The New Champion Rising

by Y-T-Mellon

Rating: teen
Tags: Drama, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Romance, Adventure, Sex, Princess Celestia, Human
Length: 9009

A man that went psycho during his training on Earth is now a military lieutenant in Equestria. Then he was sent to fight for them in a strange world. Day by day, he travels with six different creatures. He then makes his way to save their world.

Jack Curt, a psycho soldier from Earth will help Equestria, and many more nations to save their own world from a menace. Jack will have to be part of a championship to fix this though, and with the new powers he has, he will save everyone.

The six characters: Arizona, Orleander, Velvet, Tiahuo, Paprika, and Pom belong to Mane6 (the people who made Them's Fighting' Herds)

Sex tag is for references of sex

Published 2016-03-15 16:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-05-16 20:38:56 UTC

Prologue: The Journey Begins

Prologue: The Journey Begins

I walked down the hall to the throne room. Celestia wanted to see me in person. Was she going to take away my rank as lieutenant? I don't want that! No, no, I'm lieutenant because of my skills with my katana. That and I was given a great power, so maybe I'm being sent to a mission so secret, it's like James Bond! No, it's too cliche, maybe it'll be like Forrest Gump. No, I'm not stupid enough. Maybe, just maybe it'll be like Deadpool! Yeah, killer katana, check. Insanity, check. Now all I need is an actual gun and another voice in my head and I'm good to go!

I step into the throne room, the Princess of the Sun herself sits like a majestic lion. I bowed to her as the guards leave us. I stood up and she looks down with grief. "Jack, I must send you on a mission that may kill you," she said. I nod, knowing as much. Celestia looks up and smiles a little. "There are rumors going around about another nation. There were some sort of spirits enclosed in that nation, but after the key keeper went missing, the spirits are drifting up again. They are called Predators, they will hunt the civilians of this nation and kill them. I need you to go there and gather up these six animals," Celestia pauses to get a list of names out and gave them to me with her magic. I put it in my pocket and looked up. "There's a ship going there, you must get on, here is your ticket," Celestia says, handing me a golden ticket. I put that in my pocket as well and Celestia sighs. "One more thing Jack," she said. "Be careful," she concludes. I nod and head out the castle.

I sat in the seat of the ship's passenger hold and stared out the window. I take out my list and see the six animals I must talk to.

Arizona, the strongest fighter,
Oleander the leader and key keeper for now,
Velvet, the champion with style,
Pom, the champion who didn't fight,
Paprika, the most playful champion,
and Tiahuo, the loyalest champion.

They sound nice. I smiled to myself and tilted my head when there was a box.

It said From Celestia, to Jack I opened it and saw two glowing orbs float in front of me. They jet into my chest, and I felt a warm sensation thought my body. I kept reading the note. I give you these powers to help you in your journey, use wisely, it said. I smiled. This is indeed helpful! I dunno what it is, but I bet it is helpful. I look out the window and drifted towards space. Before I knew it, I'm standing in front of a tall tower in front of the airship that carried me here. I kept looking at the base of it, seeing a huge black dome that may spread out six hundred feet. It was like a football stadium in all bluntness. I took out a map and looked down to see where I should go. I saw a whole bunch of plains and thought maybe I should go there first.

Before I read more, the map was torn away from me and I'm facing five animals. Two were bulls, two were dragons, and I'm guessing the leader is the unicorn. I didn't bother getting close looks and tried to grab the map.

"Naw bloke, you oughta stay out of our way! Now apologize and maybe I'll give you the map!" The unicorn said in an accent. I sighed.

"Buddy, we can do this two ways," I said grinning. "Option one, you give me the map and I walk away, or option two, I beat your ass up and get it myself," I said simply. The two bulls snort in laughter. The unicorn smirked.

"Option two please," he said. I got out my katana. "Game, start," he continued. Suddenly, a barrier is placed between the unicorn and his gang. Two bars appeared above us with two letters I'm guessing say Health points. This reminded me of Mortal Combat, but I put that in the back of my mind and got my katana ready. The word fight appeared in front of us and I dashed at him. He gives two magical blasts that I separate in two with my katana. I jump in the air, avoiding the third blast and started to slam down my sword. I missed when the unicorn teleports behind me. I grabbed the blade, and made the butt end hit the unicorn in the face.

I thanked Celestia for the spell she casted on me. The spell will make me invincible to my own attacks, but I'll get hurt by someone else's. I made the butt end of my katana uppercut the unicorn. That seemed to stun him. I grabbed the handle, turned and gave two slashes at the unicorn staggering back. I noticed the Health Points bar dropped. This is extremely like Mortal Combat!

The unicorn regains his posture and fires a strong magical blast, sending me in the air. I hit the barrier and fell to the floor, grunting in pain. I rolled backward and got up, shoving my katana backwards above my head. I missed the unicorn, but continued in my momentum, which made me get on my two legs. I rushed at the unicorn, and jumped. Unsurprisingly he teleported, but I wasn't going for him. I got to the barrier and jumped off, the blade in front of me. I saw a surprised unicorn as I plunged my sword into his chest. No blood came out, instead I hear a beep. I got my katana out and looked around to see the barrier removed. I looked at the unicorn scowling at me.

