Pinks 'n Pedro

by TheCastawayPariah

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Random
Length: 8198

Pinkie has an idea for a new TV show. Pineapples etc. ensue.

Pinkie has an idea for a new TV show. Pineapples etc. ensue. Why? Because only Pinkie Pie could conjure up a talk show where the co-host is a pineapple.

Written for Pineapple Rush.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-13 23:10:01 UTC

Epilogue

“YES! HE’S HERE, HE’S FINALLY HERE! I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE WORLD TO MEET HIM!”

Pinkie Pie had been going at it for half an hour now, bouncing back and forth through Sugarcube Corner and the rest of Ponyville with much enthusiasm. She had had to pull her head out of a chimney at one point, but otherwise it had been uninterrupted.

Her friends had decided that this was just her being her regular zany, hyper self, not paying much heed to what she said.

At last, Rainbow Dash decided something needed to be done. “I’m gonna ask her about it,” she said. She flew up to the spot Pinkie happened to be in during another one of her super-jumps and grabbed her by the face. “Who’s here?!” she asked, leaning right in muzzle-to-muzzle with Pinkie.

“Pedro, of course!” replied Pinkie, staying standing in the air even after Rainbow had removed her hooves, not showing a difference between that and standing on the ground. “Wanna meet him?”

Staying in her current pose, she descended down to the ground, jittering a bit on the way down, then skipped happily back into Sugarcube Corner.

The rest of the group started to follow her direction. “So, do y’all suppose this Pedro is a relative o’ hers?” suggested Applejack.

“Then what is he doing all alone in Sugarcube Corner?” questioned Rarity.

“Eh, we’ll find out in due time,” decided Twilight as she headed in, then saw Pinkie going upstairs before a noise came from the pink party pony's bedroom - a creak, which somehow sounded familiar.

"Oh geez. Let's go see what it is," said Rainbow, taking the lead and flying upstairs.

She could now see that the sound had, in fact, been that of the trapdoor Twilight had accidentally discovered back when the Yaks had been visiting. Pinkie grinned at her friends before hopping in. "WHEEEEEEEEEE!" she squealed with delight as she went down the slide.

"Uh... still wanna find out, girls?" Twilight asked her friends.

"Sure, I guess," said AJ. "Ah don't have anythin' else goin' on." She followed suit and headed down the slide. "YEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAW!" she cried in exhilaration. You just can't get too old to enjoy slides.

Twilight was up next. "GERONIMOOOOOO!" was her, hmm... "word of wonder" as she bolted down the slide at high speed.

Rarity simply stood there with her hoof pressed to her lips, trying to think of a word she could yell as she slid down. She shrugged and got down into the trapdoor. "SEQUUUUUIIIIINS!"

An excited Rainbow Dash was just about to go down herself... but she then noticed Fluttershy was still standing, her face partially hidden by her mane.

"Aw, come on, Flutters. Want me to cover your eyes while you're going down?" asked Rainbow

Fluttershy ruminated on that for a few moments, then nodded. So she sat down at the top of the slide but was VERY careful not to actually move. Rainbow got behind and put her hooves over her friend's eyes, then gave her a little push, sending both of them down the slide.

"EEEEEEEEK! I CAN'T SEE WHAT'S AHEAD!" Fluttershy yelled in terror as the wind blew past her.

Rainbow took the best cause she thought appropriate and took her hooves away.

"AAAAAAAAH! IT LOOKS SO SCARY!" shrieked Fluttershy.

Rainbow sighed. "Okay, Flutters, I'm gonna put my hooves back over your eyes. And when I do, imagine you're flying as fast as you can to... tend to a sick animal."

Once her vision was covered again, Fluttershy got the image ready in her mind of everything going past her as she flew to the aid of a poor, helpless animal that needed her help...

Which turned to her going smack-dab right into a wall and stopping suddenly.

The "wall" turned out to be Rarity's rump. All five of them were in a pile at the slide's end.

Applejack got up and dusted herself off. "Everypony okay?"

"And so it begins," declared Pinkie. "Everypony, I welcome you to..." She plucked a pineapple off a plant and held it up for them to see. "Pedro!"

Rainbow eyed the pineapple and gasped. "Oh no, she's gone nuts again! What did we do now?! I swear we're not hiding anything from you or ending our friendship!"

"No, silly!" giggled Pinkie. "Pedro and I are gonna be famous!"

"Fame from PINEAPPLES?! BLASPHEMY!" exclaimed Applejack.

"Uh, I hate to break it to you, Pinkie," said Twilight, "but pineapples have existed for centuries. You aren't revolutionizing the world by growing them. Even if they do take a very long time..."

"I know that!" replied Pinkie. "Pedro and I are gonna have our own show!"

Rarity looked at her blankly, and cleaned her ears quickly to make sure she was hearing this right. "Show, you say?"

"Yeppers!" confirmed Pinkie.

"You see, for ages now, I've had the idea for a talk show where a pineapple and I sit and discuss the current affairs and whatnot, and now I finally have the companion I need to make it happen! He's been growing for all this time! I named him Pedro because that's just SO perfect! I was gonna name him Peter since that's also perfect, but Pedro is even perfecter!"

"Any questions?" she asked.

"Pinkie, if I may?" said Twilight. "A. You slightly misused the word 'perfect'."

"I see," replied Pinkie. "Well, we can't all be dictionaries on legs."

"B. Why not just buy a pineapple?"

"Because then it wouldn't be close to me!" answered Pinkie. "I'm pretty sure Daisy would be coming for me viciously waving a hedge-trimmer if I pulled out all her lovely flowers and replaced them with store-bought ones."

