house, let alone sleep there.”

“Right. Still, home is home. I feel bad that I took that from you.”

Dash pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. After a few puffs, she offered it to me. I took a draw, thinking hard about what I would do. Half of my mind was with Dash. The other was all over the place.

“Listen, me and Scoots are from Cloudsdale. I only moved to Canterlot a year or two ago. All that time, the best thing that happened to me was meeting you.” Dash met my eyes, blushing at my slight smirk. “I swear to God, that sounded way less gay in my head.”

“I’m flattered.” A short silence overtook the van, at which point I returned the cigarette. Dash flicked it out of the window, tapping her fingers on her knee anxiously. I’ve seen a lot of dope heads in my day, and not many were able to kick the cravings so easily. Dash just seemed a bit jumpy.

“What do you think of Rarity?” I asked. Dash just shrugged at first.

“I think she’s fine. Hot as hell. If she didn’t have a thing for Spike, I’d be first in line,” said Dash. “She’s kinda scary, though.”

“Scary how?” Could she possibly be on the same page as me? Could we really be thinking the same thing?

“Scary like you. A big boss lady who takes no shit.” Dash shrugged again. “I dunno. She’s probably nicer than you, though. And she has a sense of humor.”

Of course not.

“Hm. I suppose so. What about her sister?” I asked. “That girl creeps me out. She’s been brainwashed pretty badly. I spoke to her last week, asked her about herself, and she ended up telling me the proper way to remove a heart.” I shook my head. “What do you do to a girl to make her think like that?”

I expected Rainbow to be outraged, or at least angry at how Rarity treated her sister. It would make a lot of sense for her to be offended. However, she slumped down slightly, her expression dropping to what seemed like shame.

“Brainwashing?” The way she said it didn’t make it seem like much of a question.

“I don’t know what else to call that,” I said. “She’s been feeding this kid all this horrible information to turn her into a killing machine. I don’t have my dictionary on hand, but I’m pretty sure that’s exactly brainwashing.”

“Yeah, but… It’s just, like…” Dash struggled to speak. “Who are we to judge?”

“Huh?”

“We’re not exactly saints, Boss. We’re scumbags. Criminals. Killers.”

“You’re not a killer,” I said, panic clawing at me. This wasn’t going the way I wanted it to.

“I shot Thunderlane. Dropped some kid’s older brother dead because I was high. Plus, it’s not like I’m Older Sister of the Year, anyway.”

Sometimes, it’s better to just sit back and shut up. Sometimes, you should leave well enough alone, and resist the urge to ask “what do you mean” when someone says something heavy.

“What do you mean?” I asked. Dash sighed, burying her face in her palms.

“I met Scoots on the streets. She had no place to go, nowhere to live, so it wasn’t hard for me to be a hero to her. I got attached to her, and I ended up taking advantage of it,” said Dash. “I didn’t mean to, honest, but I’ve conditioned her to see me as a god. It wasn’t hard. I just said things like ‘aren’t I the greatest?’. Then we played video games. ‘I’m fucking awesome, let’s go get ice cream’. Years of that and now she sees me as a hero, and I’m not.” Rainbow looked like she might start crying soon, which I was not in any way prepared for. “And I dragged her into my shit, and I’m fucking up her life, and she’d be better off without me, but I won’t let her go. For all my talk of wanting her to be better than me, I’m the one fucking her up! I’m too weak and selfish and scared to just tell her to leave, because I don’t know what I would do without her.” She laughed sort of hysterically. “So, like, who the fuck am I to judge how she handles her sister? Fuck, am I crying?” She wiped her face, trying to pretend that it never happened. “Fuck me.”

Remorse feels like someone took a rock and slipped it right behind your heart. It’s solid, hard and unmoving. I had a lot of it right then. While I still think it was the right thing to do, I felt bad that I had to get Scootaloo involved. Given how much Dash cared about her, it’s really no surprise that she attacked Thunderlane.

“Dash… You didn’t kill Thunderlane,” I said. I could feel her eyes draw themselves to the side of my face. “He survived the shot. I killed him after you left.”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s dead because of me, so I killed him.”

She would remain firm on that subject every time I spoke to her about it afterwards. There was no changing her mind; Putting him in the situation was just as bad as pulling the trigger, as far as Dash was concerned. She had some interesting morals, Rainbow Dash. I think that’s one of the reasons I invited her to the Crew, and to the desert with me. She was extremely interesting to me.

We drove for nearly half an hour, pulling to a stop in the middle of nowhere. I hopped to the back, returning with a GPS and two shovels. Dash uneasily accepted one, and stepped out of the van. I followed her example, then led the way out and a few yards away. I started to dig.

“What are we doing?” asked Dash.

“I’m expecting a care package of sorts,” I explained. “We need to bury it. Feel free to jump in whenever you like.” With a shrug, Rainbow took her shovel and assisted with my digging.

“So, how are you adjusting?” asked Dash.

“Adjusted. I’m already over it.”

“Yeah, except you’re not. That was your brother, man.”

“So it was. But he’s fine,” I said, gripping my shovel tighter. “I mean, he hates my guts now and I’ll never be able to really see him again, and he’ll be on my ass like white on rice, and my two best friends stabbed me in the back and ruined everything!” I didn’t realize it, but I started shouting. “But I’m over it.”

“Look, I don’t know her, but I do know you,” said Dash. “And anyone who’s known you for any decent amount of time should know that you’re not to be fucked with. So, for someone to have fucked with you, they must’ve had a real good reason.”

“I was going to break her out, Dash. A good six, seven months, and she was free!” I stabbed the ground angrily with my shovel. “My best friends… I should’ve learned from Starswirl. You can’t trust anybody.”

“You can trust Spike.” Dash stuck her shovel in the sand. “And you can trust me. Fuck everyone else, because you have us.” I gave Dash a warm smile, then resumed my digging. Dash decided that she said her bit and joined right back with me. She didn’t realize how important that moment was, and I couldn’t really blame her for that.

A few minutes later, when the hole was all but dug, a car approached. A black pick-up truck that pulled to a stop a few yards from me. I pulled myself out of the hole just in time for the door to swing open.

“Y’know, I’ve been set up more times than I care to admit,” said Rift as he stepped out of the truck. “And being invited to the middle of nowhere with no witnesses and a very grave-like hole… That’s basically a set-up shopping list.”

“Good to see you. Did you bring my stuff?” I asked. He reached into the back and tossed me two duffel bags.

“Didn’t take a cent, I swear,” he said, holding up an open palm. “Scout’s honor.”

“I believe you. There’s not much to steal, anyway,” I said. I unzipped one bag and gave the money inside a quick count. “Three grand here and…” I unzipped the second bag, and immediately closed it when I saw the $1,500 worth of cocaine. The stuff I stole from Dash after our first job.

“Is that… Give it here,” asked Dash. She didn’t recognize it. She probably didn’t even think about where it could have come from.

“No. We can sell this,” I said weakly.

“Unlikely,” said Rift. “Given your, uh… situation, I don’t think selling it would make a lot of sense, financially. Who are you gonna get to move that much? It’s not a whole lot, but it’s enough.”

“I… We’ll divy this up later,” I said. I threw the bag with the money into the pit. “Now, what I say to you next cannot leave this desert. Is that understood, Ms. Dash? Mr. Rift?”

“Sure thing, Dusey,” said Rift with a smirk.

“I can keep a secret,” promised Dash. I nodded. Then, I told them my plan.

My plan was to set up a new safe house somewhere north of Appleloosa, but south of Canterlot. Ponyville was on my mind, but I was open to suggestions. I planned to do this by doing additional jobs with Rift to gain extra money, off the books. Money that Spike and Rarity would remain clueless about. We’d bring the extra funds here, and move only when we have enough. At that point, I would tell Spike what I intended to do. If he was in, we move accordingly. If he wasn’t… Dash and I would leave him behind.

“Wow, Boss,” said Dash, after I gave her the run-down. “That’s fucked up…”

“Listen, Spike loves that woman. He only left her because of me. He deserves better than that,” I said. “So I wanna give him the chance. I’m really hoping he picks her over me this time.” I didn’t mention how uncomfortable Rarity made me, or how much I despised her. It didn’t strike me as relevant. “So… Are you in?”

“Look, Dusey, I’m in it to win it,” said Rift. “But you sure about this? Are you thinking straight?”

“Why do you do the things you do?” I asked. Not missing a beat, Rift broke into a small, almost nervous grin.

“The usual reasons. Money and power and sex and drugs and rock & roll.” I glared at him, at which point his smile fell. “My wife. She makes me happy, so I gotta do what I gotta do to make her happy.”

“I love Spike like my own flesh and blood,” I said. “I want him to be happy. Maybe the best way for him to find happiness is to leave the Crew.” I began covering the loot bag with sand. “It’ll be completely his choice, of course. I just want to be prepared in case he says no, so we can leave as soon as possible.”

“I’m in,” said Dash quietly. “Living with romance, drama, and two alpha dog pack leaders is gonna get real fucking rough, real fucking fast.” Rift threw his hands up in surrender.

“Well, I guess that settles it,” he said. “What’s our first job?”

Babysitting Duty

“This is weird.”

“Doesn’t have to be.”

“But it is.”

“Only because you’re letting it be.”

In defense of Scootaloo, it was kind of weird. Part of me wished I would’ve found something for myself to do while Spike and Rarity were out. Instead, I kept my mouth shut and got roped into babysitting duty. Worse still, I sent Dash and Rift off on a job pushing over a small bank a few towns over. I felt a bit nervous, sending Dash on her first job that wasn’t under my supervision. I probably shouldn’t have worried. She was smart enough to know the basics by now.

Scootaloo and I were sitting across from one another, playing chess while Sweetie Belle showered. Scootaloo was surprisingly decent. Better than Dash, but still not as good as Spike, and nowhere near good enough for me. Still, she insisted we do something since I refused to go to the arcade with them (and Rainbow made me swear not to let her out of my sight).

“It’s weird,” repeated Scootaloo. “You’re my big sister’s boss, and we’re playing chess.” She moved her golden rook over. “Check.”

“Don’t think of me as Dash’s boss,” I said, capturing her rook with a glistening platinum bishop. “Think of me as a family friend.”

“But you’re not. You’re Rainbow’s boss.”

I sighed. She was right. This was awkward.

“Well, maybe we should stop talking to each other like we don’t know each other,” I said. “How long have we lived under the same roof? A few months? We’re basically friends already.”

“Yeah… Sure.”

“Okay, look. There’s a few ways you could look at me. You could see me as Dash’s boss. You could see me as her close friend.” I correctly predicted that she would capture my queen with a knight, which I then captured with a rook that put her in check. “Or, you could see me as Dash’s teacher. But, right now, Rainbow isn’t here. So just talk to me like you talk to her.”

Scootaloo shrugged, then blocked check by moving her other knight. Sloppy move.

“Whatever. Where is Rainbow, anyway?” she asked. I shrugged.

“I dunno, she’s not my kid. Probably exploring this dusty old craphole,” I said. Scootaloo chuckled, which certainly made me more comfortable. “Anyway… How do you like it here?”

“It’s fine. I was kinda… Scared, I guess. That everything would be all weird and fucked up.” She looked over her shoulder for a second, no doubt looking for Dash. “And it is, y’know? But it’s not so bad. I still have Rainbow. Plus, at least there’s someone actually my age.”

“What do you think of her?” I asked. I pointlessly moved a pawn forward. Had to make it at least a little hard for myself. “Are you getting along?”

“Uh… Sure. She’s kinda weird. More bubbly and sunshine-y than people I normally hang with,” said Scootaloo quietly. “But she’s fun. Naive, but in a cute kinda way.”

The girl didn’t pick up on how creepy and potentially dangerous Sweetie could be. Not altogether surprising, but still vaguely annoying. Sometimes, it was annoying to be the smartest person in the room.

“That’s good,” I said.

“EEP!”

I jumped up from the table, instinctively reaching for my gun. I took a few steps toward the bathroom, the source of the scream, but was stopped in my tracks when the bathroom door burst open. Sweetie Belle stepped out of the bathroom dripping wet and naked, save for her towel. She held up that towel with one hand, the other one delegated to clutching a kicking, thrashing, snarling raccoon by the throat.

“What in the world?” I said. Sweetie grinned.

“He jumped in my shower!” She spoke with the excitement of a soccer fan during the World Cup. “Little guys like him sneak in sometimes.”

“What’re you gonna do with it?” asked Scootaloo.

“Kill it. Duh.” Sweetie’s eyes glistened with anticipation, much like her big sister. “Gimme a knife.”

Scootaloo shot me a look that screamed for help; help that I wasn’t able to give her. For a few seconds, it was silent, save for the snarling of the possibly rabid raccoon that Sweetie held. Then, quietly, Scootaloo got up, walked over to the kitchen area, and returned with a small vegetable knife. She handed it to Sweetie Belle.

Sweetie started by slicing off its little paws. The poor creature screamed, which was actually rather sickening. I didn’t exactly have a weak stomach, but this girl was fifteen years old and killing an animal just for the fun of it.

“Do you really have to do that?” asked Scootaloo. Sweetie either didn’t hear her or didn’t care. She was too busy pinning the raccoon to the floor to split it down the chest. She stabbed it, then stabbed it again, and then stabbed it a third time. It gave me flashbacks to what Rarity did to Fancy Pants. It was an unnecessary, horrific, gratuitous amount of violence and anger.

Sweetie Belle giggled almost the whole time.

“I gotta… Gotta hit the bathroom,” said Scootaloo after the first two minutes of pointless stabbing. The girl stumbled into the bathroom, haphazardly slamming it shut behind her. I hardly heard her retching over the sound of Sweetie screaming.

“Die! Die! Die!”

It was at that moment when something occurred to me. The way Sweetie handled the raccoon, the way she stabbed it, the way she shouted, it all felt too familiar. She was a spitting image of Rarity, down to the intimidating look. It was as if Sweetie studied Fancy’s murder. Which wasn’t possible, considering Rarity got rid of the recording after she sent it to the client. Unless, of course, she kept it.

Why would she do something like that?

“Whoo, that was fun!” said Sweetie, wiping the sweat from her forehead. Again, she carried herself like Rarity so much that it was almost spooky. “Hey, do you know when Big Sis is supposed to be back?”

That was something peculiar about Sweetie. She never called Rarity by name. Always Big Sis or Widow, or, when talking directly to Rarity, just ma’am. It was strange. Sweetie claimed it was out of respect, but I wasn’t so sure. Rarity, the brainwasher she is, may have had her own, more nefarious reasons.

“I’m not sure,” I said, eyeing the massive splatter of blood across the floor. “Spike said he would be grabbing some pizza for dinner on the way back, so I assume they’ll be gone for a while.”

“Great! Means I have time to clean this up,” laughed Sweetie. She looked down at her bloody towel, and the blood that now coated her chest. “And take another shower. Oh, well. Big Sis says that if you don’t get into your work, you’ll never have any fun with it. Do you think I got into it?”

“I’d say,” I muttered.

“Thanks, Ms. Twilight! I better go get this mess cleaned up before Big Sis gets home.” Sweetie grinned, then scooped up one of the raccoon’s paws. She clutched it tightly, then disappeared into her room. I looked to the chessboard, my game forgotten. After glancing at it a moment, I moved my rook to capture Scootaloo’s knight and put her in mate. I tipped her king, then headed for the ladder to the surface.

“Scootaloo, Sweetie, don’t go anywhere,” I called. “I need a smoke break.”

“Are you fucking serious?” asked Dash.

“You think I would make that up?” I whispered into my phone. I constantly looked over my shoulder to make sure that Rarity Lite wasn’t climbing up the ladder with another rodent to butcher. “I’m telling you, that girl is crazy. I’m starting to doubt whether I should be worrying more about Rarity or her.”

“Jesus fuck… We need to get the hell out of there as soon as possible,” said Dash. “Is Squirt okay?”

“Yeah. A bit shaken up, but she’s okay.” I tapped my phone twice with my finger out of nerves. “Anyway, how are you and Rift doing?”

“He keeps asking me when we’re gonna give him a mask and a codename.” Dash chuckled. “So he’s still an asshole.The bank went so well that we’re thinking about hitting another one. We might stay out till tomorrow or the day after. That cool?”

“Just don’t get caught and make sure you put the loot in the pit,” I said. “Behave yourself, Ms. Dash. I gotta go.”

I hung up my phone, then took a long, much-needed drag of my cigarette. This was so tiring and stressful… I needed to figure out what was up with Sweetie Belle. I needed to understand how her mind worked. I needed to figure out how her sister’s mind worked. I needed to find out if Rarity actually did keep the tape, and why.

“Son of a…” I muttered. I hated when I forgot things. I sent out a text to Dash, typing as quickly as my fingers would move.

Put a hold on that second job. I need you back home to look for something.

What I really needed, more than anything, was a drink.

Author's Note

Hey, everybody. Sorry about the shorter chapter this time around. Don't worry, though, this won't become a regular thing. Just a bit less to go over this time around.

Now, for the real reason this note is here: The next chapter. See, I wanted to do something, but now I can't decide if I want to do it. I wanted to implement Applejack in the next chapter, and I think I have a decent way to do it. But what do y'all think? I made a Strawpoll, so you guys can tell me what you think.

Thanks for reading, and see you next time!

Checkmate

“So, what’s the occasion?”

“Who says there needs to be an occasion?”

“It’s unlike you to just go out for a drink when there’s work to do.”

“Things have been… Rough lately. I think the two of us could do with some relaxation.”

I sat across from Spike in a dusty, musty, grimy saloon. Not a bar. A saloon. The day was winding down, which meant Appleloosa’s scum was was coming out. Spike and I had left Rainbow and Rarity at the safehouse to watch the kids (and to do some reconnaissance, in Dash’s case). Even though we had only been gone for a few minutes, I’d already texted Dash twice. She told me to calm down, that she would report anything she found important, and to enjoy myself.

“You could say that again,” groaned Spike. “This whole thing has been a pain in the neck.”

“It’s nice to just sit back and drink our troubles away,” I said, raising my whiskey in a toast.

“Here, here!” Spike met my toast, taking a sip of his bourbon. “So… What’s your mind like?”

“I wish you guys would stop worrying about me,” I sighed. “I’m fine. Really. I mean, I was scared for him, but he’s doing fine now. Your aim was perfect.”

“I’m glad you’re living with that.” Spike flitted his tongue out, his emerald eyes scanning my face for emotion. “But that’s not what I was talking about. I meant Moonie.”

I tried not to think about her, but it was becoming harder and harder. I don’t think I can understate how important loyalty was to me. If I didn’t have people I could depend on, my Crew fell apart. I thought Moondancer and Lyra were those loyal, dependable people. I was wrong.

“Nothing I can do about them,” I said. That wasn’t exactly the truth, but it also wasn’t quite a lie. “I just can’t believe they did that. After all we’ve been through together… Threw us to the wolves.”

“Come on, Twi. Try to be a bit more understanding,” said Spike. “They were locked up for a long time, and they hadn’t heard a word from us. Of course they were jumpy.” Spike polished off his drink. “And knock it off with the ‘they’. All we know for sure is that Moonie squealed. Lyra might’ve stood quiet.”

I had serious doubts about that. If Shining was able to break Moondancer enough for her to sell me out, then Lyra stood no chance. I was confident that Lyra betrayed me. The both of them were untrustworthy, undependable, cowardly back-stabbers.

As you can no doubt tell, I was quite bitter.

“If you say so,” I said, keeping my suspicions to myself. “So, how’re things with you and her?”

“Hm?” Spike seemed genuinely confused for a second, only understanding when I made a little heart with my hands. “Oh. Well, y’know, Widow is Widow. Haven’t seen her in years, but she’s the same girl.”

“I’m sure. The more things change, the more they stay the same,” I said, trying to gauge how Spike really felt. For some reason, he seemed very guarded about showing his hand where Rarity was concerned. “I hope things aren’t too awkward between you, considering.” Spike just sort shrugged.

“I wish she didn’t flirt so damn much,” he groaned. “It’s giving me flashbacks.”

“To bad times?”

“The best times. She makes me feel like a kid reading a report in front of class.” Spike tried to drink some more bourbon, realizing too late that his cup was empty. “Just thinking about her is kinda nerve-racking. One of the things I liked about her. She terrified me, but I just couldn’t get enough. I was addicted.”

“Any of that addiction left?” I asked. Spike peered at me suspiciously.

“What exactly are you asking me?” he asked.

“Just… You know. Do you still have any feelings for her?” Spike raised an eyebrow. “Look, I’m only asking because I care about you and I want you to be happy.”

“I am happy.” Spike was normally a decent enough liar, unless he was talking to me. I saw through him as if he were made of glass, something I’m quite sure he was aware of.

“Spike… Are you in any way interested in getting back together with Rarity?” I asked him, plain and simple. Spike looked just about everywhere but directly at me, and I noticed a bit of blush on his cheeks.

“Twi… I already said, it won’t work. Our jobs are too dangerous. We can’t be together if we’re both criminals,” said Spike sullenly. “Besides, she won’t leave Appleloosa, and I can’t expect you to make this place your new home. It’s fucked up, yeah, but Widow and I are cool with it. We split on good terms, so there’s no point in making things weird with hypotheticals like that.”

“Spike… What if you left the Crew?” I asked. Spike jerked up, his shock evidently etched onto his face. “Just thinking out loud. You’ve said that Mythos made you happy, but that was before. Maybe the best thing for you is to leave it behind.”

“Are you firing me?”

“God, no. I just mean…” I sighed. I really didn’t want to say this. I was afraid that he might listen, and terrified that he might not. I was in a bad place regardless. “Buddy, I’m with you to the end, okay? No matter what you choose to do, I’ll support you. I’m just giving you options, because I know you think you don’t have any. You have choices.”

I finished off my drink, letting the silence fester for a bit. He didn’t need to answer right now. In fact, I was hoping he wouldn’t. So, we just sat there in silence for almost a full minute before I asked him a question I’ve been wondering about since I found out about Rarity.

“So, how’d you two meet?” I asked. Spike chuckled nervously, his blush intensifying.

“It’s not romantic,” he warned me.

“Never been a fan of romance.” Spike nodded, then let out a long, tired, exasperated sigh.

“I went into a bar and I drank. I drank a lot,” he said. “I drank probably more than I’ve ever drank in my life. I was absolutely plastered. When folks down here see a dragon, they already get kinda nervous. When they see one getting shit-faced? I had half the bar to myself. Then, all of a sudden, this beautiful woman crosses the shitty bar I was at and sits next to me.”

“She didn’t want you to be alone?” I asked. That was kind of sweet.

“Nah. She was just curious about what it was like to hook up with a dragon,” laughed Spike. “And I was too drunk to tell her that the answer is ‘not great’. So, we, uh…”

“Spike, you are veering into TMI territory…”

“Anyway, we had a long, sweaty night that she swears didn’t hurt nearly as bad as she thought,” said Spike, ignoring my protests. “Then, I left. Never even learned her name.”

“The first time you met your future wife…” I said slowly. “Was a one-night stand.”

“That about sums it up, yeah.”

There was more to the story, I’m sure. I was also sure that it was just as gross as the start. I never got to hear it because of the arrival of a third party.

She grinned widely at the two of us, setting down a tray of beers at our table. She pulled down on her brown leather vest, dusted off her jeans, then took a seat next to Spike. Then, the mysterious guest took her hat from her head and set it on the table, revealing her long, dirty blonde hair. My eyes drifted from her own, which were bright green, down to the golden badge on her chest.

I was a bit nervous.

“Howdy, Spike,” she said, her voice heavy with that supposedly charming Appleloosan accent. “Been lookin for ya. How y’all doin?”

“We’ve been fine. These for us?” asked Spike. The woman nodded, then slid the tall, foamy glasses over to each of us. “Thanks. Oh, by the way, this is the friend I was telling you about. Twilight.” The woman extended her hand to me, which I cautiously took into my own.

“How do ya do, Ms. Twilight? Ah’m Applejack,” she said. “Folks call me AJ. Ah’m the sheriff ‘round these parts. Now, you don’t cause any trouble in my town, then we good. But, if you the type to make a ruckus, then we gonna have ourselves a problem on our hands.”

I froze for a second, something I’m sure she picked up on. She busted out an even wider grin before descending into deep, hearty laughter.

“Ah’m just fuckin with ya, Sugarcube. Ah heard Spike was comin down to avoid some heat up north. Somethin about you shootin yer brother?” She took a swig of her beer. “As long as yer on mah side, I don’t give a damn what you did, by the way.”

“For the record… We didn’t want to kill him,” whispered Spike. “I was actually really afraid for a bit, but it looks like he’ll be okay.”

“Hm. Ah reckon yer right. Ah met Shining once, when he was down here trying to clean up the cartel,” said Applejack. “Took down almost a fourth of the family by hisself. Son of a bitch was tougher than a $2 steak.”

“The cartel still a problem?” I asked. Applejack snorted, then sipped her beer.

“They better fucking be, all the money Ah’m payin em.”

“You have a reason for coming here?” asked Spike. “Or are you just here for a drink?” Applejack smirked, then returned her hat to her head.

“Just wanted to let y’all know that Ah got some work lined up for ya. Some gold bars and sugar Ah need y’all to lift for me. Can ya handle that?” she asked. Spike nodded. “Good, good. A truck will be rolling through town next week. You know what to do. Try not to make a mess, ya hear?”

“Yes, ma’am,” said Spike. “Where do you want it when we get it?”

“Ah’ll put you in touch with one of mah people in the family,” said Applejack. “We’ll work out rates later. Y’all know Ah’m good for it. Ah believe in an honest day’s pay for an honest day’s work.”

“In what world is grand larceny honest?” I really didn’t mean to say it out loud, but I did. Surprisingly, Applejack just laughed.

“Heh. Ah’ve had this job so long, Ah reckon Ah wouldn’t know an honest day’s work if it bit me on the tit,” she said. She grabbed up her beer and stood up. “Anyway, enjoy yerselves. Ah hope we get right along, Ms. Twilight.”

“As do I.”

“Oh, and Ms. Twilight? Ah need a favor from ya.” Applejack’s demeanor shifted. She wasn’t quite as happy-go-lucky or goodnatured. She was grim. “Ah don’t know what channels you have connections with, but you seem like the type of lady to know. Ah’m looking for a girl that calls herself Widow.”

I tried not to look directly at Spike. I waited a tick for him to speak and, when he didn’t, I went to work trying to find a decent response.

“Uh… Who is she?” I asked. “Why are you looking for her.”

“She’s a serial killer. Been killing young girls, nineteen to twenty-seven, for a couple of years,” explained Applejack. “Mah sister being one of her victims.”

“Jesus… I’m sorry.”

“Ah’m sure you are. Not near as sorry as Widow will be when Ah get mah hands on her though.” Applejack pulled the brim of her hat down. “If you happen to find anyone like that with yer connections with the scum of this town, point me in her direction. Don’t get my office involved. Ah wanna kill the bitch mahself.”

And, just as quickly as she arrived, she was gone. I looked at Spike, who was sipping his beer as if nothing ever happened.

“What?” he asked.

“Did she really kill the sheriff’s sister?” I whispered.

“Of course not. Don’t be ridiculous.”

“How can you be so sure?” My eyes scanned the room, searching in case Sheriff AJ came back. “The woman kills for money, maybe she—”

“Enough. She didn’t do it,” said Spike, his voice like stone. “This isn’t the first time AJ’s sister has come up. I’ve asked her more than once, and I don’t think she’d lie to me. Rarity did not kill that girl. That’s all there is to say.”

Spike really trusted Rarity. I wasn’t sure if that was good or bad just yet. I decided not to push it for now, because it didn’t matter at the moment. It wasn’t like I was about to give Rarity to the wolves. Sure, she might be a bit aggressive and easily-provoked. Of course, there was also the fact that she apparently hated me. Not to mention the psychopath little sister that’ll stab me just as soon as look at me and who would definitely kill me if I crossed her sister in any way, shape or form.

If I wasn’t convinced that Spike was in love with this woman, AJ would be at the piano right now.

Doesnt like peeple in her room

Besides being a disgusting representation of the English language, it was also the message I got from Dash about halfway into my little bar adventure with Spike. I made note of it as we retired to the hideout. Despite being totally sober, Spike turned in early. He said that he wanted to take Rarity out around town tomorrow, and he wanted to be well-rested.

The dark living room area was all but deserted, save for Dash. She said nothing as she rose from her seat, pantomimed a yawn, then pointed to Rarity’s bedroom slightly-ajar bedroom. Then, she disappeared into the room that she shared with Scootaloo and presumably called it a night. My attention drifted to the door of Rarity’s room, and I took a moment to compose myself before pushing it open all the way and stepping inside.

She slept with her mask on. Somehow, while entirely vulnerable in her sleep, she still managed to give off a predatory air. Even as she slept, she was hunting. Besides her bed in the middle of the room, there was a dresser to the right of the door, with a large mirror sitting on top. There were also various nick-nacks and personal items on the dresser. Overall, she kept a neat room. Her closet, from what I could see, was neat, orderly, and extravagant. Hanging over her bed was a very nice, all black sniper rifle, it’s barrel exquisitely cleaned and shined. There wasn’t a speck of dust in the entire room. The only mess seemed to be that dresser.

I looked it over, digging through the rings and necklaces in search of something interesting. She seemed to have a knife addiction, because I found six or seven amongst that mess. Almost sliced my finger on a particularly large and sharp model. Then, just when I was about to give up, I found the box. It was a little black jewelry box that was so ordinary, I almost overlooked it. But, I had to ask myself: Why would she have all this jewelry on the dresser if there was a box right there for it?

I popped it open, revealing six .30 caliber sniper rounds. I carefully picked one up, turning it over in my hand. The bottom was inset with a perfect white diamond, though I couldn’t possibly think of any reason for it other than for looks. It didn’t make much sense to me, but even I had to admit that there was something strangely beautiful about it. I was so focused with the bullet that I hardly heard the cock of a gun behind me.

“You are very lucky I look before I shoot,” said Rarity. I looked up to see her in the mirror, sitting up in bed and pointing a handgun at the back of my head. I slowly lowered the bullet and placed it back in its place.

“Don’t mind me,” I said, as calmly as I could. “I’m just a bit of a night owl.”

“I don’t take very kindly to trespassers, darling.” Rarity never lowered her gun. “It’s rude to enter a lady’s room without invitation. What are you doing here?” I risked turning, but she luckily kept her finger off the trigger.

“This is embarrassing… I was going to snap a picture of your mask, to copy your pattern,” I said, scratching the back of my head sheepishly. “I was thinking about making my own half-mask sort of like yours. Guess I got distracted.” It wasn’t entirely a lie. I really did like her pattern, and I did consider stealing it. I just didn’t need a picture for that.

“You really should have asked,” said Rarity. After a very tense few seconds, she dropped her gun to the bed and pulled off her mask. “I don’t allow people into my room. Not even Sweetie Belle.”

“Why?”

“It’s just the way I like things, I’m afraid. Now, if you don’t mind terribly… Please leave.” Her voice leaked kindness that was absent from her face. I nodded almost timidly, then headed for the door.

“Sorry for waking you. It won’t happen again,” I said. Rarity sighed, then stood up. Beneath her blanket, she wore a fluffy pink bathrobe. She slipped into matching slippers, then crossed to meet me.

“I always get snacky at this point in the night anyway,” said Rarity. “Do you intend on turning in? I’d like it if I had some company.”

“Like I said, I’m something of a night owl. I’d be happy to keep you company.”

Rarity stepped past me, heading for the kitchen. With a clap of her hands, the lights flickered on, which let her pick through her cabinets in search of some form of snack. Unsurprisingly, she returned with a bag of marshmallows.

“Close that door, if you don’t mind,” said Rarity. I did as I was told. “Hm… Chess?” She pointed to the board on the table, which was perfectly set and neat. “Mind you, I haven’t been any good in years, but maybe we can have a decent match.”

“I’m sure you’re just fine,” I said. “Let’s play.” She grinned, then took a seat on the side with platinum pieces. My side. I tried not to let on that I was bothered, and took a seat across from her. I moved my pawn forward.

“So, just where have you been all evening?” asked Rarity. She studied the board for a bit, then moved a pawn of her own. “Spike, too.”

“Spike and I went out for a drink or two,” I answered, moving my bishop forward. “After what happened with Shining, things have been kind of stressful. We thought we’d relax, like the good old days.”

“Yes. The good old days.”

She was so bitter. Angry about something I just couldn’t understand. She couldn’t possibly be mad at me for spending time with Spike, could she? We made it clear as crystal that there was nothing going on between us.

“I tried asking him about how you two met,” I said, deciding to probe for information. “He wouldn’t tell me. He seemed embarrassed? What happened?”

“Oh, Spikey’s such a charmer. He probably didn’t want to make it seem like anything special,” giggled Rarity. “I was at a bar, scouting a target, when he comes up to me and asks to buy me a drink and to take me out to dinner. I politely decline, but he’s insistent. Eventually, I raise my voice, and my target hears me. Apparently, he recognized my voice, and he shot at me!” She paused for a second, and gasping seemed like the thing to do, so I did. “Spike, a perfect stranger at the time, leapt in front of me!”

“He took the shot for you?” I asked. She nodded with a blushing grin.

“The target got away, but he saved my life! When I asked him why he would do such a thing, you know what he said?” She didn’t wait for me to answer. “He said ‘I can’t take you out if you’re dead’! So, after that, I couldn’t reasonably reject his advances. One date became two, and two became three, and the rest, as they say, is history.”

Hm. It seemed as if the two had conflicting accounts of the night, and I was more inclined to believe Spike.

“That’s amazing,” I said, pretending to swallow the manure she shoveled. “How long were you together before he proposed?”

“Only a few months, which sounds soon,” said Rarity, scarfing down a marshmallow. “But, we knew what we wanted, so we leapt for it.” She moved up her rook. “Obviously, things didn’t work out, but we weren’t to know. It was no one’s fault.” She glared at me for a fraction of a fraction of a second, making it clear who she gave the blame to.

“I’m sorry things between you two didn’t work,” I said, honestly. “You two both seem to truly love each other. I hope that you guys work something out.” Before she could work out what I meant, I changed the subject. “Have you met the sheriff?”

“Of course. Applejack is a close friend of mine,” answered Rarity. Somehow, I doubted that. “She doesn’t know I’m Widow, of course. She wouldn’t take kindly to that.”

“Because of the rumor?” Rarity froze, then a sinister grin spread across her face.

“Oh? And what rumor might that be?”

“The sheriff seems to think that… Well, it’s just a rumor,” I said. I moved another pawn. “I really shouldn’t spread gossip, especially in a town I don’t know.”

“Oh, but I do love some juicy gossip. Especially if it pertains to me. What rumor?”

“Applejack… She thinks you… She thinks you killed her sister,” I said, as if the very sentence pained me as it left my mouth. Rarity stared blankly for a moment. Then, she laughed.

“Oh, darling, you crack me up,” she said. “Absolutely hilarious! That’s no rumor, dear. It’s fact.” She pushed her knight forward. “Mate in four moves.”