"You got lucky you bloody bloke!" He said. I smiled.

"You're lucky I wasn't trying," I said, putting my katana in my sheathe. I grabbed my map from his pocket and started leaving. That is until the two bulls blocked my path. I sighed. Then, a miracle happened. A cow comes trotting up, looking thoroughly pissed off. She huffs and the unicorn looked at her and gasped. The other four looked and gasped as well.

"Aw crud, Arizona!" The unicorn said. I raised an eyebrow. I looked at the cow with a good set of horns. That's Arizona? She seems young for her title of strongest champion. I smiled.

"Hi," I said simply. She ignores me and continues to stare at the unicorn, sweating bullets.

"H-hi Arizona, we were just having a bit of fun you see?" He says, patting my shoulder. I grunted.

"Yeah, by fun he means taking my stuff and trying to beat me up," I said, making Arizona have smoke come out of her nose. That scared the group enormously. Everyone scattered and ran as I just sat back andf laughed. Arizona looks at me and smiled.

"Howdy stranger, not sure if I have ever seen you around before," she said in a southern accent, smiling. Okay, that is cute. I smile back.

"My name's Jack, what just happened exactly?" I asked. Arizona sighs, shaking her head.

"Well, you just fought a gang of idiots named the Fighters of Light," she said. I nodded.

"Okay, so why was there some sort of video game stuff?" I asked.

"Well, it's hard for me to explain but I'll try," she said. "Every time you enter a battle, you are then entered in some sort of box that blocks you from the outside world. In the box, you can fight the person who challenged you. You can fight with anything you have. For instance, that there sword you have is a great weapon to use. You usually start off with full HP, that if you haven't taken damage in other battles. You can only regain HP from outside the fight by eating something or sleeping. Once you enter a battle though you cannot leave until you or your opponent surrender or get knocked out. If you win, you get a little HP and some sort of coins. Oddly enough, we made it our currency for fighters. Fighters are those that fight for a living. Anyway, speaking about HP, how much you got left?" She asks, ending her tutorial. I swear this feels a lot like that video game. I shrugged. Arizona grabs my hand and makes it slash down slightly. A health bar appears, full. Arizona looks shocked. "You're new aren't you?" She asked. I nod, smirking.

"Military training comes with a lot of perks sister," I said. Arizona huffs.

"Sister?" She asks. I shrugged. "Well, anyway, I'm coming back to my home, and you must join us tonight! Especially since you stood up to the morons. Come on!" She said, ushering me towards a dirt road. I think I'll like this journey.

Chapter 1: The Bull Fight

Chapter 1: The Bull Fight

I sat in a booth with Arizona, noticing that almost everyone is staring. I looked at Arizona for some sort of explanation. After the long walk from the docks of airships, we decided to go to her part of the country. We're now at some sort of Saloon along the dirt road. It's mostly made up of bulls and cows, save for a couple of sheep and three dragons. I kind of gave everyone my best 'I'll give you more than a middle finger if you even try to mess with me' look. Arizona noticed and shook her head.

"I believe they think you cheated your first battle," she said. I shook my head and grinned.

"Haters gonna hate," I said. Arizona gives me a stern look.

"If you keep walkin' around and talking like that, you're gonna get more than hate. Don't go off and accept challenges, because if you kept losing, you're probably gonna actually die from the battle! So I suggest that the next time someone pushes you around, walk away," she said. I rolled my eyes. "What're you gonna do if a bunch of them gangs tag team on ya!?" She exclaims. I grinned even wider.

"In that case, I'm gonna make a couple of freaking kabobs with my katana," I said. Before she could protest a bull walks up, and spits on the table.

"You ain't from around here, are ya partner?" He asks. I shook my head.

"No sir I am not from around here," I answered.

"Heard from my lil' cousin you beat up his boss," I grinned deviously and nodded. "Well then, I challenge you to a battle, outside now," he said in a firm voice. I sighed.

"Sorry pal, she just told me not to get into a fight today," I said. Arizona gave me a nod of approval. The bull snorted and cackled.

"Lettin' a little girl tell you what to do?" He asked.

"No, if I was, I'd be wearing a tutu and inviting you over for some herbal tea in a backyard play set that was made of crayons and magic," I said. He stares at me and shakes his head. I turned to Arizona as he was walking away.

"Nutcased varmit," he said. I froze, my smile disappearing. I stood up.

"What did you call me?" I asked. He looks back, cracking a grin.

"A crazy lil' varmit," he answered calmly. I slowly walked up to him, hand on my katana.

"Say that again, one more time," I said in his face.

"You are a nutcased varmit," he said. I frowned.

"Meet me outside, and pray to God I don't murder you," I said.

As we stood and stared at each other in a standoff, barriers up and health bars full, I felt some sort of surge all of a sudden. At the same time, I grew angry at the bull for some reason. I taunted him by putting two of my fingers on both sides on my head. "Mess with the bull you get the horns moron!" I yelled. The bull huffed and charged. I jumped, did a flip with my katana and sliced at the bull. His health bar lowered slightly. He was a tough cookie to crack. Oh crap that reminds me, I'm kinda hungry. Ironically, I'm hungry for steak. I jumped off the barrier, did a backflip and landed on the bull backwards. I spin around and laughed maniacally as I held on. Arizona was in the crowds, face hoofing at my choice of action. I stuck up my katana and stabbed the bull. It took a bunch of HP off of him, but I'm only half way there. The bull then grows some smarts and tries to stand on two legs.

