Pie Family Feud

by Billy G Gruff

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Pie Sisters, Comedy, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, Random
Length: 1208

In a bout of boredom Twilight decides to go for a walk, only to find Pinkie and one of her Sisters in a heated family Feud

Twilight has been dealing with increasing bouts of boredom and the cutie map is not helping. In order to alleviate the nagging dullness that has become of her princess-hood she decided to go out for a walk.

Something she'd regret on count of Pinkie and one of her sisters getting into a fight that challenges Twilight's sanity.

Just something random I wrote on a whim.

Published 2016-03-12 02:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-12 02:30:02 UTC

Fight over Grovey

Fight over Grovey

Twilight was still not very comfortable with her Castle. As much as she tried, she always had this feeling that the Cutie map was just sitting there mocking her with its lack of directions. She wanted to do something, ANYTHING to relieve the boredom, which is why she was taking a disgruntled walk away from Ponyville that Morning. Even with her excitement with Starlight Glimmer, that was only a blip on the ever growing dull fest that had become her life. Twilight wondered how far she should go away from Ponyville this time. She could always teleport back if the map decided to give her something to do, and she had already read every book she had at her disposal, so this agitated trot was the only thing she had left.

Spike had been left behind to do his chores, which had increased exponentially along with the size of their living space. Taking care of a Castle was a smidgen more time consuming than their previous residence. She pondered that maybe talking to Celestia about hiring some ponies to staff her castle might not be a bad idea. Sure, she didn't really like the idea of having pony guards and servants, but she had to admit that whole fiasco with Starlight probably wouldn't of happened if she had a couple of ponies stationed at the door.

This train of thought was shattered at the sight of a pink pony flying past her face and grinding into a grassy hill. It happened at a blinding speed, and the momentum was only slowed as the body ground to a halt, ripping up the grassy earth.

"P..Pinkie?"

The party pony looked like she was hit really hard. Twilight wondered if she should be concerned for her safety, only to see that she recovered a second later with a snarl on her face. She leaped into the air, colliding with a speeding Grey mass that smacked into her, causing a shock wave in the air that caught Twilight's wings in the gust of wind. The princess tried to close her wings in vain before her being whisked into the air, awkwardly tumbling backward by the concussive explosion the two ponies had made . Who knew Earth ponies could pack such a wallop.

The swirling air that was disturbed around Pinkie and this mysterious pony kept the two of them aloft for a moment as they started trading blows at blinding speeds, seemingly vanishing and reappearing at random as their battle intensified.

The pony Pinkie was fighting looked like one of the sisters Twilight had seen in Pinkie's photo album; not Maud, but the angry looking one with the aggressive looking Grey mane. Dirt, rocks and grass were getting shredded in the midair battle as they shifted their bout through the air, slamming their hooves and limbs against each other so ferociously that the weather itself seemed to start being affected. She had witnessed the awesome strength of their sister Maud, whom had performed some impressive feats of strength during her time visiting her sister. Twilight had thought naively that that was just a fluke, that Maud was just an exceptionally rare earth pony; However as Pinkie stretched out her forelimbs to rap around her sibling like a serpent and slam her sister down into the ground like she was some kind of hoofball, Twilight had to accept that the Pie Family had more than a few anomalies to them.

"W..WAIT! STOP FIGHTING!" Twilight yelled a split second before the grey mare smacked into the earth from Pinkie's attack, but her voice was drowned out by the shock wave and plumb of smoke that billowed out and blew the princess back several yards. It felt like the fight she had with Tirek all over again

The grey mare got up, her body silhouetted in the smoke and kicked off the ground, blowing back the debris and reengaging with Pinkie whom had stretched and warped her body into some kind of spiraling pink tornado. Twilight knew Pinkie could stretch and manipulate her body, but seeing her utilize it like that was both amazing and kind of creepy

"ENOUGH!!!" Her horn glowed, enveloping the both of them in her magical aura. She held the both of them suspended in the air, letting the wind and destruction die down before making her voice heard.

"What in TARTARUS is GOING ON!?" Twilight yelled out to the both of them in agitation. Her coat and mane had dirt embedded in them now, and blades of grass filled her mane so thoroughly she was certain she'd need a few good baths to get totally clean.

"SHE STARTED IT!" they both yelled in unison "NO YOU STARTED IT!" they barked at each other in response. From the way they were acting you'd think they were just having a slap fight. Perhaps this was a slap fight by Pie family standards.

"QUIET!!!" Twilight could feel a vein popping out of her neck. She absentmindedly wondered if she looked like Starlight that one time when she was giving her a friendship speech

"Who is she?" Twilight asked, pointing to the Grey mare

"Oh that's Limestone" Pinkie said with her usual jovial tone. It was only a millisecond before she remembered that she was angry with her sister "And she's TRYING TO HIT ON MY GRIFFINFRIEND!"

"GROVER IS NOT YOUR GRIFFINFRIEND, I KNEW HIM LONGER THAN YOU!" Limestone barked back

Twilight could feel a headache forming as she rubbed her forehead "Grover...you mean King Grover?"

"YES!" They both yelled out

"Pinkie king Grover has been dead for centuries, the only thing left of him is that statue!" The princess yelled out as a plea for reason and sanity.

"SO!?"

Twilight blinked at the two of them "Are... are you two fighting over a statue?"

"Well Duh," Pinkie said as if it were obvious

"MY STATUE!" Limestone chimed in, causing Pinkies eyes to flare up and her voice to distort
"YOU keep your hooves OF MY GROVEY!" Twilight had only heard that voice out of Pinkie when somepony broke a Pinkie Promise. Perhaps the Pie family had some relatives with some of the inmates of Tartarus...

Twilight took a deep breath "You know what, knock yourselves out, I'm going home, try not to kill eachother"

"Nice to meet you princess." Limestone said gruffly

"You too, when you get this out of your system come over for some tea so we can chat about this more...civilly"

On that note she turned and walked off in a huff. She waited to let the two of them go from her telekinetic hold until she got from a safe distance, which was followed by the rumbles and sound barrier breaking explosions of their fight. With her eyes twitching and rolling, she stomped back home, looking forward to not speaking to anyone for the rest of the day and soaking all the dirk and grass out of her coat and mane . She loved her friends, but sometimes they made her remember why staying home and reading books was the preferable choice.

Author's Note

Wrote this on a whim. Of course the Pie Family would have a sorted love triangle over a statue.