Rainbow Dash's Filly Adventure.by feather_mctallisonChaptersThat escalated quickly.The somewhat adventure part of the story.A break from the plot.The ending.That escalated quickly.It was your average, sunny day in Cloudsdale. Birds flew overhead, wispy clouds floated lazily in the sky, and the cheerful sound of foals laughing and playing filled the air. It was your average, sunny day in Cloudsdale, at least before a certain rainbow-maned filly fucked everything up. Rainbow Dash sat at her schooldesk, bored out of her mind. They were learning about multiplying fractions or some shit. Why this information was crucial to her life, she had no idea. Eventually the teacher stopped her tedious droning long enough to introduce a transfer student from Bunny Hills Elementary School, who had trotted in at that point with an older pony. Her name was Fluttershy, a gangly butter-yellow Pegasus with bubblegum-hued mane and tail. Rainbow rested a hoof over her grumbling stomach. This filly was making her crave carnival food. Fluttershy froze while the teacher tried to make her feel welcome or whatever. She seemed overwhelmed at the amount of ponies staring at her. Well, duh, Rainbow thought. You're fresh meat. You stand out like a clown at a funeral. Everyone's gonna be looking at you. What's-her-face took her seat in the desk directly next to Rainbow's. Wait, what's your name again? The teacher continued with her damn lesson. Flittersqueak seemed to be ahead of most of the students in the class, because she raised her hoof at every opportunity and called out the correct answers. Rainbow snorted. Teacher's pet. The cyan filly spaced out for most of the rest of the class period. She regained mental consciousness when Fightersky slapped a pile of papers on her desktop. The fuck? "We're taking a quiz," Fatherspy whispered. "Oh," Rainbow said. "On what?" Flippersly flashed her an odd look, then turned her attention to her paper. Rainbow gingerly took a quiz, behaving as if it were infected with the avian flu, and tossed the stack at the colt on her other side. Okay, number one. I can do this! Rainbow gnawed on her pencil eraser. Number one...hmm...nummmber one...uh... Rainbow glanced up at her classmates. They were slouched over their quizzes, scribbling. Fucking shit. Her cerise eyes flitted over to Flubberscrub, then at her answers. After checking to make sure the teacher wasn't looking, she copied off her quiz, changing a few answers on purpose to avoid suspicion. Flatter—Fuck it, Rainbow gave up on guessing her name. I'll just call her Yellowquiet. Yellowquiet scrawled the last answer on her quiz and placed it on the teacher's desk. They exchanged smiles. Rainbow rolled her eyes. The light-colored Pegasus returned to her own desk and, not knowing what else to do, played with her mane. Rainbow eyed her in admiration. She has a pretty mane. Maybe I should shoot the breeze with her and we could become friends. Then I'd teach her illegal stuff. And we would get arrested and become cellmates. Rainbow poked Yellowquiet with her pencil eraser, forgetting she had chewed on it earlier. The outcome was remnants of saliva sticking to her arm. Ah, shit. Yellowquiet startled and swiveled in her seat to face her. "Um. Hello." "I really like your mane," the light blue filly murmured to her. "Oh!" Yellowquiet stroked her hair self-consciously. "Thanks." Rainbow nodded, and remembering she still had hell in the form of paper lying on her desk, turned in her quiz. Finally at noon the bell shrilled, and all the foals shoved their way out of the classroom. Rainbow Dash and Yellowquiet were the first ones out. The teacher led everyone down to the ground to eat. Last time ~~Rainbow Dash~~ some idiot dropped ~~her~~ their entire lunch off a cloud and took out a rickety old mare, whose equally old husband sued the school. They weren't going to let that happen again. Rainbow joined Yellowquiet under a tree a little away from everypony else. The smaller Pegasus chowed down on her sandwich right away, but Yellowquiet took her time laying each food item carefully on paper napkins on the grass. "Um, whatcha eatin' there?" The pink-haired Pegasus cocked her head, gandering at Rainbow's mysterious lunch. "A waffle sandwich," Rainbow replied simply, as if a waffle between two pieces of bread wasn't the weirdest food combination ever. "Ah." Yellowquiet looked between her