"Oh crap," I mutter as the bull falls backwards. Before I could slide onto his belly, the ground met my back in a body slam. Once the bull got off I get up, ticked off. It took almost a quarter of my HP. I turned around, flip my katana in a lot of fancy moves and glared. "Hey buddy, I'm hungry for some steak," I said, flipping him off. He charges, a stupid mistake. I jumped, landed on his head and steered him into the barrier. It stunned him, making him stagger. I got the ninja sword and plunged it into his skull. His HP goes down a quarter and I only have to hit him one more time at least. He threw me off, slamming me on the ground. Before he slammed his body on mine, I saw a flash. I looked around as everything is now frozen.

"Power up activated," said a feminine voice. I got up, and the bull finished his slam. He looks up, hate now burning his eyes.

"Come at me beefcake!" I taunted. Everything froze when I stopped moving. The bull slowly charges. I took a side step, getting out my katana, and slicing him. He falls onto the ground in defeat as I put my hands up in victory. The surge I had felt a minute ago is now gone. I look around to see not a crowd of surprised people, but a crowd of grinning idiots and a scared to death Arizona. I realized I didn't hear the beep like last time. I look behind me to see the bull head butt me upwards and slammed me down. I groaned as I saw my HP go down immensely. I felt pure rage and sprang up as the bull tried to slam down again. I got out my katana and swiped at him. I upper cut him with the handle of the katana and kept slashing at him in the air. I finished off my combo of ten hits with a firm drop kick, slamming him into the ground. As I stood on top of him in victory, as the crowds stared at me with surprise, I heard a beep. One by one, everyone started to clap, except Arizona. She walks up to me and bucks me hard in the gut. I groan in pain as I fell to the ground.

"That was just overkill Jack!" She said. I got up and coughed out a little blood.

"It's not like I actually killed him," I said weakly. She grabs my head and turns it to the bull. He still didn't get up yet. "Oh crap," I said. I ran over and checked his pulse. I decided the best place to check was his neck. I felt normal heart beats beat every second. That's a little too close for comfort. After Five minutes of waiting though, he woke up and groaned loudly.

"Ow, you have a bad temper," he said, getting up.

"Sorry sir, I didn't know you could actually get hurt. It looked so much like a game I thought-"

"Now I don't want to hear any of that, you won fair and square," he said, limping up. I sighed. He pats my shoulder and said, "I know I was a little rough on you, but I had a reason!" He said, chuckling. I tilted my head with Arizona in confusion. He points to a couple of cows watching throughout the whole time. "I wanted to seem like a tough guy, most gals like that!" He said. I smiled a little.

"Yeah, it kinda worked the same way in my world," I said. He and I laughed together as he trotted towards the cows. As Arizona and I started walking, I struck up a conversation, "Do cows actually like that?" I asked. Arizona rolls her eyes and kept silent. "Look I'm sorry for fighting, but no one, and I mean no one, calls me crazy," I said.

"Why?" Arizona asked finally in an irritated voice.

"I don't wanna talk about it, it brings bad memories," I said simply.

"Then why did you tell that?" She asked.

"So that one, you can talk more, and two, a warning for the future," I said. She sighs. I then felt horrible when she wouldn't talk for the next hour.

When she talked, she said, "You're someone I don't think I'll ever understand." I laughed a little. She smiled and we continued walking.

Chapter 2: Arizona's Test

Chapter 2: Arizona's Test

Day two on this trip and we're here at Arizona's home! It's quite cozy to be honest. Arizona and I walk up to a ranch. By ranch I mean a huge town full of bulls and the occasional sheep or unicorn. I smiled and then looked at Arizona. She had a smirk.

"First rule in Prairie, newcomers fight the champion!" She said. I smirked.

"Game on!" I said, noticing the barriers go up. Arizona's health bar popped up and it was certainly different. It was gold with horns at the end. "Nice bar," I said gesturing towards it. She smiles and the word fight appears. She charges and I jumped, my katana out already. I then suddenly remembered what she said. If you kept losing, you will probably die! I got onto the ground quick and blocked a punch from her and jumped back. I jumped off the barrier and held the blade part of my katana. I slammed the handle onto her head and jumped back as she head-butted.

"Come on Jack! Stop weaving!" She said. She got out a lasso and roped me in. I struggled, but I got a firm punch in the face and I felt punches everywhere. I jumped up when she made a thunder stomp of some kind. I looked at the HP bars and saw that half of my HP was taken away, but Arizona is still pretty firm. I landed on the ground to only be lassod, but I cut ties with her and her lasso shenanigans. I charged at her, and then I felt a surge.

"Power up activated," said a feminine voice. I honestly wish I had a metal bat so I'd be able to actually hit Arizona. As if magic happened, I suddenly have a bat instead of a katana. I blocked Arizona as quickly as I could. She knocked me down and started slamming on top of me. No not in that way gees, get your head out of the gutter dude! Anyway, I felt my bones break and I growled to myself and pushed her off. I swung my bat at her, hitting her in the face.

