A Wanderer's Journey: Equestrian Chronicle

by Medlimakar

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Adventure, Slice of Life, Crossover
Length: 16295

This is the tale of T.J., an average guy with a very unusual problem. He is a Wanderer.

This is the tale of T.J., an average guy with a very unusual problem. He is a Wanderer. Like a Traveler, he has strange powers and is practically immortal. Unlike a Traveler, he has no choice of where or when he goes. Join him and his companion Umbra as they try to figure out what their supposed to do in a land of magical, talking, marshmallow ponies, and avoid causing havoc where ever they go.

This is my 1st fanfic, so don't hold back your criticism.

Published 2012-06-13 20:14:03 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-27 23:42:37 UTC

Chapter One: Arrival

Chapter One: Arrival

All characters, concepts, and settings are © & TM their respective owners. No infringement is intended by the author.

“Speech”
‘Thought’
“Telepathic speech”

A bright flash was seen in the skies, out-shining the glare coming off of the gilded rooftops of the castle towers, which seemed to sprout from the mountain side like some sort of exotic mushroom. When flash had faded, two figures could be seen "falling with style" from a pulsating rift which, having fulfilled its purpose, vanished. If anypony had been close enough, they would have noted that, strangely enough, the larger of the two was sitting astride the smaller, and that both were screaming in absolute terror, their eyes still closed from flash that had brought them to the land. Eventually, they decided that screaming wasn't going to keep them from adding a new feature to the local topography. So they then began discussing ways in which they could safely land. Though anyone close enough to hear them would not have understood them, for not only they did not speak the native language, but they also communicated with each other telepathically.

"Why, damn it! Why do I always have to appear in the freaking SKY! Just ONCE I'd like to go somewhere new without digging a trench with my FACE!”The larger said to his companion who, until recently had been the larger of the two.

"You mean this is normal for you? I did NOT sign up for this!” The smaller screeched, her wings futilely flapping in hopes of slowing their descent. ”Can't you do something about this?" She asked in a somewhat calmer tone.

"I would if I could, believe me, but I can't." The larger one said, his equipment rattling in the wind. “I'm not attuned to the local leylines yet, and until I am we'll have to rely on our wits." He explained. "At least you have wings."

"Fat lot of good they're doing, you're far too heavy for me carry for some reason." She said humorlessly. Her face brightened suddenly, having just hatched an idea. “I’ve got it!” She shouted, getting her Rider’s attention. “If you hop off, I can grab you in my claws and carry you like one of those silly horses your kind seems to enjoy riding.” She then flexed her claws experimentally only to find that she couldn’t, it was then that she opened her eyes to find that her scaled snout had been replaced with a furred muzzle. “WHAT, WHY AM I FLUFFY?!?” She yelled vocally, surprising them both.

Her companion then opened his own eyes to see what his friend’s outburst was about, only to find his vision obstructed by a black tipped snout. “Well that’s new.” He stated as if it were completely normal to have such a change occur. He then looked at his partner only to find that she appeared to be a diminutive, cartoonish horse. “If I not mistaken, you’re a Pegasus, a talking Pegasus.”

The Pegasus formerly known as Umbra Darkscales turned her head to look at him and saw what looked like something she and her Rider would have been sent to destroy. “Well, if I’m a Pegasus, what the hell are you?” she asked. “You look like the result of a mating session between a man and a cow.” She said, looking at his lean human torso and bovine head.

T.J., formerly a decent example of an elven male, snorted in a very bovine fashion before looking at his own body, starting at the bottom and working his way up from there. “It would seem that I’m a Minotaur, horns, hooves, and all.” He said as if he were teaching a class. He also noted that his various bandoliers, belts, and pouches had shifted to fit his new shape. “Let’s edit your plan; it should still work even with hooves.” He then noticed what seemed to be a temple built out of white marble on the snow covered ground below. “Do you think that you can make it to that temple over there?” Knowing that, linked as they were, he did not need to point at it.

“I think so.” she replied, gaging the distance wither eyes. “It’ll be a rough landing though.”

They then acted on their plan. TJ leaped off Umbra’s back and she hooked him under the arms with her forelegs, flapping her wings furiously to slow their fall to speed that was less potentially hazardous to one’s health, though it was still going to be a rough landing.

They ended up crashing into and though the wall of the allegedly stone temple landing in what looked like a living room. It was furnished for a creature of similar size to Umbra. The strangest part was that everything seemed to be made out of clouds; the walls, celling, and floor were all made from unusually solid clouds. They then heard what sounded like someone abusing a xylophone with a rubber mallet, followed by the sound of a door slamming open and someone coming down the stairs that led to the second floor. T.J. and Umbra both hid behind a nearby couch, TJ’s head peeking around the side so he could see what manner of creature could make such noises.

/)W(\

‘I swear, if there’s anything broke, I’m gonna buck em offa my porch.’ Rainbow Dash thought as she came to the stairs. When she came into the living room she froze, shocked at the amount of damage that had been done. It looked like a tornado had hit, her reading table was shattered, there were Daring Do books everywhere, there was even a chair embedded in the wall opposite a HUGE hole big enough for the Royal chariot to fly through. She then noticed the black pony tail poking out from behind the couch. “I see you back there! Come on out so I can clobber ya.” In response, the pony behind the large and miraculously un-damaged piece of furniture hissed at her and then yelped when a green furred limb shot out and yanked the tail back into hiding.

‘What the hay? There’s two of em.’ she thought, suddenly understanding why there was so much damage. The two Pegasi that were hiding from her had obviously been getting lovey-dovey while flying, which would explain why they hadn’t seen her house. They were hiding from her because they were embarrassed. Who wouldn’t be in a situation like that? Fairly young as well. An experienced flyer wouldn’t have done something like that. ‘OK, maybe a clobbering followed by forced take-off isn’t such a good idea?’

“OK, I’m not gonna hurt ya, just come out.” She said gently. After all, she did have a soft spot for kids. Rainbow saw something poke out from behind the couch and a Pegasus mare slowly came out into the open. The thinly built mare’s coat was shockingly black and her mane and tail were somehow even blacker, seeming to absorb the light in the room. Her cutie mark was the strangest thing she had ever seen, a perfectly balanced set of scales set over a green flame with a black circle in one pan and a white one in the other. That in and of itself was odd, but she could swear that the flame was real as though it was constantly moving. The strange mare then wordlessly beckoned to her friend, who had yet to come out. Rainbow was not expecting what happened next. She had expected to see a green stallion come out and stand beside the mare; instead a hand came up and waved in a manner that suggested its owner’s surrender. A pair of horns then rose up from behind the couch, followed by the head and shoulders of a biped. “The buck…?”

Author's Note

Author note: Proof-read by EternalShadow54

Chapter Two: Contact

Chapter Two: Contact

All characters, concepts, and settings are © & TM their respective owners. No infringement is intended by the author.

“Speech”
‘Thought’
“Telepathic speech”

T.J. looked at the strange creature with an expression on his face that mirrored the one on its own. Standing in the doorway that led to the rest of the house was another Pegasus, but unlike Umbra, her mane and coat were vastly different colors. The mare’s coat was sky blue, while her mane and tail could only be described as ‘rainbow’ colored. The ’pony’, as he had decided to call the small equine, moved her mouth and the sound that he had heard earlier seemed to come from it. Though this time it wasn’t as harsh and sounded almost melodic. “Well isn’t this a surprise, a winged pony that speaks xylophone.” T.J. said with a laugh, gesturing towards the pony, who jumped at the sound. The language of man probably sounded like primal grunting to her. He then took a step towards the rainbow Pegasus, she took two steps back.

“She seems to be afraid of you.” Umbra said telepathically, not wanting to scare the native pony any more, the poor creature looked ready to keel over in fright as it was. “Maybe I should try to convince her that we mean her no harm? After all, I am the same species as her.” She continued, looking up at T.J. She then realized just how tall her friend was. “And you might want to sit down. You’re at least eight feet tall, not counting the horns, and she’s only two foot at the shoulder.” T.J. then began to slowly lower himself to the ground, and that’s when the terrified native charged.

/)W(\

Rainbow Dash didn’t know how the Minotaur was standing on the clouds, but he wasn’t going to be standing on them much longer. She charged the beast as he sat down, knowing that he’d be easier to knock over. The black mare moved to intercept her so she took to the air, easily avoiding the tackle. ‘Is she trying to protect him from me?’ Rainbow thought, just before she was knocked to the ground. She tried to get up only to find that she was pinned down by the mare. “What the hay are you doing? Get off me, I’m trying to help you, you crazy mare!” The mare on her back replied with an inequine hiss, which the Minotaur seemed to understand. He made a strange series of noises and her assailant got off of her with hiss that, judging by tone, meant something along the lines of ‘Well, alright, if you say so.’

As soon as she was free, Rainbow pinned the black mare to the cloud floor, reversing their previous positions. The now pinned mare hissed violently, snapping at her hooves. A forceful tap to the nose put a stop to that. Suddenly Rainbow Dash felt very unsafe, much like she had when Princess Celestia sent the Elements of Harmony to deal with a napping dragon. She looked up to find the Minotaur’s face a mere hoof away from her own. She then, in a perfect imitation of one of her friends, let out a terrified ‘EEP!’ and bolted…face first into an overturned table.

/)W(\

T.J. looked at the now unconscious pony. ‘It would seem that Umbra was right, our native friend is scared of me.’ He thought. Umbra, come over here and check her for a pulse, I figure it’ll be less traumatic if she wakes up with you near her rather than me.”

“Yeah, I think that’s a good idea, we don’t want her to keel over after all.” She said, before placing an ear on the rainbow maned Pegasus’s chest. “She’s alive and, as far as I can tell, she should be OK.” She then stood and then gestured toward the hole with a wing. “We should leave now Tac, before she wakes.”

‘Oh crap, any time she uses more than my initials she means business.’ T.J. thought worriedly. “OK, let’s get out of here before she wakes…” He was interrupted by a somewhat groggy groan. “Damn it, too late.”

/)W(\

‘What the hay, why’s my head hurt so much? I don’t remember going to a Pinkie Pie Party last night.’ Rainbow thought as she waited for her vision to clear. “Huh, why does it look like a twister went through my living room?” She then shot to her hooves, remembering that she had uninvited guests. She turned and saw them trying to sneak out through the hole they'd punched in the wall.

