The Other Kind of Laughter
The Other Kind of Laughter
Hi! I am Pinkie Pie, and I guess you're here because you want to hear a story about me?
Well, there are many stories I could tell. Like how I gained magic. You will not believe it, but magic does exist! I know that some science-y people would want to name it differently, so it may sound more science-y, but hey, I am not science-y, so I get to call magic "magic"!
This story is kinda interesting. You see, there was a girl in my school, Sunset Shimmer, who was the queen of the school in all but name. Nobody wanted to cross her, since she was a real meanie, and could make your life a Tartarus-in-real-life. But she was not from our world, actually; she came from the magical land of Equestria, inhabited by ponies of all things, and stole a magical crown from there. She wanted to use it for her own purposes, but was followed by Princess Twilight Sparkle, the owner of the crown. Long story short, the crown became a prize for the school Princess of the Fall Formal, Twilight ran against Sunset, she reunited our circle of friends, won with our help, Sunset tried to take away the crown and managed to do so, then turned into a she-demon and tried to make the high school students her personal army, and tried to dispose of Twilight by throwing a giant fireball at her.
I still remember this moment, when me, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy formed a circle around her, trying to protect her from the fireball, although, if honestly, it wouldn't have helped at all, but hey, miracles happen!
And a miracle did happen.
I'll need to digress. The crown held the artifact known as the Element of Magic, and it is one of the six Elements of Harmony from Equestria. The other five are Honesty, Generosity, Loyalty, Kindness and Laughter, and without them, the Element of Magic simply cannot be active. In the pony world, five friends of Princess Twilight wield these Elements, and they became the bearers when they helped her to defeat a villain known as Nightmare Moon. Each Element connected to one of the ponies, depending on their character and inclinations. And five Elements create a spark that powers the Element of Magic.
Well, the same thing actually happened somehow with us, when Twilight brought us back together and befriended her. And when we, as her friends, tried to defend her, we also managed to form a spark, and embodied the Elements of Harmony (and gained cute pony ears and "tail"-hair and some even wings to boot!). Applejack was Honesty, Rainbow Dash was Loyalty, Rarity was Generosity, Fluttershy was Kindness, and I was Laughter, with Twilight being the rightful bearer of Element of Magic.
I swear, the Elements must be psychic, because they perfectly fit us! Applejack is almost incapable of lying, Rainbow Dash will never abandon you if you are a good friend, Rarity always donates to charity and makes us dresses for free, Fluttershy will be kind even to meanies, and I like to laugh and make others laugh and be happy. I guess it's true that I am an Element of Laughter. I like laughter. I mean, why wouldn't I? This sound is the bestest thing you can hear in this world. It is a music of its own.
Sounds strange, right? Yes, it does. Then again, people keep telling me that I am strange, too. Rainbow Dash used to assert that I am "random". It's true, I have that problem.
The thing is, each and every laughter is unique. There can't be two same laughters, just like there can't be two one-hundred-percentily similar pieces of music. Even the two Twilight twins (as I call them, even though they aren't really twins) have different laughters.
You're probably reading this and saying that there is no such word as "laughters". Too bad, you're gonna be sad, 'cause I just invented it! Twilight (at least one of them) would chew my ear off (hee-hee-hee, I just imagined that happening to me... sounds ouchie) for "violation of fundamentals of linguistics" or stuff like that, but I really mean "laughters". Not the laughs one emits, oh no, it's more than that.
One laugh is just... how to put it? One layer of a cake. Yum, cake! I love cakes, and I love baking cakes! So a person's laugh is one layer. But even one person can have different laughs, and these are other layers of the cake. And don't forget the things like posture, facial expressions, the mood, the meaning behind the laughs... all of this is like sweets and frosting and all that yummy-yummy stuff that you put on cake to make it... well, cake-y, I guess. I invented that, too. Maybe I should write a dictionary? Twilights would approve.
So yeah, the whole cakes are "laughters", as unique as persons are. And I love baking these cakes! In other words, making others smile and laugh. The feelings I get from that are just...
...magical...