"Hey batter batter batter!" I yelled. Arizona then charges at me. I side stepped and slammed the bat down, slamming her to the ground. "Swing batter!!!" I yelled. I looked at the HP bars to see she has half amount of HP left as well as I do. I jumped back and got into batting position. Arizona huffs and stomps her hoof.

"You fight like a dairy farmer!" She said in a taunting voice. I smirked. She charges again and before she hits me, I jump.

"Olei!" I yelled. She turns around and my bat turns into a katana. I quickly gulped before I was uppercutted into the air. I felt so much pain as I was beaten up badly. I fell to the floor and got up weakly. Arizona stands over me.

"Jack, you alright?" She asked.

"Yeah, give me a second," I said.

"Here let me fix that," she said. She bucks me into the air and I heard a beep. Then, it doesn't stop their, I was literally kicked back into a bar through a window. Arizona gasps and runs over to me as I laid on the floor. I got up.

"So this guy fell into a bar," I slurred as I started seeing double. For a second I thought Arizona had a twin. "And he said 'Wowy! I never felt a kick like that except when I drank!'" I finished, causing Arizona to chuckle. I then felt my lungs stop. Arizona then stands over me and freaks out. I can barely hear her, but I did try to calm her down. "Don't worry Zona, if you keep standing over me like this, I think I'll get better," I said as she tries her best not to slap me.

I woke with a start in a bundle of hay. I look around to see an adorable Zona and a moon. I've been in too many hospitals to recognize where I am. I sighed in comfort though. This hay is so soft, like, I could literally sit on a stack and watch TV all day. I look around again, feeling like something is missing. I then see my katana and sheath on a different stack of hay. I got up and walked over to it, grabbing it and then looked around again to see where exactly I am. I see a bar building, a clock building, and a hotel stand. No seriously, it says 'Hotel' on the board nailed to it, yet I don't see any beds. I look down. Hay. Hay's for horses dang it! Well I guess cows too. I look around, sleep becoming my enemy and trying to control me. I yawned loudly, fell and grabbed the closest thing to squeeze in a cuddle. I have no idea what I got but it's warm.

Next morning I slowly open my eyes to see a sleeping cow in my arms. I then realized that I am gonna die if Zona wakes up. I felt heat on my face and ears and got up instantly. What made me even more embarrassed was that I only had my sleeveless undershirt, underwear, and saggy jeans on. I started feeling cold after I let Zona go. I think I like Zona as her nickname. Which reminds me, I'm gonna nickname Oleander Orlando. The names are so similar. It's uncanny even! I then brought myself back to reality and focused on situation at hand. I put on my shirt and katana and sighed. The last thing I need today is a beat down. I looked at Arizona, sleeping as a peaceful ball of fur, which reminds me of a cat. I shake my head to regain reality and took out my map. I need to go northwest to get to the sheep state. I hear they are literally a bunch of idiots. I doubt it, but I'm gonna need to bring Zona along. I hear a groggy yawn and look over to see Zona getting up sleepily. She takes my arm, yanks me down onto the floor and gets on top of me like I am some sort of bed.

"This is awkward," I mumble to myself. I take Zona and carefully put her down beside me. Before I got up, she yanks my arm and I'm being cuddled by a sleepy cow. I grunted and got out of her grip. I huffed as I was free and then I sat down. This time, she grabs my chest and yanks me to her side. I sighed as I realize that I am not gonna escape. I yawned and drifted off to dream land.

I wake up and I look around. It seems to be somewhat 7:30 AM. I look to the town, new buildings setted up. I got confused and stood up.

"Morning you sleepaholic," a raspy feminine voice said. I smirked.

"Yeah you too," I replied in confidence. Arizona walks up a little slowly.

"Seems like Market's setting up early today," she said, looking at all the new stands and buildings. "See, markets aren't really part of our town. They set up each morning and get as many customers as possible," she explained. We then heard a bull's roar.

"Out of my way!" Boomed a voice. Zona sighs as she prepares herself for something. I tilted my head in confusion until I saw the biggest freaking bull ever! Next time I eat steak, I think he'll be watching. I gulped when he came to a stop in front of us. He kept panting heavily like an angry animal. Oh wait he's a bull, okay never mind. He stares into my would as I just nonchalantly wave.

"Hi, my name's Jack, and this is my travel buddy Arizaona!" I said. He huffed into my face. "You know, if you need a mint, you can just ask," I said. He glares before chuckling loudly.

"So this is the newcomer eh?" He asks Arizona.

"Dad, don't, just don't," Arizona mumbled. Her father gave a hearty laugh.

"Don't worry, I won't hit him!" He said.

"If you want to fight just ask!" I said. He laughs a little.

"You know my cards huh? Well, let's be introduced to each other first," he said. "My name is Texas, the best bull in the Prairie!" He exclaimed. Arizona clears her throat. "Sorry, second best," he said. I smirked.

"I'm Jack Curtis, lieutenant officer of Equestrian Military forces!" I said. Texas huffs and Arizona gasps.

"Equestria? The only creature from Equestria that came here is called a unicorn named Starswirl or something. Now you best tell me where you're actually from," he said.

"Equestrian soil," I answered.

"I don't appreciate liars here boy," the bull said.