“Oh no you don’t, you ain't getting away that easily!” She said, launching herself at the Minotaur. Just before impact the beast sidestepped out of her path, grabbing her tail as she flew past. She yelped in pain and surprise when he suddenly yanked her back. He then twirled her over his head a few times before throwing her out of her house. She spun through the air for several meters before landing on the clouds in a tangled heap. Once she had stood and gotten her bearings she dashed back to her house, intent on returning the favor, this time she wasn't going to hold back. She literally stormed through the hole, ready to kick flank and get answers, only to find her home vacant. Her shrieks of rage and annoyance were heard in Canterlot.

/)W(\

Four weeks later

Apple Jack stood beside her cart in the Ponyville market watching the townsponies as they shopped. Lyra was sitting in her usual fashion on a nearby park bench playing her lyre, Derpy was blundering trough her mail route, and Carrot Top was attempting to conceal a pitchfork in her cart, which she had used to fend off the horde of rabbits. “Well, it’s gettin bout that time a day.” She said to herself, noting the angle of the sun. She then began to pack up her wares when she heard somepony galloping towards her. She turned to see one of her more unusual customers skidding to a stop a meter or so away.

This one in particular was very odd. The mare, who A.J. assumed to be an Earth pony, wore a strange hooded gray-green cloak that bore a random pattern of green and brown splotches and had yet to say word to anypony in the three weeks since she had started coming into town. Even stranger was the fact that either Pinkie hadn’t thrown a party for her yet or A.J. had somehow missed it. In fact, it was as if the newcomer could completely avoid the party-crazed mare at will. “Cuttin it a might close, ain’t we.” A.J. said with a bemused look on her face.

“Sorry Miss Apple, there was a line outside Sugar Cube Corner that completely blocked the street, so I had to take a detour. I’d like ten of your best apples please.” The cloaked mare said in a Trottingham accent.

Applejack did a double take. “Uh, pardon me Miss but, did ya just talk? Ah thought ya ’all was a mute, considerin ah hadn’t heard ya say anythin’ ta anypony.”

“No, I’m just a mare of few words. By the way, my name is Umbra.” The mare said, extending a hoof which A.J. grabbed for one of her usual ‘death grip’ hoofshakes.

She was pleasantly surprised when Umbra wasn’t even fazed by the strength of her grip. “Ten apples ya say, that’ll be twenty bits. Ain’t ya ’all hot under that there cloak? Ah reckon ya must be roastin’ in that thing.”

“Oh no, I’m fine. It’s made of a very light cloth. That and I don’t like to have stallions staring at my flank all day.” Umbra replied, before pulling the required money from a strangely decorated wallet.

“That’s mighty fancy wallet ya got there. Ah don’t reckon Ah’ve ever seen one like it.” A.J. remarked setting out the apples.

“Yea, it’s one of kind. My partner picked it up during one of his earlier journeys.” Umbra said, putting the apples into her saddlebag.

“His, ya say? So ya got yer self a stallion.” A.J. said with a smirk.

Umbra recoiled and her cheeks visibly reddened. “What? No, he’s like a brother to me. He’s taken care of me since I was little, he practically raised me.”

“Well, Ah need to get home. Ah guess Ah’ll see ya tomorrow.”

“Yeah, see you tomorrow.” Umbra replied. She then turned to leave when somepony yelled so loudly that Princess Luna herself would have covered her ears.

“STOP HER, APPLEJACK!! DON’T LET HER GET AWAY!!!”

A.J. turned and saw a pink blur streaking towards her at a speed that would have impressed Rainbow Dash. The pink missile came to an abrupt stop, and in its place stood a certain baker.

“Aw, why’d ya let her get away A.J.? I haven’t given her a welcoming party yet. How does she do that?” Pinkie Pie said.

“What are ya going on about Pinkie, she’s right…” A.J. said, pointing at the empty space recently occupied by Umbra “Well Ah’ll be she must a slipped away somehow.”

“Why didn’t ya grab her, or stall her A.J.?”

“OK. First off Pinks, Ah ain’t grabbing nopony without a good reason. Second; Ah need to pack up shop so Ah go home, Ah would like to get back to the farm before dark after all.”

“Okie dokie lokie, I gotta get back to the Corner, its Mega Muffin Monday and the pre-closing rush will be starting soon, see ya ‘round A.J.”

/)W(\

Two ponies walked though Whitetail Woods, the one in front stopping occasionally to wave around a stick, the second one complaining all the while.

“I’m tired. I want to go home. It’s getting dark. What are we even doing out here?”

“I already told you, my faithful assistant. There’s alien tech somewhere out here. We are going to find it and, more importantly, whoever is using it.”

“But Doctor, its Mega Muff…”

“Quiet, do you hear that, Miss Do?”

“You mean that singing?”

“Yes, the signal is strongest in that direction, allons-y!” The Doctor exclaimed, before galloping off towards the sound.

Ditzy took off after him. After all, it was her job to keep him out of trouble. She found him at the edge of a clearing, which seemed to be some sort of construction site. A strange squat building, which was nearly completed, stood in the center of the clearing. The only obvious source of the singing, which had stopped, was a lightly built green Minotaur, who was surrounded by dozens of flying tools and objects that Ditzy could only classify as ‘other’. All of which seemed to obey his will, a hammer going one way, and an obscenely large wrench another.

Ditzy nearly jumped when a large, cylindrical object began rolling across the clearing, coming to a stop next to the Minotaur, who lowered it into a hole in the ground. A trio of shovels peeled off of the maelstrom of construction implements and filled in the hole. He then directed the tools towards a bag sitting near the edifice, which they all flew into, somehow fitting. He began to sing again while walking around the structure, opening various panels.

Watch as I work my Wand'rer’s magic,
Tesseract construction means more space.
Oh so many toggles, the mind they boggle.
Soon, I’ll be at home in this place.

“There you are, you naughty little switch. I really should label these things.” The Minotaur said, flipping a switch on the side of the building. An unusual droning sound filled the air and the odd structure took on the appearance of a grassy hill with windows, a chimney, and a round door.

“There, a hobbit hole fit for a king.” The Minotaur said, picking up the bag before entering the house.

“Well, that was unexpected. Let’s have a look around, see what we can find out about this guy.” The Doctor said, stepping into the clearing.

“Uh, I’m not so sure that’s a good id…” Ditzy started, before a loud alarm sounded.

“Unregistered sentient beings detected, dispatching security personnel.” An uninterested voice said, seeming to come from the hill.

“Um, Doctor, shouldn’t we leave before the guards show up?” Ditzy said while backing up.

“No Ditzy, we’re staying. I’m starting to think this fellow may be an off-worlder. He has highly advanced technology, stuff this planet shouldn’t have for another thousand years at least. And if he has guards, then he has something to hide.”

Ditzy watched as The Doctor went farther into the clearing. He stopped suddenly, his ears swiveling to pick up some sound that she couldn’t hear.

“Oh no…” The Doctor said, backing away from the building. A strange creature came into view; it’s one glowing, blue eye
locking onto The Doctor

“INTRUDERS SIGHTED, YOU WILL IDENTIFY.” yelled the creature, the two small lights on its domed head flashing.

“Ditzy, run, I’ll try to hold it off!” The Doctor yelled, pulling out his sonic screwdriver and pointing it at the metallic beast.

But she couldn’t move; her body had locked up with sheer terror. For as long as she had known him, The Doctor had been fearless, staring down horrifying beasts, literally laughing in the face of death. But now, the fear was apparent in his voice. And if he was scared of this thing, then what kind of creature was it?

“HOSTILTITY DETECTED. INCPACITATE, IN-CA-PAC-I-TATE!!” The thing screamed, seemingly incapable of speaking at any other volume, before firing a beam from one of its two arms.

Ditzy watched as the energy bolt raced towards her. When it impacted, she felt strangely relaxed, as if there were nothing wrong in the world. The last thing saw before the darkness overtook her was The Doctor being taken down by a similar beam, a look of abject horror on his face.

Chapter Three: Discovery

Chapter Three: Discovery

All characters, concepts, and settings are © & TM their respective owners. No infringement is intended by the author.

“Speech”

‘Thought’

“Telepathic speech”

‘Bloody hell, what happened? The last thing I remember was that Dalek shooting at’… “Ditzy!” The Doctor jerked into full awareness and attempted to stand, only to find that he had been bound, belly down, to a table.

‘Well this is quite a predicament.’ he thought, looking around the darkened room, which was lit by a fire at one end. He saw Ditzy bound in like manner on table to his left, her wings secured with a belt. She was looking at him; the one eye he could see seemed to ask the last question he wanted to answer, ‘Why?’

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I never wanted this to happen. I promise you, Ditzy; I will get us out of this.”

Her only response was a blink; she seemed to have completely given up.

‘Well, there’s nothing I can do while I’m strapped down. Hang on a tick, is that singing I hear?’

“Boneses and sinew and boneses and flesh, and boneses and sinew and boneses and flesh, and…”

‘No, that is most definitely not singing.’ He looked towards the source of the chanting and saw a smallish scruffy looking biped silhouetted in firelight. Disconcertingly enough, the creature was sharpening a large knife on a grindstone as it chanted.

“Excuse me, good sir.” The creature perked at the sound of The Doctor’s voice. “Yes, you with the knife, would you mind untying me and my friend?”

“Brown pony talk to Scraggle?” the creature said in a ‘mad scientist’s assistant’ voice.

‘Of course, we would get captured by Dr. Frankenstein and left to be ‘entertained’ by his lab assistant.’ “Yes, if you could, please release us? We would be eternally grateful.”

“No, ponies stay tied up. Scraggle only listen to Master or Master’s companion.” Scraggle stated.

Ditzy choose then to speak up. “Can we hurry up with the torture? I’d rather not die of boredom. Or does the fur wad not know how to use that sticker?”

“Ditzy!” The Doctor shouted, shocked at her coarseness. “We don’t want to make him mad. He does have a knife, and he most likely knows how to use it.”

“Ponies are annoying Scraggle, he will get Master, tell him ponies are awake.” and with that, he left through a door to the right of the fireplace.

They sat in silence for a few minutes, neither wanting to say anything. Just as The Doctor was about to say something, he heard a door open behind him.