lunch options, trying to decide which to eat first: a peanut butter and daisy sandwich, a box of apple juice, baby carrot sticks, and a vanilla pudding cup. She finally picked the carrot sticks, daintily eating each one until the napkin they were on was clean. "So, uh, Yello—er...what's your name?" "Fluttershy." "Yes. That. That name. Fluttershy. You wanna come over to my place later?" "Oh, I'd love to! And...I have a question for you. But it's, um, sort of hard to ask..." "Ask away." Rainbow took another bite of her waffle sandwich. "You wanna fuck?" Rainbow choked on her waffle sandwich. After a minute or so of coughing, spluttering, Fluttershy failing at the Heimlich maneuver, and a spit-covered chunk of waffle plunging into the dirt, Rainbow screeched, "What?!" "Fuck. You know. Make love, mate, have sex..." "I know what it means! Just...what?!" "Oh, come on. You're acting like you've never been associated with a horny filly before." "No! ...Okay, maybe, but it was just my cousin's neighbor's niece! And we didn't even get to—" "Oh, whoa, okay, I don't need to know. But do you?" "Do I what?" Fluttershy fixed her with an irritated stare. "Want. To. Fuck." "Oh! Uh...sure?" Bad move. A flash and shutter sound interrupted their fun, prompting Rainbow to swiftly remove her tongue from Fluttershy's nether regions. A photo dropped out into the hooves of a colt in some geeky uniform neither filly recognized, who only had seven words as a response to what he'd seen. "This'll look great in the school paper." Author's Note Sorry, I'm not that great at writing. I kinda tried to do this the way I imagined Rainbow's point of view to be. Suggestions for improvement are welcome. The somewhat adventure part of the story."Shit, fuck, damn, hell, crap...every swear word that's ever existed!" It was the end of the school day, and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were walking to the former's house. "Dash, it's not that bad. The paper isn't even out yet." "Well, it's gonna be out, and then our lives will be ruined!" Rainbow kicked at a loose chunk of cloud. The two were silent until they reached their fluffy destination. "Hello, sweetie," Rainbow's mom, a purplish-blue mare with styled pink hair, nuzzled her daughter. Rainbow grumbled at the affection. Pulling away, she rested a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder. "This is Fittershrub." "Fluttershy." The pastel filly gave Rainbow a pointed look. "Right, right. Fluttershy. So we're gonna go upstairs don't bother us bye!" And with that, the foals raced up the stairs, leaving Rainbow Dash's mother baffled in the foyer. Rainbow slammed the bathroom door shut in her parents' room. "Enchiladas, quesadillas, tortillas...!" "If you're swearing, you're doing it wrong." "Dah!" Rainbow clasped her forehead with both hooves. "I'm out of profanity." "Okay, look." Fluttershy got all up in Dash's face. "We can stop this. I don't know how, and I don't think we even can, since we're just dumb little fillies who don't make a difference in the world—" "Great pep talk." "—but if we just don't let anything stand in our way, and drink some of that energy shit my grandpa has in his basement, we'll pull through." Rainbow grimaced. "Should be easy." "And we can start right now!" "Um, in a minute." Rainbow caught her reflection in the mirror. "There's...something...on my face?" "Oh, yeah, that's a fantastic reason to not start right now." Fluttershy stared at the mysterious substance on Rainbow's muzzle. "...Actually, yeah, what is that?" Rainbow's tongue darted out to taste her nose. "I think it's you." "...The hell?" "When I licked your snatch earlier." Rainbow squirted a behemoth amount of whatever was in front of her onto her hooves and viciously scrubbed at her muzzle. "Dash," Fluttershy spoke up, "that isn't a face wash..." "Damn!" Rainbow cursed when getting the crap off her nose went unsuccessfully. "What is it, then?" "Lube." "...Oh." Rainbow drenched her face in cold tap water. "Celestia! Ugh! Blargh!!" Fluttershy looked unimpressed. "So back to that saving-our-flanks thing..." --- insert fancy line break thingy here --- Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy skidded into a certain classroom, breathing hard. Well, Fluttershy was, anyway. She acted like her damn lungs shriveled up. "Stop right there!" Rainbow yelled, puffing out her chest in an attempt to look