No spell for that

by Jeweled Pen

Rating: teen
Tags: Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 52161

Twilight meets a young stalli... mare at her old school, with a problem that even her great magic can't fix. Despite her desire to give aid, there are some things even a princess can't fix. After all, when born in the wrong body, how can you fix it?

Following a speech at her old school, Twilight meets a young stalli... mare who wants to ask her a simple question. Was there a spell that could fix her and make her what she always wanted? Sadly, there is some things even magic and friendship can't fix.

The princess soon finds herself learning about a new group of ponies she never knew existed, while a young mare struggles with her own identity and being born in the wrong body.

Published 2016-03-09 19:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-03-23 18:00:30 UTC

Chapter 1: Drifting

Twilight grinned and pointed towards the chalkboard, snapping the ruler against the drawing of the scroll. “And, in closing, if this adventure taught me anything, it's that the magic of friendship can solve any problem life throws at you.” She looked out over the class of unicorns who stared at her. Some with expressions of boredom, others with wide eyed attention. And, more than a few, with the glimmering eyes of those who loved their 'princess'. She wondered how long until that would start to feel old? “So, when you go through your senior year, always remember. The friendships you make now are always important. They may not determine the future of Equestria in quite the way mine has, but that doesn't make them any less important. The magic of friendship is powerful and it lives in us all, so treasure those bonds you make and all those who you are close to. Thank you,” she said before turning and trotting back to her seat. The purple alicorn took a seat, greeted by applause as a unicorn in a suit and tie stepped forward.

“Thank you, Princess Twilight, for this rousing speech. Now, everypony, as I'm sure you're all excited to finish your first day of school, please be careful as you make your way out of the auditorium. Watch out for--”

Twilight toned the principal out as she glanced down at the seat besides her. A purple unicorn sat in it. “So, Starlight, how did I do? I hope you didn't feel too upset with me... talking about the events of--”

“Not at all,” Starlight said quickly, shaking her head. “I uhhh... I've learned my lesson. Besides, if it teaches ponies about... friendship, that's good, right?”

Twilight nodded. “You didn't have to come, though. If you didn't want to. I--”

“Nonsense!” the mare said quickly. “Last time I was here... well... I still owe you for everything. I think assisting you on one of these... events is the least I can do.” She then paused. “Did... you really have to mention the crystal thing, though? I wouldn't have let you fall to your death. Probably. I mean... you are an alicorn.”

Twilight blanched. “I-I'm sorry, I just thought the action would help keep the ponies interested. I think I was losing a few. I-I didn't mean to--”

“It's fine, really, it's fine,” Starlight said before lowering her eyes. “So, what's next?”

“Oh, I wanted to do a tour of the grounds.” Twilight said with a slightly far-too-innocent look.

“Weren't you raised here?”

“W-well, sorta. Just... errr...” She poked her hooves together.

“... What is it?”

“They added a second wing to the library and I heard they have over four hundred new books and I really really want to see if there's any I haven't gotten my hooves on yet!”

Starlight gave a soft little chuckle, before nodding. “I don't see any problem with that.”

“Sqwee!” Twilight said, happily clapping her hooves together.

The unicorn cocked an eye. “Did... you really think I'd say no?”

“Err...”

“I almost destroyed Equestria. I think spending a few hours in a library are the least of my problems.”

“Thanks, I--” She blinked a few times. “Hours?”

“Spike warned me about the other wing. Why did you think he was gracious enough to let me take his place?”

The alicorn scowled. Clever little dragon. She then perked up. “I'll make it as quick as I can, honest!”

“It's fine, princess. Really, I don't mind. I could do some studying, too.”

Twilight raced as fast as she dared(at a quick trot. After all, it was still a library). Her excitement could barely be contained. A whole other wing of the library and, best of all, in advanced magics! Advanced transformations, advanced medical spells, advanced teleportation, advanced transdimensional summoning. She frowned and wondered if maybe one day she should write her own advanced friendship magic book. She started looking over the rows of books, before gasping. “Yes!” She pulled out 'Transdimensional teleportation and you, an explorer's guide to the chaos realm'. “Ohhhh, this will infuriate Discord soooo much. I'll visit him and--” She blinked, looking around. Starlight was gone. She frowned. “I'm not that bad.”

She shrugged and flipped the book open. She was on chapter twelve when she felt a tap on her flank. She paused and looked back. “Starlight?”

Instead there was a small white unicorn mare there, with a red mane. She was wearing a small, flowing blue dress with white cloud designs on the bottom and a star over the chest. It took her a moment to realize it was one of RARITY'S designs. Well, she didn't know much about this child yet, but she knew she liked her tastes, at least. She wasn't that old, in that awkward phase where almost a mare and no longer quite a filly.

“N-no. I... I'm... ummm... I-I'm...” the mare chewed on her lower lip a little bit. “I'm uhhh... Petal. Drifting Petal. I... err... I just... are you Princess... Princess T-Twilight?”

The princess blinked a few times before looking up. She couldn't see it, but she could definitely feel the crown on her head, as well as her horn. She then looked to the side. Yup, wings still there. “Yes, I am.”

“I... I just... I ummm... I'm sorry to bother you.” Her voice sounded very soft and oddly breathy, difficult to hear. Poor dear must have been terrified.

Twilight shook her head. “Nonsense,” she said before turning around and smiling at the mare. “There's no need to be scared of me, and you don't need to talk in that funny voice. Come on, no need to be shy.”

The mare cringed. “T-this is my voice. My... normal voice.”

“Err... right. What can I help you with?”

“I... I ummm...” Her horn glowed and she pulled out a small book. It was titled 'My adventures and victory* in Ponyville, by the Great and Powerful Trixie Lulamoon'. Under that it said '*and minor defeat' in tiny letters. “I... I wanted to know if this was true...”

Twilight sighed and face hoofed. She'd have to read that one later as well, though she wasn't expecting she'd enjoy it. “I'm afraid I haven't read it. Of which part?”

“The... final duel with Trixie. It says here you ummm...” She flipped open the book to the only marked page. “You performed a lot of very powerful, high end magic. Aging spells, duplication magic, high level... transformation magic?”

“Ohhhh, that. I'm afraid that was just a ruse to catch Trixie off guard. The spells themselves weren't done at all. In fact, the aging spells are so rare and powerful that I'm not sure if any pony can cast them any more. At least not without some powerful artifact. The duplication spell and gender changing spells are absolutely impossible. Even with the alicorn amulet Trixie was so amazed by them I doubt even its great power could make them possible. I...” She trailed off as she stared at the little mare. The thing looked absolutely crushed, almost broken. Her eyes had gotten all watery and downcast, her head lowered. Even her horn looked like it had lost its gleam. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Oh... I ummm... y-yes. I'm fine, s-sorry,” the mare said quickly, instantly forming a forced smile on her lips. “I just... n-needed to know for a research paper. T-thank you princess,” she said, her voice cracking. She turned and quickly galloped out of the room, leaving a very confused Twilight behind.

“That... was strange,” she said with a shrug. She then grinned none the less. “Oh, researching forbidden, impossible magic. I remember when I used to do that. My, it seems like only yesterday I summoned a full grown dragon onto the gym.” She then paused. “W-wait. Duplication spells.” Her mind suddenly filled with images of thousands of dragons falling all over the school. Or worse, the return of a thousand Pinkies. She took a slow, deep breath before glancing back to her book, then sliding it back into the shelf. “Later, my sweet,” she said softly, before trotting out of the room towards the principal's office.

Twilight gently knocked on the door, grinning softly to herself. There was probably nothing to be worried about. Probably. But then, that was what she thought before the jelly belly march madness surprise incident, and half the faculty knew how THAT ended. Well, the ones who hadn't quit.

The door opened and the suited up stallion smiled back at her. “Ah! Princess, I trust everything is well? The students haven't been giving you any problems, have they?”

“Oh no, not at all, principal Higher. They've all been exceptionally friendly and polite. I just...” She frowned and tapped her hoof against her chin. “I'm... not sure how to say this. I'm just a little concerned for one of your students.”

“Concerned? Whatever for?” the stallion asked before he turned back and trotted towards his desk. “I assure you, we have maintained the standard of excellence that we had when you attended our fine school.”

“Oh, I can see that. Well... I'd hate to get a pony in trouble, but they asked me some questions and I'm a little worried that she might be tampering with... dangerous magic.”

“Oh dear, oh dear. Well, worry not, I'm sure we can discreetly handle the situation and stop the dear from hurting herself. It would hardly be the first time some new student here got a little over their head, though I'm sure you know that more than anypony. Tell me, did you catch her name?”

“Drifting Petal.”

The principal froze for a second there, before the smile slowly faded. “You... ahhh... princess, you've met with Drifting Petal?” She couldn't be sure, but there seemed to be a little hint of sweat on his brow.

“Err, yes? Is something wrong with her?”

“With her? Oh, no no. Well... a little. She is a tiny bit of a trouble maker, but I assure you she is no threat. She's just... special.”

“Special?” Twilight asked, cocking her head to the side.

“Yes, special. Not in the manner you were, of course your highness. She is... talented, I'll grant her. But nowhere near the extent you were. She's just a sophomore. Nothing you need to concern yourself with.”

“Really? She seemed pretty upset.”

“Oh, she's always upset about something or another, trust me,” Higher said with just a hint of annoyance. “But please, don't worry about her. She's completely under control. I'll have one of the faculty talk with her about this... incident. So please, put it out of your mind.”

“Well... I... suppose. Thank you. As long as you're sure she's okay.” She frowned and eyed the stallion for a moment. “Maybe I could talk with some of her friends?”

“She doesn't have any friends. Trust me,” he muttered a bit more darkly than he likely intended.

“Wait, she doesn't?” Her eyes lit up with glee. Yes, friendship problem! A new letter to send to the princess!

“No, she moved here recently and--”

“Is too shy to make friends, of course. Well, worry not, Principal Higher Learning! As the Princess of Friendship, I will deal with this manner personally!”

“Wait, what? No! No no, there's no need for--”

“Don't worry, it's no problem. This is my job, my duty!”

“Princess, please, there's no need to--”

“Nonsense. So, where can I find this mare?”

“Oh heavens,” he said before face hoofing. “Really, please. Princess, don't. There's... no need to worry yourself about that pony. She'll be fine.”

“It's my duty,” she said again, proudly.

He sighed. “She's... in the Starswirl wing, floor three, room J.”

“Okay!” she said, turning to walk away.

“Princess!” he called after her.

“Yes?”

“Just... I... did warn you. Remember that.”

She nodded. “Of course,” she said before walking away. She frowned about halfway down the hall. Starswirl Wing? She didn't remember ever going there. She lived in the Clover wing, with--

Ohhhh! The Starswirl wing was the colt's dorms. Funny, she didn't remember them mentioning they were going co-ed. Wow, the school really had changed since she'd been here last.

Something was wrong. Something was very, very wrong. Twilight just couldn't figure out what. The moment she stepped into the Starswirl Wing, most the ponies stared at her. That was normal, in fact she was used to it. However, the problem was they were all colts and young stallions. The only mares she saw were about her age or older, likely parents. She did hope the principal had given her the right location. None the less, she made her way up the stairs and soon found the door. J.

She slowly reached out and knocked on it a few times. There was no answer. She frowned and knocked a few more times. “Hello?”

“Go away! I'm not... I'm not in the mood!” a voice called from inside. It sounded like Drifting, but kind of foggy and odd.

She took a deep breath. “Please open up. I'm here to talk with you, Miss Petal.” She blinked as she heard laughter from down the hall. After a few moments the door opened and a tear covered Drifting peeped through.

Twilight waved gently.

The mare shrieked and slammed the door. “It's not a crime I don't wanna go to jail am I getting expelled I'm sorry I'm sorry!” Okay, now her voice sound a lot deeper. And filled with panic.

The princess stared. “Err... no, you're not. The principal told me about your situation and I came to help,” she said proudly. Okay, now there was even more laughter from down the hall. Just what was so funny? She had the distinct impression they were laughing at her, but she couldn't imagine why. “Could you please open up.”

Slowly the door opened. “Y-you're going to... help me?” Drifting asked softly.

“Of course. May I come in?”

The mare nodded and slowly stepped back, widening the door for Twilight. The princess stepped in and took a look around. It... didn't look like how she'd have imagined it. In fact, it looked almost completely bare. There was a small bed, a couple boxes, and she could see a mirror, dozens of makeup containers lined out in front of it. There were even three dresses hung up on a little rack, but that was it. “Haven't finished moving in?”

“Moved in a few months ago,” Drifting said softly. “Y-you're going to help me? But... you said the spell was impossible...”

“Nonsense!” she said with a nod. “You don't need magic for this.” She walked to the center of the room and grinned at her. “You just need the right mindset and--”

“GET OUT!” Drifting screamed, the tears forming in her eyes again.

“E-excuse me?”

“Y-you c-can't just fix me!” she screamed, covering her face with her hooves. “I-I've tried and I've tried a-and it just doesn't work t-there isn't... there isn't fixing this!”

Twilight stared, her mouth falling open. She didn't know what to do, something was definitely wrong here. She had no idea what to do. The child was horribly upset and, somehow, she'd poured fire on the wound. What would Celestia do?

She blinked and slowly stepped forward, pulling the child into a hug and wrapping her wings around her. “There there, child. It's okay. I... I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to help you make friends. That's all. There's nothing wrong with you that needs to be fixed.”

Drifting sniffled. “R-really?”

“Of course not. I'm sure you're a delightful young mare who... are you okay?” Now the child was smiling as she cried. Twilight really felt she was missing something.

“You... you called me a mare...”

“Err... you are, aren't you?”

“Y-yes, yes I am...” the young mare said softly, closing her eyes.

Twilight frowned as she looked around the room. Something here was missing. Something important. Why in Equestria was the child so upset? 'Fix' her? What needed to be fixed? Not to mention she was in such a strange place, last time she was here the Starswirl Wing was for the colts and stallions, not--

A light went off in her head and she looked down at the sobbing mare. The rather... odd voice. The crying fits. The laughing children. The principal's reaction. Buck, the questions about the transformation magic she'd used. “You're a stallion!” she blurted out. Instantly she regretted it as the child looked as if she'd just been stabbed, recoiling from the alicorn.

She stared up at her with tear stained eyes, her entire body shaking. “GET OUT!” she screamed.

“W-wait, Drifting, I didn't mean--”

“GET OUT! GET OUT!! GET OUT!!!” Drifting screamed as loud as she could, stomping her hooves with each and every word.

“I was just--”

“OUT!” she screamed, opening the door and tried to force the alicorn out. Drifting was only a young mare, barely beyond the state of being called a filly. Twilight was a slightly older mare, but also an alicorn. She wasn't going anywhere unless she wanted.

She slowly got to her hooves and let the other pony shove her out, the door slamming closed behind her. She could hear the sobs coming from inside the room and the laughter from down the hall. A feeling of guilt penetrated down to her core as she closed her eyes and disappeared in a flash of light.

Author's Note

I was honestly not going to publish this at first, but my friend convinced me to. This has kinda been a... side project I've been writing in my free time to help me sort out my feelings for the next few months. It's really helped keep me focused and brave, so I hope you like it. It's probably the closest I've ever come to writing a power fantasy, writing a character I really wish I could be as strong and brave as.

For those worrying about my other stories, don't worry. I'm working on this on the side. The second book of my Avatar series is still coming along just fine and should be up soon. This has just been therapeutic.

Chapter 2: He? She? It?

Twilight appeared in the local hayburger and walked to the counter, a dazed look on her face. She had no idea how to process what just happened. She tried to think of some point of reference, anything, but she came up blank.

He said he was a mare, but he wasn't a mare, was he? Ugh, this whole thing was just confusing. She looked to the pony behind the counter. “Three hayburgers, medium, please,” she mumbled before walking to one of the many tables and taking a seat.

She was midway through her second one when the door swung open and Starlight stepped inside. “There you are! You know, I was looking all over for you?”

“Huh? Oh. Right. Sorry. I kinda... ran into some trouble.”

Starlight sighed and sat down across from her, pulling out a book. “Thought you'd left me here. I was about to take the train back, you know.”

“Hmm? How'd you know I was here?”

The unicorn didn't look up as she flipped open the book and started going through it. “How else? I spent... who knows how many months after you took apart my town stalking you. By the way, you eat at hayburger too much. You're a princess now, aren't you? You should really get a professional cook. Those'll go right to your thighs.”

Twilight's cheeks turned redder than the ketchup on them. She quickly tried to redirect the conversation. “So... you'll never guess what I just went through. What... I just met.”

“Hmmm?” Starlight asked, flipping a page. “A sphinx?”

“What? No. She was... he...” She struggled to think of the right word, before smiling. Of course! “It was a stallion, but it kept saying it was a mare and got really upset when I realized it was a stallion.”

Starlight blinked a few times and looked up. “Err... it?”

“Well... she... he... it's just easier to say it.”

The unicorn stared for a few long seconds. Then took a soft breath. “Wow. Just... so... cross dresser?”

Twilight blinked and then nodded rapidly. “R-right! Kinda like that except... well, it got really upset when I called it a stallion.”

Starlight gave another sigh. “Please stop calling it... her... an it. I... think I know what you're talking about.”

“But he got really upset--”

“Then you should probably call her a her if it upsets you so much upsetting her.”

Twilight blinked a few times. She then lowered her eyes. “Sorry. She was just...”

“You've never met someone like that?”

“No. Have you?”

“Oh, a ton. Remember my little village? We had a bunch come there.”

“W-what?”

“Oh yeah, nice ponies for the most part. Turns out the whole everypony being equal thing is a big draw for ponies like them. So long as they got to be the treated and called the gender they wanted, they were more than happy to give up their cutie marks. At least, the ones that came.”

“And... you just did that?”

Starlight glanced down at her book again. “Sure, why not? If a stallion wants to be called a mare and a mare wants to be called a stallion, who cares? Isn't like they're hurting anypony. They tended to hide away a lot, though. Worked all the same.”

“But it's not... normal...”

“Says the mare with a pet dragon.”

“Assistant dragon!”

“Why do you care so much? She's not hurting you any, so just call her what she wants.”

Twilight sighed and looked down. “I... I guess. She... did seem pretty upset.”

“How'd you even meet a pony like that?” Starlight asked as she flipped a page.

“W-well, he-- she-- asked me a question. When I asked the principal about it-- her, he said she didn't have any friends.”

“Not surprising. Pony like that probably hides away a lot.”

“Do... you think if we got him some friends, it would help fix her?”

“Are they really good friends if they make you change who you are?”

“Good... point.” Twilight sighed. “But... I... kinda feel really bad for her. You should have seen her face, she was heart broken. I... wish there was something I could do. Do you think I could help her make friends?”

“Maybe? Making friends isn't always easy, though. Especially if you hide away a lot.”

“I never had any problems and I was a bit... secluded.”

“Hmm. The princess' personal protege had ponies trying to be her friend. Imagine that. A wonder you didn't have more trouble.”

Twilight cringed. “O... kay. Point taken. But... I need to make it up to him somehow.”

“Her.”

“Right, her. You've dealt with these kinds of ponies before, right? What do you do to apologize to them?”

“Well, start calling her a her, for one. It's kind of a big deal to them. Two... I don't know? Get them a dress or something? I'll be honest, I didn't study them, I just met a bunch of them. All they really wanted was to be treated like and called whatever gender they chose. I just went along with that and there wasn't much trouble aside from when someponies decide to cause problems. I had a lot more to worry about that some ponies identity issues.”

Twilight tapped her chin, before nodding. “She did have one of Rarity's dresses. Maybe I could get something like that.” She got to her hooves. “I'm going to go visit the Canterlot Boutique. You can head home if you like, I'll head back once I'm done here.”

Starlight nodded. “Okay, have fun.” The moment the princess was out the door, she quickly reached over and took the last hayburger. “So many stake outs you have made possible my little caloric fiend...”

Twilight walked into the boutique, looking around nervously.

“Princess Twilight! Could it be true?” a voice called out. Before the princess could react, a light blue unicorn with a striped orange mane nearly tackled her. “It is, it is! Could it be? Is Miss Rarity with you?”

Twilight blushed and shook her head. “N-no, I'm afraid not, Sassy. I ummm... I actually need to talk with you. About making an order. A... special order.”

Sassy blinked, then smiled. “Ah. One of THOSE garments? Well, no matter. Here at the Canterlot Boutique, we offer all our clients a privacy guarantee. So, something in pleather, yes?”

Twilight blinked, then blushed. “N-no! It's not for me and it's not like that! Just a dress, a simple dress. Kind of an... apology.”

“Oh? Then just a simple dress? Well, no matter.”

“Well, errr, t-that's just it. It's... special. Ummm... you see... it... I mean...” She sighed. “It's for a stallion who thinks he's a mare.”

Sassy blinked and then snickered. “Truly, that's all? Just have her come down and I can take her measurements.”

Twilight paused and then stared. “That's... all?”

“Of course. Why?”

“You've made dresses for... stallions before?”

“Well, I thought you said she was a mare? But yes, Miss Rarity has made them for mares of the more... masculine variety.”

“Wait, so you've dealt with ponies like this before?” She grinned. “Is there a cure?”

Sassy paused. “Ex... cuse me?”

“Is there a cure? A way to make him... want to be a him, I guess?”

The unicorn stared at the alicorn. “Oh. Oh dear. Darling, please tell me this is not for a friend of yours.”

“Well... no, I just met him. Her. Him?”

“Ah. I see. Well, in that case, dear, do her a favor. Never talk about such things. It is extremely hurtful. Possibly leave her alone if you talk to her like that, yes?”

“Hurtful? But--”

“Dear, if the pony is willing to dress up as a mare and deal with whatever dangers or humiliations that may arise from it, who are you to judge? If it makes her happy, let her be a mare.”

“But... it's weird... there's just no reason for it.”

Sassy sighed. “You've never met a pony like that before, have you?”

Twilight shook her head. “I... haven't met a lot of ponies until recently, to be honest.”

“Well, trust me. There are plenty of ponies like that. I've met hundreds. And... while personally, I couldn't begin to tell you why they go through what they do, I can tell you I wouldn't wish it on anypony. I've heard every excuse and explanation under the sun, but the only thing I know for certain is their pain is real.”

Twilight blinked and then cringed as she thought back to that look on the stall-- mare's face. That pain, the sadness. “Really?”

“Oh, indeed. I've met dozens of ponies, both mares and stallions, who come here looking for some outfit to express their real selves. Some are confident and just ask, some are shy and will try desperately to explain away why what they are doing is natural. All the medical reasons for why they're like this. My favorite, though, is the 'my marefriend just happens to be the exact same size, weight, height and shape as me. So, ummm, make the dress as if it was on me, please.' My, you should see the way their eyes light up when they try it on.” She then frowned. “And the way they die again the moment they take it off and put on whatever they were wearing before.”

The alicorn sighed. “So... oh.” She thought back to the crying mare. “You'd... best make it three dresses.”

Sassy cringed. “Just... what did you do?”

“I think I might have broken her heart and dashed her hopes. So... three dresses should at least get me enough time to apologize.”

The unicorn trotted away and soon came back with three small pieces of paper, she held them out to the alicorn. “Here. Vouchers. Just sign them and when the mare comes to redeem them, they'll be charged to you. As a personal friend of Rarity, I'm sure she'll give you a special discount. And I know you wouldn't not pay.”

“O-of course,” Twilight said as she took them, turning to walk away.

“It might behoove the mare to come this weekend. I do believe Miss Rarity intends to run the boutique for a few days to take care of some orders. It would be the best chance to make sure a gown was chosen especially for her.”

“I'll make sure he... she knows.”

“Oh, and one more piece of advice, dear?”

“Yes?”

“If it upsets her so, don't call her a he.”

“... Right.”

Author's Note

I don't know why, but I really can imagine Rarity and Starlight having had a lot of experience with ponies like this. I wonder if that's weird?

Chapter 4: A little red letter

Drifting woke up bright and early, quickly jumping in front of the mirror before she began doing her morning routine. She grabbed a few of the products that she had been given, made a quick dash to the staff showers, cleaned up and then made a dash back. There were staff in the halls now, so all she got were a few mocking calls, she was fine with that.

Soon she sat in front of her mirror, ready to begin. She started by brushing her mane. It was a little shorter now, but it was properly cut and looked fabulous. She took a deep breath and her horn glowed. Slowly she moved the ribbon through it, before tying it at the top in that adorable little bow. Just like Rarity had showed her.

She sighed and put a hoof to her chin, thinking about that mare. So pretty and smart, she wondered if she could ever be like that. Maybe she could dye her mane purple and--

She shook her head. There was being a fan and then there was being a stalker. She preferred to not alienate one of the few ponies who seemed okay with her. She then began the slow process of getting into her dress before, finally looking into the mirror and pulling out all the little kits that Rarity had gotten her. Before long, she was done up just like she had been shown. She gave herself a seductive little wink and then giggled, a hoof coming up to her mouth.

She took one last, deep breath, grabbed her purse and made her way out of the room. She paused as she felt something underhoof. She blinked and picked up a small red letter, staring at it curiously before putting it in her purse. It could wait. She locked her door and trotted down the hall, heading out finally. She ignored the words they spewed at her as she made her way out of the school. They hurt, but she was used to them. Most of the insults were ones she'd heard a hundred times before, so she usually just ignored them.

Once she was out of the school and a few blocks away though, she felt better. She wore the princess dress and she felt amazing. Beautiful, even. Judging by a few of the looks she was getting, she looked good as well. Normally ponies just stared at her thoughtfully, as if they were trying to determine what was wrong. Today they were giving her passing glances and she couldn't help but notice a few were looking her up and down, or pretending not to. Without those looks of concentration or confusion, either.

She was sexy and she knew it. Or at least she believed it slightly over fifty percent. Like, fifty-one percent. She had a big smile on her face as she pushed open the doors to the Canterlot Boutique. It faded slightly when she saw Rarity was helping a customer already. However, almost instantly Sassy was at her side. “Oh, Miss Petal, a pleasure to see you today. Are you here for the other two dresses?”

“Ummm, yes,” she said, the nervousness beginning to creep over her once again. With the other, much prettier mare standing there, she felt her confidence begin to waver. She struggled to keep it standing, reinforcing it as best she could. “Do you know how long it'll be?”

“Not more than half an hour, I assure you,” Sassy said with a smile. “Rarity just has some matters to attend to.”

Drifting nodded. “Okay. The… ummm… princess isn't here, is she?”

“Oh, no. She went home after your visit last night. I'm not sure when she's due back.”

To the unicorn's surprise, she felt a little disappointment. The princess was terrifying, but it had been a little special having her attention for a while. She never thought she'd talk to a princess before, but the other day she'd actually been to the spa with her. She shook her head. “R-right. Thank you. I'll wait, thank you.” She gave a grin before trotting over to one of the chairs and sitting down, gently humming to herself. She was already feeling a little impatient, but she tried to shut those feelings down.

As amazing as Miss Rarity was, this was a place of business. She'd spent hours as the elder mare's focus yesterday, it would be greedy of her to do it again. Though she still wanted to. Instead she glanced into her purse, wishing she'd brought a hoofboy or something.

She sighed as her eyes fell on the red letter. She slowly scooped it up in her magic and glared at it. Red. The color of violence. It was probably another hate letter, or mild threat. She'd been fortunate not to receive any death threats yet, but she imagined it was more because the school wouldn't stand for such things. Instead, she usually received 'subtle' warnings of how things would go bad for her. She considered tossing it into the trash, but instead slowly peeled it open and emptied the contents.

Dear Drifting,

Huh. Better than 'Dear freak'. She quickly scanned over the contents.

She then froze and read it a second time. Then a third and fourth time, her cheeks getting redder with each and every read. She kept reading it, getting closer with each go through.

“Dear? Is something the matter?” Rarity asked before touching her shoulder.

Drifting shrieked and leaped into the air, tossing the letter to the heavens. “What? NO! Nothing, nothing wrong, I'm fine, I'm good, how are you? I'm good! I'm good good goodie good!”

Rarity cocked an eye, catching the letter in her magic. “Voice, dear.”

“E-err, right, sorry,” Drifting said, going back to her feminine voice quickly. She then yelped as she realized Rarity was reading the note. “W-wait--”

“Oh my. A love letter, already? From a secret admirer, no less. How scandalous.”

Drifting didn't think her face could get any redder. She was wrong. “It's… it's just...”

“Oh, no need to be shy, darling. You are quite the fetching young lady. It just took the proper care to reveal it.”

“But… I mean, i-it's not… the pony has to know a-and I'm not even sure, I mean, it's just… i-it could be anypony.”

“Oh? So you have no intentions of going to meet them on this… midnight rendezvous?”

Drifting's face got even redder. She was sure the make up was boiling away. “I… I never… said that. Besides, it's not at midnight. It's at… nine… that's not so late.”

“Of course it isn't,” Rarity said with a smile. “Hmmm… have you been on a date before?”

The mare slowly shook her head.

“Such a shame. Well then, how about we make it extra special, no?”

“Extra… special?”

“Indeed. You still have two more dresses, no? I was planning to have you choose two… but...” A wide grin formed on her lips. “How about I make you something extra special for your night tonight? Something to… truly wow this mystery pony? And you hold onto your third for now. Hm?”

“I… I think you're brilliant, Miss Rarity.”

“Good. Now, come along. As this is your date, I think it best you give some feedback as we work. I think… white should be the color of the evening. After all, a young maiden's first date, is there anything more pure?”

Drifting squirmed and got to her hooves, following after the other mare. She couldn't deny she was excited. Very, very excited now. She could do this. She would do this.

Eeeeeee. Best weekend EVER!

Drifting glanced towards the small bag laying on the table besides her. She was all gussied up and ready for the evening. Her purse had everything she'd need in case there was any trouble, a brush, some make-up, a few bits. There was no need to head back to her room, and therefore no need to go near the Starswirl Wing. She knew it would have been easier to go there and wait, but she just couldn't risk them finding out or blockading her in her room, waiting for her to try to sneak out.

No, instead the library turned out to be a much safer location. It would be easy, the moment she returned, she went off to one of the quieter sections, pulled out a few books and studied, though she couldn't remember anything she read. She was just far too excited. There'd be a librarian here til almost midnight, so she didn't need to worry about leaving late or getting in trouble. She wore the princess dress, but it would only take her a moment to try on the other dress. She'd have to dip into the bathrooms for a few minutes to do it, and fix her appearance, but that would be fine.