“Wow, he sure works fast; I wasn’t expecting him to be done already. Why are the lights off?” a feminine voice said. A click was heard, followed by the retina searing agony of a suddenly brightened room.

“It burns!” Ditzy wailed as she screwed her eyes shut to shield them from the light.

The Doctor had to agree with her. The stark, white lighting was far brighter than anything the local ponies could produce and did in fact burn his eyes.

“What the hell?” The new comer said, trotting into the room. The Doctor felt something poke his nose; he opened his eyes to see what he assumed was a pony in mottled green and gray hooded cloak standing in front of him, a black furred hoof coming in for another poke.

“Hello there, Miss. You wouldn’t happen to be the master of this estate, would you?” The Doctor said, slightly unnerved by the fact that he couldn’t see a head within the cloak’s hood.

“Uh…” and with that, the obscured mare darted through the door that Scraggle had used. A loud roar tore through the ensuing silence followed by an expensive sounding shatter and heavy hoof steps approaching the door.

“I’m telling you, Umbra. There aren’t any…” the door opened to reveal the green furred Minotaur they had seen building the house, his face turned slightly away, his eyes focusing on something or somepony much shorter than him. He then looked into the room. “…ponies in the foyer. Huh? What are you two doing in here?” he said as he walked in, followed by a completely black Pegasus.

“You mean other than losing the feeling in my wings and missing out on the best muffins in town. What time is it anyway?” Ditzy said, her voice lacking its usual cheerfulness.

“It’s about 8:26 PM.” the Minotaur stated as he loosened the belt securing her wings.

“WHAT!!!” Ditzy yelled before giving the Doctor a withering glare. “I hope you’re happy, Doctor, ‘cause now I’ll have to wait another year to get a fresh Mega Muffin.”

“Wait a second, did she just call you ‘Doctor’.” the Minotaur said, pausing as he released The Doctor. He glanced at the stallion’s flank, his eyes widening at mark there. “Scraggle, get in here now!”

‘This is not good. Who is this guy? He seems to know who I am. I hope that this doesn’t get violent, I don’t want Ditzy to get hurt.’

There was a scrabbling noise outside the room and then Scraggle came running through the door. Now that the lights were on, The Doctor could see that Scraggle was a gray furred, vaguely canine, bipedal creature and was slightly shorter than an average pony.

“What does Master want, Scraggle is trying to prepare munchings and crunchings for evening meal, which will be delayed because black wings pony not bring fixings and mixings to kitchen.” Scraggle said, giving the black Pegasus an evil look, to which she replied by sticking out her tongue.

“And what is on the menu tonight, Scraggle?” the Minotaur asked.

“Scraggle has made a fine stew from the sweet and tender flesh of the local pony’s flesh*thud*y produce.”

All eyes were now on Ditzy, who had been getting off of the table and fallen to the floor where she now lay on her back in an unconscious heap of fur and feathers, twitching slightly.

“By Gorlog’s beard, Scraggle,” the Minotaur said, applying a palm to his forehead. “Do ya think ya coulda worded that better? Back to the kitchen with you, fur ball.” the Minotaur commanded, pointing at the door. Scraggle hesitated, raising a finger as if he were about to say something, before leaving.

“Now then, Umbra, would you kindly rearrange her so she isn’t belly up? I just so happen to know from experience that is an uncomfortable position for a quadruped to wake up in. Though, considering the fact you’ve demonstrated flexibility beyond that of a normal equine, I might be wrong.”

The Doctor watched as the startlingly black pony walked over to Ditzy and gently rolled her over. ‘Well, fancy that. A black Pegasus that goes by the name Umbra, how fitting. If she were to stand in the shadows with her eyes closed, she’d be practically invisible.’ He then turned his attention on the Minotaur. “Have we met before…or later, as the case may be?”

“Yes, I’ve met you before, but this is apparently your first time meeting me. You know how it is, timey wimey, wibbly wobbly stuff. I would say more, but I know how you are about spoilers.” the Minotaur said. “I never thought you’d end up here of all places. I assume the TARDIS brought you here.”

“Um, yes it did. If you mind me asking, who are you? Are you a Time Agent or something along those lines?”

“Tell me, Doctor. Have you ever heard of someone being referred to as a ‘Traveler’? They are unusual entities that can traverse the gaps between realities at will and often have other strange abilities.”

“And, you’re one of these ‘Travelers’ I assume.” The Doctor said, tilting his head to one side.

“Ha, I wish I was Traveler. But alas, I am a lowly Wanderer.” the Minotaur said.

“And, what is exactly is the difference between ‘Travelers’ and ‘Wanderers’?” The Doctor asked, sitting on his haunches so he could make air quotes with his fore hooves.

“Travelers, if I understand correctly, can go where ever they want, whenever they want. Wanderers, on the other hand, must go where they are needed. Though, just like anyone on a journey, Wanderers can go where they’ve already been by ‘retracing’ their steps.”

“And do you have a name or title, Wandering Minotaur?”

“Wandering Minotaur, that’s a good one.” The Minotaur said, stroking the goatee adorning his chin. “Without all the honorifics my name is Tachyon Joule. If I were to add all the honorifics and titles we’d be here till morning. You can call me T.J.”

“Um…shouldn’t we do something about this one?” Umbra said, nudging Ditzy with a hoof.

“You’re absolutely right, partner of my mind and heart.” T.J. began rummaging in the various pouches that adorned his belt. “I know it’s in here somewhere. Ah ha, here it is!” he exclaimed, pulling out what appeared to be a small controller, its large red button glowing ominously.

“And just what is that, if you don’t mind me asking?” The Doctor said, eyeing the button warily.

“As my mother would say, hide and watch.” T.J. then extended the antenna, pointed the device at Ditzy and pushed the button.

There was a brief flash that blinded him. Once the spots had cleared from his eyes, The Doctor saw an enormous steaming object sitting in front of Ditzy’s nose. “Good heavens! Is that what I think it is? That thing is as large as that Apple stallion!”

T.J. held up a hand. “3…2…1”

“Mu-muffin…MUFFIN!” In the blink of an eye, Ditzy was airborne. Quickly sighting her prey, she dove into its brown body, face first, burrowing in upon impact. Her outburst, as well as the obscene nomming noises coming from within the now quivering monument to baked goods, caused everyone, save T.J., to jump and back away.

The Doctor watched in horrified fascination as the muffin continued to tremble and deform in cartoonish ways. A pulsating bulge formed on the near side of the muffin. Then the baked monolith collapsed inwards, its interior having been consumed by the muffin crazed mare. The edible rubble pile rumbled briefly, bringing to mind a volcano signaling its imminent eruption, then quieted.

Slowly, The Doctor stepped towards the steaming mound of crusts and crumbs. “Ditzy, are you alright in there?” A few crumbs shifted, revealing a gray furred ear, which swiveled towards the sound of his voice. A second ear soon followed the first. Moments later, Ditzy’s head sprouted from the baked ruble, her cheeks bulging. “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.”

Ditzy nodded, attempting to chew the large mouthful of muffiny goodness. “That was, without a doubt, the best muffin I’ve ever had.” She looked around, trying to figure out where the treat had come from. “Where’d it come from? I don’t see any doors big enough to fit it though.”

“Muffin Button.” T.J. stated.

“Muffin…Button, what on earth are you talking about?” The Doctor said, flabbergasted. “You have a device that can create a muffin from nothing.”

“No, that’s impossible. It reweaves the subatomic particles in a given space of air into a muffin.”

“A button that makes muffins, where is it? Let me see.” Ditzy burst from the pile, showering everyone in crumbs.

“It’s right here.” T.J. said, pushing the button once more. After a much dimmer flash, which was accompanied by a puff of smoke, a normal sized muffin materialized on the table nearest Ditzy.

“Mine!” Ditzy shouted, pouncing on the muffin.

“Now then,” T.J. said, putting the button away as Ditzy savored the smaller muffin. “I believe the two of you need to head home. It might not be the Everfree, but that doesn’t mean that it’s safe out there after dark.”

“What about my screwdriver? I kind of need that.”

A floor tile drew attention to itself by flashing red. It then let out a mechanical hiss before dropping slightly and retracting into one of its neighbors. A small pedestal then rose up, the sonic screwdriver on a display stand sitting atop it.

“Well fancy that.” The Doctor said, trotting over and grabbing his tool. The pedestal let out a cheerful tune before returning to its place.

/)W(\

‘Man, I love that jiggle.’ T.J. thought to himself. “Now then, if there are no further queries, Umbra shall escort you back to your village.”

“I will? But I just got back. Now I have to go all the way there and back again. Can’t Miss Do just carry The Doctor and fly back to Ponyville.

“Hey, how do you know my name? Did you tell them my name, Doctor?”

“No, I don’t think so.” he said, giving Umbra a look of suspicion. “You two seem to know a lot for me to have never seen you in town. Why is that?”

“Should we tell them?” Umbra asked T.J. through their link.

“I don’t how we can avoid it after your slip up. That is, unless I use the neuralizer. Besides, they could be useful allies later.”

“How shall I put this? Umbra and I are telepaths. We read your minds.”

“Telepathy, that’s a rare skill. I’ve never seen it done so effortlessly by one so young. How do we know you’re not lying to make yourselves seen more powerful?”

“OK Doctor, first off, you of all beings should know that appearance is not an indicator of age. You’re what, a thousand years old? Yet you look like you’re in your thirties. Second, you saw me levitating several objects and yet you question my mind powers. Mind reading is among the easiest forms of magic, even those with no innate magic can be taught mind reading. And lastly, I can prove it like this.” T.J. said, finishing in the Doctor’s undefended mind.

“GET OUT! Get out of my head! There are things in there that must never be known!” He bellowed. “Isn’t there so sort of order to keep your kind in check?” he said, giving T.J. an accusing glare.

“There was. Umbra and I had to destroy it. They had been secretly practicing necromancy in hopes of gaining enough power to eradicate a rival order, one that had existed for thousands of years, an order that had ended the two greatest wars in that land’s history.”

“Just what exactly are you? You have abilities I’ve never seen or heard of and have knowledge of things I’ve never heard of.”

“I already told you, I’m a Wanderer. Don’t bother trying to understand me, stronger minds than yours have been institutionalized as a result. One creature, who thought it self to be the smartest being in all of creation, actually imploded trying to understand how I could make a peanut butter taco using a strip of leather, a sentient bowl of petunias, and three tons of deuterium. Another, well, let’s just say they won’t be cleaning him off of the fabric of that particular universe any time soon.” T.J. said with a shiver.

