being poor is a load of shit
Being poor is a load of shit, you can’t afford to do fun things you need to keep an eye on your money or your landlord kicks you out because you missed rent by a day. It’s worse when you’re in college. You have to scrape by while baby boomers wonder why you are complaining about debt while they migrate to Florida to be useless to society.
My life might be pretty shit now but it’s about to get fucking worse is what I wish I could have told myself before I was ripped out of my matchbox apartment. I may not have bills or financial issues but I would take it all on my shoulders once again to come home.
some shitty apartment in the projects
“Another day and a dime less than before” I called out to nobody as I opened my apartment door and took my shoes off. I made my way towards to kitchen and turned the stove on. Preparing a pot of water I got ready to eat my favorite meal of the day (the only meal) dinner. Not just dinner though, ramen. I’ve had every type of affordable ramen on earth, chicken, beef, pork, shrimp, oriental and even sundae ramen on my birthday. Today was different though I found a crate of the illusive creamy chicken for under three dollars.
If anyone reading this knows ramen you know that creamy chicken is the best type. So on the way home I stopped and picked up some chicken that was approaching its due date for the cheap. I was going to feast tonight even if it would rupture my small stomach.
I sat down at my desk and looked over today’s homework, three papers a PowerPoint and a cultural fair project. All needed to be done by tomorrow. I opened up my Government issued trashtop and attempted to open word. It’s been having trouble lately and I knew it was going to give out soon and it chose today. Word crashed and it quickly overheated causing a shutdown.
I put it to the side and went to get a bowl for dinner. As I was dipping the ladle in the pot my doorbell rang. I opened it up and there she was, the only person that made life bearable. Stacy, she was a petite red head in her mid-twenties and she came to visit me pretty often.
“Hey Stacy, want to come in?” I asked her.
“Always” she said.
As she walked in she close the door behind her and took her shoes off. I grabbed another bowl out of the cabinet and filled it with ramen. I filled up my own bowl and we sat down in front of the table. My apartment was too small for a real table so I ordered a sitting table and some cushions at a really good price.
“So John, how has your day been?” she asked me before diving into her bowl.
“Same as it usually is, crippling debt and a dead end job but at least I have someone to hang out with at the end of the day.” I told her before enjoying my good fortune soup.
You could say we were dating but I was too poor to take her out and for all I know she had a chad at home so I don’t push the issue. Even if she was single i'm too beta to ask her out, though if I did i'm to poor to afford a relationship anyway.
“That’s sweet john, I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere this weekend with me?” her cheeks seemed flushed and her posture changed a little bit to cause focus toward her breasts.
“Like a date?” I asked her as I set my bowl down, i never expected her to make a move but i might as well go with it. “Sure sounds fun, I’ll be free this weekend because I’m getting laid off this Friday.
“What! Why are they laying you off?”
“I don’t know but they want me to train my replacement or I don’t get the months’ pay.” I told her looking into my bowl.
“That’s bullshit, you work hard and they should be promoting you at the very least!” she exclaimed.
“It’s alright, I figured this was going to happen soon so I’ve been looking for another job for weeks, they said they would hire me when my current job fell through.”
“Still, it’s not right that they can do that to someone that works the way you do.” She said as she finished her bowl and placed it in the sink.
“Your right but I can’t do anything about that so I just have to keep living.” I said and placed my bowl in the sink along with hers.
I made my way over to the laptop and tried to get it working again. It turned on but it seemed like anything more powerful than the task manager would kill it. The only other thing I used this for was information storage. A personal hobby really. I’ve got a friend in the military who sends me schematics under the table for really advanced systems.
Everything else I get off the net, stuff like how to make gunpowder and basic firearms, farming techniques and information that would help if the world went to shit.
“So are you still keeping all that stuff on there, it seems like a waste.” She said not really knowing why I kept it.
“I like having this stuff on hand, history and our technological advancements.” I closed the laptop and set it on the desk. “Somebody might need it one day so it seems like a good thing to do.”
“well I sti-“she was cut off by the room beginning to shake
“get down!” I yelled from across the room. She took cover near the bed while I was hiding under the counter. The quake only lasted a few seconds before it stopped. Nothing fell down or broke and everything was all good.
“I need to go see if my grandmother is alright” she and put her shoes and rushed out of the door. After she was gone I began to pick up some of the things that fell. I bent down to pick up a binder and when I stood up the world around me shifted then change back to my apartment.
“that was weird, hope that chicken didn’t have anything bad in it” I said. I sat at my desk and before I could turn on my laptop I felt a pulling sensation on my whole body. A moment later the doorbell rang again, I struggled to get up and open the door.
“whoa john are you ok you don’t look good?” she asked holding me up so I didn’t fall.
“I think that chicken was bad” I told her as I made my way back to the desk.
“do you need me to call someone?” she said reaching for her phone
“no don’t call anyone thats costs money I’ll be fine.” I told her and she put her phone back in her purse.
I sat for a moment and the pulling sensation started growing stronger, I looked over to Stacy and she seemed to be having issues as well.
“are you okay?” I asked her.
“I don’t know it feels like I’m being pulled somewhere.” She said as she made her way towards me.
“I’ll go get the tums, we should be fine after that.” I got up to get some tums but immediately dropped to the floor. Stacy crawled over to me and before I knew it we were torn from reality.