“You… you killed her sister?” I asked. I wasn't shocked by the fact that she killed the sheriff’s sister, but by the fact that she admitted it so openly. “But Spike said you didn’t.”

“Spike’s only trying to protect me. But, as he should know by now…” She popped a marshmallow in her mouth and savagely squished it with her teeth. “I don’t need protection. Still, his heart is in the right place.”

“Why?” I asked. My hand pushed my pawn forward almost of its own accord. “Why kill her?” That look was back, the one that so unnerved me at Fancy’s house, but it was slightly different. Before, it was raw and angry. Now, it was amused. Perhaps even sentimental.

“She tried to take something that which did not belong to her,” answered Rarity, moving her queen. “Mate in three moves. She tried to steal from me, so I killed her. Would you like to hear how?”

“Er…”

“I started by sedating her and chopping off her hands and feet, so she couldn’t try to escape. Then, when she woke up, I slowly began to scrape off her skin.” She grinned that horrible, twisted, disgusting grin again. “Then, when she begged for me to stop, I slowly lowered weights onto her arms until they shattered. She screamed a lot, cried herself to sleep every night. I kept her alive, sure, but she hated every second of it. The food I fed her always had just a dash of her own blood in it. After about a week, when she stopped screaming, stopped crying, when she simply just begged me to finally let her die…”Suddenly, her humor vanished, replaced by fury. “I punched every one of her perfect fucking teeth down her throat! I actually got one of her teeth stuck in my hand. Look, there’s still the scar!” She shoved her fist into my view, and I could make out a small, jagged scar on her knuckle. I swallowed what felt like my heart, then made my move. I don’t even remember what piece, I was so focused on Rarity.

“So, when her teeth were embedded in her throat, I stepped on her face so that my heels went through her eyes. Mate in two moves. I cut off her head, but not before I pulled all her teeth out of her. I still have them in my room some place. Then, you know what I did?” Again, she gave me no opportunity to answer. “I sent her head to the sheriff with my deepest condolences. I was there when she opened the box. Lost her lunch all over the floor, absolutely horrified at what I did!”

“Jesus…” I really had nothing to say to that. This woman, if you could even call her that… She was dangerous. Far more scary than I originally thought. I needed to be gone, soon. I moved… I think it was my rook, and I moved it over to the right.

“And you know what’s funny? I’d do it again. Oh, I’d do it so many times over if I had to,” said Rarity, moving her queen. “Off with their heads, I say! Mate in one move. Oh, but yes, I’d do it over, and over, and over again.”

“Would you really?” I asked. I’d hardly been paying attention to her predictions of the game, mostly just trying to stay alive. I moved my knight in an attempt to guard my king from the threat I couldn’t even see yet.

“I’ll kill any young, arrogant, stupid, selfish, thieving cunt who ever tried to take what’s mine!” she shouted. She captured my knight with her queen, then tipped my king. “And don’t you forget it, Ms. Sparkle.”

We locked eyes for a moment, neither of us backing down for a bit. Then, slowly, I backed down, shrinking into myself. She won.

“What are you trying to say?” I asked. Rarity smiled as if what just happened didn’t actually occur.

“Just giving you fair warning, darling. I doubt you’ll need it, though,” she said brightly. “You’re a smart girl. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision.” She looked down at the board, almost as if surprised to see that she had won. “I do believe that is checkmate, darling. Good match, we really must play again soon.” She yawned into her hand. “And I hate to be rude, but I really must get some sleep. My Spikey is taking me out tomorrow, and I can’t look my best without my beauty sleep.”

She rose from her seat, still clutching her snacks, and disappeared into her room. I sat, frozen in place, unable to come to grips with what just happened. Rarity had beaten me in more than just chess. Her mind games left me almost unable to breathe. I feel no shame in saying that I was absolutely terrified of the woman.

My phone vibrated, and I flipped it open to check the message.

WTF happened???

I looked down at Dash’s text for a bit before hastily typing out reply.

We need to get the hell out of here.

Widow's Web

“And that makes fifty.”

“Before or after your cut?”

“Oh, yes, my apologies. How could I possibly have forgotten to pay myself?”

“You know, sarcasm is considered the lowest form of wit.”

I helped Rift to sling our money bags into the pit, silently keeping track of how much money we had. This was a massive pull compared to what Rift brought to the desert with him, but downright tiny relative to our jobs up north. $3,000 from my Canterlot dead drops, plus $10,000 from Rift and Dash’s adventure alone, and now another $50,000 from today. $63,000 was a decent chunk of change, but wasn’t nearly enough for what we needed done.

“Ah, but the highest form of intelligence,” said Rift, bowing his head sagely. I rolled my eyes before attempting to dust the red sand from my pants. Rfit glanced over to his truck, in which Rainbow lay tiredly. “Dash! Get your ass in gear, come on!”

“Bite me, Rift!” came Rainbow’s curt reply, though she did roll out eventually. She yawned into her hand, then grabbed a shovel and helped us bury the money. We did this silently for a bit before I realized that Dash was basically falling asleep, leaning on her shovel for support.

“You okay?” I asked.

“Sorry. Tired. Haven’t slept since… Well, since the other day,” yawned Rainbow. “Honestly, I don’t know how you’ve been sleeping, after hearing that shit.”

“Truth be told, I haven’t been. I just work well under pressure.”

“Wait, what’s this shit that’s being heard?” asked Rift. “Who’s keeping you up?”

I glanced at Rainbow, trying to decide if she was up to tell the story. The look on her face screamed “no”, so I told Rift all about my chess game with Rarity. His jaw had dropped for about the entire performance

“She basically threatened me,” I said. I shook my head. “No, no, she literally threatened me. And she meant it. You could see it in her eyes, she meant every word.”

“So… We’re gonna kill her,” said Rift. “Right?”

“Wrong. She’s my best friend’s wife. Spike will hate me forever.”

“Hey, my best friend fucked my wife, and I don’t hate him.” Rift pressed his lips together in thought. “Well, I don’t hate him because he fucked my wife. Well, not just because he fucked my wife.” He shook his head. “Look, the point I’m trying to get at is that Spike’s your best friend, and if you have a good reason for doing what you gotta do, he’ll forgive you.”

“I’m not killing Rarity,” I said. I was firm on that stance. “We have a plan, and that plan changes for nothing.”

“Hey, you’re the boss,” said Rift.

“I know.”

“But, if you would let me finish, being the boss doesn’t mean you’re invincible.” For probably the first time since I met him, Rift wasn’t grinning or joking. He was serious. “Twilight, if you don’t make the first move, she’s going to kill you.”

“I thought I made myself perfectly clear,” I said. “This is the first move. And it will be the last move. I appreciate your advice, but I didn’t ask for it. So, if you really want to help, which I assume is why you’re out here, get to digging.”

My phone rang, which immediately ended my debate with Rift. It was from my personal phone, which meant it could only be one person calling me. I answered the phone and put it to my ears.

“Hey, Twi,” said Spike, his voice barely higher than a whisper.

“How’s it going, bud?” I tried to seem as if everything was fine, but anyone who spoke to me should’ve been able to tell that it wasn’t. Spike ignored it, thankfully, which made everything much simpler.

“I’ve been thinking. About what you said at the bar,” he said.

“Mm-hm…”

“And, you know… If you’re serious… I wanna take you up on it.”

I had known it was coming. I had hoped it was coming. Even still, I felt my heart drop into my stomach when Spike told me the news. This was probably the best thing for everyone, and yet, I selfishly hoped that my little brother would stay by my side.

“That’s… That’s really good. I wish you the best.” That was by no means a lie. Though his woman was a murdering psychopath, she was still his woman. “I’m going to miss you, though.”

“I’ll miss you, too. A lot. We’ve been through so much together.”

“You’re telling me. I wouldn’t have gotten as far as I did if it weren’t for you.” I waved Rift and Dash away, their silent stares starting to unnerve me. “Have you told Rarity yet?”

“No. I only just now decided. We’re out to lunch, and she had to freshen up,” said Spike. He laughed nervously. “Whatever the hell that means.”

“You better tell her. She’s going to freak out.”

“I know, right? Oh, here she comes now. Gotta go.” He paused for a moment. “I love you, Twi.” I chuckled lightly.

“I love you, too, buddy.” I closed my phone and slipped it into my pocket, trembling slightly. He really was gone. Which meant we needed to move quickly.

“What happened?” asked Rift. I sighed.

“He picked her over me.”

“Wasn’t that the plan?” asked Dash. I nodded. “Still sucks though, right?” Again, I nodded. “Damn. Sorry, Boss.”

“Don’t be. Like you said, that was the plan. I knew it’d be unpleasant either way,” I said. “Let’s deal with this money, then—”

My phone rang again, my burner. Angrily, I flipped it open and put it to my ear.

“Whoever this is better make it damn quick,” I snarled. “What do you want?!”

“Howdy, Ms. Twilight.” The sheriff sounded a bit concerned. “Uh… Is this a bad time?”

“Oh, no, no, I’m sorry. I forgot you would be contacting me,” I said, honestly. “I’m… Sorry, don’t worry about it. What can I do for you?”

“That truck Ah was talking to you about. The one that got delayed,” she said. “It’ll be here in forty minutes. Can y’all handle it?”

“Er… Yes, of course. I’ll be there as soon as possible.” I swore under my breath, trying to get all the parts to this plan in order. Spike was out, Dash and Rift would be casing another bank, so it was all up to me. I could push over an armored truck by myself, of course, but it wouldn’t be easy. “I hate to be rude, but what can I expect to be paid for this? I wouldn’t normally ask, but these are some extraneous circumstances.”

“Nah, Ah understand. Ah was thinking 40/60 in yer favor. Ah don’t mind taking a smaller cut to help y’all get on yer feet.”

“That’s very generous of you. Thank you. We won’t forget your kindness,” I said.

“Ah ain’t being nice. Just caring for those who’ll care for me,” said Applejack. “Call me when y’all got the goods, alright?”

“Yes, of course. I’ll be in touch.” I hung up my phone and slipped it back into my pocket, then groaned tiredly. “I need to hire more employees.”

“Don’t you need an office for that?” asked Rift.

“Shut up and get ready for the next job. I gotta go.” I headed for my van, waving as I left. “You two will be able to handle things, right?”

“Duh. I’ve been doing this a while, Boss,” said Dash. “Hey, Rift, stop off at the gas station, I need an energy drink.”

I unlocked my van and hopped in, closing the door behind me. In the passenger seat was my duffle bag, hardly used since our relocation. I unzipped it, then carefully lifted my mask. It seemed so unused. I could almost hear it whispering to me, begging me to slip it on and do what I do best. I grinned to myself, then sat my precious Gorgon onto the seat.

Spike has his woman. I have mine.

Hitting the truck wasn’t hard at all, but I still wished I had some help. All I really did was wait for the truck to hit a red, then slipped into the back. Then, I used my gun to coax the driver into maneuvering to an alley where my van was parked. I bound and gagged the driver and his co-driver, then moved the product. The cocaine was easy enough to pack away, but the gold was heavy. I got it in alright, then drove back to the music shop. There, I called the sheriff and waited. Within an hour, she arrived in her big, black pickup truck. She helped me load the loot, then, when I was secure in the passenger seat, she took off.

“My, you work fast, don’t ya?” chuckled Applejack.

“I’ve been doing this for a long time,” I answered. “I’ve gotten quite good at it, if I do say so myself.”

“Amen to that, sister. Ah imagine the two of us are gonna make a lot of money together.”

“Well… I don’t know how much longer I’ll be staying.” I pulled out a cigarette, sticking it in my mouth before I realized that this wasn’t my car. “Can I smoke in here?” She nodded, so I lit up. “My stay in Appleloosa will likely be coming to an end soon. My situation has changed.”

“That’s a darn shame. Ah could use your talents,” said Applejack. “But Ah get’cha. Moving on in your life and whatnot.”

For the third time that day, my phone rang. It was my personal phone, so I wasn’t so irritated. I grabbed it out of my pocket, holding onto it for a moment.

“Do I have time to take this?” I asked.

“Oh, yeah, these guys live in the middle of fucking nowhere.”

I nodded my appreciation, then answered the phone and put it to my ear.

“Hello?”

I was met with a long, loud, high-pitched shriek.

“Um… Rarity?” I asked, checking my ears for blood. “Is everything okay?”

“I just had to tell someone, darling! I’m so excited, I can hardly contain myself!” she squealed. “Spike and I have gotten back together! We’ll be getting remarried any day now!”

“That’s wonderful,” I said, trying to withhold any disgust and irritation that may have leaked through into my voice. “Spike was telling me what he planned to do, and I couldn’t wait to hear from you. I wish you—”

“W-what? He… He told you?” asked Rarity.

“Well, Spike tells me everything. He’s my best friend, and I’m technically his boss, so he wanted to ask if I was okay with him leaving the team. But, like I said, I’m happy for you two.”

“Ask if it was okay? But you would never forbid our relationship, would you?” Rarity laughed nervously. “You couldn’t.”

“Of course I wouldn’t. I can’t stand in the way of true love,” I promised her. I swear, I heard her mutter something about “last time”, but I can’t be absolutely certain.

“Oh. Of course not. My dear, we absolutely must celebrate!” Although she was clearly excited, there was a faint air of anger and resentment in her voice. She just couldn’t stop hating me if she tried. “Perhaps some wine?”

“Er… I’m sort of busy right now,” I said. “Working.”

“Hm? What sort of work?”

“The sheriff has set me up with something.” Applejack gestured for me to let her speak, so I put the phone on speaker.

“Howdy, Rarity,” said the sheriff. “Haven’t seen you in a bit. Ah reckon the family would love to see you ‘round the house for supper.”

“Oh, Applejack, it has been truly too long. Where have you been keeping yourself all this time?” Her tone shifted, but not to become more pleasant. She sounded almost mocking, in a way.

“Same ol’, same ol’,” said Applejack. “Servin’ and protectin’. What about you? Still making those dresses?”

“Honestly, I haven’t sewn in ages. The inspiration just hasn’t been there, I’m afraid. But…” Rarity’s voice slipped into that tone again. The way she sounded when she was talking about her kills. “I was thinking about Applebloom the other day, bless her soul, and I wanted to do a little line inspired by the little beauty.”

“Hm.” Applejack tried not to react, but I could see the hurt flash across her face. “That’s mighty nice. Ah reckon she woulda liked that.”

“I just keep flashing back to the first time I saw her. She had this nice, sort of rustic green button-down, with those dusty blue jeans.” If I had my doubts before, this was any confirmation I need to know for sure that this woman was a monster. “And that bow, just the cutest thing I’ve ever seen… It really is a shame, what happened to her.”

“Rarity, if y’all don’t mind, we really have to go,” said Applejack darkly. “Good-bye, sugarcube.”

“Uh… Bye, Rarity. See you later,” I said. I hung up the phone before she had a chance to respond.

“Damn, that girl just don’t know when to shut the hell up,” grumbled the sheriff. I wish I could tell her that Rarity knew, she just didn’t care. “Just cause the wounds are healed don’t mean they need to be reopened.”

“I really hate to ask you, Ms. Applejack—”

“AJ, if’n ya don’t mind.”

“Sorry. I hate to ask, AJ, but I’d like to know about your sister.” Applejack stiffened slightly, but didn’t protest. “I’ve been looking for this Widow character, like you asked, and I’m narrowing it down. Trouble is, ‘Widow’ is a common name among the criminal underworld. It would help if I knew about your sister so I can find people who have motive.”

AJ sighed, then pulled out a cigarette of her own to smoke.

“If you really think it’ll help,” she murmured. “Applebloom was a sweet little girl. Nineteen years old when she was… y’know. Never got into any trouble. Shit in school, except for chemistry. She wanted to get into medicine, but we couldn’t afford college for her. It’s why Ah started dealings with the cartel.” She got quiet, lowering her voice to just barely a whisper. “She died before she got to see her acceptance letter.”

Thirty-plus years of criminal activity hardened my heart quite severely. Not that I was a softee before I started robbing banks, or that I was an emotionless machine now. I just wasn’t easily affected by other people's’ blight. Even still, I felt my heart break for the sheriff. I just imagined if I was in her place, and Spike in Applebloom’s. I’d have long since lost my mind pursuing Widow in order to exact my revenge.

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. “Did she have any enemies?” AJ snapped, slamming her hand on the dash.

“Hell no, she didn’t have enemies! She was nothing but a nice, kind, caring girl.” When she realized that she was yelling, she paused to take a long drag on her cigarette, likely to calm down. “Sorry. Ah know you’re just trying to help.”

“It’s okay. How about friends? Did she hang out with any of… Er… My kind of people?” I asked.

“Just Spike. They were real good friends. Used to invite him over every Friday for supper. Applebloom never stepped foot in a kitchen, but when Spike started coming round, she used to make dessert. The two of them would swap recipes. He made brownies, she made sweet potato pie.”

I had to fight really hard to decide whether or not I should tell Applejack who Widow was. Would that be a smart move? Would she apprehend her immediately or kill her with her bare hands? Would she think I was an accomplice or an associate? Would she believe me at all? From what I’ve gathered, she’s known Rarity for years. I only just met her a week or so ago. That could be dangerous for me.

I decided I’d hold my tongue. For now.

“Thank you. I think this will help me a lot,” I said. “We can stop talking about it now.”

Applejack was silent, but nodded her appreciation. I wondered how she’d react if she knew the truth. She’d probably turn right around, forgetting our meeting entirely. Beat Rarity to a pulp, in a well-deserved, cathartic act of revenge. I wished I could give that to her, but I couldn’t. Not now. I tried to stop thinking about it. I needed to focus on getting out.

We drove for thirty more minutes, eventually coming to a little storagehouse at the bottom of a hill. It truly was the middle of nowhere. I started to get nervous. Nobody knew where I was. I was in the middle of absolutely nowhere. All I had on me was my mask and revolver. For all I knew, this was a set-up.

I gripped my revolver tightly as Applejack parked the truck and stepped out.

“C’mon, sugarcube,” she said. “We gotta talk to the boys.”

I sighed, then rolled out of the truck, joining the sheriff on her side of the vehicle. I took a moment to take in my surroundings. There were several small hills stretching out for what seemed like miles. The storagehouse was smaller than my laundromat, but it probably did just fine for what it was used. There were two pickup trucks parked on the other side of Applejack’s, both of which seemed to have just gotten there. One of them still had the engine running.

“What exactly is going down here?” I asked.

“Trade-off. Thunder and Lightning are gonna take the gold and coke off our hands,”said AJ. “Then, they’ll give us the cash.”

I nodded, then crossed my arms over my chest in a desperate attempt to calm my nerves and seem in control. I think I managed fairly well, given how off the rails everything had gone. We waited for about a minute before the storagehouse opened. Two twins stepped out, both bald and cloudy grey. They each had a duffel bag slung over their shoulder, which they silently dropped to the sand before us.

“That’ll be six hundred, right?” asked Applejack. They nodded. “Ms. Medusa, count that up, if’n ya don’t mind.”

I bent down and zipped open the bag, counting out the stacks. I didn’t exactly care for being ordered around, but I understood what she was doing. These were her people. Just like I needed to be in control of my Crew, she needed to run the cartel. That meant giving orders and taking charge.

“So, what have y’all been up to?” asked AJ. I immediately got lost in the flow of conversation, mostly due to the topics directly involving events I had no knowledge of. After hearing Thunder and Lightning respond, I smirked. They were silent before, but AJ managed to get a conversation out of them. They actually had a lot to say when talking to the sheriff. She had a talent for getting people to trust her, and therefore getting them to talk. I enjoyed it a little. After listening to them go back and forth for a bit, I managed to differentiate between the two brothers. Thunder’s voice was slightly deeper, and his accent slightly thicker, while Lightning could have reasonably passed for a city boy.

“And that’s six hundred,” I said, after triple checking. I scooped up the bag, keeping my eyes on the twins. “That’ll be all, right?”

“Mh-hm,” said Applejack. “Now we just gotta get these boys what they’re paying for, and we’ll be on our merry—”

A bone-rattling crack rang through the air, followed by a heavy thud, like a sack of potatoes hitting the ground. I turned, drawing my gun only to see the sheriff’s body flat on the ground with a bloody, gory crater in the back of her head. I gaped at her body, my brain shutting down for a moment.

Two more shots cut through the air, snapping me out of my stupor. I didn’t have to look, because I was able to hear the twins’ corpses hit the sand. The shooter was nowhere to be seen. I panicked, then ran behind AJ’s truck, dragging the money with me. I tried to calm my breathing, which was near-impossible when the adrenaline finally kicked in. My head was swimming, it refused to keep my thoughts in order. I was only certain of two things: There was a sniper, and I needed to get the hell out of there. I threw the bags into the back of the truck, trying my hardest to stay behind the meager protection that the truck bed offered. When I was certain the bags were secured, I prepared to make a break for the driver seat.

Another shot rended reality, shredding through the sky. I felt a searing, burning, explosive pain in my shoulder, so agonizing that I stumbled and hit the ground. I swore loudly, clutching my arm to slow the bleeding, though I wasn’t sure how successful I was. I pushed myself up, urging my body to move despite its refusal. If I stood there, I would die. It was that simple.

I pulled myself into the driver seat, then slammed my foot onto the gas. I pulled off as carefully as I could given my state, then gunned it in the direction of home. All the while, my mind was racing. What just happened? What would happen from here on out? I’d need to start thinking about the cartel. They’d probably take this as an act of aggression. Unless, of course, it was another family or crime organization trying to take power. But why then? Why us?

“Son of a bitch…” I muttered, the pain nearly growing to be too much. At some point, almost half-way through the trip home, it occurred to me that I should call for help. I couldn’t risk an ambulance. They’d ask why I was shot, and I couldn’t count on another crooked cop to bail me out. So, I had to settle for Dash.

help ive been shot get here quickly south of town backroad

I took a moment to mourn my awful spelling and punctuation before Dash texted back.

On the way try not 2 die

I decided to sit tight on the back road I was on, trying not to bleed out. I checked the sheriff’s glovebox, relieved to find a first aid kit. I popped it open, surprised by the sophistication of the box. A tourniquet, gauze, painkillers, a paste that help blood coagulate, and a pair of forceps. I swallowed a handful of painkillers, then went to patch myself up. I tied up the tourniquet, then went to wrap my wound when I remembered the bullet still sitting in my arm. I clumsily dug through the mess that was my shoulder, trying to remember everything I’d ever read about self-surgery. I managed to lock onto the bullet without tearing any arteries, which was good. I dropped the bullet into my palm, turning it over in my hand curiously. Who’d have thought that this little, dented thing could end three lives? As I looked at it, something about the way it crumpled from impact looked off to me. I wiped the blood off as best as I could on my pants, trying to find any inconsistencies or oddities.

I turned the bullet over one last time, my stomach knotting up on itself at the sight of the bloody, chipping, but perfectly-discernible white diamond that was inset in the bottom.

Widow's Bite

“Jesus, Twi… Are you okay?”

“I have a hole in my arm.”

“But does it hurt?”

“Oh, sorry, I misunderstood your question. I have a fucking hole in my arm!”

I knew he meant well, and that there wasn’t much one could say in this situation, but it really did hurt a lot. I just had to rip a large bit of metal out of my arm, which was currently being sewn shut. I was bleeding, I was swearing, and I was swallowing pills at much higher than the recommended rate of dosage. So pardon my language.

“Was she like this when you got her, Dash?” Spike asked as he was finishing up my arm. My pain was far from gone, but the drugs were helping to dull it. I was on my bed, surrounded by every member of the house, save for my assailant. Even her sister was there, no doubt to get her fix of blood and violence.

“Pretty much,” said Dash with a shrug. “Considering the whole being shot thing, I’d say she’s handling things pretty well.” She stared at my wound uneasily. “Good thing you know how to do stitches.”

“Oh, I don’t. This is trial and error,” said Spike, poking my newly-sealed wound. “It’s why I keep asking her if it hurts.”

“It does,” I reminded them all. “You done? Cause I could really use some rest. It’s not every day that I get shot, and I’d like to enjoy the rest of it while I can.” Spike packed up his sewing kit, checked my arm one last time, then handed my painkiller’s to Dash.

“Stay with her, make sure she doesn’t OD,” sighed Spike. “Twi, stay in bed, try to stay hydrated, et cetera. Sweetie, Scootaloo, come on. I need your help to get stuff for dinner.”

And, with that, Spike led the two girls out of the room. Rainbow took a seat next to me, flipping the bottle of pills over in her hand. She waited until she was certain that Spike and the kids were gone before popping open the pills and laying two on the dresser next to my bed.

“I’m stealing some,” Dash informed me. She took out another two, then swallowed them dry. “What are these? Oxy?” She read the label. “Yup. Thought so. Oh, fuck, that’s gonna be fun in a few.”

“Glad to know that you’re enjoying yourself,” I muttered.

“Hey, if you can get high, I should be able to.”

“If you touch my pills again, I’ll give you a reason to need them.” I was mostly joking, but Dash wasn’t quite sure, so she set the pills down.

“So, let’s get down to business,” said Dash. “Whose ass are we kicking?” I raised my eyebrow in confusion. “Well, I’m not letting some cartel fucks get away with shooting my boss. Who do we have to fuck up?”

I couldn’t do anything without Dash’s help at the moment. We’d need to be on the same page if we were going to leave soon, which was the plan. I needed to tell her. But… I was paranoid. If Rarity truly did shoot me, which was the only explanation I had, she would need to know where I was. She couldn’t have, I never told her. Unless…

“I really don’t know,” I sighed. “It could’ve been anyone. They probably weren’t even aiming at me. The sniper killed three people but let me go. Why would they do that?”

She was toying with me. The White Widow had a habit of that. She liked to savor her kills, to let her victims know that they are powerless to stop their own demise. That’s why she kept Applebloom alive for so long, why she mocked AJ with her sister’s death before pulling the trigger. But, like killing the Apple sisters, she would move quickly. Once she tasted blood, she had to pounce.

“Hey, Rainbow, would mind fetching me a glass of water?” I asked. “Oh, and maybe a bucket? The drugs make me feel a bit queazy.”

“There should be one under the sink,” said Dash, pushing herself to her feet. “Be right back. Don’t die while I’m gone.”

I smirked as Dash left to get what I had asked for. I appreciated her eagerness to get back at whoever had wronged me.That loyalty was becoming a rarity in my world. I would need that if things end up going the way they seemed to. Dash truly did deserve more thanks than I gave her.

She returned a short bit later, with both a tall glass of ice cold water and a small, orange bucket. She set the bucket next to my bed, handed me my water, then returned to her seat.

“Thanks,” I said, taking a tiny sip. Then, I brought my finger to my lips. When I was certain the Dash understood, I emptied my glass into the bucket. Then, I pulled out both my burner and my personal phone. One at a time, I carefully tore them in two, exposing the wires, battery, and other electronic bits. I dropped my phone debris into the bucket. Then, I beckoned for Dash’s phone. Uneasily, she handed it to me, and I repeated the process. I gently shook the whole thing, just to ensure that water would sink into every crevice and ruin any sort of delicate technology.

“Keep talking,” I mouthed as I rolled out of bed.

“So… Spike and Rarity, back together, huh?” she said nervously. “That’s cool. It’s nice to see them happy.” She had to fight the urge to ask what I was doing as I moved throughout my room, running my hand along the edges of my dresser, the frame of the door, the seams where wall met wall.

“I’m glad Spike did what he did,” I said, still making my passes. “I’d hate to split them up. Again.” Once I was certain that there was nothing hidden in my room, I returned to my bed. “Have you seen my mask?”

“I left it in the truck,” said Dash. “You want me to grab it?”

“No. It might be bugged. It definitely has a tracker,” I murmured. Dash raised an eyebrow, but I didn’t let her start with questions yet. “Look, we don’t have much time. We need to figure out what we’re going to do, then do it.”

“You’re losing me, Boss.”

“Rarity was the sniper.” Rainbow froze, her lips moving without producing sound. “We need to act.”

“How do you know?” she asked. “How do you know it was her?”

“The bullet. It was one of the diamond bullets,” I said. “She didn’t kill me now, but she will soon. This was just for fun. Next time, it’s for keeps.”

“What do we do?” she asked. “We can’t kill her, can we?”

“Even if I wanted to, I don’t think so. She’d see us coming from a mile away.” I scratched at my stitches, as if trying to claw away my doubt and fear. “We need to leave. This week, no later. But it’ll be suspicious if I start moving around too much. I’m going to need you to talk to Rift and get everything set up for you.”

“Alright. I can handle that. When?”

“Tomorrow. Find an excuse to get out of the safe house,” I said. “Then run to the money spot and meet up with Rift. Have him find a place to stay in Ponyville. Tell him we don’t have time to be picky. We leave as soon as possible.”

“Shit… I’ll tell Scoots to start packing.”

“No. She can’t know until we’re on our way to Ponyville. Rarity might be able to tell that something is up, and that’s a recipe for disaster.” I laid back in bed, my stomach turning over itself. I couldn’t tell if it was because of dread or the painkillers. “I need you to get rid of the bucket and phone parts. We’ve been needing new burners anyway.”

“Alright. I’ll be back soon.” Dash grabbed the bucket and headed for the door. “Need anything before I leave?”

I reached to my holster and drew my revolver, turning it over in my hand.

“I’ll manage,” I said. With a snicker, Dash disappeared from the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. As bad as things were, we hadn’t actually deviated much from the original plan. Everything was about the same, except for me being shot. That was actually quite assuring. My plan was still holding up. Only difference now was that I had a much more firm deadline. But, for now, all I could do is sit and suffer. My eyes soon fell on the painkillers that Dash left on my dresser.

I didn’t like the pills. They had made everything fuzzy and floaty. Everything felt heavy, and my stomach… I don’t understand how Dash took the pills for fun. I actually needed them and I would never willingly take them again. I hated how they made me feel, from the nausea to the drowsiness. When the pain in my arm reared its ugly head again, I decided to leave the pills where they lay. I still hadn’t gotten past the drugs that I already consumed, which still had some fight left in them. I was so tired… I fell asleep before Dash made it back to the room.

My eyes refused to open. Frankly, I didn’t much care to make them. I felt as if all the energy in my body had been drained. I felt my gun weigh heavily in limp, unresponsive hand. I tried to turn over, to make myself more comfort, but my whole body felt three times heavier than it should’ve. It was bizarre. I felt like I had no control over my own body. Just flipping over was impossible with my current state.

“Come on, darling. Wake up.”

I bolted up, clumsily pointing my gun in the general direction of the voice. Adrenaline coursed through my veins, and it was shocking that I managed to hold off from pulling the trigger. Good thing I did, because I had my gun pointed directly at Widow. I could only see her eyes on account of the mask, but she didn’t seem disturbed by me at all.

“Good morning,” she said calmly. She looked down at her watch. “Evening, more like.”

“Jesus, Rarity.” I didn’t lower my gun. “I might’ve shot you.”

“I’m lucky you look before you shoot, then.” She winked slyly. “I just heard what happened, I came as quickly as I could. Are you doing okay?”

I don’t think I can overstate just how much I hated her. She couldn’t even let me be shot in peace.

“I’m fine. Tired,” I muttered. I finally set my gun onto the bed. “Trying to figure out who did this to me.” There was a faint glint in her eyes, hinting that she was smiling behind her mask. She thought I was stupid. “Where’s Rainbow?”

“She’s in the kitchen helping Spikey with dinner,” she said casually. At least I knew I was safe for the time being. Even she wasn’t crazy enough to attempt to murder me with Spike and Dash in the next room.

“Oh. Okay. Erm… What brings you here?” I asked. She pointed at my arm. I looked down at the crooked stitching, just barely holding my arm together.

“That, my dear, is an absolute mess,” she said. “Spike tried his best, but he’s never been the neatest of fellows. I need to fix those stitches before they come loose, or—God forbid—get infected.” She stood up, grabbed a sewing kit that she had beside her, then set up shop on my bed. She took a pair of thin scissors and began snipping at my stitches.

“My, this is a nasty one,” she muttered. “Does it hurt?”

“Not much. Spike had me on painkillers,” I said. She stiffened slightly, probably disappointed that I wasn’t in agonizing pain.

“That’s good. Now, this is going to sting.” She ripped the thread firmly, which did hurt quite a bit. I tried not to show it, but I’m sure I let out a grunt of pain.

“Never been shot before,” I said. I thought about it for a moment. “Eh, that’s not true. Got my knee grazed once, a long time ago. That feels like stubbing my toe in comparison.”

“I take it someone removed the bullet already?” asked Rarity. I nodded.

“Dash pulled it out for me when she came to pick me up.”

Rarity nodded, then immediately went about restitching me. She was as rough as she could be without actively making the wound worse. She worked slowly, savoring my grimaces and flinches. I could imagine her licking her lips, tasting my pain in the way you would a fine wine. It was despicable.

“And that should do it,” said Rarity, wiping my wound clean. “You tell me if that starts bothering you any.” She stood up, packing up her tools. “And Twilight, dear, I must say… I’m glad you’re okay. What happened to the sheriff… That easily could’ve been you.”

“I beg your pardon?” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“What I mean is that the south is a dangerous part of Equestria. Safety is not guaranteed.” She removed her mask to show my those pearly whites of hers. “That could have been you, dead on the sand. Keep that in mind, darling. There are some dangerous people around here.” She snarled for a fraction of a second, returning to her smile so quickly that it was obviously unintended. “Do keep that in mind.”

She went to leave, pausing in the doorway. She gave me one last look of savage hunger before opening the door and stepping out. A few moments later, no doubt because she was dismissed from dinner duty, Dash returned, closing the door tightly behind her.

“You okay?” she asked.

I wasn’t. I was livid. She was taunting me! Mocking me. Toying with me before she killed me. And to make matters worse, she thought it’d be easy. She was taking her time, trying get as much of my suffering as she could to satisfy her sick cravings. She thrived off of my pain, my fear, my uncertainty. She would watch as I wondered who had shot me, knowing with disgusting satisfaction that I would never know until it was too late. She thought I was stupid. She thought it’d be easy to kill me.

She thought wrong.

“The plan has changed,” I said. “I need a burner.” Dash passed me a brand new phone, sitting on the bed next to me.

“I grabbed new ones when you were out,” she said. “What’s the plan?” I ignored her, then dialed out Rift’s number. After a few moment of ringing, the lines connected.

“Brooke residence,” he said. “Who’s calling?”

“Cut the crap, Rift. I need your help,” I said. He sighed tiredly.

“Jesus, why do you guys always need my help?” He chuckled slightly. “Oh yeah. It’s cause I’m just that damn good. What do you need, Dusey?”

“I need you to get me some things, then get ready for some work,” I said. “I have a plan to put together that’s going to need some materials.”

“We hitting a bank?” he asked.

“We’re hitting something. Just not a bank.”

I spent a day watching Rarity and Spike. I studied the way that they spoke to each other. I watched every hug, kiss, and loving gaze as if I needed to pass a test at the end. Rarity noticed, and it only served to fire her up more. She took joy in knowing that I was so focused on their relationship. It confirmed everything she ever thought, and cemented the fact that she was the better woman. I smiled internally at the very idea.