“Uh…how…”

“No, like he said, don’t even try to understand anything that comes outta his mouth. My mind is linked with his and even I can’t figure him out.” Umbra said over her shoulder as she trotted towards the door that led outside.

“I… think I’ll just be leaving now, for Ditzy’s sake of course.” The Doctor said, following Umbra while Ditzy fell in line behind him.

“I can take care of myself, Doctor. I got along fine without you before.”

“Oh please, you were probably lost in those woods when you found me.”

“Oh yeah, well if it wasn't for me, you’d still be carrying that screwdriver in your mouth, failing miserably at trying to blend in with everypony. Scratch that, you’d probably have ended up lunch for a Manti…” The door closed, cutting her off.

“Thank the Ancestors; I thought I was going to lose it there. I think The Doctor’s finally got someone who can keep up with him in an argument.” T.J. said, leaving the foyer and heading to the armory.

‘All right, time to see if I can use all of my adventuring gear in this form.’ He opened the door, the lights coming on automatically. He eyed the various implements; each setting in its own rack made to support their sometimes odd forms.

‘Let’s see. There’s my bow, no need to check that. I already know that I can still use it, my body hasn't changed that much. All I did was grow horns, hooves, fur, and a snout. The Bomb Mask,’ T.J. shuddered, remembering the incredible destructive power contained within the innocuous chunk of painted wood. ‘Never again, I might be able to take a planet to the face from thirty thousand feet, but that thing hurts. Besides, why would want to I blow up my own face when I can just crush an assailant’s nads with da Schwartz? Heh, now that was a fun adventure. Ah, the R.Y.N.O., I probably shouldn't use that here. Don’t know how the locals would react to several mini-nukes going off. I don’t want to look for materials to make the ammo either.’

He then looked at the other half of the room, where the non-weapon items were located. ‘Eye of Truth, no. Double Clawshot, no, I've already had to put one priceless artifact back together; I’d rather not do it again so soon.’ His thoughts were interrupted by a voice in his head.

“They're still arguing, why are they still arguing?”

“Oh quit your whining, Umbra. It can't be that bad.”

“It is.”

“Are they still arguing about the same thing?”

“No, now they’re arguing about muffins.”

“Muffins… they’re arguing about muffins?”

“They’re arguing about English muffins, to be exact. The Doctor says that he prefers them over the regular ones, while Ditzy says that they’re disgusting. And the worst part is that they keep asking me which I prefer, but I've never had either.”

“I understand. I’ll have some waiting for when you get back.”

“Thanks, I guess. I wish I could revert into my true form; then I could carry them in my claws. Then again, I don't want to scare anypony.”

“Yeah, I know what you’re saying. I thought those magicians and soldiers back in Ilirea were gonna wet themselves when they found out just how powerful I am. Heh, the look on that one soldier’s face when he broke his sword on my arm was priceless. Though, I still feel sorry for that mage who went into my mind to confirm that I wasn't a shade or some other abomination of the sort and had no malicious intentions. I did warn them that it would not end well.”

“Finally, the edge of town; I was about to start spitting fire. I’ll be back soon.” And with that, Umbra left T.J. to his own thoughts.

‘Now then, where was I. Oh yeah, I was going over what I might need to practice with so I’m ready when the horse apples hit the fan. Heh, horse apples, ponies.’ His eyes then fell upon the object sitting dead center of the room.

There, sitting upon an artfully crafted stand carved from a single piece of nigh indestructible mahogany, was a sword. Its slender blade was hidden in a plain black scabbard. The only sign that it was more than a poor man’s instrument of war was the fist-sized black pearl set within the pommel.

“Ah, of course, how could I forget?” He picked it up then unsheathed it, revealing an iridescent black blade. “Schism, the Shadow Rider’s blade, meant to be wielded by the chosen warrior of the Gray Folk.”

Just as he was about to head to the adjoining training room, he felt a strange tingle. The sensation grew in intensity before disappearing.

“Huh? That was…odd.” He said, going through the door. Three steps later, T.J. found himself writhing on the floor in agony. Through their link, he felt Umbra drop out of the sky as his pain reflected to her. Just before he lost consciousness, he severed the link, allowing her to race to his aid.

/)W(\

“Come on T.J., answer me. Damn it, Tachyon, answer me!” Umbra stamped the ground in frustration before launching herself into the air.

Minutes later she was back inside the compound, looking for T.J. She made her way to the training room, knowing that he would be nearby.

As she made her way there, she could see a wavering golden glow emanating from somewhere between her and her goal. ‘Fire’ this thought caused her to pick up her pace considerably.

She rounded the last corner just in time to see Scraggle and a pair of small droids upending buckets onto a body-sized conflagration raging just inside the training room.

“What in the seven hells is going on here?!” Umbra yelled, getting Scraggle’s attention just he and the bots were about to go for more water.

“You tell Scraggle, you have fire mark.” He said, before rushing off for more water.

“I just got here, you fur brained idiot.” She said as he disappeared around the corner.

She walked over to a small cabinet set into the wall and pulled out the fire extinguisher therein. ‘Why, by Celestia’s golden sun, did he not think to use this thing?’ “Ok, how do I use this thing?” After looking at the extinguisher from several angles in an unintentionally adorable manner, the word ‘INSTRUCTIONS’, printed in bold red letters caught her eye.

‘Oh, would ya look at that, how convenient. Ok, step one; pull pin.’ She found the pin and pulled it out with her teeth.

‘Step two; aim at base of fire while standing six feet away.’ She eyeballed the distance and made some adjustments before grabbing the nozzle in her mouth.

‘Ok, step three; squeeze lever and sweep side to side. That doesn't seem too hard.’ Just as she was about to squeeze the lever, she realized something.

“How am I gonna squeeze this lever with a hoof?” Umbra spent the next few minutes trying to figure out how she could both point the nozzle at the small conflagration, which seemed to be dying on its own now, and squeeze the lever at the same time. She finally gave up on using the lever and decided to go with a more manual approach.

The extinguisher was launched into the blaze by the savage buck it received courtesy Umbra’s hind legs, where it landed with a soft ‘thunk’ and a ‘clang’.

At that precise moment, Scraggle returned, directing a pair of large droids who bore an even larger fog spewing, frost covered, black caldron between them. The bots, after a nod from Scraggle, raised the caldron up over the fire and inverted it.

Something yelped as the fire was finally extinguished in a cloud of steam and Umbra felt T.J.’s mind flare into existence, as if he had teleported from a great distance. T.J. uttered what Umbra assumed was a foul curse in his native tongue, not that she could understand it.

“Ok,” T.J. said from within the mist, which seemed to cling to him. “Why am I cold and wet?” The sound of hooves could be heard as he stood. “And why do I feel like I just got kicked in the face?”

“Heh, sorry about that, T.J., I kicked a fire extinguisher, which may have hit you.” Umbra replied sheepishly, scuffing a hoof on the floor.

“Well then, Umbra, would you please disperse this fog. By the way, where did this fog come from, and why did you have an extinguisher out?”

“The fog is Scraggle’s doing. You were on fire when I got here. He and a couple of bots were dumping buckets on you. They left, so I tried to use the extinguisher, only to find out that hands, or magic, are needed to use it.” Umbra said, taking off and hovering to blow away the mist.

“I was on fire? I was wondering why I felt so drained. Is Scraggle still there?”

“Yeah, he’s right h… Where’d he go? He was here a second ago.”

“No matter, I’ll find him later.”

The fog soon dissipated enough for Umbra to barely make out T.J.’s green form, but something seemed off.

“T.J., are you still standing?” Umbra asked, worried that she had hurt him.

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

Umbra answered by flapping her wings more powerfully, causing the somewhat gentle breeze coming off of them to increase into a gale.

“Whoa there, Umbra, take it down a few notches. It’s not like the fog is poisonous.”

She continued to beat the air with her wings until the fog was no more. She then looked at his definitely shorter form, trembling as she took in the lean muscled body. She landed practically on top of him before she pressed her face against his and stared into his eyes, as if the answer to the question of life, the universe, and everything could be found within their depths. She withdrew suddenly, her eyes wide. Bringing a hoof up, she poked him in the nose.

*boop*

In a non-literal flash, Umbra vanished, causing T.J. to recoil before looking up to find her clinging to the ceiling like a frightened cat. Just as T.J. was about to ask how she was holding onto the ceiling as if she had claws, Umbra yelled at the top of her lungs.

“Scraggle, what the hell was in that caldron?!?!”

Chapter Four: Emergence - Part One

Chapter Four:
Emergence - Part One

All characters, concepts, and settings are © & TM their respective owners. No infringement is intended by the author.

“Speech”
‘Thought’
“Telepathic speech”
~The Ancient Language~

To say Rarity was not having a good day would have been a gross understatement. It had started when she woke up that morning to find her vision filled with a pair of blue eyes, a mere hair’s breadth from her own. This, of course, had elicited a scream from Rarity. The face retreated to a barely respectful distance, though; she already knew who it was.

“Pinkie, why are you in my room?” She asked after she had calmed down.

“’Cause I’m waiting for you to wake up, now come on!” Pinkie said; the normal cheerfulness strangely absent from her voice.

“Slow down, darling. What’s wrong?” Rarity asked, flinching when Pinkie began to violently shudder towards the end of the bed. Pinkie fell to the floor with a thump and continued flopping for a few moments before stopping. “Good heavens, Pinkie, was that your Pinkie Sense?”

“Yeah, last time I had this one, me, A.J., Fluttershy, Twilight, and Spike had to deal with a big meanie hydra in Froggy Bottom Bog.”

“Oh my, do you know anything about this time?” Rarity asked, the trepidation her voice clearly audible.

“All I can tell is that whatever it is, it is gonna happen at ‘Shy’s place and that the two of us need to be there when it does.”

“Good heavens let us be off! We haven’t a moment to lose.”

Now, forty-five minutes later under cloudy skies, they were nearing Fluttershy’s cottage when they saw that someone else had beaten them there.

“Oh my, it’s that dreadful, Iron Will,” Rarity growled, feeling her temper rise at the mere sight of the strangely bedraggled looking minotaur.

