My mare-friend says I have been cheating, but is she a cheat herself?
The music fell away as a tall greying man in a slightly depressed and tie-less suit walked through one of the two back arches of the crowd stands at the rear of his set. "Good-morning Ponies. My god that still sounds weird to me." As he spoke he walked past the crowd, high-five's a plenty as he went. As he reached the stage he started up anew in a louder tone which was fortunately amplified by a magic microphone at his neck. "My first guest today says he is sick of his mare-friend questioning me whatever he does. He says cannot live a life without her and her friends badgering him. Today he wants the truth known and get this, he thinks she's cheated on him and this is all a ruse to avoid suspicion. Today we find out the truth, we have done a two lots of lie detectors, this is going to be one of those mornings I can just feel it. Big-Macintosh is on the Jeremy Kyle show."
To much applause a stallion with full red fur, a pair of blue jeans and a matching flannel shirt came through the left arch way way. His exposed arms where rippled with muscles which even through his fur showed their massive definition. His huge lumbar enforced with years of manual labour pressed slightly against the the buttons of his shirt. "So you're Big-Mac yes?" The question was asked as he settled into the chair nearest him and Jeremy took the other one.
"Eeyup." The farm hand plainly stated.
Jeremy has been hoping for a more dramatic or at least expressive response but had dealt with cagey people before even a stallion who called the show and still had to be coerced out of a toilet. "And you've come here because you think your mare-friend of five years has been cheating on you."
"Eeyup." The farm hand plainly stated.
Internally Jeremy sighed. He was gonna have to get this guy to talk or get someone else on for an argument. Otherwise this will be a bone dry episode. 'Always a danger with a few basically decent ponies.' "And now she has turned around and said you are the cheat yeah? Please say more than Eeuyp." The last of that sentence was in borderline racist Texas drawl which dragged a few laughs out of the audience.
Sorry you are gonna have to add the apple-family linguistics because fuck that shit.
"About a year ago, I go on a trip to a hoof-ball game and gave her a the wrong day back by accident. She thinks I was seeing another girl and all it was is an honest mistake." Still Big-Mac refused anything outside of straight and completely dead panned speech.
Jeremy was about to continue bleeding this strange rock-pony hybrid creature but suddenly a huge male dragon in a long leather Jacket, a black T-shirt and a pair of black jeans, burst out of the opposite side of the set and stormed towards the other large man, light played of his crown of green jagged scales eerily. As he advanced a purple Alicorn in white blouse and a pair of black suit trousers followed him looking worried. As the dragon approached his target, Big-Mac stood up as his to defend him self. The security guards came in and the dragon spoke. "Liar!" His voice was like sand paper and the runic scales on the teenage dragon's knuckles where glowing slightly a sign the unicorn following him knew was a way for him to burn of excess anger. "I was on that trip with you, it was me, you, Thunder-Lane and Rainbow Dash. We all went our separate ways after the match and got back the day you said. You said nothing about staying another day." Two enormous pegasus security guards where on the scene on edging the Dragon back away and the other trying to make Big-Mac sit but both where uneasy about what they could actually do if this sixteen year old Dragon actually went for it. His breed of dragons where legendary for three things, lighting fast flight, magic and strength. Between his rock hard, razor sharp talons and teeth and a palpable magical aura coming off him, he was likely capable of taking both of them if he wanted too. Spike had finally calmed off a little and backed off a little sensing the Discomfort he was causing. He didn't really want to harm Big-Mac but he cared for Fluttershy and due to her shy nature and how she had been so friendly when he had first arrived, he felt a certain duty to protect her.
During the whole entrance and confrontation Jeremy had gotten out of his seat and diplomatically retreated to the back lines. He had whispered a few lines in his Microphone calling for more security. As spike backed off the Alicorn that had followed him on ran to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. "Spike calm down. You're better than this." Her voice was firm but not harsh and seemed to almost instantly tranquillize the Dragon who turned to her and stepped further away from Big-Mac towards her. She placed her other hand on his side and he took the hint giving her a quick hug before they both turned to Jeremy expectantly, the audience fawned over the little display. "Well that was unexpected who they hell are you." In reality Jeremy knew exactly who Twilight was as she was famous for her element baring and world savings Across Equestria. The Dragon he also suspected to be her her Dragon assistant Spike but some things had clearly changed between them and about the Drake himself. When Jeremy had seen the old reports after his apparition here, the Dragon has looked small and cute. Now the chubbiness was gone and had been replaced by a plating of scales which coated a frame that was only slightly smaller than Big-Mac and dwarfed Jeremy and Twilight.