bigger. And not giving a shit about Fluttershy, who passed out behind her. It took the shocked looks of teachers and poker chips and cards strewn over a table for Rainbow to realize she was in the wrong room. "Um...which way to the newsroom?" Rainbow Dash repeated her previous "Stop right there!" performance upon entering the newsroom, plus the possession of an unconscious Fluttershy. The colt who had taken the photo of them froze, along with the other foals holding multiple copies of the school newspaper. "Guys, I got this." The small group of newsponies parted to reveal a magenta earth filly with a golden mane and tail and treasure chest cutie mark. "Name's Hidden Treasure." Rainbow looked ready to smack this bitch. "I got the picture of you sucking on your friend's clit." Rainbow was about to smack this bitch. "You're kinda hot." The urge to smack the bitch subsided. Then Rainbow felt a pair of lips pressed against her own. This random slut was making out with her. And she was totally okay with it. But she couldn't move. The shock and surprise of the kiss had left her frozen in place. The newsponies took this opportunity to leave with the evidence. Unbeknownst to Rainbow, Hidden Treasure flashed her a glance that read "We both know I did that to distract you, you're ugly as shit." Or something like that. Rainbow Dash remained standing there for the longest time until Fluttershy pummeled her to the floor. "What the hell happened?! They're not here. You let them get away!" "Fucking hot skank." "What?" "Nothing. Let's get out of here." Author's Note I had way too much fun writing this chapter. By the way, Hidden Treasure isn't an OC. She's from some G3 pony with the same name. A break from the plot."We're dead. We're dead. We'redeadwe'redeadwe'redead." "Dash. Relax." "I can't relax! If our parents see that paper, they're going to eviscerate us!" Despite everything, Rainbow Dash felt somewhat proud of her correct use of that word. "You're overreacting. They'll get over it in a week or two. Parents always do." By the time the fillies returned to Rainbow's house, it was dark, and the moon was peeking out over the clouds. "Honey!" Rainbow's mom crushed her daughter (and Fluttershy, who unfortunately was forced into the situation) in a hug. "Oh, we're so glad you're home." Rainbow's father motioned to Fluttershy with a deep blue hoof. "And who's your friend?" "Fluffershine," Rainbow said. Rainbow's mother was confused. "I thought her name was Fittershrub." "Fluttershy," Fluttershy corrected, elbowing Rainbow in the side. "My name is Fluttershy." "Hey, can Fluttershy sleep over?" Rainbow queried, wings buzzing excitedly. She hadn't had a friend sleep over before. A hobo did once, but never a friend. "Sure," Rainbow's dad looked at Fluttershy, "if it's all right with her parents." One uneventful phone call later, Fluttershy was sleeping over at Rainbow Dash's house. "No talking about colts up there, you hear?" Rainbow's father yelled up from downstairs. "You're still too young to date!" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Okay, Dad!" She leaned in close to Fluttershy. "So let's talk about the colt that took the photo." "Right. He's fucking ugly as hell." "That's not what I meant." Rainbow paced around her compact bedroom. "Do we have any more chances of getting back that photo and pretending like this never happened?" "Well, yeah, but they're pretty slim." "How slim?" "About 1 in a billion." "Fuck." "Dinner!" Rainbow's mother's voice drifted up from the kitchen. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash seated themselves at the tiny dining room table. Rainbow's parents brought in heaping dishes of salad, fruit, and mashed potatoes. "Champagne, my dear?" Rainbow's dad popped the cork off a fresh bottle. Rainbow's mom pushed her glass closer to him, and he filled it up to the brim with sparkling wine. Rainbow pushed her dinky little plastic cup closer to him, but he said no. The ponies ate in silence until Rainbow's mother cleared her throat. "So, fillies, how was school today?" "It sucked." Rainbow stabbed a piece of cantaloupe with her fork. "Next question?" "We took a quiz," Fluttershy offered as a conversation starter. "Oh! Did you get it back yet?" Rainbow's dad addressed Fluttershy but looked directly at Rainbow Dash. "Not yet," the carnation-maned filly replied. More silence ensued. "Some dyke