She had a date. Sorta. She'd never had one and she couldn't wait. But she had to be patient or she might not even make it. Still, her eyes kept drifting to the bag that housed her dress. She wanted so, so desperately to put it on. Compared to it, the princess dress almost felt cheap. A dress made just for her, to celebrate her first date. She couldn't dare risk anything happening to it.

But she wanted to go nowwwwww! She looked back to her book and she tried, once again, to do the impossible. Study. Normally transformation spells would have been so fascinating to her(especially long term ones, such as this one that could last up to a whole day), but now all of the magical theory flowed in one eye and out the other.

Was her secret admirer a stallion? A mare? Maybe it was somepony like her? Well, she knew that wasn't the case. If there was somepony else like her, then they'd have been outed by now. Unless maybe they lived off campus or were really good at hiding it. Why did they choose now to act? Was it the dress? The make up? It was probably all of it.

Eeeeee! She rocked back and forth in her chair, looking to the clock. Ugh, only a minute and a half had passed since she last looked. Come oooooon.

Drifting raced through the halls, as fast as she dared. It was almost time. Well, okay, she was still really, really early. But it was close enough she didn't have to feel too self conscious about it. She made her way straight to the teacher's rest rooms and quickly unlocked the door, before stepping inside. She let out a sigh of relief as she moved to the mirror. She looked at herself, adjusted her make up, fixed her mane, then slowly began to take off her dress, folding it as neatly as she could before, with great trepidation, drawing out the beautiful white gown.

It was, by far, the most pure and beautiful thing she owned. Whiter even than her coat, it flowed down around her back, just above her hooves. The front went over her chest into a small, silver petal that dangled around her throat, where the fabric went up to loop around her neck. It left her back bare, letting her mane and ribbon shine brightly through. It shimmered as well, every few streaks of thread seeming to have been made of silver, making it glimmer with each step. It also had four little silver horseshoes, shaped like vines that flowed up her legs. To most ponies, it probably wouldn't have seemed like much. But to her, it was the most beautiful thing in the world. It was hers, and hers alone. She doubted anypony would ever have such a gown like it, even if it was a bit simple. She could barely contain herself as she got dressed, did one last look at herself, then grabbed her bag and quickly made her way to the school field. It was empty tonight, so she knew the two of them would be alone. She wondered if the pony was shy?

A new thought occurred to her as she stopped by the bleachers. What if the pony was embarrassed by her? That's why they wanted to meet her alone? She looked down at her hooves. “Of… course they are. I'm embarrassed by me. Who wouldn't be?” She sat on the bleachers and sighed. “W-well, who cares? It's not like… anypony else is looking at me. So what if they're a little embarrassed by me? They… they are interested. That's all that matters. That's… all I could ever hope for, anyway...”

It still didn't make it hurt any less.

She heard hoofsteps and looked up, a wide grin on her face.

It evaporated quickly when she saw the three stallions walking towards her. “Well, hey, tranny. What brings you out here?”

Drifting instantly started looking around for a way out. There were three of them and they had her surrounded. Going through the seats wasn't possible, at least not fast enough. She stared back at them, trying to look as confident as she could, though her heart hammered in her chest. “You… you sent the letter?” she asked softly, her mouth dry with fear.

“What letter?” the one in front of her asked as he stopped, only a few feet from her. She couldn't move, she was too scared. “Why you dressed up like you're getting married, freak? You hoping to trick some stallion into the altar?” His friends laughed at the joke, but all she could do was frantically move her eyes, looking for some possible way to escape.

She was trapped.

Author's Note

Okay, here's where the story tends to get really dark. I was in a rather darker state when I wrote it and I actually found I had a LOT of issues I had to get through. I don't think I've gotten through all of them, yet, but I do feel better and it has helped a lot. Also is helping me face some issues I still have with my parents.

Sorry in advance for the... not sure how realistic the bullies actually sound. I spent pretty much my entire life up to being taken out of school and home schooled being bullied, but I can't remember a thing about the actual events themselves. I remember being bullied, I remember the pain, hatred, self loathing, eventually believing I deserved it(after all, when that many people gang up on you you've gotta deserve it, right?).

I also remember the survival instincts I picked up(always be near an adult, it limits what they'll do. Never tattle, the adults only really care if they can see it and it'll make things worse for you. Never fight back, you'll get in a lot of trouble if you do). How... good these survival instincts were are up to debate, but they were what I learned growing up.

Most importantly, I learned to escape. To think about being anywhere else. To hide away and try to ignore things, even when I wanted to cry or scream. It's something I still have a lot of trouble doing, and one of the reasons it took me so long to realize I had dysphoria. Easier to hide from the problem than face it, after all.

Sadly, while I can remember being bullied, heck of my child hood that's pretty much all I can remember, I can't remember the exact words they used or things they did, I just remember feeling like prey trapped with predators.

I'd like to thank everyone who has been here and supporting the story so far. This hasn't been an easy time at all, and each comment and well wish has been more supportive than you may know. Also, Twilight will be out of the story for a bit, but when she returns I think the story will take a happier turn. Also, yes, I do have plans that involve her nerdiness. Good thing about therapeutic writing is when you work out the bad stuff, the good stuff remains.

Chapter 5: Fighting back

Drifting looked between them, holding her breath. “So, what's with the dress?” one of them asked.

“I… I bought it...” she said weakly. She supposed that was sorta true. She hugged the bag holding her other dress to her chest, looking at them helplessly as they came closer. “I-I should go.” She wanted to stand, but her legs didn't let her.

“What's the rush? You came all the way down here, why not enjoy the night? So, tell me, tranny, did you cut your dick off? Rumors say you did.” The others were sent into a laughing fit for that one.

“N-no,” she said weakly, the tears welling into her eyes. She prayed to the heavens that they'd stop there. Insults, name calling, she could handle that. If that was all they did, she'd be fine.

“Then why do you keep playing pretend?”

“I… I'm not pretending. I am a mare, I'm—” The first blow hit her in the side of the head, knocking her off the seat and sending her to the ground. The second blow hit her in the chest. She whimpered, collapsing into the fetal position as the blows rained down on her. One swift strike between her legs made her cry out, knocking the wind from her. They were saying things, though she could barely hear them. Telling her to apologize. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” she pleaded, trembling. There were three of them and they were all bigger than her, she held no thoughts of winning this fight. Instead she covered her face with her hooves and tried to protect her lower regions, hoping they'd tire out or get bored before they really hurt her.

She'd been so, so stupid. She was smarter than this. Sneaking out after hours, when there wasn't any staff around. She knew better. She wasn't safe. She deserved this. She--

She heard a tear. "Where'd you get such a fancy dress?" Another tear. Through her hooves she could see one of them had grabbed the edge and started tearing it off. The other had picked up the bag holding the princess dress and let out a low whistle as they pulled it out.

"N-no, stop, stop!" she shrieked and tried to get up, but another blow knocked her right back to the ground.

"You think you're a real mare, prancing around in this?" Another tear.

They were ruining her dresses. The special dresses that miss Rarity had made for her. "Stop!" she screamed, reaching out with her hooves and grabbing the hoof. All she got was another blow to the side of the head, that sent her ears ringing as she fell back to the ground. She laid there, dazed, as the pony tore at it. She felt anger and rage building up in her. How could they? WHY?! I-it wasn't fair. They were bigger than her. Stronger than her. They were...

Not for long. She glared up at them, her horn beginning to glow.

They were bigger. But they wouldn't be for long. Tears clouded her eyes as her horn flashed a brilliant red.

Drifting rocked back and forth, clutching the princess dress to her chest as she kept her eyes lowered to the ground. She was covered in bruises and her right eye was slightly swollen.

Principal Learning just stared across his desk at her, shaking his head. “You know what you did.”

“I'm sorry,” she said softly, not looking up at him.

“You know casting magic like that on other students is forbidden. You could have done some real, serious damage.”

“I'm sorry,” she repeated, rocking back and forth.

“Where did you even learn how to turn a pony into a rabbit? Let alone three of them?”

“I'm sorry,” she said once again.

“Are you even listening to me?”

“Y-yes.”

“Good. Now, normally in this kind of situation you'd be expelled. However...”

“E-expelled?” she squeaked, looking up. “B-but they… they attacked me. I-I was just… I-I was defending myself, I-I was--” He lifted a hoof and she fell silent.

“I said normally. Fortunately, for you, the teacher arrived before you could do any lasting damage. Bad enough you turned them into bunnies, but then punting one of them?”

She knew she shouldn't smile at that, no matter how badly she wanted to. She was in trouble and egging the principal on would not end well for her.

“And the student who fetched the teacher collaborated your story about the three ambushing you.”

“W-wait, there was another student?”

“Yes, she wishes to remain anonymous, though,” he said as he flipped through the papers on his desk. “However, that magic is forbidden to be used in such a way. While the circumstances are… poor, something has to be done. As such, you're being suspended for two weeks. Your parents will be here in the morning to pick you up, they've already been notified.”

Drifting wilted. “T-they're on the way here? Two weeks? T-they're already coming?” she asked, fresh horror going through her. It was late, if they were already coming, that was bad.

“Yes. I talked to your mother personally.” He sighed. “Snowy, you--”

“M-my name's not Snowy,” she said instinctively, before cringing at the glare she got. “S-sorry, sir.”

“Scowy, I can't forbid you from… indulging in your… fetish. But I would strongly suggest that you give up on this little… act of yours. You're doing nothing but causing trouble.”

She nodded slowly. “I'll think about it.” It wasn't a fetish, it wasn't an act and she'd be bucked if she'd let some bullies make her stop. But she'd definitely be bucked if she kept talking back to him. “Can… I go pack?”

“Yes, you may. Do try not to get in any more fights.”

Drifting nodded and got to her hooves, throwing the princess dress over her back and trotting out of the room. She took a slow, deep breath. Once again the halls were filled with ponies and staff, though she wasn't surprised. Practically half the school had been woken up by her little stunt. Within a week everypony would know what she did.

On the up side, she got to her room without being harassed. In fact, some ponies even looked scared of her. That was safer, at least. She moved in front of the mirror and sat down, looking at herself.

She looked horrible, little bruises peeking through her white coat. When her mom got here, she'd be furious. There was only one thing to do. She slowly got out her hoofkerchief and began cleaning up her face and undressing.

The entire time all she could do was mentally kick herself for her stupidity. She knew better. She KNEW not to go out alone like that, where there weren't any teachers. She'd learned that in elementary. Yet here she went, practically serving herself up on a silver platter to them. Why was she so stupid? By the time she was cleaned up and naked, the tears flowed down her face in a steady stream.

Her dresses were torn. Her mother was coming and was going to be furious. Her only option was to play on her pity, making her see how badly she'd gotten beaten up. She rested her head against the mirror.

They were already against all this. What if they tried to take ALL of it away now?

Drifting rocked back and forth on her bed, chewing on her lower lip as she waited in her room, occasionally looking at her bags. She was leaving most of her stuff here, since she really didn't care about it. But all of her dresses and make up were coming home with her. If they decided to do any cleaning while she was gone, she'd be bucked if they thought she'd let them throw those out.

But she'd woken up hours ago, double checked everything was packed a few dozen times and now had no idea what to do. The anxiety was getting to her and there was nothing she could do. If she kept pacing, she was bound to eventually drill a hole in the ground.

Then there was a knock on the door. She froze. “Who… who is it?”

“Hey lil sis, guess who?”

Drifting's heart almost exploded. She raced to the door, pulled it open and stared at the pony on the other side. A white unicorn with a yellow mane. She got hugged so tight. “Sunny!”

The pony chuckled and patted her on the back. “Hey. Hear you got in a bit of trouble?”

“Y-yeah. Is… mom with you?”

“Nope,” the mare said with a shake of her head. “Me and her had a long talk. Convinced her she had to work in the morning anyway, so it was best she let me do it. Told her I had the day off.”

“Did you?”

“No. But you know I've always got time for my lil sis,” the mare said before patting her on the head. “I just called my supervisor and let her know there was a family emergency. So uhhh...” She looked the younger mare up and down. “Is this one of those 'I should have seen the other guy' things?”

“There were three of them...” Drifting said softly, lowering her eyes.

“Right. How are you holding up?”

“How… mad is mom?”

“Furious. Don't worry, I'll be there for you. We've got a few hours until the train leaves back to Fillydelphia, wanna catch a bite?”

“Kinda...”

“Okay.” She then glanced towards the mirror. “Wanna get dressed, first?”

“Yes!”

“I'll wait outside, enjoy.”

Drifting nodded and quickly got to work. Well, it looked like it wouldn't be so bad after all. If her sister was here, that bought her time. At least she wouldn't have to face their mother alone. Sunny was the only one in her family really supportive of her decision, though she still didn't completely understand it and sometimes slipped up, calling her Snowy or lil bro. But she tried, which was more than she could say for most ponies.

She quickly went through her dresses, staring at the tears in the princess and date dress. She finally chose the red one she'd worn the first time she met Rarity. It was the only one that fit her right now. She smiled happily as she put her make up on and put the ribbon in her hair, before looking in the mirror.

Her anxiety and fear began to melt away as she stared at herself. A few of the bruises were still visible, but the make up and dress hid most of them. She felt right, now, dressed like this. Like herself. She gave a soft, content sigh before trotting to the door and pulling it open. “Hey. How do I look?”

Sunny turned back and froze, her eyes widening. “Oh. Wow. You look… wow. When did you learn to do that?”

“It's… a long story.” She grabbed her bags in her magic, pulling them onto her back. “You're never going to guess who I met and spent the other day hanging out with.”

“Who?”

“The new princess,” she said before she started walking down the hall.

“No way! You've got to tell me everything.”

“That's horrible,” Sunny said softly as she chewed on one of her fries. “So the note was just a set up?”

“Yeah,” Drifting muttered. “I have to admit, I didn't even think of that. I should have, though. It's so obvious, I--”

“Oh, don't even start that. You're a pretty mare, Drifting,” Sunny said with a grin. “You look great, you're bound to have stallions, or mares, pounding on your door before long.”

“Yeah, so they can drag me out of it and pound me into the dirt.”

Sunny sighed, before grinning. “So, turned them all into bunnies?”

“Yeah. It was pretty awesome. Even managed to punt one of them.” She cringed. “Was that… too… stalliony?”

“Nah, I'd have done the same thing.”

“How's mom? I mean, has she… changed… much?”

Sunny sighed and shook her head. “Not… really. I don't think she likes any of this. She's putting up with it, but I think she's looking for another one of those camps. I've been trying to talk her out of it, but… well… you know mom.”

Drifting nodded. “Yeah. How's… work?”

“Oh, you know. Work is work. I got a new place, actually. Me and my colt friend moved in together. I think you'll like him.”

“He's… not like the last one, is he?”

“Nope! Doesn't drink or anything.”

Drifting nodded, though she kept her eyes down. She adored her sister, but she always chose the worst ponies to date. “So, is he going to be the one?”

“Maybe, he's amazing. Kind, charming, sweet. Honest, too.”

It didn't help that she always seemed to fall head over hooves fast, then fall out of love just as quickly. “How long you two been dating?”

“Two months, why?”

“Just curious. What happened to uhhh… Sorewing?”

“Soaringwing. She just… wasn't my type. I think she just wanted someone to help raise her kids. It was a massive pain in the flank, every time they'd get out of control she'd just let it slide or cave to their demands, then I'd have to step in. I swear the only reason she wanted to date me was so I could help pay for things and could be the bad guy.”

Drifting nodded and took another nibble of her fry, listening to her sister rant, a grin on her lips. Once she stopped for breath, Drifting cut in. “How long will you be around?”

“I… won't be the full two weeks. I'm sorry, I just can't miss that many days of work. But I'll come by after work for a bit each day, I swear. And we can spend some time during the weekend. We can swing by my place on the way too, okay? So you can prepare?”

“Thank you,” Drifting mumbled. “Three more years. Just three more years and I'm out.”

“It'll be okay, Drifting. Mom'll come around. Dad… well, dad's dad. He'll at least pretend he doesn't care.”

“Maybe...” Drifting mumbled.

“Come on, don't be like that. You met a princess, remember? That's pretty awesome. And it sounds like she owes you big. Or at least, feels she does. And those new dresses of yours look amazing. A Rarity original isn't cheap. If I liked dresses, I'd be jealous.”

“Y-yeah. I've… I've got to take them back to the boutique and get them fixed.”

“Do you wanna stop there now?”

“N-no. I… I wanna wait. She just finished them yesterday. I don't want her thinking I didn't love them. When… I come back, I'll do it.”

“Okay, if you're sure.”

Drifting took a slow, deep breath before smiling. “So… ummm… do I pass?”

Sunny sighed. “Drifting, you don't need to worry so much about that.”

“I… I know I shouldn't… I just...”

“Yes, you do. But you need to stop worrying what other ponies think.”

“I know, it's just… hard.”

“You look fine. Don't care if other ponies care. Just relax.”

“Okay,” Drifting muttered as he looked over at his sister. She wasn't wearing anything. But then, she didn't have to in order to feel feminine. She wasn't like… her. Her femininity was natural. Even when she acted masculine, ponies didn't automatically assume she was a guy.

“Sis? Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just… thinking. Sorry...”

“Come on, we'd best go get to the station. Don't worry, sis. I'll be with you the whole time. We'll deal with mom together.”

Drifting smiled and gave a nod. At least she wouldn't have to be alone for this.

“Can I just hide here for the two weeks?” Drifting asked the moment they stepped into the small two bedroom apartment of Sunny's. The trip had been slow, but uneventful. She'd been able to wear her dress and stay all prettied up, but she had been dreading this part. Now she had to take it all off. She looked at herself in the mirror, only a few hairs out of place.

“I wish, but you know mom wouldn't let that happen,” Sunny said with a shake of her head. “Come on, it'll be fine. I'll be with you the whole time.”

“Do… you think I can go… like this?” She cocked her head to the side and smiled at her reflection. “Do you think mom'll...”

“Yes,” Sunny said firmly.

“R-really?”

“Of course,” the elder mare said before walking up to her and patting her back. “This is who you are, Drifting. Mom has to learn to accept it. To accept you. Besides, you'll always be her little baby no matter what.” She gave her a hug. “So… if you want to do that, I'll be there the whole time.”

Drifting looked in the mirror. She felt a little confidence surge inside her. She looked like a mare, a real mare, now. This would be it. This would work. She gave a slow nod. “Lets. Please. I… have to do this eventually, right? Now's as… good a time as any.”

“Snowy, wipe that gunk off your face this instant and get out of those ridiculous clothes,” her mother said the moment she opened the door. The unicorn shared the family's white coat, though her mane was a soft green.

“Mom, I--” Drifting said quickly, but lowered her eyes as the other mare just glared.

“Bathroom. Now,” she said, pointing a hoof down the hall.

Drifting sighed and stepped inside, keeping her head lowered.

“Why are you encouraging this behavior? Is this why you wanted to go pick him up?” his mother asked his sister.

“So you wouldn't flip out on her the moment you saw her? Yeah, it was. A shame it didn't stop you.”

“Him,” she said coldly.

“Did that look like a him to you?”

“A stallion in drag does not make a mare,” she said back, her voice rising.

Drifting made her way to the bathroom, quickly peeling off the dress and folding it up before putting it in the bag. She could hear the two fighting down the hall, again. She'd have felt bad about causing a fight, but those two always fought about something. At least this time it was about something she felt important. She pulled the ribbon out of her hair and let her mane flow freely, before wiping the make up off and looking in the mirror.

Just like that, she was Snowy again. The awkward little stallion who nopony really liked. Stupid, neurotic, annoying. Not good with other ponies at all. A stallion nopony wanted, not even him. He rested his head against the mirror and tried not to cry, even though he wanted to.

After all, stallions didn't cry.

Snowy nudged the lasagna around on his plate, the pre-cooked glob not looking appetizing at all. He couldn't imagine why somepony would put that nasty white cheese on it anyway.

“Snowy, honey? You should eat,” his mother said.

“Not really hungry. Can I be excused? I just… want to sleep.”

“If you think you're going to spend your suspension just sleeping around the house, you've got another thing coming,” she snapped. “You're in big trouble, young man.”

“For what, defending herself?” Sunny asked with annoyance. “They picked a fight, they got what they deserved.”

“If he wouldn't dress in such a way, then there wouldn't have been any fight at all.”

“It's not his fault he's like this!”

“Well it's certainly not mine! Snowy, you're a smart kid, if you'd just stop acting so stupid and dressing up, you could have a bright future ahead of you.”

“There you go again, calling us stupid,” Sunny said with a glare.

“I'm not calling him stupid, I'm saying he's acting stupid, and he is. He needs to give up on this little perversion of his, it's not natural.”

“It's who he is, if you'd just try to understand it--”

“There's nothing to understand. Stallions are stallions and mares are mares! Putting on a bit of make up won't change anything!”

Snowy sighed as the screaming match started. He wished he could say something, but nothing he said ever made any difference. All it did was get him in more and more trouble. He nudged the food around and glanced to his dad.

The other stallion barely seemed to be paying attention, just eating his meal. It was the closest thing Snowy got to support from his parents. If his dad minded, he didn't make any real mention of it. Granted, since he'd come out, they'd barely said two words to each other. Then again, before he'd come out they had hardly talked either.

“I swear, your mother,” Sunny said, glancing to Snowy.

“I'm not claiming her,” Snowy said instinctively, before glancing across the table at the angry mare.

“Snowy, you need to stop acting out.” She put a hoof to her head. “Maybe this was a mistake, sending you to that school. It was better when you were here, being our boy. Maybe--”

Alarms went off in Snowy's head. “B-but my grades are up! They're good! Y-you promised if I kept them up, I could do what I want!”

“Yes, but you never got suspended when you were living here. Before all of… this.”

“She was also failing half her classes,” Sunny snapped. “She's in Celestia's school! You couldn't ask for a better place for her to be, so what if she's a mare now? You should be happy she's doing so well.”

“But she's not doing well, she's suspended!”

“Because a few other ponies couldn't keep their hooves to themselves.”

Snowy lowered his eyes as, once again, the shouting match began. He wished he could have been anywhere else. Maybe he was lucky and this was all just a nightmare and those stallions had put him in a coma. That bought a bitter smile to his face. His mom probably wouldn't yell at a coma patient.

Snowy laid in bed, staring at the roof. His room was just the way he'd left it, cluttered. So much junk he didn't even care about. Books, games, a bed. The only thing added were a ton of pictures his mom had put throughout the room. Pictures of a younger him, with his stupid blue mane. He hated blue hair, it was why he dyed his red. Blue was a stupid color for a mare, it made him look like a stallion.

He curled up into a little ball, pulling the blanket closer to himself. He slowly looked across the room at his bags. His horn glowed and he slowly drew out the princess dress, gliding it over to himself and hugging it tightly to his chest.

He was a mare. He was was he was he was he was he was…

Author's Note

Really not sure if I should have given the bullies or the mom names. I kinda feel it works better as a representative here, them without them? But I don't know. Bleh.

Also, Sunny is one of my favorites. Obviously a representative of my own sister, who I don't think any of this would have been possible without. :) I... really hope every trans person has their own Sunny, that one person who supports them and will have their back, even when things get bad. Even if they're not always there, just knowing someone cares enough to try can make a world of difference.

Also, the 'Your mother' thing is a joke me and my sis do allll the time whenever our mom does something super ignorant or just... we can't believe she'd actually do. Had to put that in.

Chapter 6: What will you give up?

Snowy stared at the ground, his eyes focused on the little specks of dirt there. His mother was sitting in the chair next to him, the two waiting patiently for him to be called back.

Well, his mother was waiting patiently. Snowy had a big orb of anxiety in the pit of his stomach. He'd been dreading and hoping this wouldn't come to pass, but once again it did. How they'd gotten an appointment so quickly, he'd never know. But here he was.

Therapy. With Dr. Toughlove.

The door opened. “Snowy Skies? The doctor will see you now.”

He groaned and momentarily considered fleeing the scene. It was no use, though. He knew that. He hung his head and made his way back to the room, each step feeling as if he was walking closer to the gallows.

It wasn't that he hated therapy, in fact he'd had quite a few delightful therapists over the years. Some of which, without, he would have probably given up on being happy. The problem was, the moment they started to support Snowy's behavior, a new one was found. Toughlove had been suggested by a friend of his mom. He didn't know which one, but he despised her and he despised Toughlove.

The mare was sitting behind her desk in a small, cramped room. Snowy sat down in the chair opposite her. It had a weird, plastic coating that always stuck to his coat and made him fidget with discomfort, especially when it got too hot and he had to move around to try to avoid the heat pocket.

Toughlove hummed a little as she looked down, her off gray coat mixing with the same colored walls, her black mane tied into a tight bun. “So, Snowy. It has been a few months since our last session.”

“Yes,” the stallion said softly.

“Your mother has kept in contact with me, however. Informed me of their... decision to humor your mental disorder.”

He merely nodded.

“I always told you that you were a smart child, all you needed to do was apply yourself. Your grades are proof of that.”

He kept nodding, he knew what was coming.

“You just need to stop holding yourself back with your little fetish.”

“It's not a... fetish. I am a mare,” he said softly.

“Snowy, you're not a mare. I'm a mare. Your mother is a mare. Your sister is a mare. You are a very confused stallion who requires medical aid. Your case is not the first of its kind, and it's not the last. You just need to stop fighting us and let us help you.”

“I... I am a mare,” he said softly.

“Really?” Toughlove said with a cocked eye before pulling out a small letter. “Suspended from school for fighting? That doesn't sound like a very mare-like quality.”

“I... I was defending myself.”

“A mare wouldn't have fought, she would have used her words to escape the situation, or fled. She wouldn't have tried to fight them. That is what stallions do.”

He kept his eyes lowered, but didn't speak up.

“Snowy, you could have a bright future ahead of yourself, but you need to abandon this pretext. All you're doing is hurting yourself with your delusions. You are a stallion. That is basic anatomy. No pony can look at you and possibly think you're a mare, no matter how much you try to trick them.”

He closed his eyes. “I... I am. I've gotten better, I-I've learned how to put my make up on and... and my voice is getting better, and I--”

“And how many fights have you been in? Think back to your school, are you really happy there, flaunting around this sickness?”

He nodded slowly. “Yes. I am. I'm more myself than I've ever been.”

“Snowy. You need to stop fighting this. I'm on your side, truly. I don't want to hurt you, but this is what you need to hear. You are not a mare. You will never be a mare. You are a stallion. A confused one, but a stallion. If you tried, you could be a cute one and if you really wanted to, perhaps find a nice mare friend.” She paused for a moment. “If your desires to be a mare are just because of that, I assure you as a stallion you have a far higher chance.”

“I don't want a mare friend! I want to be a... I am a mare,” he said, looking away from her.

Toughlove sighed and put a hoof to her head. “Snowy. Please. We want to help. All you're doing is hurting yourself and your family. Is this really what you want to do?”

“I'm just being me...”

“You're embracing a mental disease and forcing it on everypony around you.”

“A-all I want is to be treated like a mare...”

“You're not a mare and you cannot be treated like one. If anything, it would be too dangerous. You've already shown a tendency towards violence, do you really think other ponies would want you near mares for that?”

He slowly shook his head.

“Exactly. And think about your future. In a few years you'll be out of school, what then?”

“I'll find a new job and a new home.”

“Really? How? No pony is going to want a stallion who can't act responsible in the work environment. For ponies like you, there isn't a good future. Or do you plan on having your parents carry you through life?”

He shook his head. “I'll deal with that when it comes.”

“Snowy, look at yourself. You're miserable, aren't you? This is no way to live your life. You need to let go of these fantasies.”

He didn't answer.

“You're in a very prestigious school now. If you cut your mane, stopped wearing those silly outfits and presented yourself appropriately, you could have a real future ahead of yourself. You could be somepony. If you'd just decide to stop being this way and--”

“It's not a decision!” he shrieked. “I am a mare! I am! Why can't you just... why can't you just see?”

Toughlove sighed and shook her head. “No, Snowy, you're not. I wouldn't tell a pony who was blind they could see, I wouldn't tell a pony with severe schizophrenia that they don't need help and I won't lie to you and indulge your mental illness. You need help and the sooner you stop fighting it, the sooner we can work on curing you. Now, are you willing to let me help you?”

He looked away, closing his eyes. “I hate you.”

“Yes, we often hate the ones who try to help us, but that doesn't mean we'll let you suffer for it.”

He didn't answer, keeping his eyes off her.

“Now, Snowy. Tell me about your school.”

He didn't answer as she sat there, lightly tapping her hoof.

“Snowy?”

He just sat there.

The mare sighed. “Are you going to just give me the silent treatment?”

He nodded.

“It's worse than I thought. Snowy, you're dismissed. You can go wait in the lobby.”

The stallion blinked and couldn't believe his good fortune. He galloped away, slamming the door closed behind himself as he ran. He was out, he was free. “I'm done!” he told his mother as he stepped out of the room.

“Already?” she asked, staring at him. “That was fast.”

“Miss Skies?” a voice said suddenly, making him jump. He looked back to one of the nurses. “Dr. Toughlove would like to speak with you a moment.”

Snowy blinked, watching her go. A slow feeling of dread spread through his stomach. He moved to the seats, sitting down and watching the room. His mother came out after about ten minutes. “What did you two talk about?”

“Nothing, it's... nothing, honey,” his mother said softly. “Just... let's go home.” Her eyes were lowered and she looked confused.

“Mom?”

She shook her head. “Don't worry about it, Snowy. It's going to be okay. You're going to be okay.”

“Mommy?” he asked softly, the dread forming a knot. She didn't answer this time as he trotted behind her.

Something was wrong. He felt it all the way down to his hooves.

The rest of the day went quietly, without many problems for once. Yet Snowy wished there had been. Sunny came by for dinner and for once there weren't many fights. Their mother seemed to barely be paying attention at all, nudging at her plate in much the same way Snowy liked to. He hoped that Toughlove told her there was no cure, that just letting him be who he was would be enough. To just let him be happy.