...and when I get these feelings, I pony up! I also pony up when I play drums in our band, the Rainbooms. Did you know that drums are also like cakes?
Oh... you aren't here after that story, are you, dear reader-from-beyond-the-LCD-display-that-I-cannot-see? What story do you want?
Oh... that story...
Well yeah, I can tell it. I tell you, though, the laughters in this kind of stories are very different. And the laughter I experience there is a totally different cake.
Ewww, cake.
Why do I need these horizontal lines anyway?
I must admit, while I do have the Equestrian magic inside me, I am afraid that I might lose it. As far as I know from Princess Twilight's stories, the Elements of Harmony aren't malevolent in spirit. Oh yeah, they defeat villains, but they do not kill them. At least, they never did. They may cast you to stone, dissolve you into shadows, banish you into the moon (this is not a writer's typo, dear reader, and no, in Equestria this doesnt' kill either) or to Tartarus (there is such a place there), but they never killed.
But there was one case when the bearers of Elements themselves may become corrupted and lose connection to them, if they themselves somehow turned malevolent. Princess Twilight said she and our pony counterparts (isn't it funnily ironic that they are also bearers of Elements of Harmony?) had experienced this, and the Elements were useless without said connection.
I am afraid... that I might lose it. I have been having trouble in ponying up while playing drums lately. The magic in me is... not as easily accessible as before. I blame my current predicament, of which I can't get out yet, for it.
Wht kind of predicament? It involves our family corporation, Pie Geological, Ltd., and the mean game of business behind it.
If you ask about my family, you will know that my father, Igneous Rock Pie, is a well-known prospector and geologist. He owns a mining business that digs many useful goodies from the ground and sells it to whoever buys it and is not under sanctions (stupid sanctions, I know a writer whose country is under sanctions and he's really amused at the notion that they will usher a revolution in his country; nothing like that is going on, he says), including the government, and he is very rich and successful. My mother and his wife, Cloudy Quartz, succeeds from another dynasty of geologists and entrepreneurs; they were betrothed to each other (a rather scandalous thing for those times already, we aren't living in Medieval times, y'know), and both businesses thrived. You guessed it right, we are quite well-off, almost as rich as the Rich family (tee-hee-hee-hee); how else can I commission those party cannons? Their inner mechanisms are very intricate and costly, you know.
But if you think that this makes my life easier... nope-peroni, you're dead wrong. Oh sure, extra dollars never hurt, but everything has a price, including money. And money my family rakes in cost us a risk.
It's not the risk of going bankrupt.
It's the risk of death.
Surprised?
We'll need a history lesson and some info-dump before you push the "Back" button.
Before the Restoration (that's what they call the event when our country returned to democracy in stead of authoritarian rule), the state controlled all the mining, but there was one snag: geological prospection they conducted was costly, so they were interested only in large deposits that could offset the expenses; but there were also smaller deposits they did not want to miss. These snooties were quite grabby. So it worked that way: you could get hired by government to prospect the area where the big crews don't wanna go. You even got a wage, with bonuses for whatever you find. What you do find, goes to the state, and you get 25% of the prize's worth. Yeah, kinda a short end of the stick, but hey, it was still more than the average salary. And while some crime existed there, Special Investigations Service (or SIS for short - hee-hee, the Big SIS is watching you - ohmigosh, MY SIDES!), the oh-so-disliked-now "secret police" was always breathing down your neck, so messing with someone was the biggest no-no of all the no-nos. My Daddy thinks it was better back then. I dunno... maybe.
Now, you can be a private prospector and have everything you find, as long as you get a license (which isn't cheap) and pay taxes. But each and every deposit has to be filed with the Department of Mining Control so they allow you to dig in there. The paperwork involved in this is a big stinking mess, so many prospectors mine illegally and sell what they get via corrupt functionaries or workers at bigger corporations - and yes, megacorps are in the game too.
Now, imagine that two of those propectors have a dispute over some field. Normally, whoever gets through the DMC first, has the spoils, and if the mining is not legal? Then it is settled via duels. Real, scary duels. To the death.