"Right... C. There is no way that this is going to work. The concept of a pineapple being your co-host could only work in a children's programme. I mean, if that isn't what you're planning on doing..."

"Oh no, not at all," said Pinkie, shaking her head. "This is to be geared for all audiences and aired on the right channel to reflect that."

The rest of the ponies exchanged glances. "Pinkie Pie, dear," said Rarity, forcing a laugh in her voice as she went to stand beside Pinkie. "What do you say we get you an ice pack and a comfortable place to lie down on?"

"I'd be delighted to," answered Pinkie. "Right after I get back from Manehattan. I've an idea to pitch!"

She put her rump back down on the slide and slid back up. "!EEEEEEEEEEHW" she exclaimed as she did so.

Twilight watched her, then turned her attention back to the other four. "Can't wait to find out what friendship lesson we get out of THIS one..."

Chapter I

The bustling streets of Manehattan hadn’t changed much since Pinkie’s last visit. There were still ponies coming from all directions in a rush, on the sidewalk, across the road, and flying above, and there were many taxis around in the rush hour traffic. Pinkie was doing something you rarely saw somepony in such a crowded and busy setting do - smiling, with a literal spring in her step.

Now she had the place she wanted. Manehattan Telecommunications Tower, that skyscraper which had antennas at the top. The automatic doors opened for her, allowing her in.

Pinkie found herself in a wide, looming hallway, with a glass booth at the side. She went there first, and looked at the dark brown, blue-maned stallion behind the glass looking through some papers, whose eyes simply looked up at her before he said in a boring and dull voice, “Hello, welcome to Manehattan Telecommunications Tower.”

“Hi!” greeted Pinkie in a high note. She blew on the window and used her hoof to draw a smiley face in front of the receptionist’s expression. Much better.

The receptionist groaned and flipped the glass around. “Please don’t do that to the glass, miss,” he said as he wiped off Pinkie’s “artwork”. “So, what is your clearance?”

“Special delivery!” Pinkie held up an envelope.

“Is that the transmission efficiency for apparatus servicing and maintenance report?”

Pinkie tilted her head. “That’s booooore-ing! Why not call it ‘cupcakes rainbows huggles uranium friendship marigold’?”

The receptionist groaned. “Ma’am, I don’t claim to enjoy this job.”

Pinkie frowned, which then turned to a big smile as she pulled something out of her saddlebag. Her trusty camera. “Say cheese!”

The receptionist rolled his eyes and hid his face in his hooves before he looked up and managed to contort his face into a not-so-sincere smile. You could tell by looking at his eyes.

Pinkie, deciding that this was as good as she was getting out of him, took the photo anyway. “Well, it was nice talking with ya…” She showed him the photo then trotted off.

The receptionist got back to work.

“And have a great day!” Pinkie returned by surprise and threw a bunch of confetti at the glass, then sped off.

The receptionist grr’d and went to the other side of the glass with a dustpan and brush.

“Hey, nice tie!” Pinkie complimented a smartly-dressed mare with a blue and white checkered tie as part of her attire. “Hey, nice tie!” said Pinkie again to a middle-aged mare dressed the exact same way. “Hey, nice tie!” she told a similarly-dressed stallion.

This went on for about 3-4 minutes until Pinkie finally got to what she thought was the entrance to the CEO’s office. She knocked on the door - four quick raps followed by two slow ones, another four raps followed by another two slow ones, then the same combination, except she did the four-knock section three times. Soon after, the door opened to reveal a stout stallion in uniform. He inspected her for a few moments. “Aren't you one of those Elements of Harmonica or somethin’?” he asked.

“Sure!” Pinkie reached into her bag and held up a wind instrument. “Anyway… it’s your lucky day, Mr. Businesspony!”

“Please,” said the stallion. “You may refer to me as Chief Assets.”

“Well then, it’s your lucky day, Chief Assets!” Pinkie held up her envelope and showed it to him.

“Is this another one of those pitches?” he asked, his eyes half-closed. “Lady, you’re wastin’ your time. This isn’t how showbusiness works. I had a mare come here last Hearth’s Warming Eve with something like this. I think she was another one of those Elements…”

“Even if you say no, I haven’t wasted my time!” said Pinks.

“Huh? And why’s that?”

“Because you and I got to know somepony new!” Pinkie cheered.

“Yeah, yeah, magic of friendship and all that,” said Assets. “But anyway, as for your goal of getting whatever this is made into a show, you did waste your time.”

Pinkie pouted sadly and hung her head. “Aww… please?” She looked up at Assets with the most adorable and pitiable pair of puppy dog eyes he ever did see.

He covered his eyes with his foreleg. “Gah, stop that! It’s bad for business!”

Pinkie seemed confused. “Bad for business how?”

“Because it causes me to make decisions like this,” snapped Chief Assets as he took the envelope before going back into his office.

“Is that a yes?” asked Pinkie. There was no reply. “Meh. I’ll take it as that.” And with that, she got to happily skipping back the way she came.

“And he actually agreed to take a look at it!” gushed Pinkie to the mare, now that she was on the train going home.

“That sure does sound fascinating,” said the mare, smiling. “We need more minds like yours to make talk shows less boring.”

“Is it just me, or is this seat a little uncomfortable and hard…” commented Pinkie. “So, do you ride on the train often?”

“On in it, or on on it?” asked the mare.

Yeah, Pinkie was literally on the train. She had her head poking upside down through the window next to the mare she was talking to, and her tail blowing in the wind.

“...The first one,” replied Pinkie. “I don’t usually do this, but there didn’t seem to be a spare seat.”