He found that doubtful. No matter how he poked or pried, she refused to tell him anything, even his sister couldn't get a rise out of her. His stomach felt more and more twisted with each moment. When it was finally time to go to bed, he tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable as he laid there, staring at the darkness.

Then he heard the creak of his door opening. He froze and looked over. His mother slowly stepped into his room. “Mom?” he asked softly.

“Snowy?” she said, sounding alarmed. “You're awake?”

“Can't sleep. What's wrong? What are you doing?”

The mare blinked, before trotting over and sitting by him. “Honey... you know your father and I love you, right? I know your father doesn't always show it, but you're our baby boy.”

“Uh huh,” he said nervously.

“We just want you to be happy and healthy.”

“I am when you let me be me...”

“Snowy...”

“I'm Drifting.”

“Snowy, this isn't normal. Normal ponies aren't like this. You can't keep doing these things, you're just ruining your future and hurting yourself. Nopony wants that.”

He sighed and lowered his eyes. “It's... my life, why can't I decide what I do?”

“I'm your mother, it's my job to look out for you.”

“Mmm hmm...” he grumbled softly.

She sighed, before reaching out to hug him. “Honey, I love you. I'll always love you, you're my little baby boy. But... I just want you to be happy and safe. That's all.”

“I know, mom,” he said softly, slowly hugging her back. “I... love you too. Even if I don't always show it.”

She hugged him for a few more moments, before slowly pulling back. “I talked with Toughlove. She won't have any more appointments available before you go back.”

“You're letting me go back?”

“Of course.” She stopped for a moment. “You'll do fine there, honey.”

He sighed and laid back, closing his eyes as he heard the door close. At least she wasn't going to go back on their deal, that was a load off his mind. He pulled the blanket over himself, nestling into bed.

Even better, he wouldn't have to see Toughlove again until next time he came back home.

Snowy blinked blearily as he slowly opened his eyes. He looked around in confusion, staring around the dark room. What in the world? Why had he woken up?

He heard a low metallic thump and frowned, glancing towards the door. What in the world were his parents do--

His groggy mind finally caught something important. He had been sleeping with the princess dress besides him. It wasn't there now. His horn glowed and he scanned wildly around the room.

All of his dresses were gone. His make up, too. All of his bags. He tossed off the covers and raced through the house, his heart pounding.

His mom was in the living room, stoking some logs in the fire place. The fire was only starting and she didn't seem to hear him over the nudging of the flames.

The dresses were in their bag besides her. Snowy couldn't see the make up. “What are you doing?!” he asked, staring at the dresses.

His mother froze, turning around and staring at him. She then sighed, her horn glowing as she picked up the bag. “Snowy, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, but this has to be done. Toughlove talked with me, and she's right. Letting you do this was a bad idea. It's... just made your condition worse. I want my baby boy back, honey. And... this is the only way to do it.”

“M-mom,” he said softly, staring at them. He was too frightened to move as his mother held them besides the fire. Could he even save any of them in time if she tossed them in? “Please. D-don't do this.”

“I'm sorry. I know you'll hate me for a little bit, but it has to be done.” She moved them closer. “Just go back to your room and sleep. It's over, honey, no more of... this.”

He watched helplessly as they got closer to the fire, until the words burst out. “I'll never stop hating you!” Snowy screamed. He was terrified, but he felt a brand new emotion break through his wall of apathy. Anger. The words stunned his mother, making her freeze in place. “If... if you... if you do t-this to me, I-I'll never stop hating you. I swear. I'll... I'll run away, o-or escape, or... y-you'll never see me again. I'll never be a part of your life again.” For the first time since she'd taken off her make up and dresses, she felt tears welling up in her eyes. “I swear. If you... if you do this to me, you'll never be anything to me again. I won't be your... anything.”

“Snowy, you don't--”

“IT'S DRIFTING!” she screamed, stomping her hoof down. “And if you can't accept that, then I... then I don't need you as my mother! I'll do this all alone if I have to! I'LL DO IT ALL ALONE! I'M A MARE AND I DON'T NEED YOU IF YOU DON'T WANT ME!” The tears flowed down her face as the words tore their way out of her throat. Each one felt like a barbed wire through her heart, but she believed them. She didn't want to lose her mother, but if she had to, she'd give her up. So long as she could be herself.

Slowly, gently the bag began to lower. “Snowy... You don't...”

Her grip on the bag faltered and Drifting's horn lit up, yanking the bag from her and pulling it to the younger mare. She pulled it close, holding it close and sobbing.

His mother slowly moved over to her side, reaching out to touch her shoulder. “Snowy, I don't--”

“DON'T TOUCH ME!” Drifting screamed, before tearing away and racing down the hall, slamming the door shut behind herself. She collapsed on the ground, her body against the door, and began to sob, hugging her dresses to her chest. They were her dresses. They were hers.

And she was Drifting, no matter what anypony said.

Drifting awoke with a groan, her back aching. She slowly leaned forward, pulling away from the door. She then looked down at her dresses, safe and sound in her hooves. Slowly she put them aside and opened her door, just a crack.

Outside of the door, her make up and other necessities were sitting, waiting to be picked up. She opened the door a little more, her horn glowing as she brought them in. They weren't in a bag anymore, but she didn't care. She slowly went through each and every one, making sure they were all present.

They were. She let out a sigh of relief and slowly got to her hooves, grabbing her supplies and making her way across the hall to the bathroom, opening the door and stepping inside. She took a look at herself in the mirror before steeling herself. She'd already stepped over the line, there was no turning back. She locked the door and slipped into the shower.

When the door opened again, Drifting stood in it, in her special red gemmed dress. Her ribbon was returned and her make up was on. She made her way down the hall towards the living room.

The log in the fireplace still smoked, but the fire was long gone. Her mother was sitting on the couch, though she looked up the moment Drifting entered the room. “Snowy...”

She didn't stop, she turned and made her way towards the door.

“Drifting!”

That gave the mare pause. It was the first time she'd ever been called by her name.

“Please, come back. I'm... sorry. I really, truly am. I'm sorry and I swear I won't do it again. I won't... destroy your things. If you want to... be this, it's okay.”

Slowly Drifting backed up and made her way towards the couch. “Mom?”

“All I want, all I ever wanted is for you and your sister to be happy. That's all.” She patted the seat by her. “You're my little baby boy. You're just so... smart and could have such a great future ahead of yourself. I don't want you to throw it away over... this.”

“This is who I am,” Drifting said softly as she sat down by her. “And... I have to be me. Even if it's without you.” She let out a yipe as her mother leaned forward and hugged her. Slowly, she reached up and hugged her back.

“All... I want is for you to be happy. Even if... I don't understand, I don't agree, I'll always be your mother. If this is who you have to be to be happy, then I won't stop it.”

“Really?”

“Really. Just... promise me you'll be careful? You'll be safe? And... try to be happy?”

“I... I am, mommy,” she said softly, before hugging her back, tightly before breaking down into sobs against her chest. She didn't even care that it made her make up run.

No matter how much she hated it, she'd been ready to lose her parents.

She was just thankful her mother wasn't ready to lose her child.

Author's Note

This was where the story was originally going to end. Not because it would end, end here, but because this was just too painful to write. It really made me realize how many issues I still had with my mother, how much pain she had caused me, how scared I was of telling them because of all the harsh words she'd said over the years. I thought I was over it, I really, really wasn't. I don't think I am yet, honestly.

But I've also found new strength. Its given me perspective, made me realize how strong I actually am. When I started this transition, I didn't know what would happen. It was very possible I'd lose everything. My family, friends, job. It would have been so, so easy to just ignore it. To just revel in my misery and ignore my happiness just to keep from rocking the boat. It would have been safer, so much safer. But I took that plunge.

When it happened, I thought my parents were going to abandon me. I was prepared to lose them. Heck, if I had come out earlier in life, I might have. They almost lost my sister because of something like this. But I was lucky, I didn't. But the fact I was willing to showed me that I do have strength. And more importantly, I can face things if I have to. And I think that's the kind of woman I want to become. One who faces her problems, who doesn't give up her happiness out of fear of what others will think. I don't know how much more I'm willing to risk for it, but I do know almost all of the best things in my life have come from me taking these risks and I'm done hiding away.

I've since talked to my mother and worked out a lot of things, there's still a lot more but I think there's going to be improvements. I can't regain the time lost, but I can make sure that the future isn't wasted.

But, as one last thing. I'd just like to say something to everyone. I was lucky. I hate to say it, but this is not an easy path. Far too many people lose far more than I did when they do this. I've spoken with plenty who lost just about everything when they came out. I can't say if it's worth it or not, but it does take bravery. Sitting down is always easier than standing up, so never think you're not brave for taking this plunge. I'm sorry it's not a cheerful message, but I hope it's one most of you can understand and identify with and, more importantly, have had as much luck as I with.

The story will continue, at least slowly. The pain is ebbing away and I still have more I want to do with Drifting. I think this therapy is really, really helping.

As a bit of a bonus things. When it came time to the transition for those of it who are taking that plunge, what were you willing to lose to be happy?

Chapter 7: New changes

Drifting nibbled her eggs, her eyes lowered as she sat across from her mother. They'd both had a good, long cry and she now felt so drained she didn't want to do anything. Her mother's words still echoed in her head and she hoped her mom would keep them.

Her mom had made up some breakfast, though Drifting could only eat it slowly as she waited for the hammer to fall.

“So...” her mother said.

Drifting froze, her breath stopping as she waited for what she'd say.

“I'd... like you to keep going to therapy, once you get back to Canterlot.”

“Not with anypony Toughlove recommends.”

The elder mare nodded. “That's... perfectly understandable. I will see about finding--”

“I want... I want to choose who does it.”

“You? But you need help, and--” The glare Drifting gave made the mare go silent. She finally sighed. “Fine. I... suppose but... dear, are you sure it's not just because you're single? I can understand the desire to have a mare in your life, but there's no need for you to be that mare. You're a cute, wonderful little stallion and--”

“Mom, I'm a mare!” she screamed, glowering at her. “I thought you said you would... support this?”

“Fine, fine,” she mumbled. After a few minutes she glanced up. “Are you sure you're not gay? Because plenty of stallions are into that these days, you don't need to be a mare to--”

“Mom. This has nothing to do with who I... feel attracted to,” she said, her face bright red. “B-besides, I might... ugh.” She double face hoofed. “I just... mom, I just want to be me. This is who I am.”

“Fine, fine, no more questions about it. You're a mare, okay?” she said with a small smile. “Honey? How... ummm, has school been?”

“Good,” she said softly. “My grades are doing well. Really. I've made a few... well, I haven't made any friends, honestly. But I'm happy. I...” She then blinked. “I... met one of the princesses the other day. Princess Twilight.”

There was a clatter as her mother dropped her fork. “You... met the princess? As tha-- err... as... you?”

“As Drifting? Yes. And she was very accepting. I-in fact, she knew a lot about the subject a-and said it was completely natural. She even bought me some dresses. A few. I mean, since her friend owns the Canterlot Boutique, she got me some dresses from there.” She felt a little guilty lying, but she was sure the princess probably knew a little about it by now. After all, she'd tried to make it up after what happened. She doubted the mare knew much by now, though. It'd only been a few weeks.

“I... I see,” her mother said, her eyes wide as she seemed to be struggling to process this information. “So... the princess? Knows?”

“Yes, she knows. And she's okay with it. I ummm... I think she's really awesome. And she has the coolest friends.” Her eyes lit up. “Miss Rarity is just the prettiest pony in the world and she's so cool and awesome. Every word and movement is like silk, she's so refined and smart and lady like and oh my gosh I want her voice soooo bad and she gave me a hair cut and just look at how good she did and she taught me how to put my make up on and fixed my dress so it fit and--”

“She taught you how to put your make up on?”

Drifting sighed. Leave it to her mom to miss everything else. “Yes, she did.”

The elder mare nudged her plate a bit. “It looks... nice. You... did a good job. What, errr, brand?”

“Crystal coat,” Drifting said softly. “I'll need to save up my bits for a while to buy more, but I think I can do it right, now. I don't have to practice any more and I can make myself look so pretty and I actually had ponies staring at me and not in the 'wait, is that a colt' way but in the 'ohhhh, she's hot' way! I was actually being checked out and I got a love letter and...” She paused, frowning softly. The love letter had all been a set up, she couldn't believe she'd fallen for such a thing. “And I'm... really happier than I've ever been, mom. I just wish you could... accept that.”

The other mare took a deep breath, before smiling. “Of... course I can. If this makes you happy, if this is really what you want, I'm fine with it. But you know it won't be easy. Other ponies won't--”

“I know there are ponies who won't accept it, but buck them!” Drifting said, before looking up at her. “I don't need any of them. I don't... need anypony, if that's what it takes for me to be able to be me.”

The elder mare got up and quickly walked around the table, giving her another hug. “Dear, my little Sno... my little Drifting. If... this is what you want, if this is what makes you happy, fine. I'll support you. I... don't understand it and I don't think I'll ever really... like it. But you're my little baby bo... girl. And I will always be there for you when you need me. I promise.”

Drifting laid her head against her. “Really, mommy?”

“Of course, honey. So... you... still have almost two weeks until you have to go back to school, how about we go out and have a little fun? Just us... girls?”

Drifting blinked a few times. “You're okay being seen with me?”

“If you're okay being seen with your mother, sure.”

The younger mare cringed. “That is true, being seen with my mother will kind of make me an out cast...” she said with a smile. “But... I think I'll get by.”

“Err... do you want me to... help you with your make up?”

“No!” Drifting said quickly, before pausing. She then looked up at her mother, then lowered her eyes. “You... promise... to actually fix it? Not try to take it away, or trash it, or... change it?”

Her mother nodded. “I promise.”

“Then... then just this once. One time,” she said softly. She watched as her mother walked towards the bathroom.

More than anything, she hoped. She knew she shouldn't trust her, that her mother would probably, possibly, do something bad. Maybe try to make her look like a stallion.

But no matter what she said, she knew she wanted to give her another chance. She could still feel those wounds in her heart, raw and bloody, angry at the pain they'd suffered. But she wanted them healed. More than anything, she didn't want to have to keep fighting her on this.

So, nervously, she followed her mother into the bathroom. She sat down by the counter, eying her mother suspiciously as she got out a few small tools and a washrag. “Do... you want me to use your things, or mine?” her mother asked nervously.

Drifting looked back just as nervously. “I'll... get mine.” She quickly trotted out the door, took a slow, deep breath, retrieved her things and then came back. She placed them nervously on the counter. “It... shouldn't be that bad. I didn't cry that bad.” She knew that was a lie, but she stuck by it.

“I know, dear, I know. You're very han... pretty.” Her mother's horn glowed as she began picking things up and began adjusting her make up.

“Mom... what did... Toughlove say? To make you do that?”

Her mother took a slow, deep breath. “A... lot of things. That I needed to stop this foalishness now if I ever wanted to have my son back. Getting rid of the clothes and make up was first, then she suggested I cut your mane and tail. Possibly while you slept.”

Drifting choked, her eyes going wide.

“Careful! I don't want to jab you in the eye,” her mom snapped.

“You... you wouldn't... w-would you?”

“...”

“Mom...”

“I won't, I promise.”

“I wasn't... lying. If you... if you can't... accept me just... let me go then. Please. I'll be happier being me without y--” She froze as the hooves wrapped around her.

“You are my little baby... my little baby. No matter what you decide to be, you always will be. And you will never, ever have to be without your mother. I promise.”

“Mom...”

“You don't have to make that choice, Sno... Drifting. I'll... try. I'll take my little baby girl, okay?”

Drifting nodded, sniffling a little as her eyes started to water. “I-I just... just finished c-crying...”

“Y-yeah, me too... I guess you... g-get it from me.”

“So... you won't... do that?”

“I promise. I won't hurt you like that.” She slowly adjusted her make up, looking over her face. “You are a... really pretty girl, Drifting. I can see why you want to be this.” She took a slow, deep breath. “Are... you getting by okay in school? Any troubles?”

“I'm doing fine, mom. Aside from that one fight, I haven't had any others,” she lied. She'd been in a few minor ones, but as long as she stayed near the teachers, her 'fights' tended to just be a few harsh words, shoves or light kicks to the shins. Nothing to write home about.

“Okay. As long as you're happy.”

“I am happy. Mom, I'm very, very happy. As long as I can be me.”

“Of course.”

“And... if... you can support me in... being me. It'll make it easier...”

“Of... of course. You're my little baby.”

She smiled up at her mom, giving a small smile.

The two weeks passed swiftly, to her surprise and delight. Despite her expectations, her mother hadn't tried to do anything to her dresses, hair or make up. In fact, they'd gone out and her mother had even bought her some more make up and accessories. Even let her get her ears pierced, something she really hadn't expected. Two small little rubies were now imparted on her ears, small and cute, though she doubted most could even notice them. But they made her feel pretty and more like herself.

She'd been smart, of course. Left booby traps besides her door whenever she went to bed, but her mom didn't try to sneak in, didn't try to do anything. She could barely believe it, but she felt her mom was really beginning to accept her. To love who she was.

For the first time in years, as she said good bye to her mother from the train station, she felt actual sadness at saying good bye, instead of relief of leaving her.

Drifting took a slow, deep breath as she trotted into the school grounds. Barely any ponies noticed her, or if they did, they didn't show it. She slowly trotted towards the principal's office, eyes wandering around. She didn't see any sign of the ponies who had beat her up(and gotten punted, she would never stop being proud of that), so she wondered if they had yet to arrive.

However, after she knocked on the door and stepped into the principal's office, she felt the small edge of dread flow through her. Principal Learning looked annoyed as he glowered at her. “Ah. Drifting. I was wondering when you'd return.”

“M-my suspension ended today, right? I'm not still in trouble, am I?”

“Oh, no, you're in the exact opposite of trouble,” he grumbled as he put a hoof to his forehead. “I would like to... congratulate you.”

“Err... sorry?”

“You are familiar with our esteemed new princess, are you not? A miss Twilight Sparkle?”

Alarm bells went off in Drifting's mind, but all she did was give a little squeak and a nod. “Y-yes.”

“Ah, good. Are you also familiar she was once a student here, in fact she was one of our best? Possibly one of the greatest minds Equestria has ever known?”

“N-no, I wasn't...” she said softly.

“Ah. Well, I'd like to congratulate you. Apparently you've sent all kinds of delightful ideas off in her head.”

“I-I don't wanna get electrocuted!” Drifting shrieked, her hooves coming up to her head.

The principal just stared at her, before shaking his head. “No. Let me make one thing clear, child. We've been willing to... humor your little... perversion. If you wish to go by a different name and wear dresses, fine. We allow ponies to express themselves however they wish. But if you think we're ever going to let a stallion live in the mare dormitories, you're in your own little fantasy world.”

“W-what?” Drifting asked softly.

He then dropped a stack of papers, as thick as a dictionary, onto the desk. “Along with the other... ten thousand or so 'improvements' and 'suggestions' the princess has offered us.”

“W-what?”

“I don't know what you've been telling the princess, Drifting, but you're on thin ice. We are one of the greatest schools in all of Equestria. I will not have this school turn into some kind of... fun house for you ponies to walk around in your stupid getups and make a mockery of all we stand for. Do I make myself clear?”

“Y-yes sir, sorry sir. Won't happen again, sir,” Drifting said quickly. She really wished she had any idea at all what was being asked of her.

“Good. Now, a compromise has been made with the princess about your... lodging situation. She has agreed to give you her old room in the castle, to avoid the... so you can...” The stallion sighed and flipped open the report. “'So you can feel safe and secure without having your... dysphoria put on display for others.' How you managed to convince the princess that any of this is credible I'll never understand. I should have nipped this in the flank the moment you signed up for our school...”

“Sorry sir, I never meant to cause any trouble...”

The principal's glare told her clearly that he didn't believe her. “Of course you didn't. Now, the princess will be here to meet you in a few hours. If you'll go and make yourself scarce and try not to cause any more problems, that'd be wonderful.”

“W-wait, she's coming here? Why?”

“I told you. You're getting a new room. She'll meet you in the library,” he said before giving another sigh and rubbing his forehead.

“Thank you sir. I'll try not to cause any more problems.”

“Of course you will,” he said before looking back at the stacks of paper. “Single spaced, double sided... how does she find the time?”

Drifting chewed on her lip as she made her way slowly through the school. She felt like she was in trouble, but it didn't sound like she was in trouble. She wished she had any idea what it was the princess was actually after. She wanted to say it was a trap, but this was one of the princesses. More importantly, she had been... well, she'd tried to be nice. Even after she'd been tossed out of her room.

Her friend had been really nice too. Drifting sighed when she made it to the library, placing her bags on the table and just sitting there, so confused she felt the world was spinning. Why would the princess want to meet with her of all ponies? She wasn't important. Buck, after she'd left a few weeks ago, she imagined she'd never see her again. But here she was, meeting with the princess again and being--

Offered a room at the castle. The little color that her face held faded. A room at the castle, of all places. With the princess. She'd never even been IN the castle! Not that she hadn't had the opportunity. The school itself was just a gentle trot away and student's were allowed to visit many of the facilities at any time. But that required her to show her ID, which was unfortunately marked with a big S on gender. She didn't want to imagine how the guards would react to that.

What if she was in real trouble? What if the princess was going to tell her she had to be a guy now? What if this was all some kind of mass mind wiping thing? Her mother HAD been very nice. What if Toughlove was in on it? What if she was being imprisoned? A room in the castle! A cell was a room!

She buried her head in her hooves, horrible thought after horrible thought filling her mind as she imagined the great torments that awaited her. What if Twilight thought she had a CURE? She didn't want to be cured! She wanted to be a mare! She hated being a stallion!

“Drifting?” a voice said, making the mare shriek and turn around. She covered her hooves with her face the moment she saw the alicorn.

“Please don't torture me or imprison me or banish me or try to electro-shock me or a-anything like that!”

Twilight blinked a few times. “I'm... sorry?”

“Wow, she's as neurotic as you,” a small purple dragon said as he chewed on a small green gem.

“Spike, that's mean. Drifting, would you come with me?”

“I-I'm not in... in trouble, am I?”

“Of course not!” Twilight said with a grin. “Oh, hold on. This'll be faster.” Her horn glowed and the three of them, as well as her bags, disappeared in a purple bubble. A moment later they appeared in a large room with a big purple bed, a single desk and dozens of book cases, filled to the brim with all manner of books. “Here, my old room in the castle.”

Drifting looked around fearfully. “W-we're in the castle? How did you teleport all of us so... oh. Right. Princess. I guess your magic must be really... strong.”

“I've practiced that spell a lot,” Twilight said with a small chuckle. “Practice makes perfect. Now, Drifting, I wanted to talk with you.” Her horn glowed and a bunch of books popped into the air around her. “I haven't had much time, sadly. Princess duties and I had to spend a week solving a friendship problem near the Badlands, but whenever I had a spare moment I looked into your problem.”

“Err... my... problem?”

“Oh yes, gender dysphoria. It truly is fascinating. There was actually very little about it in the books I had, I had to special ordered a ton.” She said with the biggest grin.

“Oh yeah, she had to,” Spike said with a roll of his eyes.

“Err... okay?” Drifting said softly.

“But I am now quite knowledgeable about your problem and I have discovered there are three possible cures!”

Her blood chilled and she whimpered. She wondered if she could possibly out run a teleporting mare. A princess, no less. Where in the palace was she? “Err... do... go on?”

“Well, the underlying problem seems to be a problem between the brain and the body. Namely, having the body of a stallion, but the brain of a mare. Now, as I'm sure you know there are plenty of differences between how both brains are formed, so having one type of brain in the wrong body isn't impossible. Albeit rare.”

“Errr, that's nice?” Drifting said as she glanced towards the window. She wondered how long she could maintain a bird transformation spell. Twenty, thirty minutes? Longer if she was near a magical leyline.

“So the first, and obvious solution is to fix your brain. Basically change your mind so it's okay with what your body is.”

Drifting gulped and ran. She leaped towards the window, but stopped in mid air and was dragged back to Twilight in the alicorn's telekinetic grip, who sighed.

“I told you she'd run,” Spike said with a shake of his head.

The princess looked into her eyes. “Drifting, please calm down, I assure you--”

“P-please d-don't do b-brain surgery on me, d-don't change my mind, please! I-I like being me!”

“Of course I'm not going to do that!” Twilight said with a shake of her head. “If you'd let me finish.” She dropped the mare, gently, on the bed. “As I was saying, that is a possible cure. HOWEVER, the penalties far exceed the benefits. To put it bluntly, it would change who you are, on a fundamental level. It wouldn't just change what you feel good as, it would change who you were. You'd look the same, but you wouldn't be you any more.” A frown formed on her face. “And... I've seen that kind of thing happen to ponies. Thanks to... a certain spirit's magic. Not to mention... changing cutie marks.” She took a deep breath. “While such a 'cure' would be feasible, it is not practical. It would be akin to murder, effectively erasing who you are and replacing it with somepony else. Such magic is forbidden, even having two ponies switching bodies, the closest realistic spell, is expressly forbidden and immoral.”

“O-oh. Okay,” Drifting said softly, relief flooding into her.

“The second method of curing you is, well, therapy. You see, you might not be... this at all. There are a number of problems that can lead to such... desires. Discussing them with a therapist may help to uncover those problems and fix whatever is making you feel this way.” She then gave a soft sigh. “Sadly, I hear this is... rarely the case. But it still is a possibility. Unfortunately, if you really are a mare born in a stallion's body, this won't really have any effect.”

“I've tried that. I'd rather... not.”

“The... third option is...” Twilight took a deep breath. “I imagine may be the most beneficial to you.” She moved over and sat besides him. “If changing your mind is impossible, then changing your body is the best cure. You won't look the same, but you'll still be the same pony. And... I'd like to help you.”

Her eyes widened. “W-wait, you can? I-I thought you said there wasn't magic for that! There is magic for that?”

“Sadly, no. Even the most advanced transformation spells have time limits and effects. Most are really just a practice of re-adjusting mass. For example, turning a pony into a bunny doesn't give them the abilities and functions of a bunny, it just makes them take a bunny shape. Or, for a bigger example, if I was to turn a pony into a dragon, they wouldn't be able to breath fire or step in lava, but they would be tougher and able to fly if I gave them wings. Assuming they knew how. Even then, the bigger the transformation, the shorter the duration. Actually changing a pony's gender...”

“O-oh...” Drifting said, lowering her eyes. “R-right. I guess... impossible.”

“Fully, yes. However, there are alternative methods,” Twilight said before her horn glowed. “Now, I wrote a few reports in my spare time.” Drifting yelped and jumped out of the way as hundreds of pages suddenly appeared in mid air, crashing down and nearly snapping the bed.

“S-spare t-time?”

“Yeah, sorry,” Twilight said with a small grin. “I wanted to do more, but I really didn't have time. I hope it's enough.”

Drifting stared at the stacks upon stacks of papers that now covered the bed. “I-I see. A-and... err... alternatives?”

“Well, magically there's no quick fix, but there are slower methods. There are treatments and procedures to turn you into a mare, at least physically. They aren't perfect, but they apparently can get you pretty close. It really depends on how far you want to go. Oh! And I learned a number of things to help you with your... ummm... look.” She paused and teleported a book into her hooves. “The art of cross dressing! There was an entire section on a thing called tucking!”

Drifting's face turned bright red. If ever there was a conversation she didn't want to have with the princess, THAT was it. She was pretty sure she couldn't possibly be more embarrassed.

“It'll probably be a lot easier for you, though. In the book it's an earth pony that does it. With your magic, it'll be a lot easier. See, you just have to reach back and--”

“I-I know what it is,” Drifting squeaked, her face bright red.

“Oh, okay then. Oh, also, I sent a letter to Princess Celestia about your condition.”

Drifting wilted. She had been wrong. “Y-you... t-told the princess?” NOW she was sure she could never be more embarrassed.

“Yes. She actually helped suggest a number of books.”

“Wait, really?”

“Oh, yes. It's not very commonly discussed this day, it seems, but it is becoming more popular.” She flipped through some of the pages. “She says she's known a few ponies in the past who have suffered with varying degrees of it, but regrets to inform she knew very few who had it to the extent you do.” She the glanced up. “But she also said that, no, she doesn't hate you for it. In fact, she is sorry you have to suffer through such feelings and she is very sorry if anything in her time as ruler has left you, or ponies like you, feeling that she would hate you for this.”

Drifting's mouth fell open, then shook her head. “Y-you're joking, right?”

“Nope. Hold on.” Twilight's horn glowed again and then a small letter appeared in front of Drifting. “Now, she had a few other recommendations. Also, Luna had a few of her own as well. Hold on... here!” She dropped a small business card in front of the mare. “This.”

“Who... wuh? Shoemaker? I... need shoes?”

“No no. That's just her last name. Ms. Shoemaker. She's a therapist who specializes in this field. Also, I've found five support groups that meet in the local area, a whole slew of--”

Drifting stared at the mare, her mouth falling open. Two weeks ago this mare had barely even known this kind of thing existed, now she was dumping so much info on the younger mare she felt her head might explode. She sat down and stared. No wonder the mare was a princess. Apparently she knew how to cram ten hours of work into ten minutes.

“I also sent a few suggestions to your principal to help with your time there.”

“Err... what? A few?” she asked.

Spike spread his arms apart and mouthed 'tons'.

“Oh, yes. Just a couple that came to mind. He didn't seem very pleased by that, but they were just suggestions so I can't imagine why.”

Drifting nodded. Suggestions from a princess. She doubted many would count them as 'suggestions'.

“Now, he refused to bend on the whole lodging with the mares thing, even though it would likely stunt your emotional development, so we compromised. If you want to stay here in the castle, you may. I've already talked with the princess, you can be a live-in guest while you're attending the school.”

“O-okay,” Drifting said, so overwhelmed she couldn't really think of anything else to say.

“Wonderful! Now, once we solve your problem, we can move onto the next phase!”

“Next... phase?”

“Yes! Finding you some friends!”

“Friends?”

“Well, I am the princess of friendship, aren't I?”

“Right. I ummm... so... I live here now?” she looked around and then noticed her boxes were stacked up by the closet. “You got the stuff out of my room?”

“Of course. Oh, I hope that wasn't a problem?”

“Err... no. I ummm... honestly... I'm... kind of tired. Can I uhhh...”