Who just said "Good joke, Pinkie Pie"? Oh... did I mishear? Sorry!
Yeah, prospectors duel each other. Well, it's not really to the death, but death occurs often. Whoever wins, gets the rights to the contested area, like, forever. Problem is, not many losers acknowledge their defeats. Sometimes winners died in "freakish accidents". The sore losing meanies who arrange these accidents are despised and kicked out of the community, but you have to prove they did it first, and that's a story of its own.
We have to deal with the same thing, too, as my family has long been in prospector business too. The official unofficial rules allow to send a rep of your family in your own place, so my Daddy has to involve someone.
Guess who?
...
SURPRIIIIIIIIIIIISE!!!
...
OK, maybe not as much of a surprise; I bet if you clicked on this story, you're already expecting something like this. But no, I don't cut ponies and bake cupcakes from them. Ewww, cupcakes!
I bet you're thinking: "Why me?"
Tell me, honestly: would you really expect a party girl who loves laughter to actually be able to know how to kill you in fifty-seven different ways without weapons (OK, I admit, that number was random, just like me) and where to put bullets for guaranteed kills?
They don't expect it, too.
Of course, I wear a disguise. And since my father is a hard-on regarding honour (or how much of it is allowed in this stinking business), he never goes for others' deposits, so I have to defend our own business like this. With knives, swords, katanas, shurikens, pistols, rifles, shotguns, assault rifles, carbins, machine guns, rocket launchers, grenade launchers, miniguns, rainbow lasers, and bananas. Yes, bananas too. One guy slipped on a tactical banana skin I had placed and fell to his death into a chasm.
Wait, what? A person can't hold a minigun due to kickback? Laws of physics forbid that? What are laws of physics? I barely got a B- in my physics exam, thanks to Twilight, so I don't really know.
And yeah, I lied about rainbow lasers; I am so, so sorry about that! Here, have a picture of how sad I am 
Before you ask: no, I don't wear a Deadpool costume when I brandish my katanas. That's bananas.
Ohhh, this would make for a good rap line! I like rap! You know I can sing rap, right?
"That's bananas!
I do damage when I brandish my katanas..."
Ohhh noooo, my rap-party just got pooped, someone already wrote those lines. I'll have to invent new ones. And find Fruity Loops first, I think. Anyway, later.
How do I know how to use those weapons? You silly filly, what are private military corporations for? Cough up some bucks (I actually did that once, literally, maybe I should sneeze some bucks next time?) and they will teach even a 14-year-old girl how to shoot all kinds of weapons. Yeah, I learned the basics at 14. Tee-hee-hee-hee.
Scared? Don't be.
Aaaanyway, my extra-legal activities don't end here. The private illegal prospectors are not the biggest greenie-meanies here. No.
When Restoration happened, there was a lapse in control of criminogenic situation. Without the Big SIS to watch, several crime rings had formed that also "tax" the prospectors for "protection". With their taxation in the mix, a person can barely pay their bills. Nasty, right?
They tried to "tax" Pie Geological, Ltd., too. My Daddy refused, of course, and refusal doesn't go without consequences.
And then there are the megacorps that formed after the mining had been privatized. These king meanie-suits in there are positively ruthless who would bulldoze a pregnant woman if she stood between them and a buck. They have been trying to make independent companies like ours go under their proverbial wings, since with them in the picture, the corps can't share the market and make as big prices as they want. Where money doesn't work, their security services or PMCs "suddenly" do.
I have to deal with them, too. Grandpa Pie told us that trusting someone outside of the family to get rid of such meanies is not very smart. Family is where loyalty can be found, he said. And so, for the whole history of the Pie family, whenever there was an assassin killing our family's enemies, it was one of ours.
Why is it me and not Limestone or Maud or Marble? Limestone stands to inherit Pie Geological, Ltd., she can't be linked to such pokey-smokes activities. Maud knows self-defense and can bash you pretty good if you threaten us, but she is not the type to actually be fine with it. She will never show it, but she doesn't like the idea. And Marble, my sweet little sis Marble... I would rather slaughter a lot of people and actually bake cupcakes out of them than let her do this!!!