"Sorry about that Jeremy, I just couldn't let him get away with that rubbish." Big-Mac looked offended and scoffed slightly. "I'm spike, Twi's old assistant and general friend to the elements. I have known Fluttershy since I was eleven and bar Twilight she was my first friend in Ponyville." The drake extended his hand for a shake which Jeremy accepted noticing that whilst his grip wasn't forceful his scales flexed to accommodate the other hand. Making a mental note to look into how Dragon scales worked he broke away.
"Well I get the defensiveness of an old friend but kicking off and making a scene will get us no where and look. You've flustered Steve." The viewing crystals behind them Showed a blushing, grey furred and mane-less pegasus stallion spike recognised as the one that had got in his way. The audience peeled with laughter as the blush rose further in the clearly uncomfortable stallion. "Oh come on Steve you are as well known as I am by know, you have to get used to the camera. Right back into the pod you two and I will call you when I need you." Jeremy said shooing them off.
"Sorry about that Jeremy." Said Twilight looking really guilty and grabbing Spikes hand leading him off stage. As they walked he slipped his hand free put in around her shoulder and nuzzled her cheek before grinning smugly to the audience and disappearing into the archway. The audience applauded him and Jeremy together and a few even wolf whistled to them increasing the mirth.
"Well that was sudden wasn't it." Jeremy exclaimed looking exasperated at his audience. "I always thought she was like his mom in some strange way. Eh, I've seen stranger things since I came here." he looked pensive for a moment then he smiled. "Steve mate? Where are you?" He started walking off to the side. Finally he caught up with his quarry and brought on the furiously blushing pegasus. "You alright mate? You looked a bit flustered their. Worried Puff the magic dragon was gonna be to much for you. For big old Stevie." He gave a rueful smile and placed a hand on the big stallion's pectoral muscle. A low laughter was heard from the back of the set indicating a certain drake was enjoying the show.
"No Mr.Kyle" A thick northern accent.
"Oh for the love off god, both of the stallions on my stage are made of wood." He exclaimed tipping his head to the heavens before looking back at the slightly sweaty, very uncomfortable looking man before him. "Go on give him a round of applause Mares and Gentle-Colts." He shook his head as Steve quickly made his was off stage. "Well we have had the Drama at hand and we have had a good amount of Big-Mac's side of it so lets get the other one. Fluttershy's on the Jeremy Kyle Show!" The audience exploded into applause and timidly from the side Spike had exploded from before, a mare with a pink mane, yellow fur and a white summer dress edged onto the stage. "Come on love we need to get this done." Jeremy said trying to encourage her to take a seat faster but he felt a twang of guilt when she viably flinched. Either way she still did come over and sit down looking incredibly nervous. "Are you okay? How are you doing love?"
Fluttershy had come on leaps and bounds since becoming an element but she was still cripplingly shy before a crowd. "I'm *squeak* fine thank you." She watched his face not even looking at Big-Mac who has only briefly cast his eyes over her before continuing to stair into space. Jeremy made a internal note of that on his rap sheet.
"Well your friend seems to be extremely defensive, I have heard from many people you might have trouble explaining your side? Because I can get someone else to help if you want." Jeremy didn't want to make one of his guests look weak but at the same time he wasn't going to put strain on what seemed to be a perfectly nice but timid mare. "Although it is fairly well known you told of a full-grown dragon so how you can be so sweet and shy is a bit of a mystery."
"Thank you but..." Fluttershy gulped realising she was cutting off some help but knew she was right. "My friends say I need to stand up for myself and they are right. If that is okay with you." She came on like a bolt of lightning but wilted under the gazes of the audience. Re hardening her approach she started up again. "He keeps accusing me but... All I do is go and spend some time with my friends he knows and that I knew before we even got together."
"And you say whenever you go and try to be with friends he gets in the way and causes arguments?" Jeremy had dropped his attempts to please his crowd completely as he was now more interested in getting down to the issue. As innocent as both of these ponies seemed he couldn't seem to drift to either side as he often did. "And he has even accused you of sleeping with Spike there who seems to have made himself very well known."
"Yeah that's right. I wouldn't do that I could never betray Twilight like that." 'Bingo, they are together,' Thought Jeremy She was looking down at the floor and slowly breathing as if to make her self a hard to notice as possible.
"And what have the last few months been like whilst all of this going on. Hardly what most ponies would describe as domestic bliss surely?" He said this constantly trying, and failing, to catcher her eye and make her look up.