“Hey, you’re right. What’s that meanie doing here?” Pinkie had stopped bouncing and was now trotting beside Rarity like a normal pony. “I thought Fluttershy told him off last time.”

They paused briefly before quickly rushing toward the cottage as Iron Will began to furiously pound the door with a fist.

‘Twilight must have reinforced that door; it should’ve splintered by now.’ Rarity mused before calling out to the belligerent minotaur. “What is the meaning of this? I demand to know why you are so intent on meeting with Fluttershy.”

Iron Will paused in his attempt to reduce the door to kindling to give her a death glare before joining his fists and hurling their combined weight at the door. This final bone crushing blow was enough to overload the enchantments placed upon the oaken planks, which were suddenly reduced to splinters in a flash of amethyst light.

When the dust settled a group of diminutive long-eared armored figures was revealed, the white furred lead figure’s determined expression making it clear that any who dared to cross the threshold with ill intent would face their wrath.

Pony and minotaur alike simply stared at the small army standing in Fluttershy’s living room; all of which were armed with a wide range of kitchenware ranging from dainty salad forks to a frightfully massive melon cleaver, the latter being wielded by an equally frightening rabbit whose muscular body was crisscrossed with scars.

“By the Matriarch’s udders…” Iron Will swore, gazing at the defenders.

“Wow, those bunnies sure look like they mean business,” Pinkie said, stating the obvious.

With a surprisingly loud cry, Angel charged at Iron Will’s legs, the legion of leporids on his heels. Several of the armor clad rodents pulled grappling hooks out and hurled them upwards, where they ensnared the unsuspecting minotaur’s horns.

Iron Will seemed to come to his senses as the hooks struck and tossed his head, launching the grapplers skyward. He then began kicking at the rabbits attacking his legs, making sure to avoid the cleaver wielding rabbit’s swings.

There was much bloodshed that day, at the Battle of Oaken Shards. Though the defenders fought valiantly, they were too few in numbers to overcome their adversary, the Great Horned One. Many a rabbit and hare died that dark day, the ground stained with their blood and carpeted with their corpses.

Angel Bunny, the mighty warrior chosen by the Kind One to guard her palace at the edge of the Everfree, was found amongst the dead, his head reduced to a mushy pulp by the Horned One’s hooves…

Or, rather, that’s what would have happened, if Fluttershy hadn’t come out of the forest, her saddlebags laden with Zecora’s herbal remedies.

The rabbit army’s advance ground to a halt as soon as they saw her; many of them casting their make-shift weapons and armor into the nearby foliage before scampering off. Angel Bunny, however, was already locked in glorious combat, arms flailing vainly in an attempt to scratch Iron Will, who was holding the enraged rabbit by the ears at arm’s length.

“What are doing to my Angel Bunny?” Fluttershy asked in a deceptively calm tone, which frightened Rarity more than if the soft spoken pegasus had yelled.
Iron Will turned, just noticing the yellow mare. “Finally, just the pony I’ve been looking for,” he said, carelessly tossing Angel to the side. “Now we can get down to business.”

“And just what business is that?” Rarity interjected, “I thought your contract with Fluttershy ended months ago, when she clearly stated her dissatisfaction with your ‘training’.”

Iron Will gave her another glare, pointing his finger at her. “Stay out of this, unicorn, it doesn’t concern you. And that goes double for you, ‘pinky’. I let you trick me last time, and I won’t let you do it again,” He snarled, glaring at Pinkie at the end.

“Sounds like somepony woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. I have just the thing for that,” Pinkie giggled, pulling a basket of fresh muffins out of her tail.
‘Don’t think about it, Rarity, you’ll sleep better tonight. Just write it off as Pinkie Pie being Pinkie pie.’ Rarity said in her thoughts as the scent of muffins, fresh from the oven, wafted on the breeze.

Iron Will ignored the baker’s attempted distraction, and began stalking towards Fluttershy only to find that she had somehow moved several cart-lengths away and was now sitting at the forest’s edge, looking as if she had seen a ghost.
With an irritated snort, he turned and resumed his menacing approach.

“One more step, minotaur, I dare you. I need vent on something and you look sturdy enough for me take my frustration out on without breaking, much.”

“Who said that? Show yourself!” Iron Will bellowed, looking for the source of the voice.

“Why would I need to hide from the likes of you? Prey hides, while predators, like myself, watch from the shadows, waiting for an opportunity to strike,” The cold, feminine voice said with a dark chuckle, drawing attention to a section of the tree line, which seemed to shimmer in time with chuckling.

The disembodied laughter was silenced by a squirrel in a nearby tree, who, upset with having his nap interrupted, had thrown a rather pointy acorn at its source.

“Barzûl, that hurt!” the voice cried, the shimmering resolving into a cloaked pony as the head of a black mare seemed to materialize a pony length away from Fluttershy, who launched herself into Pinkie’s tail with a startled squeal at the mare’s sudden appearance.

“Why do you bushy-tailed tree rats hate me, what’d I ever do to any of you?” the mare continued, rubbing her slightly bloodied forehead. The squirrel, looking down at her smugly from his perch, scolded her loudly. “Same to you, ya buck-toothed, nut chewing bastard!” she yelled back, giving the squirrel a fiery glare with her harlequin green eyes.

“Huh, where’d you come from, and how long have you been standing there?” The now puzzled minotaur asked.

“Hey, I know you; you’re that pony who ran from me yesterday. Why’d ya run away, I just wanted to be your friend?” Pinkie said, her head tilting to the side.

Just as the strange mare opened her mouth to answer, Iron Will turned to go after Fluttershy, who was attempting to sneak into her home.

“Oh no you don’t,” she said, moving with surprising speed to place herself between the burly biped and his target. “My warning still stands, buddy. Just who do you think you are, harassing young mares? You should be ashamed of yourself. Well? Just who the hoof are you?” the mare demanded.

“Iron Will, self-help instructor. I’ve come to fulfill a previous contract with Fluttershy, regarding a sum of bits she owes me for attending my seminar and completing the confidence building course,” Iron Will stated, crossing his arms.

The mare trotted over to Fluttershy, who was trying to be as invisible as a bright pink and yellow pegasus could be.

“Fluttershy, I assume?” the mare asked, receiving a slight nod in response. “Is that true, did you go to his seminar and finish his course, not that I’m seeing any evidence of it?”

The panic stricken pegasus answered so quietly that Rarity was certain the curious mare hadn’t heard her when Iron Will took a step towards the pair.

The dark coated mare flew at the minotaur, the clasp on her mottled cloak coming undone to reveal a lithe black form… and a pair of feathered wings.

Rather than simply landing in front of the startled bull, the green eyed shadow given form barreled into him, driving him to the ground.

“Listen up, blue bull,” the mare snarled from her position atop his chest, glaring at him with the rage of thousand suns. “I’ve been very patient with you, more so than I would like to be. But, I’m gonna let you live, ‘cause I’m trying to be more like a rather merciful friend of mine. If I were to have it my way, you’d be a charred, greasy, spot on the road right now, but he’s always been a bit more level-headed than me. So I’m gonna say this only once, stay down, because I could end you before you even had time to beg for your miserable life. So don’t move from that spot, got it, Iron Will.” The mare finished with a snap of her wings before hopping daintily to the ground.

As the stranger walked away, the seemingly defused minotaur grabbed and yanked her tail, pulling her into a rib-cracking bear hug. Her cries of pain were punctuated a number of loud cracks.

“Unhand her, you monster!” Rarity screamed as Fluttershy sat silently weeping for her would be savior.

“Hey, what’s that?!” Pinkie cried abruptly, pointing at the road leading to Ponyville. She started shuddering again, her violent spasms coming to a head, drawing the attention of those around her only briefly.

Rarity immediately saw it, an incredibly peculiar figure approaching rapidly, seeming to flow over the landscape like fog. It stood upright, like a minotaur, but was far too narrow in the chest to be one. Further details were hidden beneath a cloak, one that bore the same seemingly random pattern of greys and greens as the one the odd mare had appeared in.

“What is that?” Iron Will asked, his question accompanied by a dull ‘thud’ as he dropped the now groaning pegasus to the ground.

“You’ve really stepped in it now, bull boy.” the mare wheezed, coughing up some blood. “You remember that friend that I mentioned, that’s him, right there. I hope you have good health insurance, ‘cause there’s one thing that really sets him off, and you just did it.”

Iron Will looked at the approaching figure, fear in his eyes, before picking up a stone and throwing it. The stone fell short, landing mere hooves away from its target. Rarity’s relieved sigh turn into a horrified gasp as the figure hit the pebble and was launch skyward, as if from a catapult. A unicycle fell from within the shadowy confines of the cloak, puzzling even Pinkie.

The cloak came next, though its hood got caught on the wearer’s head, unveiling the lean body of a non-pegasus stallion with a large number of small pouches secured around his torso and a rock as his cutie mark. After briefly flailing his fore legs, he freed himself from his cloak. Vision restored, the hornless stallion seemed to briefly contemplate the chances of a gentle landing before calmly accepting the fact that he was going hit the ground, hard. But that didn’t mean he was going to do it quietly.

“CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAP! CRAAAP!” he screamed as the distance between himself and the cold, hard, unforgiving landscape dwindled.

With an almighty ‘THUD’, which Rarity felt in her hooves, the earth pony was reunited with his element, his momentum expending itself by carving a trench in the roadside with his face. Upon grinding to a stop, the green stallion laid there for a few seconds before his right foreleg rose into the air and waved, something on its underside catching the light as if a coin was stuck to it.

The stallion pulled his head from the ground and, after getting his bearings, made his way in their direction. His approach, however, was halted by the return of the wayward unicycle, which hit him squarely between the ears, knocking him to the ground, where he lay unmoving. His cloak fluttered down soon after, covering his body like a funeral shroud as the nearby bell tower struck the hour.

The ensuing silence was broken by Iron Will’s raucous laughter. “I’m supposed to be afraid of that clown, really? Who is this guy, the village idiot?” the minotaur scoffed.

“He does like to make an entrance; although, they usually go better than this,” a familiar, though unexpected, voice replied.

The horned biped turned so suddenly that Rarity wondered how he stayed on his hooves, his jaw dropping at the sight before him. Standing there, twenty strides from where he had dropped her and apparently fully healed, was the black pegasus who had been hacking up blood and sputum only moments before, licking a mysterious blue substance from her lips. Fluttershy sat next to her, looking at the empty bottle sitting nearby.