Besides, as I said, my party girl-ism is a perfect disguise.
So I dispose of these meanies, too. I dispose of all the meanies who threaten us.
And...
I laugh when I do it. It's soooooooo amusing to look at them and see their shock and surprise as I am about to... er... don't hover your mouse pointers over the black line! As I am about to fuck them up. YOU HOVERED THE POINTER OVER THE BLACK LINE WHEN I TOLD YOU NOT TO, DIDN'T YOU, PARTY-POOPER?!!!. But this laughter is different. I do not pony up from it. In fact, the more I laugh like this, the harder it is for me to pony up at will. Oh, I still pony up whenever I genuinely make someone laugh and join in, but I never ponied up from this laughter. Makes sense, actually, because it is not the laughter of harmony. It's... icky.
And this cake I just tasted is icky, too. I'll bake another one as soon as I rescue my friends.
Yeah, these fucking kings of mean-y-meanie-pants actually decided to take my friends hostage. MY FRIENDS!!! You imagine that?! I am so fucking angry! Here, I drew you a picture as to how angry I am! 
The SWAT team is on their way, but I am already here. These grumpy meanies think that if I learn about my friends being taken hostage, I will run in tears and convince my Daddy to give them the shares of our family business. Whoever thought it would be fine is a silly-pants. They threatened not to call the police, but my Dad knows people of former Big SIS who can discreetly dispatch a SWAT team. But we can't afford to wait. I can hear them saying that they should kill one of my friends and throw the body out of the window.
They can't do this!!!
...actually, they can. But I can't let this happen! My friends are Elements of Harmony! I know I can lose connection to my own Element, but it's better to risk losing one Element than five (or six - Sunset Shimmer has somehow obtained the magic too, although she never bore an Element of Harmony - oh blast it, it still counts!), right? Right?
So I prepare my weapons and wait until my Pinkie Sense comes off.
I will save my friends.
And I will laugh.
And I won't pony up.
Did I turn on the voice-disguiser? ...Yepperoni!
Ohhh, the Pinkie Sense is tingling!..
Meanwhile...
Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Sunset Shimmer and Twilight Sparkle were sitting back to back in an empty room, their hands and legs tied in such a way that one could not move away from the others. Some mafia group (or so they believed) decided to kidnap them to force Pinkie's father to cater to some of their demands regarding their family business.
They could not fathom why that group did not go after Pinkie or any of her sisters, but once Twilight suggested that the plan was to upset Pinkie and use her as an unwitting pressurer to give in, no one asked that question again.
They weren't in a good condition, too. Rainbow Dash and Applejack mouthed off at their captors and received a heavy beating, Rarity was sporting a black eye which she got for slapping the bandit who tried to grope her breasts, Fluttershy was crying because the bandits cut Angel Bunny's throat in front of her and she got mad and managed to slash someone across the eyes before they beat her up as well, and Twilight lost her glasses and was unable to see properly, thus preventing their escape.
Sunset Shimmer got the worst deal. When their kidnappers attacked, Sunset was the only one who managed to give some resistance to them, for which she paid dearly. The bandits carried tasers, and did not hesitate to use them on her when she decked two attackers and landed a kick at the third one. The shocks were quite painful; in fact, Sunset was barely able to move after receiving them, and the kidnappers had to carry her, but not before giving her a painful beating. As of now, she had enough strength to sit, but movement was still very painful for her.
Currently, all the girls were praying to whatever higher power they believed to exist to make the police come quicker and free them... and keep Pinkie Pie and her family safe.
They perked up when they heard the sounds of gunfire.
"Is that the police?" Rarity asked.
"Took their sweet time, motherfuckers," Rainbow swore.
"Rainbow Dash! Such language!" Fluttershy scolded her tomboyish friend.
"Do SWAT officers laugh creepily like this?" Twilight said.
"Say what now?" Applejack asked, confused.
"Quiet!"
And then they heard it. The mocking laughter of a maniac.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!"
Instinctively, they scooted closer to each other.