“Well, in that case, yes, I do ride the train quite often,” replied the mare, nodding. “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”

Pinkie shrugged. “I just gave my ticket to the conductor and he told me to sit anywhere.”

The mare’s face contorted into a goofy grin before she gave a spout of laughter, clenching her chest. “OH! OH DEAR LUNA! You better make this talk show a thing! ‘Cause I will be tuning in every week!”

“Don’t you mean ‘day’?” asked Pinkie.

“Every day? You sure that’ll work out?”

“Back in Ponyville, there’s usually something going on,” explained Pinkie matter-of-factly.

“There is? I do believe I’ve heard of a few incidents there…” replied the other pony. “Well, it’s been nice talking with you, miss…?”

“Pinkamena Diane Pie! But my friends just call me Pinkie Pie,” the party mare told her.

“Rose Petal,” the other pony finally introduced herself. “Well, we’re about to stop. Have a nice day!”

“See you-” The train grinded to an abrupt halt and Pinkie was flung up and sent rocketing across the sky. “-laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer!”

“Mr. Abercromb was clearly a good soul, having a positive impact on our society,” said Mr. Waddle, standing next to a coffin and a photograph. There was a crowd of ponies gathered for today’s service sat on the rows of chairs, here to respectfully pay their homage to the unfortunate loss of a stallion.

Mr. Waddle looked up and held his forelegs in the air. “Our dear lord… when shall the day ever come when laughter falls upon us once more?”

One stallion in the crowd looked up at the sky and noticed something oddly bright getting bigger and bigger…

Just then, it came down and landed in Mr. Waddle’s arms, sending them both to the ground.

Pinkie Pie got up and looked down at him. “Oh, um, sorry,” she said with her bashful smile, helping the poor fellow up. She looked around at where she was, and saw the crowd of ponies open-mouthed at the whole spectacle. “Oh… double sorry…” she said awkwardly. She tiptoed to her right a bit before she zoomed away in a blur of pink.

Chapter I 1/2

“I… still can’t believe this is happening,” said Rainbow blankly as she and the rest of the gang sat at the table in the Castle of Friendship as Pinkie bounced around happily with a letter in her mouth.

“Well, it is,” said Pinkie in lively spirits.

“Why anypony would accept the very idea is one of ponykind’s greatest mysteries…” Rainbow Dash now had her hooves resting on her temples.

“Now, don’t worry, Rainbow Dash,” said Twilight. “There’s no real evidence they actually accepted Pinkie’s idea. That letter could be totally fake.”

“Oh, please, stop it, you two!” said Fluttershy, seeming a bit annoyed, which made the other mares (and the dragon) in the room (turn to look at her). “I’ve had enough of hearing this! You ponies are constantly putting Pinkie down and rejecting her ideas! Is that what friendship is about? Well?”

Twilight and Rainbow looked down at the floor glumly. “No it isn’t…” replied Dash.

Fluttershy smiled at them before turning to Pinkie Pie. “Now then, Pinkie Pie… are you sure you’re up to the task?” she asked. “It’s not just that the idea sounds a bit…” How could she put this… “...outside convention… but running a show sounds like it’d be hard work.”

“Don’t you worry any!” said Pinkie. “I’ve had this planned for ages now! Even before I met Twilight. But don’t worry, Twily! I started planning to get you a guest role as soon as I did.”

“If this defies the laws of nature and succeeds, I don’t want to be part of something so preposterous,” deadpanned said unicorn, before Fluttershy frowned at her.

“I do commend you on growing pineapples yourself, though,” Rarity told Pinkie. “I know they usually take upward of and including two years!”

Pinkie beamed. “Aw, shucks, Rarity. This is why I’ll be giving all you ponies-” She glanced at Spike, who was asleep. “-and dragon - a very special shout out!”

Spike woke up. “Huh, what? Rarity? Shout out? Jewels?” he said groggily.

“Uh… not exactly the jewel part,” Pinkie remedied him. “It can be if you want!”

“A shout out on her talk show, the dear means,” Rarity told him.

“Oh, yeah. That,” replied Spike. “I stopped listening when she mentioned a pineapple co-host.”

“I know, right? Because you were so astounded at the idea!” said Pinkie.

“Uh… sure. Astounded.” Spike got up. “I’m gonna go get a snack.” He walked off.

“Well, I’d better get home. I hope y’all have-” Pinkie got an apple thrown at her head. She paused, then started again. “I hope you all have a good night’s sleep! Nighty-night!”

Pinkie’s friends watched her depart before they began their conversation.

“You know what you said about friendship lessons this morning, Twilight?” asked Fluttershy. “I think it’ll be one for just you, Rainbow Dash, and Spike. And besides, didn’t we already learn this one?”

“That was different!” protested Rainbow.

“How so?”

Rainbow stuttered. “I-it just is!”

“Y’know what?” AJ added. “Fluttershy is right. S’our duty as friends who’re…” She glanced at Rainbow Dash. “...loyal…” She glanced at Rarity. “...generous...” She glanced at Twilight. “...magic… ah guess......to support Pinks. Who knows? Could turn outta be somethin’ big.”

“I know that, AJ,” responded Twilight. “But you can’t just switch your feelings on and off at will. And my feelings towards a talk show starring a pineapple is… well…”

“Look, I know how you feel about things you don’t understand, Twilight,” said Rainbow. “The Pinkie Sense… curses… magical errors… telemarketers speaking in a really thick accent…”

“Can we not offer creative minds a chance?” asked Rarity. “Why, remember the time I had a burst of creativity when all six of us urgently needed dresses for the Grand Galloping Gala?”

“Oh, we remember it alright,” agreed Dash. “And it failed epically in the first degree.”