I spent another two days managing Dash and Rift, and doing research. I had to subliminally interrogate Spike to uncover the location of a bar. The bar that he met Rarity in. Drifter’s Saloon had closed several years ago, which only served to save me money by removing the need for any bribery. I put Rift in place across from the bar, where he would wait for my signal. From there, I had only three variable to concern myself with.

Variable one: Sweetie Belle. She would be easy enough to deal with. All I had to do was subtly convince Scootaloo to head out to the arcade the day of the deed. Variable two was Spike. Again, he was nothing difficult to handle. All I did was set up a small heist one town over, which he would leave for before Rarity returned home. That brings me to the final—and most unpredictable—variable. Rarity was the most dangerous element of this plan. If any of us made a single misstep, it could end with one or more of us dying. I wasn’t concerned, though. Rarity had made a mistake by underestimating me. She would soon regret that.

All the pieces were in place. Dash and I sat in the bar. The children were as far away from the action as possible. Rift was where he needed to be. Spike was gone. And I had his phone. Now, all that I needed to do was pull the trigger and set everything in motion.

“We sure about this?” asked Dash.

“Yes. I’ve spent too much time and effort planning this out,” I said, tapping my finger on the counter. “I’m not throwing it away now.”

“In fairness,” said Rift, his voice ringing through my earpiece. “You threw away a perfectly sound plan less than a week ago.”

“Touche.” I raised Spike’s phone, then sent out my text. I had spent ages preparing, revising, deleting and retyping it.

Hey, babe. I have a surprise for you at the bar. Meet me there as soon as possible

“And now,” I said with a sigh. “We wait.”

“Jesus, this is a mess,” grumbled Dash. She nervously tapped her foot. “Where do we go from here?”

“Ponyville. Rift has a place set up,” I said.

“Hm. Never been,” she said. “Heard it’s shitty, though.” I shrugged my shoulders, deciding to keep my Ponyville plans to myself. For now. “How long do you think it’ll take for her to get here?”

“I have no clue. Depends on where she is.” I pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. I was starting to get worked up, and that was no good. “Ten minutes, minimum. Thirty max.”

Fifteen minutes, as it so happened. While I was on my third cigarette (those things would kill me before Rarity ever had the chance), the doors swung open, and Rarity slowly, carefully, confusedly walked in. She scanned over the room, searching for the reason she was there.

“So you got one too?” I asked. Rarity blinked, looking confused. “A text, I mean. From Spike. Said he wanted to say something to us?”

“Oh. I thought… Hm. I don’t actually know what I thought,” said Rarity, pulling out her phone. “He didn’t happen to tell you what he was calling us here for, did he?”

“Nah. We’re just as clueless as you,” said Dash. She locked eyes with me for a moment before rising from her seat. “Hey, I’m gonna go smoke a bowl. Call me if Spike shows up.” She disappeared out of the back door of the bar, leaving me alone with the White Widow.

For the first minute, it was silent. I just sat there, basking in the moment.

“It isn’t like Spike to do something like this,” murmured Rarity, tapping on her phone. She slowly began pacing in a small circle just in front of the window. She was making this too easy.

“I agree,” I said with a nod. “He’s been acting strange lately. Kind of nervous.” Rarity stopped in her tracks. Apparently, that was very interesting to her.

“N-nervous? Nervous how?” I smirked slightly at how quickly she lost her composure.

“I’m not sure. Just… weird. This surprise must be something.”

“I have the shot, Medusa,” Rift whispered. “Are you ready? One cough is yes, two is no.”

I coughed twice. She wasn’t getting off that easy.

“So what do you think it is?” I asked. “I don’t know why he couldn’t just tell us at home. Why have us come to this dirty, dusty old bar?”

“This is where we met,” she said, trying not to sound offended. I’m happy to report that she failed.

“Oh. I presume it was in better shape back then?” I snickered. “Though, knowing Spike, it wasn’t. Not by much, at least.”

“It was a fine bar. It’s where I met the love of my life, so it was perfect. As far as I am concerned.” Now, she seemed properly angry. She really didn’t like it when I belittled anything related to her and Spike.

“I’m sure,” I said, as patronizingly as possible. “Looks like crap now, though. Spike really does know how to pick them.” My gaze lingered on her for a moment. “Doesn’t he?”

“I beg your pardon?” she snarled through gritted teeth. “I don’t think that you thought about that very much, Ms.Sparkle.”

“Oh, I thought about it quite a bit.” We locked eyes and, for the first time since we met, I stood my ground. I refused to be intimidated by her anymore. She wouldn’t get be to back down like during chess. This time, she would bow to me.

Her response was interrupted by Dash’s return. She seemed significantly calmer, which was to be expected. She took a seat next to me, then pulled out her phone. She started texting, probably checking on Scootaloo.

“He’s still not here?” groaned Rainbow. “Jesus, some of us have places to be.”

“How’s your arm, Twilight?” asked Rarity. Her voice was devoid of concern or warmth. She wanted to know so she could relive my pain.

“Oh, it’s fine. Thanks for asking. I’m glad you brought it up, actually,” I said. I stood up from my chair and began pacing. “I’ve been thinking about who could’ve shot me. I think I’ve figured it out.”

“Oh? Do tell.” Obviously, she was confident in herself, which was one of her many mistakes. I couldn’t wait to tear down her illusion of perfection.

“Well, I haven’t been here long enough to make any new enemies, so it had to be someone from the north,” I said. “I thought it through, and I realized it could’ve been one of only two parties. Either my brother and his squad or a gang headed by a guy named Rumble. I soon ruled out Rumble’s gang, because they wouldn’t go out of their way to kill me unless Dash was there. Rainbow pissed them off, you see.” Rarity was clearly bored, which was fine. I wasn’t doing this for her. “So it had to be my brother. Except it couldn’t be. If Shining truly wanted to shoot me, he would have shot me dead. This arm shot really put a wrench in my reasoning, until I thought of something.

“What if my assailant didn’t want me dead just yet? What if they wanted to torture me? So I started looking for people like that. Then, I looked at how sloppily it was done.”

“Sloppy?” asked Rarity.

“Oh, yeah. They could’ve shot me in the leg. Would’ve made it harder to defend myself or run, if I wanted to do that,” I explained. “It wasn’t very careful. If AJ didn’t have a first aid kit in her truck, I might’ve bled out. Then, there’s the matter of the bullet.”

“You said Rainbow pulled it out, yes?” she asked, fiddling with her phone.

“Well, I’m a liar. I took it out, and I noticed something,” I said, trying my hardest not to grin. “I noticed a diamond in the bullet.”

I coughed once and, before she could raise her phone completely to her ear, a dull thump cut through the air, followed by the wet squelch of a bullet sliding through flesh, and Rarity’s scream as she collapsed under her own weight. Blood oozed from the wound in the side of her neck, pooling around her and seeping into her hair. She clasped her hand on the wound in a futile attempt to slow the blood.

“Rainbow, I need your gun,” I said. Dash silently tossed me her handgun, which I easily caught. “Thank you.” Then, I turned my attention to my prey. “For the record, this is how you should’ve done it, Rarity. I accounted for every variable, and that is why you won’t walk out of this situation like I walked out of mine.”

“Y-you bitch…” she gasped, shuddering in pain. “Spike will gut you for this…”

“No, he won’t,” I said. “When he finds out… Well, he’ll learn to live with it.”

“No! He chose me, not you… Me…”

“Who do you think gave him the choice?” I crossed the room, crouching next to Rarity. “You know why he chose you? Because I told him to. If it weren’t for me making him choose you, he never even would’ve considered it.”

“You’re a liar! Lying… Cunt…” With every word, she grew weaker, and it was clear that she wouldn’t last much longer. Fine by me. I got what I wanted.

“Well, now you’ll never know for sure,” I said. “You want to know what’s ironic about this whole thing? You tried to kill me for trying to steal your man, but I never wanted him. I told you from the beginning, I wasn’t interested in him. Not like that.”

“You stole him… Last time…” She coughed, splattering blood on her chest. “I won’t let it happen again.”

“I didn’t steal him last time.” I pressed the gun to her forehead. “I didn’t even know you existed, darling.”

I pulled the trigger, dropping the gun next to her. I trembled with something I couldn’t immediately describe. Adrenaline, excitement, exhilaration. After a bit, I decided that it must’ve been satisfaction. The kill gratified some sick, primal desire in me to prove that I was better. And I was.

“Grab her phone, ID, driver’s license,” I ordered, crossing the room and taking a seat on the far side of the bar. “Anything that could be used to identify her. I need to think about what I’m going to tell Spike.”

Rainbow nodded, then went over to frisk the White Widow’s body. In the meantime, I sat quietly. Spike would understand what I had done, right? He’d know that I’d never kill Rarity if I didn’t have to. Murder is bad for business. Rift was right. As my best friend, he’d find it in him to forgive me.

“Rarity!”

I looked up towards the door to see Scootaloo and—more importantly—Sweetie Belle, clutching her phone to her ear, absolute despair etched on her face. Dash and I both froze, unsure of how to deal with her.

“Sweetie—” Rainbow didn’t get much more out before Sweetie pounced on her, pinning her to the ground with incredible strength. She smashed Rainbow’s head against the floor, fiddling in her pocket and quickly pulling out a switchblade. She flipped it out before I was up out of my seat and halfway there. I wouldn’t make it in time. By the time I’d get there, Dash would be dead.

A loud gunshot rang throughout the bar, freezing me in my tracks. Blood and brain dripped out of the new hole in the side of Sweetie’s head, pooling and combining with her sister’s. She fell, dead, onto Rainbow’s chest, who pushed her off immediately. We both looked up in search of her savior.

Scootaloo clutched the gun I had discarded, the barrel still smoking, with tears in her eyes. She gaped, horrified at the sight of what she had done. I made my way to her, then tugged the gun out of her hands. I dropped the clip and popped out the bullet in the chamber before throwing the gun across the room. I looked at Dash, who stared silently at her little sister.

“Come on,” I said quietly. “We’ve got to go.”

“What did you originally intend to do with Sweetie Belle?”

“I’d leave her to the authorities. She wouldn’t have known about Rarity, so she wouldn’t have given us up for fear of implicating her sister.”

“I see. But, instead, you let a small child handle your dirty work.”

That irritated Twilight quite a bit. Now she could see that the prosecutor really was just trying to anger her by this point. Twilight couldn’t see much reason for that, other than for his own enjoyment. She shook her head, opting not to let him annoy her too much.

“Like I said, I never intended to happen,” sighed Twilight. “And I couldn’t un-shoot her, unfortunately. So, I made it work.”

“How did Ms. Dash take it?” asked the prosecutor. “I take it she didn’t appreciate the situation you put her sister in?”

“She did not. But, as I said, I made it work.”

“Of course. So, next stop is Ponyville. Why there?”

Twilight grinned. Perhaps the prosecutor had been learning something from her after all.

“Oh? And what makes you think there was any particular reason?” asked Twilight. “It’s cheap, closer to home, and bigger than Appleloosa. There were some juicy heists that could happen.”

“You always seem to have some sort of ulterior motive, even to what seems like a completely logic-driven plan.”

“Heh. Well, you’re right. While researching Ponyville as a potential new Mythos HQ, I discovered that there was something there that I wanted to get my hands on,” explained Twilight. “Well, two somethings, actually. But that didn’t come until later.”

“Then what happened first?”

“First, we moved in,” said Twilight. “Then… We met with Simon Oswald Lawler.”

“And who is that?” asked the prosecutor.

“You’d never believe me if I told you.” Twilight chuckled. “I could hardly believe it myself. For now, let’s just call them… Mythos’ newest business partners.”

A Good End To A Bad Day

“Dash, take the girl and go with Rift. I’ll meet you there.”

“Are you fucking serious right now? I—”

“Don’t argue with me right now! We need to go!”

“Twi… Fine. But this isn’t over. We’re talking about this later.”

I ignored her, busying myself with unlocking the entrance to the safehouse. As soon as the door was open, I slid down the ladder and rushed to my room. I grabbed my duffel, which contained my mask and my revolver. I grabbed the Gorgon, then turned it over in my hands to search for the tracker. After a few minutes, I found it, hidden away behind one of the snakes. I pulled it off and crushed it under my foot.

I left my room, then headed to the living room. I packed up the chess set, then slipped it into my duffel bag. From there, I went to Dash’s room, clearing it of anything useful. I didn’t find much, except for the cocaine Rift had delivered. I added that to my bag, then set off for the door. As I passed Rarity’s door, I paused. I knew there were some things in there that I might want. At the same time, I wasn’t sure how I felt about rummaging through the personal belongings of a person I had just killed.

I dove into her room after just a second of hesitation. I scanned her room, then eventually started to clear off her dresser of its jewelry, which would provide a nice safety cushion in case the jobs didn’t come as quickly as I wanted. Her sniper, hung so sinisterly above her bed, beckoned to me. I swiped it down then, after searching a bit, slid it into the case hidden beneath her bed. Then, I raided her closet in search for the one thing I wanted from Rarity most. Eventually, I found it, resting in a small hat box. I lifted her mask, which I decided to call the Widow, and carefully traced my thumb along the design of its mouth. I slipped my trophy into my bag, grabbed the sniper case, then pushed open her door and stepped out.

“Twilight?” I almost ran into him, so he was probably about to come into Rarity’s. We stared at each for a few moments, his eyes darting to my bag, fit to burst, and the gun I was toting. Immediately, Spike adopted an uncomfortable, awkward presence.

“H-hey,” I said quietly.

“What are you doing?” he asked, matching my volume.

“Spike… There’s something I have to tell you,” I said, swallowing hard. I knew what I wanted to say, but he surprised me. “It’s… It’s about Rarity.”

Silence filled the room, thick and solid. I wanted to speak, but my mouth refused to articulate. After I proved myself unable to say it, Spike made it unnecessary.

“You… You killed her, didn’t you?” He looked down, fighting back the tears. “You don’t have to say it. I know. I see it in your eyes.”

“Spike… I didn’t want it to turn out like that,” I promised. I sat down the sniper and duffel bag. “It was self-defense. If I didn’t act, she’d have killed me.”

“I… I loved her.”

“I know.”

“And you killed her.” Spike balled up his fists, still refusing to meet my gaze. I was grateful for that. “That’s twice you took her from me.”

“I wouldn’t have done it if I had another option.” I wanted to reach out and hug him, but I could tell that he would react poorly to that. “It was me or her.”

“Did it ever occur to you that maybe it should’ve been you?” he asked sharply. As soon as he said it, I could tell he regretted it. “That wasn’t fair. At all. But neither was what you did.”

“I know,” I said again. I felt a lump form in my throat, and it was growing more difficult to breathe with each passing second.

“She would have killed you?” he asked. I nodded. “And there was no other way to deal with her? No other course of action?”

“No. I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Spike turned so I wouldn’t see him cry, but it was hard to miss how he trembled and shuddered. I just sat there awkwardly, praying that he’d say something to tell me that it was okay. It wasn’t, of course, and it would be a while before it ever was again. I may have just let my pride ruin my relationship with my best friend.

“Sweetie too?” he asked.

“She was going to kill Rainbow. Had a knife to her throat,” I said. “I had to…”

Another bout of silence emerged, this one persisting for a bit longer. I slowly, carefully reached forward, placing my hand gently on his shoulder. To my surprise, he allowed me to. In that single gesture, I understood two things: He would forgive me, and things would never be the same between us.

“One day, Twilight, you’re gonna cross one line that you shouldn’t have,” said Spike darkly. “One day, you’re gonna do something completely unforgivable, and you’re not gonna get away with it. You’ve always got a plan for everything. I hope you’ve got a plan for that.”

I grabbed my stuff, slinging my bag over my shoulder. I gave my little brother a hug, one he refused to return. That was more than I could have hoped for.

“Come on,” I said gently. “The others are on their way to Ponyville. We need to catch up.”

Spike shrugged out of my hug, shaking his head in disbelief.

“Do you seriously think that’s how this will work?” he asked. “I’m out, remember? You made me pick between Mythos and Widow, and I chose Widow. Doesn’t matter if she’s not around.” We finally made eye contact again, and his gaze made me want to curl up and die. “You killed my only true love. The only person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. You took her from me. I deserve to at least be bitter and lonely.”

“I… I understand,” I said. “Then I guess this is goodbye.”

“Guess so.”

“Spike… Take it easy,” I said, turning for the ladder. “Stay out of trouble. Don’t do anything stupid. And please, for the love of god, please keep in touch.”

He seemed to think about that for a bit. I didn’t see him, but I could hear him pull out a cigarette and light it.

“We’ll see.”

That was good enough for me. Without another word, I ascended up the ladder, packed my stuff in AJ’s pickup, then set off after my Crew.

About eleven hours on the road, and I was finally in the small city of Ponyville. I had stopped only once along the way to get some gas. I didn’t eat, didn’t rest, didn’t stop for the bathroom. I wanted to get off of the road as quickly as possible, given the high amount of illegal items I had on my person.

When I was within the city limits, I dialed Rainbow’s number. She didn’t say much, just gave me the address of the new place. She was pissed at me, and she had some right to that. At the moment, though, I didn’t care. I was still recovering from my moment with Spike.

I drove to the address, which was on the northern edge of the city. To my surprise, I pulled up not to a laundromat or a music shop. The address was a library: Golden Oak Public Library. From there, it was only about three hours to Canterlot. I was so close to home, I could taste it.

I parked around back, stopping my car just next to Rift’s. I grabbed my bag and the rifle, then made my way into the extremely old library. From the looks of things, no one had set foot in the building for years. The shelves were mostly empty, with one or two dust-coated books remaining on each of the hundreds of bookshelves. I wandered around in wonder before I happened upon the lounge at the back, by where the cookbooks used to be. Dash, Rift, and the girl sat silently at one of the round tables there.

“It’s about fucking time,” snarled Dash, standing up.

“I got held up talking to Spike,” I said. I noticed the curiosity in Rift’s look. “He’s not coming. It’s just us.”

“That’s gonna be tough,” murmured Rift. “I can’t stay and heist with you guys for much longer. I got other work, and my wife… You know how that goes. I need to go soon.”

“It’s fine. We’ll find work. You’ve done enough for us.”

“Okay, we done with the ignoring me thing?” asked Dash. “Good. I said we’d talk later, and it’s been later. What the fuck were you thinking?”

“I beg your pardon?” I said with a raised eyebrow.

“You’re damn right, you do.” She balled up her fists as if preparing to punch me. Part of me begged her to. All I’ve done for her, all I’ve been through today, and she had the audacity to talk to me like that? Threaten me? I wanted her to raise her fists so that I could make her regret it.

“Is there an issue, Ms. Dash?” I said, trying to maintain some facade of calm.

“Yeah, there’s an issue. There’s a few fucking issues!” shouted Dash. “Fuck, Twilight, do you understand what just went down? Fuck! All that time, all the shit you dragged us through, and not a damn thing to show for it!”

“The shit I dragged you through? Is that how you remember that?” I asked. “Because, as I recall things, this is all your fault.”

“My fault?!”

“Yes, Dash, your fault! Everything bad that has happened to us has been your fault!” And, just like that, that facade of mine evaporated. “My operation was flawless until you poked your empty head into my laundromat! Face it, Dash, you ruined everything!”

“We had a plan! A solid fucking plan!” She stomped herself forward until she was about touching noses with me. “And you fucked it up because you couldn’t let go of your ego!”

“The only reason we needed that plan was because of you. If it weren’t for you, we’d still be knocking over banks in Canterlot!”

“How is it my fault that you got sloppy and let your brother catch us?”

“We were perfectly fine for years! Then, we made the mistake of letting a rookie join the Crew.” I could feel my blood begin to boil, and I knew at that very moment that this confrontation would end in a fist fight. “So I guess it is my fault.”

“Fuck you and your Crew! This is on your head, Boss. Two people are dead because of you, and you fucked up my little sister because you couldn’t live with the idea of someone knowing that they spooked you.” I could sense Dash tense up. She was going to punch me, and I couldn’t wait. “You couldn’t let it go! That’s some selfish shit, you know that, right? She’ll never be the same again, and it’s all because of you!”

“By my recollection, you’re the one who got tackled by a fifteen year-old,” I said. “You dropped the ball. If anyone’s to blame for Scootaloo’s mental state, it’s you.”

Rainbow raised her fist, and I braced myself. Her punch never came, though, and it soon became evident why. Scootaloo, who had remained completely silent the entire time, held Dash’s elbow. I watched Dash’s gaze bounce from me to her sister and back. The girl… She looked dead on her feet. She wasn’t afraid, or angry, or sad. She was just there.

“Please don’t fight,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “C’mon, Dash. I’m hungry. Let’s grab something to eat.”

“You wanna eat right now?” said Dash, clearly annoyed. Scootaloo tugged on her arm and clutched at Rainbow’s elbow, making sure that she wouldn’t somehow slip through and punch me.

“Come on. After what just happened… I really just wanna relax and hang out.” Rainbow glared at me for a moment before lowering her fists and putting her arm gently around Scootaloo’s shoulders.

“Okay. There’s gotta be a place to get some pizza in this city,” said Dash quietly. Without another word to me or Rift, the two left, slamming the door on their way out. With a tired groan, I slung my bags onto the round table, then pulled out a cigarette and lit up.

“Damn,” said Rift, finally speaking up. “I kinda feel like a dick for leaving after that.”

“Don’t worry about it. Right now…” I took a deep drag, trying my hardest to calm down. “I need two things. I need a breakdown on this library, and I need a lead on work. I know I said I could handle it, but I’ve never said no to extra help.”

“The library is, more or less, pretty basic,” said Rift. “The ground floor, anyway. There’s a secret basement, combination locked, that has safes and maps, all the stuff you’d have back at the laundromat.”

“What type of library was this?” I asked. Rift grinned, then stood up in his seat.

“This library didn’t just get closed. There was a reason. That reason being you.” His grin seemed to grow with my curiosity. “I have some friends in high places. You’re my friend. That means you’ve got friends in high places.”

“You’re telling me that this place was shut down just for me?” I asked.

“Well, not just for you. For someone like you. The basement was put in for Mythos, though. Don’t ask me for the details, you can ask him when you talk to him.”

“Him?”

“Simon. He insists on being called Simon Oswald Lawler, but I doubt that’s his real name,” said Rift with a shrug. “Cause who the hell introduces themselves by first, middle, and last?”

“Who is he?” I didn’t like the mystery man who apparently had been watching me. I also didn’t like when Rift shrugged for the second time.

“All I know is that S.O.L has power, money, and interest in you,” said Rift. “I’ve never met him, only communicated through e-mail. He wants to meet you, though, so you’d better get to it.”

“Mysterious man who gave me a home and is offering me work?” I sighed, tapping my cigarette ash onto the table. “When do I get to meet him? And where?”

“He said to text him when you leave, said he’ll give you an address.”

“Well, text him.” I threw my cigarette onto the floor, then crushed it under my foot. “Simon better have some good news for me, because I’ve been having a bad day.”

I was directed to a little warehouse, off to the eastern edge of Ponyville. When I got there, I was under the impression that I was in the wrong place, because no one was there. After a few texts back and forth with Rift to confirm my location, I was instructed to enter the warehouse and wait.

It was empty, but surprisingly clean, with not a speck of dust in the whole place. I appreciated it. It made me feel a bit more comfortable, despite not knowing anything about anything right then. I wore the Widow, hoping to both conceal my identity and intimidate this Simon guy.

After five minutes of waiting, my burner rang.

“Hello. This is Medusa,” I said calmly, hoping my tone wouldn’t betray how irritated and downright angry I was. “What can I do for you?”

“Ah, Ms. Medusa, a pleasure to finally hear from you.” To my vast surprise, it was a female’s voice who spoke. “I hope not to keep you waiting much longer. I was delayed by some rather important business.”

“Er… I’m sorry, I was under the impression that I’d be meeting with Simon himself.”

“Oh, you are. Simon is just a name,” she said. “Much like Medusa. Your parents didn’t name you after the gorgon queen. Personally, I think Twilight is much prettier.”

“Am I supposed to be impressed that you know my name?” I asked. “I’m the most wanted criminal in Equestria right now. I’d be amazed if my brother didn’t release my name to the public.”

“I wasn’t trying to impress you, but, since you insist on being wowed…” I could hear rustling on her end, as if she was flipping through sheets of paper. “Let’s see… Twilight Sparkle, age forty-seven. Purple eyes. Blood type is B positive. Born in Canterlot to one Night Light and one Twilight Velvet. Younger of two, with your elder being the respected agent Shining Armor of the FBI. Your mother passed away from a sudden brain aneurysm when you were twelve. Your father eventually developed a bit of a gambling addiction, which was when he developed the habit of flipping his poker chip.”

I wasn’t impressed for the first bit, because that was easily something that you could find on the internet. But that last tidbit, the thing about my father and his gambling, that’s something that no one but Spike, Shining, Cadance, and myself knew about. This woman had connections to get that sort of information.

“Very good,” I said. “Do you have anything in that dossier of yours that’s actually interesting?”

“You are coming from Appleloosa, where you were staying with an assassin by the name of Widow.”

“Rift could have told you that.”

“That, he could’ve. Your former place of residence was a laundromat to the northern end of Canterlot,” said Simon, undisturbed. “I’d give you the exact address, but I seem to have misplaced that particular document. My sister probably has it.”

“You still haven’t told me anything interesting,” I noted. Simon chuckled, apparently finding my posturing to be very amusing.

“As I said, that wasn’t my intention. I don’t want to awe you. Just hire you. Oh, I’m just outside, give me a moment to park.” She hung up, at which point I returned my phone to my pocket. As a precaution, and scare tactic, I drew my revolver. I was ready to meet Simon Oswald Lawler.

The warehouse door rose, flooding the room with sunlight. Out of its golden beams stepped a woman in a suit not unlike my own, except hers was pale yellow and much nicer. She was tall and slender, so tall that I had to look up slightly to make eye contact. I didn’t like that. She was at least my age, perhaps a bit older. Her hair was long, about down to her shoulders, and a trio of light green, pale pink, and sky blue. As she smiled warmly at me, I noticed her lightly magenta eyes twinkle with an expectant sort of whimsy. She had already made it up in her head that she would like me.

“Hello, Twilight Sparkle,” she said. She clapped her hands together and began crossing the room. “I have been wanting to meet you for a long time.”

“I’m sure you could have found me,” I said, holding my gun out to the side. If she noticed, she didn’t show it. “I’m relatively easy to reach.”

“Yes, but better late than never, I find. I’m glad that you came alone, it will make negotiations far easier.” She extended her hand, which I loosely took in my own and shook. “Now, Ms. Sparkle, I’m sure you’re dying to get down to business, so why waste any time? I have several things that can only be done by people with skills such as yours. I want you to work for me. In exchange, I will pay you handsomely, as well as supply you with certain… perks.”

“Perks?” I raised an eyebrow. “What sort of perks?”

“I know why you came to Ponyville, Twilight. I can help you.”

“I don’t need your help. I can find them on my own.”

“Oh, I don’t doubt it for a second,” she said, smiling that million dollar smile some more. “But why make things more difficult for yourself?”

I didn’t say anything at first, focusing all my attention on trying to figure this woman out. Who was she? What did she want from me? And how did she know so much about me? This woman had power, and capital, which were two things I was sorely lacking. Maybe a partnership with her wouldn’t be the worst plan.

“If I do this job, I expect an address,” I said firmly.

“If you do this job, I’ll give you a meeting,” she chuckled. “After what they’ve done to you, I think you deserve a bit of… Revenge is such an ugly word, let’s say… They deserve the same kindness that they gave to you.” I smirked from behind my mask. My hands were more or less tied, and I’m sure that S.O.L. knew that. For some reason, she insisted on conducting our business as if we had equal power over one another, even though we both knew that to be untrue.

“If I have your word…” I said, returning my revolver to its holster. “What’s the job? And I never did catch your name.”

“How rude of me. I apologize,” she said. She gave me a little bow. “My name is Celestia Regal, Canterlot’s Senator. And you’re going to help me get elected to a more prestigious position.” My confusion and intrigue must have shown, because Regal’s smile intensified. “As for the job… Tell me, Ms. Sparkle… What do you know about the Elements of Harmony?”

I smiled. That good news was just what I needed to raise my spirits.

Up In Smoke

“Aren’t we supposed to be thieves?”

“I think that word is needlessly amateurish, but yes.”

“Maybe this is a dumb question, but since when did thieves give shit back?”

“This is different. We’re playing a whole new game.”

I paced back and forth, tossing my cell phone from hand to hand. After a nice, long conversation with Celestia, I was ready to start putting together a plan. This was going to be our biggest heist so far. Our job was to steal the six Elements of Harmony, massive gemstones with a total value almost incalculable, and deliver it to the visiting leader of the changeling nation: Queen Chrysalis.

“Why the hell are we doing this?” asked Dash. I could tell that she was far from letting our little argument the day prior go. She just realized that she needed me a lot more than she was angry.

“Celestia wants to get elected,” I said. “The guy she’s running against is a firm advocate of international relations between Equestria and Chrysalis. Celestia is not. If word were to get out that the opponent’s best buddy Chrysalis had arranged to have Equestria’s most valuable historical relics stolen…”

“It’ll sway the polls in Celestia’s favor. I get that.” Dash kicked her feet up on the table. “But since when did we get involved in politics?”

“It’s not about the politics. It’s about making more money, catching bigger scores. This is about history, making it and changing it.”

“Fuck history, I want a check,” said Dash. “I’m not risking my ass trying to lift a couple of national treasures for a big, crazy handful of nothing.”

“You’ll be paid,” I promised.

“How much?”

“Enough to make the job worth it, I’m sure.” Dash was starting to get under my skin. If Spike was here, he’d definitely appreciate this heist for what it was. Who cared about the pull? This was history!

“You don’t even know how much we’re getting paid?” asked Dash. “Un-fucking-believable.”

“If you’re not happy with the job, feel free to find another one,” I said. “I should warn you, though. Not many people are hiring druggie, murderous criminals these days.”

“Fine, whatever,” grumbled Dash. “No need to be a dick about it. Just… Let’s run through the plan.” I didn’t respond, at which point Dash leaned forward with an almost disgusted look on her face. “You do have a plan, don’t you?”

“No plan survives first contact with the enemy,” I said evasively. Dash looked at my, dumbfounded, for several seconds.

“You are so full of shit I think I can actually smell it.”

“Look, we don’t have a lot to work with here. Very few tools, and we blew most of our cash on this place,” I said. “We need to do some smaller heists to save up money to buy materials for this one. Damn, we’re understaffed. Another set of hands would be invaluable.” I slipped my phone back into my pocket, unsure as to why I took it out to start with. “Where’s the girl?”

“She wanted to get some air. Said she was starting to feel suffocated.” She glared at me with a look that screamed “Don’t even try it”. “Guess PTSD will do that to a kid.”

“I can only imagine,” I said flatly. “Perhaps you should try talking to her.”

“Perhaps you should go fuck yourself.”

I was going to respond when my burner rang, stopping my sharp remark before it was fully formed. I flipped it open and put it to my ear.

“Hello, Ms. Sparkle,” said Celestia. “How are things down at headquarters?”

“We’re surviving,” I said. “Though my partner is a bit concerned. She’s worried about our payment.”

“Oh, of course. That’s quite understandable. That’s one of the reasons I’m making my visit.”

“Er… Visit?”

“Yes. It’s been too long since I checked on this particular location,” said Celestia. “Besides, there were a few things we need to discuss that I would rather do in person.”

“Right. Well, when can I expect you?” I asked. She chuckled.

“I’m parking as we speak. I’ll be inside in just a moment.”

The line disconnected, and I felt my heart fall into my stomach. I wasn’t ready for that, which made me very uncomfortable. I was always prepared for everything, but Celestia had thrown me for a loop. I didn’t intend for Dash to meet our new employer so soon (or at all, to be honest). I hadn’t properly prepared her and, given her mood, she would go off the rails at the first available moment.

“Damn!” I slipped my phone into my pocket. “She’s here! Dash, shut up. Don’t say anything unless I tell you.”

“Whatever, man,” said Dash. “Just make sure we get paid for this shit.”

I didn't have time to respond else before I heard the door open. I turned my attention to the door, seeing Celestia in a new, bright orange suit. She smiled as we met eyes, but I kept a straight face. She strode towards me, making me more and more uncomfortable. The air around her just seemed unnaturally perky. I kept on my toes around that woman.

“Ah, Ms. Sparkle, it’s good to see you again,” she said, extending her hand. I gripped it a little tighter than last time and shook. She turned to Dash. “And you must be Ms. Rainbow Dash. I am Senator Celestia Regal, and I will be your employer for the foreseeable future.” Dash stared at Celestia’s extended hand as if it were a dead rodent being offered to her. She spared me a sideways glance.

“Am I allowed to talk now, Master Sparkle?” she asked snarkily.

“Dash…” I snarled. She shrugged, then, instead of shaking the Regal’s hand, slapped her palm, then hit the back of Celestia’s hand with her own. I sat there, mortified, as Dash proceeded to fist bump Canterlot’s Senator.

“Interesting. Now that greetings are out of the way,” Celestia never faltered, as if she had anticipated all of this. “We need to get down brass tacks. This job is going to be quite the undertaking and, for obvious reasons, I want to bolster its chances for success as much as physically possible. So, Ms. Sparkle, if you could start by giving me a comprehensive list of materials you’ll need, I can begin getting them delivered to you, and we should be able to at least begin before the Queen arrives.”

“Well… To be honest, we’re quite under-equipped for a job of this magnitude,” I admitted. “We could use some guns, a van, drills, saws, et cetera. But, more than anything, we really need some floor plans and blueprints. The more we know about the place, the better.”

“I’ll have my sister dig those plans out for you, and she’ll fax them over this afternoon,” said Celestia. “As for your weapons and tools… Give me three days, and I shall have a veritable armory on your doorstep. Your van may be a bit longer, but you will get it. In fact, I have a contact who has one laying around, but they’ll want to give it a few upgrades.”

I nodded my appreciation. Celestia was being very accommodating, or very stupid. She was willing to shell out a lot of money on this operation that had no guarantee of success. I couldn’t understand how she was so confident in me. Somehow, her confidence made me confident. Celestia didn’t strike me as the type to just take a chance on someone. She must have seen something in me.

“Yo, Senator Lady,” said Dash, immediately stopping my heart in my chest. “The van and guns and shit are cool, but we could really use a plan.” She jabbed her thumb in my direction. “The Big Bossman over here doesn’t have one.”

“I have a plan,” I snarled. “And keep your mouth shut.”

“Sorry, Master Sparkle.”

Celestia chuckled, then shook her head as if she was disappointed. That tiny gesture made my stomach turn. Here I was, supposedly a fearsome criminal mastermind, and my subordinate was making me look foolish and weak. I couldn’t allow that.

“Ms. Regal, please excuse me,” I said. “Dash, a word.”

I didn’t give her a choice, I just grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her as far away from Celestia as possible while remaining in the building. When I was positive that we were out of earshot, I prepared to lay into Dash.

“What the hell is your problem?!” I snapped, trying to bite her head off while keeping my voice down, so that Celestia couldn’t hear us. “You’re embarrassing me. Stop.”