‘How did she heal so quickly? Pegasi aren’t that durable, at least, Rainbow Dash isn’t. Though, this mare is rather odd.’ Rarity racked her mind, struggling to comprehend her surroundings.

“Ar-are you s-sure you’re go-going to b-be ok, Miss Nightfeather?” The timid pony asked her voice filled with concern.

“I’ll be fine, Fluttershy. I’m more worried about my friend, to be honest,” Nightfeather replied with a smirk.

“Oh my!” Fluttershy said, quickly making her way over to the stallion.

‘So that’s her name, Nightfeather; it certainly suits her.’ Rarity thought as the previously unnamed mare trotted over to where Fluttershy was literally hovering over the downed stallion, gently removing the cloak and unicycle before she landed to place an ear on his chest.

“He’s breathing,” Fluttershy announced, before gingerly prodding the stallion’s head, “though he’s going to have a nasty bump where the unicycle hit him. He just needs to rest for a while.”

“Screw that, he can rest later; we need him now,” Nightfeather said, as she pulled an air-horn out of a nearby shrubbery.

“Hey, that’s mine!” Pinkie yelled, pointing an accusing hoof at Nightfeather.

“I know; I also know that you have caches like this all over the place.” The mare replied as she continued to make her way over to her friend as Pinkie looked at her confusedly.

Rarity cast a quick glance in Iron Will’s direction and saw that he was staring dumbstruck at Nightfeather.

“Clear!” Nightfeather bellowed at a volume that could rival Princess Luna before an ear shattering honk pierced the air.

Rarity returned her attention to Nightfeather, expecting to see her green friend rolling on the ground, clutching his ears. Instead, she saw her looking at his still lifeless form as Fluttershy glared at her.

“He just experienced severe head trauma, he needs his rest.” The medically minded mare said firmly.

“Well, looks like I’m gonna have to resort to something a little more… precise.” The black mare mused, completely ignoring Fluttershy. Nightfeather then put her mouth next to the stallion’s ear as if preparing to whisper something to him. She surprised everyone by grinning evilly and biting him instead.

/)*(\

Meanwhile, in T.J.’s mind…

I sat in my host’s darkened mindscape, waiting for his thought-form, a forest green orb with a grassy green corona, to materialize. It was taking a little longer than usual. Then again, he had taken a unicycle to gourd.

The sun-like manifestation faded into existence, like a ship coming out of a fog bank. Almost immediately, it began throwing off flare-like tendrils, clearly displaying his discontent at my presence.

Hello Tachyon, how’ve you been since we spoke last? I asked, trying to be amicable.

‘Well if it isn’t my unwanted house guest. What do you want, Tinker? I thought I’d gotten rid of you when I became bonded with Umbra, but no, you just felt like being an ass by not saying anything for three years, getting my hopes up and then brutally crushing them under foot.’ He snarled, clearly overjoyed to see me.

Uh, I don’t have a body to attach any feet to, so…

‘You know what I mean, jackass.’ He growled. ‘What form of mental, physical, spiritual, and/or psychological torture do you have planned for me today?’ he replied sarcastically.

Oh T.J., you wound me. I thought you liked my games. After all, you were bored with your human life. And isn’t this more fun than a nine to five job flipping burgers in a greasy diner?

‘I’ve died three times since you threw me into this mess of an existence. That’s twice more than any human should have to. Can you even comprehend what that feels like? Have you ever bled out on a battlefield, surrounded by dragon fire and corpses, and then attended your own funerary pyre, and been conscious the whole damn time?! My body might’ve been trashed beyond all reason, but I could still feel every kick and stab those damned apes gave as they retreated. If you think being burned alive is painful, try looking at the first two real friends you’ve ever had as they weep over your barely recognizable body. A body, might I add, that isn’t even the one you were born with!’ he bellowed into the darkness of his mind.

I paused briefly to figure out how best to say what I needed to, preferably without angering him anymore.

Listen, Tachyon. I know I could never begin to apologize for all of the hells I’ve put you through. I just want to tell you that this will be your greatest adventure. You’ll see and do things you thought impossible. But you’ll need help; you’ve no doubt noticed that your magic is much weaker here than it was in Alagaësia. You’ll need to collect a sample of raw magic of the local variety to access the rest of your power.

A shudder rippled through the mindscape, accompanied by an ominous rumble. T.J.’s form dimed slightly, signaling that his return to the realm of the living was imminent.

Well, that’s my cue. I’ll leave you with a parting gift, don’t be too mad at Umbra, you know how impatient she can be sometimes. Oh, and say ‘Hi’ to Twily and A.J. for me.

As I left for my usual corner of his mind I felt a question beginning to form in T.J.’s mind. His light winked out, showing that he’d woken up, leaving it unasked.

I chuckled to myself, knowing him, he was probably ten feet in the air, swearing by the name of some deity.

/)*(\

“SWEET SISTERS OF THE UNDERWORLD!!!!” the stallion wailed, leaping into the air. Upon landing, he sat down to rub the now bleeding cartilaginous appendage as Nightfeather looked on, her expression somewhere between concern and mirth.

“The actual hell, Umbra; what kinda teeth ya got in there, pony, or dragon?” he asked incredulously, examining the blood on his hoof. He leapt at the mare, pinning her to the ground, then pried her jaws apart and looked inside like a foal peering into an unexpectedly empty cookie jar.

The mare, whose name Rarity was now unsure of, expertly tossed the much heavier earth pony stallion off of herself. “Do I look like a dragon to you?” she asked, giving him an annoyed glare.

“No, no you don’t. Currently, I’d put you at about tier two on the diabetes-inducingly-cute scale, right below the yellow one cowering behind you, with the pink fluff creature by the white…” the pony paused, gaping at Rarity. “Is that a boney protrusion on your head, miss?” He said, a disturbingly curious gleam flashing in his eyes.

“Yes… unicorns, like me, tend to have a horn.” Rarity answered, unsure of how somepony could reach adulthood without knowing what a unicorn was.
The odd stallion gave his friend a questioning look. “Why didn’t you tell me there were unicorns here, Umbra?”

“Why didn’t you ask, Tacky?” was the mare’s teasing rebuttal.

“Who are you ponies?” Iron Will cried, clearly confused as to what was going on. “Neither of you should be standing right now.” He said, glaring at the impossible pair.

“Well, my muscular, bipedal friend, I am T.J. And you’ve already met my lovely companion, Umbra Nightfeather, though she may not have introduced herself.” The stallion replied with an exaggerated bow, followed by a nod to the black pegasus, who folded her wings with an indignant huff.

“As for why we are still standing, the simple answer is magic. If I were to give you the full explanation, we’d still be here this time next week.” T.J. explained. “Now then, Umbra, what seems to be the matter in contention here?”

“Fluttershy, the pegasus, and Iron Will, the minotaur, made a non-written contract several months ago in which, in exchange for a sum of bits, Fluttershy was supposedly trained to be more confident and to stand up for herself.” She reported in a militaristic fashion.

“Well, either Iron Will’s methods blow, or this pony was a shivering heap of hair and feathers before the training took place.” He said, eyeing the nigh catatonic mare, who looked at him fearfully. “What of the unicorn and the default pony, what’s their involvement?”

“We are her friends, T.J., and we will defend her, if we must.” Rarity said, pawing the ground and lowering her horn threateningly as she prepared to use her magic.

“And who you callin’ ‘default’? I don’t see a horn or wings on you, mister ‘my cutie mark is Tom’.” Pinkie added, giving him a nasty look.

“I thought we agreed to never speak of that again.” Rarity hissed at her rose tinted friend.

“OK, first off, Miss Rarity, I mean you and your friends no harm. Second, Miss Pie, don’t call me ‘mister’, it makes me feel old.” He replied, drawing gasps from both of them.

“But you are old, T.J.” Umbra said.

“Yes, but I like to feel as young as I look. When you’re a couple hundred years old, you’ll understand.”

“Look, I don’t care who you two are, just stay outta my way. I’ve got payment to collect.” Iron Will said, stalking toward Fluttershy, who had moved over to her two friends.

“She owes you nothing; your contract, thanks to your one hundred percent satisfaction guarantee, was rendered void by her dissatisfaction in your methods. In fact, I’d say you owe her due to your wanton destruction of her front door.” Umbra stated smugly as she and T.J. placed themselves between the minotaur and the mares.

“You have no proof of such a guarantee.” Iron Will snarled, clearly angered.

“Actually, we do, for I am a telepath, and I have scanned your mind and those of the three mares involved. At the time of Fluttershy’s attendance to your seminar, you had such a guarantee; a guarantee which you later pulled due to others pulling the dissatisfaction shtick, which put a significant dent in your profits. Now, I don’t know how things work here, but where I’m from, your actions can get you thrown in the slammer.” T.J. said.

‘A telepath, him, but he’s an Earth pony, they can’t be telepathic, can they? Though, that would explain how he knew our names without asking.’

“That’s how it works here too.” Pinkie supplied, displaying unexpected knowledge of the Equestrian legal system.

“Well, all righty then; if that be the case, then I give you two choices, Iron Will. You can work off the debt you owe to Fluttershy for the desecration of her door, and then never return to this town. Or, we can get local law enforcement involved, your choice.” T.J. stated.

“And just who do you think’s gonna make me do it, you?” Iron Will said, glaring at them.

“It looks like he wants option three, T.J.” Umbra stated simply, a touch of mirth to her voice.

“’Twould seem so, my friend. What do ya say; shall we perform the Wandering Blitz?”

“Nah, let’s save that for later, I wanna see what ya can do without my help.” Umbra replied, trotting to where Rarity and Pinkie were standing, Fluttershy acting as her second shadow.

“Very well, I’ll have some fun with him. I’m sure you lovely ladies could use a bit of a show right about now.” The odd stallion said, turning to face Rarity and her friends before crying “Have at thee, horned one!” and charging the minotaur.

Iron Will lowered his horns and met the stallion’s charge with one of his own, a bellow of animalistic fury escaping his throat.

“Oh, I can’t watch.” Fluttershy whimpered from somewhere behind Rarity.

“I can!” Pinkie chirped, munching on a bucket of popcorn.

“Got another one of those?” Umbra asked, standing to her right, her wings twitching at her sides with anticipation.