Rarity stopped and ruminated on that for a moment. “Oh, um… yes. Sure.”

But Dash wasn’t done yet. “It was an utter trainwreck.”

“Point has been taken, dear…”

“Which had been carrying many tankers of oil before the crash.”

“I UNDERSTAND!” Rarity burst out. “Not a good comparison, I know. But the point is, Pinkie must have a chance. We, as well as other residents of Ponyville, often underestimate her and what she is capable of.”

“You know what, Rares?” said Twilight. “Somehow, I’m starting to think you’re right. Girls, we have to prove our worth as friends by remaining supportive of Pinkie.”

Rainbow raised her hoof. “I resign from this friendship mission.”

“Request denied.” Twilight pointed at Rainbow’s cutie mark, which was glowing.

Rainbow noticed this, and sighed. “Curse glowing butts.”

They heard a clattering, and then Spike came running by with his tail on fire. “AHHHHHH! WHY DID I EVER TRY TO USE THE OVEN IN HERE?!” he cried as he ran frantically.

“You know, Rainbow?” commented Twilight. “I think there might actually be some truth to that phrase.”

“I’ll get the fire extinguisher,” put in Fluttershy.

Chapter II

“You guys are just the bestest friends in the whole wide world, you know that?” said Pinkie happily to Twilight and Rainbow, now that she was on her way back to the Telecommunications Tower, and Twilight and Rainbow had followed her, just because they wanted to see how this would unfold.

“Uh… sure. Bestest friends. In the galaxy,” replied Rainbow unenthusiastically.

Twilight nudged her, then whispered into her ear. “Look, I’m having doubts, like you, but at least I’m trying to show some support.” She went back to speaking to Pinkie. “We’re there for you every step of the way.”

“Aw, shucks, Twi,” said Pinkie happily as they approached the door. She entered, whistling in a cheerful demeanor. Twilight and Rainbow nodded at each other, then subtly followed.

After a trip in the elevator (which had in turn been after another unsuccessful attempt to cheer up the guy behind the counter), Pinkie was now in the upper floors of the building. She followed the instructions written down on her letter, and found herself at a door that she, being Pinkie Pie herself, could just tell was significant.

After a vivid knock, a stallion opened up for her. “Ah, so you’re Pinkamena Diane Pie?”

“You got it right! Pinkie will do, though.”

“Come right in! We’ve been anticipating you.” The stallion gestured into the room for Pinkie to enter, which she did, merrily. “My name is Log Roller, by the way.”

Pinkie’s two Ponyville friends, meanwhile, were hiding behind a rather large potted plant next to the door.

“The ponies you see before you are involved in, or have been involved in, other talk shows,” he went on, gesturing around the table.

So Pinkie got to know the other ponies in the room - Rain Whip, Lovely Bow, Spectrum Dream, - and they were soon passing around ideas to further develop Pinkie’s talk show. However, Pinkie didn’t seem quite so keen on diverging from what she had created - so what they had after an hour or so hadn’t exactly changed from what she had come up with many months ago.

“You don’t even want to do this?”

“How about you change that?”

“I’m sure it would be good to have…”

“I’m sorry, guys,” said Pinkie. “But I’m pretty happy with what I already have.”

“I agree,” said Lovely. “For this to be fair on her, we have to allow her ideas without judgement.”

“Yeah, now that we think about it, I’m pretty sure we all prefer her idea just the way it is,” agreed Spectrum.

“In that case,” said Log Roller with a smile. “I suppose our work in this section is done. Pinkie Pie, you may report back here in a week’s time so we can get started on filming.”

Pinkie’s eyes shone. “I may?! Thank you thank you sooooo much!” In her happiness and gratitude, Pinkie bounced over and gave him a big wet kiss* before saying her farewells to the ponies and bounding away in excitement.

Once she was out the door, she smiled an even bigger smile as she saw her friends. “How do ya like that, huh? They’re making my idea!” she sang with delight.

“What the – how’d you find us?” asked Rainbow.

“I just saw you go behind the potted plant,” explained Pinkie matter-of-factly. “I mean, it was getting pretty crowded in that room. So I’ll give you the scoop – they want to have me back next week to start filming! You have Pinkie Pie herself to thank for this perfect idea!”

“Did you just use ‘Pinkie Pie’ and ‘perfect idea’ in the same sentence?” groaned Rainbow. The pink mare tried to ignore that and simply went back downstairs.

“Go on without me, Twilight…” said Rainbow. “I need some time to properly process exactly what this is that I have witnessed…”

“You’ll miss the train,” Twilight reminded her.

“Trains suck. I have wings. I’ll beat it.”

Chapter III

Well, this was it. Pinkie was going to have to take a considerable absence from her job at Sugarcube Corner. Not quitting, no, not at all. She just had to take leave, which could last quite a while depending on how successful her newfound showbiz was. She was finding it hard to do this, but telling them in advance would surely be better than simply failing to show up when they were expecting her to do her job.

She trotted to the desk and cleared her throat. Mr. and Mrs. Cake looked up from their documents and at Pinkie. “Ah, hello, Pinkie,” said Mr. Cake with a smile. “May we help?”

“Um, yeah…” said Pinkie, fumbling around a bit for the right way of going about this. “You... can put my job on hold for a while.”

The couple looked confused. Whyever would dear Pinkie want to stop working here?

“You see…” said Pinkie. “Manehattan Telecommunications has accepted my idea for a talk show where I sit down and discuss stuff with a pineapple named Pedro.”

Mr. and Mrs. Cake took a few moments to let that sink in, then they had a big, hearty chuckle. “Ah, good one, Pinkie!” said Mrs. Cake. “I should’ve known you didn’t really need to quit here. Even if temporarily.”