“Wanna know my problem? My problem is that you’re a selfish, irresponsible sack of shit, and I’m tired of it,” said Dash. “It’s been days now, days, and you haven’t so much as apologized!”

“Apologized for what?”

“Squirt! She’s not sleeping, hardly eating, won’t talk, won’t move, won’t do shit, because you fucked up!”

“We’ve had this discussion already. You got tackled, she saved you, so you’re at fault.” I noticed her ball up her fists again, but, this time, I had no desire to fight. That would look bad for me.

“Fuck you! That whole thing is on you! If we would’ve come straight here, we wouldn’t be having this problem! And, on top of that, Spike might not have hung you out to dry, so this job of yours would be going a hell of a lot easier. Face it, Boss, you fucked up.”

It took a lot of self-restraint to not punch her in the jaw. I really wanted to, but I managed to hold off. I turned my back and took a deep breath. When I was as calm as possible, I turned back to Dash. I didn’t want to shout when I said this next bit. I wanted her to understand that this was not a threat. It was a promise.

“Dash, I think we’ve become a bit too chummy as of late, and that’s my fault. So let me set the record straight,” I said, slowly so that there was no misunderstanding me. “I am your boss. You are my employee. You work for me to finish a job and, if you’re lucky, get paid. If you would like to keep that job, to continue paying for your drug habit and providing for and protecting that little ankle-biter of yours, I suggest you learn some respect. And, if you don’t, just think about what termination from this position would mean. You know how I feel about loose ends.”

“Excuse me? What are you trying to say?” she asked. I took a step closer, and she backpedalled out of fear.

“I’m not trying to say anything. I said what I said, and you should think long and hard about what that could mean.” I jabbed my index finger in her direction. “You’re going to shape up or ship out, and I promise you this, you will not like where you end up. Do I make myself clear?”

She remained silent for a few, trying to decide if she should risk a smart remark. Eventually, she made the right choice.

“Crystal,” she said.

“Good. Now, get out,” I said.

“What?”

“Get out. I need you to do some scouting for apartments for us. Preferably not in the same complex. We can’t live in this library forever.”

“Fine. I’ll see what I can do. Watch Scootaloo for me,” she said quietly. She set off, leaving the library through the rear entrance. I sighed tiredly, then ran my hands through my hair. Dash was really becoming a pain in my neck.

“Ms. Sparkle? Is everything okay?” called Celestia. I turned on my heel, a strange idea forming in my head.

“Perfectly fine,” I returned. “But that list we were talking about. I need to add one more thing to it.”

A few hours had passed, and Celestia had left, returned with what I had asked, then left again. She was surprised that I had asked for that. Said I didn’t strike her as the type. I assured her that I wasn’t, and that this was strictly for business. Still, she said she didn’t judge, so long as it didn’t affect my performance.

I had to stroll around the outside of the library for a few minutes before I found her. She was sitting in a shady little corner, as if trying not to be noticed. When I arrived in front of her, she sort of looked past me, as if I wasn’t even there.

“Scootaloo,” I said. Still, nothing. I crouched down and shook her firmly. “Snap out of it, kid. You’ve got that thousand-yard stare.”

“Sorry. Didn’t notice you,” she said. I took a seat next to her, trying to keep a comfortable distance between us.

“Can’t really blame you. You’ve been through quite the ordeal, haven’t you?” She didn’t know how to respond to that, which was fine. I’d prefer to do most of the talking anyway. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“There’s no one to talk to. No one who’d understand.”

“Kid, I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive. If there’s anyone who would understand, it’d be yours truly.”

She didn’t say anything for a bit, but she did seem to wake up a little bit. I took the moment to really inspect her condition. Her skin looked clammy, and her eyes were bagged. I could hear her stomach growl, but she chose to ignore it. The ordeal really did mess her up.

“I didn’t mean to do it,” she said quietly. “I didn’t want to do it. I just saw her on Rainbow and my hands moved on their own.”

“That’s normally how it goes,” I said with a nod. “When someone you love is in danger, your adrenaline and your instincts kick in, and you just act.”

“It was loud. The loudest thing I’ve ever heard. You see it in movies and it’s just like bang, you know? But this… My ears were ringing.” A short bout of silence overtook us. “Wanna know the fucked up part? I still heard the bullet go through her head. It was this wet, kinda squishy… Fuck, I still hear it. Every time I close my eyes, that sound just plays over and over in my head.”

“Kid, it’s not your fault,” I said. “You did what you had to do to protect your big sister. I respect that. My respect is not an easy thing to earn.”

“I wish I didn’t do it,” she said. I could see the tears forming in her eyes. “Why couldn’t there have been another way?” I cautiously reached over and patted her on the back.

“Sometimes, there is no other way,” I said. “Sometimes, you have to do something awful to keep afloat in this world.”

“I think I’m sick… I’ve been nauseous since I did it…”

There. A perfect opportunity.

“Well, not many know this,” I said. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the blunt that Celestia gave me. “But cannabis is quite good for nausea.” She looked at me with wide eyes, then turned her head in search of Dash. “She’s out. Don’t worry, I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Carefully, as if afraid of failing some sort of test, she reached forward and grabbed the joint. I pulled out a lighter and lit it for her, watching as she took a pull. After a few puffs, she offered it to me.

I’d never smoked anything stronger than a cigarette. I found most drugs to be distractions, or more trouble than they’re worth. Spike used to smoke pot, but he quit pretty quickly. Said it didn’t quite have the same effects on dragons.

“Why not?” I said. I accepted the joint and took a deep drag. I apparently took too deep of a drag, because I immediately began hacking up my lungs. That seemed to be the end of the pot’s effects on me. I didn’t really feel any different. I was quite underwhelmed.

“Damn,” said Scootaloo. “Can’t believe you’ve never smoked before.” Immediately, I started laughing, and I didn’t stop for at least two minutes. To this day, I have no clue what was so funny.

“Heheheh,” I coughed again, just as my laughs were dying out. Even in my apparently high state, I knew that I couldn’t make this a habit.

“Wow, Twilight, you are fucked up,” noted Scootaloo. That made me chuckle, but with a bit more control.

“You have no idea,” I said.

Settling In

“Are you fucking stupid or something?!”

“Sorry, Rainbow…”

“I ought to kick your fucking ass for this!”

“I’m… I’m sorry, Rainbow…”

Unsurprisingly, Rainbow busted us for the weed when she arrived back at home base early the next morning. The stuff had a particularly strong odor, and I didn’t much care to hide it. She could yell at the girl all she wanted, it would only make herself feel bad. As for me… Well, she seemed to understand what would happen if she got on my bad side.

“Sorry ain’t gonna cut it!” I sat back and observed with my arms crossed, watching Dash grab the girl firmly by the wrist. “How the hell did you even get your hands on it?”

“T-twilight gave it to me,” stammered Scootaloo, terrified of what Dash might do to her.

“I told you, I don’t give a fuck if the heavens part and God himself hands you a golden joint, you say ‘no’, damn it!” Instead of hurting her sister, Dash just shoved her away. “Get the fuck out of my face before I change my mind and ground you so hard you forget what the sky looks like.”

The girl scurried off, but not before muttering a few more apologies. When she as gone, Rainbow turned her anger to me. For about a full minute, neither of us spoke.

“Did you find apartments?” I asked flatly.

“Twilight… I get that you’re mad. I understand that you’re fucking pissed about everything that’s happened,” she said. “And if you wanna take that anger out on me, I don’t care. Do it. But don’t drag the kid into this.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t… Just, I’m letting you know that I’m over it, okay?” said Dash. “You have a right to be pissed. I dropped the ball. So, if you’re gonna punish anyone, punish me.”

“This isn’t about punishment, Dash. But I appreciate your apology,” I said. She raised an eyebrow.

“Who said that was an apology?” asked Rainbow.

“You just admitted that you messed up.”

“I never denied that I messed up. This was never about me messing up. You don’t think I hate myself for putting this kid into such a fucked up position?” asked Rainbow. “I would’ve rathered Sweetie slit my fucking throat than make Squirt do what she did. All I wanted was for you to accept your part of the mess. Just admit that you fucked up as bad as I did, and we’ll be square.”

She was right. I was being unreasonable, unfair. Regardless of what I chose to say or believe, that fiasco of an assassination went off the rails at least partially because of me. If I was faster, I could have gotten Sweetie off of Dash. If I planned things better, Sweetie never would have known. Or, if I would have just swallowed my pride and ignored Widow… Things could have been very, very different. I should admit that.

I couldn’t.

“The only part I have in your mess is cleaning it up,” I said blandly. Rainbow’s face flared with anger, then fell into blank nothingness. She dug into her pocket and tossed me a set of keys angrily.

“To your new apartment. I’ll text you the address,” she said.

“That was fast.”

“I called Rift to see if he knew a guy. He knew a couple.” I nodded, then turned to head for the door. “You’re welcome!”

“I know,” I said. As I left, I thought I heard Rainbow call me an asshole under her breath, but it could have just been the wind.

Dash had done quite well. In just a few hours, she had found me a decent studio apartment with a landlord that was more than happy to keep his questions to himself so long as I kept throwing money in his general direction. The location was fine, maybe a bit far from the library. Perhaps that was a good thing. It gave me some space from my work, which I never really had before. Maybe I’d end up enjoying it.

I arrived at my new home in twenty-five minutes, and all I really wanted was to take a nap. I hadn’t slept in days, which wouldn’t normally be that big a deal. Something changed about me and my operation since leaving Appleloosa. I felt more tired. Maybe it was the weed, but I felt so sluggish as of late.

I inserted my new key into my new lock and opened the door to the apartment, stepping into the living room. To my surprise, and mild irritation, there was someone waiting there for me.

“Hello, Ms. Sparkle,” said Celestia, her grin causing me to roll my eyes. Somehow, she managed to look past that.

“Senator,” I said, tiredly. “Why are you here?”

“My sister Luna was going to send over the documents requested, but when I found out you were hoping to find a place to stay, I decided to give it you in person.” Celestia beckoned forward for me to step further in. “And I also wanted to give you a bit of a housewarming gift.”

“Hm. I see. Well, let’s have it, then,” I sighed. I stepped deeper into my house, observing the minimal furnishings. Sofa, coffee table, small bookshelf. About what I needed.

“You’ll find a few books on that shelf that I think you’d like,” said Celestia, that warm smile of hers ever-present. “But what I truly wanted to give you is in the kitchen.”

I followed my employer into the kitchen, where she sat at a small, round table. On said table was a chess set, a dossier of some sort, two glasses, and a bottle of whiskey. She gestured toward the seat opposite of her, which I then occupied.

“You take your whiskey neat, no?” asked Celestia, very much so rhetorically. She poured out a drink for me, then herself. “Would you like to play a game? I’ll have you know, I was quite good once upon a time.”

“Sure. I play black,” I said. She nodded, as if she already knew that. It shouldn’t have surprised me that she had set the board accordingly. I looked closely at the pieces, which were gloriously ornate ebony and ivory. The tops of the pieces were inset with small gems, amethyst in the black and what appeared to be alexandrite in the white. As Celestia moved her pawn forward, I rolled my eyes again.

“Is something wrong?” asked Celestia. I took a swig of my drink, then fell into the rhythm of my game.

“With all due respect, Senator, I’m tired of… whatever you want to call this.”

“I don’t know what you mean, dear.”

“You’re trying to… Impress me? Intimidate me?” I scoffed, responding to Celestia’s move with one of my own. “Whatever your goal is, give it up, because it won’t work.”

“What gave you the impression that I was trying to anything of the sort?” asked Celestia. For the third time, I rolled my eyes. Her posturing was really starting to annoy me, and I wasn’t quite sure why.

“When we met, you kept trying to show just how much you knew about me. And you’re still doing it.” Celestia just kept playing, as if she had no idea what I was talking about. “You picked books I’d like, which I’m sure I’ll love. You know I like my whiskey neat, and this is my favorite brand. The chess set is exactly my style, just to my taste. You knew I’d play black, and you set the table with that in mind.” I turned my bishop over in my hands before moving it forward. “The gem in the piece is the most blatant. My birthstone. So, I ask you again, why are you trying to intimidate me?”

I was very annoyed when she started laughing. That damned grin of hers returned full force, pissing me off to no end.

“I’m not trying to intimidate you, dear! Oh, what a waste of time that’d be. If I wanted you intimidated, I can promise you this, Ms. Sparkle,” chuckled Celestia. “You would know that to be my intention. No, not intimidate, not impress. I want to earn your trust.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I find that, in my experience, trust is far more valuable than just about anything, and I want to earn yours.”

“And you think that you can earn my trust by being really good at 2 Truths, 1 Lie?” I asked.

“I know a lot about you, Ms. Sparkle. I’ve known you for quite a while,” said Celestia. “So you should trust me when I say I have nothing but our mutual interests at heart.”

“There are less condescending and controlling ways of doing that.”

“True. But, based on what I know about you, I am willing to wager that this is what you would do if you were in my position. Am I correct?” I didn’t answer, which Celestia took for a “yes”.

“You wouldn’t be the first to try that,” I said. “If you wanted me gone, you could have had me eliminated a long time ago, it’s all very classic. But all I’m hearing is threats for the future. Because when we butt heads, and we will butt heads, you still have all that information to use against me. You’re just threatening me on layaway.” I placed down my rook, putting her in check. “I don’t like threats.”

“No, dear, that’s not my intention at all. You are too proud, intelligent, and talented to be controlled. Manipulating you would be far more trouble than it’s worth,” said Celestia, dodging my check in stellar fashion. “I don’t want you as a minion or a goon or a hired hand. I want you to be my friend.”

“Friend…”

“I’ve been trying my hardest to protect you from the moment I found out about you. The Historian was an old ‘friend’ of mine,” she said, putting heavy air quotes around the word “friend”. “When he informed me of his problem, I inserted Mr. Rift, who I felt certain would refrain from killing you.“

“I outsmarted Rift. I am alive because of my Crew’s quick thinking and my own skill,” I said, my eyebrow raised.

“That is what it looked like, I’m sure. But I promise you, I paid him good money not to kill you. He likely would have found a way to let you escape with your life,” promised the Senator. “And then, when Shining Armor came around… I gave you a prime opportunity to kill him, when I tipped the FBI off to the swords in the hangar.” She could see my anger flare for a second, and immediately went to rectify the situation. “I had no idea he was your brother at the time, of course. If I did, I would have picked a more discreet manner of dealing with the issue.”

“So you’ve just been my little guardian angel, haven’t you?”

As it turned out, yes. Celestia had been looking out for me for a very long time. Every stroke of good luck was thanks to Senator Regal. Widow’s assassination of Fancy Pants was orchestrated by Regal. She was the one who informed AJ about the armored truck. If I hadn’t acted so quickly, she would have puppeteered a way to kill Widow for me.

I didn’t like the fact that she was in the shadows, guarding me from harm. It made me feel weak, stupid. As if I couldn’t take care of myself. She was right, of course, but that was far from the point. Who the hell did she think she was?

“Like I said, Ms. Sparkle, I want to be your friend,” said Celestia. “And, as your friend, I would like to offer you some advice.”

“Advice,” I repeated. I fixed myself another drink, then downed it immediately. “Sure. Why not?”

“Some dogs are only loyal until you pull the muzzle off,” she said. “And Ms. Rainbow Dash is slowly learning to pull off that muzzle.”

“What does that even mean?”

“It means that you need to make a decision in regards to your little protege. I saw the way you treat her, the way you pressure her and lambast her. And though that may have worked in Canterlot, and perhaps even in Appleloosa, it will not continue to work with Spike absent to counterbalance your personality.”

She wasn’t wrong. Dash was starting to run wild, her anger clashing with mine to create a situation where neither of us benefited. If I wanted to continue along my path, I’d need to make a change. And, though I didn’t like what Celestia had to say, I felt a genuine desire to help in her voice. Maybe she wasn’t as full of crap as I thought. Maybe I should be a bit more accepting to her attempts at helping. With Spike gone and Rainbow fighting me, I could use a friend.

“What do you recommend?” I asked.

“The way I see things, Twilight, you have two options,” said Celestia. “You can change your attitude, swallow your pride, and stop stepping on Ms. Dash’s toes.” She set her rook down, swiping my bishop out of place. “Or… Cut her loose. Whatever that means is up to you.”

I took another drink at that thought. There was truth in her words, regardless of how overall unpleasant the situation was. If what Celestia said was correct, I needed to act, one way or another.

“What you said about dogs. Some are only loyal until you pull their muzzles off,” I said. “Do you really think Rainbow is one of those dogs?”

“I think that, given your past involving betrayal, it would be a needless risk to find out.” Celestia looked down at the board, an amused grin spread across her face. “Would you look at that. It appears that we are at a stalemate.”

I looked for myself and, just as Celestia said, the game had hit a stalemate. I could not move without putting myself in check. It was a draw.

“Hm. Maybe you’re right,” I said. Celestia nodded her agreement, then reset the board. I lost track of time as we played game after game, chatting and getting to know each other. I couldn’t confirm how much of what she said was true, but I didn’t care. I just enjoyed being able to talk to someone who seemed firmly on my side.

The Elements Of Harmony

“This place is fucking massive!”

“Largest museum outside of Canterlot. About twice the size of the rifle museum we visited. We need to know every inch of the place.”

“What a pain in the ass…”

“Welcome to the big leagues, Dash.”

Dash and I stepped through the large, vast halls of the Ponyville Museum of Art and History, casing the biggest heist Mythos had ever attempted. The museum was packed, with a permanent buzz of conversation to mask our own. It made maneuvering through the place difficult, but not impossible. Of course, we would be trying to steal the gems, which was much harder than just walking around the place.

“How are we going to do this?” asked Dash.

“That would be why we're here, to figure it out. It won't be easy,” I said. “Let's take a look at the case, see what we can see.”

Dash and I slid through the crowd, maneuvering to the crowning jewels (no pun intended) of the museum; The Elements of Harmony sat at the back of the museum, in a room mostly to itself. Dash and I approached, stopping in front of the glass case. Sitting on a bed of velvet were six gems, each about the size of a grapefruit. We had the exhibit to ourselves for the time being, so we gawked at them for several moments before talking.

“They're big as hell,” muttered Dash.

“The largest gemstones ever pulled from the earth,” I said, awestruck. “Six gems, each found in different places, each the exact same size. According to legend, they used to be the weapons of an ancient band of warriors that defended Equestria from evil.”

“Yeah, I know. I didn’t completely fuck off during school,” said Dash. I was skeptical, and Dash could tell, so she set out to prove herself. “Each gem represents a different trait. The red one is loyalty, the pink one is compassion, the orange is integrity, the blueish purple one is generosity, light blue is laughter, and the pinkish purple one is magic.”

“Kindness, not compassion,” I corrected her. “And honesty, not integrity. But well done, Rainbow Dash. You do know your history.”

“Yeah, yeah, moving on,” she murmured. “How are we gonna snatch these?”

“Well, let's look at what won't work. We can’t gas the place like with the rifles, because this place is too big. I won’t be able to synthesize enough KO gas. We can't break the glass, or an alarm will trip. If we open the case without prior okay, the alarm will trip. If we manage a way around that, we wouldn’t be able to pick up the Elements, because they're on pressure plates. If the weight changes…”

“The alarm will trip, got it. What about a power outage? We kill the power, no alarm.”

“The doors and windows will bar themselves until the power returns,” I said with a shake of the head. Two girls came up to view the exhibit, so Dash and I scooted over a bit, keeping our volume down. “We'll be trapped until we turn the power on, which would require a third party. Also, the alarm would trip.”

“This couldn't be easy, could it?”

“Of course not. That'd be boring.” I tapped my foot impatiently. “Look, we’ve been here for too long. Let’s just head home and grab something to eat. Maybe we’ll figure something out when we have some food in our stomachs.”

“Sure, whatever,” sighed Dash. We headed for the door, walking out with nothing but disappointment. “You know what we need? We need someone who’s job it is to figure out this sort of shit for us.”

“That’d be me,” I said.

“Yeah, but what about when you can’t think of it? We can just be like ‘hey, asshole, think this job through’ and he does it, then we can do the hard part.”

“Sans calling him an asshole, that was Spike.”

“Then we need a new Spike.”

I stopped, struck with an idea that was so absolutely insane that it might just work.

“What?” asked Dash. “Too soon?”

“Give me your phone. Your personal phone,” I said. She did as she was told, and I quickly dialed the only number saved in her contacts.

“Sup, D,” said Scootaloo.

“Not exactly. Look, we need your help here,” I said. Dash quickly snatched the phone out of my hand.

“Uh, I beg your fucking pardon? You can’t just ask her to get into this shit show because we’re stuck,” said Dash. She put the phone to her ear. “Yeah, Squirt, nevermind. We’ll be home soon, we’re gonna pick up food.”

“Ask her. She might have an idea,” I said. “My most ambitious heists were planned when I was about her age.” Dash glared at me. “Look, just ask her. She doesn’t have to lift a finger, just brainstorm ideas.”

Rainbow clearly didn’t want to budge, though the reason why was unclear. It could’ve been the weed, or the Sweetie Belle incident, or our argument after the fact. I didn’t know, and, at the moment, I couldn’t be bothered to care. I didn’t have long before the Queen arrived in Equestria, and Celestia was undoubtedly growing impatient. That just wouldn’t do. The Senator had taken a huge chance on me, and had done so when I was not at my best. Disappointing her… It was unthinkable. I needed to prove that betting on Mythos was always, always a safe bet.

“Come on, Dash,” I said. “We need her.” Dash clutched her phone tightly, then tossed it back to me.

“Quickly,” she said.

I immediately ran through the situation with Scootaloo. I didn’t expect her to come up with a solution to my problem. At best, she’d help eliminate impossibilities and spark my own brain. I wanted a new perspective, not an answer.

“I’ve got nothing. Sounds like it’s impossible,” said Scootaloo. “That sounds like really tight defense.”

“No heist is impossible. Every defense has a weakness. Every armor, a chink in the plates,” I said. “Come on, kid, anything.”

“Well, you… No, that wouldn’t work…”

“I’ll even take non-solutions, that’s how desperate I am.”

“The pressure pads. I saw this movie where the guy needed to steal something from off a pressure plate,” said Scootaloo. “So he just replaced it with something the same weight.”

She was right; that wouldn’t work. Or, rather, it didn’t solve all of my problems. We’d need to deal with the whole alarm thing in order for that to be a viable strategy. Of course, we could always cut the power, as Dash had suggested earlier, but that was a one way in, no way out thing. Unless we had someone to turn the power back on, of course. Unfortunately, we didn’t.

Or did we?

“Sorry I’m not more helpful,” said Scootaloo.

“Oh no. You were worlds of help. I’ll see you at lunch.” I hung up the phone and passed it to Dash.

“Got something?” she asked.

“Yes. But you won’t like it.”

“The fuck outta here with that!” shouted Dash, slamming her palms down onto the table. As a former librarian, her shouting in the new HQ, regardless of how abandoned it was, made me cringe. This was supposed to be a place of quiet. “I’ve been thinking you’ve been losing it, but know I know for sure that you’ve lost your goddamn mind!”

“It only makes sense,” I said, poking at what remained of my salad. “If we want the Elements, and we do, then this is our only recourse.”

“Alright, I guess I was speaking a different language earlier, so I’ll try plain-ass English,” said Dash. “We’re not getting a kid involved in our shit just cause we’re being dumb.”

“I’m not a kid,” said Scootaloo quietly.

“Shut up and eat. This is an A-B conversation.”

“Look, it’s the only way. We can't get around the alarm, so we need to cut it out of the equation altogether. This is the only way to go about it.” I pushed my plate away, no longer hungry. “Show me the flaw in it. Go ahead, show me why it won't work.”

“She's a fucking kid! And you're asking her to help you commit grand larceny!” shouted Dash. “If that's not a big enough flaw for you, I don't know what will be.”

“I'm fifteen,” said Scootaloo. “Not a kid.”

“I’m not talking to you, ya little shit. Eat your burger, we'll talk later.”

“Look, you're clearly not seeing the benefits of this plan, so I'll walk you through it again,” I said. “We rappel in. We cut the power. Pick the case, lift the gems, replace them with frauds. Close the case. Scootaloo restores power. We rappel out. Perfect solution.”

“Except for the fact that we've gotta use the kid,” said Dash. “It's a no-go, and there's not going to be any more discussion about it. So fucking drop it.”

I had no time for this. I had no patience for this. My temper was at an all-time low, and Dash was burning through it rather quickly. As such, I was liable to say some things I wouldn't say normally. I was seeing red.

“Scootaloo, please leave the table. I need to talk to Dash in private,” I said. She nervously stood up, only to be stopped by Dash’s hand on her shoulder.

“Sit down,” she ordered.

“You're not gonna want to hear this. Leave, girl.”

“Sit. The fuck. Down.”

“Fine. Sit,” I said. I myself stood up, and began pacing around the table. “It's time for another dose of reality. We are far past the point of negotiations. My Crew was never a democracy, but now it is a full-on dictatorship. We are doing this job, and there is no other way to do it. No ifs, ands, or buts.”

“Fuck this job. If it requires Squirt getting involved in our shit, then Celestia really will be SOL; Shit Outta Luck.” Scootaloo looked like she was about to speak, but Dash put the back of her hand over the kid’s mouth. “She's not putting a goddamn toe into this.” Rainbow glared at me, then sarcastically added, “No ifs, ands, or buts.”

How could one person be so damn stubborn? Couldn't she see that things have changed? It wasn't about her or that little brat of hers anymore, not that it ever was. This heist was bigger than all of us.

Dash was willing to throw it away to serve her own purposes. Maybe her muzzle really was slipping.

“See, you're still not getting it,” I said. “I’m not asking your permission. This was never a debate. I merely told you what was going to happen. Not what I want to happen, not what I wish would happen, not what I think might happen. What is going to happen.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

“The boss. The person who writes your check.” I stood up angrily. “I'm the only reason you two aren't dead in a ditch. I'm the reason that your bedroom isn't decorated with the girl's insides right now. I stuck my neck out for you how many times? How many people have I killed just for you, Rainbow?” She said nothing, so I kept going. I was on a roll. “All I've done for you and your precious baby sister, and you refuse to pay me back even in the slightest! I am the only reason you are alive and out of jail, Dash, and I'm giving you a chance to make more money than you'll ever need, and you're throwing that opportunity away because you're being stupid!”

“I'm stupid for not want a fucking child involved in our criminal activity?” Dash demanded.

“You're stupid because you still don't get it! It's too late for the holier-than-thou, leave the kids out of it bullshit. Remember Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?” Rainbow bit her lip, making it clear that she had forgotten to some degree. “Sixteen years old, only a year older than her.” I pointed at Scootaloo, who seemed to want to vanish into thin air. “You had no problems with that when we were earning 3 million a pop.”

“It's not the same,” murmured Dash. “They were already in it. Already criminals.”

“I hate to break it to you,” I lied, because I really didn't mind breaking it to her at all. “But so is she.”

“What the fuck—”

“How long did she live in the Laundromat after Soarin was killed? Every heist we planned and carried out while she was there, she's an accessory to the crime.” That wasn’t exactly true, but I highly doubted that she knew that. “We moved to Appleloosa and lived with a serial killer. Every murder committed while we were there is another tick in her column. And that's not even mentioning what she did to Sweetie Belle.”

“What's your point?” snapped Rainbow.

“My point is that she's already got red on her ledger. You can yell about keeping her out of trouble until you're blue in the face, but that won't wipe her record clean,” I said. “So, I say, instead of letting this hold us back, we use this to our advantage.” Rainbow growled, my logic obviously beating her senseless anger. “Look, why don't we ask her if she wants to help? If that doesn't put you at ease, nothing will.”

“Rainbow?” said Scootaloo quietly. “Can I talk now?” Dash’s angry gaze intensified, a feat I didn’t know was possible.

“Go ahead,” she hissed.

“Well, I might be young, but I understand. We're in a bad situation. And we're in a bad situation because I… I killed Sweetie. So let me at least help fix it. I know that doesn't make up for it, but at least let me try.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” asked Dash. “This has nothing to do with what you did.”

“Yes it does. This is all my fault. If I didn’t kill Sweetie, you wouldn't have had to kill Rarity, and we'd still be okay. I fucked everything up.”

Rainbow and I put aside our anger for just a moment to share a glance. Dash looked as confused as I felt, perhaps even more. Was that how Scootaloo saw it? That would explain her guilt. It made a lot of sense, too. In times of extreme stress, the brain sometimes rearranges memories of the incident in an attempt at making sense of it all. This being her first kill, and not one she thought about very much, it makes perfect sense for her to have an incorrect account of events.

I could work with that.

“There's no point in placing blame,” I said. “You did what you did, and there's no changing it. So, again, instead of letting this hold us back, we use this to our advantage.”

“No, back the fuck up,” said Dash. “That's not what went down.”

“Don't lie to me, Rainbow. It's okay, I can take the truth,” said Scootaloo. “Just… Let me help fix things.”

“Squirt… We'll talk about that later. Right now…” Rainbow shook her head, then pulled out a cigarette and lit up. “So your big plan is to use the girl. Besides it being totally fucked up to use a kid, there's another huge problem. She doesn't know shit about hacking or computers.”

“This one task is very simple. I can teach her in three days. The Queen will be here in five,” I explained. “So I have time.”

“So the only flaw in this plan is an ethical one,” said Dash. I nodded. “And I'm not changing your mind at all?” I shook my head. “Well, fuck my vote, I guess. Let's start putting this shit together.”

Finally. I was starting to think I’d have to seriously hurt this girl.

“I need to make a few calls. I’ll be back,” I said.

“Yo, ask your bestie how much we’re getting for this,” said Dash. “I don’t want for this to be all for fucking chump change.”

“I’m sure the Senator will pay us handsomely. I’ll be back.”

I flipped open my burner as I walked away, getting to just out of earshot of Dash then dialing the number of someone who was slowly becoming my favorite person. The phone rang then, after about a minute, the lines connected.

“Hello, Senator Regal’s office, how may I help you?” said the receptionist on the other end.

“I need to talk to the Senator,” I said.

“And who may I ask is calling?”

“Midnight Glammer.”

“Let's see…” I could hear her typing away for a bit. “Ah, I see. I'll put you through, Ms. Glammer.”

“Thank you.”

“Ah, Ms. Sparkle,” said Celestia, her line finally connecting. “It's good to hear from you. Are you enjoying the new equipment?”

“Yes, ma’am. The van especially.” The van I was referring to was a beautiful crime chariot, brand new and perfect. It had a special function that I was especially fond of; at the press of a button, a second license plate would lower to replace the original. Both of them are registered, and it helped the van vanish off the grid if the need so arose.

“I knew you'd like it.” I could hear the smirk in Celestia’s voice. “So, what can I do for you?”

“I just wanted to update you on the job. Things are coming along quite nicely,” I explained. “We’re expected to move out on schedule.”

“Excellent. I knew you’d be just the lady to get things done, Ms. Sparkle,” said Celestia. She wasn’t just smirking now. Based on her tone, I’d say she had a proper grin on. “Oh, and don’t think I forgot about our prior agreement. I’m setting up your meeting as we speak.”

“I appreciate it. Believe me, I am not worried about payment at all. Frankly, the job is enough for me. It’s not every day that you get to plan the heist of the century.” I turned around to see Rainbow talking to Scootaloo.”My partner, however, is getting restless… She’d like to know how much we will be getting to be paid?”

“Hm… 65. That sounds fair, no?”

“Er… That's a bit shallow, actually. I've been paid triple that for jobs half as difficult. As I said, I don’t much mind, but my partner probably won’t be happy with that. 65K is definitely on the lower end of things.”

“I agree. That's why I wasn't offering 65 thousand. That's 65 million, a piece. Let's round that up to 70, because I like you. And that's just for acquisition. For insertion, that'll be another 25. 30 if you do it quickly.”

I’ve seen a lot of money in my time, and let me tell you: 100 million dollars was a lot of money. Easily the biggest pull we’ve ever gotten, assuming we succeeded. As if I needed another reason to complete the heist of the century.

“100 mil apiece… that is more than sufficient,” I murmured.

“100 apiece, or 200 for yourself. Depends on what you decide to do with your dog problem.”

My dog problem. I didn’t like referring to Dash in that way, but it was quick, clean, and to the point. A week had passed since my chess game with Celestia, and her advice still weighed on my mind. She was right, of course. I'd have to act soon.

“I've already decided,” I said.

“And?” asked Celestia. I looked over to Dash one last time, as she hugged her dear little sister, presumably telling her that everything would be okay. I sighed, utterly annoyed by the situation I was in. No matter. I wouldn’t be in it much longer.

“After this job,” I promised. “After this one.”

“Forgive me for prying, but what exactly are you going to do?”

I sighed, running my hand through my hair tiredly.

“Like you said: Cut it loose.”

“Impressive. I wasn’t certain you’d decide so quickly.” Celestia chuckled slightly. “I suppose that’s what I get for doubting you. Never bet against Mythos, eh?”

“I wouldn’t recommend it, no,” I said.

“Of course not. Well, Ms. Sparkle, if you need anything at all, be sure to call my office. Until then… Happy heisting.”

The line disconnected, leaving me with nothing but the task at hand. I couldn’t help but grin at the prospect of the coming job. My only regret was that Spike wasn’t around for it. He’d just have to read in the papers about the heist of the century, wishing he could have been a part of it.

I shook my head firmly, trying to clear him from my mind. I couldn’t afford any distractions. I had work to do.

Everything was finally in place. Dash and I were waiting on the roof of the museum, having made our way up there by way of a maintenance ladder. On my shoulder was a duffel bag that held nothing but a case for the gems, while Dash carried one with various tools we’d need. Beneath the pale light of the moon, we were masked, gloved, suited, and ready to go.

“Hello?” Scootaloo’s quiet little voice just barely whispered through my earpiece. “You ready to go?”

“Waiting for you, Artemis,” I said, cracking my knuckles. “And speak up. I promise, nobody will overhear you.”

“I don’t like the fact that you gave her a codename,” grumbled Dash. “I feel like you’re getting her involved more than we originally agreed.

“It’s a necessary precaution,” I said. “Be thankful I’m not offering her a mask.”

“Alright, Twi—” I coughed loudly, snapping the girl back to reality. “Sorry. Medusa. I’m looking at the screen you showed me. Ready to proceed.”

I gave Dash the thumbs up, at which point she unzipped her bag and withdrew two climbing ropes, one of which she tossed to me. I wrapped one end around a rail on the edge and hooked the rope onto itself, while Rainbow did the same. She dug back into the bag and handed me a climbing harness, which I strapped myself into as quickly and carefully as possible. Since it was a simple climb, it was a simple harness, with one exception; my grapple mechanism that would allow me to quickly ascend and descend without the need of climbing. Just a little something I threw together to make my life a bit easier.

“Harness secured,” said Dash. “Grapple hooked. Ready to enter.”

“I guess we’re good to go, then,” I said. “Rappelling down now.”

I carefully hopped over the side of the railing, pressing my feet against the wall to keep myself up. With Dash just behind (or, technically, above) me, I hopped down bit by bit until I was standing on a large panel window which normally served only to let natural light into the museum. Today, however, it served another purpose.