“Sure do.” Pinkie giggled, pulling a second bucket from a nearby burrow and tossing it over Rarity’s head.

“How can you two eat at a time like this?!” Rarity cried, looking at the two mares flanking her.

Umbra thoughtfully tapped her chin with a hoof. “Uh, like this.” She answered, before plunging her muzzle into the bucket and noisily devouring the crunchy whiteness within.

Rarity returned her gaze to the two males just in time to see T.J. leap nimbly onto Iron Will’s head and then off, driving the unbalanced minotaur into the ground, where he carved a furrow with his face.

“That’s for the pebble earlier, ya top heavy brute.” T.J. taunted as Iron Will pulled his head from the ground. He flinched when the minotaur turned to face him, eyes alight with primal fury. “Aw, did I make da widdle minotaur angwee?” he taunted again, receiving a wordless bellow in response. “I guess I did.”

“Are you crazy?!” Rarity cried.

“Just a little.” He replied, holding a hoof just off the ground to one side. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.” He said, pulling a red cape from one of the many small pouches strapped to his body. “Hey, El Toro; tu madre era un hámster, y tu padre olía de saúco!” He called standing on his hind legs and waving the cape.
Iron Will charged again and again, growing more enraged as T.J. danced out of the way each time, clearly enjoying himself.

“Olé!” Pinkie cheered after each pass. Rarity gave her an odd look before looking to her right to see Umbra watching the performance intently as Fluttershy watched through her wings, yelping in time with Pinkie’s exclamations.

“O…”PING! A loud metallic note rang though the glade, prompting Rarity to return her attention to the potentially gruesome spectacle in front of her.
An unexpected sight met her gaze, T.J. posed triumphantly over an unmoving Iron Will, his cape gently fluttering in the breeze. “Ta-da!” he sang, dropping the cape with a bow, revealing a large anvil with a strange logo on its side. “Ah, Acme, always there when I need ‘em.” He said, rubbing the out of place object affectionately.

“C-could somepony please t-tell me what j-just happened? I mean, if s-somepony wants to, th-that is?” Fluttershy asked so quietly that Rarity, mere hooves away, could barely hear her.

“Well, Miss Fluttershy, it’s quite simple really.” T.J. said, answering Fluttershy’s question. “Iron Will here was, judging by the rather unfriendly hug he gave my companion, beyond reasoning with by the time I arrived. So I had let him cool off a bit before we could discuss anything like the rational beings we are.”

He put an ear to the downed minotaur’s chest for a moment. “Still alive, that’s good. I’ve got a few cures for death, but I’d rather not use them on this guy.” He stood and placed his right hoof on Iron Will and said in a commanding tone ~Rïsa!~

A teal glow emanated from beneath T.J.’s hoof, bringing to mind the glow a unicorn’s horn emitted while casting an illumination spell. The incantation’s effect was immediate, Iron Will jerked awake, gasping as if a pail of ice water had been upended onto his face, while Tachyon backed away, looking a little drained.

“You ok, T.J.? You look like you just tried to move a mountain.” Umbra asked, voicing her concern.

“Huh, what do ya know? The jerk was right.” He muttered quietly to himself.

“And just who is this ‘jerk’ and what were they right about?” Umbra asked, tilting her head.

“Oh, it’s just one of the many voices in my head, nothing to worry about. One of them just informed me that some of my more advanced arcane abilities would be on the fritz for a while.”

At that point, all eyes were drawn to Iron Will as he slowly rose to a sitting position, rubbing his head. “Ugh, what happened? Why do I feel like I charged into a brick wall?”

“Welcome back to the realm of the living, Iron Will. Now that you’re awake, we can resume discussion of the terms of your potential exile from this quaint little village.” T.J. said jovially, looking the minotaur in the eye. “Oh, and to answer your question; you charged into an anvil, which I suppose is like a brick wall, but somewhat more mobile.”

“Exile, what exile?”

“Potential exile, you’ve two other options, penance, or incarceration in whatever correctional facilities exist in this land.”

“I ain’t leaving without payment.” Iron Will snarled, quickly standing so he could glare down T.J., who simply stood there, smiling back him; seemingly immune the look of pure hate the much taller minotaur was giving him.

“Very well, if that’s how it must be, I have a proposition for you. If you can catch me, I’ll pay you tenfold what Fluttershy owes you.” The green stallion replied, drawing gasps from Rarity and Fluttershy and choking noises from Pinkie, whose back Fluttershy began pounding in an attempt to dislodge the offending kernel. “Do we have an accord?”

“We do.” Iron Will intoned, lunging at the stallion, who slipped away with almost pegasine grace.

T.J. galloped out of reach, his pursuer hot on his heels as he raced around the clearing.

The four mares watched the stallion and minotaur as they turned and began heading straight for their group.

“Sweet Celestia,” Rarity cried, reflexively diving out of the way as the two males passed. “Did he have to do that?!”

“And now things get interesting.” Umbra said, stretching briefly before launching herself after the pair.

As she watched the odd performance before her, Rarity felt the ground beneath her tremble, slowly rising to the height of a two story building.

She then felt a strange sensation, as if a feather were being brushed along her horn. She flinched away from the contact and it withdrew slightly, but continued its gentle caressing.

It took a few moments for her to figure out that the sensation was something’s way of asking permission to do something and that it meant her no harm. Unsure of how to give permission, Rarity reached for the odd feeling as if she were trying to levitate it…

And suddenly found her mind engulfed by another, reality falling away as her mind struggled to understand its surroundings.

‘Hello, anypony home? Is this thing working? Oh Orlog damn it, please tell me I didn’t break the unicorn already.’ A worried voice called, echoing though the dark plain.

‘What’s going on, where are we, T.J.?’ Rarity asked, recognizing the voice.

‘The simple answer would be that we are in your mind. I don’t have time to fully explain, I have raised the ground you three are standing on so that you’ll be safe during the beat-down that I’m about to issue. I’d say more, but what I’m about to do requires my full attention. See ya on the other side.’ T.J. replied as she felt herself return to her body.

Upon opening her eyes, Rarity noticed that she was now lying on the ground in very un-ladylike fashion. She stood slowly, her friends helping to her hooves before dusting her off.

“You ok, Rarity? Ya kinna just fell over and your couch didn’t come outta nowhere to catch you.” Pinkie asked; more confused than worried about her friend.

“I am fine, Pinkie. T.J.’s telepathy was just a bit more than I could handle.”

“Ooo, what’d he say, what’d he say?” Pinkie asked, bouncing merrily.

“O-oh my…” Fluttershy gasped at what would have been a normal volume for anyone else, drawing Rarity’s attention first to the shy mare, then to the bull and pony show before them.

Umbra flitted between Iron Will’s horns, tapping him forcefully with hoof as she passed, causing him to falter long enough for her to escape unmolested. She continued onward until she had caught up with T.J., who leapt skyward and was caught by Umbra. She then powered her way up to the clouds, unhindered by the fact that she was now carrying somepony who was easily half again her weight, leaving a confused and angry Iron Will on the ground as they disappeared into the gray sky.

“Hear me, oh Iron Will, son of Steel Resolve.” T.J.’s voice thundered from within the clouds, which began to swirl malevolently.

“You are charged with destruction of private property, assault, attempted murder, and failure to honor the terms of a binding contract, not to mention threatening the lives of countless entities of varying intelligence. We beg of you, for your own sake, leave Ponyville and the surrounding environs, or face a Wanderer’s wrath.”

“Iron Will ain’t leavin’ without his money!” the minotaur bellowed in return, failing utterly to match T.J.’s volume.

“So be it. If you will not leave without money, then you shall not leave, AT ALL.”

This declaration was immediately punctuated by the clouds disintegrating with a thunderous report, a polychromatic shockwave tearing through their vaporous forms with a black and green streak extending downwards from its epicenter.

‘That’s a sonic rainboom, but… how?! I thought Rainbow Dash was the only pony who could it.’ Rarity thought as the odd couple continued to near the ground at an alarming rate.

At the last second, Umbra pulled out of the dive and T.J.’s grip, overcome by the immense forces caused by such a maneuver at high speed, failed.

Nopony had time to scream before T.J. hit the ground in front of Iron Will, tossing up a great dust cloud. Rarity looked on fearfully, expecting to see the minotaur stumble out of the dust, covered in gore.

Instead, the sounds of a scuffle fell upon her ears, pained grunts and the sound of flesh hitting flesh carried on the breeze.

Umbra landed on the small plateau with the other mares, panting slightly from exertion.

“What happened to the clouds? It was cloudy just a few seconds ago.” She said, looking the now clear, blue sky.

“You just did a sonic rainboom.” Rarity said breathlessly, taking a good look at her for the first time.

She had the same body structure as Rainbow, only a bit smaller, though she seemed to be about the same age. Rarity had to stifle a gasp when she saw her cutie mark, a green flame which seemed to quiver as her breath hit it.

Rarity leaned forward as the flame seemed to shrink under her gaze. She could almost swear that she felt heat rolling… “Can I help you with something?” Umbra asked, startling Rarity out of her daze.

“Oh, um, I’m terribly sorry about that. It’s just, well, there’s just something… odd about your cutie mark. It’s just so hypnotic.” Rarity replied; drifting off as the acid green flame drew her in once more.

With a startled whinny, Umbra turned to glare at Pinkie, her hindquarters nearly hitting Rarity’s face as she swung her body around. The pink mare’s cheeks were puffed and her chest fully expanded as if she were preparing to blow out a candle.

“Don’t do that!” Umbra squealed; wings flaring with her temper. “Ouch!” She folded her wings and then extended her left wing, wincing as she did. “Damn it! I knew I pulled out of that dive too quick.”

Both Rarity and Fluttershy gasped at her exclamation, though, for different reasons. Fluttershy pounced on the unsuspecting mare and began gently massaging the injured wing, feeling out any sprains and strains.

A dull thud interrupted Rarity before she could reprimand Umbra for her un-ladylike language. The four mares peered over the edge of their earthen platform to see Iron Will desperately scrabbling around it, the exposed skin at the end of his snout pale with fear.

“Get over here!” T.J. yelled from within the dust cloud, a metallic tentacle shooting out and grabbing the minotaur by an ankle in its three clawed talon, before snapping taut and dragging him, screaming for mercy, back into the tumult.