“Excuse me?” said Pinkie. “No, no, this is a real thing.” She showed them the letter. After the Cakes skimmed through the letter a few times, they sat there rather stunned. Surely this had to be a clever fake of Pinkie’s. But no, the seal was at the bottom, and not even Pinkie Pie herself could duplicate that. She wasn’t capable of fraud.

“…So you need to take some unpaid leave for a while to be part of this new show?” repeated Mr. Cake.

“I can still have my job back if I return, right?” asked Pinkie.

“Of… of course, dear,” Mrs. Cake told her, more than a little perplexed. “You’re one of our most trustworthy and loyal workers.”

“That’s so great!” said Pinkie. She gave them each a great big hug. “I’ve got my suitcase here. And I’ll be off!”

She took her suitcase, left, and after going back in to give them another farewell (four times), she was headed for the station.

Pinkie stumbled upon a most peculiar sight when she got to the station – Rainbow Dash slumped out on the platform’s bench, gasping for breath in exhaustion. “Maybe trains aren’t so shabby after all…”

Now that her train had arrived, Pinkie got into a carriage, put her suitcase up in the storage compartment, and sat down, very eager to get going.

“Where’re you off to?” asked Steamer the driver, recognizing Pinkie from two previous journeys.

“Manehattan!” replied Pinkie.

“Is that a regular thing with you?” asked Steamer.

“You bet it will be!” answered Pinks, tapping the seat in anticipation.

Well, Steamer had seen stranger things in his time. He got out of the carriage and back into the engine cab, and soon the train chugged away, closer to Pinkie’s destination.

Pinkie had taken some mints before coming to ensure her breath was fresh for the occasion. Thank the heavens for mints. They were probably the only candy she could eat without having to brush. She took the way she had taken the last two times she was here at the Telecommunications Tower, and followed the directions she had been given last time.

Of course, the friendly ponies were there to greet her. “Pinkie! Come right in!” said Log Roller, ushering her in. “We can’t wait to get started.”

“We gotta see about getting you looking spick and span for the part,” added Spectrum. “Right this way, if you please.” So Pinkie went over into a booth, where there was an array of perfumes, make up items, and outfits.

“Choose whatever you think looks appropriate, dear,” Lovely told her. Of course, Pinkie was delighted with the options she had, and got to work immediately.

“So… how do I look?” asked Pinkie, stepping out. She grabbed the attention of all the other ponies in the room with her attire of a flashy blue dress with yellow frills at the bottom and sleeve edges.

“It’s beautiful!” commented Log Roller.

“You think so?”

“As soon as we clean your face up, you’ll be ready for filming,” said Spectrum. She directed Pinkie to a mirror, where she could see she looked as if she had used her face to make imprints onto a surface of mascara and lipstick.

One major wipe-up later…

“Now then,” said Rain Whip. “Do you like the set we put together?”

Pinkie opened a door and looked into the large box area that had been arranged. There was a desk with two swirly chairs, and a cabinet at the back with a fruit bowl. On the wall behind the desk was a very large logo of Pinkie’s head laughing with a pineapple.

“Really, guys, you shouldn’t have!” exclaimed Pinkie, rather taken aback. (Uh, yes they should have, Pinkie. Don’t you know how television studios work?) She jumped onto the swirly chair. “WHEEEEEE!” she squealed happily and she spun around, then rode around quickly… she was out of sight when the crew members heard something smash.

“Um… what do you say we use regular chairs for that?” suggested Spectrum Dream.

One change later…

“Now then…” said Log Roller to Pinkie. “What do you think?”

“I LOVE it!” said Pinkie. “So will Pedro!” She held him up to show she had put Pedro in a miniature fancy-looking business suit.

“What do I do now?!” she asked ecstatically.

“Now…” said Log Roller. “We’re going to run some test shoots. Sit down there and put your pineapple friend on the table next to you.”

Pinkie followed the instructions, getting herself ready for the first shoot.

Spectrum started recording, and Pinkie seemed like she had been rehearsing for this her entire life. “Hello, fillies and gentlecolts, and welcome to Pinks ‘n Pedro! Tonight’s schedule is gonna be about the victors of the recent cloudball match, the sudden abundance of geese in Appleloosa for some reason, and of course, what I had for dinner last night! What do you say to that, Pedro?”

…

“Thought so! Aaaaaaaaaand, cut to Cloudsdale!”

Log Roller came in to congratulate Pinkie on her performance. “That, my dear, really was something,” he commended.

“I know, right?” agreed Pinkie. “Now how about getting to Cloudsdale?”

“We don’t have any of that footage yet,” Lovely reminded her.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot.” A sheepish grin followed. This in turn was followed by the sound of the MTT staff giggling with each other.

“You have a natural talent for this, Pinkie!” said Spectrum happily. “If you keep that up, you’ll have top ratings in no time at all!”

“I will?” said Pinkie. “That’s good, because my watch is broken. Good to know I don’t need it.”

Of course, this sent her new friends into another frenzy of giggles and snickers. “Let’s just use this for the first episode!” said Log Roller. “This has gotta be the first time we do that!” Everypony in the room was okay with that idea.

As they were getting ready, Spectrum came to talk to Pinkie. “We’re all getting very lucky, Miss Pie,” she said. “Including you. Not all showbiz runs as swiftly as this. We need more people like you.”

“Good to know!” said Pinkie. “I’ll have us some ripe material to use. Don’t you worry.”

“...And that’s all we’ve got time for, folks. Ready to end it, Pedro?” … “I agree. Until next time, goodbye, good residents of Equestria!”