"You're wrong, I didn't lie, I'd bring up my green card, but with this sunny weather, it's now a tan card," I said like a smart-ass.

"Boy, are you crazy?" He asked. I froze and looked at him in the eyes.

"What did you call me?" I asked. Arizona pulls me away and slaps me.

"Don't go on fighting him now, he's my dad," she said.

"Shame," I replied. Texas huffs.

"Fine, we'll fight another time, come on over to dinner, I set up a meal for your health," he said. I nodded and followed him. Arizona gave me a side glance fuill of worry before sighing and following me.

Chapter 3: The Shot Master

Chapter 3: The Shot Master

I didn't even stay for the meal that Texas gave. It was only everything I couldn't eat. It was grass everywhere. They were all apparently different. There was dry grass, wet grass, steamy grass, spicy grass, sugar grass, chocolate grass, vanilla dipped grass, grass grass, green gra- for fuck's sake it's freaking grass!!! I slipped a note on Arizona's plate when I slipped out. It contained all I needed to tell her about. The championship was gonna be this month. I don't know when, but I know it's this month. I also told her about how she will need to be at the championship.

As I left the town of bulls cows and sheep, I sighed. Zona was a great friend you know? Now I'm all alone with my thoughts again. I kept walking down the road humming to myself.

"Off to see the deer, the wonderful deer of tundra land," I hummed. After a while, I heard something. It came from behind me. I turn around to see a figure. A small, brown and white figure. I squinted to see better. I realized it's Arizona! I started running towards her, my arms open for a hug.

"Jack!" I heard Arizona say. I waved my arms in the air to show where I am. I squinted once she got closer. My eyes went wide when I saw that she is pissed. "Jack!" She yelled ticked off and with red eyes. I ran the opposite direction as she is charging at me with all four legs. And a ticked off attitude. Which is cute for some reason. Okay now I see why people call me crazy. I looked behind me as I ran to see a cow that is right behind me. "... Shi-" was all I could say before I'm launched into the air. As I looked around in the clouds I saw an eagle beside me. It pats my back as I started to fall back down to Earth. Unluckily for me, I'm heading towards a rock wall. I braced myself for impact as I felt the wall rush up to me. Before I knew it, I'm on the ground with a bloody nose and a cow. The cow is looking down at me with a content face.

"Next time you decide to run off and have an adventure without me, you're dead," she said simply, trotting down the road. I just sat there stupified at the sentence. "Ya coming?" She asked.

After a long day of traveling to the next country, we found a bar. A bar in the middle of a friggen' desert. Arizona and I are going to the tundra country. I have no idea why the two countries right beside each other are completely hot on one side, an iceberg that puts the Himalaya's to shame on the other. Then again, that pink pony I met one time told me how Equestria was made, so I just shrugged it off. She was almost as crazy as I am. Except, I hide it really well. As we entered the bar, my nose is in heaven.

I breathed in the smell of beer. Beer, wonderful motherbucking beer! I found myself beside Arizona as she ordered two large cups of beer. "I'm honestly surprised they divided the cup sizes. I mean sure there are those who're light drinkers, but how are you sure you're not one of them?" She asks.

"Easy, I'm Irish," I said simply. "Irish people on Earth always drank the most. Funny how they actually aren't offended by anything! Unless you're stereotypical about them or insult their mothers and their cooking," I said. Zona nods understanding.

"Yeah, I hate it when people are stereotypical about cows! They think we have to lactate even though we don't even have foals," she said. "Also, they think cows can never fight for themselves! Tartarus, I was able to beat up my dad, who was the freakin' leader of this tribe!" She continued.

"Wait, you beat up your own dad?" I asked.

"Long story," she said. The bartender came up and gave us our drinks. I took a whiff, gaining a strange look from Zona. I melted into pure happiness, missing the taste of alcohol of some kind. Zona just shrugs and starts sipping. I on the other hand chugged. I brought the cup down, dry of any liquid. I smiled slightly contented. I look up to see that there was gonna be a drinking contest. In five minutes.

"Excuse me, can you sign me up for the drinking contest, name's Jack," I said. The bartender nods and trots off.

"Sign me up too!" She yelled after her. I chuckled.

"You're going down," I said. Zona just huffs.

"You've never seen me in action. I'm Arizona and I'm the best drinker as much as a strong fighter," she said.

As everyone who signed up for the contest sat around, we all have kegs right beside us. "Everyone ready? Alright, three, two, one, go!" Yelled the bartender. I smirked and started drinking. I chugged four drinks already along with Arizona. There were eight others and two of them got dizzy from nausea. Arizona and I are in the lead as the others had to take a small break. The rules of the game were almost the same back home. The only difference is that we have to keep drinking until we're drunk and unable to talk. Or fall over. Or both. Nevermind, there isn't a difference. After the sixth one I had to take a breath. Arizona did as well. This game is the last man standing version. The other version is who gets drunk first wins.

"Drunk yet?" I asked. Arizona looks at me in the eyes.

"No," she said simply. She realized she just wasted time seeing me chug another cup. After twenty-one cups, Arizona and I are slightly drunk. I chugged number twenty-two, and smiled like an idiot as Arizona is wavering. I hiccuped and chugged another cup. I'm on the thjird keg, I must make it count! Arizona chugs half a cup and stops for a moment. I laugh out loud. She chugs the rest of the cup and slams it down.