Three mares sat in stunned silence, the fourth nodding approvingly. “That’s it, T.J. Show him what happens when you mess with the Wanderer and those he cares for.” Umbra said softly, earning a questioning glance from the others.

“Fore!” T.J. called, and, with the sound of an anvil being dropped in to a cart of squeaky toys, Iron Will was launched from the cloud, landing on their platform with a thud. The platform shuddered under the impact and began lowering itself back into the ground.

The sound of hoof steps drew Rarity’s gaze back to the dust cloud just in time to see a figure emerge from its hazy confines.

It was a minotaur; a pair of bandoliers slung across his green furred torso and a black kilt around his waist. In one gauntleted hand he held a large war hammer. With the other, he gestured to T.J.’s cloak, which flew into it.

“Who- who are you, what are you?” Iron Will stammered, too terrified move as the lean muscled minotaur approached.

“To answer both your questions, I am Tachyon Joule, the Trackless Wanderer. I have come from beyond this realm to maintain order and right wrongs; and what you’ve done here today is very wrong indeed.” He replied in T.J.’s voice, making a show of putting on the cloak, which fit his form perfectly.

“So, what are you going to do to me, kill me? I can tell by looking at you that you don’t have the guts to do it.” Iron Will said, some of his confidence coming back as he stood.

“Oh, I have the guts, but killing you would be too easy. In fact, with but a simple spell, we’d be mopping up yours. Instead, I’ve got something special planned for you.” And with that, Tachyon Joule surged forward, pinning the larger minotaur to the ground, the palm of his right hand flaring with a familiar teal light as he pressed it against Iron Will’s forehead. He then started chanting rapidly, the strange words flying from his mouth in a strangely musical tangle of consonants and vowels.

As the light engulfed his form, Iron Will let out a shriek of fear, startling the mares. As suddenly as it had started, the odd magic stopped, Tachyon Joule stepping back from the still glowing form of Iron Will.

“And now all the left is to cement the changes and give him a new identity.” Tachyon Joule said, making a beckoning motion to the remains of Fluttershy’s front door. The splintered planks flew through the air, gravitating toward Iron Will and himself. The fragments were reduced to dust and lingered briefly before being absorbed by the light, which flared as they merged with the unmoving form within.

The light melted away, leaving a dull brown minotaur in Iron Will’s place. The new minotaur’s fur bore strange patterns resembling wood grain, seemingly shaved into it.

“Well T.J., what impossible thing have you done this time?” Umbra asked trotting over to stand by the green minotaur, who had walked over to a nearby stump.

“To put it in simple terms, I’ve rewired Iron Will’s very being and changed him on a fundamental level. The minotaur known as Iron Will is no more. In his place, crafted from Iron Will’s better traits, stands Oaken Bar, master carpenter.” And with that, he fell over, unconscious.

Umbra applied her hoof to her forehead with an audible ‘clop’. “Damn it, T.J. You just said that you couldn’t do high level magic and then you try to do it any way. Ok, I can figure this out.” She sat next to her fallen friend, a look of deep contemplation on her face, her wings shifting with her toughts. “That’s it!” she cried, springing to her hooves before rooting around in the pouches at T.J.’s waist.

“There you are, you beautiful thing, you.” She exclaimed, withdrawing the entire length of her leg from a pouch which shouldn’t have been deep enough to reach that far into. The object of her search was a bottle with a gentle pink glow emanating from it.

Umbra struggled with the cork for a while before a soft groan drew everyone’s attention to Oaken Bar, who was levering himself into a sitting position.

“Oh, my aching everything, what happened?” He groaned, rubbing his head. He shook his head and cracked several joints, causing Rarity to shudder, before rising to his full height of eighteen hooves. His gaze fell upon Umbra, who was still wrestling with her bottle, lying on her back with her wings outstretched for balance, all four hooves pushing the jar away while her teeth griped the cork.

Rarity held her breath as the minotaur strode towards the recumbent mare, before letting it out as a sigh when he knelt next to Umbra, extending his hand.

“You look like you could use some help, little pony.” Oaken Bar said, getting Umbra’s attention. She cocked her to one side, her gaze shifting between the minotaur and the offered hand.

With a twitch of an ear, Umbra rolled to her hooves and scrubbed the bottle’s saliva soaked cork against the ground to remove the accumulated slime from its surface. "Knock yourself out." she said, placing the bottle in his hand.

Oaken Bar examined the glass container briefly before saying "I never will understand why you ponies have so many things that require hands to use. I suppose this is some sort of pony remedy for exhaustion for your green friend there." Receiving a nod from Umbra, he then popped the cork, releasing a small pink creature that bore disconcerting resemblance to a parasprite.

The winged ball of light fluttered over to Tachyon, circling over his supine form. The green minotaur groaned under the sprite's ministrations.

Its job apparently done, the fairy began winging its way into the Everfree Forrest, only for Umbra to pounce on it, capturing it in the bottle from which it had just been released.

The fairy voiced its displeasure at being confined once again with a rapid string of chime-like tones, some of which sounded particularly unfriendly.

“Whoa there, little pixie, you’re gonna have to slow down. I can’t understand Hylian very well.” Umbra replied. The fairy seemed to take a deep breath, as if preparing to launch into another tirade, when Umbra stuffed its glassy prison back into the pouch she had pulled it from. The nymph’s now muffled curses were silenced as Umbra closed the pouch’s flap. “Thank you, soundproofing enchantments.” She breathed, happy to have silenced the noisome pixie, before trotting up to Tachyon’s head and giving him a gentle nuzzle, causing him to stir.

“Oi, I really need to stop doing that, it can’t be good for me.” The green minotaur groaned as he rose to a seated position.

“Ya think? I won’t always be around to pull your ass out of the fire, and all the hoopla you cause isn’t helping with the whole ‘blend in with the locals’ plan. Umbra replied.

‘Blend in with the locals?’ Rarity thought, choosing to ignore Umbra’s foul language. ‘well, they’re both doing a marvelous job of that.’

Oaken Bar offered a hand to Tachyon, who took it and was hauled to his hooves by the brown minotaur. “You all right, bother? The little miss and I were worried there for a moment.” He said, indicating Umbra.

“Yeah, I do that a lot.” Tachyon answered, rubbing the back of his head. “Am I correct to assume that it is common for bulls to refer to each other as ‘brother’, regardless of blood?”

“You’re not from Goldhorn or any of the other strongholds, are you?” Oaken Bar asked, tilting his head in a puzzled manner.

“Minotaurs live in fortified settlements?” Tachyon replied, mirroring the action.

“Pardon me, but what happened to T.J., and who are you?” Rarity, asked. She and Fluttershy began cautiously trotting in his direction, Pinkie bouncing along behind them.

“And what do you mean, ‘blend in with the locals’?” Fluttershy added quietly.

“Well, miss Rarity; I am Tachyon Joule, the Trackless Wanderer.” Tachyon said with a surprisingly formal bow. “My friends tend to call me T.J.; ‘Tachyon Joule’ is just bit long and polysyllabic for casual conversation.”

Pinkie bounced excitedly up to Umbra, completely disregarding the darker mare’s personal bubble. “I bet you got a super duper, spectacular title like him, don’t ya, Nighty.” She asked with an excited squeal, pinning the smaller, and somewhat thinner, pegasus to the ground in her jubilation.

‘Oh dear...’ Rarity thought as several emotions flashed across Umbra’s face, most notably shock, horror, and barely contained rage.

“I am the Wanderer’s Shadow,” she replied icily, slipping out from under the slightly pudgy, pink pony. “Though, I’ve been called ‘The Silent Flame’ by those who fear me.” She finished as she trotted over to T.J., who let out a sigh of relief, as if expecting a more violent reaction from his touch-shy friend.

“All righty then, Umbra and I have time for a few more questions before we must be on our way, so ask away.” He said, sitting himself down on a nearby log, Umbra, having retrieved her own cloak, joined him, lying to his right in a dog-like fashion, her head resting on his lap.

“I have one,” Oaken Bar said. “You seem to know all of our names, but I’ve never heard of you or anything like you, why is that?”

“Well, to be completely honest, I have a voice in my head that apparently knows everything, and, on occasion, will impart some of that knowledge to me. He told me all of your names and gave me a bit of backstory on all of you.” Tachyon answered. “While we’re on that subject, you three ponies wouldn’t happen to know the best way to apologize to a certain rainbow maned pegasus, would you?”

Rarity and Fluttershy both gasped, the former bringing a hoof to her muzzle. “So you’re the demon minotaur with a brainwashed slave that destroyed Rainbow Dash’s living room?” Rarity asked.

“A demon,” T.J. laughed. “Is that what she thinks I am? That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Though, there are those who would disagree.”

“At least she thinks you’re a free thinking individual, I’m apparently your mindless pet.” Umbra said grumpily.

“Given the circumstances of our encounter, Rainbow Dash likely thought that you needed protection form me. So, it surprised her when you leapt to my aid.” Tachyon explained, standing to leave after helping Umbra with her own cloak.

“Now then, Umbra and I have got a town to explore so; I bid you all a fond farewell.” Tachyon said, walking along the road to Ponyville. “Oh, one more thing,” said, pausing to remove a small wallet from his belt, which he then tossed to Oaken Bar. “That should more than cover a replacement for Miss Fluttershy’s door, with plenty left over so you can set up a shop in town. Something tells me they could benefit from having a skilled woodworker on hand… or hoof, as the case may be. And now,” he said, pulling what looked like a scarlet walnut out of his cloak. “We go!” And with that, Tachyon hurled the object at the ground, where it exploded with a brilliant golden flash and a loud pop.

“It would seem that the Wanderer likes to make an exit as well.” Rarity noted aloud as she blinked the spots from her eyes, receiving various noises of agreement around her. It seemed that no one was surprised to find their surroundings were minus one minotaur and pony when their vision cleared.

Author's Note

I am so so sorry about how long this took. Two years is entirely too long to write a chapter, I can only hope that you find the wait worth it. As the title says, this is part one of a two part segment. The reason for this is that the chapter in its original form was approaching 11k and was nowhere near where I wanted to end it, so I cut the thing in half and did some minor edits, giving chapter 5 a jump-start of nearly 2k and making it so I could get this out all the sooner. So, enjoy, here's hoping it doesn't take another 700+ days to post chapter 5.