And then the credits rolled, over which Pinkie’s rambling voice could be heard, which the crew had opted to leave in since they found it so endearing, and it was still so now that they were testing it. After a while of editing, it looked just like they had a quality pilot episode to air.

“I’m taking it to them right now!” declared Pinkie, then ejected the reel and took it out to hand it to the ponies in charge of broadcasting footage.

“Pinkie, dear, wait-” called Spectrum, but it was too late. Pinkie had had her own ideas.

“What’s wrong? I thought you liked it,” said Lovely Bow.

“Oh, I love it, Lovely,” said Log Roller. “All of us do. But we could get in trouble with the boss if he doesn’t know what’s going on…"

“IS THAT NOT AN EASY RULE TO REMEMBER?!” thundered Chief Assets at the group. “When a project is finished, you are to take it up with me before it is put on air!”

Pinkie was starting to tear up. She could have gotten these ponies in major trouble with their big and intimidating CEO, and all because of her overexcitement. She gave them all a hug. “Sorry, guys…”

“It’s quite alright, dear,” said Lovely. “We all know you just wanted to get your masterpiece through to the masses as soon as possible.”

The door opened, and in came another smartly-dressed stallion. “Sir, I think you ought to see this.” He handed Chief Assets a clipboard. The latter pony sighed, knowing that this could symbolise a huge loss for his company.

However, fortunately for everypony involved, it didn’t. This had been to inform him that the first episode of Pinks ‘n Pedro had gotten ratings through the roof. Assets was lost for words and breath, simply looking up and down again with wide eyes.

“...Did we do well?” asked Pinkie.

Chief resumed his plain demeanor. “All of you ought to consider yourselves lucky,” he said to them sternly, to which Pinkie Pie, Log Roller, Spectrum Dream, Lovely Bow, and Rain Whip gave a simultaneous sigh of relief.

Log Roller got up and looked at the clipboard to confirm that the plan had indeed gone swimmingly. Pinkie had gotten an average of 4.6 out of 5.

“We still do have problems,” said the other stallion who had brought the clipboard.

“And what would that be?” asked Log Roller.

“Our viewers are demanding more episodes.”

Spectrum realized. “Oh yes, of course…” They had not arranged a schedule.

“No problem at all,” Pinkie assured them. “I’ll get straight back to the recording area and provide Equestria with another round!”

“You can? Wonderful,” replied Lovely." Whenever you’re ready.”

Chapter V

“...Rainbow?”

“Here.”

“Pinkie?”

Twilight didn't get a reply. She cleared her throat. “Pinkie?” she asked again.

Pinkie jogged onto the platform with a suitcase. “Right here!” she said, panting and dropping her suitcase.

Twilight opened up Pinkie’s suitcase and had to take out about 70% of its contents - such as a rubber ring, an unhinged door, and a dishwasher - and after calling out the name of Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy, the mares got on the train to Griffonstone.

“I gotta see how my show is getting along,” decided Pinkie urgently, and pulled open the seat in front of her to reveal a screen.

“I didn’t know that was there…” commented Rarity.

“I don’t blame ya,” said Pinkie as she got onto the channel she wanted. She put the headphones on and watched.

The episode started out the same, except with Maud instead of her.

“Hello,” said Maud in a monotone voice. “I’m your host, Maud Pie. We will be talking about rocks.” She picked up a rock. “This, for example, is a rock. It rocks.” In the background came the sound of prerecorded laughter.

“Excuse me,” said a familiar voice whose owner tapped Pinkie on the shoulder. Pinkie turned around to see it was Rose Petal, who had liked her idea. “You’re Pinkie Pie, aren’t you?”

“Why, yes,” affirmed Pinkie happily.

“Look what they've done to your show!” cried Rose. “It’s BORING!” She shoved a newspaper in Pinkie’s face. “Look!”

“I’m looking…” responded Pinkie. “And I think the way to do the crossword is…”

“Not that!” said Rose. “Look at the review section!”

So Pinkie looked at that part and saw a review for the latest episode of Pinks ‘n Pedro.

“WHERE DID PINKIE PIE GO?! This show is nothing without her. I can’t stand another SECOND of this new mare’s voice. Honestly, Pedro is more entertaining than she is.”

Pinkie started to slowly form a giant grin. “They… they…”

“Yes?”

“THEY THINK PEDRO IS FUN!” Pinkie bounced up and down. “I LOVE YOU, PEDRO! YOU’RE THE BEST-”

She stopped when she made a hole in the roof and her head was sticking outside, leaving her torso dangling inside.

Rose had to pull her down with a *POP!*

“Thanks…” said Pinkie. “But still, I knew Pedro could do it!”

“Girls, here we are,” said Twilight, and the train started to slow down more and more until it finally stopped. They were in Griffonstone.

“Talk to you later!” Pinkie told Rose. She regrouped with her friends and the six of them got off.

Rainbow had been scoffing a burrito and was now wiping her mouth with a napkin.

“Hey, Rainbow, got any napkins left?” asked Pinkie. “Got any more of those? I think the train may need one.”

“Why?” Rainbow seemed just as confused as ever.

“Because it’s a-choo choo train!” Pinkie fell back on the ground and laughed.

Twilight rolled her eyes. “PInkie, can you at least try to be serious? This is an important mission we’ve got.”

Pinkie folded her arms. “Aw, you can just be no fun sometimes.”

“You’re not guilt-tripping me,” said Twilight. “You’ll be coming with us sooner or later. “Come on, everypony.” The other four mares followed her.

Pinkie was slumped out on the ground unhappily.

“Tough break, huh?”

Pinkie perked up at the voice. “Hello?”