Celestia pov
The spell was completed and soon the humans would arrive, i originally wanted one but a second was caught up in it so that's fine. these seem different from the ones I've summoned before but i'm sure they will comply with no problems.
"Princess it seems that they are coming earlier than anticipated" one of the wizards said.
"Well then call in some guards, if we have to meet them early so be it." I told him
He left to get some guards but before he got back the portal began to open, strong winds poured from the tear in reality knocking some of the wizards and witches over.
A moment later and instead of the usual human a large amount of material came with them, i usually try to keep the spell clean but something must have went wrong. The portal had disappeared and what remained was what seemed like chunk of building with various items scattered around it. Lying on it were to humans embraced as if the event would be the last moments of their life.
I made my towards them to make sure they were alive and that i wouldn't have to wait another one hundred and fifty years to bring a human through.
"Hello there humans, my name is princess Celestia." I told them, they seemed to be moving but not paying attention to me.
"Are you ok Stacey?" the male said to the female who must be named Stacey.
"I guess, we aren't dead are we?" she asked him.
"If we are god is a talking white horse, honestly if this is reality being dead might not be so bad." He said as he made an attempt to stand he quickly fell back down
"Hey don't try to walk just yet, most of the apartment came with us so whatever happened must have been pretty hard on us" She told him.
They didn't seem to mad but they also weren't happy.
"I hope my brother will take care of granny while i'm gone, not sure where we are but considering the painfully colored pastel horses i can safely say that we are not in Kansas anymore."
"So, tall white horse thing before the shock from this hits me why are we here." he said to me.
"I, princess Celestia summoned your from your world." i paused to let that sink in. "every two hundred years or so i feel the need to bring one of you over to help technology move forward, you see my subjects have always been content to stagnate technologically." Pointing towards a piece of train track. "In the last one hundred and fifty years we have gone no further than steam and hydroelectric power, we do not burn coal because of the byproducts and electricity is seen as another form of magic."
"So you wanted some humans to lend you a hand?" The man asked me.
"Yes, i tuned the spell to look for a specific person that could most help me achieve my goals." I looked at his companion "I did not mean to bring two of you that was simply my mistake." i said as i gave a respectful bow.
"Well at least I don't have to pay student loans anymore" the man said.
The guards came in and formed a perimeter around the room just in case they turned violent. There has only been one case in which a human turned violent. a strange man with a curved sword killed a few guards about twelve hundred years ago.
"Well where do we go from here?" the man asked me.
john pov
After some processing we were officially citizens of Equestira. we got the basic rundown and some money to start off with. The princess gave us a title deed we were to show the mayor of the town she set us up in. we boarded the train and a few hours later our new lives would begin again.
"So john, what are you gonna do for work?" Stacey asked me as she was reading through a packet of laws.
"Well considering the ponies here have careers based off ass tattoos ill get a tattoo of america and take over the world." I said sarcastically.
"Hey, get serious the princess said that we aren't going to be able to go back so we have to figure something out."
"Yeah i know i'm just not sure what i'm gonna do, i don't know why we even need jobs anyway since we are going to teach her citizens modern tech." I said to her.
We approached the town and as the train stopped a group of female ponies were waiting for us. the head of the group, a purple unicorn we already knew the name of.
"Hi, my name is twilight sparkle welcome to Ponyville" she said waving her hoof towards the town.
Before i could react a pink blur appeared in front of me screaming about parties and then left. i ignored this gross defilement of physics and asked twilight. "Can you tell us where the mayor is, we have some business to attend too." I told her
"Sure, follow us." She said as she began to lead the way.
She began rambling on about the town and history of Equestria but i was to busy thinking about what to do. I had my shit laptop but no way to charge it since the cord was cut but it does have about six hours of energy as long as I'm not running certain programs I also had some ssd's and a flash drive i used for school. It also seems that Celestia needs me to pioneer technology so i needed to figure out how to do that without giving them weapons.
I heard someone calling in the distance but i was lost in thought.
"John, snap out of it!" Stacey said as she shook me out of my day dream. "The mayor met us on the way, so give her the deed." she told me.
"Oh, ok" i said as i handed the deed to the mare i was told is the mayor.
"Everything seems to be in order, and what luck your house is just over there." She pointed towards a small two story building in the distance.
"Alright thanks we'll see you later." I told her and walked off with Stacey.
When we got to the house we found that it didn't have a lock on it so that must have been why they didn't give us a key. Stacey went upstairs with what was left of what came with us so we could take inventory.
"So what should we do now?" She asked as she came downstairs.
"Well right now i think we need to relax, i'm gonna see if there is food in the kitchen." I checked the cabinets and found some kind of cereal and some vegetables and fruit in the fridge.
"We got some food so we don't need to go out just yet, is there anything you want to do?"
"No, I'm really waiting for the shock of us being in a new world to hit us." she told me as she looked out of the windows.
All of a sudden she locked up. "did it happen?" I asked her.
She slowly nodded her head and started to sob. "Don't worry Stacey, its gonna work out somehow." I said as i drew her into a hug.
She looked up at me "how do you know that?" she asked.
I thought about it for a second "because were human aren't we, we can get anything to work" I told her.