"Last three cups," bartender said with his funny voice. It sounds like an English language, but I'm not exactly sure. Maybes he's speaking Spanish. No, wait maybe French.After two cups I look at the last one. Arizona is on her last one as well. The bartender is smiling widely, curious to see who will win. As soon as Arizona and I drank our cup, we both raised our arms in the air and whooped. And likes the lights of fourth July, we went out cold. We left the building though, going down the road to tundra.

Chapter 4: Too Friggen' Cold!!!

Chapter 4: Too Friggen' Cold!!!

I sat stupefied at the cold wasteland in front of me. I look behind me to see a desert. How the hell does this even exist? How does this work? I know deer have magic, but come on! Zona keeps trotting a little dizzily down the road, still drunk after last night.

"For excelsior!" She yelled. I smirked and tread onward. As the temperature drops, I took notice of Arizona's fur. It's a tan color, getting lighter at the hooves. Her emerald eyes seem to gleam with confidence. I sighed, seeing my breath in the air.

It's been five freaking hours and we haven't seen the village. It's supposed to be close at the borders. I know we're on foot, but this is just ridiculous. It is also starting to snow harder every minute. Right now, I don't think I can see ten feet. Arizona started slowing down, at which I took notice. I put my bag down and looked around. I found a blanket and I kept digging while not looking up. "Hey Zona, need a blanket?" I asked. I heard silence. Utter silence, no puns intended. I look up to see a frozen Arizona with a scared look. When I say frozen, I mean she's in a coat of solid ice. I stood up and quickly said, "Game start." Most of the fogginess went away and I saw a deer with blue oddly shaped horns.

"Oh dear," she mumbled. I took out my katana and stood still. "Well, I was gonna bring you back peacefully, but now there's no choice," she said. The word fight appears and I'm off.

I run at her, katana at my side and she brings her hoof up in some sort of dance move. A pillar of ice uppercuts me into the air. I fall down, only to be uppercut by another pillar of ice, this time it had a shape. I growled to myself. I landed on my feet, just in time to launch off the ice sculpture below me. I flew in the air, and slammed my katana down onto the frightened looking deer. My katana sliced at her, and I was sent back because she literally bitch slapped me. I wish one of those power ups came on. As if my prayers were answered, I felt a surge of energy. Everything slowed down and I could see everything almost clearly. An ice sculpture is forming below me, and a needle made of ice is coming my way. I quickly started slamming down with my katana and I sliced the ice building in half. I deflected the needles with the same weapon and they went sailing into the deer. I look up as the deer's stunned to see half my HP is left and the deer has a quarter left. What struck me odd is that the HP bar she has is golden with some fancy markings on it in the shape of a deer's antlers. Out of instinct, I raised my katana to block the ice needle heading my way. I look at the female deer in front of me and ran at her. Time speeds up when I moved, and I feel the powerful surge gone. I jumped in the air and before I struck a blow, the deer blocks my attack. I groaned and jumped before she could see if I'm away. The next thing she knows is that a katana's impaled her back, making her lose the game. I pull it out, finding no blood and look at the deer who's shaking. I put the katana to her neck. "Who are you and why did you attack?" I asked. The deer gulps, trembling in fear.

"Velvet, and I am so sorry to attack you mister, but I thought you were bad news," she said shakily. I look at her and smiled. I think I was supposed to find her. I put my katana back in it's sheath and shook her hoof.

"My name's Jack Curtis, and I am looking for the original six champions so that they could hear a warning about the championship coming up," I said smiling. "But first, how do I unfreeze Zona?" I asked. Velvet looks at my frozen companion and smiles.

"Arizona is that you?" She asked, trotting up to her. "It's been such a long time since I've seen you, so how are things running in that ranch of yours?" She continued. She frowns realizing that Zona is frozen. "Oops," she said. I nodded. "Well, she has to unfreeze naturally," she stated. I sighed.

After an hour of trying to unfreeze Zona by rapping her limp, frozen body in a blanket, we are at the village. I know I should know the names, but there's no way I can pronounce it. I felt a small bit of warmth through the iced skin I have on. I look down at Arizona, wrapped up in a blanket in my arms. I sighed. I look at Velvet who was smiling like some school girl. "What?" I asked.

"Oh nothing, nothing," she said. I give her a stern look. I shrug it off and I hear moaning. I look down to see Zona waking up. Colors on her fur seem to brighten up a bit when she opens her eyes. I set her down gently.

"Arizona, buddy you okay?" I asked. She looks at me groggily and lazily puts her hoof to my face. She starts patting me and whispers something.

"Settle down boy, settle down, I'll get your food in five minutes once I'm done sleeping," she said. I shrug.

"Yeah, you're gonna be fine," I said. I then smelled a smell of food. Arizona must have sniffed it too because her eyes flew open and her floppy ears came up. "Oh yeah, you're fine," I said again. She takes a big sniff, and slowly exhales.

"Hey y'all, what did I miss?" She asked.

"You were frozen by Velvet, I fought her and won, I carried you here wrapped up in a blanket, and we're in the deer village," I said. Arizona turns to Velvet and smiles slowly.