The being it had come from materialized in front of her. None other than the God of Chaos himself, Discord.

“Discord?! What are you doing here? How have you been, buddy?” Pinkie shook his talon.

Discord shook back. “Not many give me such a pleasant greeting, you know,” he told her. “In any case… I heard what just happened.”

“Yeah…” Pinkie gave a sigh. “They haven’t been taking my ideas too well…”

“They’re simply delusional,” said Discord. “Your show has enjoyed wild success, has it not?”

“Exactly!”

“Why don’t we see how well they get by without you?” said Discord. “I can take you back to Manehattan with a mere snap.”

“Here you go,” said Pinkie, giving him a cracker. “These are perfect for snapping. I always do that before dipping them.

Discord chuckled. “Not what I meant.” He ate the cracker. “Nice, though. A snap of my talon, I meant.”

“I don’t know…” said Pinkie. “They need me for this.”

“How about we see just how well they cope without you?” said Discord. “That’ll teach them a thing or two. They didn’t listen to your Parasprite solution… they forgave Trixie even though that wicked mare hadn’t given you back your mouth… and now they’re completely disregarding you.”

Pinkie couldn’t deny those things. Discord was right.

“You know what? Yes! Please take me there right away!”

“Granted.” Discord snapped his talons and Pinkie was whisked away…

Pinkie looked around. This was the recording room. And now, her crew were looking at her with a peculiar expression. “Um… hello, Pinkie,” said Rain Whip. “Where’d you come from?”

“A draconequus did it.”

Log Roller laughed at that. “Glad to see you’ve been practicing good lines to use. Anyway... “ He gestured to Pedro. “Your pineapple friend has been getting quite the popularity ever since the lastest episode aired. It’s good to have you back for this!”

Pinkie was getting worried about her friends. Maybe she shouldn’t have taken up on that offer…

Chapter VI

"Is everypony here?" asked Twilight, to which she heard the affirmative responses of four of her friends. "Pinkie?" However, where she was expecting to hear some crazy form of "yes", there was nothing.

"Consarnit, don't tell me the girl's still mopin'!" moaned AJ.

"Let's go get her..." instructed Twilight. "Those two can wait."

Rarity looked behind a group of trees. "I can't find her anywhere..." Indeed, Pinkie had vanished from where she had last been seen slumped out feeling sorry for herself.

"Oh dearie me," came a familiar voice. "Seems to me like you're going to spend quite some time searching."

Twilight turned around, and it was, of course, Discord. "Discord?" she asked, tilting her head. "What are you doing here?"

Discord facepalmed. "Am I not allowed to be in a public place without being asked why?" He looked back at the ponies. "Anyway, you'll find Pinkie back in Manehattan with her real friends."

"What?!" cried Twilight. "But she's needed here! Friendship problem! She's pretty good with those!"

"You should have thought of that before you put her down so callously." Discord had his arms folded.

"What's your problem?! We've got a job to do!" Rainbow Dash flew up and pulled her hoof back in front of Discord's face... only for Fluttershy to pull her back from him.

"I think you should listen to your friend there," Discord warned Rainbow. "I've turned her into an orange; I could do the same to you, and I happen to have a craving for some fresh fruit juice." Rainbow gulped and backed away.

"Now of all times? Really?" complained AJ. "Fine. We're sorry for not respecting her idea about a freakin' pineapple as a co-host for a talk show. Is that the friendship lesson we were meant 'ta learn?"

"Much better," replied Discord, smiling and nodding. "I'll get all of you to Manehattan right away."

"Wait, wh-" Before Fluttershy could finish, Discord had snapped those talons of his and sent all of them to Manehattan Telecommunications Tower...

Well, now the crew just seemed REALLY puzzled. Five more ponies had popped in out of nowhere.

"Hi guys!" Pinkie greeted them happily. "How do you like it here?"

"Are you Pinkie's friends?" asked Log Roller.

"Uh... yeah," said Rainbow, deciding to say yes. "We are."

"You're not gonna believe the news," said Rain Whip. "Kevin Hay himself has said he wants to come and look at our set!"

Spectrum was fangirling all over the place. "KEVIN HAY!!!"

Just then, another stallion walked in, wearing a black shirt with a gold necklace. He seemed rather glum.

"Uh... hello?" Pinkie waved a hoof in front of his face. "You're Kevin Hay, aren't you?"

"Yeah, that's me," he said. "I thought this was... interesting. May I look?"

"Of course!" said Log Roller. "Right this way."

He led him into the room they used for filming. "And this is Pedro," said Log Roller. "Say hi, Pedro!"

...

"He's shy," explained Log.

"I seeee..." replied Kevin Hay.

What nopony had expected was for him to grab an axe and chop Pedro up!

"I'm sick of a damn pineapple being more popular than I am!" he yelled. "It's outrageous!!"

He stormed out... leaving Pinkie standing there stunned and teary.

"Let's take her home..." Fluttershy wrapped her foreleg around Pinkie's.

"But we haven't solved the friendship problem..." Twilight reminded her.

"That had better wait..." decided Rainbow.

And everypony else knew that Rainbow was right.

Chapter IV

Echo and Nocturn, two of Princess Luna’s royal batpony guards, were standing outside her royal quarters keeping watch, when they heard a most peculiar and worrying noise from inside - their regal Princess gagging and gasping for air. Echo instinctively raced in, his partner closely behind him.

“Your Highness, what seems to be the problem?” asked Nocturn.

Luna looked at them with a happy expression. “Problem?” she asked. “Oh, I do profusely apologize for the confusion. This…” She snickered and snorted some more. “I have just witnessed a new programme being shown…” She pointed at the wide television screen at a familiar pink mare with a pineapple.