made out with me." Rainbow's dad's fork fell from his grip and clattered on his plate. Fluttershy clamped a hoof over her mouth and muttered a curse word under her breath. Everyone looked at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow shrugged. "She asked." Author's Note Lel The ending.The sun rose, pushing back the indigo colors of the night and bringing forth a blue sky. It was a bright, chipper new day. For everyone else. Rainbow awoke with her mane messier than usual, and was in a decent mood. For about ten seconds. Then the events of yesterday came crashing back to her like some sick tidal wave. She heaved herself out of bed and took sixteen seconds out of her morning to brush through her fucked up hair. She trudged down the stairs and collapsed into her usual place at the kitchen table. "Can I just fall into a coma for the rest of my life?" "But then you wouldn't be able to eat your favorite cereal." Rainbow's mother set a bowl of W⌾nderb⌾lts in front of her. The sugary doughnut-shaped blue and orange flakes swam lazily in milk. Rainbow happily devoured this. Then she had to go to school, and her happiness died. Even though Rainbow protested she had to stay home and mourn, because it was the least she could do for her deceased happiness, her parents still made her go to school. Rainbow begrudgingly cantered down the cloudy road. Bees attacked her and only added to her frustration. "Fuck you!" she screamed at them, and of course when she did some Pegasus flew by. She arrived at school, an enraged expression (and three bee stings) prominent on her face. She softened when she saw Fluttershy trotting toward her. "Hey. I tried to get the photo back but, uh...it didn't end well." "What happened?" Fluttershy pulled four X-rays and a restraining order out of her saddlebags. "Oh. Damn." Class started, and the hot bitch who kissed Rainbow Dash stood at the front of the room. "Hey, everypony!" she called out to the class. "The latest edition of Little Wonderbolts Elementary School newspaper is out, so grab a copy today!" She locked eyes with Rainbow. "Its front page headline is a juicy one." "Yes, yes, that's very nice Hidden Treasure, now sit down." The teacher pushed her away and began a new lesson, which for once Rainbow was thankful for. Rainbow dreaded the end of the day, but like all shitty things it came with a vengeance. Foal after foal picked up a newspaper. Foal after foal made fun of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Foal after foal went home with a bruise on their cheek and tears streaming down their ugly face. Rainbow and Fluttershy had another one of their amazing pep talks in the former's parents' bathroom. "We're fucked." "Technically I'm the only one fucked, since you—" "Fluttershy, you know what I mean." Suddenly the sound of the front door slamming shut interrupted their chat. "Uh, hello?" Rainbow heard her mother say. "Is this the Dash residence?" A booming voice shouted. "Aw, shit." Fluttershy covered her eyes with her hooves. "That's my dad." They continued to listen in on the conversation beneath them. "Yes, and you are...?" "Fluttershy's dad. Is your daughter home?" "She's upstairs. I'll go—" Hooves stomped up the stairs. "Ohcrapohcrapohcrap—" Fluttershy's breathing accelerated. The door swung open, and Fluttershy's dad's face hovered an inch away from the cowering fillies'. "You!" He shouted, pointing at the rainbow-maned one. "You fucked my daughter! You completely ate her out! What is wrong with you?!" Rainbow wished she could move farther away from him, because his spit was landing in her face. "Wait, Dad! She didn't eat me!" Fluttershy shouted, misinterpreting what he said. "Look! I'm all right here!" She frantically stood up and whirled around, exposing her filly parts to her father. Rainbow tried not to look, and Fluttershy's dad ordered his daughter to turn back around. "Look, Mr. Fluttershy," Rainbow started. "I know what I did was wrong, and I probably won't do it again—" "Probably?!" "—but I think it'd be best if we just keep this on the down low and don't mention anything to the cops. Wouldn't you agree?" She offered a sheepish smile. Minutes later, police cars whooped, their lights tinting everything blue and red. "Wait! Fluttershy!" Rainbow screamed as she was being forced into one of the cars. "We were supposed to be cellmates!!" Author's Note Oh look a fanfic I didn't give up on halfway through. And that thing with the bees happened to my mom. It was hilarious. Hope you enjoyed!