"Not... t-to great. We have argued a lot." Her voice was getting small and she looked like she wanted to fold away into her chair and disappear.
Jeremy knew she was not going to be able to go much further with her in this state so he decided to move it along. "So I think we know what is going on here and as they are so enthusiastic to be out here lets get them Back. "Twilight Sparkle and Spike the Dragon are on the Jeremy Kyle Show!." More applause and they reappeared.
Spike and Twilight where holding hands as they came back on. The audience died off a little faster as these guest weren't knew ground and it was obvious from the calm confident look on spikes face even under Big-Mac's scrutiny. They approached the chairs and sat leaving one more chair on Fluttershy's side unoccupied. Spike flexed his fists making his knuckle runes glow red for a few seconds pushing the three occupied chairs together before snaking a scaled arm around Twilight's figure. She gave him a bashful look before grabbing Fluttershy's hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
"I think I might be sick." Said Jeremy looking at the couple, he hated mushy guests with the sole exception of a fixed relationships. Besides this new grown up spike seemed like a bit of a toss-pot even if he was a faithful friend. He realized to late that that could misconstrued as a slight against Dragon-Pony romances and had spike not peeled with a belt of laughter he would have quickly tried to cover myself. "Anyway so you two believe Fluttershy here is innocent and this is all a guilty mind being paranoid right?" Both affirmed him and Jeremy would have continued but...
"LIES." Came a drawling shout from behind the walls of the set. This was followed by the sounds of footsteps and then a fairly tall well built woman dressed almost the same as Big-Mac but with a Red shirt instead of his blue. "And I know lies." Apple Jack walked onto the stage unabashed with all eyes on her. Jeremy turned to his audience and stuck up two fingers palm out mouthing. Twice in one show, god sake.
"Hello. who are you?" Jeremy asked putting himself between the intruder and his current guests wondering to himself why when dealing with the archetypes friendship there was this much in-fighting. 'God sake, these should be emotionally mature ponies that can live there lives and we've had a borderline attack and three uninvited guests on stage.'
"I'm his sister, the element of honesty, I know lies and that is a lie." She sounded sure of herself to a serious degree and almost had a swagger about herself as she flopped down on a chair next to her big brother. "Well you could be the god of honesty for all I care you wait til I... Oh sod it. I know all bar one of the elements are in the wings and the other is in the crowd I want you all on stage now."
Rarity trotted on, wearing a stylish cut blouse suite. She sat alongside Apple Jack and Big-Mac, filling his corner. At the same time Rainbow Dash dressed in Jeans and a white T-shirt sped on stage. Now with no seats available a pink mare trotted down in a pink hoodie and jeans combo. wandered on stage and stood between the two party's until someone fetched her a chair which she set a little bit back still between then. "Right I'll skip the nonsense about asking who you are. Rarity why are you on Big-Mac's side here?"
"Well you see darling" 'Oohhs' came from the crowd much to Jeremy's chagrin. Rarity spoke with a forced upper class accent which sounded to Jeremy like a weak set of accentuations over her normal voice just for the camera. "I know, for want of a better phrase, how a mare walks after a good rutting." The crowd burst into thunderous laughter shared by everyone on the stage bar Fluttershy, Big-Mac, Twilight and Spike. Spike couldn't bring himself to laugh, him and rarity where awkward, not that he would move his arm from around Twilight because of her presence in a million years though.
"Well, that must be a first for the Jeremy Kyle show." Jeremy said hoping to insert a decent light chunk before he really got into the section he had a bad feeling about. "I think you cheated because you walk like you've had a..."
"GOOD RUTTING"
"Yes thank you guys." Jeremy faked his irritation at his crowd having got exactly what he wanted. "Back to the story. Rainbow Dash why are you on Fluttershy's side for this?"
"Well Jeza I"
"No hold on what?!" Asked Jeremy appalled at the name. "You aren't calling me Jeza. Carry on anyway"
"Sorry. Jeremy" That line was sarcastically sweet enough to give some ponies diabetes. "I have known Fluttershy since we where fillies. Off all people in the world she is the last I would expect to be cheating on anyone."
"And what about you Pinkie?" Jeremy asked really pushing things along as he was forming his assumptions in his mind and wanted to test them.
"Well you see. I have known Fluttershy for like ever and ever but I have known Big-Mac for ever and ever two and I can't see either of them cheating on one and other but at the same time I see why both of the them think it. I don't know what to think." The pink party pony's hair deflated slightly making everyone pitty her and slightly uneasy at the same time.
"Finally Twilight." Jeremy was bored now and hoped this would be short.