"M-m-maybe it-t-t-t's an intim-m-m-mid-d-d-d-dation ta-ta-ta-tactic?" Fluttershy spoke up.
"Not that I know of," Twilight almost whispered, "Shining Armor works in the police, and he never told me about it... I do think that this is a voice distorter, though..."
"But who the hay would need it?" Applejack asked the question they all thought of.
"And seriously, isn't laughing like that kinda the last thing you need to do?" Rainbow added her two cents.
The gunfire and the laughter died off three minutes later, and four minutes after this, SWAT officers found them and freed them of their binds. One of the officers told them:
"You must close your eyes; we will carry you out, just... don't open your eyes."
"Why?" Twilight asked, although she suspected she knew the reason.
"The rooms look... very ghastly."
"Oh... OK," Fluttershy whispered.
The girls did as ordered; however, on their way, Rainbow Dash was unable to resist a small peek.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"
If the girls were not nearby, they would not have believed that Rainbow Dash of all people could emit a girlish shriek like that. A bit more and only bats would be able to hear it.
"Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! They thought they could kidnap my friends and get away with it?! A-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" Pinkie Pie was laughing loudly, using her whole belly and the reserves of air in her lungs to emit the sound waves.
Loudly as she laughed, however, the "floaty" feeling inside her that was a precursor to ponying up did not start bubbling. The magic inside her was not reacting to this laughter.
Despite this, Pinkie laughed, and laughed, and laughed, as if the repeated act would somehow break through the walls keeping her away from her magic.
Suddenly, like "switched off" suddenly, she stopped, furrowing her brows in concentration, and gasped loudly.
"Oh wait..." she said. "My Pinkie Sense is tingling! Itchy nose... and itchy hands..."
She gasped again.
"I MUST GO AND HUG MY FRIENDS!!!" Pinkie Pie shrieked, dumping all her combat clothes and weapons and rushing out of her hiding place to do what she wanted to do right now.
To hug her friends and experience laughter once again.
Not that... other kind of laughter.
The next day...
The Rainbooms were together once again, rehearsing the newest song they were writing. The identity of the mysterious attacker who killed their kidnappers before SWAT's arrival remained unknown as of yet. The only thing that they did learn was the fact that their kidnappers were part of a very nasty crime ring that tried to gain control of independent mining companies like the one that Pinkie's father owned, and that this attack by an unknown assailant was not the first one.
Inspired by the events, Rainbow decided to write a song named "Vigilante Punisher" and dedicate it to this unknown person who, in essence, saved them. The decision sparked some controversy, but the seeming inability of their government to curtail the crime rings in mining business generated sympathy for the Rainbooms, and their small but loyal clique of fans approved of the decision.
So everyone was playing on their instruments, when Pinkie completed an impressive solo on her drums. While playing, she immersed herself in the memories of them gaining magic and using it for good, the parties they all lived through, the laughter they shared...
Suddenly, the party girl felt something bubble within, and magic ran through her, mking pony ears appear and her hair to form a pony tail.
Pinkie gasped loudly:
"I ponied up! I ponied up! Girls, I ponied up, can you believe it?!"
"Pinkie, we pony up, like, all the time when we play," Twilight "Sci-Twi" Sparkle replied. "What's so different now?"
"Nothing! And yet, everything!" Pinkie replied as if this were the most obvious thing in the world. Everyone shook their heads, and Rainbow Dash muttered:
"Pinkie Pie... you're so random."
Author's Note
Written for ~~shits and giggles~~ "F*** THIS PROMPT #10" contest in Rage Reviews group. I saw the prompt and decided, "Why not give it a shot?" 
I regret nothing! 
Also, yay to me - I have managed to fail moderation! *self-trolling *
I did not intent to write this as a comedy, hence no "Comedy" tag. My sense of humour is... peculiar, I have been told. If you do find the story amusing, tell me.
The rap lines I had mentioned are from this video:
And I was partially inspired by the Deadpool movie, yeah. Sue me.
Thoughts, comments, criticism, RAGE? Comment box is below, use it! 