That escalated quickly.It was your average, sunny day in Cloudsdale. Birds flew overhead, wispy clouds floated lazily in the sky, and the cheerful sound of foals laughing and playing filled the air. It was your average, sunny day in Cloudsdale, at least before a certain rainbow-maned filly fucked everything up. Rainbow Dash sat at her schooldesk, bored out of her mind. They were learning about multiplying fractions or some shit. Why this information was crucial to her life, she had no idea. Eventually the teacher stopped her tedious droning long enough to introduce a transfer student from Bunny Hills Elementary School, who had trotted in at that point with an older pony. Her name was Fluttershy, a gangly butter-yellow Pegasus with bubblegum-hued mane and tail. Rainbow rested a hoof over her grumbling stomach. This filly was making her crave carnival food. Fluttershy froze while the teacher tried to make her feel welcome or whatever. She seemed overwhelmed at the amount of ponies staring at her. Well, duh, Rainbow thought. You're fresh meat. You stand out like a clown at a funeral. Everyone's gonna be looking at you. What's-her-face took her seat in the desk directly next to Rainbow's. Wait, what's your name again? The teacher continued with her damn lesson. Flittersqueak seemed to be ahead of most of the students in the class, because she raised her hoof at every opportunity and called out the correct answers. Rainbow snorted. Teacher's pet. The cyan filly spaced out for most of the rest of the class period. She regained mental consciousness when Fightersky slapped a pile of papers on her desktop. The fuck? "We're taking a quiz," Fatherspy whispered. "Oh," Rainbow said. "On what?" Flippersly flashed her an odd look, then turned her attention to her paper. Rainbow gingerly took a quiz, behaving as if it were infected with the avian flu, and tossed the stack at the colt on her other side. Okay, number one. I can do this! Rainbow gnawed on her pencil eraser. Number one...hmm...nummmber one...uh... Rainbow glanced up at her classmates. They were slouched over their quizzes, scribbling. Fucking shit. Her cerise eyes flitted over to Flubberscrub, then at her answers. After checking to make sure the teacher wasn't looking, she copied off her quiz, changing a few answers on purpose to avoid suspicion. Flatter—Fuck it, Rainbow gave up on guessing her name. I'll just call her Yellowquiet. Yellowquiet scrawled the last answer on her quiz and placed it on the teacher's desk. They exchanged smiles. Rainbow rolled her eyes. The light-colored Pegasus returned to her own desk and, not knowing what else to do, played with her mane. Rainbow eyed her in admiration. She has a pretty mane. Maybe I should shoot the breeze with her and we could become friends. Then I'd teach her illegal stuff. And we would get arrested and become cellmates. Rainbow poked Yellowquiet with her pencil eraser, forgetting she had chewed on it earlier. The outcome was remnants of saliva sticking to her arm. Ah, shit. Yellowquiet startled and swiveled in her seat to face her. "Um. Hello." "I really like your mane," the light blue filly murmured to her. "Oh!" Yellowquiet stroked her hair self-consciously. "Thanks." Rainbow nodded, and remembering she still had hell in the form of paper lying on her desk, turned in her quiz. Finally at noon the bell shrilled, and all the foals shoved their way out of the classroom. Rainbow Dash and Yellowquiet were the first ones out. The teacher led everyone down to the ground to eat. Last time ~~Rainbow Dash~~ some idiot dropped ~~her~~ their entire lunch off a cloud and took out a rickety old mare, whose equally old husband sued the school. They weren't going to let that happen again. Rainbow joined Yellowquiet under a tree a little away from everypony else. The smaller Pegasus chowed down on her sandwich right away, but Yellowquiet took her time laying each food item carefully on paper napkins on the grass. "Um, whatcha eatin' there?" The pink-haired Pegasus cocked her head, gandering at Rainbow's mysterious lunch. "A waffle sandwich," Rainbow replied simply, as if a waffle between two pieces of bread wasn't the weirdest food combination ever. "Ah." Yellowquiet looked between her lunch options, trying to decide which to