Jeremy was very disappointed. Twilight went on a tangent about several theories and in depth character notes about Fluttershy she had made over the friendship. At one point Pinkie even accused her of plagiarising a wiki non of them knew anything about.
"Well I don't know about the audience and my crew but I am not finishing myself going to a certain side today. We have already had a brief testimonial from Spike and it is the only solid think I have been told today that I could understand." Jeremy looked pointedly in Twilight's direction whilst Spike smiled slightly smugly but dropped it quickly. "Shall we just skip straight to the results?" There was a low agreement from everyone involved so Jeremy called out. "Can I have those results." A stallion with headset handed him a pair of envelopes. "I reckon I can guess the content of both of these. Let's get down to it then." With that he opened both envelopes and stuck on a poker face. "Shall we start with Fluttershy's, not like it makes a difference in the end." Again quite acceptance as the crowd wound up waiting. "Statement from the examiner; before the test Fluttershy admitted admitted to having contact and passionate kissing with someone other than Big-Mac during the relationship so we changed the Questions." There was a stampede of Big-Mac's side jeering with the sole exception with the still stone faced Bi-Mac. Whilst he sat numb Fluttershy flinched into herself as Rainbow, Twilight and Spike Gave her questioning glances.
"I knew it. Come on Big Brother."
"Ah-Ah-Ah. Not so fast." Said a positively grim looking Jeremy. "The knew questions where a follows. We asked Fluttershy; during your relationship with Big-Mac aside from the one pony you have just admitted to have you passionately kissed anyone else. She said No. Why did you say no."
"I was telling to truth." Her voice was small and crushed.
"She was telling the truth. We asked Fluttershy; during your relationship with Big-Mac aside from the one person you have just admitted to, have you sexual contact aside from kissing form anyone else. She said No. Why did you say no."
"I was telling to truth."
"She was telling the truth. We asked Fluttershy; during your relationship with Big-Mac, have you sexual intercourse with anyone else. She said No. Why did you say no."
"I was telling to truth."
"She was telling the truth, it was just the one then and just contact not full intercourse." Jeremy said feeling slightly disgusted by the sight before him. Twilight could have sworn she felt some air displacement and picked up a quiet satisfied sigh but dismissed it being far to shocked with the mare who's side she had taken.
"What does the number and base score matter. I knew she was lying." Apple Jack said, with what a few ponies would have sworn was a sadistic grin on her face. She rose to her feet.
"Sit now!" Jeremy practically shouted getting close to the end of his tether with her. "We asked Big Macintosh; since the start of your relationship with Fluttershy have you passionately kissed anyone else. You said no, why did you say no." His voice was heavy with barely hidden fury.
"I was telling the truth."
"Sorry to Tell you this Apple Jack, your almighty brothers every but as much of a liar as her. In fact he failed every single question and didn't even confess to the examiner." Jeremy was no longer hiding his Disgust. Apple Jack and Rarity then reacted to Big-Mac as the other side had Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie was just sat between the two looking Dismal whilst Fluttershy was actually crying. "There is no use crying love you to are pretty much as bad as each other. You both sat their guilty as sin saying nothing." Fluttershy wilted under Jeremy's words as his conscience stabbed him.
Fluttershy's side was still stunned with her due to the recent nature of their estrangement to the extend they didn't react but Rarity and Apple Jack didn't have that issue. They practically fell over one and other coming to her defence both saying. "Hey leave her alone." With their assorted cringe-worthy accents.
'Bingo' Jeremy thought. "I take no pleasure from it mares but this relationship is a Joke and look what it is doing to the supposed model friends of Equestria. You are all about spreading friendship, not lies and taking sides of frankly the same coin." It was almost like glass shattered as the Element barres looked to one and other.
"Oh girls I am so sorry." Fluttershy wailed as she got up and ran for the door. However she crashed into a pair of arms. Yelping slightly as she was pulled into an embrace but as soon as she realized who it was she relaxed and hugged back crying into his chest. The audience gasped and a few ever looked as if they wanted to flee a the sight but fortunately no one did to engrossed in the display.
"Hey calm down, it will be okay shy. You and the girls have survived worse than this." He nuzzled her face gently letting his presence seep into the mare. She seemed to calm down stopping struggling and her crying dropped a lot. He added once she was calm enough. "After all you survived me didn't you." Discord met Fluttershy's eyes and gave her a light squeeze causing her tears to stop crying so heavily.
"Hello Discord, I don't remember inviting you to the show." Jeremy said genuinely surprised at the Draconequus' presence. He hadn't witnessed any of his exploits first hand hand but knew he was reformed. "What are you doing here?"