“Screwdriver,” I whispered. Dash rummaged through her bag and handed me a simple Yankee screwdriver, which I used to quickly pop out the bolts securing the window in place. I pushed the window open and hopped through and into the museum proper. After dangling awkwardly for a bit, I flipped my mechanism and slowly descended until I was about three feet from the ground.

“Alright, Artemis,” I said. “Kill it.”

That was the girl’s signal to kill the power. Since it was night, the signs of that being successful would be the bars lowering over the open window; no more, no less. You can imagine my surprise and general irritation when not only did that not happen, but the lights actually came on.

“Artemis!” I hissed.

“Sorry! Sorry, sorry, sorry!” The girl was flustered, understandably enough, but I had no patience for failure. “Um… Here, it’s this one, I think.” The lights went out and then the thick, heavy iron bars fell over the window frame. I sighed, then descended the rest of the way, my feet quietly hitting the ground.

“Move out,” I ordered. Dash and I quickly shed our harnesses, then slid through the room. Normally, on a lesser job, I’d consider swiping other desirable items, but not today. To steal anything but the Elements of Harmony would cheapen the entire heist. That just wouldn’t do.

I stood before the case with an extremely satisfied grin plastered beneath my mask. I held out my hand, and Dash slapped my lockpicking kit into my palm. I took a moment to absorb the gravity of the situation, then began working on the case.

“Start unpacking,” I said. Dash grunted something, but dropped the bag and unzipped it. She started pulling out the things we’d need for our fakes; a scaled, empty sandbags, a 50-pound sack of sand. Dash cracked her back, stretching uncomfortably.

“Fuck, that was heavy,” she grunted. “Better be worth it.”

“Of course,” I said. I popped open the case, my hands nearly trembling in delight. History was about to be made.

I lifted Laughter from its case, turning it over in my hand. It was lighter than I expected. Far less dense. I handed the gem to Dash, who set it on her scale.

“Two sixty-two point oh one grams,” said Dash. She handed the gem back and filled a sandbag with 262 grams of sand, taking care to account for the weight of the bag itself. While she did that, I withdrew my case from the duffel bag and gently lowered Laughter into one of the six slots.

“Honesty,” I said, passing the orange gem.

“Two sixty-one point oh three,” said Dash, handing the measured gem to me. This went on for some time, measuring Loyalty, Generosity, Kindness, and, finally, Magic, before replacing them with sand approximations.

“And there you have it,” I said, staring at the gems. “The most valuable stones in Equestrian history.”

“You can gawk at them later,” hissed Dash. “We gotta go.”

“Yeah, I guess so…” I closed the case, relocked it, then hefted my duffel up and slung it over my shoulder. Dash and I returned to our harnesses, strapped in, then zipped up to the window.

“Artemis, light it up,” I ordered. After a bit of panicked silence, the bars raised from the window, which let Dash climb out. I was going to follow her when I noticed, just across from me, a security camera whirring back to life. It caught my attention, and actually made me smile. On most jobs, the best case scenario is that we’re never seen. Something groundbreaking like this, however… I’d like people to know that it was Mythos that had done it.

I waved to the camera and blew it a kiss before climbing out of the museum and locking the window behind me.

I sat in my kitchen, drinking a whiskey while reading through one of the books that Celestia had gifted me. In fact, the one I was reading was a title I recognized; The Nexus Dragon Anthology, the book that Spike had quoted in an attempt to advise me. That must have been a coincidence, but, at the same time, it couldn’t have been. What are the odds?

The gems were delivered and planted on the Queen the day before. It felt nice to be in Canterlot again, even if for a small period of time. It made me consider returning to the Laundromat, though I quickly stamped that idea to death. That would be insane. Shining would smell me if I was in town for longer than a few hours. I was in no hurry to meet with Shining again. I wasn’t sure what would happen, but I knew only one of us would walk out of that meeting.

“Thank you so much for taking a risk on me, Senator Regal. You won’t be disappointed.”

“I don’t doubt that you will exceed my expectations, my dear, which is why I wanted to speak with you like this.”

My guests were just outside, which was just fine. I was ready for them. After planting the Elements, I was ready for my payment.

“I have to admit, this is… unusual. I’ve held government positions like this before, but I’ve never been invited to dinner by a Senator.”

“I like to get to know those who work with me. It makes everything run much more smoothly. Makes transparency much easier to maintain.”

I sat down my whiskey, then lifted The Widow from the table and strapping it to my face. It was time.

“Transparency… Yes, I can see how that would be important.”

The door unlocked, and two people stepped in. I didn’t have to look up to know that. I could hear them nearing the kitchen, which meant it was nearly showtime.

“Yes, and I’m afraid I haven’t been entirely transparent with you. You see, I didn’t pick you for this job just because of your knowledge or your qualifications,” said Celestia. “I picked you because of your past.”

“My… My past?”

“Yes, my dear. Come, it will all make sense in a moment.”

I set down my book just in time to see them walk in. I hardly even noticed Celestia in her bright, sunny yellow suit. My focus was on her guest. She wore a blue pant suit, dark blue like the night sky. Her two-toned hair, light blue and white, was done up in a professional bun, and she wore those reading glasses she oh so despised, bracing her golden eyes. As soon as she saw me, fear ran through her. As it should.

I’d be afraid if I was her, too.

“T-twilight?” she said, nervously. “H-how?”

“The Senator is a friend of mine. When she told me who she planned to hire, well, I couldn’t resist,” I said. “I insisted she bring you over for a visit. It’s been far too long.” I stood up, pulling my revolver from my lap and pointing it at my former friend’s head.

“Don’t you agree, Lyra?”

Author's Note

So sorry for the delay. I never intended for this to take so long, but between school, Overwatch, and my friends trying to get me a social life before it's too late, I haven't been writing nearly as much as I should. I will most definitely be fixing that from here on out.

Reunion

“We need to talk. Get down here to the library.”

“Can’t right now. My hands are a bit full.”

“With what? What’s that splashing?”

“Washing dishes. I’ll be over in a bit.”

I hung up my burner and slipped it into my pocket, all the while keeping my left hand submerged under the bubbling, violent surface of the water in my plugged sink. I checked my watch, taking note that about a minute had past. I waited a few more ticks, then tightened my grasp on Lyra’s hair and yanked her from underwater.

“It’s nice, catching up like this,” I said. I could hardly hear myself over the sound of her coughing and hacking. “We should have done this ages ago.”

Lyra fell onto the floor, coughing as much water out of her lungs as possible. She weakly crawled for the door, stopped when Regal gently but firmly planted her shoe onto Lyra’s pant leg, effectively pinning her to the floor.

“Call me old fashioned,” said Celestia, taking a sip of the tea she had prepared while I was “catching up” with my old friend. “But I'd wager that a simpler, more efficient method would be the tried-and-true bullet between the eyes.”

“I don't want to kill her. Yet. Besides, Lyra isn't afraid of being shot,” I said. I grabbed Lyra up and manhandled her back to the sink. “She's afraid of drowning. Deathly afraid. Her biggest fear, she told me.” I glared at Lyra, wishing my fury could cause physical harm. The more ways I could hurt this sneaky, two-faced, traitorous coward, the better.

“Twilight…” hacked Lyra. “Lemme explain. It's not how you think, it's—” I grabbed her by the head and back of the neck, then plunged her head beneath the water’s surface.

“And back into the drink,” I said, pressing her head as far down as possible. I held her down for nearly two whole minutes before pulling her back up. Before she could suck in a much-needed breath, I harshly introduced her gut to my knee.

“It's funny. You trusted me enough to tell me the thing you feared most,” I said, nudging her with my foot. “And I've betrayed that trust. Isn't that ironic?”

“Boss, I swear—”

“Call me that again and I will personally feed your limbs to the sharks.”

“Twilight… Let me explain,” begged Lyra. “Come on, I'm your friend!”

I was going to let her speak. Just get it out of her system before I decided exactly how I'd kill her. But, she said that, and I froze. And I was angry.

“I beg your pardon?” I said.

“Look, I just—”

“Get up!” I grabbed her by the collar and dragged her to her feet. “I didn't catch that last part. You're my what?”

“Your… your friend.”

“You're my friend? Is that what you think? Friends don't stab friends in the back,” I snarled. “Friends don't betray friends’ trust. Friends don't royally fuck friends over! So you're a lot of things, Lyra. A coward. A snitch. A dead mare walking. But not my friend.”

“Twi, I swear, let me explain,” coughed Lyra.

“If you shut up, I might even make it quick for you,” I snapped. My original plan was to drown, yell at, then shoot Lyyra in the head. Right now… I might kill her with my bare hands.

“Twilight, come on, this isn't like you,” coughed Lyra. “Think about what you're doing. How far back we go. I helped you get that job at the library, the perfect cover. I helped design your mask. You can't just kill me!”

“Watch me…” I growled. I pulled my revolver from my holster and pressed it to Lyra’s temple.

“A bit of warning would be nice before you pull the trigger,” said Celestia. “I find the sound repulsive.”

“Then you might want to leave, Senator.”

“Twilight, wait! Wait, please, I'm begging you, please don't kill me!” begged Lyra.

“You ruined my operation. Shining is on to me because of you!” I reared my gun back and slapped her across the face with it. “I can never see him again because of you. Mythos has all but fallen apart, and it's all because you gave me up! You couldn't sit tight just a bit longer, and you fed me to the wolves!” I clicked the hammer down and pressed the barrel in between Lyra’s eyes. “And you have the guts to ask for mercy.”

“I… didn’t snitch…” Lyra spat a mouthful of blood onto the floor. “I swear to god, I didn’t snitch…”

“So Shining just pulled my name out of thin air? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“No, I… Well, I guess I did give you up.” I pressed my gun against her head with a bit more force. “But they already knew! Moondancer snitched first, I wouldn’t have said anything if they didn’t already know!”

I wanted to ignore her and pull the trigger. There were few things I wanted to do more than kill the sniveling, cowardly traitor. But what she just said… That was very interesting, and I wanted to know more.

I lowered my gun, but kept my hand wrapped around her throat. Not tight enough to choke her. Just enough to show that I meant business.

“Explain,” I ordered.

“Alright, alright. Shining came in and grabbed us, told us there was a complication with our case or some bullshit.” Lyra spoke lightning-fast, no doubt so I wouldn’t get bored and shoot her. “He gave us an ultimatum; give up Medusa or die in prison. And I was gonna stand by you, tell him to go fuck himself, but Moonie cracked! She cracked, and she told them who you were and they asked me to corroborate the story. If I said nothing, I would’ve had my sentence doubled and Moondancer would run free. I had no choice, my hands were—”

“Stop talking.” I closed my eyes, trying to decide if she was lying or not. As much as I hated to admit it, I didn’t think she was. Lyra knew me well enough to know that I can smell deceit, so it’s unlikely that she’d even try. Plus, she knew how I felt about liars.

But, in the same breath, I didn’t really care if she was telling the truth.

“Say I believe you,” I said. “Let’s just say, for the sake of saying, that I believe that Moondancer cracked and you didn’t. So what? You still confirmed her story. Still betrayed me. So why is your life worth saving?”

“Because I can give you the one who’s actually responsible,” said Lyra. “If you promise me protection, I’ll hand you Moondancer on a silver platter.”

That sneaky bitch.

“So, let me repeat this back to you real quick, just to make sure we’re on the same page,” I said. “You and your friend stab your boss in the back, your boss who really hates people who betray their friends. That boss threatens to shoot you dead and your idea is to beg for your life by offering to betray your other friend. Is that correct?”

“Look, you don’t want me. You feel it in your gut. Revenge counts for dick if it’s not on the person responsible.”

Oh, how I wanted to ignore everything she said and shoot her dead. It made me angry how much sense she was making. This was supposed to be my one chance to act brashly, just kill the person who wronged me for no other gain than my own personal pleasure, yet here this traitor is forcing logic into things.

“Senator, if you wouldn’t mind terribly, I’d like a word with my old friend in private,” I growled.

“Of course. I really must get going, in any case. I have an appointment in Canterlot in just a few hours,” sighed Celestia. She stood up from her seat and pulled out her phone, no doubt to text her sister. “Ms. Sparkle, as usual, it has been a pleasure. Whether you eliminate Ms. Heartstrings or not… I trust that you know what you’re doing.” She bowed slightly. “Until we next do business. Farewell.”

I never took my eyes off of Lyra as Celestia showed herself out. After I heard the door click shut, I dragged Lyra by the hair over to the table. I shoved her into a chair, keeping my gun trained on her at all times.

“You promised me Moondancer,” I said. “Bring her to me.”

“I can’t,” said Lyra. I think my eye must have twitched, because she very quickly amended her statement. “Or, what I mean is, I can’t get her right now. She’s out of town. Won’t be here for a couple of days.”

“For her, I have all the time in the world,” I said. “Make the call.”

She slowly reached into her pocket and pulled out a phone. I grabbed a chair and stuck it right next to hers, then lowered myself into the seat. As she dialed the number, I pressed my revolver against the back of her skull.

“I doubt I have to say this,” I said. “But one wrong word and my floor will get painted with the inside of your head.”

She nodded gently, then brought her phone to her ear. I leaned up against it, hearing the faint ringing of the line. I didn’t expect it to take long for Moondancer to answer, and I was not disappointed.

“Lyra?” she said. The voice of my former friend made me want to vomit. “What’s the matter? Why are you calling me?”

“You need to get back home, as soon as possible,” said Lyra. Her voice contained a convincing amount of panic, which was no doubt due, at least in part, to the loaded gun pressed against the back of her head. “I’ve been swimming the channels, looking for work and—”

“No! Nothing like that!” Moondancer was whispering, which probably meant she was in public. Having a conversation like this on a bus or something was a careless mistake. “We agreed that we’d do this legit.”

“I know, I know, but shut up and listen! I was looking around, and I heard some chatter from some big players. Some legit dudes who wouldn’t just throw rumors around,” said Lyra. “And word on the street is that our former employer… Well, she’s not happy with our exit strategy.”

Moondancer was much like me; calm, quiet, reserved. If not for Mythos being my idea, she might’ve been the leader. She had a level head, though clearly not to the same extent as me. She also never, ever swore. All the thirty plus years I’ve known her, she’s never cussed more than a “drat”.

“Fucking shit!” hissed Moondancer. I smirked to myself. The fact that she was scared made me very happy, indeed.

“Yeah, that’s what I was trying to tell you,” said Lyra. “Get your narrow ass on a train and be here as soon as you can!”

“Jesus… I have appointments until Thursday…” Moondancer started muttering quickly under her breath, a sure sign of her stress. “I’ll be there soon, I swear.”

“If I end up dead because you took too long, I will haunt your ass for all of eternity,” said Lyra. “Hurry up.” She hung up the phone and put it in her pocket. “There. She’ll be here in a few days. Probably Friday.”

“Good. Now get up. We’re going for a ride,” I said. Lyra’s face paled in horror, the full gravity of her situation hitting her like a freight train.

“B-but you promised,” she stammered. “I gave up Moonie, you’re supposed to let me go!”

“Get up,” I repeated.

“You lied to me!”

“Get the hell to the car before I move you there in pieces,” I snapped. After a short second of terrified thought, Lyra stood up. I slipped my gun in my holster, but kept my hand near it at all times. “Car. Now. We’re going for a ride.”

I followed Lyra out of my apartment and to my car, all the while internally snickering at a few things. First, how stupid Lyra was acting. Did she really think I’d shoot her with an unsuppressed handgun in my own apartment? That’s just another mess for me to clean up. I also found it funny at how scared she was. I decided to let her keep thinking she’d die, at least for now.

But, most of all, I was laughing about how much fun it’s going to be to kill Moondancer.

Pygmy & Apollo

“If you embarrass me in there, I will shoot you.”

“How will I know if I’m embarrassing you?”

“You’ll have a bullet in your head, for one.”

“I’ll just stay quiet, then.”

I parked the van just outside of the library, right next to the pickup truck I had acquired from the late sheriff. Dash had been using it as her method of transport since leaving Appleloosa. I was half hoping that she would have gotten bored and left by now. Unfortunately, she seemed ready to wait as long as required.

“Good plan,” I said. “Get out.”

“You know, you don’t have to be so rude about it,” said Lyra. “Believe it or not, I don’t actually want you mad at me. I sorta like being alive right now.”

“Get out of my van.”

Lyra sighed, but stepped out of the van anyway. I followed her out, then gestured for the door. We walked, the silence almost comically awkward. I almost didn’t pay attention to her. I was more concerned with Dash at the moment. I wondered what she wanted. When she spoke, she sounded urgent. I was praying that it wasn’t another problem. I’ve had enough of those for a lifetime.

It didn’t take long for us to find Dash, sitting near the back of the library with her back to the door. The girl was nowhere to find, probably on account of the blunt in Dash’s hand. Her feet were kicked up on the table and she was leaning back in her chair. When she heard our footsteps, she dropped her chair down and lowered her feet.

“It’s about fucking time. Look, we need to talk.” She spun in her chair, her eyes darting from me to Lyra. “Uh… The fuck is this?”

“I was going to ask the same thing, sweetheart,” scoffed Lyra.

“Alright, follow-up question; Who the fuck are you calling sweetheart?”

“You remember what I said would happen if you embarrassed me?” I asked, very much so rhetoric in my questioning. “Well, you’re embarrassing me.”

“Sorry, Boss,” they both said, nearly simultaneously. I shook my head, then went about the introductions.

“Apollo, this is Lyra,” I sighed. “Lyra, Apollo.” Lyra raised an eyebrow, taking a good long look at Dash.

“You sure about that?” asked Lyra. “Cause, last I checked, Moonie didn’t look like that.”

“Oh, for Christ’s sake… This is the new Apollo. Her name is Dash.” I decided that there was probably no harm in using Dash’s name, since Lyra probably wasn’t in a hurry to piss me off. “And Dash, Lyra is… was… Pygmy.”

“Like from OG Mythos?” asked Dash. “The one who got locked up and then fucked up everything?”

“First of all, I got locked up to save the Boss, and, by extension, create the job you’re currently enjoying,” said Lyra. “So, really, you should be thanking me. Secondly, I didn’t fuck up anything. Don’t talk about shit you don’t know about.”

“Why are you here, exactly?” asked Dash. “I don’t recall asking to speak to you.”

“Because me and Twilight have business together, hoodrat.”

“She’s here because the last time I left her alone, she ruined my entire life,” I snarled. “And Lyra, if we need to go outside and have a little chat, I have a few choice words for you right now. Same goes for you, Ms. Dash.”

Silence fell immediately, which was a beautiful sound at the moment. I let out a long, tired sigh, then pointed to a chair across from Dash. Lyra nodded, then took a seat. I took out my revolver, then turned it over in my hands.

“We’re going to play a game,” I said. “And that game is called ‘shut the hell up until Medusa tells you to speak’. Does anyone need to hear the rules?” No one answered. “Good. Dash. Speak.”

“Look, I’m just gonna cut to the chase,” said Dash. “I want my money. When can I expect to be paid?”

“Jesus… Is that what you called me out here for?” I groaned. “Look, our haul is somewhere around two hundred million dollars, and we just finished the job the other day. Give Regal a chance to get the money together at least, let alone launder it. You’re gonna have to sit tight.”

“What fucking job…?” Lyra seemed to catch herself before she finished. She raised her hand, like a student in class. I rolled my eyes, but called on her anyway. “Sorry. What fucking job did you guys do for two hundred mil? That’s bigger than anything the real Mythos pulled.”

“The real Mythos?” asked Dash, clenching her fists. “The fuck is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’re nothing but a back-up. A replacement. A spare part.” Lyra snorted, which was a sure sign that she was getting annoyed. “Oh, I’m sure you were a fine spare part, but you’re still just a spare part. Any Mythos crew that employs people like you must be an off-brand.”

“People like me?”

“Ghetto pothead druggie hoodrats, yeah. People like you. People who only care about money and their next hit.”

As if to spite Lyra, Scootaloo ran into the library. She was dripping from head to toe, shivering from the cold. As soon as Dash saw her, her demeanor softened slightly. Not enough to back down from Lyra, but enough to worry about the girl.

“What happened to you?” asked Dash.

“It started raining. Hard,” said Scootaloo, in between her teeth chatters. She turned to me and Lyra. “Hi, Twilight. Who’s this?”

“This is a jackass,” said Dash. “She’s the reason we’re in this shitty position.”

“This your daughter?” asked Lyra.

“Sister,” said the girl. “My name’s Scootaloo. Who are you?”

“Lyra. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m gonna go clock up the heat, it’s getting chilly in here,” said Dash, setting down her weed. “Don’t fuck off anywhere.”

Dash stood up and, shooting Lyra an annoyed glare the whole time, left the room to adjust the thermostat. As soon as she was done, Lyra grabbed the blunt and took a drag.

“Didn’t know she had a kid,” muttered Lyra. “Kinda feel bad now.”

“Then apologize,” I said.

“I only kinda feel bad. How long has she worked for you?”

“Long enough that she's justified in feeling disrespected when you call her Moondancer Lite. Stop antagonizing her.”

“Sorry, Boss. She just rubbed me wrong,” said Lyra. “Anyway, I can see why you hired her, but you gave her the wrong mask.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, pulling up my own seat. Lyra looked at me as if I had spit up on myself.

“Well, she's me. She's just like me,” said Lyra. “Loud, brash, hot-headed. Cusses like a sailor and, lemme guess, her first plan for every heist is to kick in the front door.” Lyra correctly interpreted my silence as confirmation. “Just like I said, you hired me twice. Might as well have given her the Crane.”

“She preferred the Griffon. And you and Dash are nothing alike.”

“C’mon, Boss. Name one way Dash and I are different.”

“Dash is loyal,” I said, watching with grim amusement as Lyra’s face paled yet again. Just then, the heater whirred to life. Dash returned a short moment later, her eyebrow raised in utter annoyance.

“So you're gonna talk shit about me being a dope head menace and then you're gonna steal my weed?” asked Dash, shaking her head. “Un-fucking-believable.”

“What can I say? I'm a huge hypocrite,” said Lyra, offering the joint. “And I'm a devout member of the church of ‘puff-puff pass’.” Lyra leaned forward in her chair, occasionally glancing at Scootaloo. “Look, my bad about earlier. I didn’t realize… Well, whatever. Sorry, is what I'm trying to say.”

“Hey, it takes more than that to hurt my feelings.” Dash took her weed back and dropped into her chair. “So… What now?”

By far, that was the most difficult question I'd ever been asked. What next for the Mythos Crew? We had essentially done it all. I always liked moving up in my profession. How do you get more up than the Elements of Harmony?

“For now… we wait,” I said. “Celestia still needs to pay us, and I’m expecting a package in the coming week from Lyra. Until then… We sit tight. I suppose we could heist, but there’s not much point. We’ll never pull that kind of scratch again.”

“Seriously, what the hell did you guys steal?” asked Lyra. “$200 million isn’t something you pull in one job.”

“We lifted the Elements of Harmony,” said Dash. Lyra’s jaw just about hit the floor.

“Alright, I take back everything I said about you being a replacement,” said Lyra. “You stole the Elements! That makes you a fucking legend! Jesus Christ, the Elements of Harmony!”

“What? Is it really that big of a deal?”

Lyra and I turned to glare at Dash in perfect unison.

“Are you crazy?!” we said together. If Lyra hadn’t stabbed me in the back, I might’ve laughed about it.

“That’s gotta be the heist of the century!” said Lyra. “God damn, I wish I could’ve been a part of that!”

“Yeah, like I would let you participate in that after the bullshit you pulled,” I said. “You’re lucky to be here. Don’t get greedy.”

“Come on, Boss, I told you. I never wanted to get on your bad side. If it was up to me, I’d still be in jail, waiting for you to come get me.”

“Yeah, sure. If you say so. In any case, Dash, you’d do well to sit tight and wait for your check,” I said. “There’s no heist that’ll be a step up from the Elements, and we’ll never need another cent.”

“Uh… Wait a second, stop,” said Lyra, standing up suddenly. “That sounds like retirement. No, no, no, you can’t retire. There’s still things to steal.”

“It took me somewhere around thirty years, but I finally peaked. We can’t beat the Elements. Nothing is worth more.”

Lyra hummed in thought, pacing as she did. I rolled my eyes. I couldn’t understand why she was so determined. It’s not like she’d be in on the heist, anyway. I trusted her about as far as I could throw her.

“Hm… What if there is something more valuable than the Elements?” asked Lyra. “What if it’s worth more than just money?”

“There’s nothing worth more than money,” scoffed Dash.

“Say, hypothetically, I shot that little rugrat of yours.” Lyra pointed suddenly at Scootaloo, who had been forgotten in the flow of the grown-up’s conversation. “How much money would it take for you to stop being pissed?”

“Fuck you.”

“My point exactly,” said Lyra. “But what if? What if we could steal something valuable, not in the sense of worth, but in the sense of what it means?”

“So we’re stealing children now?” I asked.

“No! Of course not, you can put a price tag on children. If I needed to, I could sell a child,” said Lyra. “I’m talking about something so valuable that it’s impossible to sell.”

“You’re just talking hypotheticals,” I said. I pulled out a cigarette and began to smoke. “First of all, there’s nothing that can’t be sold. You said it yourself, we could pull a profit off of living people if we needed. Second of all, there is no ‘we’. If we were to do another heist, you sure as hell wouldn’t be invited.”

“Come on, Boss, why not?” asked Lyra. I glared at her, which deflated her slightly. “After all I’ve told you, you still don’t trust me?”

“You’ve betrayed me once. That’s not something I’ll forget anytime soon.”

“Then let me re-earn your trust. What better way to do that than with a heist? That’s how you got me to join Mythos in the first place, you made me rob the liquor store. To prove I could be trusted.”

I’m sure Lyra knew what she was doing, bringing up the liquor store. She had done the same thing earlier, talking about how she helped to make my mask. I wasn’t normally a very sentimental person, but I was very proud of my Crew. Of course I had some fond memories of it, and of course those memories would influence my judgement. On top of that, she was offering me a job that was right up my alley. I’ve always said I was a thief for more than just money. So, just like before, I considered Lyra’s point for far more than I probably should have.

“If there’s no money involved,” I said, tapping some of the ash out of my cigarette. “Then why are you so interested?”

“I miss you, Twi. I miss the Crew. I miss Medusa,” said Lyra. “Well, I miss being on the right end of Medusa’s gun, anyway.”

I flicked my cigarette away angrily. She had done it again. I really should have shot her when I had the chance.

“Fine. What’s the job?” I could see Lyra’s eyes light up, and that trademark, devious grin of hers crept onto her face.

“Perfect! I knew you’d see sense,” said Lyra. “So, my plan is to immortalize the Mythos Crew. To make sure history remembers us as the best damn thieves to ever live.”

“This job better live up to the hype,” murmured Dash.

“I agree,” I said.

“Oh, you two are no fun,” sighed Lyra. “This is monumental! My plan is to steal… The Equestrian Crown.”

I don’t think there’s a combination of letters to make words that properly capture all the emotions I felt just then. My stomach folded, but not in a bad way. I felt like lightning was coursing through my veins. Despite my intense efforts, I think I may have even cracked a smile. What Lyra was proposing… It was total lunacy. Absolute insanity. Only an idiot would dream it up, and only a maniac would attempt it.

“Alright, then,” I said. “Let’s get to planning.”

Regroup

“And you received the delivery without any complications?”

“Yes, ma’am. We thank you for your haste. It couldn’t have been easy, gathering it all so quickly.”

“Oh, it was nothing. Anything for you, my good friend.”

“If that’s the case… I could use some floor plans for Castle Equestria. And guard protocol, if at all possible.”

The library was, for the first time since I turned it into my HQ, quiet. Dash and the girl had gone home, leaving me alone with Lyra. After the fire at Moondancer’s apartment, she had been significantly quieter. She showed no signs of abandoning our heist, though, so I wasn’t very concerned.

“Oh, Castle Equestria? What sort of business could you have in a place like that?” asked Celestia. I could hear her grin through the phone.

“I’d be happy to speak to you about it, though I’d prefer if we did it in person,” I said. “Very sensitive stuff.”

“Ah, of course. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’ll be able to meet for a while. I’ve been quite busy in Canterlot as of late. If you are as speedy with this job as the last, you’ll be done long before I can take another leave.”

“If that’s the case, I won’t have to tell you anything,” I said with a smirk. “It’ll be all over the news.”

“I look forward to reading about it, then. I’ll fax over the documents you asked for within the hour,” said Celestia. “Good luck on your job, whatever it may be.”

“Until we meet again,” I said. I flipped my phone shut. I slipped it into my pocket, then turned to face my partner. “So, Lyra, have you been thinking about the job?”

“No,” she said quietly.

“Well, you should have been. This was your idea, remember?”

“I need a drink.” Lyra moved like a mare dead on her feet, which I honestly couldn't blame her for. “I-I I can't… I need a drink, now.”

“I'm out of whiskey.”

“I'll go on a booze run,” said Lyra, holding out her hand and beckoning with her fingers.

“What?” I asked after a few moments of stale silence.

“It's keys, genius. The universal symbol for keys.”

“You think I trust you to go anyplace I can't see you?” I asked. Lyra buried her face in her palms, apparently too tired to deal with this at the moment.

“Look, I don’t know how else to explain this,” she groaned. “I’m not going anywhere! I know that I’d never get out of town before you tracked me down. And, after what you did to Moonie… You think I’m in any hurry to get on your bad side?”

I smirked, pulling out Moondancer’s broken glasses and turning them over in my hand. I tapped them gently against the table, biting my tongue in thought. Lyra had a good point. I found her once before, and that was when she had support. Now, entirely on her own, she didn’t stand a chance of outrunning me. And she clearly understood that, if she ever crossed me again, she’d go the same route as our late friend.

“Fine. Go on,” I said, tossing her my keys. “Pick me up some smokes while you’re out. My pack is almost done.”

“Alright. I need to get some air…”

I nodded, watching as Lyra slowly left the room. Even from inside, I could hear my van’s engine purr to life and pull off. My stomach turned slightly, and I started to regret my decision to let her go. Even though all logic said that she would do the smart thing and come right back, something in my gut told me that this wouldn’t go well for me.

I decided to use this time productively, rather than waste it worrying. I settled down with a stack of books and documents that should be quite helpful in the coming heist. At some point during my research, that fax from Celestia came in, which I knew would be instrumental to our success. Floor plans and guard schedules, and she was even thoughtful enough to outline entrances that would be easier to infiltrate.

I poured over the documents, committing everything I had received to memory. The South Tower was still an attractive option, but now I had new information. According to Celestia’s documentation, the North Tower had a vulnerability to the east: There was a gap for about ten minutes were there would be no guards due to a shift change. I was starting to lean towards that, but… Celestia had left me with one more option, one that I think would probably be the easiest to pull off.

Eventually, while I was midway through scribbling on maps and jotting down notes, I heard the van pull back up. I checked my watch; Lyra had been gone for nearly an hour. Too long for a booze and cigarette run, but she obviously didn’t run off. Good thing, too. I’d hate to have to track her down.

“I’m back,” she called from the entrance, dragging her feet through the hall.

“It’s about time. I was starting to worry,” I said, not at all sincerely.

“Look who I bumped into.” I looked up, both confused and a little miffed at what I saw. Lyra held a large green bag, which was no doubt holding our booze. To her left, clutching a duffel bag, was a very tired, very high-looking Rainbow Dash.

“Sup,” she said. “Heard we were drinking.”

“I guess we are,” I sighed. “Come on, take a seat.” I stacked my papers up a bit more neatly to allow room for my guests. “My cigs, please.”

Lyra reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, which she then tossed to me. The pack was open, which further added to my mild annoyance.

“I swiped one,” said Lyra, pulling the aforementioned swiped cigarette and sticking it in her mouth. “You got a light?” I rolled my eyes, but pulled my lighter from my pocket and lit her cigarette for her. After a moment of thought, I sparked one up for myself.

“Want one?” I offered Dash. She shook her head, then plopped her bag onto the table.

“I got something a bit more to my taste in here,” said Dash. She started rummaging through the bag, eventually returning with a baggy of coke and a slightly bent credit card. Whoever the former owner was, I hoped for his sake that he had the good sense to cancel the card before Dash had a chance to play with it.

“You plan on sharing?” asked Lyra. Dash shrugged.

“Help yourself.”

“I thought you got clean,” I said. “Mostly clean, anyway. You kicked this stuff a long time ago.”

“In prison, there’s not a whole lot to be happy about. Coke… Well, you grab your pleasures where you can get em, you know?” said Lyra. “And I was resourceful enough to get it.”

“You sound proud of that.”

“Nah. I just don’t give enough of a fuck to be ashamed right now.” She glanced at Dash, who was currently making lines of coke on the table. “You gonna tell her?”

“Does she want to know?” I asked. Dash shrugged, tapping away with that credit card.

“None of my business. But… I can make some guesses.” She slipped her card back into her pocket, admiring the three strips of cocaine she had lined on the table. “You met up with your friend, and only you walked away. Not exactly rocket science to guess that you fucked her up bad before popping her.”

I didn't say anything at first, instead grabbing the green bag from Lyra. I pulled out the pack of plastic cups and the bottle of bourbon, then poured and passed the drinks. I grabbed the bottle, staring at the label for a moment. Dizzy Dragon, Spike’s favorite brand. I sighed, then downed my drink.

“Let's party,” said Lyra, though her voice lacked any and all enthusiasm. She raised her cup in a half-hearted toast before sipping her bourbon. Meanwhile, Dash was ignoring her cup entirely. She seemed focused on the cocaine before her. She brought her nose down to the table and snorted the first line.

“Ooh, fuck,” Dash grunted, wiping away the blood that was making its way down her face. “Fucking tight.”

“Dash, not to be rude,” I said, grabbing my documents and looking then over. “But I'm trying to work. Why exactly are you here?”

“Ran into Lyra while grabbing my blow,” said Dash. “She got me thinking.”

“That's new,” snorted Lyra. Dash snickered, elbowing Lyra in the side.

“Shut up. Anyway, she had me thinking, and I realized that I never paid you back. For Thunderlane,” she said. “You helped me clean that whole thing up. Helped me move Soarin. Saved Scootaloo.”

“What's your point?” I asked. Rainbow sighed, grabbing her cup and draining it.

“My point is that I owe you, and I always pay what I owe. So… if you still want me… I'll help you do your crazy-ass heist.”

I raised an eyebrow curiously. That was a surprise, to put it mildly. Dash had stood her ground before, about being out of the game, and it made very little sense for her to change her mind now. She had nothing to gain, and a whole lot to lose. But, for whatever reason, she was on board. The question now became if I wanted her here.

I hadn't forgotten my promise to Celestia, to cut Dash loose. She was becoming a liability, and it would be beneficial to my future endeavors if I were to ditch her now. But, at the same time… I didn't want to do that. Despite our arguments and butting heads, Dash was my friend. She was a valued member of the Crew, and I don't leave my own. So I was in a bit of a rock-and-hard-place situation.

“There's no pay,” I said. “No money. Just the satisfaction of the job.”