eat first: a peanut butter and daisy sandwich, a box of apple juice, baby carrot sticks, and a vanilla pudding cup. She finally picked the carrot sticks, daintily eating each one until the napkin they were on was clean. "So, uh, Yello—er...what's your name?" "Fluttershy." "Yes. That. That name. Fluttershy. You wanna come over to my place later?" "Oh, I'd love to! And...I have a question for you. But it's, um, sort of hard to ask..." "Ask away." Rainbow took another bite of her waffle sandwich. "You wanna fuck?" Rainbow choked on her waffle sandwich. After a minute or so of coughing, spluttering, Fluttershy failing at the Heimlich maneuver, and a spit-covered chunk of waffle plunging into the dirt, Rainbow screeched, "What?!" "Fuck. You know. Make love, mate, have sex..." "I know what it means! Just...what?!" "Oh, come on. You're acting like you've never been associated with a horny filly before." "No! ...Okay, maybe, but it was just my cousin's neighbor's niece! And we didn't even get to—" "Oh, whoa, okay, I don't need to know. But do you?" "Do I what?" Fluttershy fixed her with an irritated stare. "Want. To. Fuck." "Oh! Uh...sure?" Bad move. A flash and shutter sound interrupted their fun, prompting Rainbow to swiftly remove her tongue from Fluttershy's nether regions. A photo dropped out into the hooves of a colt in some geeky uniform neither filly recognized, who only had seven words as a response to what he'd seen. "This'll look great in the school paper." Author's Note Sorry, I'm not that great at writing. I kinda tried to do this the way I imagined Rainbow's point of view to be. Suggestions for improvement are welcome.
The somewhat adventure part of the story."Shit, fuck, damn, hell, crap...every swear word that's ever existed!" It was the end of the school day, and Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy were walking to the former's house. "Dash, it's not that bad. The paper isn't even out yet." "Well, it's gonna be out, and then our lives will be ruined!" Rainbow kicked at a loose chunk of cloud. The two were silent until they reached their fluffy destination. "Hello, sweetie," Rainbow's mom, a purplish-blue mare with styled pink hair, nuzzled her daughter. Rainbow grumbled at the affection. Pulling away, she rested a hoof on Fluttershy's shoulder. "This is Fittershrub." "Fluttershy." The pastel filly gave Rainbow a pointed look. "Right, right. Fluttershy. So we're gonna go upstairs don't bother us bye!" And with that, the foals raced up the stairs, leaving Rainbow Dash's mother baffled in the foyer. Rainbow slammed the bathroom door shut in her parents' room. "Enchiladas, quesadillas, tortillas...!" "If you're swearing, you're doing it wrong." "Dah!" Rainbow clasped her forehead with both hooves. "I'm out of profanity." "Okay, look." Fluttershy got all up in Dash's face. "We can stop this. I don't know how, and I don't think we even can, since we're just dumb little fillies who don't make a difference in the world—" "Great pep talk." "—but if we just don't let anything stand in our way, and drink some of that energy shit my grandpa has in his basement, we'll pull through." Rainbow grimaced. "Should be easy." "And we can start right now!" "Um, in a minute." Rainbow caught her reflection in the mirror. "There's...something...on my face?" "Oh, yeah, that's a fantastic reason to not start right now." Fluttershy stared at the mysterious substance on Rainbow's muzzle. "...Actually, yeah, what is that?" Rainbow's tongue darted out to taste her nose. "I think it's you." "...The hell?" "When I licked your snatch earlier." Rainbow squirted a behemoth amount of whatever was in front of her onto her hooves and viciously scrubbed at her muzzle. "Dash," Fluttershy spoke up, "that isn't a face wash..." "Damn!" Rainbow cursed when getting the crap off her nose went unsuccessfully. "What is it, then?" "Lube." "...Oh." Rainbow drenched her face in cold tap water. "Celestia! Ugh! Blargh!!" Fluttershy looked unimpressed. "So back to that saving-our-flanks thing..." --- insert fancy line break thingy here --- Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy skidded into a certain classroom, breathing hard. Well, Fluttershy was, anyway. She acted like her damn lungs shriveled up. "Stop right there!" Rainbow yelled, puffing out her chest in an attempt to look bigger. And not giving a shit about Fluttershy, who passed out