"I am not sure if she wants me or not but." Discord paused to take an arm away from Fluttershy's back to brush her mane out of her face and stare directly into her glittering teal eyes. "I am here for the mare I love." There was a gasp from the audience and the entire party on stage bar Rarity and Jeremy who had just had suspicions confirmed so looked rather self-satisfied. Rarity especially so as unlike Jeremy who only cottoned on when the Draconequus appeared, Rarity had thought this since the aligations about Fluttershy started.
"Oh Discord I do love you." Fluttershy said smashing her lips onto the smiling Draconequus loving the bizarre combo of the unclothed chest and the open tweed trench coat which was the upper part of his chaotic outfit. "I really do Discord, so much." She snuggled into the his shoulder and he rubbed his face against her. as the audience applauded heavily.
Finally the audience began to settle. "Well I think the issue now is less who has cheated or who is with who or any other point scoring like that." Jeremy paused drawing breath and hoping he would be able to pull this off. "You girls are supposed to be the glinting jewel of friendship that inspires peace, cooperation and prosperity across Equestria. I think Fluttershy and Big-Mac need to move on away from each other but you six need to sit with me and Graham and sort this out. This really is pathetic. I didn't get here until two years ago and even I know about your adventures, you are legends and here we are keeping Score and lying to each other." With that Jeremy looked at everyone on stage bar Fluttershy and Discord saying. "Everyone bar Big-Mac follow me. And by the way." He was now directly talking to Big-Mac. "If you want your relationship with your sister to survive this you had best tell her exactly how you deceived her and tell her exactly who it was." With that he lead his party off stage and into the back room. Every-pony-Dragon-Draconequus took seats on the long grey Sofa. Fluttershy was one end of the central group with Discord to her left. The other end was Twilight and Spike. "Mares this is a mess." Jeremy said simply.
Fluttershy felt terrible, until know she hadn't really realised how much this could hurt her friendships. She had been so concerned with all the drama that the that been haunting her life for the past months that she had been blind to how bad things had gotten between her and some of her best friends. The ponies that stood by her helped her and in cases needed her. The ponies that loved her, all for one that she had been right about, he hadn't. "I am so sorry girls." Fluttershy repeated looking at the most honest person she had ever known.
Apple Jack looked back and her own self reflection damn near broke her. Voices struck her like knives with the some times vicious things she had said to her timid friend. Without even needing to think about it she grabbed a hold of Fluttershy pulling her into a tight hug and both started crying into the others shoulders. "Never again darling, never again." Rarity unable to hide her emotion as she often was joined the hug passionately apologising before being enveloped in the entire council of friendship in a massive orgy of tears and apologies.
Spike and Discord who where now on the fringes, abandoned, passed a knowing look between them and then shot it to Jeremy who returned it in full. "You know. I think we are pretty much done here. It's obvious who you cheated with and it doesn't really matter who him out there cheated with. What matters here is a group of friends moving past all this rubbish created by a bad relationship." Jeremy smiled at the group. "I've seen a lot of ponies on this show. And a lot of people on the last one I did before coming here. I can tell you all now, Fluttershy is a fundamentally decent mare and so are the rest of you. I can see it right now you are all gonna be fine but you need to learn what is best to focus on when a situation like this comes up." Jeremy left off preparing to leave and cut the show but...
Fluttershy had stopped crying and started listening until finally she had an idea. "Spike, I know it has been a little while but take a note." Within seconds the Drake was all ears and with a little puff of fire from a quick strike to his chest he had a pen and paper. "Dear Princess Celestia, Today I learned a very valuable lesson about friendship. Today I learned that regardless of what happens and what mistakes you may have made." Discord looked terribly hurt by that, which fortunately Fluttershy caught. "I don't regret us I regret having to hid us Dissy." She said sweetly as Spike shook his head realising he had written that and starting from the top. Finally having caught up after his blunder the Dragon beckoned his old friend to continue. "No matter what problems you may be having you should never go against what is right and lie to the people who care about you. Because nothing is as important as the people who trust you and care for you, lie to them and you risk losing that. I am lucky to have such fantastic friends to be able to move past my mistakes. Your faithful subject. Fluttershy, and also maybe sponsor the show a little." Spike stopped writing when he realised Jeremy had cut in who grinned bashfully earning a laugh and opening what was to become a long friendship with the elements. Shaking his head, Spike sent the add laced letter to Celestia and pulled Twilight back to him as Discord did the same to Fluttershy.