“Have a bit of rest? Sure,” Spike said quickly, before glancing to Twilight. “Twilight?”

“What? But I still have forty five flow charts, three presentations, sixteen reports--”

“How about you leave them here for her to... study on her own time?”

“Well, I suppose self study is good,” the alicorn said before her horn glowed again. Drifting yiped as four more boxes filled with books and papers landed on the ground. “Now, if you need any help with anything, just send a message. One of the guards will ensure it gets to me. Have a nice night.”

Then, just like that, the princess was gone.

Drifting stared at the place the alicorn had been standing, now just empty carpet.

“The... buck... just happened?” she asked, her mouth open as she stared. She slowly picked the papers off her bed and put them to the side, before collapsing onto the bed.

It beat electro-shock therapy at least, though it was kind of a shock. She wondered how in Equestria a pony like that existed. Didn't she ever burn out? Her cheeks turned red as she remembered the first time they'd met. She'd been so angry, shoving the princess out. So hurt, too. Yet the princess had done all of... this for her.. How could she ever thank her?

Her eyes widened and a grin spread across her face. If she lived in the castle... that meant she'd never have to run through the halls of the Starswirl Wing again! “Eeeeee!” She kicked her hooves out.

Then she sat up, her eyes widening. “Wait. Did she say there were... treatments to turn me into a...” She glanced towards the stacks and stacks of papers on the ground. She then looked out the window.

“... Well, it's still early.” She pulled up the top layer and started skimming through. She had heard a little bit of such methods, but had mostly ignored them. After all, she never imagined her mother would okay them. At least, not before.

Drifting groaned as she woke up, looking around blearily. Where in Equestria was she? Near her bed an alarm was going off, but she had no idea why. She didn't even have such a fancy crystal alarm clock. Why was it by her--

Why was she in a big purple--

The last day flooded into her mind, with one thought in the forefront. “I'm late!” she shrieked, jumping to her hooves. She trotted in place, looking around in a blind panic. She had no idea where she was or, more importantly, where the bathrooms were. They were--

Relief started to flood through her when she realized one of the doors of her room was attached to a bathroom. She trotted over and pushed it open, glancing inside. Her mouth fell open as she just stared. The tub was made of ivory, she was sure. Or maybe pearls. Or time frozen snow. Something super white and super expensive, she knew. It probably cost more than everything she owned. Nervously, she walked over towards it, stripped down and slid into the tub. She let out a light eek as it came on and the water was ice cold, making her recoil across the tub, hugging herself and shivering.

“R-r-really? E-even s-such a fancy tub?” she muttered to herself.

At least now she felt awake and after a few minutes she felt good and clean, allowing her to get ready. With the bathroom being right there and not having to race through the halls, she found she wasn't late at all. In fact, she might actually be early. Her mood darkened slightly as she pulled out her dresses.

As much as she hated to think it, she almost regretted Rarity fixing her dresses. She had a few others, but now none of them fit her right, at least not like the other three. Just the thought of putting on the non-fitting ones made her shudder. With two of them ruined, that meant she only had the one left to wear and it had been ALL she was wearing. Her mother had bought her a few others, but she had no idea how to do the padding properly.

She glanced towards her purse. She had a few bits now, though. Maybe she could visit Rarity and pay her to fix all of them. She made a mental promise to herself to do it immediately, once class was over.

But for now, she had to go. She pulled open her door and looked right into the eyes of a guard. Her calm evaporated as she stared up into those big, tough eyes. “I-I was t-told I could be here, t-the princess said I could. I-I swear! I have a letter!”

The guard blinked. “Of course, Miss Petal. Do you require an escort to your classes?” he asked, staring down at her with a calm expression. If he thought anything was amiss, there was no sign from him.

“Miss Pe...” She blushed. “N-no. I'm fine, thank you.” She then turned and quickly started jogging down the hall. She made a mental note.

Princess Twilight, best princess of all time. She was having the absolutely best week ever. She wasn't looking forward to finding out what it was that was going to end up ruining it. There was no way she was allowed to be this happy, the rules of the universe just couldn't allow it.

She still practically eeeeee'd the entire way to school, skipping as she went.

Best first day back to school EVER! As she'd walked into the school grounds, she noted a few ponies eying her. Some were the standard 'wait, is that...' looks, but a few she swore were looking her up and down. It had been two weeks, so she supposed it made sense. After all, they hadn't seen her or her dresses in ages AND she was feeling more confident than ever. Without having to go to the Starswirl Wing, she wasn't constantly being reminded of her unfortunate physical defect. Not to mention she was getting far better at hiding it.

Then she'd run into the three ponies in the halls, the ones who had beaten her up. They'd taken one look at her before running away, the one she had punted in the lead. She had enjoyed that far more than she should have and had struggled to keep her giggles as feminine as possible. With a little bit of a cackle thrown in.

However, the crème de leh crème of it all was breakfast.

Today they had DONUTS for breakfast. With cream in the center. She knew she shouldn't, but she was in too good a mood to deny herself the treat, getting one and taking her seat, shuddering with delight at the delicious snack. Calories be bucked. She'd just go for an extra long walk later.

Ohhhhh, she could go for late night walks now without being scared of getting to her room. “Eeeeeee!”

“Are you okay?” a voice asked, making her jump and look up, across the table. A red mare with a silver mane stared back at her.

“E-errr, yeah. Sorry. I ummm... I'm just having a really good day. Can I help you?” she asked nervously. The other mare sat across from her, chewing her lower lip.

“I... I just wanted to ummm... I wanted to say I'm sorry...”

“Sorry? Sorry for--” Alarms went off in her head and she looked around, expecting somepony to be behind her. While there were ponies behind her, none of them were near enough to be a real threat. More importantly, there were no signs of buckets, itching powder or spray bottles filled with some nasty dyes. “For... ummm, what?”

The other mare looked off to the side. “About... the letter. I... I meant to meet you there, really. But... then when those stallions showed up and started... fighting, I ummm... I had to go get a teacher. I never... saw you after that...”

Drifting stared for a moment, cocking her head to the side as she tried to understand what the mare meant. 'What letter? I--' Her grip failed, her donut falling to her tray as her mind remembered exactly what letter.

This mare had been there that night.

This mare had been WAITING for her.

This mare had LEFT HER THE NOTE!

It HADN'T been a trap.

She just stared, her mind struggling to reboot with this new information before her. Finally, she slowly managed to speak. “O-oh,” she said, her face going red as her voice cracked midway through.

“Sorry. I didn't realize anypony else would be there. I thought I'd just meet with you and ummm... we could talk.”

“O-oh...”

“...”

“...”

“...”

Drifting gulped and opened her mouth, before closing it again. She then opened it again, closed it, before finally opening it one last time. “W-what's your--”

A bell went off, making her jump in her seat and hit her knees on the table. She let out a hiss of pain, grabbing them and whimpering. When she looked up again a few moments later, the mare was gone. Her cheeks flooded red.

Had she imagined the whole thing?

“I'm Branding. It's nice to meet you. Maybe... talk after class. By!” the mare said from behind her before galloping off.

Drifting just stared. She then eeed a little bit more, her hooves wiggling in the air.

Best! Back to school day! Ever! She took one last bite of the donut before tossing her tray with the others and galloping off towards her class.

Author's Note

So, probably should have broken this up, but it just didn't work well and... meh. So one big update instead of spread over two chapters. A bit of a happier, more supporty time for Drifting. Things aren't perfect, but sometimes life throws you a bone.

Also, might have overdone Twilight a bit, but this was the main reason I had her forced to help Rarity earlier on, so when she did get a chance to research... well, there was a lot she had gone through. :P No sadness this chapter though, that'll be next chapter. Might be a bit until that one pops up, though.

Chapter 8: Preparations

Drifting gave a small little yawn as she wrote notes down in her book. As always, she sat in the front. It tended to help avoid trouble, since being in the front meant she was under the watchful eye of the teacher. She'd still sometimes get hit by a random spit ball or someone would 'accidentally' kick her chair, but it was far better than the alternatives.

Unfortunately, even being in front during the lecture did little to help her focus. She couldn't believe how excited she was and how great she was feeling. She'd spent a lot of time the previous night looking through all of the things Twilight had given her.

Well, about... a thousandth of what the princess had given her. She couldn't imagine how the alicorn had found the time, it would have taken Drifting months to come up with all that information, then write it all out. It was so well organized too, and she was fairly certain it had been proof read. But there were methods, little goals she could set for herself. While there weren't ways to actually fix everything, like getting pregnant was impossible, she was fine with that. She'd be an infertile mare and, frankly, as long as she was a MARE she didn't mind that part. Adoption was always a possibility if she ever decided she wanted children.

The biggest worry was she needed her parent's permission to do any of it, at least until she was officially considered an adult. Before anything else, though, she needed to talk with this new therapist the princess had suggested. She'd have to give them a call and then set everything up that way.

Either way, she was now super, duper excited and she didn't think anything could ruin her day. Buck, she'd only been hit by two spit balls today and--

“Drifting? Hello?”

She yelped when she realized the teacher was talking to her. “Y-yes?”

“Your answer?”

Red flooded her cheeks. “E-err... w-what... was the question... a-again?” The class burst into laughter.

The mare sighed. “When creating magical limbs or attachments such as wings or claws, where does the extra mass come from and what are some differences between them and standard mass?”

“Solidified magic drawn from the surrounding environment, usually from nearby leylines and often molded with a nearby natural substance, for example water. The biggest weakness is that it can be a bit unstable and shares an increased weakness compared to the element it makes up. For example wings made of water may fly well, but too much heat or cold and they would evaporate or shatter. Claws of dirt might be strong, but get them wet and they'd turn to mud. But the created limbs also tend to be, uhhh... prettier, due to the occurrence of magic flowing through them, giving them a glimmering, jewel like appearance.”

“Very good, Drifting. Now, do try to pay attention,” her teacher said.

Drifting tried, but soon her mind was already going back to thoughts of what her future could hold. There were so, so many options. Things she could do to fix herself, to make her appear more like who she was.

Unfortunately, as excited as she was, the princess had also mentioned how expensive some of the things could be. The most important part, the hormones, wouldn't be so bad and could do most of the needed work for her. Other things, such as gradually... sculpting her body to better fit herself and make her more feminine was far, far outside her price range. She'd need to be rich to afford something like that.

Another thing that terrified her, just a bit, was a full surgery. Making her more or less appear a female. All the way. The price on such a thing was obscene and she wasn't sure she could ever afford that even if she saved up her money for the rest of her life.

More importantly, she wasn't sure she wanted to or was willing to risk it. The surgery could be dangerous. There were also apparently plenty of cases of mares who stopped before getting it, and she couldn't find herself imagining they were any less mares for it. Though she wondered if she'd ever be able to really see herself as a mare if she DIDN'T do it. She really, really wished there was just a quick and easy magic spell she could do to fix everything. It would be soooo much easier. Or maybe a button she could push, or a lake she could fall in, or anything really to just quickly and easily make everything about her make sense.

The bell rang and she jumped with a yipe, her face going red as she looked around. She quickly got to her hooves and made her way towards the door, her mind completely void of whatever the teacher had said. All she wanted to do was run back to her room and start doing more research. She still had two more classes to go though. Why did school have to be so long and boring? It wasn't fair! She wanted to go now! At least her next class was study hall, so she could probably read something to try and keep her mind off it.

She stopped in the halls as she caught sight of Branding. She gaped for a moment, before galloping towards the mare. “H-hey! Branding!” she called out.

The mare looked up and gave a little smile. “Hey. Ummm, Drifting, I--” She then yelped and stepped forward as somepony stepped on the back of Drifting's dress and made her fall back when she felt the sudden tug. “Are you okay?”

“Sorry,” a pony mumbled before he walked off.

Drifting groaned, her face red. “Y-yeah. Pride's a little sore, but ummm... yeah. So, errr... h-hi again. It's... not torn, is it?”

“What, your pride?”

“N-no. The dress.”

Branding shook her head. “No. I don't think so.” She held out a hoof to help the other mare up.

Drifting coughed nervously and gulped. “S-so, err... the note. Uhhhh... you left it?”

“Uh huh.”

“And, uhhh, well, you said... err... you thought I was... interesting?”

“Yes.”

“And... would like to... get to know me a bit more?”

“I was the one who wrote it, no need to repeat it towards me.”

Drifting blushed redder. “R-right. S-sorry, can I uhhh... can I ask why?”

“Oh, I thought you were interesting. I'd never seen a stallion like that, who actually looked pretty good in a dress. I thought you were a mare at first, but then I saw you go into the Starswirl Wing. Is it true you met the princess?”

Drifting blinked a few times, lowering her eyes. “I... I am a mare.”

“Wait, really? I thought... oh. Sorry, I mean, I heard you had a room in the Starswirl Wing and when I asked around, a few ponies said you were a stallion. I thought... err...”

Drifting took a slow, deep breath. “It's a... long story. I... I'm... born a colt, but I am a mare. I uhhh... would... you like to ummm... we could talk about it... I mean, if you're... if you still think I'm interesting.”

Branding nodded. “Sure. Meet me outside after class?”

“Sure! I--” He paused. “Err... can we meet just outside the gate? It'll still be sunlight so... not anywhere secluded this time. Please.”

“Wh--” She then cringed. “Ah. Right. That'll be fine. I'll see you then!” She said before turning and trotting off.

Drifting watched her go, her heart hammering before she turned and started trotting off. Eeeee. She was INTERESTING!

Drifting blushed as she looked across the table at the other mare, her heart hammering as she eyed her. The two had gone to Pony Joe's and were now enjoying a couple of milk shakes. Well, Branding seemed to be enjoying hers. Drifting had barely been able to get through the cherry on hers and nibble a little of the whipped cream as she explained the situation.

Branding swallowed a bit more of her shake, before nodding. “Sooo... you're a guy who likes to dress up like mares then. Weird.”

She sighed and lowered her eyes. “No... it's not... I am a mare. I just... I'm not... I just was born in the wrong body.”

“That doesn't really make a lot of sense, how can you be born in the wrong body?”

“I just... I was. There's... tons of evidence to support it. I literally have stacks of information about it now.” Sure, she hadn't read most of it, but it still counted.

“I guess, it just seems kind of...” Branding cringed. “H-hey, don't cry. It's cool, really. You say you're a mare, you're a mare. No need to be upset about it.”

“But I am a mare... the only reason I... was staying in the Starswirl Wing was because I'm listed as a stallion on the files. I don't even know if I can be listed as a mare. Even if I was, I don't know if they'd let me in there, they told me not to use any of the mare facilities.”

“Well, yeah, you're a stallion. That'd be dangerous.”

“I'm a mare!” Drifting said quickly, shaking her head.

“Right, right, sorry. So you use the guys, then? Err... as a... mare?”

“... No,” Drifting said, closing her eyes. “We... came to an agreement. It really wasn't safe for me to use the male ones. Nopony was comfortable with me going in there anyway, since the other students would probably just beat me up. So... instead I use the staff faculty ones. They're gender neutral.”

Branding grinned. “That's pretty cool. You know, you're pretty lucky.”

“Huh?”

“I mean, you get all this special treatment. Getting to use the faculty stuff so you don't need to do it in front of the other students. Getting all the benefits of being a mare and a stallion has to be pretty cool. You even met the princess!”

Drifting sighed and shook her head. “I'd rather have just been born a mare and not have any of this stuff happen,” she grumbled.

“Oh, it's not so bad. At least you'll never have to deal with periods.”

Drifting face hoofed.

“Err... is something wrong? Sorry, was that a bad thing to say?”

“No... just... I've been told that before. I'd rather have the periods than be... this way.”

The two sat there in awkward silence, soon just sipping their shake. Finally, Drifting gulped and lowered her straw. “I... ummmm... I-I'm sorry. I thought... I mean, when you left the note, I thought... maybe you knew and... I thought you were kind of... interested in... sorry...”

“Hmmm? Oh, no. I still think you're pretty cute and interesting,” Branding said with a smile. “Never really seen a stallion like you.”

Drifting almost corrected her, but nodded slowly. “So... ummm... does that mean...?”

“Wanna see a movie this weekend?”

“I-I'd love to!” the mare said, nearly jumping out of her seat. She then blushed. “I uhhh... what... kind?”

“Well, there's a few out. There's this cute romance from pranch, do you like those?”

“Not really, I usually like the romantic comedies,” Drifting said, before freezing. “B-but I don't dislike them, we can see that. What's it called?”

“Crispe Deh Morveux. I hear it's pretty good.”

“T-that sounds delightful,” Drifting said, before gulping and glancing down. The other mare reached for the check and she shook her head. “I... I'll pay. I ummm... I... kinda called you out here to talk about everything. So ummmm...”

“Okay,” Branding said, before glancing back. “Oh, that reminds me. You're in the school, right? What's your specialty?”

“Transformation magic, yours?”

“Fire magic.”

“Oh, you're—”

“If you make a joke along the lines of 'you're really hot', I will light you on fire.”

“... I'm... going to just shut up now.”

“Good boy. See you this saturday. I'll have the time figured out and let you know by then,” she said before trotting off.

Drifting sighed and put a few bits on the table. She looked down at her shake, a frown on her face. She... didn't know why, but something felt off. She had a date, shouldn't she be happier?

She shook her head and got to her hooves. No time to worry about that. She still had to get her dress fixed and set up a meeting with her new therapist.

Eeeee, she had a date! Yeah, that was more like it.

Author's Note

Ugh, work has been hectic amongst other problems, so haven't been able to do much. Not a lot in this chapter, sadly, aside from the period thing.

I swear, the period one is the one I hear all the time. I'd probably rather not have periods(I'm lactose intolerant, I've done the whole 'pain, cramps, ow ow' thing, so I'm not hoping to repeat it) but really? I think just about EVERY trans person would rather have had periods than be born in the wrong body. I get people are just trying to be nice and give an 'up side' but still, sometimes it really feels like people are just downplaying how much this stuff can hurt. Maybe I'm just over thinking it too much.

On up side, I have really, really, reallllly loved this story so far. Writing a trans story has just felt so good, I've decided to do a few more! I'm going to start a pokemon story(featuring a trans trainer.) using the nuzlocke rules(cause... I really need to use a team that DOESN'T have 5-6 flow charts in the creation). Not sure if I'll post it anywhere, but I still think it would be therapeutic and fun to write. I also have a few more in mind I'll probably write for sale eventually. Might convert this one into a book as well, eventually(so more excuse to add more chapters to it. :P) Hope people are enjoying it. Next chapter! The date!

Chapter 9: The date

Drifting trotted back and forth in front of the theater, her heart pounding as she waited. Finally saturday was here which meant MOVIE! Awesome movie! With a cute mare who was interested in HER of all ponies.

Eeeee, she felt great. She must have been looking really good the last week or so to get to that point. She glanced back at her dress, a soft, gentle sky blue with a ruby red hem. It was an old one that she'd had since before she knew Rarity, but the mare had been happy to fix all of her dresses for only a hoofful of bits.

Well, she hadn't, but Sassy had been willing to. When Drifting had gone to the boutique to explain the situation, the older mare had admitted that Rarity wouldn't be around for a few more weeks. However, she was more than capable of fixing the damaged dresses and molding the others.

Drifting now had over half a dozen dresses to choose from, more than she ever thought she'd have access to. Not only that, but she had managed to set up an appointment for next week. Albeit, it was a fairly late one set for after class, but it would be nice. If the pony was even half as awesome as the princess, then it would be awesome.

Now, however, she was waiting and waiting, glancing towards the theater and hoping Branding would show up soon.

And dreading the mare wouldn't show. She couldn't help but imagine this was all a horrible prank, designed to humiliate her after she came here. It wouldn't be the first, or even worst, prank that had been played on her.

She kept pacing back and forth, looking towards the clock. Five minutes until the movie was set to start. She swore the ticket pony was watching her, judging her. Did he know? Had he seen this happen before, dateless ponies wandering outside, waiting for a chance at romance that'd never come? Judging her? Shaming her? Making her feel as if--

“Sorry I'm late!” Branding said as she trotted up, making the other mare jump.

“W-what? Late? Errr, r-right. I uhhh, I barely noticed. Eh heh... heh.”

“Did you get the tickets?” the other mare asked.

“W-what? Oh, ummm... no. I... wasn't sure if...” She blushed.

“It's fine, I asked you out. I'll pay,” she said with a smile, before trotting to the window. Drifting trotted behind her, following the other mare into the building and letting out a sigh of relief.

It hadn't all been an attempt to humiliate and shame her. Yes! “So, uhh, what happened?”

“Oh, I got caught up with a friend, Rosewing. She just started dating this jerk, you know Topazhoof?”

“I'm not familiar with him...”

“Well, he's a total jerk, but she doesn't see it at all. He keeps flaking out on their dates. You should have a talk with him.”

“W-what? Why me? I don't even know him,” Drifting said softly.

“Well, you're both guys, I figured you'd know better what to say.”

The unicorn sighed. “I'm a mare...”

“Well, yeah. But I mean since you're really a stallion. Besides, they don't go to our school so you could put on some normal clothes and he'd never know. We should all go on a double date sometime.”

Drifting blinked a few more times, looking away. “Y-yeah. Double date,” she mumbled. “I'd... still prefer to be in a dress for that.”

“Ehhh, whatever you like. Come on,” she said before dragging him along into the theater and making their way to some seats near the back. They sat down and soon the commercials started.

Drifting glanced over, a little worried. She wished she had any idea what to do, she'd never been on a date before and now she was certain she was messing something up. Wasn't popcorn supposed to be involved? Or was it because they were both girls there was no popcorn? She didn't mind if there wasn't, she didn't need the empty calories. But she wished she knew if there was or wasn't supposed to be. Was SHE supposed to get the popcorn? What if she'd already screwed up and ruined things? Was she supposed to buy the tickets? She thought the pony who asked out was supposed to. But then she'd also heard it was the stallion's job to get the tickets. But she wasn't a stallion, but Branding kept calling her one.

A small knot of worry started to fill her stomach. “Branding?”

“Hmmm?” the mare asked, glancing over.

“I uhhh... I've never... done this before. Am I doing everything... right?”

Branding cocked an eye before chuckling and reaching out, patting her head. “Don't worry, you're just fine. You're being a cute little coltfriend, no need to worry.”

“Marefriend.”

“Sure. Now come on, just relax and enjoy the movie.”

Drifting sighed and glanced ahead towards the movie. After about twenty minutes, she came to a horrible, horrible realization.

She was so. Incredibly. Bored. The movie wasn't bad, she guessed. It was just 'artistic'. And, unfortunately, she didn't get it in the slightest. There weren't any translations so she had no idea what was going on. It was all supposed to be about 'subtext', she imagined. She had no idea how to read them. She couldn't even pick up on the signals SHE was giving half the time, how could she possibly pick up on the signals that others were giving? So instead she focused on something that made her happy.

Watching the pretty mare on the screen and hoping one day she could be that pretty and classy, giving a soft sigh. She folded her hooves neatly in her lap and gave a content little murmur, imagining herself being on the screen, dancing and singing, so graceful and majestic.

Then Branding yawned and stretched a little.

Drifting froze, her heart pounding in her chest as Branding's hooves went up, up, UP! 'Oh gosh she's going to make a move what do I do? Do I accept it? Do I nestle in closer? Do I play hard to get? Do I snuggle? What do I do what do I do what do I do?!!'

The legs came back down, back into Branding's lap. The panic evaporated, soon molding into disappointment.

'She didn't make a move? Does that mean she's not interested? Did I do something wrong? Does she want me to make a move? No, that'd be stupid. She invited me, that means she's supposed to make the move to snuggle, right? But she sometimes calls me a stallion, does that mean I'm supposed to do it? What if I put my head on her shoulder? She might freak out and slap me! But what if she WANTS me to put my head on her shoulder? Ohhhh, I wish I could know what she's thinking!'

'I swear I've seen that background pony in something else, ugh, what was it? A commercial? Maybe another movie? Dang it, this is going to drive me nuts,' Branding thought to herself.

'She looks annoyed, am I doing everything wrong?' Drifting thought to herself. 'I need a book on this! Why didn't I get a book on this? I should have sent a letter to the princess! She's a super genius, she probably knows everything about dating ponies! Oh, or Rarity, I bet she'd be totally perfect at this dating thing. I bet she's never even met a stallion who didn't fall head over hooves in love with her in a moment. I bet even a prince would love her in a few seconds! Gahhhhh, why does this have to be so hard?' Her eyes widened. 'What if I didn't brush my teeth? Oh, wait, no, I did. I think. What if it didn't hold? What if my hair is out of line, what if--'

“Are you okay? You're breathing really heavily,” Branding said with a cocked eye.

“Y-yeah, just not feeling too well. I uhhh... I need to go use the little mare's room. I-I'll be right back,” Drifting said before getting to her hooves and trotting away as fast as she could.

“Uhhhh... okay? Have-- wait, did you say...?” Branding blinked and got to her hooves, trotting after her.

Drifting walked into the mare's bathroom, locked the door and moved to the small mirror, staring into it. “Deep breaths, deep breaths. Okay, you're doing okay. You're fine. You're on a date, and everything is going smoothly. Smooth as silk.” She put a hoof to her chest and breathed deeply as she examined her make up. “Yes, it's all good. You're a pretty little mare and she asked YOU out. She knows what you are, she's okay with it. She probably has more experience with this kind of thing, anyway, it--”

There was a knock on the door. “Drifting?”

The unicorn blinked, then walked to it, slowly opening it. “Branding? What's wrong?”

“What are you doing?” she hissed at him.

“Using the bathroom,” Drifting said, looking very confused. “Did you need to, too?”

“It's... that... y-you're in the mare's bathroom,” Branding whispered back, looking around frantically. “You can't do that.”

“Ummm... but... I'm a mare.”

“No, you're a stallion. Just because you put on a dress like that and... g-get out of there before you get us in trouble.”

“W-what?”

“Get out of there, it's weird. Just use the stallion's bathroom.” Branding gestured quickly towards the other room.

Drifting just stared, her mouth falling open. She closed her eyes for a few moments, before closing the door and locking it.

There was a bit more heavy knocking on the door, but Drifting just turned to look at the mirror. She took a slow, deep breath and stared at herself. “It's... only the first date. We can... no, we can't.” She sighed and slowly opened the door again.

Branding looked relieved. “Thank heavens. Now come out before--”

“Branding, what do you think I am?”

“I'm... sorry?”

Drifting stepped out of the room and into the hallway with her. Thankfully, there was a bit of privacy for now as none of the movies had let out. “What do you think I am?”

“A unicorn, obviously.”

“No. I mean... I am a mare, you know this. Don't you? You've... seen me and...”

“A fancy dress doesn't make you a mare,” Branding said with a sigh, before smiling. “Listen, is that what this is about? I'm cool with your little fetish, really. If you like to play dress up and act girly, that's fine. But you can't--”

“That's not it!” Drifting shrieked, before covering her mouth and blushing. She shook her head. “I'm not a... I don't... I am a mare.”

“But--”

“I was born in the wrong body, that's all! And I fully intend to fix it!”

“Fix... it? Magic can't... ew. You can't just change bodies.”

“I fully intend to change mine. To fix what I am, to make myself a girl. Fully. I'm not just... a stallion in a dress. I'm a mare in a dress who just isn't... right yet.”

“That doesn't even make any sense. You're a guy, you're obviously a guy, I mean... look at you. You don't even really... I mean, it's obvious you're a stallion. You can't just fix that. Come on, I said I was fine with it, so it's fine. Let's go see the movies.”

“Yes, you can and I intend to do... everything I can,” Drifting said before lowering her eyes. “And I... I think I should go home.”

“W-what?”

“I'm a mare and... you see me as a stallion in a dress. I can't... I can't do that. I won't be that. I think... I think this is a bad idea. Was a bad idea. Let's just... call this off. We shouldn't--” Drifting yelped and recoiled when she was slapped, a hoof moving up to her cheek. “Y-you can't... y-you hit me!”

“You ARE a stallion in a dress,” Branding snapped, glaring at her. “What the buck is wrong with you? You can't just... you're the weirdo!”

Drifting squeaked and took another step back. “R-right, I'm sorry, I-I'm the weirdo, I'm the freak, I-I just don't think we should... b-be... I should go. I-I'm sorry it didn't work out, I just--” She tried to take a step past the mare, but Branding moved to block her way.

“Why? I just want to know why? I put up with your little fetish. Who else would?”

Drifting paused before taking a deep breath. “It's NOT a fetish. It's not just going to go away. It's who I am, it's WHAT I am. To you it might seem weird, but to me it's the very core of my being. I cannot, will not just hide it away. And... and...” She closed her eyes, before opening them and glaring right back. “And I deserve somepony who does more than 'puts up' with me. I deserve someone who loves me, cares about me and sees me for what I really am.”

Branding took a step back, allowing Drifting to pass by. She quickly took the opening, trotting towards the exit, her head lowering slightly.

She couldn't believe it, her first date was an absolute disaster. It--

“You're just... just a freak,” Branding snapped. Drifting turned in time to see the other mare's horn alight, before she sent the flames searing at her.

She let out a shriek, covering her face, but she wasn't burned. After a few moments the flames dissipated. She slowly opened her eyes, her entire body shaking as she tried to stop her heart from hammering. Of course, the other mare wouldn't have killed or really attacked her. Not over something like this. It wasn't as if--

She then noticed her body felt lighter. She looked down at herself and saw the ash in her fur, her dress gone. Her eyes widened before she looked to Branding, then herself. “You... why would...”

“See? You're just a stallion, anypony can see. Now knock off the... knock off the...” She stopped and stared as the tears started to go down Drifting's face. She then looked down at the pile of ash. “O-oh. Drifting, I'm sorry, I just over reacted. I was--”

Drifting didn't listen. She turned and galloped away, the tears flowing down her face. She made it outside before her horn glowed, disappearing with a pop and a bird appearing in her place. The transformation wouldn't last long, but it didn't need to.

She flew through the sky, towards the castle. All she wanted to do was crawl into her bed and cry until she couldn't cry anymore.

Author's Note

Here it is, the next chapter! Honestly, I kind of worried I overdid Branding a little much in this chapter. I never expected things to really go well between them, but I expected it to last longer. I'm sure we've all met that person who 'says' they understand, but then likes to make little digs, comments, etc, that shows they don't even while they put up that smiling face and pretend. I figured I'd have Drifting endure it longer, let it eat at her for a while.