behind her. It took the shocked looks of teachers and poker chips and cards strewn over a table for Rainbow to realize she was in the wrong room. "Um...which way to the newsroom?" Rainbow Dash repeated her previous "Stop right there!" performance upon entering the newsroom, plus the possession of an unconscious Fluttershy. The colt who had taken the photo of them froze, along with the other foals holding multiple copies of the school newspaper. "Guys, I got this." The small group of newsponies parted to reveal a magenta earth filly with a golden mane and tail and treasure chest cutie mark. "Name's Hidden Treasure." Rainbow looked ready to smack this bitch. "I got the picture of you sucking on your friend's clit." Rainbow was about to smack this bitch. "You're kinda hot." The urge to smack the bitch subsided. Then Rainbow felt a pair of lips pressed against her own. This random slut was making out with her. And she was totally okay with it. But she couldn't move. The shock and surprise of the kiss had left her frozen in place. The newsponies took this opportunity to leave with the evidence. Unbeknownst to Rainbow, Hidden Treasure flashed her a glance that read "We both know I did that to distract you, you're ugly as shit." Or something like that. Rainbow Dash remained standing there for the longest time until Fluttershy pummeled her to the floor. "What the hell happened?! They're not here. You let them get away!" "Fucking hot skank." "What?" "Nothing. Let's get out of here." Author's Note I had way too much fun writing this chapter. By the way, Hidden Treasure isn't an OC. She's from some G3 pony with the same name.
A break from the plot."We're dead. We're dead. We'redeadwe'redeadwe'redead." "Dash. Relax." "I can't relax! If our parents see that paper, they're going to eviscerate us!" Despite everything, Rainbow Dash felt somewhat proud of her correct use of that word. "You're overreacting. They'll get over it in a week or two. Parents always do." By the time the fillies returned to Rainbow's house, it was dark, and the moon was peeking out over the clouds. "Honey!" Rainbow's mom crushed her daughter (and Fluttershy, who unfortunately was forced into the situation) in a hug. "Oh, we're so glad you're home." Rainbow's father motioned to Fluttershy with a deep blue hoof. "And who's your friend?" "Fluffershine," Rainbow said. Rainbow's mother was confused. "I thought her name was Fittershrub." "Fluttershy," Fluttershy corrected, elbowing Rainbow in the side. "My name is Fluttershy." "Hey, can Fluttershy sleep over?" Rainbow queried, wings buzzing excitedly. She hadn't had a friend sleep over before. A hobo did once, but never a friend. "Sure," Rainbow's dad looked at Fluttershy, "if it's all right with her parents." One uneventful phone call later, Fluttershy was sleeping over at Rainbow Dash's house. "No talking about colts up there, you hear?" Rainbow's father yelled up from downstairs. "You're still too young to date!" Rainbow rolled her eyes. "Okay, Dad!" She leaned in close to Fluttershy. "So let's talk about the colt that took the photo." "Right. He's fucking ugly as hell." "That's not what I meant." Rainbow paced around her compact bedroom. "Do we have any more chances of getting back that photo and pretending like this never happened?" "Well, yeah, but they're pretty slim." "How slim?" "About 1 in a billion." "Fuck." "Dinner!" Rainbow's mother's voice drifted up from the kitchen. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash seated themselves at the tiny dining room table. Rainbow's parents brought in heaping dishes of salad, fruit, and mashed potatoes. "Champagne, my dear?" Rainbow's dad popped the cork off a fresh bottle. Rainbow's mom pushed her glass closer to him, and he filled it up to the brim with sparkling wine. Rainbow pushed her dinky little plastic cup closer to him, but he said no. The ponies ate in silence until Rainbow's mother cleared her throat. "So, fillies, how was school today?" "It sucked." Rainbow stabbed a piece of cantaloupe with her fork. "Next question?" "We took a quiz," Fluttershy offered as a conversation starter. "Oh! Did you get it back yet?" Rainbow's dad addressed Fluttershy but looked directly at Rainbow Dash. "Not yet," the carnation-maned filly replied. More silence ensued. "Some dyke made out with me." Rainbow's dad's fork fell from his grip and clattered on his plate. Fluttershy clamped a hoof over her mouth and muttered a curse word under her breath. Everyone looked at Rainbow Dash. Rainbow shrugged. "She asked." Author's Note Lel