"It's good to see ya Velvet," she said slowly. Velvet allows herself to smile until she was sucker punched onto the ground. "That is for freezin' me," she said. Velvet gets up, smiling wide.

"You'll never change, will you?" She asked. Zona shakes her head. We all laughed a little and went into the cafe that was beside us. I never thought warmth like this would be so good!

Chapter 5: A Small Freakout

Chapter 5: A Small Freakout

I sighed when I sat in a booth. The booth felt like some sort of velvet. I guess no puns intended. I looked around the cafe, and saw that there were two animals that had my attention. A llama and a sheep. They both looked like theyb were buddies the way they talked. One of them even sounded like that pink pony I met once. The pony was interesting to say the least. Anyway, the sheep actually looked 'sheepish'... I should never do that again. I looked down at Arizona, happily reading the menu on the wall to see what she could get. Ironically for me, I wanted a mocha frappuccino. I had no idea why I always wanted one every time I was cold, but I shrugged it off. I had returned my attention to the menu and wanted to see if there's something for me to eat. One food caught my attention. A chocolate cake slice. I was drooling when I saw the sign. I loved chocolate. Chocolate was the best thing ever! Then, Zona and I raised our limbs in the air at the same time as we yelled, "Chocolate cake please!" I glanced at Zona with surprise. She does the same and we both laughed. Velvet shook her head, grinning.

"Now I must deal with two Arizonas," she said. I smirked.

"Don't worry, I won't turn evil," I said.

"Yeah, he won't turn e- hey wait a minute," she said. She shot me a glare and shook her head. I smiled wider and sighed.

About five minutes later, I got my chocolate cake in all it's glory. The creamy, chocolatey texture of the cake itself, and the cool, crunchy pieces of chocolate ships, all covered in chocolate sauce. I thought I would get diabetes from it when I took the first bite in it's richness. I moaned to myself loudly as I enjoyed it.

"I think my taste buds are crying out of joy," I mumbled. Arizona just laughed and dug into the cake.

"When was the last time you even huad chocolate?" Velvet asked.

"I don't know, maybe two years?" I said. I then, felt something different. I didn't know what it was until I tried to get my katana. I lost it. I slammed my fists down, and yelled in an enormous amount of rage," Who the hell took my sword!?" Silence fell over the room. Arizona gave me a surprised look.

"What do ya mean?" She asked. I pointed at my empty sheath. Arizona shrugged. "I bet you're good fightin' with your fists as well as your ninja sword," she said. I gave her a glare that actually made her flinch.

We're outside to put up a fight to show how weak I was without my sword. Velvet stood on the opposite end. The word fight appeared and I ran over to Velvet. She's surprised by my speed and before she could block me, I threw a punch. A punch that didn't even hit her. I stumbled forward and got my composure. I ran again, jumped and tried to do an aerial kick. Instead of kicking Velvet, I kicked the ground. I jumped up, and cried in pain. Without my weapon, I'm like some sort of defenseless kitty. Velvet threw her ice shards at me, which I blocked. She summoned an ice sculpture to uppercut me, and two of them kept tossing me in the air like some sort of tennis game, making me the ball! I land on the ground, spitting a little blood out.

"Do you see what I mean!?" I asked. Arizona nodded. Velvert was stupefied.

"When you had your sword you were beating me up like I was some sort of ragdoll," she said. I nodded. I forfeit the game and sat down on a bench and put my hands on my head and tried to think. Where had my sword gone?

Author's Note

I'm sporty that this chapter is short and poorly written but I have writers block and I wanted to have this chapter out fast, so here you go.

Chapter 6: What The Hell?

Chapter 6: What The Hell?

I rocked myself forward mumbling. "Where is my sword? Is it gone? Will I never be the same!?" I askef myself.

"Don't worry Jack, whatever happened to it, I'm sure it's fine!" She said. I shot her a glare.

"It's not fine, I'm a goner, I'm powerless, and I'm feeling my twitch again!" I said. The memories of my training at Fort Condra had started to come back. It all stopped when I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see a llama with my sword. I grabbed the katana and put it in my sheath and hugged the llama so hard, I was surprised she was able to breath.

"Hi! I'm Paprika! I was wondering around this tundra to see an old friend of mine and I found this thingy in the snow and I thought that it might belong to someone that was obviously not from around here and I'd say you were one of them, but I wasn't sure until you called for your sword then had a battle with Velvet and then forfeit and then start rocking yourself like a baby and then I thought,' Oh my gosh this is the guy's sword! And woo wee isn't this a coinkidink that I'm looking for my friends like you are!" She said. I have no idea what she said but I know she said her name.

"Thank you so much Paprika, by the way, I'm looking for three other critters like you, Arizona, and Velvet, there's a compe-"

"There's a competition which smells funny by Celestia and she sent you over to tel us six champions about it so we could check it out, and you got to Arizona who said she'd join you and then you got all the way over here and fought Velvet and I think I know the rest," she said. I just stood with my jaw dropped.

"How did you know?" I asked.

"Just a hunch!" She said vaguely. I rubbed my temples and just faced it. This one was a lot like a pink pony I knew that dropped by in Canterlot from time to time. She was a great friend. Her name's Pinkie, which definitely suited her. Paprika was a lot like her strangely enough. I smiled and got up. Paprika gasps.