“I don't have shit to do anyway,” she said with a shrug. “Until the Elements money comes in, I'm kinda stuck here.”

“It’s gonna be risky,” added Lyra. “Dangerous.”

“The way I see it, it’s my best bet. If you go down, I go down. My only chance is to be there with you to make sure nothing goes tits up. If I sit it out… Well, won’t make much difference anyway.”

I sipped my bourbon, curiously thinking over what Dash had said. It wasn’t like her to change her tune so quickly or so drastically. Still, I could use the help, and heisting with two partners always felt the most natural. Took me back to the good old days of heisting.

“Alright, then,” I said. “Welcome back, Ms. Dash. Tomorrow, we’ll head over to the castle to case the place.”

“And tonight?” asked Lyra.

“Tonight, we drink.”

“Really?” scoffed Dash. She raised up the black shirt and white skirt “Maids?”

“Housekeepers,” I corrected her. “Try that on. If it doesn’t fit, I need to take it back.” Dash looked at the outfit as if it were a dead skunk.

After three days of casing, our plan became clear. I had acquired most of the materials and returned them to the library. I figured we could take another day to plan, another to get the last of our gear, and three more to practice and research. Almost a whole week until we'd be ready to go. Until then, we'd be in the library.

“Nah, I’ll risk it. Looks about my size, and the less I have to wear this shit, the better.”

“So… Your plan is to infiltrate the Castle’s housekeeping staff?” asked Lyra.

“Perfect cover,” I explained. “We pick three housekeepers, incapacitate them, and take their place. Should be pretty easy to move around without getting stopped.”

“No one would suspect the maids, I guess,” said Dash. “But do we seriously have to wear this shit? This ain't exactly my style.”

“Don't care. This is standard uniform for Castle housekeeping.” I took the uniform from Dash and set it next to the other two. “It's part of the job for a housekeeper to be invisible. They blend into the background.”

“We’ve gotten pretty damn good at that by now,” said Lyra. “So we slip in and head to the Crown. How do we get past the alarm? You know there's gonna be one.”

“Well, this is where things get… hairy.” I pulled my revolver from my hip and set it on the table. “There's no stopping this alarm. Defenses are too strong and this place has backup generators for its backup generators. So… This is going to be a half-loud heist. As soon as we grab the package, we have to leave.”

“What's your plan for that?” asked Lyra. I sighed, then grabbed a duffel bag from beneath the table. I opened it and pulled out about five pounds of C4 plastic explosives.

“Are you fucking serious?” asked Dash. “Your plan is to somehow sneak bombs into the Castle, steal the Crown, and blow a hole in the wall?:

“I'm with her,” said Lyra. “How the hell are we supposed to even get it in there?”

“Hand me that broom on the other table,” I said. Dash shrugged, but grabbed the broom and tossed it to me. I unscrewed the head and showed the handle. “Hollow. Just like our dusters. We can fill them and retrieve it when we need to make our escape.”

“And if we meet with resistance?” asked Lyra. I picked up my revolver, turning it over in my hand.

“We shoot our way out.”

“If we try to blast our way out, we'll only be leaving the castle in bodybags.”

“Only if we try to leave the way we came,” I said. “But, if we have evac on standby and are quicker than quick, we'll be golden.”

“Fucking nuts,” muttered Dash. “And I assume there's no Plan B?”

“Nope. This is it.” I started packing everything back up. “Frankly, I don't expect to have to shoot much at all. If we catch them unawares, we should be able to get out easy. And we'll definitely catch them unawares.”

Even as I said it, I felt a bit nervous. How could I not? This was huge for me, and Mythos. I doubted I would retire anymore, probably just stick to smaller scores to get my fix. This would be the pinnacle of my career. But, all the same, I had this gut feeling that something would go wrong. My gut feelings had a pretty good track record. Just this once, I decided to ignore it. For the sake of the heist, the Crew, and my partners.

It's something I will never, ever do again.

The Queen of Thieves

“Anytime you two want to show up is fine.”

“Sorry, Boss, we gotta walk pretty damn far.”

“Just hurry up. The longer we take to get in there, the more suspicious we’ll be.”

“Hold your horses, we’re almost there.”

I clutched my broom, feeling a horrible sense of vulnerability that I hadn’t felt since I was a child. I was in a skirt. I hadn’t worn a skirt since grade school. Not only was I wearing a skirt, but I had a wealth of highly illegal materials on my person, and I was just a few yards from the most protected, watched, and fortified building in the entire country. If anyone found me even remotely suspicious, the heist would be over before it even began.

“It’s about time,” I said when my Crew finally arrived at my location. We were all decked out and ready to go, each clutching a hollowed broom filled with explosives. “Are we ready?”

“As we’ll ever be,” said Dash. “Let’s hurry this up. I don’t wanna leave Squirt alone too long. She’ll start to worry.”

“Let’s hit it, Boss,” said Lyra, clearly excited to be back in the thick of things. She was a bit annoyed that I didn’t give her a gun, but didn’t argue with me much.

“Alright. When we get there, let me do the talking,” I said. “Stick by me, try not to attract any attention, and, if you’re asked a question, keep your answer simple. Don’t give them anything to work with.”

Lyra and Dash gave me a nod, and we set off down the grassy hill I had been perched atop. We headed for the West Tower, where there was a cargo truck of groceries being unloaded into the kitchen area. That was our way in.

“Holy shit, we’re sneaking into Castle Equestria,” whispered Lyra. “We’ve done some crazy shit before, but—”

“Hush. We’re almost there,” I hissed. We moved with relative ease, past the workers moving crates of food into kitchen. We squeezed past them and into the large, ornate kitchen, trying to get our bearings. I consulted my mental map, planning out the best route to get where we needed to go quickly.

“Hey! You!”

I froze, turning in the direction of the voice. A very annoyed looking man was walking towards me, clutching a clipboard that he was constantly jotting at. He seemed to be the castle’s coordinator. When he reached us, I was already forming my lie. I was just about to explain that we were new maids and that we got a bit lost on our way over, but he beat me to it.

“You three new?” he asked. I opened my mouth, but, again, he didn’t let me speak. “Great, that’s all I need. Three rookies who need training.”

“We know what we’re doing,” I said. “What’s going on? Management didn’t tell us, they just sent us to the kitchen.”

“Those fucking morons… Of course they didn’t tell you, why do that when you can make my life difficult…” He scribbled at his clipboard, temporarily forgetting that we had existed. “Hm… The candidates for the crown decided to hold their debate here, in six hours! We need this place spotless!”

Internally, I smirked. Once again, Celestia was looking out for me. I made a note to thank her later.

“Can do,” I promised him. “We’ll just—”

“You, mint hair,” he said, pointing at Lyra. “What’s your name?”

“Me? I’m… Uh… I’m Hearth Shine,” said Lyra, understandably a bit off-guard.

“Whatever, the South Tower’s floors need to be cleaned and waxed. I need that done…” He checked his watch. “About three hours ago. Hop to it!”

“Um… Of course,” Lyra said. She glanced at me nervously before scurrying out and in the direction of the South Tower.

“Jesus Christ, I’m so understaffed…” grumbled the coordinator. “Alright, rainbow hair, go wash the North Tower windows. I want them spotless, and I want them clean now.”

“I’ll be back in a flash,” said Rainbow. She ran past the coordinator, shrugging at me as she went. Now, I was officially out of a Crew.

“And you, there’s a load of laundry that needs washing and pressing,” he said. “See to that. I expect you back within the half hour for your next assignment.”

“Of course,” I said, just barely resisting the urge to pull my pistol from my concealed thigh holster and shoot him in the face.

This was okay. I had planned for this. I always knew that getting split up could be a possibility, so I planned around it. They knew to sneak off to a bathroom at their next available opportunity, pull out their burners, and send me a message. From there, we’d be able to regroup and set up a new rendezvous point.

“Didn’t you hear me? I need you moving now!”

Assuming I didn’t kill this guy first, of course.

Dickhead said I could take my break now

I received Lyra’s text after I mopped my third bathroom. I was getting more and more annoyed as time went on. Every ten minutes or so, the dickhead to which Lyra was referring would find me, yell at me for my subpar job, then give me another three things to do.

Meet me by the kitchen

I left the bathroom I was attending to, quickly jogging down the corridors and heading for the kitchen. Finally, I could get started on the greatest heist of all time. Lyra was at the rendezvous by the time I got there, and we only had to wait about a minute before Dash showed up.

“Man, fuck that guy,” grumbled Dash. “If that asshole tries bitching me out again, over some goddamn windows, I’m gonna punch him in the dick.”

“No dick punches for now,” said Lyra. We set off for the North Tower, our explosive brooms in tow. “Save it for when we have the package.”

“You’re getting back in the swing of things pretty easily. You’re not rusty?”

“This is the only thing I was ever good at. You think I’m gonna let a few years in the box get me dull?”

“Quiet,” I said. The corridors were bustling, and our housekeeping outfits were holding. Nobody seemed to notice as we worked our way from the West Tower, the Central Tower, and finally into the North Tower. We got stopped for the first time, some security guy who asked us what we were doing. I lied quickly, saying that Mr. Dickhead had sent us to sweep out the treasury. I told him that the candidates wanted a tour after the debate, and he believed me. He let us in, and then it was a straight shot down the corridor and to the royal treasury.

The doors were large and ornate, braced with gold. I dug into my little pocket and pulled out my lockpicking kit. I slipped a pick into the beautiful, intricately carved keyhole, carefully jiggling the pins into place. There was a soft, satisfying click as I unlocked the doors and pushed them open.

Several glass cases lined the wall, each containing some sort of treasure or artifact. I saw our constitution, some ceremonial rings and, right in the back, was a large glass box, the edges braced with gold. Sitting on a bed of velvet was an ornate, beautifully crafted golden crown. I stared at it, transfixed by it’s sheer opulence. The rim of the crown was etched with flames, impossibly intricate plumes of golden fire. My hands trembled as I crossed the room, my sights set on the lock near the top of the case.

“Set up the C4,” I ordered. I tossed my broom to Lyra, then went about picking it. I’m not sure if it was my excitement, or if the lock was really well made, or a combination of the two, but I just couldn’t get the case open.

“C4 is set,” said Lyra. “Waiting for you.”

“Just… give me a moment,” I said. My pick broke, and I dropped it to the floor to grab a new one. “This damn case…”

“Which one of you morons stumbled into the treasury? You set off the silent alarm!”

Everybody froze as the castle coordinator stepped into the room, so preoccupied with his checklist that he didn’t immediately notice us. I pointed at Dash, then gestured to him. She grinned, then quickly jogged over to him.

“I managed to catch it before the authorities were called. That’s all we need, cops poking around and disturbing the workers. Be thankful we’re so busy today, or I would fire you on the spot!” The coordinator looked up just in time to see Dash clench her fist and punch him directly in the groin. As he doubled over in pain, Dash grabbed him by the collar and dragged him nearer to me.

“For you, Boss,” she said, kicking him onto his hands and knees just a few feet behind me.

“You shouldn’t have.” I never looked up from my lock. I pulled a zip-tie from my pocket and passed it to Dash. “Tie him up. If he moves, put two in his head.”

“With pleasure.”

“Who the hell are you people?” groaned the coordinator, struggling futilely as Dash tied his hands.

“Shut up,” I said, breaking another pick in the process. “God damn it!”

“You need some help?” offered Lyra.

“Get ready to blow the wall,” I said. I drew my pistol from my holster, a snub revolver that I had bought recently. I aimed carefully at the case, then fired three shots and smashed the glass with the butt of the gun. “Blow it!”

The plan was for there to be a hole in the wall we could climb out of before I even had the crown bagged. For some reason, I didn’t hear the resounding boom of the explosives. I leered at Lyra, who was fidgeting with the detonator, to no avail. We were wasting precious time that we didn’t have.

A loud, blaring alarm rang throughout the entire castle, alerting everyone to our presence. I quickly bagged up the crown, swearing under my breath. I could hear guards running to our location, which meant we needed to act immediately.

“Give me the detonator!” I shouted. Lyra tossed it to me, and I immediately pulled it open, quickly scanning the mess of wires. Ever second I spent staring at the detonator was another second the authorities had to get here.

I found it, eventually. The circuit was incomplete, which was an easy fix. Just a twist and pinch of the wires.

“Freeze!”

I stopped in my tracks, staring down at the squadron they had sent to apprehend us. Six men, each aiming their standard issue handguns at us. I glanced at my Crew, who were doing the smart thing and waiting for my instructions.

“Drop the gun!” one of them ordered. “Hands above your head!”

“Holy shit… That's Medusa,” said another one. “Twilight Sparkle!”

“Glad to see that I'm finally getting recognized,” I said, grinning slightly.

They hadn’t noticed the detonator, or the C4, which meant we still had the element of surprise on our side.

“The Mythos Crew is going away for a long time,” said my fan. “Put your hands up, now!”

“Anything you say, officer,” I said, slowly raising my hands.

“What's in your hands? Drop it!”

“Get ready,” I said softly.

“Don’t make me say it again! Drop it now!”

“Now!”

I flicked the detonator, which had a much more dramatic effect this time around. The world seemed to rend around the explosion, a blast that rippled reality itself. The shockwave stunned me, and I was ready for it. The unprepared guards had no chance, some of them outright falling onto their backs.

“Go!” I shouted, legging it out as bullets whizzed past us. Lyra and Dash fell in just behind me, the three of us leaping out of the hole and gunning it for our vehicles.

“Follow Medusa!” someone shouted from behind. I slipped the crown out of the tiny duffle bag it was in, throwing the bag to Lyra.

“Take the truck, I’ll take the van! If they follow you, lap the city and try to lose them! If they go after me, head right back to base and wait!”

I can only assume that they heard me and understood, because I hopped into my van before they could respond. I pulled off as soon as possible, followed immediately by Lyra and Dash. We went in opposite directions and, as I had predicted, they picked me to chase.

It was pretty simple to shake them off. I just did a few twisting turns before parking my van in an alley, changing the license plate, and running out on foot. I had stowed a duffel bag with spare clothes (as well as my gun, my knife, and my spare lock picks) in the van prior to the heist, which I exchanged with the maid outfit. The empty bag made a nice home for the crown.

My heart still beating like a drum, I headed home with the Kingdom of Equestria in my bag.

I should’ve known that something was wrong when I got to the library and found the door locked. I assumed that Lyra or Dash had accidentally locked it out of habit or panic. It didn’t matter much to me. I had enough spare lock picks to work through that basic lock, which I did easily.

I closed the door behind me, grinning madly as I felt the crown swing around in my back. The Equestrian Crown, the physical embodiment of the entire country, and I held it in my hands. The power was incredible.

I dropped the bag onto the table in the commons area, our normal meeting place. The girls were nowhere to be found, but I wasn’t much concerned. They probably went out to smoke or snort or shoot up or whatever it is they do. I was more focused on our pull. I lifted the crown from the bag, feeling the etching of the flames against my thumb. I had a strange compulsion to try it on, and I was just about to place it onto my head when I heard a series of heavy thuds behind me. I carefully put the crown back into the bag and turned to face the noise, my heart skipping a beat at what I saw.

Dash stood surrounded by several duffel bags, each holding a large amount of money. She was aiming her gun at me, and she held Lyra by the hair. She threw Lyra forward, dropping her just a few feet from me. Her hands were zip-tied behind her back, as evidenced by her ceaseless and futile squirming.

“What the fuck?! We had a deal!” shouted Lyra.

Immediately, I felt rage boil in my blood. I knew I shouldn’t have trusted her! I should’ve shot her in my apartment, but I let her get into my head. Let her trick and manipulate me. If I didn’t have a gun trained at me, I would make Lyra regret her decision.

“I don’t make deals with snakes, you sneaky bitch,” said Dash. “And you! I wanted her to be a lying sack of shit, but something just felt wrong. I had to look into it and, fucking shocker, you had the Elements money the whole time!”

“Look, Dash,” I said. “Put down the gun. You’re mad, I get that, but let’s calm down and—”

“Fuck you! I’m tired of being on your damn leash!” She took a step forward, clutching her gun more tightly. “You had this money the whole time! I could’ve left, you lying bitch!”

“I couldn’t let you go just yet,” I explained. “I needed you. I swear, I would’ve given you your money. As soon as the crown situation blew over, I would’ve—.”

“There wasn’t supposed to be a goddamn crown situation! I was supposed to get my cut from the Elements and then leave! Do you know how much I’ve risked, how much I put at stake, trying to keep you out of jail until my money came?”

“You had very low stakes, actually,” I said. “You’re an accomplice, and I would’ve taken all the blame. You would’ve done eight years, max.” Rainbow growled waving her gun angrily through the air.

“It’s not just about me, you fucking idiot! What about Scootaloo, huh? You think she could last eight years by herself? She needs me, and I need to be there for her. You wouldn’t know a whole lot about that, would you? You’re a selfish, self-centered bitch, and I’m sick of it!

“And so you think you’re better than me? If I’m selfish, what are you?” I asked. Despite my best efforts, Dash was successfully getting on my nerves. “You get in cahoots with her, and for what? To run! You’re a coward, Rainbow. A weak, selfish, disloyal coward.”

“Everything I do, I do it for her! This was never for me!” she yelled. “And I was nothing but loyal to you! Even during the shittiest parts of our partnership, I stood by your side, and I took it all! And you’re calling me weak? How many people do you know have the strength to stand up to you? To aim a gun at Medusa’s head and promise to pull the trigger.”

“You don’t have it in you,” I said, as calmly as I could. I slowly reached for my gun, hoping to turn this hostage situation into a proper stand-off.

“You’re a danger to me and Scootaloo, and I’ll do anything to protect her.”

Every time she mentioned that stupid kid, I got more and more annoyed, and I wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe it was how broken record she was about her, or how cliche it all sounded. Then again, it might’ve been jealousy. She had her family to protect, regardless of how small and crippled that family was. But me… With Moondancer dead, Lyra a traitor, Shining on my case, and Spike gone… I had no one. I don’t think that fact registered with me until right then. Dash was the only one I truly had left. If I had realized that earlier, I might’ve handled things differently.

But, now, she just made me angry. I left my gun where it was, deciding that I would beat Dash with my words alone. She thought she could betray me? Just steal from me, turn her back on the Crew, and get away with it. Celestia was right. I should’ve cut this pest loose when I had the chance.

“Protect Scootaloo, that’s all you strive for,” I snarled. “Protect her, protect her, protect her, but you’re not very good at that. You put her in danger by your very presence. You said it yourself, you wish you could let her go, for her own sake.”

“Shut the fuck up,” she hissed. I refused.

“You can’t protect her from the world or even yourself. You couldn’t protect her from the weight of reality when she killed Sweetie. You left her there to suffer after everything she knew about the world fell apart. After she ignored everything she knew to be right just to save you.”

“Shut up,” Dash repeated. Again, I ignored her. As long as I was beating her with words, she’d never shoot me.

“You remember Thunderlane? How he snatched her from right out of your grasp?” I asked, watching with sinister delight as she visibly paled. “Think back to it. You had just left the Crew when we needed you for Thunderlane’s job, and then he just so happened to gain the leverage required to get you on board for a job that I really needed you to complete. Now isn’t that convenient?”

Silence reigned as Dash connected the dots, fitting all of the pieces together. She began to tremble with anger, so much so that I doubted she could actually hit me if she fired.

“You… It was you…”

“Spare me your self-righteous anger. What’s the point? Are you angry that you didn’t realize?” I asked. “You should be. It was obvious. But you were too high and stupid to put together the pieces. So high that, as far as you knew, you put that kid you want to protect so much right in harm’s way!” Rainbow lowered her pistol, her fists clenched tightly. “Are you angry that you didn’t stop me? You couldn’t have. I could’ve killed her and you’d be powerless to stop me, because you needed me. You didn’t want to go against me because you always needed me more than I needed you.”

“You drugged my sister… To get me to do what you wanted,” said Dash slowly. “You put an innocent girl in danger because I didn’t want to do some stupid fucking job.”

“You want to keep the girl safe, but you need me to do that. You couldn’t protect her from Thunderlane or even from me. You couldn’t before, and you can’t now.” I took a step forward, reaching for her pistol. “So why don’t you put down the gun. Before someone gets hurt. Before the girl gets hurt.”

That came out wrong. I never meant to threaten the girl like that. I meant to make Dash think about how killing me would negatively impact her and, by extension, Scootaloo. But, as I said, I was angry. Dash was leaving me, and I couldn’t quite cope it. In that anger, I said what I thought instead of what I meant. And, because of that, I accept full responsibility for what happened next.

Dash dropped her gun, leaping onto me and catching me with right hook after right hook. I was on the ground before I entirely knew what was going on. She dropped down and punched me again and again, drawing blood from my nose after only a few quick rights. I tried to fight back, Dash either avoiding or ignoring my feeble swings. She stood up and stomped hard on my chest, punctuating each hit with a loud, angry shout.

“Fuck! You!” She kicked me firmly in the ribs, deciding that she had gotten it all out of her system. As I lay on the floor, clutching my chest, Dash grabbed up two of the money bags and moved them out of the library. She came back for the rest and, when she returned, she was on the phone.

“Yeah, I have a tip on the Mythos Crew,” said Dash. “I wanna talk to Agent Shining Armor.”

“D-don’t…” I gasped, crawling weakly towards her. “Please…” She kicked me in the face, stopping me in my tracks.

“Yeah, Armor? I know where Twilight is. Name’s Rainbow Dash. I work with her. Worked with her,” said Dash. “Yeah, whatever. She’s in Ponyville, Golden Oak Library, you can’t miss it. Hurry up, she’s waiting for you. I won’t be here.”

She hung up and dropped her phone to the floor. After giving me one last glare, she turned for the door and left me there on the floor with Lyra.

“You… You did it again,” I coughed, slowly working my way to my feet.

“I thought you were going to kill me when the job was done,” said Lyra quietly. “And I swear, I didn’t know Dash was gonna do that. We were supposed to take the money and split.”

I slowly limped over to the duffel bag, digging through it tiredly. It was over. At the height of my career, and it all comes crashing down.

“That’s why you wanted to get the booze. Why the C4 didn’t go off,” I said. “It all makes sense now. You stabbed me in the back. Again.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I swear, I didn’t mean it,” promised Lyra. “I was scared, that’s all, and I thought you’d be fine! I never knew she was gonna turn you in, you gotta believe me!”

“I believe you, Lyra,” I coughed.

“Oh, thank God, I swear, I didn’t mean it. Thank you so much for understanding, I—”

“I believe you, Lyra,” I repeated, pulling out the knife I had used on Moondancer. “I never said I gave a damn.” I flipped out the blade and slowly made my way over to Lyra.

“Twilight, don’t do this! If you kill me, you’ll have no one left,” begged Lyra. “You’ll regret it forever!”

“I already have so many regrets, Lyra. What’s one more going to do to me?”

I dropped down next to Lyra, pushing her onto her back. She struggled, but it was useless. She couldn’t exactly leapt to her feet and make a run for it, not with me right there.

“Please don’t do this, please, I’m begging you, please don’t kill me!”

“Stop. Now. Let me remember you with some dignity,” I said. I moved a strand of hair out of her eyes, so I could look at her properly. She started to cry, and I saw something then that I hadn’t seen in Lyra in all the years of us being friends. Those golden eyes showed regret. Lyra wasn’t that kind of person. Even when she did some condemnable, horrendous, reprehensible thing, she never wished to take it back. She always stuck to her guns. This was different.

“If you could take it all back, do it differently,” I asked softly. “What would you change?”

“I-I would’ve waited. No matter what, I would’ve waited for you to come get me. I’d have stayed loyal,” she sobbed. “Please don’t hurt me…”

“You know what I would’ve done?” I wiped a tear from Lyra’s cheek. “I would’ve killed you first. Moondancer would’ve watched me beat you to the brink of death and dump your body. How’s that sound, Lyra? How would you like the bottom of a lake for a casket?”

“Oh dear god, please no. Please! Please don’t do this! I’m sorry!”

“I’m going to count backwards from three,” I said. I placed the blade against Lyra’s throat. “And then, you are going to die. Three.”

“Please, just let me go! I can help you when we get to prison, I can—”

I slashed her throat, grabbing her beneath the chin to keep her still as her lungs filled with blood. I was splattered and sprayed red, but I didn’t care. I was so focused on the pain and terror in Lyra’s eyes. It was the look of someone who had their worst fear realized in a way that they could never have imagined.

“One,” I said softly. Lyra kicked and fought, unaware that every movement brought her closer to death’s door. I sat by her side, watching as the life left her body and her eyes becoming little dull, glassy orbs stuck in her head. When she stopped moving, I wiped the blood off as much as I could, then grabbed Dash’s phone. I redialed the last connected number, then put the phone to my ear.

“Agent Armor, and look, I’m really busy, so this better be important.”

It had been so long since I last heard my brother’s voice. Even though he was technically the enemy, it was nice. I wondered, when he thought of me, how often Twilight Sparkle came to mind. How much of Medusa has clouded his mind? Does he remember the heister or the librarian more?

“Hello, Shiny,” I said weakly. “Where are you?”

There was a spell of silence. That silence was terrible. Any response, good or bad, would be better than that silence.

“On your tail. Why are you calling me?”

“I want to turn myself in.”

“And I’m supposed to just take your word for that?” asked Shining. “How am I supposed to trust you?”

“About an hour ago, I blew a hole in the side of Castle Equestria. Someone will get me soon. I’d rather it be you,” I explained. “I’ll come in easy, I promise. Just not in Ponyville.” Another bout of silence, but not quite like the other. I could tell that he was thinking it over. Carefully considering what I was saying.

“Where?” he demanded. I sighed, pushing myself to my feet.

“I’ll send you the address when I get there. It’s in Canterlot,” I said. “I’ll come easily. I just want to talk first.”

“Last time I talked first, I ended up with a bullet to the lower back.”

“That was last time. This time, I’m all alone and at the end of my rope.”

Heavy Is The Head

“A laundromat?”

“I’ll explain it when you get in.”

“I’m right outside.”

“See you soon.”

It was hours ago that I made the drive from Ponyville to Canterlot. I grabbed my van from the alley, loaded it with all of my stuff, and drove. I suppose I should’ve been upset, or sad, but I wasn’t. I was calm. At the end of the day, I did get most of what I wanted. Dash was out of the way, Lyra was dead, and I had successfully completed the greatest heist of all time. Perhaps getting arrested wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world. At least I’d be able to see Shining again.

Shining Armor limped through the door, moving quite briskly despite the cane. He moved almost as if he didn’t need it, which he probably didn’t. Most likely, it was just to keep Cadance off his back. Shining was clearly on his guard, which was understandable. Last time we saw each other, he ended up shot. I’d be cautious too.

“Hello, Shiny,” I said. “It’s good to see you.”

“You look like hell,” he said. He was right, of course. My lips was still bleeding slightly, my face was speckled with a bit of blood from Rainbow’s beatdown. My eye seemed to be blackening, swelling slightly closed.

“Feel like it. But I feel better now. Come in, we have a lot to talk about.”

“I’ll say. You have a lot to answer for.”

“If you only knew.” I strolled over to my dryer, which had been unlocked since we left for Appleloosa, and tipped it on its side. I beckoned for Shining to follow me, then quickly descended the ladder. Shining followed me, a bit more slowly, and we set out for the Mythos HQ. Home.

“Sorry about the ladder,” I said. “There was no way to put in stairs or something.”

“I’m fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

I nodded, pushing open the double doors and stepping into the Planning Room. God, how I missed it. Being there made everything feel like it would be fine, even though I knew it couldn’t be.

“Jesus… How did you manage all of this?” asked Shining.

“I never needed money, so I could devote most of my earnings to upgrades and whatnot,” I said. “As for the location… Well, this basement already existed. Used to be for storage and things. Spike knew a guy who closed it off and modified it for our needs.”

“Insane…”

I crossed the room, through some unbreakable habit, to the chessboard. It was still set, waiting all this time for its masters to return for a game. Now, it didn’t need to wait anymore. I slung my duffel bag to the ground, then took a seat.

“Would you care for a game?” I asked. “One last game?”

“I came to arrest you, not play games,” said Shining.

“You can do both. Just one more game.”

Shining stared at me, searching for the truth. After a moment, he took a seat across from me and moved his pawn forward. I smiled slightly, moving a pawn of my own.

“Who broke your face?” he asked.

“Former associate. Employee, actually. I voiced my disapproval for her resignation, we got into an argument,” I said. “She then proceeded to kick my ass.”

“Hm. She’s the one who made the call. Where’s Spike?”

“No clue. I haven’t spoken to Spike in… Well, too long. Last I saw of him, he was in Appleloosa. Probably long gone by now.”

“He’ll turn up someplace. Now that we know who we’re looking for,” said Shining. “Maybe he’ll come quietly now that you’re in custody.”

“I don’t think so. He seemed to be laying low for good. He’s out of the game,” I explained. I hummed lightly, happy to be with my brother despite the circumstances. “What did you tell Flurry? About me?”

“The truth. I don’t like to lie to my daughter,” said Shining. I nodded. I figured as much, but I dared to hope.

“Does she hate me?”

“She’s a kid. She doesn’t truly have the capacity to hate. She just wants to understand what’s wrong with Auntie Twilight.”

“Could I talk to her?” I asked. “I don’t want her to think that I don’t love her anymore.”

“When you’re in the box, I’ll let Caddy know that you’re asking about visiting. I can’t make her go, and I wouldn’t even if I could. Her decision.”

“That’s more than good enough. Thank you,” I said. Shining was different than the last time we spoke. He probably sensed the surrender in my voice. He was much calmer than before. Of course, that might’ve had something to do with the fact that there were no windows around for him to be sniped through.

“What changed?” asked Shining. “Why come easily now?”

“I intended to turn myself in last time, too. The only reason I didn’t is because Spike intervened, and I didn’t want him to have shoot you for nothing.”

“How thoughtful of you. But you could’ve came in ages after that, and you didn’t. So why now?”

I took a minute to think about that. Why now? What was truly different? Was it because I had been to the top of the mountain already? I had nothing left to lose. I’m sure that was a part of it, but the truth was a bit simpler.

“Because you would’ve caught me eventually. Without my Crew, I’d never be able to outrun you,” I said. “Not on my own. And I decided that I’d go down my way. Not to some random badge, but to my brother. God knows you’ve earned it.”

“I’ll say. Of course my last case would drive on for so long,” mumbled Shining. “You know, I never once considered retirement until that night at dinner. That was right around the time I found out the truth. My sister is a dirty criminal.

“Why are you so angry? So bitter? My job doesn’t change who I am,” I said. “I’m still the same Twilight you’ve always known. Every conversation, dinner, and game of chess we shared still counts for the same, regardless of my true occupation. I’m not a murderer. I’m just a thief. And it’s not like I’m stealing food out of people’s mouths. I don’t rob the poor.”

“So now you’re Robin Hood? A thief with honor and good intentions?”

“I never said that. I just don’t understand the hate you have for something that you don’t understand.”

“I understand just fine,” said Shining. “It’s really quite simple. You take things that aren’t yours. You use fear and deceit to get what you want. You put innocent people in danger to stretch your bank account. You hide behind a mask because you’re afraid of the world seeing who you are. And no explanation of things that I’ve heard so far has made me change my stance on it.”

“Did you know that I have fans? I’m quite famous in the criminal underground,” I said. “The Silk Road especially, there were blogs and webpages dedicated to Mythos. Fans. I have adoring fans, people begging me to reach out to them and grace their pitiful lives with my greatness.” I shook my head, remembering the fervor and fanaticism of some of my followers. “Their words, not mine.”

“Where are you going with this?”

“I have nicknames. The Snake God. The Serpent. But, my absolute favorite, the one I resonate with most… The Queen of Thieves. I love it. Gives me chills. I’ve been the Queen for years. People look up to me, idolize me, maybe even worship me. And, before all of that, I read books for a living. From the looking at dusty books to being revered as a god.”

“A god to psychos and scumbags on the internet.”

“But a god nonetheless. I got into my business for the same reason that you got into yours,” I explained. I grabbed my duffel and moved it closer so that I’d be able to show Shining what it contained.

“I became an agent to put criminals like you away,” said Shining. “I did it to maintain justice and order. You’re just selfish.”

“No, you didn’t. If you wanted justice, you’d have been a lawyer or a judge. But you went into law enforcement, to the highest level we have. Because you like the rush. The high that comes when you’re getting shot at,” I said. “The thrill of catching the son of a bitch that’s caused you so much trouble. We seek the same thrills, Shining.”

“But, even if what you said was true, I still seek my thrills within the confines of the law,” pointed out Shining. I shrugged, not committing to the notion that he had a fair point. I knew I’d never win the argument. I just wanted to prove a point.

“Why attack the castle?” asked Shining. “What did you want?”

“Let me show you,” I said. I zipped open the duffel and slowly lifted out the Crown. His eyes grew wide as I set it on the table next to our board. “Impressed?”

“Jesus… Why bother? You couldn’t sell this. No one would touch it,” said Shining. “And you wouldn’t be able to sleep, you’d have to be on the run every minute of every day or you’d be found.”

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown,” I said with a light chuckle. I glanced down into my duffel, then pulled my masks from its depths. It had been what felt like years since I last donned the Gorgon. It felt strange to look at it now. The last of the original Mythos masks. Her brothers and sisters were all gone now. I set the masks down, tracing along the Gorgon’s face with my thumb.

“Where’d you get that other one?” asked Shining.

“Let’s call her a friend, but that’s a story I don’t feel like getting into right now. Perhaps when you come visit me, I’ll tell you all about it,” I said. I stood up, my eyes still drawn to my mask. It was time. “Alright, Shining. I’m ready to go. You can call it in now.”

“Good. It’s time for this to finally end,” said Shining. He pressed his finger to his earpiece. “Agent Armor, calling in an arrest. Yeah, I got her. She’s coming now. Send a car. Address is 5301 Trotters Street.”

I reached into my duffel bag and grabbed my revolver, aiming it at my brother’s chest. His eyes grew wide, and he quickly reached for his gun.

“What the f—”

I fired twice, impacting him in the chest. He stumbled backwards, reaching for his gun before lurching forward and collapsing onto the chessboard. Pieces toppled to the ground, dropping into the ever-growing pool of blood on the floor. My brother tried futilely to work his way back up, dropping back down after I emptied my last four bullets into his back.

I glanced down, past my brother with six holes in his midsection and to the floor, where the white queen had fallen on its side. I lifted the piece out of my brother’s blood, studying the new red half of the piece. I placed it on the table, next to my masks. After a moment of thought, I pulled Moondancer’s glasses from my pocket and set them down next to the chess piece.

I took the crown from the table, placed it on top of my head, then headed to the surface in wait for the men who would come and take me away.

“Why did you kill Shining Armor?”

“No clue.”

“You don’t just murder someone unless you have a good reason, especially not your brother.”

“Maybe you don’t understand me as well as you like to think.”

Twilight leaned forward, surveying the courtroom curiously. She hadn’t given this moment much thought. Her story was finally over. What could possibly be next? She supposed she’d be sentenced and taken away. She wondered how many years she’d be given in prison. Not that it much mattered. Killing an FBI agent is twenty years on its own, and then there were all of the heists, murder, and acts of vandalism. Any of the likely sentences would probably be too long for her to even consider seeing the light of the outside before she died. She wasn’t as young as she used to be. Her years were numbered, and prison would do nothing to prolong her life.