The ending.The sun rose, pushing back the indigo colors of the night and bringing forth a blue sky. It was a bright, chipper new day. For everyone else. Rainbow awoke with her mane messier than usual, and was in a decent mood. For about ten seconds. Then the events of yesterday came crashing back to her like some sick tidal wave. She heaved herself out of bed and took sixteen seconds out of her morning to brush through her fucked up hair. She trudged down the stairs and collapsed into her usual place at the kitchen table. "Can I just fall into a coma for the rest of my life?" "But then you wouldn't be able to eat your favorite cereal." Rainbow's mother set a bowl of W⌾nderb⌾lts in front of her. The sugary doughnut-shaped blue and orange flakes swam lazily in milk. Rainbow happily devoured this. Then she had to go to school, and her happiness died. Even though Rainbow protested she had to stay home and mourn, because it was the least she could do for her deceased happiness, her parents still made her go to school. Rainbow begrudgingly cantered down the cloudy road. Bees attacked her and only added to her frustration. "Fuck you!" she screamed at them, and of course when she did some Pegasus flew by. She arrived at school, an enraged expression (and three bee stings) prominent on her face. She softened when she saw Fluttershy trotting toward her. "Hey. I tried to get the photo back but, uh...it didn't end well." "What happened?" Fluttershy pulled four X-rays and a restraining order out of her saddlebags. "Oh. Damn." Class started, and the hot bitch who kissed Rainbow Dash stood at the front of the room. "Hey, everypony!" she called out to the class. "The latest edition of Little Wonderbolts Elementary School newspaper is out, so grab a copy today!" She locked eyes with Rainbow. "Its front page headline is a juicy one." "Yes, yes, that's very nice Hidden Treasure, now sit down." The teacher pushed her away and began a new lesson, which for once Rainbow was thankful for. Rainbow dreaded the end of the day, but like all shitty things it came with a vengeance. Foal after foal picked up a newspaper. Foal after foal made fun of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash. Foal after foal went home with a bruise on their cheek and tears streaming down their ugly face. Rainbow and Fluttershy had another one of their amazing pep talks in the former's parents' bathroom. "We're fucked." "Technically I'm the only one fucked, since you—" "Fluttershy, you know what I mean." Suddenly the sound of the front door slamming shut interrupted their chat. "Uh, hello?" Rainbow heard her mother say. "Is this the Dash residence?" A booming voice shouted. "Aw, shit." Fluttershy covered her eyes with her hooves. "That's my dad." They continued to listen in on the conversation beneath them. "Yes, and you are...?" "Fluttershy's dad. Is your daughter home?" "She's upstairs. I'll go—" Hooves stomped up the stairs. "Ohcrapohcrapohcrap—" Fluttershy's breathing accelerated. The door swung open, and Fluttershy's dad's face hovered an inch away from the cowering fillies'. "You!" He shouted, pointing at the rainbow-maned one. "You fucked my daughter! You completely ate her out! What is wrong with you?!" Rainbow wished she could move farther away from him, because his spit was landing in her face. "Wait, Dad! She didn't eat me!" Fluttershy shouted, misinterpreting what he said. "Look! I'm all right here!" She frantically stood up and whirled around, exposing her filly parts to her father. Rainbow tried not to look, and Fluttershy's dad ordered his daughter to turn back around. "Look, Mr. Fluttershy," Rainbow started. "I know what I did was wrong, and I probably won't do it again—" "Probably?!" "—but I think it'd be best if we just keep this on the down low and don't mention anything to the cops. Wouldn't you agree?" She offered a sheepish smile. Minutes later, police cars whooped, their lights tinting everything blue and red. "Wait! Fluttershy!" Rainbow screamed as she was being forced into one of the cars. "We were supposed to be cellmates!!" Author's Note Oh look a fanfic I didn't give up on halfway through. And that thing with the bees happened to my mom. It was hilarious. Hope you enjoyed!