But then I thought about who and what Drifting was. She wasn't the kind of mare to just... take things like that. She will to an extent, but she was willing to fight her parents and the school, even the princess to be this. As much as she wanted to date, she wasn't so desperate that she'd give it up for a date. She is also smart enough to realize and end something before it gets to the point where she knows it'll hurt. Wish I was that smart.

However, also extremely neurotic on dates. But yeah, I was a little worried I had Branding react a little too harshly over being... semi-dumped here, so had to show it to a friend to make sure it wasn't too bad. Then I spent the next night dealing with a crazy lady at work who flipped out and was trying to break down doors to get to her ex, so yeah. Sometimes people react... poorly. Especially in the heat of the moment. Hope none of you guys have had to deal with someone who acted like that, but for those who have, I am so sorry for you and I hope you managed to escape that person. It's not easy, but no one deserves to be treated like that.

So, next chapter should be going up soon(-ish?). It will be... the therapy session! I've had a few questions asked(one in particular asked quite a few times) about Drifting, so it'll be a good chance to exposition a bit and explain what led to this point, how she found out and a bit more about how she feels now.

Chapter 10: Therapy

Author's Note

So, a few things. Um, trigger warning? There is talk about self hurting in this chapter, a desire to, at least in one point in her life, to do that. So, you've been warned.

So, normally I have this at the end, but with the trigger warning, I figured best to have it at the start. This chapter is well, her therapy session. It'll answer a few questions I've gotten a lot(quite a few in mails), the biggest being Drifting's sexuality! As clear as mud! It's kind of an exposition chapter disguised as a therapy session, with a bit of drama on either end.

One thing I should mention. I've never, ever been good at hatred. Like, I can hate, but not for long. I've met some people who used me, hurt me, abused me, and I hate them so passionately, with all of my being. Then after two-three days I get tired of it and just let it go. I'm still sad that they did it, and I don't trust them, but that desire to want bad stuff to happen to them or hurt them like they hurt me goes away. It's just way too exhausting to hate someone. I've fortunately become quite aware of this, so while I may plot and scheme, I never actually do anything I end up regretting later. So yay. Sadly, it has led to some people taking advantage to just... hurt me again and again. Some people just suck.

So, I'm sure some of you guys have answers to some of the questions asked in this chapter, feel free to voice them! Or... not, if you don't want to. Since, well, some of them can be kinda personal.

For those curious, these answers are Driftings. While a lot of them are inspired by me, they're also what I imagine Drifting's answer would be. So no need to feel pity or worry for me, I'm not in that bad a state anymore. Not for a long, long time. Drifting is younger, so those bad thoughts are just a lot more recent for her.

Chapter 10: Therapy

Drifting shuddered slightly as she crawled out of bed, staring at the clock.

She got up, she knew she was supposed to have gotten up. She'd already missed a few days of class and spent too long hiding away in her room. Branding had tried to come by a few times, but when the guards told her, she just said no, she wasn't seeing anypony. Especially not her.

Drifting couldn't believe it. She'd felt a lot of things for ponies over the years, but this one felt horrible. She didn't like it in the slightest. She was pretty sure she hated Branding. She hadn't at first, she'd been sad, angry, upset. But the feelings hadn't faded. She couldn't even think about the mare without either wanting to scream or kick something with all of her might. Usually a nice nights sleep would make her feel better, but it didn't. Not this time. She just wanted to stay nestled in her bed and cry.

If this was hatred, true hatred, she didn't like it in the slightest. It felt like she was rotting from the inside out, destroying parts of her with every second she couldn't let it go. She glanced at at the clock and sighed, before slowly crawling out of bed and pulling out a small dress. She'd already missed classes for the day, but there was still one thing she had to do.

Meet with her therapist. She made the appointment, the princess had gotten it for her, the least she could do was show up for it. It wasn't as if laying wrapped up in her blankets was doing her any good. She slowly made her way to the bathroom and showered, cleaning herself up as best she could.

She stared into her mirror when she was done and began applying her makeup. Her stomach formed knots the longer she looked at herself, but she struggled to ignore it and just keep working, forcing herself to look as feminine as she possibly could and struggling to keep the tears from flowing out.

She rested her head against the glass. “Ugh. Stupid... stupid mare. W-why do you even care? I mean... I just... you're just... Ugh! One date, your first date, it wasn't important or anything. Besides, you broke up with her. Sorta. I mean, kinda. It was like a date. I just... ugh.” She lightly thumped her head against the mirror, her horn tapping it. “Why do you have to be so... picky? She... was okay with this. Why did you have to push it? No wonder she got mad, no wonder she got... upset. Why does it matter if she didn't... see you as a mare? She seemed okay just playing along. And... that's all this is, after all. Isn't it? Just... a big game...” she muttered to herself, staring down at her hooves. “A big, stupid, stupid game that you like to play with yourself... why are you so stupid?”

She closed her eyes again. “You're... a mare. No matter what anypony says. And you're going to fix this and... maybe you'll find somepony who loves you and sees you as that mare. Or maybe you'll be alone forever. But who cares? Lots of ponies spend their whole lives being alone. You'll be fine. You don't need anypony else to make you happy. You have family. You have fri... you have family. You can make new friends. Better friends. Friends who can teleport and shoot lasers and all your old friends will be so jealous and wish they were still your friends. Like the princess. Yeah. She wants to be your friend for... some reason. See? You're in the castle, you're a pretty mare, you're going to get some... help from a... new... therapist.” She gulped and looked towards the door.

What if this new pony, Shoemaker, was just like Toughlove? Could she endure another... session like those? What if this was all another trap? Would the princess do that to her?

She snorted and looked in the mirror again. “Well, if it is a trap, BUCK THEM! I'll just leave! I am NOT doing that again!” She shoved the door open. “Okay! I'm ready! Let's do this!”

Drifting was so not ready as she sat, her legs a little crossed as she tried to keep her heart from hammering. The room she had been sent to was... nice. It had a few chairs, a small table, a few jars with little snacks and candies. The window gave a nice view of the city as well. The only thing it was missing was her therapist. Which was fine with her, she was feeling ready to bolt. She wondered how fast she could run to the window, open it, transform and escape.

The door opened, putting an end to her fantasies of flight. “I'm so sorry,” a black coated and red maned unicorn mare said before she stepped inside, sitting down across from her. “It has been the most hectic of days.” She adjusted her glasses and glanced down at the folder in her hooves. “Now, Snowy, was it?”

“Drifting,” she said softly. “M-my name is... Drifting Petal.”

“Oh. Right, sorry, ummm, hold on one second. Wrong fi--”

“It's the right file. But... I don't... go by Snowy,” Drifting said softly, her legs shivering. She saw as the realization dawned on the mare. Here it came, the insults, the warnings, the telling her she had no idea what she was in for.

“Really? That's a shame,” the mare said, making Drifting sigh. “Snowy is such a pretty name for a mare.”

“I'm a--” Drifting blinked. “A... mare...?”

“Of course,” the mare said, before blinking and going through the folder. “Errr... right? You do identify as female, correct? Sorry, I try to clarify this before I start normally, but today has just been so hectic.”

“Err, uhhh, yes. I do identify as female. Don't... ummm, don't you think it's weird? Or... going to tell me... ummm... I'm... wrong?”

“Why would I do that?” the mare asked. “Oh! I am Sole Shoemaker. Should have said that first. And no, dear. I'm well aware of your situation and, no, I don't think it's weird. I've dealt with quite a few patients in your particular situation.”

“And... you fixed them?”

Sole shook her head. “No. I merely helped them get the help they needed to make themselves feel like the ponies they were. Now, tell me, how far along do you plan to go? Or have you decided yet?”

Drifting gulped, her face red. “I-I... I don't know. Some of it looks... k-kind of scary. But I... I want to... I want to... be... I mean...”

“Living as a mare full time?”

Drifting nodded quickly. “Uh huh... and... I think... hormones. I don't know about the surgeries, though. Some of them... I mean...”

“That's quite alright. Plenty of ponies who undergo these procedures never make it to those stages. Drifting, the important thing is to get you where you feel comfortable, safest and most like yourself.”

“Really? You don't think... I mean...”

“What?”

Drifting poked her hooves together. “My... last therapist she said... I mean... she told me... I-I was... born a stallion, so I have to... be a stallion. Aren't you going to... say that? Or tell me I can't... be feminine enough to...?”

Sole took a slow, deep breath. “Drifting, let me answer that with a question of my own. Do you think ponies are only born male and female?”

“Ummm... yes? I mean... that's basic biology,” Drifting said softly.

“But they aren't. You see, there is a wide spectrum. Some ponies are born with both parts, some are even born with neither. Some are born with different pieces and mixes of them. While male and female are the most common and seen, there is a wide spectrum on which any pony can fall and, for many of them, surgery, hormone treatments and other medical aid are their only options to be what they feel they are. Would you say these ponies are wrong for correcting their bodies?”

Drifting blinked and blushed as she imagined a pony without any of the parts. She slowly shook her head. “N-no. I... guess not.”

“Your situation is much the same. You just happened to be, physically, further along the spectrum of male than some of them. Or less, in some cases. It doesn't mean you're wrong, it means you have a problem that you can get aid for and there is nothing wrong with asking for it.”

“R-really?”

“Mmm hmmm. Now, tell me, how long have you had these feelings and when did you find out you felt this way?”

Drifting blinked, then lowered her eyes. “I... ummm... you... won't tell anypony? I mean, you can't, right? You promise?”

“I'm sorry?”

“Can you... promise not to... tell anypony, at all? Ever? Especially not my... parents? Or the princess?”

Sole frowned and then gave a nod. “I won't tell a soul. What you say here is between us, and us only.”

Drifting took a slow, deep breath. “I... felt like this when I was... younger, but it really started to hit when I got older. I... well.... when we played games, I'd always have to like... the colts always had to be the royal guards, fillies got to be the princesses. I... kind of wanted to wear the dresses and... things like that and... I got jealous. I... I didn't know why, at the time. But I'd always get sad when they'd... do those things. The makeup, the dresses, even things like... hearing about slumber parties made me sad. Because they were filly slumber parties and... I didn't like the colt slumber parties.”

Sole nodded as she wrote down in her folder. “Keep going.”

“I didn't think of it much but... then I got older and things got a lot worse. I really felt like I was expendable. Like I didn't care about myself, or my body. I couldn't even look in the mirror, I couldn't bring myself to do anything but play games or read books. Mostly ones with... mare characters who I could pretend to be. I didn't go around others often and I got really fat and I really, really hated myself and I...” She took a slow, deep breath. “I... wanted to be a mare at times. I'd watch other mares, I'd wish I was them or could be them but I thought it was wrong and I was a bad pony because of it.” Little tears started to form into her eyes. “I couldn't... do anything. I tried to bury it down, told myself that stallions didn't cry, that they didn't get upset, that they were strong, like the guards. Stoic. But I didn't want to be that. I wanted to run and giggle and skip and wear pretty dresses and put on makeup and do all those girly fun things and...” She bit her lower lip. “You... won't tell anypony, right? You promised?”

“Of course,” Sole said softly.

“Well... I... read about things. Potions that could turn ponies, stories of ponies who were turned mare. They were fiction, but I fantasized. Especially the ones that happened on accident. Hoped one day I'd wake up and... poof. I... I kind of wished they'd happen to me, but I heard they were impossible. But... I started learning transformation magic for it. But... I still heard it couldn't happen. Then... I ummmm...” She chewed on her lower lip. “I... I was young. I was.... well, younger. I was really, really upset. I didn't really... I didn't know what I was thinking was wrong...”

Sole stopped, putting the pen down. “Dear? It's okay. This is a safe place.”

Drifting gulped. “I'd... fantasize about... accidents happening. I'd remembered hearing about a... carriage accident and a pony losing their...” She shuddered. “In the accident. And I thought... they were lucky. I kind of hoped something like that would happen to me. Because then I could... pretend and nopony would care. Because I wouldn't have a... I wouldn't be it any more.”

“I... see.”

“That's when I went to my first therapist. I... I knew I was wrong, something was bad. She told me I was possibly transgender. I didn't know much about it then.” She blinked as she thought back to her room and the piles and piles of papers. “I... still don't know much about it, I think. But... she said it was okay. That I could be a mare if I wanted. That I didn't have to pretend to be something I didn't want to.”

“And you told her about your little fantasies?”

“Uh huh. She said it was better I try to be a mare, than risk... hurting myself. I took it to heart. I... started trying to do it. Little things at first. Tiny things. Little... tiny things. I'd dress up in hiding. I'd try to walk like one. I felt so happy, like everything made sense. I started losing weight, too.” She glanced down and sighed. “Then I told my parents and well... mom didn't take it well. She took me away from that therapist and took me to a few others until she found one who claimed she could... fix me.” She groaned. “But I don't wanna be fixed unless being fixed means turning me into a mare!”

Sole nodded. “Of course. If that's what you want to do, I'll try to help you as best I can.”

“R-really?”

“Mmmm hmm. However... is your family supportive of your changes now?”

She groaned again. “Kind of. Mom just... doesn't want me to do any of this. But... my sister is amazing and is supporting me a hundred percent. And, frankly, she's the only family I need.”

Sole nodded. “Then I think it's best you know now. Most hormone treatments will require your parent's permission before you can get them, at least until you're considered a full adult.”

Drifting felt like sinking into the ground. “O-oh.”

“If your parents don't support the change, there are alternatives. There are ways to... put your development on hold. Your male development. At least until you're old enough to make the decision for yourself. If your parents aren't okay with a full conversion at this stage, pausing your development may be an easier sale.”

Drifting blinked. “I... think I read something about that.”

“There are dozens of other options we can look at as well. I'll try to have more prepared during our next appointment, okay?”

Drifting nodded. “I... I'd like that.”

“And Drifting, don't worry. You're not the first pony I've met in your situation, you won't be the last. But you can get through this and I will help in any way I can. And trust me, my help is worth a lot for this.”

Drifting nodded, a smile on her lips.

“Now, are there any things you'd like to discuss or talk about? Any recent troubles or things you've had on your mind?”

Drifting blinked a few times, before nodding. “One... thing. I guess. I mean, ummmm...”

“Yes?”

“I kinda... had a nasty break up last week. Sorta.”

“Sorta?”

“Well... it was... kinda our first date and I got mad at her because I...” She lowered her eyes. “I was being too... demanding. Then... she over reacted and... I think I hate her. But...” She gave a little whimper. “Some of the things... I think she said might have been true.”

“Which things?”

“She said... who would put up with me. Being this way. And... and I can't blame her. I mean, there are so many pretty mares out there without... this? So why would any pony put up with this? Are there ponies who would put up with this?”

“Plenty of ponies would, those who would love you and care about who you are. For many ponies, something like this would be insignificant. I know a few who are in your situation who are in kind, loving relationships with ponies who treat them like the mares or stallions they are. I even know a herd or two that has a few ponies like you. There are plenty who will more than accept you for the mare you are.” Sole gave her a soft smile. “And you should never stay with a pony only because you're afraid you'll never find anypony else.” She glanced down to her notes. “So, your sexual preference is towards mares?”

“I... don't... know,” Drifting said with a sigh. The other mare didn't say anything, so she continued. “I... think it is? I mean, I think I like mares. I never really... I mean, sometimes I'd get a little bit of excitement from stallions, but only rarely. But mares always made me the... most excited. Before. When I was... before this. But now that I'm this, well...”

“Yes?”

“I think it was kinda jealousy. I don't think I wanted to be with them so much as... to be them. Since I've started being a mare, even when I was just... trying, before I could dress up, when I started imagining myself being like them, I stopped getting those feelings. It kind of became the... same with the stallions. Sometimes I'd get a surge of excitement, but it was rare. I... don't know if that means I like both, or neither. Is that strange?”

“Of course not, plenty of ponies are like that,” Sole said before writing a few things down. “But you do seem awfully concerned about being alone. Could you tell me, what is your ideal pony?”

Drifting blushed and then lowered her eyes. “It's... it's kind of silly.”

“You've thought of this before?”

“Who hasn't?”

“Then go on, tell me. I won't judge, I promise. Besides, most ponies have an ideal partner, there is no fault in that.”

Drifting sighed. “Well... somepony... kind of like me. I mean, like... a little mix of both? I'd want them to be kind of... strong. And competitive. Somepony who could teach me, but at the same time protect me. Somepony who, when I was with them, I'd feel safe and secure, knowing no matter what we did, they'd never, ever hurt me. Even if they had a chance and I was helpless with them, I know they'd never hurt me. But somepony who wasn't afraid to beat me in things, so we could compete and... try against each other.” Her cheeks turned even redder. “Somepony who... wouldn't let others try to hurt me. Not... necessarily fight with them, but would at least try to pull us away from them. Who wouldn't... want to be around ponies who would say things to hurt me. But... I'd also want them to be soft. At least a little. I'd want them to like to dress up, with me. To help me when I can't figure out what to wear. Somepony who I could gossip with and we could play cute little games and watch adorable lil movies with and even snuggle up with stuffed animals together and be cute together.” She took a slow, deep breath. “But... more than anything, I want them to... love and care about me. To support me. To see me as a mare, even during all this. To... even... though I have so many flaws and mistakes, to have them still... want to be near me. Even when I fail. I... I don't care if they know I'm trans. So long as they... see me as a mare and treat me like one.”

“I see. Now, when you envision this perfect pony, what do you see? Male, female, neither?”

“I... don't know. I think a mare, but... if the perfect pony showed up, and they were a stallion, I think I'd try to make it work and could,” Drifting said, before sighing. “Well, I know one thing.”

“What?”

“It's... kind of shallow, but ummmm...”

“Yes?”

“They don't have a beard and they most DEFINITELY don't have a mustache. I know it's bad, but I just can't stand them they ick me out sooooo badly. I mean, could you imagine kissing a pony like that?”

Sole snickered. “You might want to try it sometime, the tickles can be quite pleasant.”

Drifting blushed so red she thought her head might burst into flame. She quickly looked down. “A-anyway. I uhhh... I don't know which I... want them to be. I don't even know if I want them to be either. To be honest, I like the... ideas behind them? I mean, ummm... like... romantically involved with a pony. Kissing, cuddling, snuggling, all that stuff. I used to love those things in romance novels. But... well... actual...” Her cheeks turned even redder. She didn't know how.

“This is a safe place, Drifting. You're safe here.”

“The... idea of actual... well, sex, seems boring to me. The stuff before and after seems fun! Like, the romance, the kissing, snuggling, even the games and stuff! I-I read the books, I-I know what goes on in there! M-my mom had a bunch of romance novels a-and I used to read them all the time!” Sole chuckled, but didn't respond. “But... in the... actual... full act? It doesn't seem that... appealing. It just seems like... a thing. And I don't know if I'm interested in it.”

Sole nodded. “Don't worry. You're still young, Drifting. You have your whole life ahead of you to discover what you like and who you like. It can take anypony years to discover who they are, so I wouldn't put too much worry into it. But, I imagine you have spent a lot of time thinking about it?”

“Mmm hmm... is that weird?”

“Not at all. You're in that stage of development where all things are still so exciting. Just be careful in whatever you do decide to do and you should be fine. And don't rush.”

“O-okay...” She chewed on her lower lip for a moment. “So... I uhhh... is... it wrong to break up with a pony if they can't... see me for what I am?”

“There is no wrong reason to break up with anypony. If the relationship won't work out, then it should be ended. What was the reason in this case?”

“She... wouldn't see me as a mare. I just... I couldn't handle that. She just saw me as a... as a stallion in a dress.”

Sole nodded. “If that meant that much to you, then yes. That was the right reason to break up with her.”

“But what if I wasn't so sensitive? What if I'd--”

“Let me stop you right there.”

“Huh?”

“If it meant that much to you, then it was the right reason. Your feelings do matter, just as much as hers do. If you needed her to accept you as that, but she was unable, then that is reason enough. You have no obligation to make yourself miserable to keep another pony happy, understand?”

Drifting nodded with a smile. “O-okay...”

“Good, anything else you'd like to talk about?” she asked with the nicest smile.

“You know, you're... much easier to talk to than Toughlove.”

“Who?”

“My old therapist. She... didn't approve of this. Of my... decisions.”

“Would you like to talk about her?”

Drifting shuddered and shook her head. “Not... not today.”

“Okay. Perhaps at a later time. Tell me, what do you want to talk about? What do you need to talk about?”

Drifting chewed on her lower lip. “You... said you've dealt with plenty of ponies like me, right?”

“Of course.”

“Ummm...” She poked her hooves together a little faster. “I uhhh... is it normal to... sometimes have doubts and just want to stop?”

“I'm sorry?”

“Well... just...” Drifting sighed. “I... don't talk to anyone about this. But... I... I really try to look strong and brave and confident and... and not put up with... anypony rejecting this. Rejecting me. But... but some mornings I just want to... I just want to give up on it. When ponies tell me I can't do it, or I can't... be this, I just want to toss off my dresses, maybe... put on a saddle or something. Walk around like a stallion, so ponies will stop staring at me, or making fun of me. Other times I... I look in the mirror and all I can see is the colt. No matter how much makeup I put on, even if I wear dresses, no matter what I do, I just feel like a colt. A big, ugly, stupid colt who's trying to hide who and what they really are. That no matter how hard I try, I'll never, ever be able to... be what I really want to be. Is that... normal?”

Sole nodded slowly. “Yes. Many ponies, when faced with hard ships and difficulties want to give up. If you decide to, that is your decision. But I would only advise it if you feel it would make you happier. If this is what you need to do, to stay happy, then my advice would be stay the course and keep going.” She paused. “But... you will need support. Ponies who will help you and still care for you despite your changes. You're going through a difficult, somewhat painful journey. While some can do it alone, it will be far easier if you have somepony.”

Drifting nodded. “I... have a few. I think. I know my sister is there for me.”

“Then that can make all the difference. Drifting, so long as you're sure that this is the path you want to take, then take it with pride. I think you make a very pretty young lady, so you look just fine.”

“Okay. So, ummmm... is it... weird to... I mean, sometimes, err... I worry I won't... pass. That people will identify me as a... guy. Is it weird to think that?”

“There will always be those who will think you're a guy. But you are a mare, so don't let those ponies change how you perceive yourself. For the most part, it's a confidence issue. I guarantee you, for everything about yourself that you think makes you seem masculine, there are hundreds, if not thousands or millions, of mares who have that same thing. At times you might seem like a more masculine mare, but you will be a mare.”

Drifting let out a soft sigh, a grin on her lips. “T-thanks. You... know what? I feel a lot better now. Honestly. I thought... well, I thought this was going to be really bad but...”

“I'm here to help, dear. It's my goal to help you achieve whatever makes you happiest.”

“Okay,” Drifting said with a content sigh. “So... can I talk with you about... anything?”

“Of course.”

“So... the new princess is really, really awesome. But... is it just me or is she a little...” She tapped her hoof to her chin. “Over... examinative? Or kinda... like... have you met her?”

Drifting hummed softly as she walked out of the building, a big grin on her face. She felt good. Confident. That had been a real mare and she'd called her a real mare too. And she was one, she knew she was.

Now all that remained was convincing her mother. She wondered if it would be okay to bring her to the castle. Ohhhh, maybe she could get the princess to write her a letter. Or drop a few crates of research on her head. That seemed a little bit cruel. She was sooooo going to do it. Maybe that'd teach her to at least listen to her daughter for once.

“Drifting?” a voice said, making her look up.

The mare froze in place. “B-Branding.”

The fire unicorn stared at her. “I... I haven't seen you at school, I--”

“I don't care. I don't want to talk to you. Just... just stay away from me,” Drifting said before turning away and walking the other way. She could go back home the long way.

“Wait!” Branding called out, her horn glowing as she grabbed the other mare's tail. “I-I'm sorry! I over reacted and--”

“I don't care,” Drifting said, as coldly as her voice could muster. “Stay away from me.”

“But... I'm sorry. I didn't--”

“It doesn't matter! I don't care if you're sorry! I don't care if you spend the next hundred years apologizing! I hate you and I never want to speak to you again! Just stay away from me!” Drifting screamed. She felt the grip on her tail release and she took her chance, galloping away.

Drifting stepped into her room, closing the door behind herself before collapsing back against it, closing her eyes.

She hated the mare. She hated her so much. Hated everything about her. But why did hatred hurt so much?

Chapter 11: Snog

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 12: Playing

Drifting shrieked as she ran through the castle halls, the sound of the angry guards pursuing her. “Buck buck buck buck!” she shrieked, little tears in her eyes. She could hear the angry buzz catching up on her when she turned a corner. She caught sight of Neon and her eyes widened, before she galloped forward. “Neon, fly!”

“What? Wait, Drifting, don't--” But it was too late, she tackle glomped him, sending them both flying out the window.

Aeon stared, before face hoofing. “Did... you forget that he's a donkey in this?”

Drifting blinked a few times and looked down at the tabletop, staring at her little unicorn figure who was supposed to represent her zebra princess. “O-oh. Oops. I-it's not my fault, his figures a pegasus, I keep forgetting!”

Neon sighed and face hoofed. “I knew I should have gone griffon. But seriously, the donkeys are just such great tanks. How much damage we taking?”

“Well, you're on the third floor. Five to Drifting since she lands on you. Neon, you take fifteen, falling and crushing damage.”

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!” Drifting said, bowing her head quickly. “I-I use my healing touch on him. That's uhhh.... ten damage healed. Sorry.”

Neon shook his head. “It's fine. Besides,” he said before posing dramatically. “It is a stallion's duty to protect such fair, beautiful maidens. Even if the only way to do it is to act as a landing cushion.”

Drifting gasped and stared, her hooves together. He was so amazing.

Aeon rolled her eyes. “Honey, dial it back a bit. Anyway, you soon hear the flutter of the changeling's wings and the sky is darkened as the hive bursts out of the windows, descending on you two.” She nodded. “And I think this is a good point to pause it. Not bad for a first session.”

Neon chuckled. “Next time just remember neither of us can fly, okay?”

Drifting blushed, poking her hooves together. “S-sorry. I just... sorry.”

“Hey, it's fine. We all make mistakes.”

Aeon nodded, chuckling. “I'm surprised you've never played a game like this. You really got into it when we were making your character.”

“Of course I did. You said I could make a princess. How could I NOT?” Drifting asked, before sighing and lowering her eyes. “I... actually like these kinds of games. Though I've... never really had a chance to play them.”

“Oh? Why?”

“Well... most of my friends weren't...” She sighed. “Me and my old friends never really had much of the same interests. Probably would have made fun of me for wanting to play the mare. I uhhh... you guys don't really mind that I went... I mean... I...”

“Wanted to play a princess? Not at all,” Neon said, before taking her hoof and placing a kiss to it. “My fair maiden, as your loyal bard, I will protect you until the day I die.”

Drifting's cheeks went so red that she swore there had to be steam coming out of her ears. “O-okay,” she squeaked.

Aeon just glared. “No trying to bang the princess. In or out of game,” she warned.

“What? You said you wanted me to make sure she felt like a woman,” Neon said smoothly, before leaning in, his wing moving out to be placed on her back. “Now, tell me,” he whispered softly into Drifting's ear. “Do you... feel like a woman?”

Drifting gave a weak, delicate squeak. Aeon rolled her eyes. “Neon, too much. If you're going to flirt, wait until she's at least able to resist it. I think she's going to explode.”

The stallion snickered before leaping over the table and landing besides his wife, giving her a little nuzzle. “Awwww, you know I'm just playing, my little angel. I'd never make her actually explode. Much.”

Aeon grinned and gave him a little kiss, her own cheeks red. She then looked to Drifting. “Hon? You okay?”

The mare yiped, shaking her head. “What? Oh, yes, errr, fine. I uhh, just, err, sorry. What'd you say?”

“That my husband needs to use his great powers on someone with higher resistances. So, did you have fun?”

“Yes, I did. Thank you very much for all of this,” Drifting said, nudging her little game piece around. “I uhhh... I never would have thought you were into this kind of stuff. I mean, being a royal guard and all.”

Aeon giggled. “Oh, please. Us royal guards are like the biggest nerds EVER. Most of our job is standing around, looking intimidating. The rest of it is sitting around, trying not to go mad out of boredom. Card games, board games, table top games, I guarantee you, if the game exists, there's a guard who has specialized in it.”

Drifting giggled. “Oh, sure, it--” She paused. “Wait, are you serious? But you're all so... all so... big! And tough!”

“Well, yeah. It's our job to be big and tough. That doesn't mean we can't have fun, too. Buck, I hear sometimes even the princesses join in on some of the games. Rumor has it that Princess Luna is an amazing Dress-up poker player.”

Drifting giggled softly, shaking her head. “Okay, now that I won't believe. But uhhh... that does seem kind of cool. Nice, even. I uhh...” She chewed on her lower lip. “You... don't... mind, do you? I mean--”

“No, we don't,” Neon said with a shrug. “Not gonna lie, it's a little... shocking. But hey, whatever makes you happy. Sorry about the whole...”

“I know. And I'm sorry I kind of...” Drifting sighed again. “Got... very defensive and mad. It's just... sometimes... I've met so many ponies who just won't... give me a chance, I just want to lash out and... thanks. For ummm... listening and stuff...” She poked her hooves together. “I'm sorry, I'm not really good at this.”

“Awwww, it's okay,” Aeon said before reaching out to pat her hooves. “You're doing fine. So, do you have any friends at your school?”

Drifting shuddered. “No. I... almost did, but well... it didn't work out.”

“What happened?”

“She burned my dress off me, leaving me standing naked in public, shamed and humiliated.”

Silence reigned over the room for a few long minutes as Aeon and Neon just shared looks. Finally, the latter coughed. “Well, onto less depressing matters. Now that you've got a feel for the game, think you'll be up to doing it later? We could probably add you to a larger game of ours we do with a few of the other guards. Once you've got the feel of it more.”

Drifting gulped. “I uhhh, I don't want to intrude.”

“Nonsense,” Aeon said with a shake of her head. “Besides, we're supposed to be guarding your room, more or less, so we get paid for it this way and we get to have fun.”

Drifting snickered before giving a nod. “Well, when you put it that way. They uhhh... you won't tell them about my... condition, will you?”

