Excerpts of Idiocy

"Can I get one carrot dog, please? Heavy on the- Uff!" Lyra whipped around to glare at the pony that had touched her flank, only to find...no one. Aside from the mare a few hooves away, poking her head down an alleyway, the street was devoid of other ponies.
"You better run!" the mare called down the alley. "I'm comin' for ya! ...Eventually." With that, she turned and began walking toward the food cart. It was an earth mare with a cream colored coat and perfectly curled, dark blue and pink mane and tail. Her blue-green eyes seemed tired, and her hoofsteps were a little slower than usual. Lyra could've sworn she'd seen this mare around town before.
""Scuse me, miss? You gonna order or not?"
Lyra's attention was pulled back to the now-irritated pony behind the food cart. "Y-Yes. Um, one carrot dog with extra- Hey!"
"Not again! Get back here, you little... I'll...buy you a carrot dog?"
"Who in Equestria are you talking to?" Lyra asked the mare, who faced the unicorn with a confused expression.
"My friend's colt. She asked me to foalsit for the afternoon, and I had no idea he was such a nuisance! No wonder his mom wanted some alone time, am I right?"
The mare's goofy, slightly crooked, perfectly white smile wouldn't stop Lyra from further questioning. Much. "Likely story. Is that your excuse? I mean, come on, I've heard worse. You could at least give it to me straight."
"W-What do you mean?"
"Drop the act! It was you who touched my flank, was it not?"
"Um..." She hesitated. "Yes and no. The colt keeps darting around like a fish. He bumped into me and I...miiight've ended up bumping into your rear."
Lyra couldn't help but chuckle. "Alright, if that's your story." She cleared her throat, looking at the carrot dog pony again.
"But I'm..." She sighed. "Never mind."
"Finally! A carrot dog, extra relish, just a little mustard."
"That'll be eight bits."

The unicorn pulled the bits out of her saddlebags, leaning over to deposit them on the counter and grab her prize. She was so close! Suddenly she was nudged forward and sent the bits flying all over. "Ugggh, not again! Look, lady, I don't what you're getting at-"
The mare looked genuinely sorry, her hooves in a position that indicated she was ready to walk away. "I don't know if you choose to believe me or not, but this stinker right here did it." She pushed a foal in front of her with a hoof, apparently having caught the scoundrel.
"It was really was you, eh, squirt?"
Giggling was the only answer she got.
"Tried to tell you. Anyway, I better get him back to his mom."
"Wait - haven't...haven't I seen you around town before?"
"If by 'see' you mean buying something from The Cocoa Confectionery, then yes. I run and own it."
"Bon-Bon, right?"
"Yeah. Look, I said I have to get him back to his mother." Bon-Bon turned away for a second, then looked over her shoulder at Lyra. "Maybe you should drop by sometime. I might have something waiting for you."
A grin split across Lyra's face as the mare began walking down the street. "I'll definitely drop by!"
"I'll be waiting!"
Lyra watched her turn the corner, feeling warm and fuzzy inside. "Definitely."