“Do have a seat,” she offered them, patting the bed.

“But Your Highness,” said Echo, concerned. “What if there is a threat? What shall happen?”

“I doubt that, fellows,” replied Luna. “I imagine everypony is currently occupied watching…”

As Pound and Pumpkin giggled and babbled at the screen, their parents, Carrot Cake and Cup Cake, were looking at it in bewilderment.

“So this really wasn’t an elaborate prank…” said Mrs. Cake.

In awe, Rainbow Dash, watching the show from her cloud house, got up. “I think I gotta go lie down again…”

“You still haven’t recovered from that race with the train?” asked Scootaloo, who had been sitting down and watching with her.

“I recovered from that ages ago, squirt,” responded Rainbow. “This is something else. I think Starlight really futzed up the universe in some way we didn’t notice at first…”

“So… does that mean you liked it?” Pinkie asked Twilight and Spike, who were looking rather shaken.

“Well… I mean we do like it…” answered Spike. “But it’s just… well…”

“Okay, I’m gonna be upfront about this,” announced Twilight. “There is no way this should have worked, Pinkie.”

“Well, it did!” Pinkie shrilled in delight. “I gotta go back to the Tele… Tel…”

“Telecommunications.”

“I knew that,” said Pinkie to Twilight. “I gotta get back and finish another episode. See ya! You’re gonna love seeing the ratings! Flip to page 27 in that newspaper!”

“Me again!” Pinkie introduced herself, gladly strutting into the recording room in her flashy outfit. “Ready for more of my masterpiece, dear friends?” Sure, because all this newfound fame hadn’t gone to her head in the slightest… no siree…

Log Roller took another sip from his Pinks ‘n Pedro mug before putting it back down onto the table. “Why yes, of course, Pinkie. We’ve been expecting you.”

So they, along with the rest of their crew of Rain Whip, Log Roller, and Spectrum Dream, got back into the area where they had now recorded two episodes of their new hit talk show. Rain Whip thought this a good time to bring up something she had noticed with the ratings.

“Now, everypony,” she said. “Our ratings are as good as ever, but there’s something we ought to address.” She showed them some reviews she had cut out from various magazines:

'LOVE LOVE LOVE! This Pinkie Pie has a real talent for making the audience laugh and also keeping them up to date on current affairs. I hope she appears in more corners of TV. But why is the pineapple there… it doesn’t do anything…'

'Pedro doesn’t seem like a necessary part of this show, it’s literally just a pineapple that sits there taking up space… I won’t give this a bad review based on just that though. 5 out of 5.'

'Uneven amount of prickles towards the top on one side, would not eat.'

Pinkie inspected the text. “I get it…” she said. “Maybe we need to get rid of the fruit bowl there? That’ll make Pedro the only piece of fruit in the entire room.”

“Perhaps,” said Spectrum Dream, taking the fruit bowl out of the room. She came back in. “Right then - let’s get this new episode underway.”

Mr. and Mrs. Cake had not expected to hear such a lengthy period of silence from upstairs as they worked. And of course, being concerned for not just their employee, but their friend, they opted to go upstairs and see what was wrong with Pinkie Pie. After all, she would always be there for anyone who needed the support, right?

“Pinkie, darling?” came Mrs. Cake’s soothing voice. “What’s going on in there?” She slowly opened the door to see Pinkie on the bed clutching a pineapple (and somehow not finding it physically painful in the slightest).

“Don’t you worry a thing, little Pedro…” Pinkie managed to get out. “They don’t understand… they can’t hurt you any more…”

“Pinkie.” Mr. Cake had decided to lend his voice. “What on earth do you mean?”

“Pedro! They’re all being so spiteful!” Pinkie burst out. “Pedro isn't boring or pointless… is he?”

The Cakes weren’t sure how to answer that. What could they say, simultaneously being honest and not hurting Pinkie’s feelings?

“Let’s just say…” began Mr. Cake. “That we think your show is something very unique and very special.”

Pinkie’s ears perked up. “Huh? You do?”

“Why, of course,” went on Mrs. Cake. “I never would’ve thought of a concept like that.”

Pinkie couldn’t resist a smile coming on. “Thank you,” she said to them.

The Cakes had had their doubts, but now, they’d just have to get used to Pinks ‘n Pedro being a mainstay on the network, Wouldn’t be too hard, considering the entertainment value.

“I needed that,” Pinkie replied gratefully. “I… think I’m up to it. Churning out more episodes, that is.”

“Um, yes, about that…” said Mr. Cake. “Princess Twilight wishes to see you.”

“Alright, girls,” started Twilight, now that she and her friends were gathered in the castle. “I’m sure you noticed your cutie marks glowing earlier today?”

All the other mares around the table nodded.

“I never tried Shoofly Pie until today at lunchtime. It seemed to happen right as I did. I just assumed that was the reason!” she explained.

Twilight just shook her head. “Anyway, the news is that the Emperor and Empress of Giffonstone have had a falling out and that’s making a severe dent in how the kingdom is run.”

Rainbow groaned. “So? Why can’t they just go to counseling?”

“Rainbow, you know the rules,” Twilight answered. “When the map calls us to go somewhere, we have to do so. All of us.”

Hang on, thought Rainbow. If Pinkie is coming along on this, doesn’t that mean she can’t work on that show?

“And don’t worry about your show, Pinkie,” said Fluttershy. “Maud said she’d cover for you while you’re gone.”

Rainbow sighed in defeat.

“She will?” replied Pinkie. “That’s so sweet of her!”

“No need to pack your things right away, girls,” Twilight told everypony. “The train ought to leave in three days.”