Aeon shook her head. “Nah, of course not. That's for you to tell ponies. Though, I should mention... wellll...” She coughed into her hoof. “Sometimes they can get kind of... crude.”

“Crude?”

“Oh yeah. Some of the girls like to, well... you blush easily. They will take advantage of that to torment you. A lot.”

Drifting squeaked. “T-that's... fine. I mean, a-as long as it's all in good fun, I guess I don't mind and just... errr... they won't... ummm...”

“Pull an Aeon? No, you're still technically a minor until you graduate. Well, I guess Poofy might, but she's a few years younger than you, so I'm really not sure how that'd work.”

Drifting nodded and gave a soft sigh. “Yeah. I know all about that. That's one of the annoyances with going to the higher prestige schools. They take so long to graduate, so we stay minors forever! I knew a girl in one of my classes, her little sister went into weather management and graduated years ago, so kept buying her alcohol and stuff. She was always soooo smug about it, too.”

Neon chuckled. “Yeah, it can get iffy and odd sometimes. Though could be worse. I hear in griffon lands, you're considered an adult the moment you hit a random age. Could you imagine?”

Drifting blinked and shuddered. She could think of a few students who she couldn't imagine being adults at ANY age. “Weird.” She looked down and then blushed. “So... ummm... just... thanks. For everything. Do uhhh... do you think we'll see each other again tomorrow?”

“Sure,” Aeon said before getting up. “Come on, we can help pick up before--”

“No, no, don't worry about it,” Drifting said before she got up as well. “You two were the guests. I'll clean up. Besides, it's late. I'm sure you guys probably wanna get home and get some sleep.”

“Are you sure?” Aeon asked. “It's really no--”

“I insist. Besides, there's not really that big a mess and I'm going to be up for a while. Go on.”

“Well, if you're sure,” the mare said before picking up her books in her magic and then turning around. “Come on, Neon.”

“Coming dear,” the stallion said with a nod, before grinning to Drifting. “See you later, princess.”

Drifting squeaked and blushed, looking down at the mess and quickly getting to work as the two walked out.

“So, that was a lot of fun, actually,” Neon said with a shrug once they were out and the door closed behind them.

“Yeah, sure is lucky you went out and made out with her last night,” Aeon said with just a hint of annoyance.

“Eh... heh heh... I-I really did think she was you. Maybe not as pretty, but I was drunk.”

Aeon glared at him as they walked, making him squirm. Then, finally, she relented and gave a sigh. “Yeah, I guess it's fine. She seems nice enough.”

“Yeah,” Neon said, before gulping. “So... the whole... I mean, do you think there's any truth behind it?”

“Hmm?”

“I mean, sure, she wants to be a mare. But... well...”

Aeon sighed. “I don't know. I honestly can't imagine why a pony would want to go through something like that. I can't imagine how the other children at her school must treat her. But... if this is what makes her happy, then I don't see any reason to try to bring it down. She's cute enough as a mare, anyway. If she hadn't told us... well, I wouldn't have believed it.”

Neon nodded. He glanced to her. “Soooo... there's probably something else we could do.”

“Hmmm? No more making out with her, dear. I'll forgive your little drunken mistake once, but only once.”

He chuckled and shook his head. “No, not that. Luna's little... well, the Dreamscape.”

“Oh? That game of hers? I... suppose that might work. But would she be a mare in it?”

“I don't know, maybe? We could talk to the princess, I'm sure she could set it up and make it so she was. Drifting's a unicorn, too, so it'd be easier to have her in it. Besides, even if it IS meant for training, we both know that's not all it's used for.”

Aeon snorted. “Oh, you mean that little adventure they had set up? Well, even if she's not a soldier, I'm sure the princess would probably be okay with it. So it couldn't hurt to try. Worst case scenario, we're rejected.” She frowned. “Do you think we should talk to the princess directly, or go through one of her maintainers?”

Neon hummed and tapped his chin. He then chuckled. “We should probably go through Twilight. She's obviously taken quite the interest in the mare, I'm sure having a princess requesting it might help.”

She frowned. “Are... you sure it's a good idea, though?”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“Well... it'd just be an escape, after all. Not real. What if she gets to the point she just... wants to live in it all the time? Shuts herself out of the real world to be in it?”

Neon frowned, before shaking his head. “Well... that can happen just about anywhere and in anything. Besides, she seems pretty... smart about this kind of stuff. She's getting therapy now too, right? And has one of the princesses looking out for her. I'm sure it'll be fine.”

Aeon nodded. “I guess. Well, we can send the princess a letter tomorrow. Now that we're assigned near the kid and all, maybe we'll meet her more often.” She gave a snicker. “Maybe she'll dump about five hundred pounds worth of paperwork on us, too.”

Neon shuddered. “Oh man. Did you see some of those stacks? They almost touched the roof.”

“Exactly. Truly this princess is one to be feared.”

Drifting sighed when she collapsed on her bed and closed her eyes. Today had been a pretty good day, actually. She felt pretty good, at least. She'd had a wonderful kiss the night before, made some actual friends who seemed okay with what she was. She'd even got to play that game with them, it had been so much fun.

She had always wanted to play games like that, but she'd never known anypony who played them. But now she had friends who did. She sighed and glanced towards her bags and the homework they held. “Well... buck,” she grumbled to herself before getting up and dragging them over to her desk. She had the time, she might as well bust some of it out.

She was midway through before she found herself giggling again. “Me, the princess' student. Ugh, could you imagine what a pony would have to go through as that? I mean... she's brilliant. You'd have to be super smart to not mess that up.”

Starlight yelped, looking up when she felt a shiver go down her spine. She looked around in confusion, before shrugging and looking back at her tome. She had no idea what Twilight's next test was going to be, but she'd be bucked if she was going to fail it.

Drifting sighed and pushed her books aside once her eyes started to get droopy. She folded her hooves in front of herself and laid her head down, giving a soft yawn. She found her mind brought back to Branding. She found herself... oddly not as mad as she had been before. She still didn't trust the mare, not in the slightest. But she couldn't find herself too upset or angry about it anymore. All her hatred had burned away and now she just felt empty.

Maybe it was time to forgive her. She doubted she'd be able to trust the mare again, but she wasn't sure she wanted to have that hovering over her for the next few years. What if something happened and she never got the chance? At least if she did it, it would all be over and done with. She could get it off her mind finally. She took a deep breath and got up, walking to her bed and collapsing on it. She wondered if she should ask the princess for advice about it. She was the Princess of Friendship after all, she'd have to know something about forgiveness. She shrugged and decided to write a letter tomorrow, before putting it out of her mind and focusing on what happened today.

As tired as she was, she couldn't stop smiling. It had been sooooo much fun. It hadn't taken her long at all to decide what she wanted to play. Once she realized there was a class that every other class protected AND could be a princess AND was still pretty useful, it had only taken a few seconds. She gave another little sqwee as she imagined herself, the adorable princess, running off on adventures, being protected and flirted with by majestic, rugged knights. Tending to their wounds, accepting their deep, passionate kis--

Her cheeks turned bright red and her eyes shot open. She quickly shut THAT line of thinking off, shaking her head and holding her cheeks. “No no no no, baaaaad Drifting,” she said with a little squeak, before pulling her covers tightly over herself.

Best of all, though, was the fact she had friends now. Not just friends, but ones who seemed... while not able to understand her, they were trying. They seemed to want to be around her. Even if she had been a tad pissy at first. They even ran this entire little game for her on the fly since it was getting so awkward and they had to do something. She sighed and wiggled a little more.

Even better than best, one of them was a pretty mare. She finally had a gal friend! Maybe it meant she could do all those things that gal friends did together. They could do each other's hooves, talk about... well, okay, she didn't even know if she liked colts and Aeon was married. They could talk about Neon. Who she swore was still the best kisser ever and she squirmed again, taking a slow, deep breath. She'd make sure not to talk about that with Aeon, again.

She couldn't wait until the next time they could hang out. She hoped it was after school. She pulled the blankets close and curled up into a ball, a big dopey grin on her face.

Drifting opened her eyes and stared into Twilight's face. She blinked, then screamed, flailing about and falling off the bed. “AHHH! What are you doing in here why are you here am I in trouble you scared me please don't banish me!”

“You made some friends!” the princess said happily before she skipped around the bed.

Drifting blinked a few times, still tangled up in the blanket and her heart hammering. She just stared and blinked, before looking towards the clock. She didn't have school for two hours, what time did this mare wake up? “Err... yes?”

“I knew you could do it! I got Aeon and Neon's letter yesterday!”

The mare blinked a few more times. “W-what?” Her heart began to fall. “They... wrote a letter about me? A-are they asking to... to be left alone?”

“What? No! It was a good letter! They wanted me to talk with Princess Luna about letting you come with them on a special training thing with them.”

The unicorn squeaked. “W-what? They w-want me to come with t-them on a trip?”

“Well, sorta. I mean, I hear the dreamscape can be a bit trippy, I haven't had the time to try it myself yet, but I'm sure it's positively delightful! But that's not important, you made a friend!” The alicorn's horn glowed and she lifted up the blanket, dumping Drifting out with a squeak before folding it up neatly. “This is a cause for celebration!”

“How... how long have you been up?” the unicorn asked, staring at the deranged princess.

“Oh, ever since I got the letter last night,” Twilight said with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Once I realized you finally came to the next part in your development, I just knew I had to come here and congratulate you.”

“Y-yay,” the unicorn said softly. “Errr... so... did you ever send my mom those papers?”

“Hmmm? Oh, of course. I sent her everything I could find, I imagine she is quite well informed by now.”

Drifting grinned as she imagined their house being filled to the brim with packages from the princess. Ah, sweet vengeance. “Wonderful. So... errr... it's just to congratulate me, right?”

“Well, I also figured we could get victory waffles! I tried to get Starlight to come too, but she threw her clock at me and yelled it was too early. I think she was up too late studying...” Twilight gave Drifting the biggest grin. “Soooo, tell me everything, how did you meet your newest friends?”

“... One of them came into my room and made out with me. With full kissing and tongue action.”

That jarred the princess, her cheeks going bright red. “They... they did... wait, b-both of them?”

“No, just Neon.” Drifting got to her hooves. Normally her make out sessions were not something she'd want to discuss with the princess, but being woken up at the crack of dawn by a hyperactive alicorn had a way of putting things in perspective. “And oh my gosh he was amazing. You should ask Aeon if she'll let you borrow him.”

The alicorn squeaked and shook her head. “N-no thanks. I, err, a-anyway. So, I have a number of fun activities I think the two of you should try.” Twilight's horn glowed and a scroll appeared besides her. She unrolled it and Drifting yiped when it spread across the floor, all the way to the opposite wall and then some. “I think trust exercises should be done first, I recommend trust falls. However, once the foundation of--”

“H-hold it,” Drifting said weakly, shaking her head.

“Hm?”

“Can... err... I take my shower first and get ready? Also... victory waffles do kind of sound good.”

“Oh, sure, I'll wait,” Twilight said before sitting at the hoof of the bed.

Drifting sighed and walked to the bathroom, locking the door behind herself.

Holy buck the princess was insane. Completely, utterly insane. And DRIFTING had somehow managed to become the target of her insanity. She couldn't imagine how this had happened.

Still, she couldn't help feeling a little flattered and thankful. As crazy as the princess was, if it wasn't for the mare's... brand of insanity, she'd have never met her two new friends. She wouldn't be going through proper therapy and having at least a shot at getting the transition she wanted. She also had an ally in this whole ordeal who her mom couldn't just flat out ignore AND who seemed to have a decent grasp on everything.

If a few early morning waffle breakfasts were the price of this, she'd be more than willing to pay it. As long as she didn't have to actually pay for them.

Oh, and it meant she got to meet RARITY! The most awesome mare who she wanted to be when she grew up. She gave a soft sigh when she finished adjusting her mane, before stepping out of the room and smiling to the princess. “I uhhh... I'm done.”

“Wonderful, you look good. Shall we?” Twilight asked.

Drifting blinked. Just good? “Oh, uhh, sure. Let's--” And almost instantly they were outside the castle and in the town, outside Pony Joe's. “Right. Princess. Teleportation.”

“Come along,” the princess said before trotting in.

Within a few moments the two were sitting across from each other and the princess just smiled at her. “So, has there been any other friends you managed to make?”

“Hm? Oh... uhhh...” She shuddered when she thought about Branding. “No. Not really.” She paused and glanced up to her. “Hey have... you ever...” She frowned. “Have you ever had a pony who... really hurt you and... well... didn't know if you could forgive them?”

Twilight blinked and slowly her eyes lowered. “A... few times. Discord, for one. I'll be completely honest, I still have a lot of trouble trusting and forgiving him after all the things he's done. Why?”

Drifting blinked a few times, then coughed. “O-oh. Right. Yeah. I guess... uhhh... you'd uhhh... have a lot more... bad ponies you knew, than I would. Heh. I guess... Branding doesn't feel so bad, in comparison to a chaotic spirit of... that.”

The alicorn blinked, then smiled. “Is there somepony who has hurt you a lot, then? This Branding?”

The unicorn nodded. “Uh... huh. I used to be really mad at her but... honestly, it feels like it's fading. But... when I did, it really... it hurt.”

“It hurt?”

“Uh huh. I felt this burning hatred in my very core towards her. Like... I really, really hated her. I wanted her to just go away and leave me alone forever. I wanted to never see her again. But now...”

“You miss her?”

“What? No. I just... I don't feel much of anything for her. I don't feel anger or hatred. I feel... disappointed. I was hoping we could have been good friends, that she could have been somepony very special to me. Maybe even my... special somepony. I feel... betrayed, though. In the end. Like she took my vulnerability and used it to stab me in the heart. All I feel now is... just sad. Betrayed and sad. How do you deal with somepony like that?”

Twilight blinked a few times and stared at her waffles. “I uhh... I'll give the best advice I can. I've met a few ponies who hurt me over the years, but in the end... well... I've found there's usually a reason for what they do. Usually. There was usually something driving them. Pushing them. A reason for their actions. I'd suggest you forgive her. Maybe try to find out what pushed her to do this. Do you have any idea why?”

“Well, she hurt me because... she didn't believe any of this about me. She thought I was... she thought it was just a kink. That it was some kind of fetish. So I kinda... broke it off with her. We were on a date and... I didn't want to... I couldn't stand the idea of being with somepony who couldn't see me as a mare. So I wanted to break it up early. She got... mad, and hurt me.”

Twilight nodded and looked thoughtful for a moment. She then nodded. “Well, ponies do sometimes do bad things in the heat of the moment. What she did was wrong, but that doesn't mean you can't forgive her. Maybe you two can actually become friends in the future, as well. Do you think you can?”

“I... don't know. Maybe. If she can... accept who I am. What I am.”

“Good. There may be a future for you two. A future of friendship. I've found that some of my greatest enemies have become great friends over time. Why, even Sunset and Starlight used to be the most... well, they were difficult ponies. But with time, effort and determination, they're now great friends. I know it might be hard, but I do believe in the long run making them friends is the best way to go. It might not always be easy but... well, it's worth it. It will likely require hard work from both of you, though.”

Drifting nodded, smiling. “Thanks, princess. I uhhh... I'll remember that. I... guess, who knows? Maybe there can be friendship in the future for us. But I don't think I'm ready for that. Right now... right now I think I just want to forgive her so I can get over this and heal.”

Twilight nodded. “Of course. You can't force it, but do make sure to consider it. Now... is she sorry for hurting you?”

“I... think so. At least, a little bit. She just...” She sighed again. “Yes.”

“Then I think you know what you need to do.”

She nodded, before taking a bite of her waffles. “Thanks.”

“Wonderful. Now, onto your new friends. I can probably get the observatory ready for this weekend and you could have a friendship building slumber party!”

Drifting blinked and opened her mouth to object, before pausing. “Slumber party?”

“Mmmm hm!”

“Do... you think we could do make overs?”

“Well, I don't see why not. I actually have the perfect book for the occasion and I can get all of the things you'll need. Flashlights, popcorn, make up, fruit, backup pillows for when some of them explode.”

The little mare nodded. “I uhhh... think that could actually be kind of... fun. If they're okay with it.”

“Wonderful! I'll have it all set up by this weekend. You'll get your letter in the mail.”

Drifting blinked a few times. “Letter? Err... o... kay... then?” She eyed the princess nervously.

“What's wrong?”

“Nothing, just thinking. I uhhh... thank you. For all of this. I uhh... I know you're busy and all, but uhhh... thank you for taking so much time out of your day to help me. With everything.”

Twilight nodded. “It's really no problem. Besides, this is what a princess is supposed to do. Help ponies. As long as we can get you some friends, it's all worth it!”

Drifting giggled into her hoof. “Well, thank you. I... think that's a distinct possibility now.” she nibbled her waffles a bit more, suddenly feeling not very hungry, though a tad tired. “I do have class soon. I should probably start getting ready.”

Twilight nodded. “Okay. Remember, if you need any more help, send me a letter at any time!”

The unicorn nodded. “Thank you, princess. I uhhh, I'll walk home. I could use the fresh air,” she said before getting to her hooves and slowly trotting out. She took a deep breath when she stepped outside.

Forgiving Branding wasn't going to be easy, she knew that. But the princess was right, it was something she needed to do. And maybe it was possible they could still be friends. Maybe.

Author's Note

Well, gonna be honest I've been a bit confused for a while on this story, not sure where to go. Amazingly, I now have an ending in mind(it's... well... a mix of good and bad. Not sure how people will feel about it). But getting to it is a bit difficult. So I've been thinking long and hard about what things to explore next and... well, I decided there was an obvious one that I had been ignoring. One that can be very pivotal right now, both in my real life and now that Drifting has friends.

Gaming!

I remember growing up, gaming was a HUGE thing for me, in fact playing online games(both just rp chats and mmos) was very important to me since it allowed me to play a girl without judgement. It was at the point where I now realize I was addicted, since it was the only way I could escape. I've been thinking about that a lot lately, even the decisions of what I played(namely, eventually settling on healer).

This is all like... self thoughts and stuff now, so feel free to ignore it. But since this is kind of... therapeutic writing, I'm going to use it as such.

I always like playing the support roles, healers, buffers, bottom support when I play mobas, etc. The main reason I think is because most people DON'T like playing those roles, they want to be the tough killing guy, so if I go healer I know people will want to play with me just due to how few of us there tend to be. It helps now that I've had so much practice I know what to do pretty well now, as well. But, I think there's another reason.

When playing a healer, your job is to be in the back line, you have people to protect you, to keep you safe. You're important and working hard to support the team, but you know they'll do everything they can to keep you safe. The more I think about it, that's the kind of person I want to one day have a relationship with. Someone who takes charge, who is tough and in the front, who I can support and help. I want to be besides them, to make them stronger, to give them what they need to push through the tough times. As you can tell, I've probably over thought this a bit.

But, onto games, they've always been a way to escape. However, as time has gone on, I've found I'm... quite bad at that these days. I tend to have trouble irl making friends, partially due to location, my extreme shyness when talking to new people, the fact I tend to have almost no hobbies aside from rping and writing and a few other factors that make irl friendships difficult to maintain. So I tend to try to seek more social aspects in my games. Unfortunately, I've found modern mmos tend to be a lot less social, especially if you're not able to dedicate much time to them(having a full time job and all). I also tend to have a lot of trouble actually talking to people, since my voice is still far from feminine. All it takes is one person mocking my voice and I tend to just kinda... break down and go all... bleh. Still though, I'm trying more often and working to put myself out there and socialize with people.

So uhhh, brings me to my last thing. Anyone know any good, trans friendly gaming groups, guilds, etcs in some fun mmos who'd like a new healer? Send me a mail or something. Sorry if this is kind of weird, I'm really not good at this.

Chapter 13: Slumber Party

Drifting took a low, weak breath before glancing up over her book, pretending not to notice Branding standing there about twenty feet away. Peering out from behind one of the book cases. In possibly the worst attempt at hiding she'd ever seen. She looked down at her book and sighed.

She could do this. She would do this. It was for her, not Branding, anyway. Besides, she didn't want to hate anymore. Hating hurt. She flipped the page and saw a little movement ahead of herself. She looked up and saw Branding making her way forward. The other mare stopped, as if she was approaching a easily startled bunny. She then gulped. “H-hey Drifting. I... err... I...”

“Yes?” Drifting asked, before closing her book and placing it on the desk.

“I uhh... I'm really sorry! I really, really, really am. I was just really mad and I over reacted and I'm so sorry!”

She gave a soft, deep sigh before nodding. “Okay, I forgive you.”

Branding looked shocked, her mouth falling open. She then gulped. “Wait, really?”

“Yes, I forgive you. I... I'm still hurt, but I don't hate you anymore. I just... I want to let it go, you know? I'm done being mad over it.”

Branding grinned and slid into the seat across from her. “Really? That's great! So, umm, wanna hang out this weekend?”

Drifting blinked and paled, shaking her head rapidly. “O-oh buck no!”

“W-what?”

“I... I think there's been a mistake,” she said with a shake of her head. “Branding, what happened... I forgive you. I'm not mad any more. But I do not trust you in the slightest. I don't feel safe around you, at all. In fact, if we weren't in a public place and the librarian wasn't over there, I wouldn't even be sitting here with you.”

Branding blinked, before her eyes narrowed. “What? But you said you forgave me. Was that just you bucking with me?”

“No, I do, but...” Drifting hugged herself. “You're... scary. I mean, you're a fire mage, for one. Last time you burned my dress off. What's to stop you from hurting me, next time?”

“I-I'd never do that!”

“Really? And if you just 'get mad' again? How... many times are you allowed to 'get mad' until I'm allowed to not want to be alone with you?”

“Listen, Drifting. I'm trying to be nice,” she snapped, slamming a hoof down on the table. She cringed when she was shushed by the librarian. “What do you want from me?”

Drifting gulped and took a slow breath. “You... I... I want you to...” She looked at the mare. “I want you to... get help.”

“Help?”

“See a therapist or... or something.”

“What? You're ridiculous! I don't need a therapist. One little outburst and you want me to see a therapist?”

“You stripped me naked in public. You literally burned off the clothes on my back because I wanted to just be friends. You hurt and humiliated me. If that's not an anger problem, if that's just the kind of pony you are, I don't want to be around you. I... I won't be around you.”

“Well, maybe I don't want to be your friend. I don't need somepony who's always bossing me around.”

Drifting blinked and perked up. “Wait, so you'll give up? That's great! So I'll see you around, okay?”

Branding blinked, her mouth falling open. “I... you... fine! Whatever!” she snapped, before turning and storming off.

Drifting let out a sigh of relief. Then cringed when she say the librarian glaring at her. She quickly looked down at her homework and prepared to get back to work.

Drifting groaned as she collapsed onto her bed.

Finally, it had been a tough couple of days, but the weekend was here. She had two whole days to get all of her homework done and then do whatever she wanted. She could--

There was a knock on her door. She groaned and slowly oozed out of her bed, before slinking across it. She swore, whoever it was better be normal and not light her on fire.

She opened the door to a very strange, very pink pony.

Who erupted a confetti cannon in her face, making her topple back with a shriek. She flailed her hooves helplessly in the air, confused and disoriented. She was under attack! Assassins! Fluffy pink assassins! With cannons. “Don't kill me!” she shrieked. She then realized the pink pony was jumping around her room, singing a song.

“-- and make sure nopony gets lit on fire hit with a smore truth or dare uncomfortably kisses the wrong colt eats too much cotton candy and gets sick in the trash can slumber partyyyyyyyy!” the mare cried, before standing on her back hooves, flinging more confetti into the air and standing over the prone mare, panting slightly.

Drifting just whimpered, her legs pulled tight to her body. “P-p-p-please don't h-hurt me...”

“What? Hurt you? I'm not going to hurt you, silly billy,” the pink mare said with a little giggle, before dropping an envelope on her stomach. “I'm here to invite you to Twilight's slumber party tomorrow, silly!”

Drifting blinked a few times and slowly opened the envelope. Sure enough, there was a letter. She couldn't help but admire how precise it was. Directions to the observatory, a date, time, who the invitation was from. But it didn't explain the scary pink pony in the slightest. “She uhhh... wanted you to give me this?”

“Uh huh! She said you'd need all the help in the world to make friends and she wanted to see if we could come! Rarity, Fluttershy and Applejack are busy, but Rainbow and I will be there! She said I should definitely come and meet you before hoof, so you have time to prepare!”

Drifting squeaked and gave a little nod. She kept watching the mare but... something was so off here. When the mare talked, she'd wiggle her hooves, or seemingly walk off, walk behind something, then appear behind something else that was across the room. She couldn't see the horn though. Truly the pink pony had to be the most amazing of mages. Like Twilight. She nodded slowly. “I uhhh... thanks. Rainbow?”

“Oh, and Starlight will be there, too! It's going to be her first slumber party, too! Well, at least with us. I don't know if she's had one before but it's going to be so awesome! We'll have pin the tail on the dragon and fruit punch pillow fights and smores and--”

The mare seemed to be stuck in some kind of loop, so Drifting slowly got to her hooves, nodding along with her. “Really. Uh huh. You don't say. Amazing. Peculiar. Wow. Cool. Much wow. Such passion,” she mumbled as she flipped open her book. “I... do have a lot of homework and--”

“Okie dokie lokie!” she said before giving Drifting a cupcake, inserting it directly into her mouth and somehow bypassing the lips and teeth. The mare's eyes bulged.

She coughed, hacked and swallowed. “P-please don't do that.”

“Sorry! Bye bye!” she said happily before galloping off.

Drifting gulped, squeaking softly. What had she gotten herself into?

Drifting took a nervous step forward and gently reached out to knock on the door of the observatory. “H-hello?” she called out softly.

The door opened and a light purple pony stared back at her. “Drifting?”

“Y-yes? Are, ummm, are you... Rainbow?”

The mare blinked, then shook her head with a light chuckle. “No, I'm Starlight Glimmer.” The door opened fully. “I'm Princess Twilight's student.”

Drifting blinked, then squeaked. “W-wait, you are? I-I'm so sorry, I didn't have anything to do with those rumors and--”

The other mare raised a hoof and shook her head. “Relax. I've heard about them, but Twilight hasn't. There's no need to bother her about it.” She then sighed. “Besides, there's no need to worry about a couple of rumors, okay? They're just silly ponies gossiping about whatever seems interesting at the time. Come on in, Twilight's been running herself ragged trying to get everything ready.”

Drifting sighed, trotting in and looking around. She then looked towards Starlight. “Can... I ask you a question?”

“Hmmm? Of course.”

“Do... you uhhhh... do you know why she's taken such an... interest in me?”

“Oh, guilt most likely.”

Drifting cringed. “O-oh. Because of what I... said and...”

“A little bit. But... well, you don't have many friends either, right?”

“Not really, no. I'm not really... good at it.”

“She doesn't allow that. She's... well, she likes to spread friendship where ever she goes.” Sunset blinked and lowered her gaze. “Even to ponies who don't deserve it.” She coughed into her hoof. “But, really, you're in no real danger. You'll probably get a few dozen lectures or so, but it's not so bad. You get used to it.”

“She filled up my room with notes. I think she knows more about my... condition than I know about my condition.” Drifting blinked. “Do, errrr, do you know about my condition?”

“Yes. She talked to me about it after your first meeting. She was a tad confused,” Starlight said with a shake of her head. “I've met a few ponies like you, but I'm not aware of all the inner workings. I'll be honest, I don't particularly care. If you say you're a mare, you're a mare. So you don't need to worry about me or anypony else being a danger to you.”

“O-oh,” Drifting said, before glancing over. “Is it uhhh... obvious? I mean that... I'm... not... a hundred percent?”

“Not at all. Perhaps if somepony went searching for it. But you look fine.” She then blinked. “Although, I must admit I did not expect to see you for a while. You're the first one here aside from those two.” She motioned towards Twilight and Pinkie who were setting up decorations.

Drifting shuddered. “The terrifying pink mare...”

“She's good, honest! She just takes a little getting used to. I am a little concerned she scared off your friends, though. She--”

There was a few heavy bangs on the door.

“Oh, that must be them.” She trotted to the door and pulled it open.

“Aw yeah everypony! Rainbow's here!” a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane yelled as she blurred in, circling the room once. She then landed in front of Drifting. “So, you're Twilight's new research project?”

“Rainbow!” Starlight hissed.

“Oh, I'm just kidding,” she said with a wave of her hoof. “So, are you?”

“Y-yes ma'am. I'm Drifting,” she squeaked softly, lowering to the ground as she stared up at the pony. She'd seen this kind of mare before. The way she stood, the tall, the muscle, the confidence. She was about to get stuffed into a locker, she knew it.

“Cool! Twilight said you're all into that girly stuff and if I had anything I wanted to give, should just toss it to you.” She then disappeared.

Moments later Drifting shrieked as a bag the size of a small wagon landed on her. A moment later two more bags landed on her. She whimpered.

“Rainbow! What in the world is all this?” Starlight shrieked. “Where did you get it from? Why do you have it?” Starlight asked.

“From Rarity, tons of stuff,” the pegasus said with a chuckle.

“A-a little... help... please...” Drifting begged.

“There must be ten tons here! Why did Rarity give you these?”

“Oh, don't be over dramatic, there aren't that many. Over the years Rarity has tried to get me into a LOT of different dresses, gowns and frankly things I don't care to wear.”

“F-feels like... m-more than ten t-tons...”

“And you kept them?”

“Well, yeah. She said I didn't have to wear them, but you can't just toss out a gift like that. She went to a lot of work and all that, it'd have been rude.”

“N-no help? O-okay... just... just gonna lay here... go into the light...”

Starlight shook her head, then blinked. “Wait a minute... you're REGIFTING THEM?”

“Well, yeah, I'm not ever going to wear them. There's LACE in there. A bucking maid outfit! Like, really? Does she even know me? I think I got just about everything but the gala outfits. Those were just cool enough to keep.”

“G-grandma? Is that y-you? Oh... I missed you. And Bun Buns! M-mommy and daddy told me you went off to a special bunny farm...”

“Rainbow, you can't just do that! It's rude!”

“What? I'm not going to wear them and he wants them, what do I care? See, he's happy.”