"Oh! I know what we should do!" She exclaimed.

"What?" I asked. Barriers started appearing.

"Fight!" She said excitedly.

She hugs me, and launches me in the air, and throws me down. I got out my katana, chuckling at the surprise attack. I ran at her and jumped. She dodges my attack from above and pulls out a blue cannon. She blasted me with it and I slammed into the wall. I got up, cracking my back. I smirked and ran at her. I felt a surge as I activated one of my power ups. I fell to the ground and barely dodged a flag tied to a needle. I looked up in surprise to see that my power up isn't affecting her. She's catching up to every move I make. I activated the other power up and thought of an ingenious plan. I smirked as I transformed my katana to a knife. Paprika gives an ooooh as it happens before her. I ran at her again, did a backflip, dodging another needle and threw my knife. The butt-end hits her head and she stumbled a little. I don't have too much time left. I grabbed my knife the correct way and threw it at Paprika, before the blade hits her, she grabbed it. I smirked when she fell for it. The knife transforms into the katana, and the blade plunged into her head. I walk over to take the katana out. Her HP just went down three quarters. There was barely any left. Before I wasted any more time, I jabbed the llama again in the chest brutally. I take out the katana when I heard a beep. It wasn't over for me though, because I heard a sizzling below me. I look down to see a nice wrapped up present. I realized it was a bomb, but before I could move away, I was blasted into the same wall as before.

"Good game!" I gasped out. Arizona galloped over while I was getting up.

"What happened!?" She asked.

"Paprika," I said. Zona starts laughing hysterically as soon as I answered.

"Jack, don't mess with her, every time someone wins against her, she leaves a nasty surprise," she said. I wave my hand away. Paprika walks up, smiling giddily.

"Hi Zony! It's been a long time!" She said. I look up at her, then at Arizona.

"The hell is wrong with the thing!?" I ask out loud.

Chapter 7: The Life Before

Chapter 7: The Life Before

I finish my bottle of victory, and sat with my desert eagle and my friend Jerry. "Jack, I'm serious, you better start sitting with us at the mess hall because you like a crazy man, talking to yourself! Also, you have got to stop drinking." He said smiling. I laugh.

"Jerry, buddy, I'm not crazy, I just like guns and swords I guess," I said a little drunkenly.

"I know your drunk because you just ignored me, we need to hit the hay alright? Now, go off and sleep, you'll need it." This is all I remember before I woke with a start on my bunk. My katana beside me, I look around my squad and saw my friends sleeping soundly. The United States Army. It's good, I suppose. I look at the desert eagle on the tables beside me, and sighed. Another restless night for me. I think I should lay off the alcohol, and start trying to practice with my katana. I've practiced with my gun a little more recently to get my aiming down. It's tricky with physics and stuff. My sergeant has been telling me to throw away the katana, but I've kept it. It's weird though, I can never bring myself to go to a battle without it. I've always used a gun, but I've been using the katana for show. Why can't I leave it? I pondered this for a few moments until alarms started to blare, and I panicked. My squad wakes up, Jerry bangs his head against his bunk. I grab the desert eagle and ran. I almost screamed at Jerry when he steps out. The last thing he ever did was scream. I look at his mangled body, full of lead and blood. I felt my anger grew and grabbed my katana and ran out. I deflected the bullet, and shot two guys at the end of the hallway. More men came, and they tried to stop their blood from leaving their throats when I had zipped past. Five men were at the room, looking through the fridge. I plunged into one, katana pointing out and he fell to the floor. I back-stepped to dodge a bullet and shot the firer. I jumped onto the table and jumped off of it with one foot to slice the man panicking. I kept his body in front of me to shield myself from bullets spraying out from a shotgun. When he started to reload I threw the body down and kicked the gun out of the man's hands. I slit his throat and caught the shotgun in time to blow the brains out of the last man standing.

I ran towards the exit, anger still burning. I don't know what I was doing. I just kept slicing until the next thing I know, the sergeant is standing in front of me, anger in his face. "You just pray to God that you don't go to Alcatraz with the crimes you just committed! Killing your own squad member before running off to kill the enemy! Well boy, hear this, I don't fucking care if you won the war, but a crazy ass person like you should not be here in this army!"

"Sir, I am not crazy," I said. He turns to me, red faced.

"Bullshit! I saw an insane person with a gun and sword, and you expect me to think you're not crazy!?" I stood my ground, starting to get agitated.

"I am not crazy," I said. He glares down at me and punches me at my jaw.

"You do not talk back to your superiors that way!" He screams in my ear. I got a sudden rage. I muttered something. "What did you say?" I smirk a little.

"I've got something to tell you sir," I said. He leans closer. I spat out blood in his face and started laughing. He punches me again, and I pull out my sword and cut his arm off. The next thing I know, I'm facing the wall, guns pointed at me, no other choice but to kill me. I start laughing. "Sergeant's right boys, I am a psychopath," I mumble.

"Any last words Jack Curtis?"

"Yeah, see you guys in hell," I said. That's when I saw a bright light and heard a voice telling me to take off my blindfold.

I woke with a start in the hotel. I look at Zona, sleeping peacefully. I get up and walk to the bathroom. I look in the mirror and saw the person I used to be. Jack Curtis, the murderer.