“You killed your brother for nothing? Is that what you want us to believe?” asked the prosecutor.

“I don’t care what you believe,” said Twilight. “I told the truth. Whether you believe or not is your choice. For all you know, I Iied about everything. Maybe I didn’t kill Lyra. Maybe I killed Rarity unprovoked. Maybe I never worked with Celestia. Not that it matters.” Twilight smirked. “Perhaps we should reevaluate how we elect our leader. Or, at the very least, remove the sovereign immunity doctrine. I can see how having a king or queen completely immune to the law can be problematic.”

“It doesn’t make sense.”

“Some things don’t. Some things are just the way they are,” said Twilight. “You can’t explain most things in the world, least of all people. We are illogical at best. Most people don’t know why they do anything they do.”

“But you’re not most people. You’re an anomaly. A deviation. You never do anything without a purpose. So, Twilight Sparkle, why did you murder your brother?”

Twilight stared ahead, her eyes dead and unfeeling. She looked past the prosecutor, through him, as if he were made of glass. She remained silent for a spell, collecting her thoughts.

“Because he was there,” said Twilight. “Because I hated him. Because he hated me. Because everything in my life had gone to shit, so why shouldn’t his? Because I’m a bad person who does bad things and I can’t help it. Because I have two sides. There’s Twilight Sparkle and there’s Medusa, and Medusa acted in a way that Twilight Sparkle probably wouldn’t have.” She leaned forward, resting her chin in her palms. “Is that what you wanted to hear? Did you want to hear that I regret it? Because I don’t. If I had to, I’d kill him again. I’d kill Cadance. I’d kill Flurry. I'd kill them all, again and again, if I had to.”

“No further questions,” said the prosecutor, clearly disturbed.

“Oh. So that’s what you wanted to hear,” chuckled Twilight. “It’s funny how easy you are to manipulate.”

“You’re going to jail, Ms. Sparkle. Who cares if you can manipulate me? I still won.”

“No, sir. You won the case.” Twilight grinned mischievously. “But I still won the game.”

Crime Doesn't Pay

“This’ll be our room. I don’t have many rules, just keep your half clean.”

“Hm.”

“Lunch is in twenty, you’re gonna want to eat even if you’re not hungry. You won’t be getting any commissary for at least two weeks.”

“Alright.”

Twilight was hardly listening to her cellmate. Though she had never been arrested before, she knew how prison worked. It was simple. All she had to do was mind her business, do her work, and be where she was supposed to be. If she stood to herself, she would be fine.

“You good? This place can be a bit overwhelming,” said Shimmer. She introduced herself by her surname, which she said was the procedure in the prison. Twilight had ignored this and gave her full name, truly unconcerned with the place she found herself.

“I’m fine. Introduce me to some of the other prisoners.”

Shimmer nodded, then led Twilight out of the cell. They strolled around the block, chatting to most of the prisoners they came across. Shimmer avoided a few, but those that she did speak to where nice enough. Twilight barely paid attention to her neighbors, keeping her responses to simple hellos and goodbyes. When they had spoken to just about everyone, it was about time for lunch, so Shimmer directed her towards the cafeteria.

“All the jokes about prison food are kind of unfair,” said Shimmer, passing through the line with Twilight right behind her. “It’s not that it’s disgusting, it just doesn’t taste like shit. So, my advice is to go heavy on the salt and pepper, and get yourself some hot sauce as soon as you get some commissary.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small orange bottle “Here, I got some spare honey mustard, take it.”

“Thanks,” said Twilight. She took the bottle, wondering why Shimmer was being so nice to her. “Anything else I should know?”

“Uh, yeah, you’re gonna want to spend your comm cash wisely. I don’t know if you have someone sending you money, but your job won’t pay much. When you shop, you should grab your snacks and drinks and whatnot before anything else,” said Shimmer. “The commissary never runs out of toiletries and lady stuff, but they always run out of snacks. People will clear out the commissary and hoard the product so they can raise the price or get favors. Try not to take anything from people, because nothing is free around here.”

Twilight wasn’t listening. She was staring towards the center of the cafeteria. Shimmer noticed, frowning slightly.

“Hey, you should really pay attention,” said Shimmer. “I’m giving you some grade-A prison strategy. I could be charging for this shit.”

“Sorry, I was just distracted,” said Twilight. She pointed across the room.“Who’s that over there?” Shimmer turned, her face immediately going pale when she saw who Twilight was looking at. A prisoner near the back who was massive, matching Twilight’s height from his sitting position. He looked as though he could break Twilight in two with his bare hands.

“Stop pointing, right the fuck now,” hissed Shimmer. She practically dragged Twilight through the line. She sat her down, then pulled another bottle from her pocket which she used to douse her food.

“So? Who is he?” asked Twilight.

“His name is Biceps.”

“Biceps?”

“Look, I didn’t name him. Anyway, he’s a bad dude. Don’t cross him,” said Shimmer. “Matter of fact, don’t talk to him. Don’t look at him. Don’t say his name. He’s a bad guy.”

“I’m no saint, myself,” said Twilight.

“No shit, but this guy… He runs the block. You want something, you get it from someone who gets it from him. Everything goes through Biceps. You piss him off, you end up shanked in the shower by the end of the week.”

“Hm. He has a crew?”

“Hell yeah, he has a crew. That’s why you gotta be careful. These walls have ears,” warned Shimmer. “And eyes. And shivs. So don’t talk shit about Biceps.”

“How do you get into his crew?” asked Twilight. Shimmer dropped her fork, staring at her new roommate.

“You don’t. You don’t want that. If one of Biceps’ guys makes even a tiny mistake, they get whacked,” said Shimmer. “And that’s assuming you even get in, which you won’t. You don’t just fill out an application, give in your resume and send a letter of recommendation. Biceps picks you if he wants you, and he doesn’t want a freshie like you.”

“Of course. Just curious,” said Twilight. “I’m stuck here for a very long time. I want to know as much as I possibly can.”

Twilight lay in her bunk, staring up at the ceiling in thought. It was still strange, referring to it as her bunk. All of her years heisting, she never thought she’d see the inside of a prison cell. Now, over a year later, she was calling this place home.

“Got something for ya,” said Shimmer. In the time since meeting, the two had become rather close friends, close enough that Shimmer had shared her first name with Twilight.

“I told you to stop slipping me snacks, Sunset” said Twilight. “You’re gonna get me fat.”

“Start going to lunch and maybe I won’t have to,” said Shimmer. “Besides, it wasn’t snacks I was talking about. You got mail.”

“I never get mail.”

“Thus the announcement. It’s from someone with the initials H.A.R. Mean anything to you?” asked Shimmer, handing Twilight the letter.

“No. Probably some reporter trying to buy my story,” sighed Twilight. She split open the envelope and pulled out the letter. Immediately, she was intrigued. The letter was slightly scorched around the edges, as if the letter had been left too near a fireplace overnight. Twilight read the letter over three times, a grin spreading across her face.

“Well? Don’t leave me in anticipation,” said Shimmer. “What’s it say?”

“A friend of mine is coming to visit,” said Twilight. “A friend I haven’t spoken to in quite a while. He said to expect him two weeks from now.”

“That’s good. I’m happy for you,” said Shimmer. “Anyway, I gotta head to work. Keep out of trouble, Twilight.”

“Not on your life,” said Twilight with a devious smirk. Shimmer chuckled, then left the room to go to her prison-appointed job. Twilight smirked, amused by Shimmer’s assumption that she was joking.

“I’ve always been bad at that,” Twilight mumbled to herself, making a mental list of the things she’d need to gather in the next two weeks.

Twilight Sparkle was ready for her visit long before the day of the event. She had everything she needed. She could hardly sit still the day of the event. Shimmer noticed it when she went to meet up with Twilight for lunch.

“You still never told me who’s coming,” said Shimmer. “Who has you so excited?”

“It’s complicated,” explained Twilight. “And that’s all I’m going to say.”

“Fair enough. Well, the sooner we get to lunch, the sooner you get your visit. Let’s go.”

The two proceeded to the cafeteria and through the line, just as they always did. They sat near the back, their favorite table, and chatted idly while they ate. Shimmer always seemed to know the goings-on of the prison before anyone else, which was very useful to Twilight, who wanted to learn everything she could about how the prison worked. In return, Twilight had several stories from her past that Shimmer found to be extremely interesting. Their relationship was mutually beneficial, which is why Twilight thought they got along as well as they did.

“So we’re supposed to be getting a new busload of inmates from the South,” said Shimmer. “Some place in Appleloosa, I think. Warden doesn’t know really what to do with all of us, so we’re gonna be packed like sardines in a couple of weeks.”

“Hm. I imagine that we’ll be fine,” said Twilight. “Some of us are bound to be released soon enough, that’ll help. And I know a couple of girls who are getting moved to minimum security.”

“Yeah, but still,” sighed Shimmer. “This place fucking sucks. I need to talk to a lawyer about getting transferred to some place I can breathe,” She glanced at Twilight, regretting her statement. “Not that I’m in a hurry to leave you behind or anything. I’ll miss you when I’m gone, it’s just—”

“Shimmer. I get it,” said Twilight. “Don’t worry about it, I get it.” She glanced to the entrance, where, just on time, Biceps was strolling into the cafeteria. “Hey, Shim. I’ll be back.”

Twilight stood up, ignoring Shimmer’s protests. She made a beeline for Biceps, intercepting him at the food line. For a moment, Biceps didn’t even notice her. Twilight remained silent, waiting for her presence to be acknowledged. Biceps turned slightly, looking down at the woman beside him.

“What do you want?” he asked. Twilight reached into her pocket, strolling alongside Biceps.

“It’s my understanding that you’ve run the prison for quite a while,” said Twilight.

“What of it?”

Twilight pulled a sock from her pocket, in which there was a hard, metal padlock. Before Biceps could move, Twilight swung at his head, catching him with enough force to bring him to his knees. Twilight whipped her improvised flail wildly into Bicep’s face, battering him into a bloody mess.

“Not anymore,” said Twilight. She dropped the bloody sock, raising her hands above her head as the guards swarmed her. She allowed herself to be handcuffed easily and hauled away, a smile plastered on her face the whole time.

“What the hell?” Shimmer stared, utterly perplexed at what just occurred. Twilight merely smiled as she was ushered out of the cafeteria, towards the Security Housing Unit. She ignored all of the guards shouts of giving out shots and spending up to a week in solitary. She didn’t care. Why would she? Twilight had far more pressing things on her mind.

She had a visitor on their way, and she needed to be ready.

Twilight had lost track of how many days she had been in solitary confinement. Based on the number of meals she had received, she reasoned it must’ve been three. The guards that had shoved her into her box never said exactly how long she’d be stuck there, but that ultimately didn’t matter. Twilight knew that, for beating her fellow inmate half to death, she’d be in the SHU for quite a long time.

Her room was closet-size, so small that Twilight could touch both walls by spreading her arms. It contained only her thin, stiff bed, a dirty, grimy toilet, and an equally grungy sink. The door was the same dull, dreary grey as the walls, with a slot near the bottom to allow for air circulation and for food to be slid in.

Twilight stood in front of her sink, brushing her teeth. The guards hadn’t even given it to her, she had been forced to buy it and keep it on her person beforehand. As she was rinsing the vileness of the previous night’s meal from her mouth, there was a knock at the door. Twilight smirked. She didn’t know what day it was, but she knew that it was too soon for another meal.

“Yes?” she said, spitting into the sink. “How may I help you?”

A tray slid through the slot. Sitting on the tray was a respirator mask, one that Twilight recognized. She had used one similar, if not the exact mask, for the Museum heist. She smirked, then grabbed her sheet from her bed. She soaked it in cold water for a bit, then slipped the respirator onto her face. She slid the tray back out, pressed the cold sheet over her eyes and, still clutching her toothbrush, knocked on her side of the door.

A faint hiss slithered through Twilight’s cell, the room growing a bit warmer. Despite her improvised protection, her eyes still burned slightly, though it was nothing that she couldn’t persevere through. She waited patiently, about ten minutes passing before the hissing died. She heard the click of a lock, then a heavy thunk of her door swinging open. She pulled the sheet and mask from her face, grinning at what she saw.

“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” said Twilight. “You know, you could’ve wrote to me. You didn’t have to go through all this trouble just to say hello.”

“Fuck off.” If Twilight hadn’t been expecting her, she might not have recognized Dash. She wore a drab, grey prison guard uniform, carried herself more stiffly. She even cut her hair to fit with regulation. Without another word to Twilight, she went on down the hall. Twilight took her toothbrush and followed her.

“Where’s evac?” asked Twilight.

“Window upstairs,” said Dash flatly. “We rappel down. Rift is waiting for us.”

“Mh-hm. Who cooked up the knockout gas?”

“Who do you think?”

Twilight didn’t respond, but she clutched her toothbrush just a bit tighter. She followed her former partner from the basements of the SHU, all the way up the stairs. They were silent for most of the trip, neither of them wanting to show their hand just yet. They passed by Twilight’s cell, where Shimmer was laying on the floor. Twilight let her gaze linger on her friend for a moment, but moved on quickly. When she was out, she’d look into returning for her. Right now, Twilight had to worry about herself.

“Here,” said Dash, pausing at a window on the uppermost floor of the prison. It was one of the only sources of natural light the prisoners received.

“Why are you here?” asked Twilight. Dash pushed the loose window open, then grabbed her climbing rope from her belt. She attached it to the window and threw it to the ground.

“You were right. Apparently, I can’t protect her from shit,” snarled Dash. “At least now I know who to really be mad at.”

“Did you break me out with the intention of killing me later?”

“I don’t want anything to do with your fucking Crew anymore. I just want to get my sister and leave.” Dash gestured for the rope, eager to get out as soon as possible.

“Where’s Rift again?” asked Twilight. Dash pointed a bit to their right, where Twilight could just barely make out the front of Rift’s car. She nodded, then turned to face Dash. Smiling, she flipped her toothbrush upside down to show the sharpened end of the plastic.

She stuck Rainbow just under the ribs, then in the gut, the chest, and the throat. Rainbow Dash lay on the floor, trembling as the blood leaked from her wounds.Twilight dropped her shank onto Dash’s body, taking a seat next to her head.

“I… I came to save you…” gasped Dash.

“And that was a mistake. You should’ve left me to rot,” said Twilight. “You don’t have much longer. Get out your last words while you can.”

“Leave… Leave Scootaloo…” she begged. “Let her go. Give… Give her my… Cut. Tell her… To run…”

“Hm… No,” said Twilight after a moment of thought. “I’m not going to let her go. I’m going to put a bullet in her brain.” Dash tremored, some part of her still attempting to protect her sister. “And I’m going to tell her that you left her behind before I do it. She’s going to think you abandoned her. Her last moments of conscious thoughts will be used cursing your name to hell. Then, I’m going to look her in the eye and tell her exactly why I’m going to shoot her.”

“Why…?”

“Because you went against me. She's going to die knowing that it was all your fault.” Twilight stood up, wiping the blood on her hands onto Dash’s pant leg. “Goodbye, Apollo. I’ll miss you.”

Twilight scaled the window, sliding down the rope to the floor. She smiled as she approached Rift’s car, ready for his inevitable attempt at making light of the situation. True to her prediction, he was out of his car and holding open the passenger door by the time Twilight arrived.

“Your chariot hath arrived, m’lady,” he said with a smirk. Twilight laughed slightly, giving Rift a light hug.

“It’s good to see you, Rift,” said Twilight. “I was a bit afraid that you’d be on your way out of the country once I went on trial.” She slid into the car, while Rift closed the door and did the same.

“Nah, I had confidence in you. Plus, I knew you had powerful friends,” said Rift. He looked out of his window, tapping the steering wheel impatiently. “Where the hell is she?”

“Dash won’t be joining us,” said Twilight. Rift looked at her, puzzled. “Just drive, Rift. Don’t ask questions. Just drive.”

“O-okay. Where to?” asked Rift. Twilight looked up at the prison she had just escaped, suddenly feeling a wave of disgust pass over her, a disgust that she hadn’t felt before.

“Home,” she said simply.

Twilight walked into the laundromat, puffing on the cigarette she had gotten from Rift. It had been far too long since her last smoke, and this single cigarette was extra soothing. She let out a swirling cloud of smoke as she pushed over the broken dryer, then descended down the ladder. She strolled down the hall, pushing open the double doors of the Planning Room.

“Welcome home.”

Twilight stared at him for a while before speaking, getting lost in the surrealness of the moment. It had been so long since the two last spoke, it was almost like meeting for the first time. He looked just the same as always, though his piercing emerald eyes had a tired sort of gloss to them.

“Aren’t I supposed to be the big mastermind here?” asked Twilight. “Where do you get off, planning a job better than me?”

“Well, you went on the biggest heist in history without me,” said Spike. “It’s only fair I steal the only thing worth more than the crown by myself.”

“Aww, that’s sweet. How long did it take you to put this all together?”

“I’ve been working ever since you were sentenced. Had to burn through most of your cash in order to get all the pieces together,” said Spike. “Sorry about that.”

“That’s okay. We’ll have plenty of time to earn it back,” said Twilight. “Where’s my mask? Did you manage to get that, too?”

“I left Widow’s, but the Gorgon is on the chess table.” Twilight strolled past Spike to the table, all of her focus devoted to the mask. Spike watched her, his hand hovering over the gun on his waist. “Now, Twilight… You’ve got that look in your eyes, and I just wanna say something before you get yourself going.”

“Go ahead,” said Twilight.

“Twilight, I’m with you to the end. You know that, right? I’ll stand by your side until the very end. No matter what choice you make, I’ll support you,” said Spike, slowly drawing his pistol. “But I’m going to give you some options, because I know you don’t think you have any. You can put the mask back on, start planning the next heist, and keep on going as if nothing happened. Or… We can leave. We can try having a normal life. I’ve been doing that since you left Appleloosa, and it’s way underrated. We can live out our days in peace.” Spike flipped the safety off of his weapon, keeping it at the ready. “You have options. So, what are we going to do next?”

Spike silently begged his friend to make the right decision. He pleaded mentally that the stars align and Twilight did the right thing, made the right choice. His hands trembled slightly as Twilight stood there, stewing on what Spike had said. Spike’s stomach knotted as Twilight raised the mask to her face. With a heavy heart, he raised his pistol, his aim true, his trigger finger ready.

“Simple,” said Twilight. “Next, we rebuild.”

Spike closed his eyes, but could do nothing to stop himself from hearing the shot ring throughout the laundromat. There was a dull thud, as well as the soft clattering of chess pieces hitting the floor. With tears streaming down his face, he dropped his gun, the barrel still smoking. Spike stepped over the fallen chessboard, grabbed the mask from Medusa’s face, stowed it into a duffel bag, then headed for the surface. When he was outside he took in a deep breath and released it in the form of emerald flames that licked up and down the laundromat.

Spike went on down the street, praying that the Queen of Thieves may finally know peace.

Author's Note

Thank you all for your time. I appreciate everyone who read this through to the end. You kept me running this past year.

Goodbye.

The Jewelry Store

“Yo, Twi. I’m in position.”

“Good. Remember what I taught you?”

“Duh. I’m not stupid, ya know.”

“True. But I thought you might’ve been high when we were planning.”

Heists don’t just happen. That was my basic motto when it came to knocking a place over. Over the past month, I had repeated it several times to my new student, who seemed quite eager to get her hands dirty. It was one of the few reasons I bothered teaching Rainbow Dash; She was willing and eager. Spike thought she might’ve been a bit too green for this sort of work, and I was inclined to agree, but I knew she could shape up with enough time.

“Well, she’s not now,” said Spike. “Give her a chance to screw the pooch before you get on her case, alright?”

“I never said she was high now,” I said. “But it wouldn’t surprise me.” I tapped my earpiece twice, out of habit. “What do you see, Spike?”

“I’ve got… three guards, one by the front door, one by the side entrance, and one out back,” he reported.

“I got one over here, too,” said Rainbow. “On the other side of the building.”

“Good. We need the outside guards dealt with,” I said. I could hear her gulp through my earpiece.

“You mean… Like… Kill him?”

“Not if you can avoid it,” I sighed tiredly. I’d said it many times before today, but that girl never seemed to retain any information that didn’t immediately lead to cocaine. “I gave you that taser for a reason.”

“What about you, Twi? You ready to move in?” asked Spike. I turned slightly, my gaze lingering on him across the street for just a second. I nodded slightly, and he moved forward, then turned right down the street.

“Dash. Get ready,” I ordered.

“Always ready, old timer.”

“I’m thirty-one.”

"Yeah, I know. Old timer.” Rainbow had a bit of a snicker in her voice at all times, which was the reason I both hated and enjoyed her company.

“Remember, this job will make or break your career,” I reminded Rainbow. “Throw this away, and we’re all going in for it. If I go to jail because of you, I will make sure that we end up cellmates, and I will not be very happy.”

“Yeah, yeah, just try to keep up, old timer.”

I sighed. She really was hopeless.

“Alright, guys. We don’t leave there without twenty grand worth of jewelry,” I reminded them. “And try your hardest not to hurt anyone, okay? Cleaning is way more expensive than you might think. We good to go?”

“In the van and waiting,” said Spike.

“Let’s get paid, damnit!” said Dash excitedly. I rolled my eyes, smirking slightly in spite of myself.

“Alright, gang. Let’s move out.”

I grabbed my duffel bag from the ground and slung it over my shoulder. I left my alley and headed across the street to my mark, La Princessa Espumunda, then slipped into the alley between the jewelry store and the building to its left. I walked forward, towards a security guard. Before I got too close, he began to spasm in pain, dropping to the ground after a few seconds.

Rainbow Dash slipped her taser back into its holster, grinning as she did. She looked comfortable in her new suit. It was a simple, black two piece with a navy blue tie. She looked good. Professional. Like she belonged in the Mythos Crew.

“Ready?” I asked. I grabbed the unconscious guard by the wrist and dragged him to the back as Rainbow followed. She popped open a dumpster and helped me drop him into it, on top of his two friends that Dash had knocked out a little earlier. She grabbed her duffel bag from the side of the dumpster and zipped it open. I dropped mine and did the same, pulling out my handgun, a Colt 1911, and my AK-47. Finally, I pulled out a small stun gun and tucked it into my pants. I loaded up my rifle, flipped on the safety, and slung its strap over my shoulder. I slipped a mag into my pistol and holstered it on my hip. Then, I reached into my almost-empty bag to get my favorite piece of gear.

I always gravitated towards the eyes of my mask, appropriately. They were made out of what was essentially one-way glass, tinted bright yellow on the outside with black slits for pupils. The majority of the face was a light green material that resembled a snake’s underbelly, which was also appropriate. It had a sinister grin on its face, showing off a mouth of razor-sharp teeth. Several snakes stood at the top, standing high enough to obscure my horn and acting as the final details of The Gorgon. I slipped the modified hockey mask onto my face, grinning as I did.

“Let’s move,” I said to Dash, who had also masked up. It was called The Griffon, decorated to have gorgeous white feathers that melded into golden-brown fur near the neck. A golden, hooked beak protruded from her face, turning the pegasus into the much rarer griffon.

“I’ll take point,” I said. “And you can do the honors.” I imagine that she grinned from behind her mask, cocked her gun, and followed me to the side entrance. We slipped in, through the manager’s office and turned right down the short hallway to the actual shop.

Two rows of three glass cases, each filled with bracelets, pendants, watches, and rings, lined the middle of the room. Each wall to the side held gold and diamond necklaces, and the occasional ring. Only a handful of people were in the shop. Six, according to my quick count, and that included the clerk and the last guard.

Too easy.

“Hit the goddamn ground, people!” shouted Dash. I drew my stun gun and fired it at the guards chest, dropping him to the ground after a few electrifying seconds. I dropped it and gripped my assault rifle, brandishing it in the direction of my new, screaming, terrified hostages.

“Alright, folks, some of you might be feeling a bit brave,” I said. “You can either be brave or alive, okay? We’re going to need your phones, so please and thank you, pull them out and slide them to the middle of the floor.”

“I want your wallets, watches, rings, necklaces, anything that’s worth something,” said Dash. That was not a part of the plan, but I was pleasantly surprised that she even considered robbing the customers as well. Our hostages, one by one, pulled out their phones and valuables, tossing them into a pile in the middle of the floor. I looted the clerk from behind the counter then, after a moment of thought, pulled a zip-tie from my breast pocket.

“Sorry, but I’ve had too many jobs go to hell because of jumpy cashiers,” I said as I bound her wrists. “Apollo! Bag up!”

Rainbow gleefully used the stock of her rifle to smash each of the glass cases, filling her bag with the jewelry they contained. I couldn’t be certain from where I stood, but I guessed that each case was about three grand’s worth of jewelry. That’d give us just about our goal, and that wasn’t even factoring in the profit from the patrons’ stuff, or the loose necklaces on the shelves. I went about bagging those up, keeping an ear out for Spike.

“Alright, you guys can leave whenever,” he said, right on cue. “Nobody has called the cops just yet, but people are bound to notice soon.”

“Apollo, we good?” I asked. I turned to see my pupil practically wrestling with some lady, who was crying, sniffling, and begging Dash to stop.

“She won’t give up the damned necklace!” grunted Dash.

“P-please! My husband’s ashes—” She might’ve said more, were it not for Dash elbowing her in the head.

“Hey, newbie, knock it off! You wanna get us caught over $250?” I asked. “We got what we came for, so grab your bag and let’s F.O.”

“But T-” She shook her head. “Medusa!”

“Let it go!”

Dash grumbled slightly, but let the lady go. She grabbed her bag and slung it over her shoulder. I grabbed my bag and ran to the front with Dash just behind me. Just before we could make it out of the front door, I heard a very familiar word that I both loved and hated.

“Freeze!”

I turned slowly, my hands in the air to see one of the guards Dash had knocked out, aiming his sidearm at us. I made no attempt to react, because I had a plan for this scenario.

Dash didn’t know this, aimed her rifle, and fired three shots at the poor guy’s head. The bullets bounced off, knocking him onto his butt, which let me begrudgingly finish him off with a few shots of my own. The guard now unconscious, me and Dash ran out.

“Thank you for your cooperation!” I called over my shoulder, giggling slightly to myself. We hauled it down the block, attracting looks of concern and even getting a few Canterlot citizens to use their phones to call the police. Not that it mattered. The Chariot was just around the corner.

The van’s back doors were open for us, and we wasted no time in jumping in. I closed the door and punched the ceiling twice. Spike hit the gas and barreled down the street. I pulled off my mask and grinned.

“Nice work, people,” I said. “The Mythos Crew is back in business!”

“You asshole!” shouted Dash. “You loaded my gun with rubber bullets?!”

“It’s your first job. Be thankful you got a gun at all,” I said. I threw down my weapon, still smirking in satisfaction. “How are we, Spike?”

“In the green. We’ll cruise around for a bit, then head back to the safehouse,” said Spike. “You did fine out there, ladies.”

“Were you listening in there, Spike?” I scoffed. “That was a mess. Dash tried to steal some lady’s dead husband’s ashes, and she shot at a guard.”

“With rubber bullets,” Rainbow reminded us.

“You didn’t know that. In your mind, you made the decision to murder that guy, which is a problem.” I punched her shoulder gently. “What is murder, Ms. Dash?”

“Murder is bad for business,” droned Dash. “You know, for bank robbers, you guys sure do have a lot of rules.”

“Rules are what kept me in the business for thirty years,” I said.

“I thought you said you were thirty-one.”

“Alright, so maybe I fibbed,” I snickered. “But you should know better than to ask a lady her age.”

“No offense, Twi, but you’re not exactly what I’d describe as a ‘lady’,” said Spike. “Criminal mastermind? Sure. Genius? Without doubt. Certified boss? Absolutely. But lady? Nah, that’s just not you.”

“Oh, shut up and drive, little boy,” I said humorously.

“Isn’t he your age?” asked Dash angrily. “Or was that a lie, too?”

“Technically, I’m forty-six years,” said Spike. “But in dragon terms, I’m actually younger than you.”

“Still not a fan of how much you guys like to lie to me,” grumbled Dash. “I thought you were a businesswoman. Is that how you do business?”

“When my quote unquote business partner is a dopehead, yeah,” I said. “Don’t feel any sort of way about it. I’ll be straight with you from here on out.”

“What makes you think there’s a ‘here on out’?” asked Dash. That was one of my biggest problems with Dash. She tried her best to make it seem as if she was a gangster, a tough guy, but she was all bark. She truly thought she had some power in this little relationship of ours when she actually had none.

“Well, I assume you want your fifteen percent,” I said. She turned to face me, glaring as she did.

“Whoa, whoa, I thought we agreed on an even split,” said Dash. “Thirty-three a piece, right?”

“Minus our finder’s fee, and the cost of teaching you,” listed Spike. “And job security. Heisters aren’t exactly a dime a dozen nowadays, and we’re offering you a chance to learn about the business.”

“Ergo, we’ll be charging you to ensure that we don’t lose too much if you go and run that big mouth of yours,” I finished. “But, once you do enough jobs to prove your loyalty, the split will become more and more favorable.”

“That's still major bullshit, just so you know,” complained Dash. “3 grand isn't worth all that work.”

“More like a grand and a half,” I said. “We're going to need you to front us a couple hundred for the next job, and Spike only launders for free if you're actually in the crew.”

“This is the easiest money I've ever made. Hells yes, I'm in the crew! I'm not trying to go anywhere, you hear?”

I smirked, satisfied with Dash and her admittedly weak performance. She wasn't able to wow me, but I didn't really expect her to on a job this basic. She would have the opportunity to grow in the next one.

“Spike, what do we have next?” I asked.

“Twilight, we just escaped! Not even escaped yet!” Spike was my best friend, and had been for years, so I knew that tone well. He was about to try and worm his way out of work.

“Spike… You did plan the next one, right?” I asked.

“Well, yeah, but…” I glared at him through the rearview mirror, my violet eyes locking with his emerald ones. “I have something lined up with some kind of historian, but… the mark is a museum. A good one, too, privately funded.”

I couldn't contain my excitement.

“So, Ms. Dash,” I said. “Are you ready to earn your 33%?” Rainbow didn’t say anything, which was a first. I knew she wasn’t happy with me, and she had some right to that. On the other hand… 33% of anything is a good pull, and even my new dopehead partner-in-crime knew that.

“What’s the job?” she asked after a second of thought. I looked to Spike expectantly. Just as I guessed, he was annoyed.

“What do you guys know about vintage firearms?” he sighed. I smirked. Spike knew that I liked vintage anything, guns especially.

“Brief us when we get to base,” I said. “We move out in… two weeks sounds reasonable, if this job is what I think it is.”

“It is.” Spike shook his head. “Promise me you’ll behave.”

“Oh, Spike, when have I ever not behaved?”

“And this was your first job with Ms. Dash?”

“Yes. Outside of a few practice trials, this was Dash’s first heist.”

“And you already trusted her enough to take her on something like the Museum?”

Twilight leaned forward, her wrists bound uncomfortably. The jury, her defense lawyer, the prosecutor, and everyone watching, they all stared at the criminal mastermind before them with intrigue. Ever since her apprehension, Twilight Sparkle had remained an enigma. She undercut her defense at almost every turn, incriminated herself several times, and flat out confessed to several accusations, many of which were baseless. She seemed intent on serving her sentence. What’s more, she spoke of Rainbow Dash and Spike as if they were good friends, and not the traitors they obviously were. Twilight just seemed to be enjoying herself. She took her sweet time answering, toying with her audience for a bit.

“I did trust her, but trust had nothing to do with it,” Twilight answered. “All Dash had to do was follow my directions, and, even though she proved herself incapable of doing even that, I still wasn’t concerned.”

“And why is that?” asked the prosecutor.

“Money is the root of all stupidity,” answered Twilight. “Dash had a thing for stupid, self-destructive behavior. That’s why she was so happy with her cocaine. She wasn’t about to ruin the chance to further destroy her life, or to make money. Plus… She’s stupid. My job depends on my ability to manipulate the stupid.”

“I see. So, after the jewelry store, what did you do?”

“Me and Spike dropped her off at her place, dropped off the cash, and then we went to work.”

“You mean you went to the safe house to plan?” asked the prosecutor. Twilight smiled. She loved being able to surprise people.

“No, no, no,” chuckled Twilight. “I broke into Dash’s house.”

Author's Note

Hope you guys enjoyed the beginnings of this little tale, and be sure to tell me what you think of it.. I say little, but this has the workings to become my longest single story ever (cut to six months from now when this is actually my shortest multi-chapt fic)

In case you didn't notice, this story is pretty heavily inspired by Payday, specifically the second game. As was the case with a previous video game-inspired story, this is not just a regurgitation of plot with ponies inserted (there's not much plot to regurgitate, honestly).

Thanks for reading, see you next time.

The White Widow

“This is the place? Are you serious?”

“As serious as a suicide. My suicide.”

“It doesn’t look like anyone is home.”

“Only if I’m lucky.”

Appleloosa was not a city. It wasn’t even really a town. In fact, I’d entertain an argument that Appleloosa was a village or a municipality. The point is, the place was tiny compared to Canterlot. Being a city girl myself, I instantly despised the hot, arid, homesey feel of the desert settlement. I knew Spike agreed with me, I could see it on his face. Yet, for some reason he refused to share with the group, this was the only place we could go.

Over the thirteen hour drive, I’d managed to calm down considerably. I borrowed Spike’s laptop to check on Shining, and it seemed that he would be fine. Relatively speaking. The man did take a large bullet to the back at an age when he really had no business doing things like that. Still, Shining was tough (as I would soon learn, Appleloosans would compare his toughness to a “$2 steak”). He would persevere, just like I would. All we had to do was rest, calm down, and get back into the swing of things.

We parked outside of a music shop.

“Seriously, what are we doing here?” asked Dash. “I’m majorly lost.”

“Just… Get out of the van and get inside,” said Spike. “Hopefully, they’re not home yet.” He shepherded us out of the van, tossing Dash and Scootaloo a bag on their way out. He exited last, clutching his laptop as if it was the only thing keeping him alive.

We entered the dusty, decrepit, dilapidated music shop, trying our best not to inhale any dust or asbestos that may have lingered in the air. It looked as though the owner had left in a hurry; violins and sheet music littered the ground, and there was a grand piano near the back of the room, completely untouched. Strangely, it didn’t have a layer of dirt and dust on it, like most other things in the shop. It was clean.

Spike handed me his laptop, then sat down at the piano. He began to play a song I recognized.

“Since when could you play piano?” asked Scootaloo.

“Since never. I only know the one song.”

“You’re playing it wrong,” I said. He glared at me, but didn’t stop playing. “Well, you are. That’s The Gift of Music, right? It’s mostly there, but a few notes are out of place.”

“I know,” said Spike. He finished the song with another incorrect note. The wall next to the piano pushed inward, letting out a small puff of air, then slid to the right to reveal a ladder leading down.