“She, Rainbow. And she's not--” Starlight blinked. “Drifting? DRIFTING!” The unicorn galloped around the bags towards the quickly conscious losing mare.

Drifting did not know what to make of Rainbow. On the one hoof, she had almost killed her, was most definitely a jock and therefore the most likely to beat the crud out of her or stuff her in a locker, kept calling her a he and ALMOST KILLED HER.

On the other hoof, dresses. And gowns. And night gowns. And cute little outfits. And soft adorable pillows. And long socks, the kind that only grown up mares in special magazines were supposed to wear. And lil stuffed animals. And casual wear. And hats.

It was a very, very, very tough decision to make, walking that fine line. She decided on, for now, passable acceptance. She hugged her newest stuffed teddy bear to her chest(it was that or wear one of the teddies, but she knew that could wait until she got home and wasn't in the company of a princess. Besides, it would have made things awkward.) “So, uhhh, you're Rainbow then?”

“Mmmm hmm. Rainbow Dash. But I'm sure you've heard of me. Newest member of the Wonderbolts?”

“Oh, that's the hoofball team from Manehatten, right?”

Rainbow's face contorted in horror, then looked to Starlight. “You... you didn't... p-put her up to this, did you?”

“What? No!” Starlight said quickly.

Drifting squeaked, hugging her teddy. “W-what? No, I-I'm sorry! I just don't keep up to date on the sports. Is it an archery team?”

“The flying teams,” Twilight offered helpfully.

“Ohhhh, the blue ponies with lightning on their flanks? I've seen them!” Drifting added helpfully. The look that washed over the pegasus' face made the unicorn cringe. “I-I mean... errr... they're nice? I mean, I wouldn't wanna fly around in outfits like that and wow I am not helping, am I?” She yelped as Starlight yanked her away from the blue pony who seemed to be smoking slightly.

“Let's go over here and make sure nothing is broken, shall we? Oh, your friends arrived while you were unconscious!” Starlight said as she quickly dragged the mare across the observatory. Neon and Aeon were sitting at a pair of chairs in the corner, away from the others. Aeon looked a little nervous. Neon looked dizzy, but that was likely because he seemed to be having a lot of fun in the spinning chair.

“I don't think anything is broken,” Drifting said softly. “It doesn't hurt to walk.”

“Heyyyyyy, Driftinggggg,” Neon said before falling out of the chair. “Cool party...”

“I''ll just leave you three here while I go make sure Rainbow doesn't try to kill you for that... earlier comment,” the mare said before quickly galloping back towards the other.

“She uhhh... she's exaggerating, right?” Drifting asked softly. Rainbow looked annoyed, but she didn't look too mad. She hoped. She then glanced to her friends. “So, ummm, why are you two over here? Why not with the others?”

“That's the princess and her friends. It's... a tiny bit intimidating,” Aeon said, poking her hooves together. “We... didn't really know what to say...”

“... Ask Twilight for a lecture. On anything,” Drifting said flatly. “Oh, I know!” the unicorn grinned. “Princess?” she called out.

Twilight glanced up. “Hmmm? Yes, Drifting?”

“Could you come here for a moment, please? My friends want to talk with you.”

Aeon eeped and waved her hooves frantically, shaking her head. “N-no need princess, I'm fine. We're fine. It's all fine. How are you?”

“Eeeoughhhh...” Neon said softly.

“Oh, it's no problem,” the princess said with a nod before trotting over. “What do you need?”

“Well, my friends have never been to a party before and they have no idea of the proper protocols,” Drifting said quickly. “Could you--”

“Can I?” the princess asked with an excited squeak before her horn flashed. A projector and screen appeared besides her. “Now, I have a short twenty minute presentation on the subject matter I'll be happy to show you. Pinkie helped me make it!”

Drifting grinned wickedly. She wondered if she was just a little evil?

“Also, since this is your first slumber party, Drifting, you should join in too!”

The smile vanished and somehow appeared on Aeon's face.

Drifting struggled to keep her eyes open as she leaned again Aeon, starring bleary eyed at the screen.

“And that is the proper ratio of cracker, marshmallow and chocolate,” Twilight said with a nod before clicking the projector off. “Any questions?”

“Who dah wah?” Neon asked from Aeon's other shoulder.

Aeon sighed and looked down at her two cling-ons. “I think we've all learned a very, very valuable lesson, princess. So, ummm, how about we try that truth or dare? Could you go get everypony ready?”

“Oh, yes!” Twilight said happily before galloping off.

Aeon glanced down at Drifting, who was snuggled up and hugging her new teddy. “That was a nasty little trick.”

“She's not so scary now, is she?”

“She's not the intimidating one. That'd be...” Aeon gulped. “Rainbow Dash.”

“Oh, lightning butt!” Drifting said with a little giggle.

“She is NOT lightning butt. Do you have any idea who she is? One of the most impressive Wonderbolts to ever join the organization. She's only a rookie, but they say she's bound to shatter just about all of their records. Not only that, a multi-time world savior. And she's not like the princess. For somepony like her, you need to be... cool.”

Drifting blinked a few times before looking up. “Oh my goodness. You're one of her fans, aren't you?”

“Aeon and I have done guard duty on EVERY Canterlot Wonderbolt show. We've even met a few of them. But actually hanging out at a party with THE Rainbow Dash? Why didn't you warn us?”

“I... didn't really know who she was?”

“How can you not have known?”

“I'm not really into sports. Especially ones I can't play myself.”

“Why?”

“Many, many reasons. Mostly because, well... it's boring to watch something and not do it yourself. I'm sure they're really good and all, and I can see why some ponies really enjoy it. But it's just not something I'd like. I'd be sooooo borrrrred watching,” she said with a little whine. She then glanced up. “So, why do you like them so much?”

“Well, Neon got me into them,” Aeon said before motioning to her husband. He snored gently on her shoulder. “And he even got a cute little outfit for himself and sometimes he wears it when we play--” She shut up quickly, her face going bright red. “Aaaaanyway, it's really cool. They are all kinds of flexible and Rainbow is one of the best. She even did the sonic rainboom! That move was thought to be absolutely impossible to do, but she did it. Only pony to ever perform it and, more importantly, she can apparently do it at will now. While flying UP! How awesome is that?”

“Pretty awesome?” Drifting said worriedly. “Is Neon going to be okay?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah. He'll be fine, he's never really been good at the whole... school thing. Oh, speaking of, how are your classes doing?”

“Mine? Pretty good. I'm passing and... well, I think I might have missed a few too many days. I'm catching up, though, and I don't intend to miss any more days.”

“Good, good. When's your next vacation?”

“A few weeks, why?”

“Well, Neon and I are working on something special for you. It should be ready by your vacation time. And no I won't tell you what it is, it's a surprise,” she said with a little smile.

“Awwww, come on. Please? Is it something cute?”

Aeon shook her head. “No. Besides, I think you've got enough cute for now,” the mare said before glancing to the bags, many of which had the cute spilling out. “Where did all those come from, anyway?”

“Rainbow. I will admit, she is pretty awesome. She just gave me those, didn't want to keep any of them!”

“... Those... are M-Miss Rainbows?” Aeon asked with a little squeak.

“Yeah. Apparently Miss Rarity made her a bunch of clothes and stuff, she never used any of it, but she felt bad just tossing it out. So she decided to give it to me! Isn't she awesome?”

“You... you have Rainbow's hoof-me-downs?” Aeon asked with a little squeak.

“Well, sorta. More just her box of stuff she felt guilty about trashing, but--”

Aeon squeaked, before giving her the filly eyes. “Drifting. I know we've only just become friends and all but I would be eternally in your debt. Do... do you think I could...?”

Drifting blinked, then her cheeks went red. “O-oh! Of course, when we ummm, t-take it all back, we can go through it, you guys can of course have some things. Y-you're my friends after all!” She then blinked. “Except the maid outfit. That's mine. Or anything too cute.”

“Oh, I already have one for Neon, don't worry,” Aeon said with a nod.

“Huh? Wuzzat? Maids?” Neon asked, sitting up.

“Nothing, dear.”

“Is he going to be okay?” Drifting asked.

“He'll wake up eventually. Probably. Going from super excited and nervous about meeting Rainbow to... a princess lecture was a bit much for him to handle.” She gave him a little kiss on the forehead. “He'll be fine, I'm sure.”

Drifting nodded, glancing over to the princess and her friends. She then looked back to Aeon and Neon. “So, errr, this surprise?”

“Told you, not until it's time. Now, come on. We've got some truth or dare to do, right? After that, I think you could use a proper make over.” Aeon paused. “Neon, look! Rainbow and me are wearing teddys!”

“Wait, what?” Neon asked, raising his head and then losing his balance, falling past Aeon with a squeak.

“It's time for truth or dare,” she said with a chuckle. “Come on.”

“Whatever you say,” he said with a light yawn, before sitting up.

Drifting smiled, trotting after them.

Drifting stared up at the roof, a big grin on her face. She held up her hooves, admiring the thin gloss over them. She had to admit, Neon had quite the steady hoof. She could hear the gentle snores from all around her... and the foghorn that was Rainbow from up above.

It really did feel like she'd had a slumber party. She knew, technically, it was just a sleep over. She'd had them before. But to her it was a slumber party, a real one. Like all mares had growing up. She gave a soft, content sigh and nestled up in her bed.

She felt happy and content. She knew she had more things she had to do, stuff to work on. But for now, she felt really happy and in a good place. She glanced over to Aeon and then the princess. A part of her wondered if, just maybe, all of this was possible. Maybe, with a bit of luck, she actually could convince her mother to be okay with everything.

How hard could it be?

Author's Note

Okay, it's been a looooong time since I've updated this story, but there's a good reason.
I completely lost it. Like, all of the energy that went into it, poofed. But... that's not necessarily bad.

When I started this story, I NEEDED Drifting. I needed a girl who could just... be a girl, who could stand up to the insults, the humiliations, the insults. I needed somepony who could be strong because, frankly, I wasn't. I felt I was being a fool, that I had all these feelings inside and I wanted them so bad, to be this cute little girl so bad, but it was just... impossible. But in the last few months... I've gotten better. So much better. I now am able to dress as my chosen gender at home, I've gone out once as it, I've been called ma'am quite a few times(even when presenting as a guy), and all in all I've been feeling amazing. I really feel in a much better place. But recently, when I started looking into finding some good transgender stories, I realized there are very slim pickings. I found a few decent ones, but the only truly good one I could find that was still going was Rain(which, by the way, is AMAZING.) It made me realize that I really should finish this story. If for no other reason than there might be some trans woman or trans man who needs this. Who needs a story like this. It might be a bit vain of me to think that, but I really hope this story can one day be some help to someone who has felt like I've felt.

And this is good news for Drifting. I... I think I want her to have a happy ending. Well, a happy-ish ending. Before... well... I AM still a writer and I am still evil, so her ending will still only be good from a certain point of view. But I feel it will make HER happy. Even if it won't make everyone else(Twilight will be PISSED! Let's see how many of you can figure that one out! :P) But I now know where I want this story to go, though I'm not sure how I want to get there.

But, all in all, my transition has been going well. Amazingly well. I've been doing a ton. I now DM for adventurer's league, where I just came out as trans and will be presenting female regularly starting soon. I also DM a sunday game where I always present female(though it's online, but hey.) My writing is going well, I've got TWO books out and will have the third out when the cover is finished. All in all, my life is going pretty good and I feel as if I'm really making progress to being the girl I want so desperately to be. Even if sometimes I feel lonely, depressed, sad, a failure, those feelings are getting less and less to the forefront. I might even try dating soon! Well, if anyone ever asks girl me out.

Also, about this chapter... I'll be completely honest. Growing up? I wanted a slumber party so bad. Not a sleep over. A slumber party. I wanted to play cute little games, do make overs, talk about girly things into the night. I know it's silly, but something like that had always meant the world to me. I'm still hopeful one day it might happen, even if it is a dumb little fantasy.

Chapter 14: Mom?!

"YOU BITCH!"

Drifting froze in place, her face paling as she looked over to the guard behind her, who had stood up and slammed her hooves down on the table. Goldwing had been a bit excitable so far, but this new outburst was something she hadn't seen before.

"You massive, evil, monstrous bitch! you didn't! Did you? Is she...?" Goldwing asked, pointing a hoof accusingly at Aeon.

The unicorn merely smirked and nodded.

"By Celestia's cutie mark! You... you're evil! You're the evilist bitch of a GM I've ever met!"

Drifting whimpered, moving back closer to the bat pony on her opposite side, the fear starting to rise. The mare look pissed and Drifting had no idea why, but it was something she'd done. Somehow. "I-I'm... I-I'm sor--"

"That's bucking brilliant! This is gonna be AWESOME!" Goldwing sat back down, roaring with laughter, a moment later the rest of the guards joined in.

Drifting just sat there, her eyes wide and frightened, looking between them. "W-what? What happened? W-what'd I do? I'm sorry..."

Goldwing looked over, a wide grin on her face. "Oh, right, newbie. Okay, so you wouldn't know. But my pony? Redwing, well, she's actually a thief. Grew up on the streets. However, when she was younger, she saw a princess get captured and, hey, she looked enough like her that she saw her opening. Claimed amnesia, been living with the royals ever since." She leaned in. "And guess just which princess you seem to be?"

Drifting blinked. Then the realization dawned on her. She paled and shook her head. "O-oh my gosh I'm so sorry I--”

"What are you sorry about? This is going to be AWESOME! She thought you were dead! Buck, EVERYPONY thought you were dead. The court is going to flip. Especially those that know about my girl's little secret."

Aeon laughed, shaking her head. "Ahem, so, as I was saying. The group opens the bars to the cage and finds Drifting's character inside the cell. Most of you realize almost instantly. This mare looks JUST LIKE Redwing. What do you do?"

“I flirt with the prisoner!” Neon said quickly.

“W-what?” Drifting asked with a squeak.

The rest of the group snickered. Goldwing rolled her eyes. “I shove the bard aside and go to examine the girl, a look of horror on my face and holding my sword out, ready if she tries anything. Are there any hints of her being a changeling?”

Drifting smiled and nodded. “I uhh... I thank my rescuers, though I back away from the girl with the sword. I also examine her a little as well.”

It had been almost two weeks since her sleep over and Drifting felt as if she was getting back into her groove. Aeon had done as she'd said and brought her into the game with the other guards. She still felt a little nervous, but she couldn't help feeling more relaxed as the night went on. They'd been nothing but kind to her since they met, if they could tell what she was they didn't say it.

School had been going well for her as well. Branding had been leaving her alone, if the mare felt bad or considered her words she didn't know. To be honest, she didn't care. Her therapy was going well, Sole really did get her. Her mother hadn't sent her any letters or threats, either. She really hoped whatever Twilight had done had stuck with her.

She'd also been working on what to tell her mom about hormonal treatment. Sole had been helping her with writing a letter and now that her grades were picking back up, she felt she might have a chance. A slim chance. She'd have to make sure Twilight signed the letter she'd send.

“Hey! Drifting!” a voice said, snapping her from her thoughts. She looked up to Aeon, who was staring at her.

“Huh?”

“The griffon picked you up. What do you do?”

“Oh, uhhh... errr... parley?” she said with a nervous squeak. There was a low groan from the table.

“Not the parley rules,” Neon said with a face hoof. “Worse than grappling...”

She gave a sheepish smile, though she couldn't help feeling a little happy as she reached for her dice.

“It was a lot of fun, Drifting,” Aeon said before she gave a little wink, her bags tossed over her back. “See you tomorrow, okay?”

“O-okay,” Drifting said with a small smile. “I... I had a lot of fun. I didn't do too bad, did I? I just--”

“You did fine,” Neon said with a chuckle. “Don't worry, we're all a good group of friends. Besides, Poofy liked you.”

Drifting blinked, then frowned. “Poofy was the one that sat on me and force fed me chips, right?”

“Hey, you did tell her you were on a diet,” Neon said solemnly. “She has made it her duty to make sure each and every one of us take the worst possible care of ourselves on game night.” He gave a nod.

“It's true. She is dedicated to her craft,” Aeon said, adding her own solemn nod. “Are all your classes going well?”

“Yeah. I'm getting everything back in order,” she said with a grin. “I can't wait until I graduate, though. Only a few more years!” She then gave another sigh. “At least this year is almost over.”

“Ahhh, buck up,” Aeon said with a grin. “Besides, I've got some good news. Princess Twilight said Princess Luna okayed your--”

“Mom?!” Drifting squeaked, her eyes going wide.

“Err... what? No, I was going to say she okayed--” Aeon paused at Drifting's frantic pointing. She then looked back and the two guards barely parted in time as Drifting's mother slammed into her, wrapping her in a tight embrace.

“Oh my little baby boy I'm so so so sorry I never thought... w-why didn't you tell me?” she asked, shaking.

“M-mom?” Drifting asked, struggling in the arms. “Err... I'm sorry? What did I do?” She tried to pull herself free to no avail.

“It's okay, mommy's here.”

Drifting squeaked as she was suddenly being rocked in the hug. Her cheeks burned bright and she glowered at the two guards who were struggling not to laugh. “A-a little privacy?!”

“R-right. Game's over, see you later!” Aeon said quickly, dragging Neon off as the stallion started to snort.

“M-mom, what's wrong?” Drifting asked before, finally, managing to squeeze out from her grasp and stumbling back. She shook her head. “You're acting funny.”

“I-I received dozens of packages from the princess last week.” A haunted look flashed over her mother's features. “Dozens. I was only able to go through some of them yesterday and... and I'm so sorry. I had no idea what you were going through.”

Drifting closed the door and looked around. There was still a big mess from the group she needed to pick up, but her mom took precedence. “How... much did you read?”

“Enough. Oh, darling. I'm so sorry you had to go through all this.” There was another hug, an even tighter one than the first.

Drifting groaned, closing her eyes and really wishing she knew how to teleport. She considered trying to transform into something small to escape, but she was too scared she'd be crushed. “I... thank you? So... you're...?”

“I wasn't sure what to do,” the mare said. “I just... I finally went to Toughlove today. I requested an emergency appointment to talk with her about the things I read.”

An icy chill went down Drifting's back.

“She suggested I take you out of here right now. That the princess enabling your behavior is... just going to make it worse.”

“Are we going back to this, mother? You promised me! You PROMISED! I-I meant what I said! If... if you can't accept--”

“I'm not taking you home,” her mother said quickly, shaking her head.

Drifting paused, staring up at her. “You're... not?”

“No. I... I realize that Toughlove... may not have been the best mare to talk with about these things. May not have been the right...” She closed her eyes. “The things I ready scared me, honey. They terrified me. I... I had no idea that ponies felt that way. That you felt this way. Why didn't you tell me?”

Drifting lowered her eyes. “I... I tried... you sent me to Toughlove...”

The mare sighed and slowly let her go. “I'm... I'm so sorry. I'm so, so, so sorry. I... I just wanted to protect you. But I made a mistake.”

“Really?” Drifting said softly. “You really... mean it?”

“I do... I just wish I had realized sooner. Can you ever forgive me?”

The mare slowly nodded. “Y-yeah. Yes. Mom... I... I can. I...” She chewed on her lower lip. It was now or never. “Mom. I... I want to... I...” She took a slow, deep breath. “I want to... I want to transition.”

“What?”

“I want to become a mare. I want to... take hormones and everything and--”

“No!” she shrieked, her eyes wide. “Why in Equestria would you even--”

“You just said--”

“You've been through a lot and I am so, so sorry I--”

“Don't,” Drifting said, digging her hoof into the ground.

“I'm... sorry?”

“Just... don't. Don't come and tell me how sorry you are, or how you want to make it up to me, or... or any of that. Then just cut me off and tell me you don't really mean it.”

“But Drifting--”

“No. You said no, that's fine.” Her eyes narrowed. “If you won't accept it, I'll find a way to do it myself. I don't need you to support me for this. I never needed it. I definitely never had it.” She knew she was being cruel, but right now she didn't care. Even as the pain flashed in her mother's eyes, a part of her reveled in it. Enjoyed it. Wanted to see how far she could twist that knife. She'd had the knife twisted in herself enough times. “I'm just... I'm done. I thought you understood. I thought after... after last time. I thought you'd realized this was real. That I'm your daughter. But I just... I can't keep doing this. It's just exhausting.” She turned and trotted to the table and began picking up the mess. “You come and feel bad, I smile and try to pretend everything is alright. That I'm doing fine. You try to 'help' me, but you never mean help. You mean 'cure' me. You hope that maybe if they give me some kind of pill or jam some needles in me or maybe just beat me up enough, I'll decide to man up. Well, that's not going to happen. Even if it could, I don't want that to happen. I'm happy being a mare. I'm going to take the hormones, one way or another. I'm going to try going as far as I can, even. The princess has even given me a bunch of information about how far I can go.” She shook her head. “And I want to go all the way.”

Her mother just stood there, chewing on her lower lip. Finally, after a few minutes, she gave a sigh and trotted to the bed, sitting down on it. “Drifting...”

“Don't.”

“No, Drifting. Let's... talk about this. Actually talk.”

“Mom, I don't want to do this. Your idea of talking is just... I tell you what I am, what I want, how I feel. And you shut me down and tell me I'm wrong, or silly, or just... no. I'm just... I'm just tired of it. I can't keep doing this,” Drifting finally said, turning away when she felt the tears start to build up. “I can't... I can't just let you keep hurting me! Do you have any idea what any of this feels like? How it feels to wake up every day looking in the mirror and hating what I see? How it feels to look down at myself and want to burst into tears because I feel I'll never be as cute as I feel I could have been? To wonder if every single pony that looks at me thinks I'm really a mare, or is disgusted or, even worse, planning to find a way to hurt me because of what I am? I'm just... I'm just done. I'm done arguing with you. I'm done fighting with you. You said no, fine. I'll find another way.”

“Drifting...”

“NO!” she shrieked, glaring back at her mother with tears in her eyes. “I'm just... I'm tired of it! I'm not letting you change my mind. I'm not letting you control me! I'll find my own way to do it so just... just go home!”

The mare stared at her for a long while before lowering her eyes. “Is... is this really how you feel? Is this really what you want?”

“Of course it's what I want! I've been telling you for years! It's not just going to go away because you ignore it! Don't you think I've tried that? This makes me happy and I'll do it with, or without your help!”

Her mother lowered her eyes. “Drifting... I...” She closed her eyes. “If... if you really feel this strongly about it... I... won't stop you.” She paused. “I'll... okay it.”

Drifting paused. Then, weakly, she spoke up. “Wait... really?”

“Yes. I just... I just want you to be happy. That's all I ever wanted. If for that to happen you need... those, then I'll okay it. I just--” She let out a yelp when she was suddenly hugged.

“Oh thank you mommy thank you thank you so much thank you!” Drifting shrieked, little tears in her eyes flowing freely. “I-I wasn't sure how I was going to do it I mean I was sure I could somehow but I didn't know how it worked without permission and thank you so much thank you!”

The elder mare smiled and hugged her tightly, gently rubbing her back. “I know, I know. I... I don't want you to be alone in this. I don't want you to feel alone. Ever. I'll... I'll support you.” She paused. “I don't like it. I really don't. But you're still my little... baby and I will never make you go through any of this alone. I'll help you, I promise.”

Drifting nodded and closed her eyes. “T-thank you... mommy. I... I just...” She gulped. “How... much of what Twilight sent did you read?”

“Not even a fraction. How many months has she been preparing all that?”

“Oh... I'm sure a while,” Drifting said nervously. Unwilling to admit that the alicorn had probably only prepared it a few days before sending it all. Maybe even a few hours. The princess was a little terrifying. She was thankful she wasn't a teacher.

“I thought somepony had shipped a full front room set to us by mistake. I can't even begin to imagine the cost of shipping all those boxes. Has... she really been helping you?”

“Oh, yeah. She's great. Terrifying at times, but great. She's really worked hard to... well, understand all this.”

“Good. Good. I'm... happy you're not alone in all this,” her mother said with a small smile. She then looked to the table and frowned. “Who were all those ponies with you?”

“Oh, game night. We were playing some board games.” She tossed some chip wrappers in the trash. “They're a bit weird, but a lot of fun.” She glanced out the window. “I... have class in the morning so I was just going to clean this up and go to bed. I uhhh... I'll take the floor, okay?”

“What? No, honey, there's no need for--”

“I insist. Besides, you're a guest here now. The floor is carpeted so it'll be fine.”

She sighed and gave a nod. “Well... I suppose it'll be fine.”

“Good,” Drifting said before going back to clean up, though after a few moments her mom joined her. Soon the mess was cleaned up and she was able to brush her teeth and get ready for bed. She couldn't believe it, she was going to be able to get her hormones. She was going to be able to get everything! She could barely hold her tooth brush in her magic she was so excited. Tomorrow was going to be the best day EVER!

Drifting was awoken by a blood curdling scream.

“AWAKEN YOUNG DRIFTING! For we have come to speak of great BUSINESS WITH YOU! Cease thy's SCREAMING!” a voice boomed through the room.

Drifting looked up and saw a dark blue alicorn, Princess Luna, standing over her terrified mother. “The... buck?”

Author's Note

I came so close to having her mom say no. But... no. I realized it wouldn't fit. Not after last time. Her mom's first reaction may be saying no but... well, she came close to losing her once. I can't see her taking the risk a second time.
But yeah, I could honestly probably write a whollllllle story about these dnd characters. I won't, cause I doubt anyone wants to read that. But i definitely could. The thief who takes the place of a noble is actually one of mine, my rogue/bard character, or factotum in 3.5. The concept has actually been a lot of fun, though I've only been able to use it in one one-shot. Though I probably like it so much because she's trans(a guy who took the place of a girl in her story) and just a delight to play.
So, this story is almost done. I realized, well... there's only a little more I want to have happen in it. And right now I kinda need a win, so I'm going to try and get it finished. I might write a second story about Drifting, though. But likely not until Twilight Glow is finished. This story really did help with my therapy, after all. As always, thanks for reading!

Chapter 15: Rude awakening

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 16: Dreamscape

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Chapter 17: Echoes

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.

Chapter 18: Wish

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Chapter 19: Patience

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Chapter 20: Costs

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Chapter 21: Oath

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Chapter 3: Makeover and made-uptoher

Twilight took a deep breath as she stood outside the door to Drifting's room. Last time they hadn't left under the… best terms. She wouldn't be surprised if h-- she slammed the door in her face. It would probably serve her right. But she had obviously hurt the mare, and she couldn't just let this stand. She gently reached out and knocked on the door.

There was no answer. She tried again after a few moments. Then, on the third attempt she heard a soft voice. “Who is it?”

“It's me, Princess Twilight, I—”

“Go away!”

The alicorn gave a sigh. Well, she expected that. Deserved it, probably. “I came to apologize. I… uhhh… I brought a gift.”

“I don't want it!”

The princess hummed, looking at the three little pieces of paper. She then slowly slid them under the door. “Here. You don't have to--”

They were shoved right back out. “I don't want anything from...” The voice stopped. “Did… those have… were those from the Canterlot Boutique?”

Twilight grinned and slid them right back under. “Yes.”

There was a long, long pause. Then slowly, the door creaked open. Twilight couldn't believe it, bribery worked! The mare stared at her from the other side. “They… aren't fake, are they?”

“No, of course not. The owner is a personal friend of mine and she has apparently dealt with plenty of situations like this. May I come in?”

The stall-- mare looked thoughtful for a moment, before pulling back and letting her in. Twilight stepped in and let out a sigh of relief. Phase one of apology, complete, not getting the door slammed in her face. She smiled at Drifting and… tried not to frown.

Now that she knew, she couldn't help noticing. The dress didn't fit right at all, the make up was just horribly done, her body was a bit stallionish and not to mention her face, it was a little softer but definitely a stallions. How did she possibly miss this? She--

She face hoofed. Ten seconds in and already she was over analyzing everything. If she says she's a mare, then she's a mare. Weird or not, she hurt the pony and she couldn't stand for that..Twilight took a deep breath.

“Um… are… are you okay? Princess?” Drifting asked softly, before looking down. “I'm sorry I… kicked you out. That's… err… that's… not a crime, is it?”

Twilight stared for a few moments. Now that she thought about it, it might possibly be a crime. “No, not at all. I deserved it.” But buck her if she was going to press charges. “Can we talk?”

“I… I guess. You aren't going to try and… fix me, are you?”

“No! No no, no,” Twilight said quickly. “I… actually talked to a few ponies. About your… condition. I'm sorry, it was just a bit shocking.”

“Yeah, shocked me a lot when I found out, too,” she said darkly.

“If… umm… you don't mind me… asking. How did you find out about… I mean… what made you decide this?”

Drifting gave a sigh, the sigh of a pony who had explained something ten thousand times already, but was going to have to do it again. Many of Twilight's past projects were often connected with that sigh. “I was depressed. Parents sent me to therapist. Helped me figure it all out. The end. Happily ever after,” she said a tad bitterly.

Twilight cringed. “I… I'm sure there's more to it than that. But if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to! I just… I'd… like to know.”

Drifting glanced down to the small vouchers from the boutique. Once again, bribery won her over. “I… I was depressed a lot, growing up. I hid it, but… my parents eventually noticed when my grades started to fall. I… saw a therapist for a while and she helped me… find out what I wanted.” She closed her eyes. “It… it didn't make sense at first, but after a bit, it all did. How I felt, why I couldn't look myself in the mirror, why I hated… everything about me.”

“And… and you're still seeing this therapist?” Twilight made a mental note to talk with this mare. Surely she'd have some answers.

“No. The moment my parents found out, they found me a new one.”

“Oh. And… your second one?”

“Told me what I was feeling was wrong, that if I kept on this path, I'd just end up alienating myself and everypony around me, ruin my life and cause trouble for everypony I knew.” She glanced towards the door. “Guess she was right.”

Twilight's eyes widened. “I… I'm sure she didn't… say it like that.”

“She might as well have,” Drifting said weakly, giving another shudder. “I… I tried being fixed, r-really, I did. I tried to be a colt. To… to make everypony happy. I was just miserable and hated myself a-and wanted to die!” She gave another little sniffle. “E-everypony was still mad, though. T-the others always picked on me, mom and dad were mad my grades were failing, I… I finally just decided if they were going to hate me anyway, I might as well be what I want to be.”