“Well, this feels like home,” I said. “May I?”

“Please.” Spike was starting to sound more and more panicked as time went on, which wasn’t good. If he wasn’t comfortable in what he himself described as the only place we could turn, I needed to know why so I could fix it.

I made my way down the ladder, which dumped me into a long, narrow corridor. I slowly and quietly marched all the way down and pushed open the door at the end. The room I then entered was similar to my own at the laundromat, but not the same. There was no giant monitor or War Map, but there was a wall of telephones and computers. Instead of a chess board, there was a dart board near the back left corner. To the right was a decent-sized kitchen area, with a fridge, stove, oven, and what appeared to be an ice cream machine. The left wall had several doors, which I assumed led to some sort of sleeping quarters.

“Anyone else feeling a little deja vu-ish?” I asked.

Before I could turn to check on the Crew, I felt a knife press against my throat, digging into my flesh slightly. I froze, then slowly turned to see my assailant. Her skin, the bit I could see, was like porcelain, shining white to an almost blinding degree. Her eyes were bright blue, like sapphires, and her hair was long, shiny, and tied back into a purple ponytail. What I noticed most, however, was her mask.

It didn’t cover her whole face like a Mythos mask, but I immediately understood that to be a stylistic choice. It rested on her nose, covering everything beneath her eyes. It seemed whiter than her skin, if that was possible, and it had the image of a spider’s pincers etched onto it. It looked almost tribal, but with a distinct caution and patience to it. Raw, refined, rough, neat, terrifying, and beautiful, all at once.

I was smitten immediately.

“Hello, gorgeous,” I whispered. My assailant tilted her head, then pressed her knife a bit more forcefully into my neck.

“I’m flattered, really, but I’m afraid I don’t swing that way,” she said. “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“I was talking to the mask. Did you make it yourself?”

“Jesus Christ, Widow!” shouted Spike. “She’s with me! I told you I was coming!” As soon as she heard Spike’s voice, Widow removed her knife and slipped it into the pocket of skintight black bodysuit she was wearing. She pulled off her mask and flashed me her pearly whites.

“A friend of Spike’s? Why didn’t you say so!”

Spike pushed past me, followed by Dash and Scootaloo. Still slightly mesmerised by the mask, I took a few moments to compose myself before properly entering the room. Spike seemed to be standing as far away from Widow as humanly (draconically, I suppose) possible. If Widow minded, she didn’t show it.

“Introductions are in order,” said Widow. “I am your host, and you may call me Widow.”

“As in Black?” I asked. Widow scoffed, giggling slightly to herself.

“Oh, please, with my complexion?” She looked down at her hand, which was practically glowing in the light. “If you must do the full name thing, it’s White Widow.”

“Medusa,” I said. “Charmed. What I said about your mask, I meant it. If you made that yourself, I’m impressed.”

“Why, thank you. Not many appreciate how much time and effort it takes to craft something so intricate. Spike never did.”

“We were doing introductions, right?” said Spike. He didn’t seem to want Widow to talk. “This is Dash, and her little sister, Scootaloo. And Medusa is Twilight. We don’t need to do the whole codename thing with Widow, she’s cool.”

“Then why do you keep calling her Widow?” asked Dash.

“Because that’s how Spikey shows affection,” said Widow. She looked to Scootaloo. “How old are you, miss?”

“Uh… Fifteen,” said Scootaloo nervously.

“I figured as much. I have a sister your age. She should be popping in any moment now, I’m sure you’ll get right along. Ms. Twilight, it is a pleasure to meet you, and an honor to be able to live with the famous Mythos Crew.”

I stood in stunned silence until Spike introduced his elbow to my ribs.

“Sorry. I’m still stuck on ‘Spikey’,” I said. “The pleasure is all mine, however… I can’t say I’ve heard of you, and I know all of Spike’s friends. He’s never mentioned you.”

“Look, we’re all tired from the drive over,” said Spike, a visible sheen of sweat on his face. “Maybe we should all call it in early and start this back up in the morning?”

“I’m not surprised,” said Widow, completely ignoring Spike. “He likely didn’t want you trying to compete with me.”

“Compete with you?” I asked. “Why would I compete with you?

“Well, it would only be natural for us to butt heads.” Widow smiled, although it seemed that her smile was much like her mask; false, feral, and terrifying to lesser mortals. “Jealousy, you know.”

“Jealousy?”

“No, seriously, I could really do with a good night’s sleep,” said Spike. I glared at my partner, which had an effect similar to turning him to stone.

“Of course. Though, you should know, I am not one to hold a grudge. I know when I have been bested, and I am big enough to accept my defeat,” said Widow through gritted teeth. “I just didn’t think Spike had a taste for older women.”

I tried really hard not to let that get under my skin.

“I beg your pardon?” I said, rasing an eyebrow. Widow seemed to only then realize what she had said, and raised her hands defensively.

“Oh, no, no, no, I meant no offense at all! You’re quite beautiful, you look great for your age,” said Widow, though I was positive she had no clue how old I was. “I just meant… Spike is a man’s man. He likes beer and sports cars and… Well, you just seemed to be outside of his target demographic.”

“For the record, I don’t drink beer anymore,” said Spike weakly.

“Miss, I think you may be confused,” I said, piecing everything together. “Spike is like my brother. A brother who has some explaining to do.” I turned to face him, and he shrunk down a bit. “Spike? This Widow woman wouldn’t happen to be your girlfriend, would she?”

“What? P-please, of course not,” said Spike. A bit quieter (but not quiet enough) he added, “Not anymore.”

“So we’re bunking with Spike’s ex-girlfriend?” asked Dash. “That’s gonna be…”

“Awkward?” suggested Scootaloo.

“I was gonna say ‘interesting’, but what you said is probably good, too.”

“Don’t be ridiculous!” said Widow. “I’m not Spike’s ex-girlfriend. Heavens, no.” Spike let out a sigh of relief.

“See?” he said. “Why would I hide something like that from you? Honestly, Twi, you should have more—”

“I’m his ex-wife,” finished Widow.

Spike later described the instant as the scariest moment in his entire life. I thought I was handling everything pretty well, considering, but I was apparently glaring at him quite ferociously. And clenching my fist. And grinding my teeth. It’s funny what details you miss in the heat of the moment.

“Spike? A word, please,” I said through gritted teeth. I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him over a bit.

“Twi?” he whispered. Later, he informed me that I stared at him with “the wrath of the old gods” in my eyes. “I can explain.”

“Please do.”

“When Mythos fell apart, and we split up for a while, I ended up down south.” I remembered hearing that he was travelling, of course, but I never asked specifics. If he wanted to share, he would have. “I… I got lonely, okay? And it was supposed to be a one time thing, but… We ended up really liking each other. A lot.”

“And you fell in love. Can’t fault you for that,” I said. “But why didn’t you tell me?” I thought about it for a few seconds. “Scratch that, why did you two split up?”

“You called me. You told me about the plan to break out Moondancer and Lyra. I couldn’t let you do it alone,” he said. “She couldn’t come with me, I couldn’t stay down here, it just wouldn’t have worked. We decided to walk away on good terms.”

I was stunned. I never knew that Spike had anyone like Widow in his life. Sure, he was a grown dragon with needs, but I never really thought about it. Like I said, I viewed Spike as my little brother. I guess I thought about him as too little. I never thought he’d get lonely.

“So, you threw away your marriage, your one true love…” I said. “For me.”

“It wouldn’t have worked out anyway. Our jobs are too dangerous,” said Spike, though it sounded like he only said it to make me feel better. “We’d never be able to settle down. You’re the one who told me that dragons didn’t typically mingle outside of their species. That’s because we’re not compatible.”

“Spike, to hell with what I said.” I couldn’t believe it. He had a shot at true happiness, peace, and he gave it up to help me. And I’d repaid him by lying to him and getting him into the awful situation we were in.

“Look, I didn’t regret my choice then, and I don’t regret it now. If we were meant to be, we’d be,” he said firmly. “I didn’t tell you because I didn’t want you to start thinking it’s your fault. Also, I was scared of how you’d react if I told you that I had gotten married without your permission.”

“You think you need permission?”

“You’re scary as fuck, big sis.”

“Fair enough.” I actually chuckled a bit, which seemed to calm Spike down slightly. “So, the name Widow… Was that because you left?”

“Nah. A lot of her targets are men, so I used to joke that she was a widow-maker,” said Spike. “She liked the name, we ended up shortening it, and it stuck.”

“Targets?”

“Yeah. She’s an assassin.”

Perhaps I’m not as sensitive as most, but I found that to be a bit more important than her history with Spike. I made it a personal rule of thumb not to bunk with hired killers. We generally didn’t get along. Rift was an exception, because he seemed to think of us as friends. I didn’t know Widow, and she already seemed to dislike me. I tried to calm myself down. Now that I knew the whole story, I could explain that Spike and I certainly did not have a romantic relationship, and she would drop her resentment.

“Let’s go mingle,” I said. We rejoined the little party, and Spike started over. He explained how he and I have known each other since we were children, and how he never mentioned me because he feared Widow’s jealousy. We shook hands, got back on the right foot, and she offered me a token of peace in the form of marshmallows.

When she said it, I was confused. I thought it might have been a euphemism for some sort of drug or something, but no. She meant the candy. She pulled a whole bag of jumbo marshmallows from her cabinet, the type you roast over a campfire, and offered me one.

“Marshmallows?” I asked, just to be certain. I took one, only popping it into my mouth after she ate one herself.

“Yes, ma’am, I have a bit of a weakness,” said Widow. “They’re almost pure sugar and not very good for you, but I love them nonetheless!” She ate another three before I had a chance to finish my one. “Oh, you want work, don’t you? Well, as far as robberies go, I don’t know how much I can do, but I can provide you with other jobs that should fit your skillset, if you just give me a day or two. If you like, you can make yourselves at home in any of the bedrooms save for the first and second. Each of you will have a room to yourself, if you so wish, and the one on the end is the bathroom.” She gestured extravagantly to each door as if she was offering us a chance to achieve our deepest desires. “We’ll have to share that, I’m afraid, but I’m sure we can make it work.”

“Thank you very much, Ms…” I realized I never heard her actual name. “I feel awkward calling you Widow, since you refer to us all by personal names.” Widow smiled, her eyes twinkling with what I thought might have been joy.

“Oh, of course. In the field, I am the White Widow,” she said, bowing her head. “But in privacy, you may call me Rarity. Charmed.”

“What was your first impression of the White Widow?”

“I hated her guts.”

“Really? And why is that?”

“Have you ever ordered a soda only to take a sip and realize that it was diet?”

The prosecutor didn’t really understand if Twilight was serious or not. She didn’t seem to have a habit of joking, but that could’ve changed in the last few minutes. Twilight was unpredictable like that. Just when he thought he knew what she would say next, she totally blindsided him.

“I… I suppose.”

“That feeling. That ‘something isn’t right but I don’t know what it is’ feeling,” said Twilight. “Rarity was that feeling incarnate. Everything about her made my skin crawl. The way she spoke, the way she acted, the way she thought. Something about her was off.”

“Perhaps you really were jealous.”

“Perhaps you really need to listen better,” snarled Twilight. “Ignoring blood and race, Spike is my little brother. A handsome little drake, but not someone I could ever be attracted to. He is my brother.”

“Like Brutus to Caesar,” said the prosecutor. Twilight grimaced, then laughed. She had to hand it to the guy. He set that up brilliantly.

“I suppose so.” Silence rose in the courtroom for a second, which Twilight took as her cue to take control. “That said, I cared about him. I didn’t voice my concerns, because I genuinely thought the two could reconnect. I just kept my mouth shut, worked, and watched Rarity.”

“What did you hope to see?”

“I hoped to see something I don’t think even Spike ever saw,” said Twilight, smiling darkly. “I hoped to see the mare behind the mask.”

Moves and Countermoves

“You’ve lost it this time. Totally fucking crazy!”

“I agree. But there is no genius without a touch of madness.”

“That’s some shit crazy people say.”

“Again, I agree. But I’ve always been a crazy type of genius.”

Dash had a good point. This was insane. The largest heist in the history of crime, and it had no payout. No check at the the end or fountain of gold coins. Just the satisfaction of doing something that nobody else could. By all rules of business, this was a pure loss. But this wasn't business anymore. It was pride.

“So you want me to risk my ass helping you steal the Crown off of the King’s head, and you want me to do it for no scratch?” asked Dash.

I tapped my finger against the book I had been pouring over, its contents long since ignored. I had resigned myself to the fact that I would get no research done with Dash pestering me. I really wish she would just see logic… Yet, as usual, she refused. I was tired of explaining it, yet I tried one last time.

“No. Frankly, I don’t remotely care if you participate in this job,” I said. “I only asked you because it will be difficult, border-line impossible without your help. But, if you don’t want to, the offer of sitting tight still remains on the table.”

“But you wanna be a part of this,” called Lyra. She came around to my table with a stack of books in her hand. “This is going to be legendary!”

“Yeah, a legendary waste of time. This is risky, pointless, and stupid,” said Dash.

“Well, duh. That's why it's fun.” Lyra picked a book from her stack and immediately began digging through it. “That, and the fact that nobody has ever attempted something like this before.”

“Even if I wanted to risk my 100 mil, and, just FYI, I really fucking don't,” said Dash. “But, even if I did, you expect me to work with her?” Lyra was focused on her research and didn't see Dash point in her general direction.

“Trust me, hon, you're not my first pick of heister, either,” said Lyra. She popped open a book on security systems, and flipped through it quickly. “If it were up to me, I'd be doing this with Moonie and Spike.”

“I just mean… How can you heist with someone you don't trust?”

“Carefully,” I said. “It won't be much different than when I hired you.”

“Look, all I'm saying is that this is dangerous. A week ago, you half-drowned this chick and threatened to kill her,” said Dash. “But now you trust her to watch your back?”

“It's more like I'm aware of what this heist is. If we get caught, everyone involved goes down,” I explained. “She can't screw me, because that'll screw herself.”

“Despite how I may look, I'm not stupid,” said Lyra. “I'm in no rush to piss off the Boss.”

Dash shrugged, but sat herself down across from Lyra. She kicked her feet up on the table, then lit up a cigarette.

“Have fun, then, I guess,” said Dash. Silence descended, at which point I began digging back into the history of Castle Equestria.

“We're doing this at night, obviously,” said Lyra. “But how?”

“Actually, I was thinking a daytime heist would be the way to go for this,” I said. “More crowd cover, less suspicion. We may even be able to pass for Royal Guard if we play our cards right.”

“Sounds risky.”

“Doesn't get much riskier than the King’s Crown.”

“Why do we even have a King?” asked Dash. “It's not much of a monarchy if we vote for the leader.”

“It's a leftover from when we used to be primarily a hereditary monarchy,” said Lyra. She excelled at this sort of thing, having always been fond of archeology, anthropology, and political science. “But, thousand or so years ago, Equestria decided they'd rather have this sort of… democratic monarchy. But we kept the title, the sovereign immunity doctrines, and, most importantly, the Crown.”

“As far as I know, there are no upcoming ceremonies that would require the Crown to be worn,” I said. “So it would likely be in the treasury. That’s the North Tower. The only way in without arousing suspicion would be the South Tower, considering that it’s open to tourists. So that’s our in. We’ll have to work through the Central Tower and down through the North Tower before we hit the treasury.”

Castle Equestria consisted of five interconnected Towers. Each had a dozen or so levels, and each level had its own guard detail. The North Tower was the most protected because not just because it contained the treasury, but also because it housed the royal family itself. Moving through each floor would be like breaking into a fortress in of itself.

“Of course. That's some top-notch security there”, said Lyra. “Ten guards on each level.”

“What do we know about the cameras?” I asked.

“That they exist, and that there's gonna be a whole lot of them,” said Lyra. I tapped my finger on the table, a bit annoyed with my lack of information. This would be a lot easier with floor plans, maps, weaknesses, anything. I'd need to call Celestia for those.

“I’ll call my contact, see if she has anything for us,” I said. “She should be able to help.”

“Your contact wouldn’t happen to be that lying, back-stabby Senator, would she?” asked Lyra. I glared in her direction. “What? I can’t be the only one who thinks she’s gonna stab us in the back, right?” My glare intensified. “C’mon, Dash, back me up.”

“Staying out of it,” said Dash plainly.

“First of all, Lyra, there is no ‘us’ for her to betray,” I said. “Don’t think this one job is your ticket back into Mythos. You’re still on my hit list, just a bit lower than you were before. Secondly, Celestia will not stab me in the back. I trust her.”

“To be fair,” said Dash. “You trusted Lyra and Moondancer, too.”

“You’re not helping,” hissed Lyra.

“This is different. If Celestia wanted me gone, she’d have gotten rid of me ages ago.” I closed my book and went to another, this one on cameras and CCTVs. “Remember, we didn’t go to her. She came to us. She wanted to be friends, so I can’t really see her betraying me. Especially not at this juncture, when I’ve given her everything she’s asked for.”

“True,” said Dash. “But think about what you’re doing. If Celestia gets elected, then you’ll have stolen her crown. Think she’d be cool with that?”

“I think that, if she really wants it back, she’ll ask for it,” I said. “And, if that comes to pass, I will have no problem returning it. I truly don’t give a damn about the crown itself.”

“This is the most backwards shit I’ve ever heard,” said Dash with a shake of the head. “Why would you ever steal something just to give it back for no pay?”

“If you don’t get it by now, you won’t ever get it,” I said. “It’s not about the money. It’s never been about the money.”

“Look, I don’t know how you’ve grown up,” chuckled Dash. “But, where I’m from, on the streets, it’s always about money. When you need to put food on the table in a shitty neighborhood, that’s all there is. We don’t steal for the lifestyle. We do it cause we’re out of options.”

“I’m from a shitty neighborhood, myself,” said Lyra. “Cloudsdale. Nimbus Blvd. I came up on the streets, put myself through school, got my degrees, and then I became a criminal asshole.” Lyra smirked deviously. “See? Struggle doesn’t equate to delinquency.”

“Nimbus Blvd? Fuck outta here.” Dash grinned, then made a little M with her hands. “Misty Street, baby!”

“Well, I’ll be damned!” laughed Lyra. “You were one of those dickheads? When’d you leave home?”

“Not til a few years ago. Think we might’ve crossed paths?”

“Hell, I bet I kicked your ass once or twice when we were kids, especially if you hung around the high school during afternoons.”

“Heh. Well, I’ve gotten my ass kicked enough that I probably scrapped with you at some point. Small world, ain’t it?”

“Sure is. Who would’ve thought?”

“Focus,” I said. These two were starting to get on my nerves. “The Castle. What’s our plan?”

“Right. So, if we’re gonna do this during the day, we’re gonna want to use the crowd to our advantage,” said Lyra. “Move with them where we can, keep quiet where we can’t. Equipment-wise, I say small arms only. Something snub.”

“I don’t leave home without my revolver,” I said stubbornly.

“Jesus Christ, where did you get that damned thing anyway? That’s too gaudy and flashy for you, it doesn’t fit your style.”

“I took it as a souvenir from a hitman who tried to kill me.” I smiled, remembering fondly. “He’s a good guy. We work together sometimes.”

“Look, I don’t care if your Nana Sparkle gave it to you, it’s too big for the job,” said Lyra. “Leave it home.” I pulled it from my waist, which apparently startled Lyra, because she changed her tune quite quickly. “Fine, whatever, you’re the boss!”

“I was just checking ammo, you twit,” I said, turning the gun over in my hands. “But, yes, I know. I am the boss.”

“If you’re gonna bring that, I hope you have a good holster, cause that shit’s gonna get seen from a mile away. You really should just—”

Lyra’s phone rang, killing the rest of her sentence in the air. She checked the caller, her face paling when she saw the name.

“It’s her,” she croaked. I flipped my gun, then slipped it back in its place.

“Good. Set up the meeting. Someplace private,” I said. “I want to take my time here, and I’d hate to be disturbed.”

“Look, just calm the fuck down and get over here! The sooner we can talk, the sooner we can leave town,” hissed Lyra into her phone. “I’m at home, just hurry!”

“Lyra, I feel bad about this. I have a really bad feeling.” I was so close to Lyra that I could hear even the nervous muttering of my former friend through the phone. “Something feels wrong…”

“Do we have to go over this again? Everything will feel wrong if the Boss catches us. Get! Here! Now!”

“Alright, geez! Five minutes, I’ll be there in five minutes,” promised Moondancer. “Lyra… We’re going to get through this, okay?”

“Yeah. Just get here soon.”

Lyra snapped her phone shut, then threw it clean across the room. She clutched her head in both hands, slightly trembling while she did.

“Can I go now?” she asked. “I really don't want to be here for… well, whatever you end up doing to her.”

“You stay where I can see you. You need to be here,” I said.

“But… Fine. Okay, whatever keeps my head on my shoulders.” Her forehead hit the table. “Oh God, I'm gonna be sick.”

“You know where the bathroom is.”

“Yeah, sure. Just… Make it quick, alright?” I didn’t answer, which I’m sure made Lyra feel a lot worse. “Fuck, I just wish we didn’t have to do it in her apartment. That’s just mean.”

Lyra had told Moondancer to meet her at the apartment that they shared. We were waiting for her in the living room, Lyra’s face pressed firmly against the glass of the coffee table. I was on the couch, waiting with my gun in my hand. The Widow rested on my face, and I was determined to give the traitor exactly what she deserved.

“How did we get to this?” asked Lyra. “We fucked the dog here, god damn…”

“You should’ve waited,” I said. I saw Lyra open her mouth to speak, and I cut her off with a wave of my hand. “You should have convinced her to wait, then. Or if you couldn’t, you should have stayed behind. Instead, you ran away. Coward.”

“I’ll never deny that. I was weak. But you didn’t leave me a whole lot of options.”

“You think this is how I wanted things to turn out?”

“I think that, if you had a problem with it, you’d find another way,” said Lyra sullenly. I remained silent, which Lyra decided was her opportunity to interrogate me. “Where’s Spike?”

“Predisposed,” I said. I really, really didn’t want to talk about Spike.

“Is that a coy way of saying ‘dead’?”

“Do you really think I’d kill Spike? You think I have it in me?” I shouldn’t have been getting angry, but I was. I should’ve ignored Lyra and focused on the task at hand, but Lyra had known me a long time. She knew how to distract me. What she hoped to accomplish by doing so was unclear. She couldn’t possibly think I’d spare Moondancer at this point. She had to know that her friend was a goner. So why even try?

“Nah. But, then again, I didn’t think you had it in you to kill Moonie. Or Shining,” said Lyra. “That bullet just missed his spine. If that sniper was even a bit sloppy, your brother would be dead.”

“I wouldn’t know, because I didn’t shoot him. Wasn’t my decision.” I paused for a moment, then decided that there was no harm in telling her the truth. “After Spike shot Shining, we relocated to Appleloosa. While there, Spike and I had a disagreement, and we both agreed to go our separate ways.”

“Damn. What kinda argument could split you two up?” she asked.

“I made a call that he wasn’t happy with that resulted in excessive loss on his part.” Lyra looked at me, confused. “I killed his ex-wife and her sister.”

Lyra would have asked more, if we didn’t hear keys jingling outside of the apartment. I quickly and quietly hopped over the couch and to the side of the door, my back pressed to the wall. I listened intently as key entered lock, clicked the pins into place, and the door breezed open, blocking me from view. Moondancer stepped in without a moment’s consideration.

She had changed her hair since I last saw her. It was tied in a kinda ponytail, sticking up at the top of her head. Her glasses were slightly crooked, as usual, and I could feel the anxiety wafting off of her.

Time for my second attempt at retribution.

“I’m here,” said Moondancer, not bothering to close the door behind her. “Alright, Ly, what do we have to work with? We need to go, and we need to do it now.”

“For what it’s worth, Moonie,” said Lyra, her voice dead and hollow. “I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry for what? Oh God, Lyra, what did you do?”

I shut the door, then stepped forward. Moondancer turned, then locked eyes with me. For a bit, neither of us moved.

“Hello, Moondancer,” I said. She turned on her heel and rocketed for the kitchen, where there was a fire escape she could use to get away (if I didn’t obstruct it prior to her arrival, obviously). I didn’t want her to get that far, so I ran forward and jumped onto her, dragging her to the ground.

“Twi! Please, Twilight, please don’t hurt me!” she screamed, along with a bunch of things she was too hysterical to properly enunciate.

“You and I are going to have a long talk,” I said. I dragged her to her feet, then hit her with a right cross. Before she could even think about what she’d do next, I brought my knee into her chest, winding her. She stumbled back, then had the audacity to throw a punch. I leaned out of the way, then grabbed her wrist and wrestled her to the ground. I planted my foot on her shoulder and jerked her arm until it popped.

Then, I stomped on it as hard as I could until I heard the tell-tale crack of a broken bone.

“That was immensely satisfying,” I said, barely able to hear myself over Moonie’s screams. “What next, my friend? Your leg? Your ribs? Perhaps I could crack your jaw. That ought to be fun.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a pocket knife I had bought just for this occasion, flipping the blade out. “Or maybe I should cut that fucking tongue out of your mouth? Will that get you to keep your big mouth shut?”

“How… How could you…” Moondancer swayed, as if threatening to pass out.

“Don’t black out on me, Moondancer. I have adrenaline shots in the car to keep you with me, if it comes to that,” I said. “So, answer me. Leg, ribs, or jaw. Which one do I break first?”

“Twilight, please…”

I planted my foot on her good arm, keeping her hand pressed against the floor. I flipped my knife over in my hand, then plunged it into Moondancer’s palm. Lyra winced at Moondancer’s anguished howls, which brought a sick, sinister grin to my face.

“I’ll do ribs, then.” I went into the kitchen for a moment to grab a tool box from under the sink. I grabbed a hammer, then returned to my prey. Unsurprisingly, Lyra stood up and put herself between me and Moondancer.

“Okay, she’s had enough! Let her go!” begged Lyra.

“This worthless waste of space is the reason why I will never speak to my brother ever again,” I snarled. “She deserves this. She’s a traitor! So get the hell out of my way before I bring this hammer down into your skull.”

“I had to…” grunted Moondancer. “I wouldn’t… I wouldn’t make it… It was either… Rat on you or die in the box.”

“Then you should have died,” I said. “Lyra, move. This will be the last time I ask politely.”

Lyra stared at me defiantly, then glanced at her friend. Her mouth opened, no doubt to beg me to stop. When I raised my hammer, however, she changed her tune.

“Sorry, Moonie,” said Lyra. “It was me or you, y’know? Nothing personal.” To Moondancer’s visual terror, Lyra stepped out of my way. I turned the hammer over in my hand, a sinister grin beneath my mask.

“Right, now, where were we?” I approached Moondancer, twirling the hammer as I did. “Ah, yes. Ribs.”

Lyra turned away as I introduced my hammer to Moondancer’s midsection. I didn’t strike too hard, not enough to cause any real damage. That said, it didn’t exactly tickle, either. I kept at it until I was sure that they were thoroughly broken. When they were good and cracked, I dropped the hammer to the floor, then pressed my foot down on her chest.

“See what you’re making me do to you?” I asked. “It didn’t have to be like this! If you would have just sat tight, waited like you were supposed to… You brought this upon yourself.”

The only reason I spoke to her at all was to vent. It was supposed to be cathartic, and it was. I didn’t expect, nor did I want, a response from her. But, whether it be the pain, or the rage, or the realization that she’d be dead soon anyway, Moondancer decided she’d speak.

“You left us for dead!” she yelled. “We saved your skin and you repaid us by leaving us to rot in prison! We took the fall for you, Twilight! We were good to you, and you left us behind! We had to—” I applied more of my weight to her chest, which ended her sentence and started a scream.

“Enough justifications! I was coming!” I snapped. “I would have saved you soon, just like I said, but you couldn’t hack it! I had it planned and ready to go, it was just a matter of funding. But you sold me out, ruined everything, you sniveling, cowardly, disloyal—”

Pain apparently made Moondancer much more bold than normal, because she actually interrupted me.

“If anyone is disloyal, it’s you! You called us family, your sisters, and now this!” I pressed my foot down more firmly. “S-stop! Please!”

“Family isn’t who you’re born with,” I said. “Family is who you’re willing to die for. You wouldn’t die for me then. How about now? Will you die for me now, sister?” I grabbed her by the collar, then pulled my gun from my waist and pressed it to her head. Time to end this.

“Say you kill me, Twilight. What then?” gasped Moondancer. “You think you and Lyra can just go on heisting forever? Shining gave us a way out, and we took it. It’d be stupid not to. You’re getting old, Twilight… How many more heists do you have in you? How long before you make a mistake that gets you locked up?”

“Shut up,” I advised her.

“Spike doesn’t know about this, does he? If he did, he’d have stopped you,” she coughed. “What’re you gonna do when he finds out? Beat him to death, too? Twilight, I know you, and you’re not a killer. You’ve killed people, but you’re not a killer. You’ve never liked it, it didn’t suit you. This isn’t you.”

My hand trembled as I kept my gun pressed to Moondancer’s head. She was right. My reign on top of the world… It was ending. I wasn’t young like I used to be. I was getting sloppy, and all it takes is one sloppy move to end a career in this business. And Spike… What would he say if he knew about this? He definitely wouldn’t let me bludgeon our oldest friend to death. Moondancer was right; I’m not a killer. I lowered my gun, staring at it strangely before stowing it away. I clenched my fist, my fingernails digging into my palms, before I stood up and turned around.

“Thank you, oh, dear God, thank you,” whispered Moondancer. “I knew you’d see reason, you weren’t thinking this through. You—”

I turned on my heel and stomped as hard as I could on Moondancer’s face, cracking her glasses in two. I brought my foot down twice more, the third stomp drawing blood, before I dropped to my knees and punched her over and over, with all the power left in my body.

“You don’t know a damn thing about me!” Each word was accentuated with a firm punch in the jaw. After about a minute, some of her teeth started to give out, cracking against my fist. I got at least three of them stuck in my knuckles, which I pulled out to continue my beating. When I had knocked out most of her teeth, I picked my hammer back up and battered her again and again. After around minute three, it became harder to tell what I was hitting. At the five minute mark, I was probably hurting my wrist more than her.

I dropped her unmoving body, my hand and hammer dripping with her blood. I let out a deep breath I had been holding in, then went about cleaning up a bit. As I washed my hands in the sink, I heard Lyra slink over to Moondancer’s body. She cried as she held the hand of her former friend, begging her to somehow be alive. Unfortunately for her, I was very thorough.

“Alright, Lyra,” I said. “Go grab the gas cans from the van.”

“W-what?” sniffled Lyra.

“We left a lot of evidence, and I don’t want them able to identify her body just yet.” I pulled out a lighter and cigarette, and started to smoke. “We’re going to start a fire. Go get the gas.”

“But… She deserves at least a burial. Let me bury her, please.”

“Gas cans. Now.”

Lyra clearly wasn’t happy, but she wasn’t about to argue with me. Not after seeing what I had just done to Moonie. I gestured to the door and Lyra slowly dragged herself away, muttering under her breath about how sorry she was.

“I’m so, so sorry…” she sobbed quietly. When she left, I grabbed Moondancer’s broken glasses and stowed them in my pocket. I liked souvenirs.

She was right. I wasn’t a killer. But I was a quick learner.

“And what happened next, Ms. Sparkle?”

“Well, I burned her, of course.”

“Really? That’s all we get? No long, poetic spiel that basically is just you saying that you’re the smartest person in the world?”

“I figured that, just this once, I’d skip the gory details.”

Twilight was grinning. She wasn’t trying to, but she couldn’t help but grin at this particular memory. She didn’t think herself a sadistic person, but she’d be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy killing her former friend. She decided that people had already made up their minds about her by this point. Her story time was almost over, so there wasn’t much point in pulling punches.

“Very funny,” said the prosecutor. “Now, tell us, do you regret killing Moondancer?”

“I regret the situation she put me in. I wish I didn’t have to kill her,” admitted Twilight. “But, if I could go back in time to stop myself, I wouldn’t. She got what she deserved.”

“And why is that? Because she disobeyed you?”

“Mythos Crew was never about money, which means our bond was stronger than almost anything. Since we didn’t care about the pull, there was never any risk of betrayal to increase profits. There is no honor among thieves, but Mythos was more than just a band of thieves. We were a family. Moondancer broke up our family. So, for that, she had to pay.”

“But can you really blame her? You had left her there for years to fend for herself, without so much as contact,” said the prosecutor. “What would you have her do?”

“She should have waited. I would have saved her.”

“Do you really believe that, Ms. Sparkle?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I believe, Ms. Sparkle, that you had no intention of breaking out your friends,” said the prosecutor. “I believe that you were happy to have them gone. They had failed you, after all, and you have shown yourself to respond very poorly to failure. So, I believe that you would have never actually put your rescue plan in action. Moondancer’s so-called betrayal… That’s just a convenient excuse.”

Twilight chuckled under her breath. She really hated this man. She had always had a low tolerance for stupidity, but the fact that she had to listen to him really got under her skin. The prosecutor just spoke and spoke, his words symbolizing nothing, because they lacked any intelligence to back them up.

“You think you know me, don’t you?” asked Twilight.

“I’ve studied your case quite intently, Ms. Sparkle, so I wouldn’t make any mistakes. Perhaps you should have studied, yourself.”

Twilight smirked. If she wasn’t handcuffed and surrounded by officers of the law, she’d jump over the stand and kill this man with her bare hands.

“You’re getting very good at this whole ‘angering me’ thing. It only took you the whole trial,” said Twilight.

“I don’t mean to anger you, ma’am. I only want to get the whole truth.”

“And I will give it to you. Why would I lie now? My story is almost over,” said Twilight. “Why would I ruin such a fascinating tale with a false ending?”

“I do not understand your sense of humor, Ms. Sparkle, which is a fact I am eternally grateful for,” said the prosecutor. “For all we know, this could just be a sick joke of yours.”

“After what I told you about Moondancer, you really think I’m a joking kind of person?”

“As I said, I do not understand you. I hope I never do.”

“What’s there to understand?” asked Twilight. “Once you think about the situation, I’m sure you’ll find everything I do and say to be perfectly reasonable.”

“I don’t understand the cruelty of a person who murders a former friend in cold blood. The cruelty of a person who tortures those who have wronged them, physically and mentally, for no other reason than to assert dominance.”

“Moves and countermoves.”

“I beg pardon?” Now it was his turn to be a bit confused.

“It’s nothing but moves and countermoves. That’s what everything is, really. Actions and reactions,” explained Twilight. “Lyra’s move was her nostalgia trip. She tried to influence me to lighten up on her by exploiting our past. My countermove was Moondancer. I showed Lyra that the good old days… They were gone. There was nothing she could do to change things. That severely limited her options for other counters.”

“Ms. Sparkle, you are aware that you are talking about killing people, yes? Murder? You have committed the most heinous of crimes and you talk about it like it is of no concern. This isn’t a game.”

“In my experience, the only people who say that are the ones losing.”

“And I take it that you think you are winning?” asked the prosecutor. Twilight laughed, leaning forward at her stand.

“Of course not. I know I’m not winning,” chuckled Twilight. “The game is over, and I’ve already won.”