The alicorn nodded and reached out, putting a wing over the mare. “For what it's worth, I think you're a very pretty mare.”

The mare looked up, giving a little sniffle. “R-really?”

Twilight gave a nod. Maybe it was the tears, but she was really starting to see that mare in there. Or maybe she just felt so bad. “So… your parents are okay with this?”

“Ha!” Drifting said, before blushing. “S-sorry princess. I-I didn't mean to… to be rude.”

“No, no, go ahead. Please, tell me.”

“They… don't like this at all. They say stallions should be stallions and...” She glanced to the dresses. “B-but we made a deal. They said if I got my grades up and… and got into this school, they'd let me dress however I like. For every A I get, they give me bits I can use to buy dresses and things. Not… a lot, b-but some of the other girls sell me theirs, cheap. So…. I get some things.”

Twilight glanced to the make up cases by the window. There were a lot of them, but all of different shades and brands. She then looked at the mare before her. The princess had only learned the bare minimum of make up application from her mother, but even she knew that half of those were probably useless for the mare. She must have been desperate.

“And… so long as I keep going to therapy, they honor the deal.”

“I… I see. And this therapist?”

“He's trying to fix me. It's just… there's nothing wrong with me,” she said with another whimper. “I was just… I was just born in the wrong body and… and I thought...” Tears started to well up in her eyes. “W-w-when I r-read that book, I-I thought you had a spell to t-turn somepony into… into that a-and i-if I learned it I-I could fix everything a-and nopony would hate me anymore!”

Twilight pulled the mare into another tight hug. “I'm sorry, Drifting. I really, truly am. But… there isn't a spell for that.”

“There should be!”

“Transformation spells like that are… well… I… could turn you into a breezie? It only works during the breezie season, though.”

“I-I already know t-that spell,” she said with a soft whimper. “B-but I don't wanna b-be a breezie, I-I wanna be a mare! I am a mare! I am I am I am I am!”

“I know, I know,” Twilight said as soothingly as she could. She gently patted the mare on the back as she worked, trying her best to comfort the girl. Once the was finally all cried out, she smiled down at her. “Listen. Do you think you can come down to the Canterlot Boutique this weekend? My friend will be there and I can guarantee, she will personally make you whatever dress you want.”

“A-any?”

“Any.”

“… E-even the p-princess dress?”

Twilight blinked a few times. Oh, she would owe Rarity soooo many favors. “Yes. Even the princess dress. You heard about that one?”

“U-uh huh… I… I saw it and ummm… it's how I recognized… you.”

Twilight paused and tried to process that. Multiple time savior of the whole country, newest princess, her castle only a few miles out of the city, not to mention she had her picture in a few places in the school. And yet she is identified for modeling a dress. “I… see. Yes, whatever you like. Okay?”

“O-okay. I'll… I'll be there. I promise.”

“Good. I'll meet you there as well, okay? Princess' promise. And we can't break our promises.”

“Really?”

“Really really. So… just… try to be brave, okay? I'll see you then.” She slowly pulled back and gave the mare a smile.

Drifting nodded, smiling up at her. “O-okay. I'll be… I'll be good, I promise.”

Twilight nodded and then headed out the door, before making another sigh. She still didn't know what was going on, but the mare seemed happier at least. Which meant she could feel slightly less guilty for what she'd done. Slightly. Now came the fun part.

Convincing Rarity to remake the princess dress. Well, bribery had worked on Drifting, maybe it would work on Rarity, too. So to Sugarcube Corner she'd go!

Twilight sighed as she say in one of the chairs of the Canterlot Boutique. Cake bribery had not worked. Neither had bits. Instead, she'd had to use… favors. Nothing too difficult, of course, she'd just had to help around the boutique as Rarity worked on a rush order for some clients of hers. It had, sadly, taken up a lot more time than she'd wanted.

Still, it was just a few days and after she got the little stall-- mare these dresses, her conscience would be clear and she could move on. The boutique would open in a few minutes, though she didn't expect to see Drifting for a few hours yet. It was still early morning and she couldn't imagine anypony wanting to be up at this hour.

Still, she'd helped as much as she could with the opening preparations, now Sassy and Rarity were just doing final touches before uncovering the windows and opening the doors.

As soon as they were unlocked, a light jingle hit the air as they opened. Drifting stood in the doorway, pausing halfway in as every eye turned to her. Twilight couldn't believe it, what student wanted to get up at this hour? The mare was also shaking a little bit.

Wait, had she been out there waiting for the store to open? How long? It wasn't freezing outside, but it was still cold. She got to her hooves. “Drifting, you came!”

The mare looked so startled she nearly bolted out the door, turning around.

“W-wait!” Twilight called out.

Drifting paused, shuddered, and slowly turned back around. She looked like a mess. Her hair was a bit wild from the wind, her make up was just… no. And she was wearing a red, gemmed dress that was… two sizes too big in some places, and a size too small in others. Still, she was here, that was the important thing.

Rarity smiled as she moved forward. “Ah. You must be Drifting Petal, yes? Please, come with me. Don't worry, child. I've dealt with plenty of ponies with your sense of Dysphoria, there is nothing to be worried or embarrassed about. You're a perfectly lovely lady.”

The alicorn blinked a few times. “Dysphoria?”

“Yes. It's the clinical term,” Sassy said calmly.

Twilight tilted her head. "Huh. When you use the clinical terms, it sounds familiar. I think...I think I remember reading about it? A bit. Apparently its caused by sexual abuse or moderate sociopathy, at least according to Sigmare Frid, and can be cured via electro-shock therapy or… or... uh..."

She noted the look Rarity was giving her, and Sassy's wide eyes and shocked expression. Not to mention the look of terror on Drifting's face, who was only not fleeing for her life because Rarity had a firm grip over her withers.

"Or...uh. I'm...going to shut up now."

“P-please don't… electro-shock me...” Drifting said softly, tears starting to well up in her eyes.

"Drifting, darling? Please don't cry,” Rarity said quickly. “Twilight didn't mean that. She may be a princess, but she is still simply dreadful in social interactions. I promise, she was just reciting some dusty old book from memory. She would never conceive of actually doing that to some pony. Oh, my." Rarity herded her up to the little dais she worked all of her clients on with skill and strength that would have astonished Applejack. Circling the mare, she looked her up and down. "I see you're wearing one of mine from...hmm. That was the spring selection a few years back, yes? It goes wonderfully with your hair, darling. Now, now, now… let us see."

She whipped her tape measure out with a crack, grinning. "You have an astonishing natural beauty dear. lets just see how best to… accentuate it."

Drifting, for a split second, looked like she might try to flee again, Rarity Originals or no. Especially when the fashionista's horn lit up, and she felt the dress sliding free.

"No worries dear, I'll alter this before I begin working on your pieces so it fits better,” Rarity said in a soothing, docile tone. “It shouldn't take but a minute or three once I have your measurements." She hummed, walking around her again. "Now, please stand straight darling. Oh, you have a simply lovely coat. What product do you use?"

"Pro... duct?" She'd ask softly with a wince. "I-I just get shampoo... the... school supplies it..." She lowered her eyes and shuffled her hooves. Her mane was a bit... ragged. It was obvious she let it grow and brushed it, but had none of the proper care used on it. Even Twilight could see that.

Rarity was behind her, so she didn't see the wince. "Well, I'll send you home with some of mine, and some recommendations." She hummed. "Perhaps, when we're done here, you could use a visit to the local spa? As tense as you are, I believe you could use such a trip.”

Drifting's face turned bright red. "I-I can't... really, afford a spa trip. I-I'm sorry, I--"

"Nonsense," Sassy said quickly. "That is one of the benefits of having a princess act like a total cad to you. It means she will likely hoof the bill."

Twilight face hoofed. Well, she wasn't wrong, but still, did she have to be so blunt?

“Hmmm...” Rarity rubbed her chin, before holding out the measuring tape to Sassy. “Would you?”

“Of course,” the other unicorn said before moving besides the frightened mare.

Rarity then grabbed a small white hoofkerchief and began to wipe the face of the startled mare. “S-stop...” Drifting said weakly.

“Oh darling, do hold still. I am a professional, I know what I'm doing.”

The mare gave a little whimper, but didn't fight. Twilight couldn't help but feel even worse for the poor mare now, she looked like she might start bawling at any moment.

“There. You do have a nice beauty, darling. You shouldn't put so much on, hiding that pretty face,” Rarity said with a little coo, before her horn glowed and she grabbed a small makeup case from the counter. “Of course, all of us girls do like a little help, no? How about we do this proper. I think I can probably help with your mane as well, dear.”

“O-okay...” Drifting said weakly. She was too frightened to move as the older mare began applying the make up. She trembled a bit as her eyes began to water.

“Oh dear. Whatever is the matter?” Rarity asked softly.

“I-I'm sorry I don't... I don't k-know how to... to do any of this--”

“Nonsense,” Rarity said, cutting her off. “Plenty of mares don't know how to properly style their manes or apply their own make up. It can be difficult even for the best of us.”

Drifting nodded and gave a little nod. “T-thank... thank you.”

“Truly, shame on your mother for not teaching you such things,” the mare tutted as she softly applied a thin layer of blush. “A young woman such as yourself shouldn't have to depend on strangers to teach her.”

Drifting cringed. “Mother... doesn't... approve...” Her eyes wandered to Twilight and she chewed on her lower lip a little.

The fashionista hummed for a moment, before smiling. “Twilight, dear, could you go into the back and grab a round, little red box? I think it would suit her perfectly. Only about the size of your hoof.”

“Huh? Oh, sure,” Twilight said before hopping up and trotting out.

The moment she was gone, Drifting let out a sigh of relief. “S-she wouldn't really try to have me put through electro-shock therapy, would she? I-I mean, she's a princess, I-I know she can if she wants to and--”

“Hush. Twilight would never, ever do such a thing to somepony. She just... has much too much book smarts and not always social smarts. I assure you, you're in no danger.”

“O-okay.” For a few moments there was silence, then she gulped. “And... and she won't... tell my parents, will she? That it can be... cured? Like that?”

Sassy and Rarity shared a concerned look. “It cannot be cured like that, for one,” Rarity said quickly. “And I will have a talk with the princess. But surely your parents wouldn't permit such a thing.”

“They wanted to send me away to one of those... fixing camps... when they found out.”

Rarity managed to turn paler. “I... I see. I will have a long, long talk with the princess. I assure you. Besides, you don't need to worry about those. Camps such as those have... long been outlawed. I do believe the last went through a... scorched earth phase once the princess found out what they did there.”

Drifting gave a soft giggle. “I-I read about that in the paper. Did... the princess really--”

“I do believe so. Princess Celestia is very protective of children, or so I hear,” Rarity said with a hum. “You have a darling giggle, child. You should use it more often.”

She blushed. “I-it's not... good. My voice is too deep and--”

“You're young, it will strengthen with time and use. Just practice, practice, practice.” Rarity said with a nod. “Now then, are the measurements done?”

“Yes, Miss Rarity. She's as fit as a button.”

“Good, now how about we finish the alterations before we work on your next gown, shall we?”

“P-please,” Drifting said softly as she kept her eyes lowered, unknowingly beginning to lower herself down to the ground, hiding as best she could while they worked. Without the dress, she felt naked and helpless and it was all she could do not to run and hide. But within a few minutes the dress was back on her as Rarity stood over her, smiling.

“There. I do hope you didn't catch a chill, child,” Rarity said before trotting off and humming softly as she looked over a few pieces of paper, finally pulling one out and handing it to Sassy. “Can you ready this one?”

The assistant nodded. “Of course.” She then trotted to the back room.

Drifting sighed as she eyed the mare, her cheeks a little red. She knew if she... she knew she wanted to be a mare like that, one day. Quick, smart, talented, smooth as silk. She doubted the mare ever had a non-graceful moment in her life. She probably could walk through a rainstorm without getting a single hair out of place.

“Rarity, I think I found about twenty boxes that suited your description,” Twilight said flatly as she walked out, a dozen little red boxes held in her magic. “Are these it, or do you need me to get one of the others?”

Rarity hummed before taking one. “No, this one will do. Now, how about we get to work, shall we?” She trotted over to Drifting and hovered over a brush and a pair of scissors, making the mare recoil. “Easy, easy. I'm a professional. Trust me, darling, I know what I'm doing.”

Drifting gave a frightened look to Rarity, but the mare only stared back with that soft, soothing gaze of hers. Slowly she moved back into position and closed her eyes. She soon felt the gently brushing and the snip snipping. She couldn't open her eyes, no matter how much she willed herself to. She was terrified and felt like she was going to be sick. The mare seemed nice enough, but she was still friends with the princess. She didn't want to think this was all some sick, elaborate trap, but she couldn't help but feel it was. Maybe a plan of her parent's to try to 'fix' her again.

It took her a few moments to realize she was being a bit too neurotic. While she wouldn't put it past her parents, there was no way they could get a princess involved. Which meant that was how one of the rulers of the country actually was. That brought another shudder.

Finally, the sounds and feelings stopped. “Okay, darling. Open your eyes.”

Drifting did and stared into the mirror held in front of her. She felt tears welling up in her eyes again as the mare stared back at her. A real mare. The makeup was perfect, accentuating her more delicate features. Her hair was gently trimmed, but still long, with an adorable little pink ribbon going through it and tying into a little bow at the top of her head. The red dress fit her form perfectly and... she was pretty sure had a bit of padding in some places, but she didn't care. She stared at herself, not even flinching as Rarity dabbed at her eyes with a hoofkerchief. “Careful, dear. You don't want to make your makeup run.”

“S-sorry.”

“Now, how about you go sit with Twilight while Sassy and I work on your first dress.” She turned and gave the princess a little smile before trotting over. “Do be gentle.” She leaned in and whispered. “And that little glow in the child's eyes? That's why it's worth getting through the initial bit of confusion.”

“R-right,” the princess said quickly. “No fixing, I swear,” she whispered back.

Twilight shuffled her hooves a bit nervously, before glancing over to the mare. It had been about ten minutes and the two hadn't managed to say a single word. She finally took a deep breath. “I'm sorry for what I said before. I swear I won't try to put you through... anything like that. No electro-shock. Princess' honor.”

“Thank you,” Drifting said gently. “And... thank... you for this. All of this.”

“It's no problem, really. It's mostly Rarity, anyway. She's... much better at this than I am.”

Once again the two sat there, awkwardly shuffling. Finally, Drifting spoke up again. “I'm sorry... I don't... I don't mean to be such a freak.”

“It's fine, really. You have your reasons,” Twilight said with a shrug, before cringing. “I-I mean, you're not a freak!”

Drifting lowered her eyes. “Didn't you ever... feel like...” She paused. “Did you ever want to be a stallion?”

Twilight shook her head. “Of course not. Well, there was this one time when I was a little filly, but that was more because I wanted to be like my big brother. I like being a mare, I couldn't imagine being a stallion.”

“That's exactly how I feel, all the time.”

The princess cringed. “I... I see. I'm sorry, I really don't know much about it. I'm afraid Rarity is right, that was probably from some old, dusty tome. My studies have been a bit... lax as of the last few years and modern psychology has fallen a bit to the wayside.”

“It's okay,” she said softly, before looking up. “Do... you hate me?”

“Huh?”

“I mean... do you and... for this. Do you... hate me?”

“Of course not!” Twilight said quickly, shaking her head. “How could I possibly hate you? You haven't done anything bad!”

“Do... you think the other princesses would hate me?”

“I... can't claim they would approve of this, but I'd never say they'd hate you for this. If it makes you happy, then... I don't think they could fault you for it. Why do you ask?”

“I... used to be...” She poked her hooves together. “I... know it's silly, but I thought... before. I thought if I tried doing it... I'd be... bad. It would make me an evil pony. A... horrible, sinful pony. One that deserved to suffer and just... die.” Her voice was weak and filled with despair.

Twilight shuddered. “Drifting, you are not evil, in any sense of the word. If this is what it takes to make you happy, that's fine. You're not hurting anypony and you're most definitely not trying to cause problems. You're just... special. Suffering with... something I really don't understand, but I wish you weren't. If there was some way to fix this--” She saw the child cringe again. “To make you a mare, like you want, I would. But... there isn't magic for that.”

“Not yet,” Drifting said softly.

The alicorn cocked her head to the side. “Not yet? Oh! That reminds me! Drifting, what is it you study at the school? I never got a chance to find out your focus.”

“Oh, transformation magic.”

“Really? That's quite--” She froze. “Wait. You said you knew how to turn into a breezie?”

“Oh, yes. It was a really hard spell to do, but I learned it for extra credit after I had a bad test. It took a few weeks to get right, but it was worth it.”

Twilight stared for a moment. She'd only learned that spell AFTER becoming an alicorn. Granted, she probably could have done it as a unicorn if she'd tried. Likely years ago if she hadn't spent so much time learning all of the other spells she'd picked up. Still, she couldn't help being a little impressed. “That's... quite the advanced spell. Aren't you just a sophomore?”

She nodded. “Uh huh. Just three more years and I'm free.”

“What do you want to do after that?” Twilight regretted it almost as soon as she said it. She knew the mare was going to say 'be a mare'. She just knew it.

“I wanna work with animals. Not a vet, though. I couldn't do that. Maybe work in the zoo.”

“I'm sure you-- wait, what?”

“Uh huh! I love animals, I used to have a ton of cats and a few dogs. It's why I always liked transformation magic, I could run around and play with them a bunch. But I don't really know what kind of job I'd like to do with it, though. I'd love to work at a zoo, but I'd hate to have to clean up all their messes, ick.” She paused and looked intently at her. “Though, if I could tell you the truth? Something I really, really, really wish I could do but I just knowwww would never work?”

“What?” Twilight asked, dreading the answer.

“Be somepony like Daring Do. She's sooooo cool. Going on adventures, fighting off bad guys. I used to dream I was her side kick and we'd go on the most awesome adventures, I'd turn into like, birds and things and we'd fight off villains like Azhooicicle.”

“Ahuizotl.”

“Gesundheit. Or maybe I'd become a writer, make up a bunch of stories and sell them. I tend to daydream a lot, so sometimes I think about putting the words to paper. But I doubt anypony would ever care to read them, they... wouldn't be that good.”

Twilight could sense the conversation was taking a dark turn. Time to switch the subject. “You know, I've met Daring Do.”

Drifting rolled her eyes. “Oh, of course you did. And I met the tooth fairy.”

The princess paused. She hadn't expected THAT response. “I did! Really!”

“Oh, come on. I'm not a little kid, I'm almost an adult, you know. I know those books aren't real.”

The alicorn gaped. “But... but they are. I was IN one of them!”

“You were?”

“Yes! The purple alicorn! Twine!”

“That was YOU?” Drifting asked, her mouth gaping open. She then paused. “Wait, so you really just stood there and watched while Daring Do was being attacked?”

“... Kinda... we were... a bit caught up in the moment and... w-we just weren't paying attention, that's all. We helped when we realized!”

Drifting eyed her suspiciously. “I... don't believe you. There's no way somepony as cool as Daring Do is real.”

Twilight face hoofed. “She is, and I've met her. Maybe if you're lucky, one day I'll introduce you, too.”

For a moment the child looked excited, before pausing. “Wait, is there a... condition to this? To me... 'meeting' this Daring Do?”

“What? No. Of course not. Why would there be?”

“Uh huh. It's just the author, isn't it? Or some actor?”

“No, it's the real Daring Do and just... listen. Daring Do is real, I give my word. I swear.”

“Is everything alright in here? I heard yelling,” Rarity said as she stepped into the room.

“Hi Miss Rarity! The princess is trying to make me believe that Daring Do is real and she knows her.”

“Oh, yes. She is real, we met her not that long ago during the midst of writing her newest book. Quite the adventurous sort. Though, I do feel she didn't do my character justice.”

Drifting blinked, her mouth falling open. “Wait. She... she really IS real?”

“Oh, so her you believe,” Twilight grumbled, crossing her hooves.

“Well, yeah, she wouldn't lie.”

“I haven't lied either!”

“Do... do you think she'd want a side kick?”

Rarity chuckled and shook her head. “I'm afraid not, deary. She prefers to work alone. I believe her last adventure was a... one time deal.”

“Awwww...”

“Your dress is almost ready.”

“Eeeeee!”

Twilight smiled at the young mare. She remembered when she was that age, something like a dress would have never interested her in the slightest compared to a good book. Yet to this mare it seemed like the best thing in the world. The three dresses were well spent.

Then Rarity stepped out from the back room, pushing the gown ahead of her. The way Drifting's eyes lit up made it all the more worthwhile. It was a take on the princess dress, although the gems glimmered in many different shades of red and pink, flowing gently with the blues. “Now, I hope you don't mind, but I made a few modifications to the original. It--”

“It's beautiful and I love it,” Drifting said softly. “Wait, modifications?” She blinked, and gasped. “It's... it's unique?”

“Oh, of course. I can honestly say there isn't another princess dress like it,” Rarity said, before adding flatly. “Not for lack of trying, mind you.”

“And... and I can have it?”

“Would you like to try it on now, dear?” Rarity asked with a little smile.

“O-of course!” Drifting yelled, rushing to the changing room, the dress tugged behind her.

Twilight sighed and walked up behind Rarity. “You're... really good at this. How did you... learn all this?”

“Oh, darling. My first time dealing with a case like this was absolutely dreadful. I was so shocked that... frankly, I was afraid the poor dear was going to do something... irreversible to herself after. She was fine, but I learned from the ordeal. It has taken me years to get... this good at it, of course. But it's well worth it, no?”

Twilight nodded and gave a sigh. “Right. Is... she going to be okay?”

“Oh, I imagine so. She's still young. I do believe that today will stick out as a particularly good day for the rest of her life, though. The princess ensuring she gets properly pampered and such. As turbulent as her life must be, this day will likely linger for years.”

The princess blushed. “I-I haven't done anything, t-though. You're doing everything.”

“So? You're the one who set this in motion, took a notice. Besides, it's not every day a princess comes out from the heavens and tells a pony what they're doing is okay. That alone might help more than you know.”

Drifting pushed aside the curtain before Twilight could answer. She gulped and gave a soft little sile. “How... do I look?” True to Rarity's talent, the dress framed the young mare perfectly, drawing attention to all the right points and hugging the mare's body in just the right way to keep a viewer's eyes away from the more... masculine traits.

“You look spectacular. Now, little Petal, I do believe the princess owes you a spa date.”

Twilight yiped. “W-what? Me? I thought--”

“I do have a business to work with. Dear, it'll be fine. You've been to the spa often enough. I'd go to the Silver Sponge. They'll be perfect.” She then looked to Drifting. “Make sure to return here when you're finished, okay? With the makeup washed away I'll teach you how to properly apply it.”

The little mare squeaked. “W-what? But you've already done so much, I can't--”

“Nonsense. Now, you two have fun.” Rarity shoved the two out the door before they could object.

It was harder to tell who was more nervous about it, the princess or the sophomore.

Drifting let out a happy, content sigh as she walked up to the school, her bags hanging neatly over her side. Today had probably been the best day of her life. No, it most definitely had. Miss Rarity was amazing, so beautiful and kind, she hoped one day she could be like that.

As busy as she was, the mare had been generous enough to spend hours teaching her how to apply the make up properly and giving her directions on how to do her mane correctly. She even taught her a simple spell to help get the ribbon fixed right. The princess hadn't been nearly as bad this time, though she was still a tad bit intimidating. The spa trip had been delightful as well. She'd been pampered and coddled to her heart's content and she wasn't sure if she was just imagining it, but she swore a pony had been checking her out. Her, of all ponies. Possibly more than one pony.

All in all, Drifting felt more like a mare than she had since she'd discovered what she was. For the first time in a long time, she felt like she really was what she felt like on the inside. Finally, her happiness was a real possibility.

She froze as she walked in the school grounds and her heart began to beat faster. There were only a few ponies out and about, though that made sense. It was a little after dusk, and so most of the weekend staff were either in their rooms or had headed home. Now it was mostly just the other students. A few of the students glanced up, but barely gave her a second glance.

They probably didn't even recognize her. Now she was just another mare. She doubted that would last once she made it to the Starswirl Wing. That was when the real danger would begin.

She took slow, deep breaths as she walked through the halls, plotting her route. Once she was in the Starswirl Wing, they'd put two and two together. For the most part, the students were… passable. They would yell things at her, but they wouldn't hurt her. Most of them. But there were always those who would. Years of bullying had taught her how to avoid those situations. The number one rule was to make sure there was always a member of staff around, even if it was just a janitor. As long as there were witnesses, they'd limit themselves to just words.

But she'd been out too late. Even the floor aide had likely retired by now, locked in their room and only coming out if there was real trouble. Drifting lived on the third floor, the aide lived on the first floor. That meant the second floor would be the most dangerous. That, and the lounge on the third floor. She'd have to pass through it to get to her room. There was a second entrance, though. If the first floor was quiet, she could pass through to it, then make her way up. The back way would be quieter. She took a slow, deep breath as she came to the Starswirl Wing.

She put a hoof to her chest and felt her heart, pounding away. She had to do it, she couldn't hide out all night. Once she was in her room, she'd be safe. She pushed open the door and quickly trotted inside. Running was out of the question unless she was chased, no matter how badly she wanted to. If she ran, they'd chase. She knew that.

Her heart hammered in her ears as she stepped inside. The main lobby was filled with ponies. Of course, it was the weekend. Lots of ponies had gone home, but there were still many more who lived at the school. A few of them stared at her, probably trying to place her. But she ignored them and quickly made her way through the door into the staircase.

“Hey freak!”

She ignored it and kept walking, quickly making her way up the stairs. If the lobby was that full, then she didn't dare risk the hallway. She stopped for only a moment near the second floor, her ears twitching as she tried to hear if anypony was following her. But there weren't any hoof steps. She quickly made her way up, stepping into the second floor lobby for just a moment before stepping into the next staircase, making her way to the third floor.

She was almost there. Almost home free. There had been a few ponies in that lobby as well, but she'd been in and out so quickly they probably hadn't noticed her.

She stepped into the third floor lobby and held her breath. The room was emptier than all of them, only one table occupied with four ponies. The biggest problem was they were looking right at her, staring. She did her best to ignore them and kept walking. She made it to the doorway to the hall before she heard the scraping sound of chairs being moved.

She didn't have to look to know they were getting up. “Hey,” one of them called.

Her heart started hammering so fast she felt it would explode. She quickly pushed open the door and walked into the hall, trotting as quickly as she could without running. If she ran, they would run. If they were faster, they'd catch her. She prayed they'd stop and wouldn't follow her down the hall.

Her prayers weren't answered as she heard the door behind her open. “HEY! Bitch boy!” one of them called after her.

She paused for a second, before breaking into a full gallop. Buck not running, if they were going to hurt her, they'd have to earn it. She raced down the hall and could hear their hoofsteps behind her.

She just had to make it to her room, once she was there, she was safe. Her blood was pumping in her ears as she turned the corner and, at the end of the hall, she could see it. Her door. Her horn glowed as she pulled out her key.

She could hear them, racing down the hall towards her, all four of them. Like the four horseponies of the apocalypse. She fumbled with the lock, her key jamming in and her realizing a moment too late it was the wrong key. She yanked it back.

They were getting closer. She could hear them. She didn't dare look, because she knew she'd freeze. She got the right key and jammed it in, twisting the knob and shoving the door open. She raced inside and then slammed the door, locking it behind herself.

A moment later there was a heavy pounding on it. “Hey! Tranny!”

They really needed to come up with better nicknames for her. They pounded for a few more moments, but soon she heard them trotting away. She could hear them talking and laughing to each other, probably congratulating themselves for spooking the freak. She was safe, she knew she was safe. She sat down and put a hoof over her chest, feeling her heart pounding so fast it might burst.

Once again she found herself thankful she'd come to this particular school. Due to the high amounts of magic that flowed through the student body, breaking into another student's room was grounds for immediate expulsion. There were just too many dangerous, sometimes deadly, experiments that went on. That and there were so many enchantments on the rooms that breaking in was nearly impossible. This was her sanctuary and they couldn't hurt her here.

She sat there, heart pounding as she took slow, steady breaths, calming herself down as best she could. Once her heart went down to a reasonable level, she turned and trotted to the mirror, looking in at herself.

A grin slowly spread against her lips. She was pretty. Beautiful, even. No matter what those ponies said about her, there was no denying it. She looked good. There was no way she was letting a near mistake ruin her amazing day. She turned in the mirror a few times and admired herself, as vain as it was.

As Drifting slept in her bed, a blanket wrapped tightly around herself and face cleared of make up, she failed to hear the gentle hoofsteps outside her door, or the sounds of the small, red envelope being pushed under it.

Author's Note

So uhhh... here's chapter 3. I'll be honest, I really think I should have thought this all through more before posting any of this. Honestly, this entire story has mostly just been a type of helpful therapy to put all my fears and anxiety's to paper and lay them out before me. Each chapter has a semi-focus on a few of them. And to kind of help re-assure me that I'm making the right choice for myself, or at the very least, I'm not destroying my life.

This one in particular tends to focus more on my fear of... well, passing. My complete lack of knowledge on make up, hair styling, the fact for the longest time I thought this made me a bad person for feeling this way, as if I was some kind of ultimate sinner because I dared to question my gender. The last section is just a... big fear I've had for a while due to how my life used to be, even before I realized what I was, now those fears are pretty much amplified even though I know I'm pretty safe due to how I live now.

The biggest problem I'm starting to realize is that while, for the most part, it has been very helpful to write, something like this can sometimes dredge up really painful thoughts and issues that are just... a lot more destructive than I thought. Also, while it's very nice to write, it is likely not very fun to read since I'm not following my standard procedures when it comes to writing(more writing what I feel, rather than trying to think everything out and come to the logical conclusion). I don't know if I'll come back to this story once it's done, but if I do, I imagine I'll have to rewrite a lot of it to get it more in line with how I normally write(namely focus more on how it flows from one scene to the next, describe the characters better, definitely work on Twilight's character a bit more, and just... about everything.)

The big thing is, as much as I would love to just assume the flood of down votes is because it's a trans story, I'm nowhere near vain enough to believe they're all because of that. In the end, this story has a lot of flaws that really shouldn't have been there from the start. Thank you for putting up with it and I assure you my future stories shouldn't be nearly this bad.